


°From strangers to lovers°

by bellarosa



Series: Signs of the Universe [1]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017)
Genre: Asphyxiation, BDSM, Bakery, Beds, Blue Eyes, Bondage, Brothers, Car Sex, Choking, Christmas, Coffee Shops, Comfort, Dogs, Embarrassment, Falling In Love, Fantasy, Food, Friends to Lovers, Funny, Hotel Sex, Idiots in Love, It's a sign, Love, M/M, Meet the Family, Mpreg, Music, New York City, Piano, Problems, Rope Bondage, Sick Character, Strangers, Voice Kink, Winter, universe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-02-19 14:23:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 68
Words: 292,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22145686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarosa/pseuds/bellarosa
Summary: Timmy's every day routine and life will be thrown out of proportion after he runs into the same tall stranger a few days in a row.When we get to the time in our life, and we like where we are and with whom we're with, and people are gonna ask "How did you two meet?", they'll expect us to say "Ah, it was destiny", but no. I'll look at him, hold his gaze and say "It was the random luck of the Universe."
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Series: Signs of the Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839667
Comments: 1719
Kudos: 535





	1. A dark Monday with a touch of stardust

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Here is my first Charmie fanfic. I am so excited for posting the first chapter, i had so much fun while writing it. I already wrote 4 chapters and i can't wait to share them with all of you. I wrote from Timmy's POV, he's 18-19 years old, i changed couple of things to fit the plot that i imagined. All of this is fiction and straight out of my head. Let me know what you think about it in the comments, and enjoy!

I woke up 4 minutes before my alarm. When I opened my eyes and saw that it was 07:06, I wanted to scream into the void.

I was still tired, my head was pounding, and the thought of getting up from a warm bed, getting out into the cold and sitting in the same room with 20 other people almost made me cry. The thought that this was my final semester and that things are gonna go for better once the school ends was the only thing that kept me going throughout the day.

And on top of it all, it was Monday. And to even top that, I had an exam in a few hours.

I tried not to be one of those people who hate Mondays, I usually do it, but this particular morning I wasn’t feeling it.

If I were to wake up at least half an hour before the alarm, I’d take another nap and feel better, for sure. But no, it had to be 4 minutes earlier. Four fucking minutes.

Eventually the damn thing started ringing and I turned it off. I Got up, ran to the bathroom, got ready and headed out to the nearest bakery to get fresh and warm pastry for me, my brother and his girlfriend. That became our little morning routine. It didn’t bother me to go out and get food for us, I love food, who doesn’t? My brother should be up soon as well, he has class in the afternoon, lucky bastard.

My brother, Victor is 3 years older than me and he had the tendency to wake up at the same time as me, work online before class and work some more online when he’s home in the evening. I don’t know how he does it all, I keep thinking I wouldn’t be able to do it, so many things at the same time.

For the last 4 years it’s been just the two of us. Well, me, Victor and his girlfriend Jules. We all lived together in a tiny apartment in New York city. I never really met our dad, he left when I was 2 years old, and our mom is working on the other side of the country, as head of cardiology. Our mom, Nicole, was born and raised in Paris, France. Our grandparents and her moved to the States when she was 15 years old. She was left as a single mom at a very young age, we lived with our grandparents most of our lives. They helped her a lot, they were there and helped her raise us while our mom was finishing medical school. Because our schools were here in New York and she got settled down with her new husband in San Francisco, we decided it was best like this for everybody. We were happy with this arrangement. I never lacked of any motherly affection, I would see her every week when all three of us are available. She’d fly over here, we’d fly over there, and during the holidays, we’d all meet up and go somewhere for a day or two, just the three of us.

Victor and Jules had been dating since they were in high school, they’re so close to engagement, and when that happens, it should be around the same time as when I’d be leaving home to go to college. When I move out, this apartment will be theirs. And until then, it will be just the three of us.

I liked Jules since the first day I met her, she calmed Victor down and she was the one who told him about the job online. He’s more serious now and it was all thanks to her. I’d love to meet someone who could ground me and maybe show me some ways because I’m currently lost and don’t know where I’m headed. But I guess that’s normal for a kid my age.

The bakery was 5 minutes from our apartment. It was snowing outside so I warmed up well. It has been snowing for two days straight without stopping.

It was still early, there weren’t many people out this early in the morning, except the ones who are working in the neighborhood, other than that, people are traveling by car or the subway to get where they need to go.

It was 07:20 when I got out.

I put on my headphones and played some music during my short walk to the bakery.

Once I was there, I was so happy to feel the warmth again. There was a line; six people in front of me. Are you fucking kidding me? I had an exam at 08:45, I had the time, I just hoped I wouldn’t run out of patience. There was no one coming in behind me, I was the last one.

After waiting in line for maybe 7 minutes, while browsing through Instagram and texting my mom, there was one person in front of me. A tall guy. I couldn’t see the cashier because of his height.

And just as that guy was finishing up, paying for his food, another guy walked in. I turned around for a second to take a look at him. I couldn’t get much out of the view but I noticed that he was tall, taller than the one in front of me who was just about to leave. The tall guy behind me was looking down on his phone, he was wearing a dark blue jacket and a black hat, but I couldn’t take a good look at his face.

The guy in front of me left.

“Good morning.” I said to the cashier.

“Good morning, what can I get for you?” She said, smiled and leaned in to take my order.

And just when I thought it was my lucky minute, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Excuse me, I am so sorry, I’m in a hurry. Would you mind if I go first, dude?” The tall guy behind me said.

Dude?

I stood for a millisecond, didn’t say anything, didn’t move at all, but he did cut in line in front of me and ordered his food.

It wasn’t like he asked me if he could go first. No, he just cut me in, said a few words into thin air and left me standing there looking like a total idiot.

I hate this guy.

He threw a smile my way while he was waiting to pay up. But I moved my head away and with the peripheral vision I caught him glancing my way a few times. I was pissed to even consider looking his way, I kept rolling my eyes, hoping he’d get the message that he fucked up and made me really angry. He probably tried to make up for cutting in front of me, like a smile would light up my mood. But no, I didn’t look at him, I couldn’t care less about his attempt of apologizing through a smile.

At least he said thanks to the cashier, where’s my “Thank you.”? Jerk. Then he walked pass me and threw a causal “Later!” at whoever was there to catch it.

Later? What the fuck was that? I’ve never heard anyone say goodbye like that.

I was already on the edge of explosion for waking up before the alarm, and for the cold morning, and for the exam, and for the line in the bakery, and now this guy cuts me in…what more could go wrong this early on a Monday morning? It wasn’t even 8 am.

“Hello, again.” She said with a smile.

I stayed quiet. I wanted to ask her why would she let some random ass guy cut in on a regular customer. She’d probably say something like, “Oh, but he was in a hurry” or “My weakness is tall guys”. Pathetic.

I asked for four cheese croissants and a raspberry donut. Victor and I would split the cheese stuff, and a donut was for Jules. She eats it with her coffee at home.

“We only have one cheese croissant left.” She says, trying to look like she’s sorry, like Oops, it happened.

“Really?”

“Yeah. That guy before you took the last three.”

Of course he did. Add this to the list. Add the fact that I could’ve had those croissants in my hands if I were to say something, or if she were to say something. Or better yet, if that tall guy was never to have shown up. This is just brilliant, just what I needed.

I tried my best to look annoyed, since it was pretty early and I was losing my nerves by the second. I scratched my forehead, rubbed my eyes and sighed as to show how much I love when these things happen to me.

“Is there going to be another batch soon?” I ask.

“Maybe in 15-20 minutes.” She said.

I couldn’t wait for that one even if I wasn’t busy or had an exam afterwards.

“Never mind. I’ll just have the donut and that one cheese croissant.” I said eventually.

“Sure. Anything else?”

Now that I was alone, I took my time to think and to see what was there left to take home and eat. I bought three cheese rolls. I love cheese.

But what fucking pissed me off is that when I would to get home, Victor is gonna be all over me for not being there on time, so that he could get his precious croissants.

I thanked her and walked out. It was still snowing. I kept thinking about that tall guy. If I were to be in a better mood, I’m sure it wouldn’t bother me as much as it’s bothering me now. I’d let him get in front of me, I’d smile at him and say that it doesn’t matter, that it was my pleasure, I’d look back at him and everyone would be happy. But no, it had to go this way. This is how Jules acts when she’s in PMS. I don’t know what my excuse was for this behavior.

This was the last thing I needed before the exam.

Victor and Jules were already awake when I got back. I heard them talking and laughing. The coffee smelled all the way to the front door. I took my shoes off and walked in to join them.

They were sitting around the kitchen counter, Jules was drinking coffee and Victor was putting away dishes from last night.

“Hi…” I said and put the bag down.

“Morning, Tim.” Jules said and kissed my cheek.

“Good morning, little bro.” Victor turned around and was already diving into the bag.

“They didn’t have the croissants. I only managed to get the one.” I said.

“Why not?”

Honestly, the last thing I needed was him complaining about the guy who cut me in and the fact that I couldn’t wait 20 minutes for another batch.

“Their oven malfunctioned. The lady working there said that it’ll be repaired by tomorrow morning. So I got what resembled our regular pastry.” I was talking as I was taking my jacket off.

“Okay. Coffee?” Victor asked. That went well, maybe I should lie to him more often.

“Um…sure.”

We ate our breakfast, drank coffee, talked about stuff and when we were done, I went back to my room, got ready and left for my exam. I took a subway, and I was going through some questions for the exam while I was riding my way to school. I was nervous as hell. The only thing that would complete the dark circle would be a failed exam. I wasn’t nervous if I would do good or bad, I was nervous about the results, that no matter how hard I’ve studied I’d flunk the exam on a bad Monday morning.

But I shouldn’t be too hard on myself.

Because the exam went great! The results should be ready in two days, but I’m sure I passed. Halfway through the exam I realized how much I’ve already done and I was rather proud of myself. Finally, hope I won’t jinx it, finally something good on Monday happened.

After the exam was done I went home. Actually, I decided to walk the entire way home, even though it was still snowing, and freezing cold, I was feeling good and wanted to walk for a while. I put my headphones on, listened to some music as I was walking back home. It would take me about 20 minutes by foot, I didn’t mind it at all.

I passed by so many familiar faces, the snow was falling down on my face, I was wearing just a hood on from my jacket.

Somewhere close to the apartment, I was craving a cup of coffee. I took a different turn and went to the coffee shop, Mud, that had the best coffee, for me, in the city, and wanted to order one to take it with me. It was full when I got there, but I didn’t mind the wait. I took my phone out, texted my brother and my mom, told them about the exam, and surfed the internet for a while.

I got lost in my music and the surfing, I didn’t even realize if the coffee shop had cleared out, but I knew people were all around me. My music stopped and I turned it off. Now it was just me.

Finally, it was my turn, I got my coffee and was on my way out.

But I got head to head with a familiar surprise. As I opened the door, I came face to face with the tall guy from bakery this morning, who cut me in and who was extremely rude. I almost bumped into his chest because of how tall he was, I didn’t know it was him until I looked up and saw him.

Man, this guy is huuuuge, was what I thought when I looked up at him.

I remembered his smile from my peripheral vision, even though I never saw it for real, I knew it was him. Other than that, there aren’t many tall guys I know that would stop me on my way out of the coffee shop.

And just like that, that little anger from this morning returned.

“Excuse me.” I said, politely, already crucifying him in my head.

“Hello again.” He said, and smiled. Oh, so now he’s polite. He remembers me. Or not. Maybe he’s mistaken me for someone else. But his smile…I remember it very well.

“Hi…again.” I say it back at him, smile and he moves inside for me to get out.

What I noticed is that he had blue eyes, a wide smile, clear skin. He was wearing a dark blue jacker and a black hat. But the voice. His voice. I needed to take the morning in the bakery scene out of my head and process it. I buried it as deep as possible because of how mad I was. Now that I think about it…that voice was something else.

When I got out, I turned around to see if he was looking at me. I could’ve sworn he said hello to me.

He wasn’t looking at me, he stood in line to get his coffee.

I don’t remember ever hearing anybody else with that voice. He was tall, and had a deep voice, so sweet and calming, like I’d let him read me while I fall aslee-…oh, woah, chill, stop, relax. It’s not the time for that, Tim.

This tall guy only had a nice voice. Leave it at that, Tim.

But I couldn’t get the thought of him remembering me out of my head. A total stranger I bumped into in two places in the same day. It made me smile, absentmindedly. I walked slow so that maybe he would caught up with me and…oh my God, what am I doing? What is this? It has been a while, but this way off the charts even for me. He was just a nobody I killed in my head this morning and revived him just about 5 minutes ago. And it flattered that he remembered me, and said “Hello again.” And smiled. He smiled at me.

My thoughts were cut off when my mom called me, and we continued to talk over the phone the entire way back home.

It was around noon when I got home. Jules was off to work, Victor had his afternoon classes, and I was all by myself. I ate something I found in the kitchen, it wasn’t much but I enjoyed it. I checked my schedule for tomorrow, made an imaginary “to do list” in my head and put on studying on top as soon as I rest for a bit. That stranger popped into my head couple of times as I was undressing. He remembered me. And he said “Hello again” and he smiled, my God he smiled.

He smiled this morning as well, and if I wasn’t in a such a bad mood, I’d probably feel less guilty now. Either he knew how pissed he made me feel and smiled, then ran into me again and smiled some more and said “Hello again”. Or, he was just an insensitive jerk who always get his way and doesn’t give a flying fuck if he pisses someone off to get what he wants.

Okay, that was a bit extreme, I must admit. I only saw this guy two times in my life, I’m probably never gonna see him again. And if I do, I doubt he’d remember me, there’s nothing significantly appealing on me than on the next guy on the street. I’m just a young, high school boy, nothing else. There’s nothing for him to remember me by. I stopped the process of overthinking when I realized I was incapable of holding my eye lids upwards. I fell asleep as soon as I crushed on my bed. I woke up around 3 pm when I heard Jules come home. Few hours later, after we chilled a bit and ate some lunch she brought home, Victor came back home as well. It was just the three of us again, just like it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is coming soon.   
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars✨


	2. Ghost spots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's hell week continues. But it's not all so dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii peeps! Here is the second chapter, i've written in the comments of the previous chapter how excited i am about this story. i couldn't wait to post it and so here it is. Let me know your thoughts in the comments, and enjoy!

On Tuesday I woke up before my alarm, again. This time, I set it up for 9 am, and I woke up at 7:30 am. Again? Really? But the big difference between Monday morning and Tuesday morning, is that that I wasn’t feeling like shit like the day before. Now, I felt well rested and didn’t feel like sleeping again. These two are about to wake up, and it was my duty to go out and get us breakfast.

After two hours of studying last night, I went straight to bed.

It was extremely warm in my room, and for me was like a freaking sauna, because I sleep with three pillows, two covers and a blanket. Underneath it all, I sleep in a shirt and pair of pajama bottoms, no socks. I don’t get people who sleep with their socks on, I’d die from heat. I only sleep in socks when I’m sick.

I got up and went to check if I’m the only one up. I wasn’t; Jules was in the kitchen, typing something on her laptop.

“Good morning.” I said and smiled.

She looked up from her laptop.

“Oh, hi. Good morning. You’re up early.” She said.

“Yeah. I woke up an hour and a half before my alarm. But I’m not taking my infamous nap, though.” I told her while I was making my way to sit opposite her on the counter.

“You think you can resist the nap?” She joked.

“I’ll try.”

I smiled back at her.

“Why are you up so early?” I ask her.

“Oh, couldn’t sleep. Your brother snores.”

“Ew.” I frown.

“Imagine how I’m feeling. I pushed him and punched him and pinched him…nothing. It’s like sleeping next to a horse. If he wasn’t snoring, I’d think he’d dead.”

She thought for a second.

“Actually, I’d always pick a pony over your brother.” She said.

“By the way, I always wanted a pony, so if you want to trade one for the other…”

We stare at each other, raising eyebrows and in the end we burst out laughing. We’re not quiet, Victor sleeps like he’s dead to the world.

“This just means you need to get used to it. This is your whole life afterwards.” I said with a smile.

She’s silent. Maybe I’ve hit something I shouldn’t have. Is there even gonna be “their whole life”?

She smiles, but it’s genuine. I doubt I hit anything, maybe I’ve just reminded her what a wonderful life she’s gonna have with my brother.

“In that case…I want my wedding present to be ear plugs. From you.” She points her finger at me. I’m relieved. We’re good.

“Got it!”

“Coffee?” She asked me as she was getting up, she had a cup next to her.

“Oh, um…not now, thanks. I was thinking about running to the bakery.”

And then it hit me. The guy. The tall guy from yesterday. The tall guy who I ran into twice in one day, 5 hours apart. He said “Hello again” and smiled at me. That guy…What if he’s there. He was there around this time yesterday morning. Or maybe he just went there only once. But what if he’s there? Will he remember me again? These thoughts weren’t foreign to me, neither were the feelings. Why am I rushing to see a complete stranger just because he smiled at me?

“Oh, you want me to go? I can go, it’s not a problem.” She suggested.

“No, no, no, you sit here, do your stuff, I’ll go.” I said getting up and already making my way to go and get ready before she jumps in before me. No way am I letting her go. I need to know.

“You sure?”

I nodded.

“Okay. I’ll have the usual.” She said.

“Got it.”

I rush to get ready, as quickly as possible. If there’s a chance I’m gonna run into him again, it needs to happen like right now. He was there at this time yesterday morning. But what are the chances he’ll be there, or even if he’s there, what are the chances he’ll remember me? I washed my face, put my clothes on and got out of my room.

“I’ll be back in a few.” I popped into the kitchen to let her know.

“Okay.”

Jules was already deep in her typing when I left.

It was still snowing outside, but it was not as cold as it was yesterday. I walk to the bakery in my natural way; listening to music play through my headphones, with my head shoved into the jacket. Just as I was about to walk in, I blinked a few times and squeezed my eyes to remember the real reason why I was there in the first place. I need to feed the family, not see if a guy would remember me. Why would I even care if he does? Or doesn’t? What do I get out of it? What can I do with that after all? If he’s there, and if he remembers me, then what? I don’t know. Should we leave it that or deepen this…acquaintance? And if he’s there, and if he remembers me, and he does nothing, and I do nothing? What if he’s mistaken me for someone else? What if he forgets about me…okay, slow down, Tim, you’re getting way ahead of yourself. This is too much, even for you. Let’s just relax, and breathe. It doesn’t mean anything.

I open the door of the bakery and take one step inside of the warm place.

_But what if it means everything?_

Shut up.

As usual, there was a line. Three people before me and two more walked behind me but none of them was him. I looked around to see if maybe he changed his dark blue jacket and a black hat. I looked over at the part of the bakery where people can sit and eat, 2 tables were empty and 3 were taken, none by him. I tried to measure the height of all the customers and compare them to his, but nothing, they were all either my size or shorter than me.

Don’t bite your lips off, Tim…breathe.

He’s not here. Maybe I’ve missed him. Maybe he already came in, cut another guy in, smiled at him and now they’re living happily ever after. Or maybe he won’t show up anymore, ever again. Maybe yesterday was a one time only thing, maybe he was really in a rush and needed to steal those cheese croissants from me and go somewhere else. Maybe, maybe, maybe…why am I doing this to myself? Because of some random ass guy smiling at me and saying “Hello again”, it wasn’t worth it. Was it?

Someone walked in and my heart stopped when I rushed to turn around and see who it was. It was a girl, a young girl. Sikes. Get it together, Chalamet! This is not worth it. Any guy can smile at me and I would react the same way, he’s not special. Would I though? Is he though? It’s been a while, maybe that’s the reason; I fall for the first guy that smiles at me and puff, I’m a goner. I’m rushing, this is too fast. I’m desperate and pathetic. And dramatic. Over the top dramatic.

Finally, it’s my turn and this time, they have the cheese croissants. I get them and Jules’ donut and, as she was putting it in the bag, I turn around once more to see if maybe he’s there, or just passing by. Nothing. Fuck.

I pay up and was on my way. But not so fast. Not so fucking fast, Tim.

I glance over on my left and I saw him. I felt butterflies inside immediately.

He was sitting at a table that was empty maybe 5 minutes ago. He was probably in the bathroom. Now, he’s sitting there, talking on his phone and eating…you guessed it…three cheese croissants. He munched down one in 5 seconds. One of his bites meant taking 90% of the pastry. The tall guy wasn’t looking anywhere else except his plate, he seemed to be maybe annoyed by the person on the other end of the phone because I never saw him smile or laugh or saw his face go soft, no facial expressions, he looked annoyed and ate out of anger. He was alone. The dark blue jacket and hat were sitting on a chair beside him.

It may have felt like I was staring at a tall stranger that smiled at me twice the previous day and said “Hello again” for minutes, when in reality, it was only few seconds. When a person wants to absorb everything from another person’s appearance, they take a good look at everything and it only lasts 5 seconds. My brain was dying to find out as many details as possible. My brain, or my heart?

I noticed he had a somewhat long hair, it looked soft and like it needed to be combed through by someone’s fingers. Long eye lashes, maybe some light eyes, maybe green or blue, they were blue yesterday, maybe he was one of those people whose eyes change colors in light. His phone looked awfully small for his, I guess, huge hands.

Yup, this is me, analyzing a complete stranger I met yesterday, only because I felt good after he smiled at me.

Should I ruin this now or later? Should I ask myself if he came here hoping he’d see me, that is, if he even remembers me? Should I ask myself that he was here by accident? Should I think some more or just leave? This was my chance, if I wanted something more from a stranger. I can’t do this. it’s way too much pressure for me. I should just leave and forget this accidental incident.

But just as I was about to turn around and walk out for good and try so hard to forget him and this scenario, he looked up and locked his eyes with mine. He stopped talking, and eating and blinking. I couldn’t move, I took a breath but never exhaled it. We’re now staring at each other. He has blue eyes, for sure. From a distance of less than two meters, I noticed his blue eyes, and my God, they were like daggers. Soon, very soon, his face softened and he smiled, with teeth when he realized where and who was I staring at. I don’t know what’s happening to my face but I might’ve softened as well. His face softened even more and he smiled at me again. And then he winked at me.

He winked at me.

Did he just…wink at me?

For real?

A wink…

The tall stranger winked at me.

What is happening to my legs? Am I choking on my own breath? What is this sorcery? A simple eye movement made me forget about…everything.

He remembered me. He fucking remembered me. Or maybe he winked at somebody else behind me. I’ll check after I come to my senses. Am I blushing? On top of it all, I’m blushing. It’s so hot in the bakery. Must be from all the ovens that are working…in the back of the bakery…Fuck. Get it together. Do something in return. It seemed like I was having an argument with myself for 10 minutes, not 3 seconds.

I can’t wink back, that’s stupid. I just gave a quick wave and I turn around and leave. I see no one behind me, so he definitely winked at me.

Coward.

Pussy.

I ran off too quickly. I seriously couldn’t have gotten out of there quicker. The tall stranger must feel like shit right now. Just like yesterday, when he smiled at me and all I did was roll my eyes and avoided looking at him. Now, he smiled again and winked at me and I rushed outside.

I got out and slammed my back against the wall, clenched onto the bag with food for dear life. Breathe, breathe, breathe…

I haven’t felt like this in a long time, when I’d make a big fuss over nothing. This is not nothing. It can’t be nothing. It’s good. It feels good. It felt good when he smiled, and said “Hello again”, and when he smiled and winked at me. It all made me feel so good. My legs regained some function back and I was calm. I ran out of the bakery like a fucking coward. I must’ve made him feel so uncomfortable. The next time he sees me, he’s gonna ghost me out, I swear…that is, if we ever meet again.

The doors of the bakery opened up and before I could see who walked out, I turned around and went home. I’d die if I were to see him again.

I was way over my head on my way back, I couldn’t listen to music, all I did was…I replayed the scenario when he softened his face, even though he looked pissed a moment before, smiled at me and winked.

Who the fuck winks anymore? Everybody. Everybody when they want to show some interest in a person. And he did that. Wait, he did that with me? With me? Me? Come on…you gotta be kidding me. What am I? I’m nothing to this guy. Just some person he cut in line at a bakery, someone who bumped into him at a coffee shop, all in the same day, and now…someone who waved and ran off. Yeah, that’s it. That’s about it. Now that’s fucked up. I hate myself. I could’ve winked back or approach him and introduce myself or sit down and start up a conversation with him, or say hi and then leave. Fuck, I hate myself. This is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life. The regret of not doing anything about it. For not making the next move because he already made the first move. I just know all these thoughts are gonna come after me when I lie in bed tonight. I hate this. I hate this so much.

Okay, stop, what a drama queen.

This could be a good thing, maybe. Maybe this is what I need. I’ve been so stressed because of all the exams that are coming the next couple of weeks, I have one tomorrow and I just remembered I need to study after I come home in the afternoon. This Is what I needed, to take a break and focus on something else, even if that means it’s something ridiculous like this, but at least I’m wasting my brain cells on something else. I’m gonna do good, I know I will, I just need a distraction while I’m waiting for the results. I never had any troubles with school, I was always a good student.

I got home and Victor was already up. He was happy to see his cheese croissants.

“They fixed the ovens?” He asked, sounding very excited.

“Huh?” I was caught off guard.

“The ovens weren’t working…that’s what you said yesterday.”

“Oh, right, right. Yeah, they fixed it. This is the freshest you’ll find anywhere close home.”

All three of us ate, drank coffee and then I sat down and made notes on what I have to study when and how much and the dates of the exams. It wasn’t much, but I’ll make it, I always do.

Tomorrow morning I have another one at 9 am. But before that, I’m gonna have a little stop in the neighborhood and check something. Just to see if there’s something in it for me.

After that, I got ready and left on a subway to go to my class. I’ve put on my headphones and was on the internet the entire ride to school.

But then it got to me, oh so suddenly. What if this is the Universe talking to me? I believe in that shit, I’m a die hard believer. I’ve seen him twice by now, two days in a row, maybe tomorrow morning will be the number three, lucky number three, I should take all of this as a sign, a good sign. Maybe now finally, after so many shitty relationships, if that’s what I can call them, I will finally have the break I’ve been asking for.

If it’s the Universe, then all of these “meetings” are not a coincidence, nor have I run into him by accident. It means that there’s a force, outside of this planet, so strong big, bigger and stronger than me, stronger than anything else, and it wants us together. Maybe as friends, maybe as something more than friends. But the Universe is like a magnet, it will pull two people together until they’re fully connected. There isn’t a thing you can do or say that the Universe will take it as “Oh, I’ll leave you alone then, if you don’t want to.” No. It works on its own and it’s gonna end like the Universe says. That’s why in the end, If we become friends, or something more than friends, I won’t say, “It was destiny”, I’ll say, “It was the random luck of the Universe.”

Either it’s that or it’s just my crazy imagination.

I’ll have to see tomorrow morning, then. Until then…I have other stuff I need to think about.

I came home around 1pm, ate some lunch, took a 2 hour long nap and woke up to find myself completely alone in the apartment. Victor texted me, they went out with his friends. I had the entire place to myself. I could’ve called my buddies to hang out with but instead, I focused on the exam and studying. I wanted to finish it as soon as possible so I could chill later on.

After I’ve finished studying, I wrote down the entire situation. Yes, I wrote it. It’s weird, I’m weird. I couldn’t get him out of my head. The cutting in line, the smile, the “Hello again”, the smile, the soft face and his blue eyes, and the wink. The fucking wink! What am I even doing? I don’t know what I’m doing, but it’s addictive, and I like it. I’m addicted to the drama and for making stuff up. I finally understand why my mom used to call me a little liar, and maybe this is why I can lie so well. I wrote it down, it can mean only three things:

1.He likes me, that’s why he smiled and winked

2.He’s just being nice, and is still trying to make up for yesterday morning, for cutting in front of me and taking my food, maybe he doesn’t know about the food, but I’m still mad because of that

3.It can mean absolutely nothing.

I will never know.

_But what if he’s just a ghost and haunts all my favorite bakeries and coffee shops because he’s just lost, hungry and thirsty._

Really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is coming soon.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars✨


	3. Stalling time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's week continues. Let's see if day number three brings something good for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter! I'm moving the story and the plot rather quickly but i don't want to waste anymore time, i need to get to the good stuff.  
> I am amazed by all of yours responses on this fanfic. I love how you think it's fun and funny and entertaining which was my goal here. I am working on other chapters at the same time and i can't wait to post them all. Enjoy this one and let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> P.S. Good news! I finished my internship in the ER, it was hectic and stressful but i survived, and as much as they say that's the worst part of the hospital, i have to admit, i had a lot of fun, i learned so many things, met such great people to work with etc. The worst part is done. Tomorrow, I'm headed to the ICU where i'll be for the next 4 weeks. They say that ICU is easier than the ER and there's much more room to learn and to grow as a nurse, so we'll see

On Wednesday, I woke up half an hour before my alarm, again. And this time, it didn’t bother me at all. It didn’t bother me that it was still pitch black outside, that it was cold outside, that it was snowing, that I was probably the only one who was awake in the apartment. I decided to take this as a sign from the Universe. I woke up twice before the alarm and saw the tall stranger, also twice. This is gonna be a good day, I just know it. It wasn’t even 7 am. Because it was still early and I didn’t hear anything outside of my room, I stayed in bed for the next 10 minutes and just surfed the internet.

I felt good. I knew I was gonna pass the exam I had on Monday, I knew I was gonna do good on the next exam that was in 2 hours, I knew I was gonna meet the tall stranger again. I knew all of this because I had a good feeling, and I’m never wrong. Except for the part where I already killed him and revived him in my head because he went from a rude jerk to a tall stranger that smiled at me within 5 hours. Let’s see I’m right about today.

The fact that I ran off yesterday after he winked at me, and after I ran off like a coward, had nothing to do with following the rules of the Universe. There was this sort of contact, even if it wasn’t a physical one, we still noticed each other, that’s when the force bigger and stronger than anything on the planet comes in and plays its part.

Ten minutes later, I got dressed, went to the bathroom and then chilled some time in the living room, flipping the channels on the TV, just to make the time pass. I made a note in my head to leave at 7:20, like I did the previous two days. It takes me 5 minutes to the bakery and I’ll have to wait an extra 10 minutes, give or take, for him to show up.

I’m counting on you Universe!

Somewhere around 5 minutes to 7, Victor woke up. I heard him go to the bathroom. After that he went to the kitchen, didn’t even notice me.

“Good morning.”

“Sweet Jesus, Tim. You scared the shit out of me!” He held his chest like he was having a heart attack.

“Sorry.” I chuckled.

“Jesus…what are you doing up so early.”

He asked and continued to take out three mugs to make us all coffee.

“I woke up before my alarm. Couldn’t sleep.”

“You’ll get back to your nap soon, I’m sure of it.” He made a joke and smiled.

“I’ll try not to. I didn’t do that yesterday.”

“Yeah, Jules told me you managed to resist your holy nap.”

My holy morning nap became a thing, apparently. I loved when they joked about me together.

“When did you guys come back last night? I went to bed around 1.” I asked him

“I think it was around…3 maybe. I don’t know, I can’t remember.” Victor looked like he didn’t need to be reminded about it. He rubbed his nose and his eyes.

“Good party, huh?” I smiled and raised my eyebrows.

“Very good.”

He nodded, drinking oh so much water.

“So what’s up with you?” He asked.

“Nothing. I have an exam later.”

“Are you ready?”

“Always.” I smiled widely.

“I never doubt that.”

The coffee maker started working and we stopped talking.

“I’ll go to the bakery soon.” I said.

“Okay. You want coffee?”

I still had 20 minutes on my hands.

“Sure.”

So we drank coffee and talked. We talked about his work, his school, my school, my friends, mom, Jules, he still looks smitten with her like he was when they met, something funny that had happened like millions of eons ago. I was dying to tell him about the tall stranger I keep on running into for the past two days, and I will soon enough, in couple of minutes.

“So, what’s up with you? Is there any girl you like?”

He looked at me. He hesitated with his next question.

“Or…a guy?”

I never actually came out to Victor about liking guys for real. Last year, I was in a sort of relationship with this guy, Miles. It was semi-serious. We went the whole way but it didn’t work out because, after sleeping with me, he realized he doesn’t like guys anymore. Either I was a bad laid, or he was embarrassed by the fact that he slept with a guy. Who knows? It was a bad experience and I don’t need a reminder. It was both of our first time. First time we admitted to liking someone the same sex as us, first kiss with a guy, first joined masturbation, first time we ever slept with a guy, or, basically, did anything with a guy. He graduated the next semester and I never had any contact with him ever again. Never heard of him ever since. And that’s good. Everyone knew about it and they had my back. They said it was just a phase and that it’ll pass. I believed them but despite ending the way it did, I never shook the thought out of my head that it felt so good. I’ve had girlfriends before, I lost my virginity couple of months before I met Miles, I only slept with that one girl. But I’ve had relationships with girls without sex since I was 16. The longest one lasted 6 months and we never had sex. The one I slept with, I was with her for a month and that one lasted for 4 months. With Miles, it lasted a total of 34 days. But that one had a massive impact on me. It didn’t matter that he was a guy, it mattered that I liked him very much and that I felt so special while we were a thing. No one in school knew about it and that was a good thing. After him, I never made any fuss about if I was with a girl or a boy. I’ve had hook-ups, before and after him, but he was the last person I slept with and it’s been months.

And now I was sort of back in the game. And I liked it. Very much.

“No, nothing.” I answered.

He nodded.

“Smart. School first, love second.”

I looked at my phone as I was putting away the mug in the sink. It was 07:19. I have to go!

“I’m off now.” I told him and rushed to get the cash and to put a jacket and my shoes on.

“See ya in a bit, little bro!’

I almost slipped when I ran down the stairs and into the cold Wednesday morning. It’s still snowing, I still can’t see straight. I play my music and head to the bakery.

I was there within 3 minutes, I was really rushing.

I took a deep breath when I grabbed the door handle. This is it. this is happening. Now. Come on, Universe!

The bakery was warm and there were four people in front of me. Perfect. One lady walked in after me, no sign of him. I looked over at the tables. Some were taken but not by him, some were empty but had no plates or dark blue jackets hanging off of them. He’s really not here. I feel a little bad, but there’s still time. Another person walks in, not him. I’m nervous by this point. I keep thinking I should make up a story and ask if a tall guy came in and asked about me, I’d say we’re friends and we were suppose to meet up, just to know if he was even here. Or if he was even coming. One person finished and left. And even though I know that’s the person that opened the door and left, I turn around anyway to see if that’s the case or that maybe he was about to walk in and hold the door for the person to get out. I do that the next time as well. I keep turning around to see if he somehow, magically walked in without me knowing about that. I also kept on looking around the bakery to see if he was sitting there, maybe he was sitting with his jacket on, or went to the bathroom with it still on, or maybe wore a different jacket. Nothing. He’s not here, deal with it. Those were the minutes that were tearing me apart. My head was spinning, my heart was pounding and my thoughts were rushing. Come on, Universe! I’m counting on you.

Maybe he really is a ghost.

When the kid in front of me was about to finish, I turn around to the lady behind me.

“Would you like to go first, ma’am?” I ask her with a smile.

“Oh, no, dear, you go first. I’m a retired woman, I have all the time in the world. You’re young, you need to eat. And go to school.” She says and smiles at me.

“I have the time. Please, I insist.”

I move to the side and motion for her to stand in my place instead.

“What a nice young man. Thank you, dear.” She says and takes my place.

“My pleasure.” I said.

I let her cut in front of me. I’m happy to do so. I couldn’t care less about the food. I need to be in the bakery as long as possible so that he can come in and I can see him.

An older gentleman was now behind me. I ask him to cut in line in front of me as well.

“I’m happy to do it, sir.” I said and move to the side again.

“Thank you, child. Stay this nice, and you’ll get far in life.” He says and that made me feel so happy. I knew it was gonna be a good day. I’m a nice guy.

Now there’s two more people in front of me. No one else walked in behind me. If I were to sit down, I’d rock my leg like crazy.

Deal with it. He’s not coming. I’m gonna bite my lip off. Come on, tall stranger, come on.

The lady and the gentleman are done and they leave the bakery, smiling at me and thanking me again. But I still follow them as they leave with my eyes in case he comes in and opens the door for them. Nothing. He’s not coming, deal with it.

Now it’s my turn. I don’t want it to be. Because when I say what I want, I’ll get that in a bag and then it’ll be my time to leave the bakery. But I need to see him.

I ask for four cheese croissants and a raspberry donut. She bags them and hands me the bag. Now, I play stupid and start looking for my money. I always keep my money for the breakfast in the top left pocket, but still, I look all over my jeans and wallet and the other pockets, just to stall the time. Maybe then he’ll walk in. I give up eventually when I noticed what an idiot move it was, the cashier is waiting, she has other business all over the place. I eventually remember, like a fool where I put my money, paid up, apologized to the cashier and this was my que to leave, feeling like shit.

Feeling like shit for stalling and for him not showing up.

Guess this is it, he’s not coming. The Universe failed this time. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe this is what I needed. It made me get back into the game. It made me take some time off inside my head. It made me relieve from stress I had over the exams. It made me feel good, even if it was just for two days. What can you do? Sometimes, things are not supposed to work out. Too bad, life goes on. I’ll meet someone else then, some other time. But I was really counting on the lucky number three. Three days, three times in the same place, I was hoping I’d see that smile another day, at least for the last time, the last day, the third day.

But nothing. Life goes on. I’ll go home, eat, chill, go to school, kick the exam, go back home, maybe hang out with Jules and Victor, or maybe I’ll go out with my friends. On Thursdays I didn’t have class, I’ll chill and move on from this ridiculous two-days phase.

I felt bad but not that bad to whine about it. What can you do?

I thanked the cashier and apologized for taking her time with not finding the money on time again. I walked out into the cold Wednesday morning.

I’m so pissed that I almost screamed when I couldn’t untie my headphones. This is all shit. What was I even thinking about? I felt like crying. I felt like screaming and cursing everything in my life.

I look over to see if I’m blocking the entrance to the bakery. I can’t see shit. It’s showing like crazy.

I go back to untying the headphones.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Someone said to my left.

The voice. The voice that got me…oh my dear God.

I rush to turn and see who it is, but I already know. This tall guy in a dark blue jacket and a black hat stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets. The jacket was opened and he wore a plaid sweater with blue and brown squares on it. He had a mesmerizing smile, the one that would keep a person up at night. My God he was tall, my forehead was up to his nose. Suddenly, it felt like the whole world stopped, the time stopped, the snow stopped, the cold weather stopped. It was like this was my one and only chance to make the best of it. Don’t screw this up, kid.

I put my head phones back into the pocket and turned to face him completely.

“Oh, it’s you…I mean, hi.” Fuck, Tim, fuck, fuck, fuck…are you fucking insane?!

I bit my tongue as soon as I heard those stupid words come out of my stupid mouth.

“Hi…again…” He smiled and said. That voice…I somehow forgot about the voice, but I remembered the smile, the wink and the words, “Hello again”.

“Yeah, again.” I nod and smile, I’m blushing, it’s so hot now. How do I continue this?

“I thought, third day…it must be a sign.” He said.

OH MY GOD, THE SIGN, he saw this as a sign too. This is a fucking sign. I wanted to scream out of joy and tell him that I agree that it was a sign. But more importantly, he remembered me.

“Well, when you put it like that…” I start but don’t finish. I clear my throat. Now you do that?

“Instead of running into each other like this for half a week and instead of playing chicken and act all shy and mighty, how about we grab something to eat in here? Since, this is where we’ve been meeting up. accidentally.”

I’m blocked. Did he just said we should sit inside, eat and talk? In the place where we’ve been meeting for the past three days? Can someone punch me, pull my hear, splash me with water, because I think I’m dreaming. Is he a ghost? What is happening? Can he read my mind for the past two days?

I wanted to scream yes, of course I want to sit and talk, and look into those blue eyes and listen to him talk about everything and anything. But I can’t. Fucking Victor and his stupid cheese croissants. Jules wouldn’t mind not getting her donut but Victor…

“Shit, I can’t now, sorry. I already bought my breakfast. And my brother is waiting for me to come home so he can eat it.” I said, I tried to look sorry and bad and down, because that’s how I actually felt.

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

“Plus, I have an exam in like an hour.”

“Well, don’t just stand here, go. Study.” He takes one hand out of the pocket and points to the direction where I came from, as to send me home to study. Honestly, tall stranger, I’d stay on this street, on his cold morning, with you, all day.

“I’m already prepared. But I’ll look over it one more time.” I smile at him.

He looks impressed.

“How about tomorrow?” He suggests. Is this really happening? I’m now more confused than excited.

“Tomorrow?”

He nods.

“Yeah, sure. I’m free tomorrow.” I’m free the entire day for you, tall stranger.

“Okay, then it’s a deal. Can you come here around…8?” He asks. This guy doesn’t stop smiling at me the entire time. I don’t know what I look like, probably a mess, I’m blushing and I’m nervous, stuttering.

“Will there be any food left by 8? Any good food I mean.” I joke and smile.

“Oh, shit. You’re right. Okay, then 07:30?”

“Yeah.” I nod.

“It’s not too early for you?”

“No, no, I’m used to getting up early.”

“Me too.”

Pause. We smile at each other. I’m waiting for him to say something. Or maybe he’s waiting for me to say something, but my mind is a blank space now. I wouldn’t even know what date it was if someone were to ask me.

“Now, it’s a deal then.” He smiles widely at me, his eyes are shining. Oh my God. I’m not crazy!

“Yup.”

“I’m Armie, by the way.” He says and extends his right arm. Armie. Armie….Aaaar-meeeh.

“Timothée.” I shake his hand and say my full name.

“Nice to mee you, Timothée.”

“Nice to meet you too, Armie. Finally.”

I’m feeling a bit cocky now, of course, when I add finally at the end. Because I’m not crazy, and he remembered me, and he saw this as a sign as well. And because he’s unbelievably handsome, and has a beautiful smile. And has soft hands. Long fingers, very long.

I’m having dirty thoughts about those long fingers. No, not now, Tim. Later, tonight. No, stop it. You just met him. But it can’t hurt, can it?

“Finally. Exactly.”

We break the handshake and just stand there. I don’t want this conversation to end.

“I’ll see you tomorrow here at 07:30, then.”

But we’ll have plenty of time tomorrow morning.

“I’ll be here.” I said. I’m already backing away, I’m already on my way home.

“Bye. Good luck on your exam!”

“Thank you so much. See ya tomorrow!”

“Later!” He said and walked into the bakery still smiling at me. Now I’m smiling too.

Thank you, Universe!

I haven’t stopped smiling the entire way back home. No music was played, I didn’t care about the cold weather, the snow or the crowd on the street. All I thought about was him, Armie. Armie. That’s short for something. I’ll ask him tomorrow morning. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Third day, third time we ran into each other, at the same place, around the same time. And he noticed it too.

I ran home because I’m on cloud 9. I’m smiling like crazy. Jules and Victor are waiting for me, plates and cups were already up. Something is beaming inside of me as I rush to hug and kiss Jules good morning. I knew it was gonna be a good day, I just knew it.

“What took you so long?” Victor asked.

“Crowd.” I answered with a smile.

They noticed I was happy and smiling, but didn’t say anything.

We ate our breakfast as usual, these two drank coffee and I went to my room and got ready for the exam. On a subway, I look over it once more, like I promised Armie.

Again, I kicked this exam as well, the results are gonna be on Friday. The one I had on Monday, I passed, like I knew I would.

I got back home, had lunch and, because of all the excitement I couldn’t sleep, I spent the rest of the day in bed, watching movies. Around 7pm, Jules and Victor left for another party, and I was left alone. All by myself, to think about what happened this morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all know what's he gonna do 😏  
> Next chapter is coming soon.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars, it's been flagged as explicit by mistake but i'm still there.🌚


	4. Pick a fantasy, any fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy takes some time for himself and enjoys it very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy kittens! Here's the next chapter, it's short but i really hope you'll like it. I wrote this one maybe about a week ago and i completely forgot what and how i unfolded the story next, imagine my shock, it was like these weren't my words. I must say i'm stunned by the response to this story, you all are awesome! Let me know what you think of this one in the comments and enjoy!!  
> Today was my first day in the ICU and yes, it is easier than the ER, at least that's how i can sum up the first day. I guess because everyone kept saying that the ER is so horrible and stressful that everything after that should be smooth sailing, but i absolutely loved the ER, it was awesome and i've learned so much. The only issue i have is that the shift starts at 06:30 am so i have to wake up at 5 am. Maybe i just need time to get used to it. We'll see.

After they left, I finished my movie and got up to grab something to eat. All of a sudden, I was nervous. Nervous about tomorrow morning. Now that it was here, now that it was real, I felt nauseous and nervous, almost to the point where it was stressful. I only ate very little, I couldn’t, it was too much for me. The anxiety overpowered me quickly. My palms were sweating, I rarely ever get nervous when it’s about someone I like, I’m so different than all the young ones when love comes to question. But now, I’m a mess, I’m shaking in the kitchen as I nibble on a single potato chip, eating like an ant. It’s okay to be nervous, it’s okay to be afraid to mess up and chase him away. But I don’t know this guy and yet I’m feeling like we’re gonna get married or something, it’s stupid. Something about him…I want him, and I can see in my eyes that he wants me as well. And he also saw this as a sign. In less than 12 hours I’m gonna sit opposite him, eat my breakfast and I’ll get to know him better. And that’s only because we both shared the opinion that meeting and, somehow, interacting four times in three days must absolutely mean something.

I put the bag of chips down, went to the bathroom and I got back into my bed, put the covers on me and just browsed the internet. I don’t know what I’m looking for but I’m gonna find it, until my mind gets tired and I fall asleep. Tomorrow is my one day off in the week. Today was a good day, I knew it was going to be. I set an alarm for 06:30, but I already had the feeling I would wake up before it starts ringing.

It was night, I had nothing to do for tomorrow, except for meeting up with Armie in the morning, I was alone and, judging by their pattern of coming home late, I would be alone for hours and I had an entire day filled with mixed feelings, joy and excitement behind me. That should not go to waste. I took my chance and removed my pajama bottoms and my boxers. I was half naked. I removed all the things from my bed so that I would have the room, grabbed a box of wet wipes, just in case I make it to the end and pushed a hand underneath the covers. This won’t hurt anybody. It would be a terrible shame if I don’t vent for just a little bit. It was a good day, let’s end it in a great way.

I pushed a hand down and grabbed my cock. Immediately, I close my eyes, lick my lips and just go for it.

I never do this on my own, I’d always play a porn clip I’d find online just to get myself started. This was the first time I would try to do it on my own, from my head.

Pick a fantasy, any fantasy.

I see his blue eyes and a soft face, beautiful smile and those long, long fingers…and I’m on my way. Oh to feel those fingers anywhere near me, on me, inside of me, God I hope I would be lucky enough to have those fingers in my life for real. I sigh out loud and start stroking myself. The palm is cold and I’m sensitive to the thought of him next to me in bed, or between my legs, or above me while I’m pleasuring him. Yes, I am that dirty minded.

Pick a fantasy, any fantasy and just follow it.

The last one.

I’m dying to know what his body looks like. I picture him being a perfect Greek God; muscles, skin, flawless skin, hairy arms and legs, hairy base of his penis, hairy chest…

Pick a fantasy.

Okay, here we go. I feel so horny, I don’t hesitate when he appears in my fantasy.

Armie sneaks into my room one night. I’m sleeping. He closes and locks the door and removes his dark blue jacket and his black hat.

I wake up when I see him.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him as I sit in my bed.

“Looking for you.”

“I’m here.”

“I need you to do something for me.” He says and goes for the belt.

I can see that he has a boner through his pants. My lips water, I lick to stop it and moan, because I bet that gets him off faster.

We’re in my room, he removes the covers from me and gives me a hand to get out. He undresses me, but that’s not what’s important here. I undress him, he’s quiet, he’s not saying anything, good, I need him to be quiet. He can’t be a virgin, it would be cruel to keep those delicious fingers to himself, instead, he should be breaching every young guy that gets in his way. I’m now one of them. I’m gonna get those fingers through me, I swear to God. Okay, maybe not bring God right now, it’s still early.

Pick any fantasy and just follow it.

I’m still stroking myself as I undress him completely in my head. Soon, he’s naked in front of me, he looks nervous but his face is shining, he’s glowing even before I touched him. I reveal his cock. It’s big. I couldn’t imagine it any differently, he’s a tall guy with huge hands; he needs big hands for the big tool. My toes are curling up as I follow my imagination of looking at his big cock. I can’t wait to choke on it. Soon, Armie, soon.

It’s dark in the room, except for the bedside lamp that has been turn on ever since I turned it on when he walked into my bedroom.

I kneel in front of him and come face to face with his cock. His hand instantly gets lost in my curls, I like that. I caress his thighs, touch the hair on it and look up. He’s breathing heavily, licking his lips, in my head he’s experienced and it is not his first time a young guy kneeled for him and sucked the life out of his body. It would be a true crime if I show up as unexperienced. I’ve only ever sucked one cock before in my life, and I did that many times.

I’m stroking faster, eyes still closed, toes curling up. I’m tugging my own hair.

“You hungry, baby?” He whispers and sticks a finger in my mouth.

“Yes I am, daddy. Very much.” I moan around it.

Stroking faster. Fuck, I’m nasty! It turns me on so much.

“See what I have here for you?” He eyes his cock, spreading my saliva around my chin and lips.

“Mhm…”

“Well don’t just sit there. Suck. Now.” He says, directly.

“Yes sir.”

I start to leak when I swallow his cock in my imagination. He tastes sweet and I love the skin, I lick it, kiss it, smell it. He’s everything I’ve been dreaming of. I start sucking him, his hand in my hair is controlling my speed. But my God, he’s huge.

I’m still leaking. I can’t come yet. Not yet. I need this to last.

I’m here to help him come. No problem.

“Oh, fuck baby! You’re such a good boy!” He already starts moaning and grunting at the same time.

I leak some more and slow down the speed.

“Just like that!”

He’s a mess.

“Oh, daddy loves your mouth.”

In my head, he’s a talker during sex, and a dirty one.

“No one can know about this, okay?”

I nod.

“Yes daddy!” I pull out and stroke him fast, trying to suck in all the saliva I’ve let down my chin.

“Yeah, just like that. Let daddy feed you with his cock!”

He’s looking down at me while I’m working my mouth to help him ejaculate faster.

I speed up again.

“I love your fucking mouth!”

He holds my head in place and starts pounding in my mouth, he’s fucking my mouth and now I’m drooling all over my shirt. There are all sorts of noises that leave my mouth, he loves it and is proud of it and makes his cock pulse in my mouth.

“You’re such a good boy, princess, just like that. Daddy’s proud of you boy!”

I pull out to breathe and lick his entire cock.

“Yeah, baby, take it. Make daddy proud!”

My God, what a sick and twisted mind I have!

“Oh! You’re loving it! What a dirty little slut! Fuck!”

“I am a slut, daddy!”

“Yes you are! Just like daddy likes it!”

He pounds inside my mouth again and again, tugging my curls, keeping my head still, and that’s when I feel the warmth inside my abdomen gather up. My legs are shaking, muscles twitching, and I rush into my head and imagine him jerk off above me into my mouth, I lick it all, and in reality, I come all over my shirt. I choked on my breath and moaned as loud as I could.

We came at the same time Armie.

I stay in that position for couple of minutes. It’s like I was getting over a seizure.

I open my eyes to find myself in my room, in my bed, feeling the warm liquid spread on my stomach. Fuck, I need to change the sheets, and my pillowcase, and my shirt. I’m a sweating mess. I can’t believe I just did that. I masturbated to a guy I’ve known for 10 minutes in total. How am I gonna look him in the eyes tomorrow morning? Will I be able to get the image of him calling me a slut and asking to suck his cock and coming inside my mouth, out of my head when I look into his blue eyes? I don’t know, I’ll try. But that was hot. Apparently, I do have a kink, but I don’t know where it came from. I guess I just like when someone is dominating over me.

It was just what I needed. My mind was blank for what…20 minutes? I didn’t look at the clock. I’m still holding my cock, I’m way too oversensitive to take one last stroke and milk what was left from my dirty imagination. I stayed in bed for some time, trying to put the puzzles together.

I hope I won’t regret what I did in a heat of the moment. I really, really hope I don’t go that far. But it’s completely normal and healthy. Everyone does it. He’s someone I met and with whom I have a…um…date? A breakfast meeting in the morning. Relax, no need to make a fuss about something like this. He doesn’t need to know about this. This will be my little dirty secret. Especially the part about me calling him daddy and suck-…oh God, okay. I need to get up and change the sheets and shower and get ready for bed.

I let go of my cock. It’s limp by now. Few minutes ago, I was very hard, thanks to the tall stranger I keep on running into at the bakery. I uncover myself and realize what a mess I’ve made. This all needs to get washed.

I took the shirt off and I stood naked as the day I came into this world. It wasn’t cold in the apartment, the hotness beaming from the inside of my body and all over the place kept me warm. My cheeks were flushed red, I felt them. Because I was alone, I walked around the room naked as I stripped the sheets down, and threw them in the washing machine. I walked around the apart naked. I felt good. I just had an intense orgasm and I always thought that people around the person who climaxed recently could smell it on the person. Every orgasm brings out an intoxicating scent so that people can smell them and say “Ah, you just had sex.”

Instinctively, I remembered I could smell Miles whenever he’d come. I remember bathing in his scent after we were to have sex, I’d push my face into his neck and inhale those toxins. Right now, I kinda miss it. But not him, or the sex with him, just the act of smelling someone after orgasming. Fingers cross, I don’t mess up with Armie, and I could do that again.

The vibe never lies. I knew he was into guys. My God, I felt so jealous for the guy who took his virginity, or whose virginity Armie held in his heart. I wish I was that guy, and now I wish he was there instead of Miles. I’ll learn all about him in the morning; how old is he, what he does for a living, does he have a brother or a sister, or is he an only child, what movies does he like, does he like to read…and as much as I felt anxious about meeting him in the morning, I was also very excited.

I threw the sheets away and brought out the new ones. I made the bed and jumped into the shower afterwards. It was about time I washed my hair, it’s been three days, but tomorrow morning is a special occasion, it deserves a good scrub. And that’s exactly what I did.

After I cleaned myself up, I put on fresh clothes and new pair of pajamas, and chilled for the rest of the night. I called my mom and talked to her for about an hour and a half. She’s coming to New York soon. In San Francisco is either sunny or it’s raining every other day. After I ended the conversation with her, I went on Instagram and typed “Armie”. Few profiles came up and one of them was a personal one but the icon wasn’t a picture of him. The last name was Hammer, imagine the irony. I just imagined one Armie hammering my throat down with his penis. Or maybe it was him, I just didn’t recognize him. The guy in the icon had a beard, a pair of white sunglasses and a messy hair, in a white shirt. Completely opposite of what I’ve seen on the Armie I kept running into in the bakery and on the street. Now, he’s clean shaved, he wore a black hat and a sweater. Maybe that’s him, maybe not, I didn’t tap the follow button to look desperate. If it was him, imagine what that would make me look like. And if that wasn’t him, then I’d followed some other Armie Hammer on Instagram. Also, to add to the list, I’ll find out his last name in the morning, until then, I did nothing, only to not look so desperate.

But I really wanted to know if that was him and what his life looked like. Relax, you will, soon, in less than 10 hours. I fell asleep in the living room with a TV turned on and with a phone in my hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot what i wrote and while i was editing it, i blushed at my own words.
> 
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	5. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie finally meet up for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello kittens!! I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to post so i'm doing it now. We're moving on with the story and i have so many idea on how to expand the plot into many chapters. Hope you'll like this one. Some or all of the facts are not true, i just picked them from my imagination. Loved the reactions to the last chapter, and to the whole fanfic, thank you so much. Happy Friday, have a nice weekend!!  
> Let me know what you think in the comments and enjoy this chapter!!

“You’re holding my hand.” I say to him as we were sitting across one another.

“You have a problem with that?”

“I don’t. Do you?”

He shakes his head and smiles.

“Armie, we just met and you’re already holding my hand.” I say.

“I’m gonna do something even more than that.”

He intertwined our fingers.

“Are you sure?” I ask him.

“Maybe. I’m gonna be a little late.”

“Late for what?”

“My bus.” He says and lets go of my hand.

I opened my eyes. It was just a dream. It was dark in the room, I forgot to turn on the lamp last night. My phone was charging and when I pressed the button to unlock it, I saw that it was 06:29 am. One minute before the alarm. One minute. But, it continues. This entire week I’ve been waking up before the alarm and look where I am. It started on a Monday which was bad and then good, on Tuesday as well, that’s when I got the wink, Wednesday, my favorite day, and now Thursday. Let’s see how this day goes. I wouldn’t call it superstitious, but if I were to wake up when the alarm went off or a bit late, I’d be dreading about dangers and bad times all day long. It’s like when you change something in your life, and it can go either one way or another, it can be a good day or a bad day. And if it’s a good day, you continue this way, and if it’s a bad day, you stop it immediately. Easy as that.

I turned the alarm off and now, more than ever, I felt extremely tired. I must’ve been exhausted from activities of the previous day. I woke up early, went to the bakery, got both a heart attack and happy news within 5 minutes, then later on, I had an episode where I made a sweet guy, at least I hope he’s a sweet guy, and turned him into this dominant kinky daddy in my head.

He looks so sweet, he can’t be really into that shit. He looks like someone who makes love rather than pound into the partner, like in my mind.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, Jules startled the shit out of me when she woke me up and told me to go and sleep in my own room, and not in the living room. The whole mystery behind the living room couch is that it’s literally the best place to fall asleep on but it’s the worst place to sleep on. I was still hungover from my sleep that I hardly even remember what time it was when she woke me up. I remember murmuring something to her and went back to my own bed and woke up. The thought popped into my mind while I was still hungover, I need to set my alarm. And when I went to set it up, I realized that I already did that, even though I don’t recall doing such a thing. I also, somehow because I don’t remember, reminded myself that I need to charge my phone, I did that as well.

I’m tired. I want to sleep, but I can’t. I need to think about questions I’m gonna ask him to get to know him better, I can’t screw this one up. In my dream, we held hands. God, let it mean something. I don’t want us to stop here, I don’t want one breakfast and that’s it, I need to do good.

What if he doesn’t show up? What if he forgets? Or sleeps in? What if he’s just a jerk, he can look sweet as much as he wants, but it’s not the first time a look can deceive a person. Ted Bundy was a handsome guy, he was intelligent and ladies loved him. Then again, Ted was a serial killer and I really hope Armie is not the same. He’s not. What if he is? He’s not, he’s not.

I get up and walk over to the living room. Nobody’s there, it’s still dark outside. I’m thirsty. Coffee? Nah. I like when someone else is making my coffee. Weird, huh? I pour a glass of water and swallow it in two gulps. My phone rings. It’s mom. I smiled when I saw her name.

“Mom?”

“Good morning, sunshine.” She sounded cheery.

“Hi…you’re up early.”

“My shift starts at 7. What’s up, baby?”

Tell her. She’s your mom. She’ll be happy for you.

“Not much, I’m free today.” I said and drank some more water.

“Today? Honey, it’s not even 7, what are you doing up so early?”

“I forgot to turn my alarm off. And when it rang, I realized I was thirsty and got up to drink something.” Liar. Tell her.

“Oh, baby…how are the exams going? How’s Victor, and Jules?”

“The exams are just flying by, I’m killing it, as always. These two are asleep, they went out last night, God knows when they got back home.”

I pause. She hums.

“What’s new with you?” I ask her to take the attention off me.

“Absolutely nothing. I’m working and working, when I get home I can barely pick up a mop to clean something around the house.”

“Take it easy. There’s no need for stress, especially when your job I stressful enough. Home is the place where you should and must rest.” I tell her.

“My baby boy is very smart.”

“Well, your baby boy needs to go to the bathroom.”

We both laugh.

“Alright honey. We’ll talk soon. Send my loves to Victor and Jules.”

“I will. Take care. Bye mom.”

We kiss over the phone and that was it.

“Bye my love.”

And we hung up. I went to the bathroom and went back to the living room. It was almost 7 am. I turned the TV on and flipped through some channels.

And then I fell asleep.

Panic ran over me when I suddenly opened my eyes and realized that Jules walking around the kitchen woke me up. I unlocked my phone and saw that it was 07:21. I’m panicking. I need to be there in 9 minutes! I threw a good morning at Jules, and rushed to get ready. Fuck, this is not how it was supposed to go. I had it all planned out. My clothes were gently and well settled on the hanger, I packet a wallet and cleaned my shoes and my jacket. And now I don’t have the time to chill before meeting him. I don’t have the time to be anxious about our breakfast meeting. Fuck, I hate this, it was supposed to be slow and smooth, no pressure, no rushing, timing was supposed to be right, but no. It had to go this way, it had to go the worst way possible.

Stop. Think. I don’t have the time to think.

Maybe this is good.

How can it be good?

Maybe because I don’t have the time to overthink, I won’t make up stories and ruin my fantasy with a crazy idea. Yeah, maybe this is it. Less time to think, more time to enjoy.

I got dressed, put everything on like I planned, I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I combed my hair and twisted couple of curls that were in the front of my head, I packet what I needed in a small bag and left.

I got out of the apartment at around 07:27. I got ready in 6 minutes. Good. Now I have 3 minutes to get there. I wish I had his phone number so I could text him and let him know I was late because I feel asleep.

Finally, my long and skinny legs were out of good use, because I was walking faster, trying to breathe normally so I wouldn’t get tired and feel the pain in my stomach afterwards.

Somewhere so close to the bakery, I remembered I forgot to tell Victor or Jules that I either will be late with the breakfast, or that they won’t be getting any at all. I’ll text them later to eat something else, and that I had some stuff do to in the library for the exams.

It was 07:31 when I got there and saw him standing there, looking down at his phone. He really came, I can’t believe I doubted in him at all. But what can I do? Can I really trust a complete stranger?

He wasn’t a stranger in my dream last night.

Or my fantasy in the evening.

Armie turned around to look at me and put his phone away in his pocket when I was a meter away from him. How did I just now remembered what I did last night, and what kind of a role I gave to him in my head? I blushed immediately, praying that he doesn’t notice my red cheeks.

“Hi, sorry I’m late.” I said, still trying to catch my breath. I was smiling. I mean, how could I not? He’s really handsome and he winks at me.

“Heey, one minute, dude. I was beginning to worry If you’d show up.” He joked, he didn’t know I was barely running to meet him, and all the crazy theories I had in my head regarding him and this meeting.

I never even thought how it would look like when we were to meet. Would we shake hands, hug, high five? Shaking hands is a bit to formal. To hug…way too intimate, and I didn’t even know his last name or how old was he. High five? What are we, teenagers? Instead, we did nothing. Maybe that’s for the best. There weren’t any boundaries set so early on in this um…friendship?

“Of course I was coming. I am hungry anyway.”

I wouldn’t miss it for the world, I thought looking around us. I can’t look him in the eyes, it’s still so early and I’m not ready to go there yet.

“Ha! Me too. Let’s go inside.”

I walked in first and he’s right behind me. We said good morning to the cashier. There were empty tables and I just sat on one of the chairs there. Armie was still standing.

“What can I get for you? My treat.” He says. Oh, he’s just…how do I contain myself? I feel special but at the same time…it’s still so early.

“Oh, no, you don’t need to do that, I will…”

“Tell me what can I get for you.” He cuts me off. Man, he’s persistent.

I’m already blushing again, I don’t even know him and yet he wants to waste his money on me. This seems more and more like a real date. When a guy picks up the check. Dude, really…

“Um…two cheese croissants.” I blab in at the end, giving up. I don’t even want to argue now, let him have this one. The fact that I had a fantasy yesterday where he’s dominant and it has to be his way…okay. It’s either his natural habitat where he’s the boss or I’m just weak around this stranger.

“Got it. Coffee?” He said and smiled.

“Will you be having it too?”

“Yup.”

“Okay, then I’ll have a cappuccino.” I eventually say.

“Gotcha.” He winks at me again and goes to order our food.

I touch my cheeks. Yup, my face is probably boiling red. I assume. Again with the wink. I’m losing my shit and we haven’t even started yet.

He came back, carrying two plates and set them at our table. Mine has two, his has three cheese croissants. Big guy, big appetite. Big fingers, big…no. Not yet, get a hold of yourself Tim!

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome. Coffee will be ready soon.”

I nodded. Damnit, how do I get the redness off of my cheeks? It’s annoying.

We start eating. With the edge of my eye I try to stare at him without him noticing me. I didn’t even take the first bite, and he’s already done with his. There’s two more to go. Guess we’ll eat first and then drink coffee, because not only 5 seconds passed since that thought ran through my head that the cashier brough two cups of coffee at our table. We thanked her and continued eating. Total silence. Now I’m worried. We’re not talking. What if that’s the way it should be? Don’t speak while you’re eating, otherwise it’s rude. My mom used to tell us that if we talk with our mouth full, we’ll choke on it. I guess that childhood trauma stayed with me. Although, as I was growing up, I realized that most of the stuff parents used to tell us to scare us were complete bullshit. Some were for our own good. We still had coffee to drink, maybe that’s when we’ll start talking. I catch up to him and as he was finishing his third croissant, so did I with my second and last one.

“That was good…” He mutters, his mouth still very much filled with food as he was swallowing. He’s eating like a caveman, he’s gonna choke.

I only nod and try to swallow as quickly as possible so that we can finally talk and get to know each other. If that’s where we’re headed.

“So, Tim…can I call you that?” He’s the one who began the conversation. Good.

There’s very little eye contact. Or is that just me avoiding his blue eyes so that I don’t get another drive for my evening plans.

“Yeah, yeah. People call me either Tim or Timmy.”

“Timmy…I like that.” He said, and smiled, I looked up just to watch him smile. Red cheeks, hello, it’s been a while.

Was I blushing? What do you think dumbass?

“So, Timmy…I tried to find you on Instagram yesterday, and I failed. I kept typing T-i-m-o-t-h-y, and nothing.”

He did what…quick, react.

“Oh, it’s not Timo-thy, it’s actually T-i-m-o-t-h-e-e, first e is an e with…a line…” I motion with my finger to show him where it was directed.

“Really? I don’t think I ever heard anyone’s name spelled like that. What’s that, French?”

“Yup.” I smile and take a sip of my coffee.

“Who’s French in your family?”

“My mom.”

“Awesome!”

I just smile and move a little on my chair. Maaaan, I feel so good right now.

“And your dad?”

“He’s American but he’s been out of my life for the past decade and more.”

His face softens, voice changes, but he’s not breaking eye contact.

“Oh, sorry.” He says, and drinks his coffee.

“No, it’s okay. My mom is awesome on her own. She’s both my mom and my dad, all at the same time. And my grandparents too, they helped my mom with raising us. He left us a very long time ago. My grandpa is the only sort of father figure I have in my life.” I felt like I could talk to him about my family for hours. And on top of that, I felt like he was really interested in hearing about it.

“That’s really great. A young mom with…two kids? You mentioned your brother yesterday.” Armie asks, squinting his eye as he was trying to guess the sibling.

“Aha. Victor, he’s the older one. By three years.”

He nods and drinks coffee. He drinks it without sugar, where I, pour spoons and spoons of sugar and it’s never enough. When I was younger and made myself a filled cup with tea, I put 8 big spoons of sugar in it. My mom freaked out and told me that if I were to drink all of that I’d get poisoned or get the sugar disease. It was useless for a 10 year old to understand what diabetes is, so she just left it as sugar disease. Now that I think about it, mom lied. Or did she?

“What about you?” I ask him. Now it’s his time to talk.

“I was born and raised and grew up in Los Angeles. I have a younger brother, Ben, he’s 16 months younger than me. He lives In New York as well. My grandpa is Russian, my grandma is from the States.”

I nod after him.

“My parents got divorced when I was 15, but we stayed in contact ever since.” He said.

“That’s good to hear. I mean, too bad for the divorce but you have both of your parents on your side, that’s amazing.”

“Yeah, they’re really fantastic. Now I live alone and so on, and so on…” He’s back at looking at me.

“By the way, how old are you? I can’t put my finger around it…and, and, and you look so young. I mean…I don’t know your number so I can’t really…” I had to ask. I was stuttering and making a fool out of myself.

“I’m 26. You? Wait lemme guess? You’re not a minor, aren’t you?” He chuckled and waited for my answer.

26? Damn, I thought he was younger.

“I’m 18, well, I’ll be 19 on the 27th of December.”

“That’s close, dude.” He mutters as he takes another sip.

“Yup. Two days after Christmas. It has always been an affair when it came to buying gifts for someone who’s born towards the end of the year.”

“Why?” He frowned.

“Because people give you one gift, and say it’s for my birthday and Christmas and sometimes even New Year. So…there you have it. And I accept it, I can’t say shit but it’s always been like that. When I was about to turn 16 or 17, I was away in Europe in France, and there I’ve gotten the same gift for my birthday, Christmas and New Year. And I know I’m gonna sound selfish and duchy now, but I just stood there and was like…that’s it? So anyway…there’s that.”

He bursts out laughing, and choking on his coffee eventually. I smile and try to contain my inner screams. Did I really make him laugh this much?

“Oh, that’s gold! Sorry…” He says after he’s done coughing.

We stop there and drank our coffee in silence. Every time he’d look at me, he’d start laughing again. And I would just flash another shade of red on my face.

“So, what do you do?” I ask him after I caught him swallowing the sip.

“At the moment, I work as a substitute teacher on Colombia university. I teach philosophy.” He said.

My eyes widen. Philosophy? Seriously? I wanna marry…khm, relax, relax, Jesus.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? That’s so awesome!” I raise my voice but I couldn’t care less if anyone heard me.

“Yeah. I hope I’ll get the real position in the next semester. Now, I go to work whenever they call me. That’s why I was in such a rush on Monday. They called me at 7 to let me know there’s a class in an hour…”

“Oh, right…”

Oh, so he really was in a rush.

“Any hobbies?” I ask again. I love asking him the most basic questions.

“Reading, writing, more reading, even more reading, basically, my head is stuck inside the book all day long.”

This makes me really happy. He likes reading like I do too.

“You?”

“Um, like you, reading, chilling…” I start.

“Can we add that to the list? Procrastinating and stuff?”

He’s making fun of me. This makes me happy as well.

“What more?” He asks again and drinks more of his coffee.

“Um, I play the piano. Right now, books, but school books, it’s that time of the year for exams.”

“Piano? Seriously? That’s amazing. Wow…I’m stunned.”

“Why?”

“I can’t remember the last time I met someone that played the piano.”

He smiles and then he stops, his face is now stilled. I’m sensing trouble or danger.

“You’re free today?” He asks me.

“Mhm…”

“And tomorrow?”

I think for a second. I need to remember my schedule.

“I have class at 10 am.”

“Until when?”

“Noon.”

He nods and smiles again. I kinda missed him not smiling for 5 seconds.

“Great. You wanna meet up tomorrow again and hang out?”

I can literally feel my heart not beating anymore. I stopped wondering what is happening anymore, and just decided to go with it. I think I really like him, but I’m not so sure about him. But he asked to meet up again and I’m gonna say yes, because I really want to get to know him better and see where I stand. But is this it? Is this the end of our breakfast meeting?

“Um…yeah, sure. I mean, is this is? We aren’t breaking apart now or…”

“No, no, no. Just wanted to reserve you in advance.”

We smile at each other. I nod as to confirm that we have a deal.

“I have class at 9 tomorrow. I don’t know when I’ll finish. Sometimes I’ll have one classroom, sometimes two, I don’t know.” Armie says and finishes his coffee.

“Okay. We’ll see each other tomorrow again, then.” I said, and finish mine.

“Yup.”

We’re silent again, now looking at each other, but I can’t help but smile and smile some more. I love how I changed my opinion in fours days about this guy; he went from a ruthless jerk to a guy I could really see myself with, and have no regrets, what so ever.

“You have a class now?” I ask him.

“Now, no. But my phone is always on in case they call me. Oh! Before I forget, here…” he hands me his phone. ”Type in your number and call yourself. Then go to Instagram and find yourself too…”

It was like I was high from all this attention. It didn’t feel real. We met up, ate breakfast, talked a bit and now we’re exchanging numbers and Instagram profiles.

“Got it.”

He’s older than me, he’s working, living alone, still has a family, but I’ll get to know them better. He’s tall and handsome, he chokes on his coffee when I make him laugh, he eats like a cave man, he’s stunned that I play the piano. And yet, all of this, I doubt he’s even the half of who he really is. That’s why I want to get to know him better, just to see who he really is, and hopefully, he’d get that from me as well.

I did all of the things he asked me to. As it turns out, that was him on Instagram. Hammer. Armie Hammer. The irony is…okay. Now I follow him and have his phone number with me.

“Chalamet…a little Frenchie.” He makes a joke about me again and not only that I don’t mind it, I internally wish for more jokes.

We continued to talk about recent movies we watched and books that were on both of our lists. Armie has a dog, Archie, he lives with him.

At one point, Armie took out a pack of mints, and offered me one. When I reached out to take it, I brushed against his palm and felt chills down my spine. What was that? I can’t be having these feelings just yet, it’s still so early. So early in the morning and so early in the friendship.

Wait a minute! I know what this is. It’s the Universe, speaking with us through tiny essentials.

Guess what the Universe is trying to tell me is that this is my person, this tall guy that sits in front of me and swallows three cheese croissants like they’re air, he is mine, he is my person, I’m stuck with him and with everything that comes with him. All of this, now…it’s just the beginning to something beautiful I imagine, and I’m only going to give it my all to make it work just because this entire week I’ve been running into this guy in my neighborhood, my bakery, my coffee shop, it has to mean something, he even said that he took it as a sign. And so will I.

I asked him about his family.

“Ugh, we’ll talk about it some other time, it’s a long story.” He says, he didn’t look too comfortable when I brough it up.

“So, we’ll see each other again?” I stood upwards in my chair.

“Of course. We’re meeting tomorrow, aren’t we?” He almost sounds…offended? He said he’s got me reserved in advance. 

“I know, but…it looks like a delicate subject, and I wouldn’t want to tell anyone I just met about a very delicate subject.” I chose my words carefully.

He squints his one eye and waves a finger at me.

“You have an excellent eye kid. It is delicate and yes, I will tell you about it some other time. We will be seeing each other again after tomorrow, for sure.”

And then he continued to tell me about his dog, Archie. How old is he, how they hang out together, how tiny he was when he got him, how he almost lost him when another dog attacked him, and it turns out they were just playing, but in a very violent way. I stayed there, I listened to him, I tried to absorb everything he’s telling me, I simply must.

This was so random, I thought. Three days ago, I was burying him in my head, and now I was getting chills from touching his hand. So random. I was glad I got to know him at least this much for the first close up. I love that he’s a philosopher, I love that he reads, I love that he’s a dog person, I love that he drinks the same coffee as me, I love that I made him laugh, I love that he was amazed that I play the piano. But it was more than that, for sure. It wasn’t about those little things, it wasn’t even about him being a bad guy and then a good guy in my head, it was the fact that on a Tuesday night, I thought it was anything but a coincidence, and on Wednesday morning, he said he took it as a sign. That’s the sign!

Our minds and souls agreed on this outside of our bodies.

Our bodies were used as a conduct to just shine with the vibe that this was so fucking meant to be. Yes, I know, it’s quick, and extreme but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I was to just bat an eye and look the other way. How random it was that two strangers agreed that it was a sign and decided to deepen whatever this is? I didn’t care if I were to never have him in my bed, or feel his hand in mine, or feel his lips on mine…this was meant to be, and if we end up as just friends, I’ll be fine with that. Until the moment I decide I don’t want him as a friend anymore, but I want him as something more, that’s when I’ll fight and use strength. Right now, I’m just sitting there and listening to him talk about his students, and later on, when he asked me about my brother, I told him all about it Victor.

One thing I noticed about him talking is that he used very specific words, he didn’t use the phrase to explain them, he found them in the human dictionary and went with it. I was amazed, he was really intelligent and talked very formal. Maybe he was as nervous as me and wanted to show off a little. Or maybe, this is him, and if it is…I’m sold.

We talked about philosophy. We talked about our favorite philosophers and why, theories on them and the entire Ancient Greek mythology.

“You ever seen the movie Troy? With Brad Pitt?” I ask him.

“Um, yeah…it’s so fucking good.” He answers.

“Did you know that the entire culture that was built after Troy’s falling was thanks to the guy Paris gave his sword to at the end of the movie? When the Troy was falling.”

“What? No? Are you kidding me?” His reaction…mind blowing.

“His name was Aeneis. And the entire Latin culture and civilization, and later on, the ancient Rome, was called Eneida. I’ve learned about this couple of years ago, I may have mixed some information but basically that’s it.”

“You’re smart, kid. You should watch out.” He shook his head and said this. I think I bought him.

“There’s a poem, Eneida, written by Virgil. It’s about how Rome had risen and so did Octavian August.”

“I’m gonna look it up, but…wow…so young and so smart. Use that brain of your wisely, Timmy.”

Timmy. He called me Timmy.

And then his phone rang. It was the professor. He has a class at 11.

“Fuck. Shit. Sorry, Tim, I have to go.” He seemed pissed so much.

“It’s okay. This was fun.” I said and smile at him, with teeth.

“So much fun. It sucks that it has to end this early. This professor is sick with the stomach flu and the other one, a female professor, keeps having false pregnancy contractions for days now, and it’s unpredictable. The good thing is, I’m getting paid and I’m doing something I love.”

He’s doing something he loves and gets paid to do it. That’s the dream.

“Then, that’s all that matters.”

We stand up, start dressing ourselves and Armie leaves to go and pay. I’m still feeling a bit embarrassed about it.

“Thanks for breakfast. And coffee.” I said.

“My pleasure.”

Now that we’re dressed, we say goodbye to the cashier and head out into the snowy morning. It was 10:15 when we got out and I had 2 missed calls from both Jules and Victor, and couple of messages, but I didn’t read them. I forgot to tell them where I was. Now they’re worried. About me, or their breakfast not being on the kitchen counter?

“I’ll drive you home. Unless you have some business in the city?” He says.

“You don’t have to do that. It’s too mu-…”

“Shut up. Come here, this way.”

Oh, okay. Guess we’ll do it his way, again.

I follow him until we get to his car. I sit next to him and I tell him where to drive. A part of me prayed that he remembers where I live so that he can visit me at night, like in my fantasy. We listen to some music in the car and talk about the song and the artist.

“You can stop here.” I show him where and he does that. “Thank you, again.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Armie says as I was unbuckling my seat belt.

I get out of the car.

“Yup. Next time, I’ll pay.”

“Shut up.”

“Good luck today.” I said and smiled at him.

“Thank you. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.”

I smile at him and he smiles back, we’re stand still like that for couple of seconds; him inside in the driver’s seat and me still holding the door from the outside. I can’t wait for tomorrow. I can’t wait to listen to him talk about his day tomorrow.

“See you, Armie.”

“Later, Timmy.”

And he’s off as soon as I closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter while i was watching Troy, so i hope i got this info right. When i was in high school, we had a subject called Latin, it was totally useless, i don't use it today, only use it when i read a diagnosis on Latin lol but we had a book and there was written about Eneida and Aeneis, so i just connected the dots with Paris giving the sword to the guy with the same name. I hope i'm right lol  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	6. The afterthought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's day continues and it's a good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeyy kittens!! I couldn't wait one more day to post it so here it is. The story is moving on and it's moving on quickly. I finished writing chapter 9 and i'm already moving on to the next one. I really enjoy writing this fanfic, and i love the response and the support i've been getting from everyone about this. Hope you'll like this one, enjoy it and let me know what you think about it in the comments!

Both Victor and Jules were all over me as soon as I walked into the apartment. Oops, guess I forgot to text them.

“Where have you been?”

“Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”

“You could have at least texted us to let us know you’re okay!”

“We were worried sick!”

“Did you get my food?”

Honestly, they could’ve screamed, yelled, teared the place down, I wasn’t even paying attention to them and their noises. I was on cloud 9 and whatever they said, it got into one ear and went out from the other one. I knew they were exaggerating. As I was walking upstairs, I looked at the time when they called and texted me; Victor called me at 09:56am, then he texted the next minute, Jules called at 10:03am and texted at 10:07. They were worried sick for the past 20 minutes, at least, that’s what they said. I didn’t believe them. And Victor, fuck you and your food!

“I’m sorry. I got caught up at the library. I forgot to text you that I needed to do some work for Monday. Chill. You can eat something here.” I said as calmed as possible, I couldn’t care less about their drama.

“What about you?” Victor asked.

“I already ate.”

“Of course, his ass first.”

Oh, he’s trying to piss me off. It’s not working for him, nothing can beat me anymore for the rest of the day.

“You know what…”

I didn’t even feel the need to continue this sentence, it would be useless. If I were to say anything, I’d just feel like shit later on and I didn’t want to ruin this beautiful day. I think I did the right thing, I just turned around and went into my room.

Because I was feeling so good, and it didn’t bother me that the others couldn’t see it and disturb my inner peace, I fell onto my bed and simply breathed deeply, in and out. God, I felt so good. It was unbelievable! I wanted to feel like this forever. Maybe Armie was the reason why I felt so good, or maybe it was the fact that I somewhat deepened something with a guy I really liked. Maybe it was because I missed feeling like this, it’s been a while since I had someone to be worked over about.

I tried to turn back the film and remember if I felt this good while I was with Miles. We met at a party and we hooked up that very night. It was, eventually, but not at first. I was confused most of the time, I didn’t know if this is what I wanted, if I even wanted to go this path. But I did. We did. And when we were together, I loved that. I’d feel good then, but even from the first day, as much as I was confused, I was also very clear when it came to my feelings, and my stomach used to jump every time I’d see Miles. So I took that as a good sign. I’d feel dizzy every time he would kiss me, I’d get lost in his eyes, and whenever we had sex…I was a completely different person.

Even though we did it, we crossed the line, and maybe because he was my first, I wasn’t clear with how I feel about my sexuality. Later on, I had hook ups with girls, and guys, and I couldn’t still identify myself as completely straight, or completely gay, not even bisexual, and not pansexual. I don’t know. I’m lost. I let it all hang out into the air and if my magnet catches someone I believe was right, then that’s where I’m heading. I told my mom about Miles, and she wasn’t thrilled about it. In fact, she never complained about me being into guys and not the girls, at the moment, but she didn’t like Miles as person, and not at all. She said he looked like someone’s who’s there to put in and pull out and be gone within 15 seconds. I made fun of her for that, until she was right and we ”broke up”. When that happened, she didn’t leave my side. She took a week off work and flew to New York to be with me. She wasn’t this caring when my first girlfriend and I broke up. What’s the deal mom? Why now that it’s a guy? She knows. Mom knows. They always know.

I got up, got undressed and went to the bathroom to freshen up. The water on my face, it felt nice. I decided not to think about Armie, or our breakfast that got spread into a 3 hour conversation. If I were to now sit, or lie down and think about it, I would overthink it and ruin the entire thing in my head. I would somehow point out to the bad things, or the things I didn’t do, or did them the wrong way and totally focus on that and forget how wonderful it was. Okay, breathe, stay positive. You need to think positive, and think about good things and Armie…think about Armie, he’s wonderful, he really is.

I went back to my room and crashed onto the bed again, fell asleep and I didn’t wake up until 5:30 in the afternoon.

When I woke up, I realized I had a message from Armie. It was the first thing I noticed just as soon as I opened my eyes, the brightness of my phone blinded me, I needed time to adjust a bit, and when I did, I realized that I slept for 7 hours…holy shit, and that he sent me a picture of him and his dog, Archie. He sent me the picture an hour ago and wrote “Wanna join us?”. Fuck! I could’ve been walking with him and his dog, and instead I was sleeping. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I hate this so much! If I only knew, I would wake up and go out and hang out with him and his dog. I slept for 7 hours, it was too much. I texted him “I was sleeping and just woke up, sorry I missed the walk, hope it was fun” and just cringed at the screen. It was laughable. Am I this pathetic? I never read the text I sent him, I was too disgusted with myself to do so. He texted me back about 10 minutes later and said “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. it was fun tho.” And we stopped there. At least I stopped. What was I supposed to write after that? He’s probably busy, I shouldn’t bother him anymore, that’s enough for today.

But I couldn’t get him out of my head. He went for a walk with his dog, and invited the person he literally just met. We talked about Archie, his dog, at breakfast and I told him how I wish I could have a dog but Victor doesn’t approve it one bit. Maybe this is the reason why he called me. To let me feel the sense of having a dog and the obligation to walk him, feed him, take care of him, collect his poop in a doggy bag. I smiled when all those things became actual images in my head. I imagined us walking him, bathing him, petting him, and, the most romantic one, collecting doggy poop in a doggy bag. That had a nasty stink to it, but the fact that it was just us and the dog, didn’t bother me what so ever.

I craved to send him another message, I did, I really did. But I didn’t want to bother him or take away his attention on me. Who am I kidding? I wanted him to focus only on me. Screw everything and everybody else, I’m gonna text him.

I grabbed my phone violently and opened our texts. This is how two of the shyest people in the world message each other. That’s what we were. Shy. And yet we were kind of…grabbing towards the other side.

I can’t text him “What’s up” and “What are you doing”, it will seem like I am asking for one thing only. I need something that ran into my mind and attention spontaneously. Something we’ve talked about in the morning and that randomly appeared around me, and I had to text him about it. Yes. But what?

I know! It’s gonna take a while, just so it looks like it’s real and I stumbled upon it by accident. I turned my laptop on and typed “Troy”, and began watching the movie. It will take me about 3 hours or so. Just by watching the movie, I could see that this movie is gonna have a meaningful space in my heart and in our friendship. This is where he was amazed by my intelligence, or just my ability to notice things and learn about them. I make two bathroom breaks, I’m alone in the apartment, these two left again and didn’t even tell me, and it’s been around 8 or so when I finished the movie. I decided to wait another 20 minutes to text him. It must look real. It must look like I casually ran into the idea to watch this movie.

Jules and Victor knocked on my door to let me know they’re back home.

An idea popped into my head, again. What a smart cookie. I replayed the movie to the scene we talked about, took a picture of it and sent to him on Instagram.

Two minutes later, he opened the picture.

30 seconds later, he called me.

My heart jumped when his name popped on my screen. I immediately got up from my lying position and started styling my hair, like he can see me…idiot.

“Hello?” I cleared my voice and said.

“Did you find it on TV or on your laptop?”

“Laptop.”

“What a coincidence. It’s just now showing on TV. Hector and Achillis are about to fight.” He said.

“Ooh, love that scene.”

“Me too.”

I smile to myself.

“How weird is that we talk about it this morning, you find to watch it and I accidentally stumble upon it on TV?” He said.

“The only weird thing is that you still have TV and watch movies on it.” I joked.

He laughed. I bit my lips.

“I’m not that old.”

“Yes you are. I only use TV to waste time while you…on the other hand, really watch movies on it.” I said and decided to continue teasing him. I like this very much.

“Where am I supposed to watch them?” He asked and laughs.

“Um, laptop, old guy. You can also go to the movies.”

He’s silent for a while, I can only hear him breathe.

“Will you?” He asked after a while.

“What?”

“Will you watch a movie with me?”

My heart stopped again. Is this really happening, oh dear…

“Which one?” I asked.

“Does it matter?”

No, it doesn’t, really. I was feeling so relaxed now that I was talking to him over the phone. I made fun of him being old and using TV, and he…he suggests we should watch a movie together.

“Nope.” I answer eventually.

“I’ll take a note on that scene you told me.”

“Definitely do. The movie and knowledge they clashed when I put the pieces together.”

I couldn’t believe I was talking to him. I knew it was too fast, I’ve only known him less than a week and I’m so stunned by him. He’s stunned by me and that amazes me.

“So Armie…” I began. I feel so confident now and relax, like I can take over the world with this power I had inside me.

“Hm?”

“That’s short for…”

“Armand.”

“Armand?”

“Armand.”

“Big name.” I say. And regret it almost immediately. I mutter to myself “fuck”.

“Big name, big guy.” He said.

I nod to myself, and we continue to talk over the phone for a while. He would point out the scene in the movie, and I’d talk it through, we’d exchange some words and continue watching the movie together but not really.

After we hung up I stayed in bed for the next couple of minutes. I couldn’t process what just happened, and I didn’t want to, just let it go with the flow. Don’t analyze the conversation. Please, don’t ruin this.

I turned my laptop off and removed it from the bed. This had to be celebrated, and it’s not good to keep it all inside. I wasn’t alone but I didn’t want to go to waste or keep it all inside. I just had to be silent, burry my head in something, I can still do this. the fact that I wasn’t alone didn’t bother me at all, it made me even hornier. Just like I was during this entire conversation.

I took my pajama bottoms off and my boxers, in the process I took my shirt off as well. Now I lied there, naked. Wet wipes next to my head and I began. This time, I was more excited than the last time.

Because I needed to be silent, I repositioned myself on my stomach, and spread my legs as much as I could, and arched my butt in air.

I began touching myself slowly, thinking only of him. Now there wasn’t any weird breaking in or playing the kinky game; it was just the two of us, just Armand and Timothée. He took me from behind, on all fours, slowly and very vile. Then he sped up a bit and whispered in my ear how good of a boy I was. When I heard those words with that voice in my head, I began leaking immediately. Without a care in the world, I was masturbating to a guy I’ve known for 4 days and finally met 14 hours ago. Just him and me. Armie’s hairy body collapsed on mine when I felt that I was close. Closer than a few nights ago, closer than usual. I never felt any guilt or shame like I did the last time. Why would I? I would say we were on a good path to becoming something more than just friends. I couldn’t imagine a couple of friends acting and talking like that, he was so interested in me and everything about my life, he wanted to walk his dog with me, his dog…a man’s best friend, his baby, the sacred bond between a man and an animal, and he wanted me to be a part of it. That’s big, that’s something that should be taken into consideration.

I keep thinking I can’t come on all fours, if I do, I would have to change yet another pair of sheets. So I decided to wait until I’m almost at the edge to turn around on my back and come on my stomach instead. Good thing I was naked.

Armie’s so gentle now. He collapsed on top of me, and pressed his body against mine, now we were bonded for good. I imagined I couldn’t breathe because of how heavy he was and how hard he was pounding inside of me. A thought popped into my head: I can’t wait to be pinned down like this for real, and by the man that was now on top of me and whispering in my ear. No special fantasy, just the thought that this could be us for real and soon made me feel how close I really was.

I rushed to turn on my back and removed the covers from me. Now I’m naked, completely. I grabbed the pillow with my left hand and continued stroking myself with the right one even faster. Sweat ran down my face, my hair was now greasy, tears were gathering at the edge of my eyes, nose was running, fingers slipping and I had to bite into the pillow to hold in my moans which I’ve been making the entire time just didn’t know if I was loud enough for those two to hear me. Fuck it. I can’t do shit about it now.

I’m close, I’m so close.

In my head, Armie turned me to my side and is now moving brutally fast inside of me. He’s squeezing my hips and sucking my neck.

“Good boy, Tim…you’re such a good boy…”

I heard him say that.

“Come for me, come for me baby…come on, you can do it baby…”

He’s breathing out every single world. No need to tell me twice, I’m already there. I bite into the pillow again and moan his name out into the piece of fabric as I was coming all over me. I can’t stop, it’s so intense, if someone were to walk in right now I wouldn’t know how to stop the process. My legs were bent into knees and my pelvis has moved upwards because of how hard my orgasm was. I’m breathing fast, hyperventilating, I cried out at the end into the pillow. My body formed a bridge on top of my shoulder blades how hard I came. Wow, I haven’t come this hard ever, not from my hand, or anybody’s else’s. It’s because of him, it’s because of this image I have of him in my head.

“Armie…Armie…Ah-Armie…” I moan softly and quietly into the air. I have no filter what so ever.

I lie back down and close my eyes. I’m so tired, I feel like a trip to the bathroom is so much work at this moment. I wish there was somebody else here with me to help me get cleaned up. I wish Armie was here, this is his fault after all.

But I pull out the last atom of energy and get up, still naked.

The bathroom is just next to my room and when I peeked out, I saw that the doors were opened and there was darkness inside. It’s empty. I make a quick run for it and make it in safely.

I shower and wash my hair. The amount of semen that I washed down the drain…all because of you Armie. I dry myself and dry my hair, wash my face, my teeth and then I went back into my room.

The sheets looked fine. I put on a new pair of boxers and pajama bottoms, a new shirt and went straight to bed. It was around 10:30 pm when I lied down, set my alarm up for 07:40 am the next day, and that was it. I think I feel asleep as soon as I tucked myself in and closed my eyes.

The next day I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm. I got up, got dressed and went to the bakery, I didn’t even check if anyone’s awake in the kitchen. I was the first one there, no one in front of me, no one behind me, the tables were empty and there was no sign of Armie. Good. He’s probably in class. We’re meeting later on in the afternoon.

Back home, Jules was the only one who was up and we sat there, ate our breakfast, drank coffee and talked for a bit. She said she’s really struggling at work, it’s been stressful, she said. I would love to have known how to help her or console her but I’m at loss, for real. Even though I’m gonna be 19 soon, I was still just a kid, what does my word mean in someone’s decision about their job and career, it could affect them in any way possible.

Eventually, she called in sick and went back to bed. Victor never woke up. I chilled for a bit in the kitchen, then went back to my room, got dressed and was on my way to the subway. Somewhere along the way, I got a text from Armie, saying “We’re still on for later?”. I smiled, and I smiled again. And again. I replied “Yupp, I finish around 1. I’ll call you to let you know where we should meet.” A minute later, he replied “You got it kid”. I love that he calls me kid, and that I make a joke about him being so old. Oh my sweet old guy, did you know what you did to me in a dream last night? If only…soon, one day pretty soon, I’m gonna spell it out for you.

The results of the exam came in and again, like I knew I would, I passed with flying colors. This week has been…so good, I don’t want to jinx it but It felt so good feeling this great and having all the stars lined up for me and only me.

The rest of the day went by fast. In between classes I was hanging out with my buddies and texting Armie. It became so natural to me. He told me he finished up with his class and that he was on his way to meet his brother and hang out for a while. Somehow, the news about this guy meeting his brother made me feel very happy and warm inside.

When the final class finished, I rushed outside. The weekend finally began and so did my “date” with Armie. Just as I was about to text him, I realized I had a message from Jules. She asked me not to tell Victor about what we talked in the morning and that she’ll think about whether or not she’ll keep the job or not. I texted her back, “My lips are sealed. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you, but pls think of your mental health first, that’s the most important thing ever.” She replied within 20 seconds “Thanks Tim, love you.” And just as I pressed send to saying that I love her too, I heard…

“Hi kid.”

I looked up and saw Armie in front of me. He wore his dark blue jacket, it was opened and I saw that he was wearing a mixed gray-black sweater,

“Better watch where you’re going. Kids these days, always on their phones.” He joked and smiled. I missed that smile. And that voice. And him.

“Wha-what are you doing he-here?” I’m stuttering from both excitement and nervousness.

“It’s too cold to walk and too expensive to travel, so I figured I should pick you up.” He said.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.”

“No problem. I figured, this way, we would have more time for us.” He said. Okay. Now I’m definitely gonna fall hard for this guy.

“True.”

“Come on. We’re going somewhere special.” He said and began walking.

I followed him like baby ducks follow their mama.

“Where?” I asked, I’m curious.

“We’re going to the movies.”

He was serious indeed. Boy, this guy acts fast.

“And what are we watching?”

“Joker. I haven’t seen it.” He said.

I stopped and waited for him to notice me, and when he did he came up to me.

“You haven’t seen Joker yet? Have you been living under a rock?” I was in shock.

“Guess I haven’t found the right person I could watch it with.” He said.

“Oh, Armie…my treat!” I was overwhelmed by his words, and grabbed my chance to pay back.

“No, no, no…”

“Yes, yes, yes. You paid the last time. Now, I’m the one talking an old guy to see the movie of the year. Come on.” I joked and pushed him from behind towards his car, he was laughing the entire time.

So we went to the movies in the middle of the afternoon, I paid for it. We watched the movie, and talked the entire way back about it. We talked a lot. Not just about the movie but about everything. And I still wanted more. After the movies we decided to go out for a drink. We drank coffee instead and he talked about his day with his brother, his class and students. And then I told him about Jules, even though they never met and it was none of our business to get in the middle of her life, we still talked about it and mentioned examples on how would we react if we were in her situation.

“Wanna meet up tomorrow morning?” I ask him. I’m fighting as well. I think I grabbed an amazing shot.

“Isn’t it too early, on a Saturday morning?” He asks and finishes his coffee.

“Oh, right. Yeah…”

“Besides, we can meet up for lunch or to just sit somewhere and chill.” He suggests instead.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” I nod and smile, I can’t help it. I’m seeing him yet another day in a row.

“How about around 3? I’ll pick you up then and we can go somewhere else.” He says.

“Yeah, yeah, great.”

“Deal.”

We’re silent for a while, looking around the café, then at each other. Whenever we’d look at each other I’d smile.

“I should go.” I say eventually when I check my phone and realized that both Victor and my mom called me few times.

“It’s 8 o’clock? Shit, time flies…” He mutters.

“Yup, it really does.”

“Come on kid, let’s get you home. It’s past bed time for this old guy.” He jokes and I laugh at that.

I laughed so hard I felt water coming through my nose. He paid this time. I’m gonna pay tomorrow.

The antic old question. When and where do we kiss? Now? The drive from the coffee shop to my place took him less than 10 minutes. We listened to music and talked about it yet again. When he pulls over, do I lean over and kiss him? Or do I wait for him to kiss me? Are we even gonna kiss…ever? Is that where we’re headed? Or did I get everything wrong?

He got out of the car, and then I did as well. Armie leaned against his car and I turned to look at him.

“I’ll see you here tomorrow at 3 kid.” He said.

“I’ll be here.” I said and smiled.

We didn’t kiss, but the night didn’t go to waste because then he leaned in and hugged me. I absentmindedly pressed my nose against his neck and inhaled his scent. My eyes rolled at the back of my head when I felt him. Guess I’ll have some business later on again. Fuck, he smelled so fucking good. So warm and sweet, it was intoxicating. I tapped his back and the hug lasted no more than 3 or 4 seconds. We both split very soon and before I knew it, he went back to his car and I walked inside of the building, looking back at him. He honked when he was off. I don’t regret not kissing him, a hug was enough to finish me off at the spot.

I rushed inside to find an empty place. There was a text on my phone from Jules; they went out. Good.

I was alone again. I stripped down naked and went straight to the bathroom where I masturbated again to the images of him behind me, twisting his hips and tugging my hair. His intoxicating scent was stuck inside of my nostrils as I kept stroking faster and faster until white gooey substance went down the drain, along with the rest of me and that day’s memories.

Laster on, I got dressed and grabbed something to eat. I downloaded another movie on my laptop and just as I was about to watch it, my mom called me and we talked for more than 2 hours. After I hung up with her, I played the movie and fell asleep within the first 30 minutes. I don’t remember much, I don’t remember what scene was the last scene that I saw, or when did Jules and Victor come back, all I knew is that, while I was drifting off to sleep, I could see Armie and hear his voice next to me.

Thank you, Universe! it made me smile like an idiot as I was pulling back from the reality and into the land of dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	7. Close, closer, almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weekend is here, and so is Timmy's and Armie's...date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you wonderful people! Here's the next chapter, we're finally getting somewhere, the story is moving very fast and i refuse to let time go to waste. I hope you'll like it, enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think about it in the comments!

I woke up at noon.

My eyes were glued, I couldn’t open them on my own. I rubbed them but it was no use, because my arms were limp and I had 0 energy in my body to lift them and rub my eyes to open them up. But I did manage to turn my phone on and realize that it was 12:02 pm. Fuck, I slept for 11, 12 hours. I was tired but not tired enough to go back to sleep, especially because I was meeting Armie in a few hours for lunch, so technically, it will be my lunch time.

On weekends, I hardly ever get up at 7 am to get us food. They can find it themselves then. I didn’t set my alarm off and right before I drifted off to sleep, and right before seeing Armie in my dreams again, I made an imaginary deal with myself; I gave my body and my mind a day off, I’m not that big of an influence, people can manage on their own.

There was silence outside of my room. Wonder where they went. I kept rubbing my eyes and my entire face just to wake up. This is brutal. The more I slept, the more tired I felt, and I was less in the mood to get up or live. But I remembered Armie and what happened last night, and the entire previous day and the previous week. He made me smile even when he wasn’t around. I felt better when I slept less and napped after school, but now I jugged down 12 hours of sleep in one go.

Eventually, I got up and went to the kitchen. There was a note on the counter. Jules was called in to work on a Saturday and Victor went grocery shopping. I felt bad for Jules, especially because I know how stressful work can be and some time off, even if it’s just the weekend, can really help a person out to vent a little and relax. But no, instead of sleeping and relaxing, she had to go to work. I really hope she knows what she’s doing and that she can fix this. And also, I really hope she tells Victor because he has the right to know and maybe he can help her out.

I decided to eat a little because I was nervous again and because in a few hours I would be having lunch with Armie as well. I made some eggs and toast, drank my coffee in front of my laptop, watching the movie I started last night. I barely remember anything about it.

The week that was coming was going to be hectic. I had 4 exams; Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. The only day I don’t have any exams is the only day that I have off, and is also going to be the day I would have to study for the exam on Friday and that was the hardest one yet. Perfect.

Something popped in my head; maybe during the next week I won’t be so stressful or anxious because I’ll have Armie by my side. The way we’re headed…I can totally see us together. It’s crazy, I know, but I really, really, really like this guy and I think he likes me as well, in the way I hope he does.

The exam I have on Monday is the easiest one. I got on that one immediately after breakfast to fulfill the time until my date…? with Armie.

Victor came back around 01:30 pm. I helped him put away things he just bought.

“When did you wake up?” He asked me as we were putting away food.

“Um, noon I think.”

“Man, you killed it.” He chuckled.

“Mhm…”

After that, I went back to my room and all I did, until 02:40 pm, was study. When that time struck me, I closed the book and promised myself I would finish what little I had left when I get back home.

I got ready; I dressed nicely, I brushed my hair styled my curls, washed my face and even stared into the mirror for quite some time. I never do this, I never stare at myself and try to find something I like or dislike about me. Now, when I look in the mirror, all I see is a nervous young man, struggling to overcome himself, trying his best to fulfill people’s expectations and was now on his way to meet up with a guy he really likes. This is why I never look in the mirror.

It was 02:59 pm when I got out. I told Victor I was headed out to meet my friends, which is partially true, except he didn’t know this friend, who was older than him.

Right on time.

I walked out and I noticed him parked to the right. I smile, of course I smile.

It wasn’t that cold outside and the snow toned it down a bit but it wasn’t the weather to fuck around with. He’s waiting for me, I get inside the car without a care in the world.

“Hey kid.” He said and smiles at me.

I just noticed his beard is growing.

“Hi grandpa. You feeling okay? Is your back hurting you?”

“You little shit.” He mutters out and smiles. I love making fun of him.

“Where are we off to?”

“Anywhere you wanna go.”

I think for a second, and then I tell him where I want to go and we were off.

“So what did you do last night?” He asked me.

Do you really wanna know? You were the cause of it all. You and your ridiculously intoxicating scent.

“Um, nothing special. I watched a movie and fell asleep during.”

I answer politely, keeping the real truth to myself.

“You?”

“I bathed my dog.” He said.

“And you didn’t call me?!”

“He took my phone away and said if I call somebody else I’m gonna have another thing coming.” Armie joked, and his jokes were bad dude.

“Ugh, hate it when that happens.”

On a stop light, Armie bent down to reach something from the glove compartment. He accidentally brushed his hand against my thigh and I squirted out immediately. I don’t know what the fuck was that.

I felt like I was gonna die. I don’t know what came over me. There was something inside of me that kept beating and beating like crazy. This feeling, the warmth… the desire. The desire to touch him and look at him, the need to kiss him and let him kiss me…all of those things were coming at me in waves, while he was talking about how he bathed his dog. What is happening to me? Suddenly I felt like I was trapped and sped up my breathing. Was I getting hard? Was it his scent again? I just want to kiss him, is that too much to ask? Now, more than ever, I was sure of how much I want him, physically and emotionally. I’m sexually attracted to this man beside me. I licked my lips because they were dry as hell, and I needed to calm the fuck down. On the surface, I’m smiling and nodding at whatever he’s saying to me, but on the inside…I’m a mess, I’m burning up, I needed to contain myself so as I try not to jump his bones right there on spot. Whatever it was, it was because of him. Maybe it was his scent inside the car, maybe it’s just him radiating like that next to me. Or I’m radiating because of him and then he’s responding by releasing these toxic pheromones that are suffocating me. I can’t breathe, I can, I can’t, I must. Breathe. Relax. Chill.

Armie drove us to this tiny bistro, where they served really good food. I’ve been there many times and I always loved going there, clearly he did too.

“I love this place.” I said.

“Me too. I’ve been coming here for years.” Armie said, he was excited to be here.

“Me too. How come we’ve never met here?”

“Who knows? What will you get?”

But the Universe had done it again. We’ve been going to the same bistro for years now, and we’ve never met each other, or ran into by accident, or we did but didn’t give much credit to it. But we met at a bakery where I go on a daily basis and he was just passing by and was in the rush, and that’s the place we met and where it all started. Even the timing was crucial. It was important that we met now, this year, this week, at a tiny bakery. And not at a bistro we’ve been going for years now. Amazing.

I smile and stand in line behind him. He’s so tall I can barely reach his head. We discuss what we’ll get and wait. When it was time to pay, I rush before him and pay up. He didn’t say a single word, he must’ve realized I was as stubborn as they come and there was no use arguing with me.

We sat opposite each other and started eating.

“So, how long have you been living here?” I ask him.

“I moved here about 4 years ago. To finish my master’s degree.”

He took a big bite and I watched him swallow it all at once. Oh, dear God, I was waiting for the moment he would choke and I would have to preform CPR on him, I knew how to do it, my mom taught us just in case. That wouldn’t have been a totally bad idea for our lips to come to contact for the first time. But I counted on him and his well being that he knows what he’s doing.

“After I finished that, I was teaching philosophy in some high schools as a substitute teacher too. And from September I’ve been teaching on Colombia. I told you, I’m counting on a real position soon, in a few months or so.”

“That’s great.” I say and I mean it.

“What about you? What are your plans after high school?”

“No idea. Maybe some big ass university like Colombia but I still haven’t figured it out. Maybe I’ll take a year off and go to Europe or something like that. I don’t know.”

Somehow this topic makes me feel…bad. I was just enjoying my time with this guy and now we’re talking about my future while his is already fixed. I envied people who know what they’re gonna do with their lives.

“You sound lost.”

“I am tho.”

“All in good time, my friend. No need to rush or force anything.”

I nod. He’s right. I hope so…

“I guess.”

“You haven’t thought about following your mom’s steps?”

“Nah. Too much for me. I’ve listened to her complain many times and how she sort of regrets being a doctor. Not all the times, just when she’s stressed, which Is normal I guess.” I said and already felt better.

“Yeah, it is. Don’t take her seriously when she’s having a bad day. I had countless bad days, but in the end…I love my job. Especially because I’m constantly learning something new each time I open up a new book.”

“Now that’s the dream.”

“Right!?”

We both laugh and agree with this. It is a dream. I love philosophy. Imagine if I decide to go to Colombia and I’d have philosophy as a subject and then Armie would be my professor. Oh, professor’s kink, that seems hot. I’m already warm from thinking about it.

We continued to eat and talk about philosophy and about the movie I watched the previous night. Armie has already seen it, so there was much to talk about.

The more I listen to this man, the more I am addictive to him and his life, the way that he thinks and the way he’s expressing himself. Not only that, he’s very handsome, he has dashing blue eyes and hair that I would gladly tug on some occasions and caress on the others. I could see myself being with him, sharing my life and my bed with a man, that’s the least important thing here. I want him, in every way possible.

After we finished our lunch, we sat back into his car and we were off.

“Now where?” I ask him.

“You’ll see…”

“Oh, I’m excited.”

After some time, Armie stopped in front of a building.

“I’ll be out in a minute. You get out and wait for me, I won’t be too long.”

I did like he told me, I waited outside.

Armie walked out not maybe 5 minutes later. With his dog, Archie. I jumped when I saw them.

“Oh my God! Look at you! Aaaaa!!!” I was lost when I saw this pup, I squatted to pet him. He was very playful and looked happy to see me.

“Tim, this is Archie. It was about time you two met.” Armie said, but I stopped listening to him.

“Hi, baby, oh you’re too cute!”

I got up.

“May I?” I asked Armie to give me his leash.

“Sure, here…”

Our hands touched. I noticed Armie didn’t wear glower ever, neither did I. Now our warm skins touched and I felt butterflies. I felt special. He really brought out his dog for us to meet. Like I said before, a dog is like a man’s child, and now he included me in their life together. It was way more than special. I felt like I owned Armie, that he was so taken by me that he wanted me to meet his baby. Archie was adorable as fuck. He had a little winter jacket and it warmed my heart. Just the thought of Armie dressing him up to meet me…ugh, what a day! Can this get any better? I hope so.

Archie didn’t make any fuss about a stranger walking him, he just walked with us and I was holding the leash.

“He likes you.”

“You think?”

“I know. He usually won’t move a muscle if he doesn’t like the person who’s holding the leash.”

“Smart pup.”

“Guess you’re special.”

Take me now, Armie. Anywhere. We’re not that far away from your place. Take me upstairs and devour me without entering your bedroom, I won’t complain, I won’t make a fuss. I would love for you to take me on the spot, but it was cold and the dog…a thought popped in my head; Archie the dog would see us do the doggy style…nope, still too early. Leave that fantasy for the night, now you’re walking his dog.

We continued to walk Archie and talk about him. We had to make many stops so that he could smell the nature, although it was covered in snow, and pee at every corner. Good thing is that he didn’t poop, but the doggy bag was already attached to the leash, just in case. Archie was the main subject. Armie told me how Archie was close to dying twice already and that he owns everything to the vet that saved him. First time was when a bee stung him, and the second when he had a throat inflammation and that resolved into him having sensitive paws because the infection spread all the way down to his legs. It broke my heart to think that this little pup went through all of that, but it warmed my heart at the same time, to listen to Armie talk about his pup like that. Like a dad talking about his baby.

We walked for maybe an hour or so, made many, many turns just to make it last longer.

“Alright, guys, we have to go back.” Armie said at some point, I wanted to cry.

“Whaaat, no!”

“Yes! Sorry Tim, it’s getting dark, and Archie’s a small dog, he gets tired really fast.”

“He doesn’t look tired to me.” I smile at him. Try to win him over with that face, Tim.

He chuckles, he wants to be serious but it’s not working.

“Home. Now. We’ll walk tomorrow, I promise. I usually take him out for 20 minutes.” He said.

“Ugh, fine.”

And we turned around and went back to his place. When we were in front of the building, I struggled with giving Armie the leash, but eventually I did. I bent down to pet Archie. He jumped all over me and licked my fingers and tried to lick my face but I bulged back.

I watch him take his dog back inside.

“Bye, Archie!” I waved and made a sad face.

I took my phone out and realized it was almost 8 in the evening. my God, time does fly when I’m with him. Armie came back 5 minutes later, saying how it took some time to get the tiny jacket off and that he had to feed him. That made me giggle. We sat back into his car and were on our way to my place so that he could drop me off.

“Wanna hang out tomorrow?” Armie asked as we were driving back to my place.

“Ugh, um…I would love to, but I have an exam on Monday, and I began studying this morning…”

“Got it. No problem. You take care of that first and we’ll hang some other time.”

This didn’t sound good. As soon as he said some “other time” I knew there won’t be an arranged deal when and where. I need to fight for this.

“Let’s hang out on Monday, after I finish the exam.” I suggest.

“Okay, cool, yeah.”

“Okay.”

We turn at the same time and smile at each other.

We arrive at my place within 5 minutes. For some reason, Armie got out of the car, and so did I. Usually he would just let me off here and then he’d go back home, but he got out of the car and walked me over to the building. We got inside together without a single word. I turned around to look at him, to say goodbye and found myself stuck between a wall and this tall guy.

Silence. Total silence.

I looked up at him and his eyes were closing.

Oh my God. Is this it? Is this where we’re gonna finally kiss?

Armie put one of his hands against the wall next to my head, mine were too busy sweating and were blocked, I couldn’t move. I’ve been imagining us kissing for days now and when that moment finally came along…I was lost and couldn’t move.

This is it. This is finally happening.

I can feel his heart beating so close to mine, he’s breathing deeply, at least he’s trying. I need to relax, I’m gonna explode when our lips touch. This just proves that I’m not crazy, and that he sees us as more than just friends.

Armie leans in closer and I can smell his breath and perfume and his dog. I’m scared, I’m excited, I feel like I was gonna die, I felt high and sick, I can’t wait for him to kiss me. We’re so close. I closed my eyes and give in totally. Whatever happens, happens. I have no control over it anymore, everything is in the hands of the Universe.

I haven’t been this nervous and excited in a long time. There was no one I wanted like him, not ever in my entire life. Millions of thoughts ran through my head as we were standing so close to each other, so close I could feel everything that was evaporating from his body. This is the moment that it’s gonna write history, when he walked me over to the building and got in with me, didn’t say a single word and just kissed me. I was so fucking ready for this, I’ve been losing shit the entire day long, ever since he picked me up and accidentally touched my thigh. Now I’m starting to wonder if that was even an accident. My eyes are closed, I licked my lips just to wet them a little and…

And then my stupid phone rang.

I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me. His blue eyes are like daggers, even in a dark hallway.

“Shit. Sorry.” I mouthed out my words, clearly stuttering and cursing whoever it was on the other line.

“It’s okay, take your time.”

He said and smashed his head against mine and breathed out from sheer frustration. I’m not crazy. We didn’t kiss but there was a connection. His head against mine. I struggled to get my phone out and when I did, I saw that it was Victor.

“Hello?”

“Where are you, Tim?” He asks me.

“Um, I’m on my way up.” I’m still lightheaded and my cheeks are fucking boiling, I need time to process what just happened. Armie’s head is still on mine. He’s still inhaling the air around me.

“Where have you been?”

“I told you. I was out with my friends.” I look at Armie, his eyes are closed. The height difference wasn’t big but his head was still on mine.

“Quit lying and come home for dinner. And bring that guy you’re with.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, and Armie saw that, that’s why he removed his head from mine. Does he know? I turn around to see if maybe he’s spying on us, or is even at the top of the stairs and is watching everything we’re doing. Victor is many things, but a jerk…not really. There’s no sign of him anywhere so I just have to admit that either he saw us, or he heard me while I was masturbating, but I highly doubt he could connect the dots.

“Wha-what guy?” I play dumb.

“The one you’re with right now. Come upstairs, we ordered pizza.” He said and hung up.

I swallow what I had in my mouth and turned to look at him. God, he’s perfect. I want him so badly.

“Who was that?” He asked.

“My brother. He um…he told me to come home, and…and um to…to bring you.” I squint my eyes before I could finish. I was embarrassed. There is no need to get this guy involved. It’s too early.

“Me?”

“Yeah. I guess he saw us or something. They ordered pizza and they’re waiting for us.” I said.

This is where I feared he would say no or make up an excuse as to avoid meeting my brother, but instead…

“Well let’s go. We don’t want it to get cold.” He said and headed for the staircase. I was indeed shocked.

“Are you okay with this?” I rush in front of him to stare into his eyes as I ask him this.

“Of course. I was bound to meet your brother eventually. Besides, you met Archie, so it’s a win-win for the both of us.”

I smiled at that. One family member from his side, and now soon, it’s gonna be one family member from my side.

He was right. He was bound to meet them one day. That day is today. I was still pretty shaken from what just happened, or…should’ve happened. We almost kissed, he went for it, I closed my eyes and spread my lips but the damn phone rang. It’s my fault. I usually keep my phone on mute but on this particular day I turned it on. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t. The kiss, right here and right now, never crossed my mind. I thought he would leave me where he always does. But he went inside and we almost kissed. We almost kissed! Damn you Victor! But what really left an influence on me was the fact that he smashed his head against mine and breathed out. That was…he felt it too, he shares these feelings as well. This was a good start, sort of. Now we’re walking to the second floor of our building. I was first and he followed me, commenting how dark and cold it was.

Oh, Armie, you have no idea how hot and high I am feeling now that we’re walking upstairs and we almost kissed barely 2 minutes ago. I should enjoy the heat because it will go cold pretty soon. I just hope he doesn’t grow cold on me. Let’s see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	8. The closest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their night continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babess! Here's the next chapter, i couldn't wait to post it. I won't say anything else, just enjoy it, i hope you'll like it. Let me know what you think about it in the comments, and have a great weekend!!

I took a deep breath and unlocked the door. Armie was standing right beside me and hasn’t said a single word since we’ve made it to our floor. I really hope I don’t regret bringing him home, and hope he doesn’t as well.

“Here we go…” I whisper to myself as I opened the door.

We walk in and immediately, I can hear Victor and Jules talking and laughing in the kitchen.

“Victor?” I call for him.

Within 2 seconds, both of them appear in the hallway. Fuck, I wouldn’t want to be in Armie’s shoes right now.

“Victor, Jules, this is…Armie.” I feel so stupid when I introduced him. I don’t like doing that. There are smiles on their faces, Jules seemed more surprised and stunned than happy to meet him.

“Hey, how you doin’?” Armie extended his arm and shook both of Jules’ and Victor’s hand with a smile and such ease. I envied how opened he was.

Jules looked smitten, she blushed instantly.

They said their names and I could sense that the only person that was uncomfortable with all of this was me. Armie seemed fine.

There was a big pizza box on the kitchen table, four plates and four glasses. They told us to sit. Victor took Armie’s jacket, and Armie asked if it was okay that he came in with his shoes on.

“It’s absolutely fine bro. I rarely ever take my shoes off.” Victor says and laughs.

“Then that must be the reason why the couch is always spotless.” I said.

Armie burst out laughing and so did Victor, then he flipped me a middle finger.

“I’m sorry about this. They’re just being…brothers.” Jules tried to make something out of the situation.

“No, it’s fine, I totally get it, I have a brother too, so I know what it was like.”

“Really? A brother?” Wow Jules, calm the fuck down girl. She looked like she was gonna explode when he walked in. And now she’s asking for his brother, hoping he’d look the same or almost like Armie, while still dating my brother, who was right there next to her.

“Yup. Ben. He’s younger than me.”

We finally sat down, and, shocked much, Armie Hammer was the main subject. I sat opposite of him and listened to him tell them what he already told me the past few days. The hardest part was to try and not stare at him. I’d bet Jules and I were competing, but what I knew, deep down, is that she would never do anything to hurt my brother.

After pizza, Victor called me in the kitchen to help him get the ice cream out. This was my chance to talk.

“How did you know?” I whisper and tried to sound serious. I turned around to make sure Armie’s not listening to us.

“Jules saw you today. And I saw you guys yesterday.”

“Fuck.” I muttered to myself.

“Don’t be mad at me man, it’s nice that you’re…”

“I’m not. We haven’t even…kissed…”I tell him.

“Yet?”

“Yes, not yet. We almost did it downstairs and then you called.”

“Seriously?”

I nodded.

“Fuck, sorry man.” I couldn’t read his face, I can’t really tell if he meant it.

“Just…please…don’t make him feel uncomfortable. Please keep questions related to me off the table. I could be wrong about him.” I ask of him nicely.

“Sure, no problem, bro.”

We stopped talking and turned around to get the four ice cream bowls to the table. Jules and Armie were talking about Jules’ job and what she does and everything about it.

I grabbed some ice cream on my spoon and simply couldn’t bring myself to eat it. I felt like crying, I felt like I could scream, I wanted to be as far away from here as possible. My legs and arms went limp and I felt tears gather in my eyes. I can’t do this. This is so much pressure for a kid like me. I don’t know what I want, I doubt I would ever know what’s wrong with me. I just wanted to get away from the table as soon, and as far as possible.

But then I felt someone touching me underneath the table. I rushed to look at him. Armie’s foot brushed against mine and it made me smile. He mouthed the words “You okay?” and raised his eyebrows. I nodded, against my will. My head was pounding and I still felt like crying. I can’t cry in front of a total stranger.

I took the damn spoon and ate it, my chocolate ice cream. God bless you Jules. Even though it was cold outside and snowing, we’ve never not had an ice cream box in our fridge. I took another one as well and I sighed to myself, how could I’ve gotten ice cream all over my lips, all the way to my nose. But when I wiped it off, it wasn’t chocolate, it was blood. Fuck, shit. Of all days, of all times, it had to had happen now? In front of Armie? Fucking hell. My nose was bleeding. I didn’t have the time to think why or why now, I just stood up with a tissue pressed against my nose.

I heard them all commenting that it’s nothing new, that it happens all the time, that I’ll be fine, and then I heard Armie ask me if I wanted any help; he’s so sweet. I was already digging through the freezer, trying to get as many ice cubes as I could reach to wrap the tissue with it and stop the bleeding. Nothing came out of my mouth and I just rushed to my room where, as soon as I hit the floor, I started crying.

Great, tears, blood and snot, perfect. No wonder he doesn’t want to kiss me. I’m disgusting.

This was the moment where I wanted for everything to stop, for everyone to shut up, and for the whole world to disappear. I didn’t want to deal with this, I didn’t want the bloody nose, the exams, school, my brother, my mother, Jules, and even Armie. I didn’t feel ready for any of it. I just wish I could go back to sleep and never wake up. Maybe this was too much but I knew this feeling would pass, like it always does. It’s something I’m used to and I love to fantasize about isolating myself and doing nothing for the rest of my life. Like Holden Caulfield in “The catcher in the rye.”

I knew why my nose was bleeding. The day was pretty hectic and there was a moment when my heart stopped when Armie brushed against my thigh and also when he tried to kiss me downstairs. All of that pressure and adrenaline caused the blood vessels in my nose to bubble up and relax when I thought the whole thing was done. But no. It took the worst moment, the worst place, the worst way. I now realized I left a total stranger to sit with a pair of stranger’s brother and his girlfriend. I’d be pissed if someone were to leave me like that. But I needed time alone.

A knock on my door. It’s probably Jules, checking up on me. I was sitting on the floor next to my bed and the doors were straight in front of me. I was still holding a bloody tissue on my face. Ice cubes were just about to melt.

“Come in…” I speak through the bloody cloth.

“Hey…”

It’s Armie. Of course. He’s here to tell me that he’s leaving and never coming back.

“How are you feeling?” He asks and closes the door.

“Like shit.”

“Don’t…” I can see that he feels bad about me, but there is no need.

“I don’t know what happened.”

“Your brother says it’s a common thing.”

“Yeah…” I nod.

“You’ll be fine then.”

I nod again.

“Mhm…um, I don’t know where Victor put your jacket, you should ask him.” I tell him and press even harder on my nose.

“Why would I look for my jacket?”

“Because you wanna leave and get as far away from me as possible.”

“You have a hell of a big imagination, kid.” He chuckles and says this.

“So I’ve been told…” I hum and smile.

“But I’m not going anywhere.”

“You sure about that?”

He didn’t say a single word, he just turned around and locked the door.

“You need something?” He asked me quietly.

“Yeah, the bleeding stopped. Can you hand me those wet wipes?”

Armie walks over and grabs the wet wipes that were on my night table. If only he knew…if only he knew how many times I’ve used those wet wipes to clean myself after I’ve dumb a load on my body, thanks to him and his scent and his eyes and his voice. He hands them to me, I take on out and he puts them back on the table.

“Thanks.”

I remove the one I’ve held on my face and threw it on the floor, I’ll pick it up later. I wipe my nose with wet wipe. I threw it on the floor, I’ll pick that one up later as well. I left the floor and sat on the bed instead.

Armie’s looking around my room without permission. Guess he’s that free and opened that he can just come in and touch people’s stuff. He looks at the pictures I have there, at some notes, some figures I held onto since I was a kid. His attention got stuck on my bookcase.

“Love this one.” He turned around and showed me the book he was referring to.

“Me too. I’ve read it 3 times.”

“Nice place, kid.” He said. I instantly smiled at that.

“Thanks.” I mumbled it, maybe he didn’t hear me.

Armie then sat next to me and immediately I felt like I was gonna lose it. This is not the first time he’s been next to me, so why am I nervous now all of a sudden? Because not so long ago, we were very close and almost connected our lips. There was nothing but silence between us, the room got quiet pretty fast, those two outside…I didn’t hear them at all. Armie was next to my right, our shoulders were touching, none of us looked at each other. He was trailing his eyes all around the room, I was staring at the floor. I kept waiting for him to say something or do something, or just leave.

It didn’t feel awkward, it felt good, sitting with him in silence, in my bedroom, after having spent the day with him.

What I was certain is that soon, very soon, we were gonna kiss, one way or another, we were gonna kiss. And I didn’t want to wait for it any longer. I’ve been on edge and craving him and his body all day long. This is happening now. And if he’s not gonna do anything about it, I will. So I just went for it, baby steps.

I turned my head over to him and settled my chin on his shoulder. Armie turned his head my way as soon as he felt mine on his shoulder, he hummed in the process, and put his head over mine. He also put his left arm around my waist and was caressing me there, as much as he could, due to the thick fabric of my sweater. This felt so good, this felt so right. We stayed like that for couple of minutes. Because I felt cocky, I put my right hand on his knee. My eyes were closed the entire time. Armie then removed his arm from my waist and put it on my hair and with that I moved my face into his neck. I’m not holding back any longer, this is happening, I might as well just start pouring my soul into his lap.

I inhaled his scent.

“God, you smell so good.” I whispered against his skin, it was warm and his intoxicating smell was evaporating from it.

“You’re the one to talk…” He whispered against my forehead and kissed it. And he kissed it again.

I kissed his neck, I didn’t want to hold this inside anymore.

Armie kept kissing my forehead downwards and I continued kissing his neck upwards until our lips met. We were barely an inch apart. I felt his hot breath, he was shivering, I could sense what he ate and drank only minutes ago, he was warm and he was inviting me in. Our noses touched and we rubbed them slowly against one another. Eyes closed, his too, I checked. My left had flew to touch his face and caress the skin I’ve been dreaming of touching.

“Armie?

I whispered softly into his face.

“Tell me I’m not crazy.”

“You’re not crazy, Tim.” He didn’t hesitate not even for half a second. This flew through his head as well.

“Is this real?” I ask again. I needed to be sure.

“As real as it can get.”

Just because I can’t remember the last time I felt this cocky, I licked his lips, from the bottom to the top and leaned in to connect our skin.

And then we kissed.

When I felt his soft and wet lips on mine, this wave of heath overcame my body and I was losing my shit again. I felt as though my legs were sweating and my arms were numb. Armie never let go of my body, he kept pulling me closer to him as much as we could from that position. I kept caressing his face while our lips were still exploring one another. I hummed absentmindedly, I had to. He smiled into the kiss and I rushed to lick his teeth and he opened his mouth to let me in. Our tongues danced together and I could feel the oh so familiar warmth in my stomach, I couldn’t contain myself, I must’ve look as hungry as I felt, I was biting his lower lip and listening to him hum as a response made chills run down my spine. This was the perfect ending to a perfect day. Armie and I were finally kissing, and I never felt so alive. The way that I felt like shit only 10 minutes earlier seemed to be months or years ago. That time didn’t matter, this was what was important, not the past, not my nervousness, not my bloody nose, not the embarrassing dinner with my brother and his girlfriend. No. This. Him. Him and I. Us. That was the most important thing at the moment and I’d be damned if I let him go. His lips were heavenly soft and he tasted so sweet. My skin was melting, my soul was screaming, I wanted to glue myself to this moment. It wasn’t just about us kissing, it was the fact that he ran after me, asked me if I was okay and if I needed anything, then proceeded to stay here with me while my nose was bleeding like a faucet.

We stopped kissing after some time. When we made a break to breathe just a little, he smashed his lips against my forehead again and kept breathing against it and kissing it without stopping. I’m touching his neck, his collarbones, he squirms at that, guess he doesn’t like it. I’m trying to breathe, but I don’t want to, I like being out of breath because of him, I’d let him take all the oxygen from my body and keep it to himself.

I finally opened my eyes to look at him. Armie looked tired and happy, he was smiling and staring into my eyes. He caressed my cheek again, and pecked my nose once more. He pulled me in for a hug. I was so close to sitting on his lap. He kept kissing my face and I was addicted to keeping my nose against his neck. Armie’s fucking kissing my face! I was sure the fever was coming my way.

We part and look at each other, and smile. He got up first and I just slammed my body on the bed. He kept walking and fiddling with something inside his pocket. He stood against the window and began opening it. I was in heaven, he looked like he knew what he was doing with the window.

“Do you mind?” He asked me as he showed a pack of cigarettes in his hand.

I sat up on my bed again.

“You smoke?” I ask him.

“Um…occasionally…”

I can see that he stumbled with his words, he contemplated whether or not he should take a cigarette and put it between his lips that I just kissed.

“Will that be a problem for us? I can quit if you…” He began.

I got up and joined him in front of the window. He said, for us.

“No! I don’t mind, not at all. Can I have one?”

“Of course.”

I take one as well and he lights it up for me, and then his very own. It was cold outside, but next to him, I seem to forget all about it. I’m radiating from heat thanks to Armie.

We smoked in silence, glaring at each other occasionally.

“So…the nose bleed, was it my fault?” He asked and looked at me.

“Maybe…”I smirk at him.

“What did I do?” He chuckled.

“You just showed up.” I said.

We both laughed. It was amazing how good I felt, how I felt so comfortable next to him. Armie touched my hair and that made me shiver again. Our cigarettes were still burning.

“Come here.” He whispered and pulled me towards him. I shoved my face into his neck again. He was back to kissing my forehead and cheeks, caressing my hair with the hand that was empty. This felt so real, so good, so warm, like home. With my other hand, I embraced his waist.

“Your skin…is so…soft…and warm…” He kept whispering this again and again, while kissing my temple.

I moved my head from his neck and kiss him on the lips again. He’s caught off guard because I could sense he choked on air. I gave the guy some space and waited for him to exhale and then I went back to kissing him. Our cigarettes were still burning, they might’ve already burnt away. I never felt the coldness from the outside world. Armie kept his hand around my waist and so did I.

We part again to finish the cigarettes off, but he held me there against his chest.

“Now that we’re…” He started, he wasn’t looking at me, but I knew that he was blushing, his cheeks were so warm two seconds ago.

“Together?” I finished for him.

“I like that.” He said.

I smiled at him and put my cigarette off.

“Now that we’re together, I wanted to ask you something.”

Oh God, what now? What’s he gonna ask me? I’m nervous, all of a sudden.

“Shoot.”

“You think I can fit in your bed?” He flat out said it.

I frowned. Yes, I was in shock. We just kissed and he already wants us to have sex. Yes, I want him, badly, so badly every muscle in my body aches, and lusts over him. But this is just too fast. If I let him between my sheets this quickly, he’s gonna run off just as fast.

“What?”

“I’m gonna sleep here tonight.” He said. He seemed pretty serious about his own decision.

“No, um…why would you do that?”

“To make sure you’re okay.”

Oh, that warmed my heart, and I wanted to run into his arms and tell him that. My bad. My mind was running wild. When he mentioned the bed, I got scared because I don’t want to lose him so fast.

“I’m fine, I’m okay…”

“Look. I’m gonna make this clear for you; I don’t know you that long or very well, but dude your nose just bled in front of me, and because of me, and you expect me to leave you here like that? Na-ah. I’m staying.” He put his foot down on that. I guess he’s staying over. But only to look after me, which was totally unnecessary. Really, I was fine, better than ever.

“What about Archie?” I asked about the pup. The deal was to just drop me off and go home to him.

“I’ll call Ben to check up on him. The pup’s fine.”

“Armie, there is no need, I’m fine.”

“Okay, maybe not for your nose and not for what you might think I’d be staying and sleeping in the same bed as you, but…I really want to make out with you more.” He looked away when he said that.

“Oh…”

I actually laughed. Now this is new. Guess what Armie, I want that too. Now that we’re…together.

“I think we can arrange that.” I eventually said, he smiled, and felt proud that he won this “argument”.

“So, you think I can fit?”

“I don’t know, we’ll see.”

He sat on the bed, against the wall and I joined him after I closed the window. Guess this is it. Armie’s staying here and is going to sleep in the same bed as me because he wants us to make out more. I want that as well.

“Only…one big issue.” I said after I sat next to him.

“What, Tim?”

“I don’t have anything here that is in your size.”

Armie laughed and choked on his own breath.

“No, don’t worry about that, please. I’m fine like this. Or, you know…if you don’t mind, I could take these off. I’m wearing underwear and an undershirt.” He was very careful with his words. I guess he was being a perfect gentleman, not trying to sound very persistent with me. After all, we’ve known each other for five days only. Wow…five days.

“Whatever you think would be good for you to…sleep in.” I eventually spoke.

Armie was staring at our feet and trying to touch them but even through socks, he couldn’t do much. He then removed himself from the wall and sat at the end of the bed. He took both of my feet and put them in his lap and began taking one sock off.

“Ew, Armie, they’re dirty.”

“Oh, shut up.”

He grabbed my foot and began cracking the knuckles. I hissed when the pain struck me.

“Oh, fuck, ah…” I squirmed as far away as I tried from him.

“Relax, relax.” He said, laughing and still holding my feet.

“I can’t relax. It hurts like hell. Where did you learn to do that?”

Armie took another foot and repeated the process, it still hurt like hell.

“My mom used to do this for us when we were sick. Trust me, it helps.”

“Oh…you’re gonna kill me if you do that.”

“I hope not.”

He stopped cracking the knuckles and brought one foot up to his lips and kissed it.

I didn’t complain about it, it was actually very nice.

“How about we smoke one more and then hit the pillow?” He suggested.

“Sure, I’d like that. But first…call your brother.” I point a finger at him.

“Fuck, you care more about Archie than me.”

“Careful. I can still kick you out of my bed.” I’m trying to be serious…I don’t know if it’s working.

“Which would prove my theory that you like him more than me.”

We both laughed, got up and opened the window again. We smoked the next two cigarettes and continued talking and kissing, occasionally. I was too tired to think or to analyze the day. For the first time in my life, I simply let the things happen and went with it, this was indeed a big thing and I didn’t care. I just let things go. I gave Universe the permission to do its things, and I’ll just sit back, relax and make out with Armie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	9. Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's and Armie's night continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babess!! Here's the next chapter. Enjoy it, i won't say anything else. Hope you'll like it and let me know what you think about it in the comments!!

I don’t remember what time it was when we fell asleep. After we were done smoking, we undressed, each himself, and went to bed. I was sleeping in my pajamas and a shirt, and he slept in his boxers and a white shirt he wore underneath. I gave him my other pillow and, fortunately or unfortunately, I only had one blanket that kept me warm during the cold winter nights. We needed to keep warm because we let the window opened for a while to let the smoke out.

The last thing I remember was him kissing me. That’s all we did. We were making out and making out, non stop. I was able to control myself while being in bed with him, and I could sense that he struggled with himself and his self-control. We’d get into it way too much, he’d tried to top me a few times, and then backed down immediately because he didn’t dare to continue. Because we both knew what is going to happen if we were to keep on going like this. Armie was doing his best not to look like he was there only for sex, he wanted to be a perfect gentleman, which in the end, he was. We would make out for a while and then we’d just fall silent, I bet he was trying to control his boner in a meaning of, to destroy it completely. As we lied there in silence, we were inhaling each other’s scent, me caressing his cheek, him caressing my ear, somehow, by some magical force of the Universe, Armie smelled differently, better, sweeter. It was warm, and he was twisting my curls and caressing my red, hot, boiling cheeks.

I woke up on a Saturday noon alone, and now I was in bed with him.

I was shivering when we lied down. Yes, I was scared, I was scared that if it comes to that and we went that far, we wouldn’t be able to stop it, and I would come across as a kid, an unexperienced kid, and he was…he was everything. I just know there were multiple guys that went through his bed sheets. Lucky guys.

“Relax Tim…I’m not…I don’t want to, not yet that is…I mean…we don’t have to…ever, if you’re not…if you don’t think that…I don’t know…fuck…”

He was stuttering and I rushed to kiss him to make him feel more comfortable.

“Relax, it’s me.” I whisper to his lips.

First we were at a distance, me more than him. I turned away from him and slept on my side. If I ever even slept for a minute…I was so overwhelmed by everything that happened that I continued shivering while he was so close to me, the adrenaline was rushing at the speed of light through my blood stream. I remember thinking how this is too good to be true and that we’re rushing, and if we just stick to this then that’s all that’s gonna be, just this. A casual outing here and there and some making out. I didn’t want to stop it at this, not even at sex, if that’s where we’re heading to, I wanted more. More than this. More than casual stuff. I wanted the real thing, something long term and beautiful, with positive memories.

Every time I’d wake up, and I was waking up quite a bit, I’d see him lying there on his side, his body turned towards me. I would either wake up to go to the bathroom or to just change a position. But in the end, I barely slept. This was way too much for me. One time I went to the bathroom and as I was getting out, I noticed Victor getting into the kitchen.

“Hey.” I said as I walked into the kitchen. He was on his phone and lifted his head when he saw me come in.

“Hey bro. Why are you up?”

He asked and raised his eyebrows. He was hinting at it, wasn’t he?

“No, stop. I can’t sleep.” I said.

“Is Armie there?”

I nodded quickly.

“Is he sleeping?” He asked with a smile. I know that he was happy for me.

I nod again.

“Is he dressed?”

“Stop it. Yes, he is. He’s asleep and dressed, don’t worry.” I said and sat next to him on one of those bar stools.

“I’m not worried one bit, bro. On the other hand, your cheeks are boiling red, dude.”

“Oh, I know.” I said and touched my cheeks. He was right. It was like I was running a fever.

There’s silence among us. Victor’s looking at me and I’m looking at the counter.

“So…did you two…do it?” He asks, carefully.

“No. At least, not yet. I don’t know. I feel like I’m rushing. We only made out. It seems a bit early.”

“Listen, dude, there’s no such thing as too early, or too late. You can be friends with someone for 2 years and still feel a bit unsure when it comes to moving on. And…you can be friends with someone for 2 days and just know it…this is it, this is what I want. He…is the one I want.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” I nod and speak.

“Look…let’s keep this between us, okay? I always change the story because Jules doesn’t want to look like an easy girl, or a slut…those are her words, not mine. But when we met…it wasn’t like I told you, there was never contact in person. We met online and the only thing I remember was…I can’t wait to tell our kids how their mom made her first move by “accidentally” video calling me on Messenger.”

Oh wow. This made me smile and laugh. For all of these years, they’ve been telling us and everyone else how they met at some random party and that it was love at first sight. When in reality, they met like kids do these days.

“There are all types of relationships bro. If you feel good with this guy, and if you like spending time with him, and doing…whatever you like doing with him, and, if he feels the same…then by all means, go for it.”

I nod in silence. He was right. The only reason why I was holding back this much was because we’ve only known each other for 3 days, and that’s only counting the days when we would meet up and talk, hang out and spend time together. It’s been only couple of hours since our first kiss.

“How did you know?” I ask him, looking straight at him. I needed to know.

“I’ve noticed something’s going on with you, and I’ve learned my lesson the last time you were like this, to not pressure you. I saw you in the bakery the other morning, you didn’t see me, and Jules saw you get into his car today. We just put the pieces together and…voila.”

We both smiled. I thought about telling him the whole story but I was drained and too tired to talk about it.

“I should get back.” I say eventually.

I’m on my way when I hear Victor calling me.

“Tim?”

I turn around to listen to what he had to say.

“Relax. It’s not that hard, just enjoy it. Don’t focus on early or late, focus on now and what does your gut tell you.”

I nod again.

“Thanks. Good night.”

“Night.”

And I left him there.

Armie woke up when I opened the door and let the light inside shine directly at him. He looked confused and scared, he didn’t know where he was for sure.

“Hey…” I whispered as I was closing the door and crawling back onto the bed.

“Tim…uh…what time is it?” He’s yawning and stretching inside my bed.

“3 in the morning, maybe.”

“It’s still early. Come back to bed.” His voice is so dreamy. He pats the place next to him.

I lied back down on my pillow. We were both turned to our sides and were staring at each other. The blinds from the window was opened and that’s how we were getting the light inside. His face was shining, his sleepy eyes were slowly falling down, his lips were puffy from all the sleep. My God, he was gorgeous. Armie extended his arm for me to lie there and I didn’t even hesitate. I moved all the way to his neck, he was warm and smelled like a motherfucker. His arm was my pillow, we kissed again, and again, and again, I caressed his face and combed his hair many times, which he enjoyed, I think. My body was embraced inside his the entire time. He kissed my forehead again and before I knew it, it was day, it was morning, and I woke up to the sound of Armie playing videos on Instagram without muting them.

It was Sunday morning and we were left alone again. Jules went out to meet her friends and Victor said in his text that he’ll go elsewhere to work so that Armie and myself could have the place to ourselves. I thanked him, and he replied :” I talked to Jules. She won’t bother you either. We’ll talk tonight.”

“Morning sunshine.” Armie mutters next to me. I switched my phone off and turned towards him.

“Hm, morning…” I’m tired but I’m functioning.

“Sleep well?”

“Uh, yeah, I actually did.”

“How’s the nose?” He asked and bopped my nose.

“Fine. Like I told you it would be.” I say and smile at him.

“Can you blame me?”

“How long have you been up?” I ask him, already taking the control and caressing his cheeks.

“Maybe half an hour.” He answers and nuzzles into my touch. He kissed my finger.

“Victor texted me that they’re not home.”

“Good. I’m starving. I think there’s some left-over pizza from last night.” Armie said and I laughed at that. Of course that the big guy is hungry.

“Let’s see.”

We jump out of the bed together and he stopped me from behind by grabbing my waist.

“Wait, wait, wait…give me a good morning kiss, kid.”

Words got stuck in my throat. I wanted to say all sorts of things, I wanted to react in a certain way but before I even knew what was happening, Armie pulled me towards him and kissed me. I lifted my body on my toes and kissed him back.

I was worried if this is where we’ll stop, or even continue. I was worried he’d look at it as a mistake or something casual, but he didn’t. He called me in for a kiss and grabbed me by the waist.

We ate the pizza, drank coffee and then he helped me clean up. After that, we went to my room where we slept, and chilled for the rest of the day. We had some drinks, something to nibble on and cigarettes.

We lied over the covers, him on his back and me on my stomach, looking up at him, one of his arms went over my back and I was touching his chest with my fingers. We were smoking, sharing one cigarette, laughing at what happened last night and in the middle of the night. We shared some childhood memories and laughed at each other.

And then we fell silent. For a long, long time. I thought that maybe he has fallen asleep.

“So…” He began.

“So…?”

“Have you ever…with a guy before?”

I stopped breathing for 5 seconds. What should I say? If I lie and say no, then he’ll see me as an unexperienced kid, and maybe he wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. But if I say yes, maybe he’ll look at me differently. Let’s try it with the truth.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Really?”

I looked up and nodded.

“You sound surprised.” I said.

“I am. You’re so young to be doing that.”

“I’m not that young, Armie.” I chuckled.

“You’re still just a kid.”

That made me feel uneasy. Why does it matter? I’m really not that young tho.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to offend you or anything.” He said. What a perfect gentleman.

“It’s okay.”

Silence. I wasn’t looking at him, but I could sense that he regretted opening his mouth.

“What about you?” I ask him now.

“Hm?”

“Have you ever done anything with a guy before?”

Now he’s the one who’s not breathing for 5 seconds.

“Few things, yeah.” He eventually says.

I nod and I can see that he’s the one feeling uneasy as well.

“Is this your first relationship with a guy?” I ask him afterwards.

“Um…yeah, yeah.”

Relationship. That’s what I called it. A casual hook up is not the same as a relationship. He must’ve had sex with countless guys and maybe I’m the first one who broke that pattern.

“You?”

“No. I had one relationship with a guy before you.” I said.

“How was it?”

“It was…”

I felt like I was choking. This is the last thing I wanted to go over with him.

“Actually, I don’t want to talk about it. If that’s okay with you.” I looked down, I didn’t want him to see me when something like this is a subject.

“Yeah, sure…are you okay?” He asked.

I nod as I got up to fill in our glasses with soda.

“This is going on a list.” Armie said.

“What list?”

“The list with delicate subjects. I have mine, you have yours. When the time is right…we’ll open the list and talk about those things.”

I nod and smiled.

“Deal, sounds good.”

“Good.”

I hand a glass to him.

“Thank you.” He said and we drank our sodas in silence.

I kind of felt like this is where everything would go to waste. Bringing back past relationships and delicate subjects…it was almost like we were both hiding something that defined us who we were in that moment. He had some issues with his family, I could sense, and I was a total mess after my failed relationship with Miles.

I lied back down next to him on my back, he lifted himself on his side and was supporting his head with his hand.

“I didn’t ask. Are you okay with this…with us?” He asked and began twisting my long curls.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. I’m basically a stranger that ended up in your bed, by force.” He joked and I laughed.

“It’s fine. This is nice, actually. It’s been a while for me.”

He said nothing and grabbed my chin in between his fingers and kissed me. It felt so natural kissing him even if we were to just now meet for the first time. I could go on and kiss this dude forever.

“I have a confession to make.” I say after we’re done kissing. He needs to know, it will make him feel better. I think.

“Say it.”

“I hated you…6 days ago. When you cut in line in front of me in the bakery.” I said it flat out with a beaming smile on my face.

“Really?” He was shocked.

“Mhm. It was a terrible day, and you made it worse. And then you made it all better when we met in the coffee shop.”

“Oh my God…I am so sorry. I know I crossed the line when I cut in, and I know that being in a hurry is not a good excuse…”

“It’s fine…now.”

“I can only imagine what you must’ve thought.”

“Oh, I killed you in my head. I thought that you were a rude jerk.” I admitted. I didn’t feel the need to hide this from him. I knew it would come out eventually.

“Oh, Tim.”

He lied down next to me. Our eyes were bathing in each other’s colors. Green to blue.

“And now?”

“I changed my mind.”

“For the good, I suppose.”

“Oh yeah.”

I smiled and kissed him again.

“Can I tell you something?” He spoke directly after the kiss.

“Oh boy…shoot.”

I can see that he’s coming up with the sentence on the spot and that he was using the words rather carefully.

“I think you’re beautiful, Tim.”

My heart stopped.

“And don’t get me wrong, I’m not all for physical appearance, but my God Tim…I was lost when I saw you the first time. You’re a good looking guy. A beautiful one, don’t take it the wrong way.”

I got chills down my spine.

“Your skin is so soft and it’s evaporating with such warm scent, curls are just so…playful. Your smile just kills me every time you do it, and the green eyes…like I said, I was lost when I saw you the first time.”

I think I’m in love with this guy.

“Hope this doesn’t offend you.”

“Why would it offend me?” I ask.

“Because you’re a guy. And I called you beautiful.”

“It doesn’t offend me, really. It flatters me. Thank you. No one has ever called me beautiful before.” I rush to tell him. No offence what so ever.

“What a tragedy. Such a shame.”

He said and sat up on the bed.

“You’re a good looking guy and again, I know I’m repeating myself…what a gift to the world is that a face like yours attracts all genders.”

I stopped listening, turned around and straddled his lap. I stopped carrying. The fact it was early in the friendship and in the morning…I don’t give a damn anymore.

I pushed him down with my hands on his chest. Attacked his lips without a care in the world. Armie kissed me back eagerly, embracing me and pushing me down onto him. I made sure I sit on his stomach and not on his crotch. We didn’t need another boner battle for sure.

Armie Hammer called me beautiful and said that it was a true tragedy that I’ve never been called that before, also called my face a gift to the world for all genders. I felt so special. No. I felt more than special. I felt like I could own a fucking world with this man by my side. I wanted to give him my all right there and then, with him pinned underneath me. But I didn’t. if I wanted to rule the world with him and have it all, I need to wait a bit.

“Thank you.” I whispered against his wet lips.

“For what?” He asked after he caught up with his breath.

“For making me feel special.”

“Oh, Tim…it’s such a shame that it took a complete stranger to make you feel special. You should go through the entire day, all day, every day, feeling special and called beautiful. Because that’s what you are.”

“Will you do that? Will you make me feel special? Every day, all day?”

“If you’ll let me…yeah, definitely. Try and stop me.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you…” I continued whispering over and over again as I was moving from his lips, down to his neck.

Armie turned us over on the side and I fell asleep again in his arm. God, this felt so right.

_After a while…_

“Tim, Timmy? Wake up.” I felt a hand on my head.

I jump as soon as my eyes flew opened.

“Wha-what’s going on?”

“I’m leaving.” He said and got up to dress himself.

“What? No! Why?”

“I have to be with Archie for a while, and I have a class I need to prepare for in the morning. And you have an exam too.” He said.

“Oh, shit…I forgot…oh my God. So many things happened in the last 24 hours, I completely forgot.” My head was elsewhere, it was floating in the clouds, the last thing I wanted to do is study. Or get out of the bed.

“See? That’s why I need to leave. You need to study and rest, and I need that as well.”

“What time is it?” I ask him.

“It’s 3 pm.”

“Please stay.” I reach out for his hand.

He smiles and simply can’t resist me. This is how I win him over.

“Okay, 5 more minutes.”

“15 minutes.”

“10 minutes.”

“20 minutes.”

“20 minutes, deal.” He said and went back to lie down with me. He embraced me and I continued napping on his chest, his lips were showring my forehead and nose.

Armie left after an hour. I was still alone in the apartment. Breathe in, breathe out, focus, relax, don’t overthink.

When I closed the door behind him after he had kissed me, I slid down and started crying. I couldn’t stop myself. It felt like a years old emotions and memories were coming out of my eyes. I was happy and sad, overwhelmed and nervous, stressed out and relaxed, excited, joyful, beautiful…I was all of it in one person. It’s been a hell of a week for me, a lot of things happened, good and bad, and now that we’re good finally, everything negative just left my body through tears, there was no place for negativity now.

The feeling was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I let a complete stranger into my life and he made me feel so fucking good. Never have I ever felt so grateful and adored and appreciated and good. If I were to choose, I’d choose to keep him here with me forever, let him never leave my side.

After I drained myself, I felt as though there was nothing left inside my body, like all I had left inside was air, no organs, no bones, no blood, nothing, just air. I felt limp and exhausted, as if now that everything is finally good, the weight I used to feel inside my body was now gone forever. The weight inside of me, whatever it was, it was now cured and gone forever thanks to a complete stranger who promised to make me feel special every day, who said I was beautiful, who stayed with me because I had a tiny nose bleed. Everything was happening really fast and I stopped counting the road we already crossed and could only focus on now. I feel so good next to him, I feel comfortable and cocky, courageous, wonderful, I feel like…I feel like I should, I feel good. Finally, I feel good, maybe that’s what was missing, and that’s the thing inside of me, that air, that was buried underneath years and years of unhappy thoughts, memories, people that came in and came out of my life. That god feeling was now rising to the surface and I only have Armie to thank for that. I can’t wait to see him and kiss him again.

After Armie left, I ate something I found in the kitchen, called my mom and talked for about half an hour and spent the rest of the night studying. There was no sign of Armie and I began fearing I won’t hear from him ever again. I wanted to text him just to see what he’s doing or anything really, something basic. But I didn’t. I felt too raw and vile to do so.

And just as I was convinced that people are not capable of reading minds, he texted me.

“How’s studying going?”

I felt like a tone fell of my heart.

“Ugh, it’s going fine, I should be okay for tomorrow.” I text him back.

“You’ll kick ass, I have no doubt.” This makes me smile and I brough the phone to my heart.

“Thank you.” I reply.

10 minutes later, there’s another text.

“Just so you know…you don’t have to worry Tim. I’m not going anywhere. I promise you.”

“You better not.” I text him back and continue studying.

For whatever reason I have this unimaginable motivation and inspiration to study and kick ass like he said. Somehow, at least for me, a boyfriend is a good thing. Mine keeps me in school while others would probably lose their heads over a crush and won’t focus on school. But who ever said I was like everyone else?

I called Armie around midnight to chat for a while as I was packing and getting ready for tomorrow. We’re meeting again after my exam tomorrow. He has class at 2 in the afternoon. We’ll meet in between.

I feel too happy and too satisfied to even push a hand down my boxers again. Tonight, I’m floating on love, appreciation and respect and I’m enjoying every second of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	10. Hot and cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie meet up again. Some secrets are about to come out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! Okaaay, drama on the way, just a little warning. You didn't really think i'd let this go drama-free?? Things are getting pretty serious pretty fast between the boys so a tiny drama is normal.  
> Hope you'll enjoy this chapter and let me know your thoughts in the comments.

My lucky week broke its pattern. 

On Monday morning, I woke up when my alarm went off. The night before I went to bed late at around 3 am; I spent 3 hours talking with Armie. Basically, we were inseparable, physically and mentally. I was a bit scared how will my day go off with the fact that I woke up exactly on time and not a minute earlier like the previous week. Every day I woke up before the alarm and what an amazing week it was. But I had Armie on my side and that was a real triumph for me. Nothing else mattered. I turned my alarm off and chilled in my bed for some time. I brought the pillow on which he slept on to my nose and inhaled it. His scent was fading away but it was there. I hugged it and smiled because I remembered we were supposed to meet pretty soon. I have an exam at 10 am, after that he’ll come and pick me up and we’ll be together until 2 pm, that’s when his class begins.

I got up, got dressed and went to the kitchen. Jules was there, working on her laptop. I threw a good morning at her and told her that I was heading out to the bakery.

The bakery was warm and empty. It was 08:45, no people but there was plenty of food. I got the usual for them but I made a change for myself and got a hot sandwich for me. Outside it was just cold, the snow finally tied down a bit.

I went back and Jules was exactly where I left her. We sat there and ate, and after that she made us coffee. I could sense she was staring at me when she thought I wasn’t looking. I just know she’s dying to know and wants to ask the question.

“Okay, say it.” I finally said it when I sat back down.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Come on. Better get this now off the way. I can see you’re dying to ask.”

“Okay, fine…are you two…?”

I nod at her. She smiled from ear to ear.

“Tim, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you.” She’s still smiling, she really was genuinely happy for me.

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“I saw you yesterday get into someone’s car, I didn’t know it was him. And I told Victor, he told me he’s seen you with him already and we put the puzzles together.”

“Yup, he told me already.” I said.

“You didn’t…?”

“No. Not yet at least.”

“How is he? Towards you?” She asks, she’s leaned onto the counter as we were talking.

“He’s…perfect. Kind and sweet.”

“Then that’s all that matters.”

I nod in agreement with her, she’s right, there’s nothing more important than him being nice towards me.

We talked for a while after that, then we had our breakfast and drank the coffee. Later on, I went back to my room and went over what I studied for this exam one last time. When I was done, I got dressed and went to the subway station. With the last brain cell in my body I was actually hoping that Armie would pop up out of no where, in his fancy car, and drives me to the school. But there was no sign of him. Speaking of the devil, he texted me just as I was about to hop in on a subway. He wished me good luck and asked if we were still on for later. I thanked him and approved the date. Yes, I’m gonna call it a date now.

We’re dating, deal with it.

In school, I was hanging around with couple of my friends. There’s a party on Friday and they’re all going, they invited me so I said yes, why not, it’s been a while since I went out. The exam went well, I wasn’t as sure about it as I was the previous couple of times. I blame the alarm. I had a gut wrenching feeling that something bad is just around the corner, only because I woke up on time.

We all parted when the exam ended.

I look around to find him, the fog isn’t helping at all. But then I hear him honk twice and I find my way towards him. I opened the back door to leave my backpack and took my jacket off. He’s already smiling at me as I walked in the front and pulls me in for a kiss. I latch onto his lips on my own and I refuse to let go, even when his jacket got caught up at something. I couldn’t care less if someone were to see us, and neither did he. But I’d rather keep this as private as possible. We kiss some more, I can’t separate from those lips, his beard is tickling me little bit.

“Where to, sir?” As soon as I let those words fall out of my mouth, I remembered him in my fantasy and me referring to him like this.

“My place.” He said and put it in gas.

His place…

“How was the exam?” He asked while we were driving over to his place.

“Good, I think I did it good. I’m not so sure if I got everything right, but we’ll see…”

“You’ll pass.”

He said and took my hand in his. Then he brought it up to his lips and kissed it. My stomach was filled with such warmth and happiness. Then he kept it on his chest and caressed the skin. When we were at a stop light, he turned towards me, and I to him, we smiled at each other. We looked like a legit couple.

We arrived at his place within 5 minutes. I’ve never been inside, just outside of the building. We take an elevator upstairs, holding hands... He lives on the 5th floor. Floor number 5, door number 16. He doesn’t let go of my hand and just slams me against the door and attacks my neck just as we were about to walk in. My knees were losing their balance and I let out a soft moan. That made him stop and he looks at me. He kisses my lips instead and my boiling cheeks.

“Welcome! Make yourself at home, kid.” He says and moves to another room.

“Thanks grandpa!” I yell back at him as I was putting my backpack and jacket off in the hallway.

“Little shit…” I heard him mutter.

I look around, it’s a very big place, tall walls, a lot of book shelfs filled with books and stuff, there’s the infamous TV in the living room. He’s got the view that it was just to die for. It’s big, it’s nice, he’s got space and some taste for sure.

Archie was there to welcome us. He misses Armie and jumps all over me.

My eyes were instantly glued to the books he had on his desk, that was used as a writing desk or something.

“Whatcha doing there?”

“Just…looking around.”

“You found something you like?”

I smile to myself and turn around to face him. Instantly, I latch around his neck.

“Oh yeah.” I whisper.

This is a call for attention.

His arms rushed to embrace me around my waste as he pulled me towards him. Armie smiles down at me and kisses my nose, many, many times. I didn’t get the kiss I begged for with my eyes and with my body pushing into his, almost as if I was trying to melt into him. He goes go the kitchen and I follow him there.

“Wanna drink something?” He asked me when I walked after him and smashed my body into his, embracing him from the behind. Small kitchen, he doesn’t need it much.

“Whatcha got?” I mutter into his sweater. He’s so well fit and has muscles. Good Lord, don’t let me be the one who’s gonna smash him.

“You want soda, water, beer…?”

“Soda, please. Where are the glasses?” I ask him.

“Up there. I’ll get them down.” He points the finger to a high shelf. Really? That high?

“No, no, I will.”

As much as I wanted to reach them I couldn’t. Armie appeared behind me and brushed his crotch against my butt. Oh God, I wanted to scream for him to take me on the spot. I had to wonder how many guys did he bring here like he did with me, and banged them on the door step. I must be pretty special because I still had my clothes on. And as much as his smile would melt me, I just know that once he’d switch to serious, I would die and submit to him immediately.

He takes two glasses and pours some soda in them. He hands me one, I thank him and we’re off to the living room.

We sit on a sofa and Archie jumps right next to me.

“He adores you.”

“I can see that.”

“He’s not the only Hammer that feels like that.”

I giggle and flash every red color known to mankind when I heard those words come out of his mouth. He nuzzles into the sofa and pulls me towards him. For some reason, he loves smelling my hair and he does it very often. It’s quiet, I can only hear the bubbles in my soda glass popping. I wanted to ask him about his previous hook ups with guys, just so I could mark how experienced he really is and what I have to do to match up to them.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” I said, directly, confidence that was inside of me was now on fire.

He’s not saying anything. I look up at him and found him staring in one spot. He looks sad, like there’s something bothering him.

“Armie?”

He wakes up from whatever he was thinking about.

“You okay?”

He nods instead.

“Is there something wrong? Did I do some-…”

He cuts me off and pulls me even closer to him.

“No, no. Don’t even go there. You’re…you’re perfect.”

He breathed out and kissed my head. Funny, just hours ago, this is how I described him to Jules.

“We’re just gonna chill for a bit. Then I’ll take you home, and I have to be at 2 at the University.” He said.

“What about tomorrow?” I ask him.

“I have a class at 10.”

“I have an exam at 08:30. You can come over at night. I’ll study until then and then we can hang out.” I suggest.

“Sounds good, Tim.”

We still had the time. Can I jump his bones now? While he’s siting like that? I can jump onto his lap and just let him take me there. The dog will go somewhere else. Or I could get on my knees and try my best to bring my fantasy to life. All of this I would do to satisfy the both of us, it was hard for me to think straight and contain this burning desire I had inside me, and my crotch.

“Look Tim…ah…I have something to tell you.” Armie says and I gets up into a sitting position immediately.

He looks upset and distressed. Oh boy, what is this now?

“And I’m only saying this because I think you should know. I really hope you won’t hate me now.”

Why would I hate him?

“Okay, Armie, just…just tell me and let me make my own conclusion.”

“I had a girlfriend, Sarah. Very recently. I broke up with her on Saturday, just two days before we met. The relationship was already shaky and I think I was just counting the day when I’ll just end it. And I did. We’ve been together for about 7 months.”

He said it in one breath which kind of looks like he was preparing the speech, or he was just too eager to get it all out. But a girlfriend? This guy? Armie? His penis in someone’s…vagina? Guess I was wrong the whole time. It looked bad. I came off as a rebound. A toy. What am I to make of this? How am I gonna deal with this? He had a girlfriend up until seven, eight days ago, and we’ve been “together” for the past four days. Either he’s not in love with her, or never was, or he’s just a ruthless jerk that loves to play around. And there’s number three; he’s sexually confused.

“You just broke up with her and two days later you moved on to me?” I sat back all the way away from him.

“I know how that sounds but…”

“But what?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to say. I just wanted you to know.” He kept saying that. Why did I even need to know? Was something gonna happen?

“What? That you broke up with her and now I’m a rebound for your past relationship? Armie I never asked for that.”

“No, no, no, it was nothing like that.”

He’s done. I’m quiet. We were so good a second ago, cuddling and kissing, and talking and chilling, and now he threw this bomb at me. I need air. What the fuck was I even thinking? Letting a complete stranger in my life and he screwed me up like this. God, I’m so stupid.

“Listen um…I need some time, okay?” I said.

“Okay. Good.”

“I need time to think about everything. I’m now questioning who the fuck are you.”

“I’m me. I’m the guy you’ve gotten to know over the past week. I’m the guy who spent a night sleeping next to you, watching over you to make sure to not to get your nose bleed again. There is no charade. I promise you.” Armie grabbed my hands in his. He really does look tortured.

“Yeah, yeah, I don’t know. I need time.”

“I’m sorry it had to go this way, I was feeling guilty about it. I didn’t want you to find out about this from anybody else but me, but I just wan-…”

“You just wanted me to know, I get it. I need time and space to think about all of this.”

“Please call me. When you figure things out. Please. Or if you just want to hear me out.” He said, almost as if he gave up and was tired of fighting this.

“I wish you never told me.” I flat out admitted.

He didn’t say anything.

“Okay. I have to go now.” I said and got up, already looking for my jacket and my backpack.

“Okay, let’s go.”

“What?”

“I’ll drive you.” He said.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll walk.”

“I am not letting you go on your own. Don’t talk to me, despise me, but I need to make sure you made it home safely.”

“I don’t despise you, Armie, it’s just…what a change of events. We were fine a minute ago and now you’re telling me that you’re…what? Straight? Playing with me? A kid, a stranger?”

“I resent that Tim! It’s not like that. I don’t know what I am, okay? But all I know is that I really like you, and I love spending time with you. She’s out of my life, I promise you.”

My heart was racing when he said all those things. I believe him, I really do, but I need time, and space.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just…it’s too much for me. It’s all too much, too soon.”

“Do you like me Tim?” He asked me and came one step forwards. I’d kiss him if I could.

“Yes! Very much.” I fired back.

“Good. Because I really like you too. And I could see us working out and being together. Don’t you?”

“I do.” I whispered.

I smashed my forehead into his chest and he hugged me.

“But I need time, okay. This is just too much for me, and I need time to think and figure things out. I know you think you got it all figured out, but I think you need time as well. You just moved on from one gender to the other. You need time to think as well.” I said as I pulled away from him.

“Okay, I get that. The things is…I don’t need time to think, I’m done, I’m over it. Trust me, I’m not the guy to throw away a 7 month old relationship out the window just like that but as much as I love spending time with you, and like you…I don’t miss it, with her. It was such a casual relationship, and in the end, everything just came down to us being just friends with some love moments. I don’t know. I just…I don’t want you to think that I’m insensitive and a jerk because of all of this. I know I come off as one but…I don’t know. It was a clean breakup, and when I saw you…I was done, like all of my questions were answered in one morning in the bakery.”

He’s silent, I’m listening to him. I have the need to hug him but I can’t, I need to look upset.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

Dead silence as we were getting ready, dead silence in the elevator, dead silence on the ride home. And just an hour or so ago we were inseparable.

“We’re here.” He says and wakes me up from my daytime thinking.

I looked to my right and saw the building, I was home.

“Thank you.” I’m being polite.

“You’re welcome.” So was he.

“Goodbye Armie.” I said as I got out.

“No.”

He said and I turned around to look at him.

“People who say goodbye never see each other again.” Armie said.

“Not true.”

“I don’t want to risk it.”

My eyes were already filling up with tears.

“I’ll see you later Tim.” He said instead.

“Later Armie.”

I closed the door and rushed inside. I can’t do this. What was I even thinking?

As soon as I walked inside the building, I began crying. It was still aching me that we went from one mood to the other so fast. We were so good and so close to moving forwards and now this happened. I got up to the apartment and went straight to my bedroom. The pillow was waiting for me, the pillow with his scent. And after I was done crying, realized something; I’m not upset at all. I’m not mad that he had a girlfriend just recently, I really appreciate that he told me, that he felt the need to tell me because he didn’t want to hide it. I trusted him, I didn’t see the reason why I shouldn’t. If it were the other way around and a male is switched with a female then that would make some sense. He promised to be here and to make me feel special every day, this is not just sex for him. It all created a perfect image of him in my head. He was a virgin, he never had a boyfriend, he had issues with his family and I bet it was because of this. This guy was not ashamed of who he was, he wanted to go deeper than this. And with me.

The thing that got to me was that we were totally fine the entire afternoon and all of a sudden…there were ghosts from his past. I can say that the situations were almost similar; I had relationships before, bad relationships, not as recent as he did, but he told me just to let me know. Maybe I really am that special. When a guy like him goes from a girl to a guy within couple of days…I don’t know. It stinks. And I took his family into consideration, he doesn’t want to talk about them at all. Wonder how big of an affect did they have onto his love life. If a guy, who’s had hook ups with other guys, and real relationships with girls, what does that make him? Whatever it does, it’s not good. Since he’s hiding the people of the same sex as him and displaying the ones with the opposite sex. It’s fishy and all I wanted to do in that moment was to call him and hear him out. But he had a class, and I had my own stuff to think about.

I’m gonna let both of us cool down for one day, then I’ll act tomorrow. I need to sleep and study, and he seemed really upset about all of this. I understand why he told me, and I respect that. I’m gonna fight my ass off for his ass and him, nothing is going to stop me. If he’s really done with that girl, and he’s serious about us…then I’m all in. I just need to hear him out. I can’t wait to hear his voice again tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that we've gotten deeper into Armie and his past, some secrets did come out, some will come out later, but i assure you that everything will work out eventually.   
> Next chapter is coming soon,  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	11. I blame the alarm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of the same day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! Because it was such a good day, and because i'm free for the next three days, i'm gonna treat all of you and myself with this new chapter. Since i'm free, i'm gonna do nothing else but sleep and write. I am currently so damn exhausted, I've been up for 22 hours now but it was all worth it. Anyway...we had some drama in the previous chapter, let's see how it all works out in this one. Enjoy it, i hope you like it and let me know what you think in the comments.

I woke up around 6 that evening. My eyes were puffy and my head was pounding. I checked my phone; nothing from Armie. Guess he’s really gonna give me the time and space I asked for. But I’ve never felt sadder like this. And what a fucking change of the events! I was so happy in the morning and now I’m questioning who is this guy. I could see that there’s something deeper than just this. He’s being tortured by something else. Something like this tears a person apart. Going from one person to the other, feeling more comfortable with someone you shouldn’t have. It raises a lot of questions inside one person’s mind, it can drive a man crazy for sure. That’s why I never stopped and questioned my sexuality. I was and still am attracted to both genders and it feels good. Right now, I’m more into Armie than the gender, I couldn’t care less if his genitals hang or not, I love spending time with him, I love talking to him, listening to him, basically, I love being with him and around him. But at the end of the day, I feel sorry for the guy. I feel like a jerk now that I told him that I wished I never knew. Not true. I’m glad that he told me. Imagine if he kept it a secret and suddenly, I find out that he’s…I don’t know what he is, I doubt he knows it too. Maybe we both need time and space to figure this out. But we both love spending time with each other, and I trust him completely. Maybe there’s something to it. Why would he flat out admit that he had a girlfriend and looked and felt guilty if he wasn’t serious about us? It’s too much to think about. I’ll talk to him tomorrow, I better not make some crazy scenarios in my head until then.

I got up and got straight to studying. Fortunately, it went well, I didn’t get much distracted and managed to finish everything until 11 pm. After that, I opened our texts. I want to text him, to hear him out, to listen to his voice. I wanted the guy I deeply cared about to call me, text me, show up at my door. But, I wanted to show off and ask for time and space, when in fact…I really wanted him by my side, regardless of what just happened.

I switch the phone off, then on, I open our texts, I dial his number and all I need to do is press the green phone. I switch it off again, then on, open texts, dial the number, then off, on, texts, number, off, on…this went on for some time.

I hate this game. I hate all of this. I hate that there was some random ass person out there who made this rule. Hey, dude I need time, but in the mean time, you can’t call me, nor will I call you. Someone was stupid enough and shared to the rest of the world that when something like this occurs, you can’t just move pass by it, you must get to the bottom of it. And I’m one of those idiots that listened to that rule and followed the dumb game. I wish that I could just call him and hear him out, move on with our lives and just forget about this.

Here’s a fun fact : you actually can do that.

But I don’t want to. I’m tired and sleepy. I’ve been studying for hours after I woke up. His guilty face sparkled in front of me. I can just see that he was tortured by this and was feeling very bad. Wonder how long was he planning on hiding this for me? Or I should look at it differently. How long was he thinking about telling me this. I should cut the guy some slack. I don’t know how to feel and what to think. 36 hours ago we were sleeping in the same bed where I was just contemplating whether or not should I call him.

No.

I won’t.

I’ll do it in person.

I’m gonna head over to Colombia after my exam and talk to him. I need to hear him out. And then I’ll figure out what I’m gonna do. But I would damn myself and him for the rest of our lives if we end it tomorrow. I’m not gonna let that shit happen.

I blame the alarm.

The next morning, between my eyes opening first and the alarm, there was barely a second apart. Okay. I’ll count this as “before: the alarm. It was 07:30. I told Victor and Jules the night before that I won’t be going to the bakery in the morning. Right now, I wasn’t really hungry or in the mood to get out into the cold morning.

Still nothing from Armie. I just hope I’ll be able to find him and talk to him. I’d rather do it in person. If they’re legit done, then I can tolerate this. But this guy just ended a relationship with a girl…that’s a big deal.

I went to school, kicked another exam and took a cab to Colombia University.

I’m gonna remember this as the boldest move I ever made in my entire life.

The University is so fucking huge. I got lost two times and eventually gave up and asked for directions. A girl pointed me to where I can ask for professors. Wonder if she had any class taught by Armie. And if she did…did she survive? His voice was dreamy enough to finish a single person. I walk inside and go straight to where she told me, and found myself next to a big round counter. There was a lady working there. I’ll ask her.

“Excuse me?”

“Yes, how may I help you?” She smiles at me. Thank you, I needed some kindness today.

“I’m looking for a substitute professor. Armie Hammer? Is he in today?”

She nods and stand up to show me where to look for him.

“Go left here, then straight and at the end of the hallway you’ll see an office with 516. He’s there.”

“Thank you so, so much.”

“You’re welcome.”

I go left and straight and look for 516. I found it immediately. There was no name there on the glass door, so I just knocked.”

“Come in!” It’s him. It’s his voice. I missed it so much.

I walk inside and see him standing by the window, holding some papers in his hands. He was alone. Good.

“I hope this doesn’t make me look desperate.” I said.

He turns around and his eyes widened when he realized it was me. His smile is back.

“Tim…hi…” He breathed out, clearly shocked that I showed up.

“I asked around and they pointed me here.” I said.

“I was just about to finish.”

“Good.”

I stood there by the door, two meters was the distance between us.

“Can we talk?” I ask him as he was gathering his stuff.

“Did you think it through?”

I nod and make two big steps towards him. Without a care in the world I jump into his hug and latch onto his neck like I did the day before. His strong arms hug my waste and he lifted me off the ground.

“I am so happy to see you.” He whispered in my hair.

“We saw each other yesterday.” I joke against his cheek. I teased him for this and yet I was the one who started missing his voice 5 minutes after he dropped me off the day before.

“I know. And I missed you. And your smell.”

I have a smell?

“I missed you too.” I breathe out against his neck and kiss the skin. I’m not ready to kiss his lips until truth comes out of them.

“Wanna go to my place? I’m alone.” I suggest after we part.

“Sure.”

Armie gathered his stuff, got his dark blue jacket on and we were off. He threw “Later” at everyone he saw. I love how he didn’t care that I was with him in public, wonder what he would say if someone were to ask him who am I. if he says “friend” I can live with that, we are friends, after all. It wasn’t like this with Miles. One time, someone asked him who was I and he said that he doesn’t know me or is not sure if he could spell my name right. And to think that the night before I let him come into my mouth.

We’re silent when we’re looking for his car in the parking lot.

“How was the exam?” He asked me as he was unlocking the car door.

“How do you think?”

“I never doubted in you kid.” I love it when he calls me that.

“Thanks grandpa.”

“Okay, that…” He started but stopped, we both laughed.

We jumped into his car and began our drive to my place.

It was a lucky guess but it turned out to be true, I was indeed alone.

He doesn’t think twice when he’s already making himself comfortable by taking his shoes and jacket off. I didn’t even lock the door and he’s already behind me, waiting for me to turn around so that he could attack me.

“Armie…I am not turning around until you move away. We’re here to talk, nothing more.”

“You got it. Whatever you say.”

I trust him and when I turned around, he was on his way to sit down on the couch.

“You want something to drink?” I ask from the kitchen.

“Ummm…I don’t know. Some juice is fine.”

Juice.

I pour something I found there and hand it to him. He thanked me.

“Okay, talk.” I spill it out.

“Nothing much really. I told you already. We’ve been dating for about 7 months, we didn’t live together, never planned anything for the future. But now it’s over. It was a clean break up, we both agreed to it.”

“Did you love her?” I asked him after I realized I’ve been silent for some time.

“I cared about her, I liked her, but you…ah…it’s not like you, Tim. I’m addicted to you. I can’t get you out of my head.”

I smiled.

“I know how you feel.” I spoke eventually.

“I saw you there, at the bakery, then at the coffee shop, and I looked into your eyes and…and my stomach fucking jumped. I couldn’t get you out of my mind, kid, I was losing it. It all became so clear when I saw you the next day and felt that same thing all over again. That’s when I decided that it was a good thing that we broke up.”

“How did she take it?”

“She felt it was the right decision for the both of us. There was not much between us, we cared for each other…maybe that’s it.”

“What did you tell her was the reason you were breaking up?” I ask him.

“I think…we’ve distanced ourselves from each other, and I believe none of us wanted to spend any more time in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. That night, I just said that I think it’s time we broke up. She was silent at first and then agreed. I think we were both relieved a lot that it was the end, but maybe we were too stubborn to do or say anything earlier. But Tim, I didn’t want to spend another day somewhere where I wasn’t feeling good. Now I feel good. With you.”

“Did some feeling towards other gender get involved?”

“Partly. But as you can see I’m still exploring that.” He said but I frowned.

He drank his juice in one go.

“Armie, aren’t you…gay?” I had to ask.

“No. I mean…I don’t know. Maybe. But I can’t really say because I didn’t have much experience with guys before.” He flat out admitted this. I was shocked, a little.

“So…you and…other guys you mentioned?”

“A lie. Well, not technically a lie. There was one guy. I only ever kissed one guy before, when I was 17. And I never explored anything deeper than that. Then I had girlfriends, again and again. But nothing with a guy. You’re my first real…relationship. I don’t know if I’m gay or just in love but it’s you, for sure. I want you. That is…if you’ll still have me.” He looked over at me and smiled. He seemed smitten.

“So, you’re a virgin?” I asked with a wide smile.

He nodded.

“I’m a lucky guy.” I said proudly.

“In what way?”

“I’ll be your first. That is…if you’ll still have me.” I smirked at him.

“Always. Just…I don’t know shit about…guys and doing stuff with…guys.”

That would be the least of his concerns.

“But I did hear that the sex is better.” He added.

“Mind-blowing.” I admitted and raised my eyebrows at him.

He smiled as well and grabbed my hand to bring me closer to him. I fell into his arms like nothing ever happened. Either I’m that desperate or he has some sort of magnetic powers. Or…we’re getting somewhere.

“So, you’re done with her, 100%?”

“200% done.”

I’m looking into his eyes, trying to be as serious as possible.

“I was always curious. I had to burry those thoughts while I was going through life. And then I met you and it was like…every single thought and feeling kind of broke through and was out in the open. I never had sex with a guy, I don’t know the rules, I’m such a dumb guy when it comes to this stuff.” He said.

“So in the end…it is because of me, guys I mean?”

“No, it’s not. It’s because of me. And I reacted the way I did because I saw you and you awoke something inside of me and I refused to keep it hidden and locked.”

So it is because he’s sexually confused, but not directly.

“I thought, this guy is so fucking perfect, everyone must be falling under his feet to try and get his attention. And then you tell me…people haven’t been worshiping you your whole life, and I’m shocked and disgusted. But at the same time, it makes me happy because I can have you all to myself.”

He’s a smooth talker.

I adjust myself so I could kiss him. Armie swallows my lips like there’s no tomorrow. After he has finally given me my lips back, we caress our noses together. It’s quiet again.

“I wouldn’t talk about any of this if I wasn’t serious about us Tim. You need to know that. It’s been eating me up inside and you did deserve to know, so you could see where I stand when it comes to relationships.”

I nodded.

“I know. I get that, and I appreciate it. I don’t…regret knowing now. But I bet there’s more to it and I bet you aren’t really ready to talk about it.” I said, he nods.

“Exactly. And I appreciate you giving me time and space to talk about this. Or at least, for helping me get to the bottom of this, this…inside of me. I’m not confused, but I’m not totally sure if I like only men or only women. What I do know is that I like you, I really do.” He said and that made me smile.

“I like you too Armie.”

“It’s just us kid, I promise you. In this Universe and in every other.”

“Oh, you bastard…”

We started making out, I fell on the couch on my back and pull him on top of me. Finally, I can feel the weight of his body on top of mine. It’s magnificent. He’s trying to contain himself as to not suffocate me, or to take another step further without any information, or my permission.

“Armie, I…I don’t…not yet, at least.” I breathe into his lips.

“Oh, got it…I agree…” He pecks my lips again and we get up.

“You busy today?” I ask him as I was adjusting my sweater.

“Um, no, I’m free for the rest of the day.”

“Wanna nap with me?”

This is my ultimate act of worship. I’m asking him to nap with me. It’s my holy activity and I share it with nobody. But he’s worth it. And I met his dog, so it’s basically the same.

“Of course, babe.”

I’m dying. He called me “babe”, I’m in heaven.

“But I’m not gonna stay long. You need to study.”

I nod and smile at him. He remembered my schedule.

We move to my bedroom, and without hesitation, I walk up to him and start taking his sweater off, over his head, as much as I can reach. We end up giggling because even after lifting on my toes I manage to do it somehow. He has a shirt underneath it. I grab his belt and undo it, I let him to the rest.

“About the sex thing.” I start talking as he was taking my clothes off now.

“Yeah?”

“There’s other stuff we can do. Until you feel like you’re ready to do the big thing.”

“Like?” He’s intrigued.

“Um, I don’t know…blowjobs, hand jobs, heavy petting, phone sex…”

“I’m in. For all of those things.” He says and finally I’m standing there with an undid belt and my sweater taken off.

We jump into the bed together and embrace each other. I can’t remember the time when I fell asleep but it was pretty soon, almost as soon as I nuzzled into his neck and inhaled his scent.

He said, in this Universe, and in every other. This just proved I found my person, and that I’m gonna do my best to fight off everything that gets in my way, in our way, of our happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took one line from WTFock, i had to, it's the best line Sander ever said.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	12. The heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie are trying something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovies!! I promised i would do nothing but sleep and write, and that's exactly what i did. I finished 4 chapters in total, i'm so hyped about writing more and more. Enjoy it, i hope you'll like it, it's the kind y'all love. Let me know what you think about it in the comments.

Armie left around 4 in the afternoon, an hour after we woke up. I felt so numb and drugged when I opened my eyes and saw him next to me. The tiredness overpowered me and I could barely move my limbs to get up. He said that this was the best nap he’s had in a while, next to the person he really cares about. I remember falling asleep with him next to me, breathing deeply and kissing my forehead.

“I’ll call you later. Study hard now, babe.” He said at the door and kissed me. I felt really sad that he was leaving. I pushed my body against his, I wanted to feel him rub against me. We weren’t that far away from being this close.

One minute later, Victor and Jules walked in, they said he ran into Armie on the stairs. Since Jules took some time off from work, and Victor was done with his classes and only had 3 exams left, they booked a hotel on a country side for the rest of the week. They get to relax, while I still have two exams of my own left. They said that it’s time they took some time off, and also because of me.

“Now that you’ve got someone, the place is all yours.” Victor said as they were packing. Nobody invited me, and if they did, I would say no.

They left around 7 pm and I was all by myself. I’m not like all the people who do some crazy ass shit as soon as they were left alone. I decided to study first, tomorrow is Wednesday, I’ll scratch one exam tomorrow, and the one I have left on Friday. Technically, I would have three days to myself and every afternoon as well.

I listened to Armie and spent hours studying. Tomorrow was Wednesday, then I’ll have Thursdays free. I was dope around 11:30 pm, and just fell onto my bed, too tired to get up, shower and go to sleep.

Not a minute later, my phone rang. It was Armie.

“Did you finish?” He asked me. His deep voice sounded so mesmerizing over the phone. I wanted to ask him to talk to me until I fall asleep.

“Mhm…”

“Ready for tomorrow?”

“Always.” I breathe out.

“You sound tired, babe.”

Babe…my stomach was filled with warmth, again.

“I am. I need to shower and go to sleep.”

I yawned.

“Oh, by the way, Jules and Victor just left for their trip to the countryside. I’m gonna be all alone for the rest of the week.”

“Oh, time alone, huh babe? Wonder how you can use that.”

“I’m too tired to think, honestly.” I yawn again.

Armie sighs.

“You can pick me up tomorrow after my exam, I finish at around 11. We can hang here, watch a movie…or…” I suggest, basically inviting myself into his car, but what the hell…

“Or…I like the sound of that.”

“Oh you do, don’t you?”

We laugh and I can hear him breathe out.

“Are you in bed?” The way his tongue dances around those words, I was ready to pass out.

“I’m on the bed.”

Silence, I can hear him breathing deeply, or that’s just him breathing normally over the phone.

“Would you mind getting into your bed?”

“Um, sure. What do you have in mind?” I ask and unwillingly get up.

“I thought about what you said. You know…doing other stuff before having sex for real.”

“Mhm…” I stopped and smiled. Suddenly, I’m not so tired, I like where this is going.

“Maybe we could start that…now.”

“Phone sex?”

“Yeah, that.” I can hear that he was feeling rather embarrassed by saying it like that.

“Armie, you need to say it out loud if you mean it.” I chuckle and speak.

“I want us to have phone sex Tim, now.” Oh, someone put his foot down.

I smile to myself, I win. Guess we’re having phone sex.

“Gimme a second.”

I put the phone down and undressed myself completely. I had wet wipes near me, nothing on me, just me and the phone. But then I had an idea. I jumped out of my bed, grabbed my earphones and put them on. This way, the phone can be next to me while my hands do other things.

“Armie?”

“Yeah, babe?” He breathed out.

“You hear me good?”

“Perfect.”

“Great. I put my earphones in, that’s why I ask.” I said.

“Smart kid.”

I don’t think I will ever get tired of him calling me smart, or a kid. Now, this way, I can scream as much as I want to.

I take a deep breath and push a hand down there and cup my cock. I let out a soft whimper.

“You touching yourself babe, mm?” He breaths out.

“Are you?”

“I have been even before I called.”

That’s why his voice sounded so juicy.

“You must’ve had something on your mind since you called. Some sort of fantasy Armie?” I said, I love to tease him like this.

“So, do you. I would love to hear it, babe.” He whimpers himself. I wish I was there with him to see him touching himself.

“Only if you tell me yours first, Armie.”

He’s silent. He’s breathing deeply.

“Nothing, really?” I ask him and roll my eyes.

Silence again. I can hear a moan, I’m hard instantly. I can picture him lying naked and touching himself, listening to my voice.

“Okay, I’ll you mine then, you pussy.”

Armie hums, he’s not gonna be ready for this.

“It’s simple, you come into my room, at night, wake me up and you fuck me very, very hard.” I breathe out, just to tease a bit more. I start stroking myself, slowly, this may take a while. Or not…

“Oh, Tim…ah…” He moaned.

I need to remind myself that he’s a virgin, he never touched a guy before, he’s never been inside a guy before, he’s never let a guy inside of him before. That makes my cock twitch in my hand.

“Are you touching yourself?” I breathe out and moan.

“Mhm…I like the scenario in your head babe…” He moans too.

“I wish I was there, looking at you touching yourself thanks to my fantasy.” God, I’m gonna get this soon. I bite my lips.

“Oh me too, Tim, me too…continue…”

“Other nights, you also come into my room…”

“You must have some sort of burglar kink, huh?” He jokes.

“Apparently.”

“Continue please.” He breathes out.

“You come into my room and night and ask me to suck you off…” The first fantasy I ever had about him, I use it against him, to make him suffer.

“Fuck Tim…” Armie grunts.

“Imagine it, can you?”

“Already have.”

I’m gonna let blood flow from my lips. Slowly stroking myself, then faster, brushing against the hole on the top of my cock.

“Now me: sex at a strange place, like the bathroom or in my car. At night, oh, I drive us somewhere where nobody can see us and you ride me, slow and steady, then you push down and beg for more, but I’m already balls deep inside of your tight little hole, and I suck on your neck, your eyes roll at the back of your head, all I’m doing is holding your hips as you take the charge of your speed on top of me. You feel so good and warm, so tight, as I think you are…” He moans.

“Fuck, Armie, my nose is gonna bleed again. More, more, do me more…” I arch my back and remove the covers from my body. Now that I’m alone, I can be naked and free without a care in the world. The heat around me was keeping me warm.

“Nah, you do it now, come on babe, turn me on even more, if that’s even possible…” His voice I burning through my skin, and this is still over the phone.

“Fuuuck, ah…I like the car part. In your car…you lay me down in the back seat, put my legs on your shoulders, and you fuck me only with your fingers. It’s hot and tight, your fingers are wet and cramping but you don’t mind, you push three of them and I’m still begging for more.”

“Fuck, Tim, God…”

“Can you hear me? Can you hear me beg for them? Please, Armie, please, give me more, please, more fingers.” I moan every single word out and sped up the hand movement on my cock.

“Tim, oh my God…I’m leaking.”

“I am too…” I really was.

I couldn’t believe we were doing it, it made me feel so good and so turned on. If only he were here to see me.

“Armie…my biggest fantasy is choking on your delicious, fat cock. I imagine it looking like that because you’re a big guy, you have big fingers and a huge palm. I imagine you holding my head in place and pounding inside of my mouth brutally fast and hard. You love the heath, it’s where you love to come…” Every single thought I had on his physical appearance…now it’s out and he knows it.

“Tim, oh, fuck, you have no idea what you’re doing to me…”

“Fuck me, Armie, please fuck me hard…” Moaning and panting, arching my back, I’m a sweating mess, I need to wash my hair after this.

I push the other hand down there and rub my hole. It feels heavenly, I can’t finger myself now, I won’t last.

“Fuck!” I scream and choke on air.

“Tim…mmmm….”

“Armie, I’m touching my hole, but I imagine it’s your hand down there!”

His breathing now shivers.

“Oh God, Tim…I wish I was there!” He screams.

“I want you inside of me, Armie! Fuck, I want you so hard!” And I scream.

“I want to be inside of Tim, my God, I want to feel your tight and hot hole, babe…mmm…”

“Armie! I need to get fucked, and fucked hard…oh by you! Fuck me Armie, fuck me hard!”

“Tim, I’m gonna come…” Armie screams out.

“Me too…ah, ah…”

I speed up and my legs are trembling as soon as a white substance starts covering my stomach and my chest. I don’t know if I’m breathing like I should, or whether I’m panting, or grunting or screaming his name out. If I could, I would fly because of how hard I came.

“Oh, fuck!!” I hear him on the other line.

“Fuuuuckk!! Aaaarrrmmmiiieeee!” I follow his moans.

I’m milking myself just to make sure everything is out. My body just went through this adrenaline driven moment, I’m way too sensitive to think and to process where I was and who the fuck I was. Every fantasy I ever had of this man…everything was out now in the open, there was nothing left inside me or my head. I’ve gotten dumb, for sure, I just hope what I studied the entire time today hasn’t evaporated from my mind as well.

Silence, for a long, long period of time. I’m trying to stabilize my breathing. Gimme time to come to my senses.

“Tim?” I can hear that his voice softened.

“Ah-Armie…”

Silence. He’s breathing, I’m breathing.

“Did we just?” I pull out the worst question in the world.

“We did babe…”

“Fuck, that was hot.” I laugh and breathe out. Fuck, it really was.

“I’ve never come this hard Tim, ever, oh my God…”

“Fuck, I agree…”

“I still can’t…I’m too sensitive, and twitching.” Armie gasps.

“Me too…”

“Where did you come?” He asked. Oh, he’s dirty, I like it.

“On my stomach.”

He hums, probably with pride. I would too.

“You?” I ask him now.

“Chest, face…”

“Dude, you aimed far.” I joked about it.

“And far I went.”

We both laughed at that. This was not a fantasy, this was reality, as real as it can get.

“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I’m free on Thursday, they called. And you’re free too.” Armie said.

I closed my eyes just to breathe for a while. We already had booked two days in advance, we were going to be together. Every day we’ve been hanging out and this, tonight, was the first baby step, there’s gonna be more for sure.

“You wanna…then…?” He said. I knew what he meant, there was no need for finishing the sentence.

“We’ll see…It depends on whether you want it or…” I said, but he interrupted me.

“I do. I do want it. I want this, what we did just now, but in person.”

I think I’m in love with this guy.

The fact that we’re planning…makes it all more better for the both of us, it makes me nervous.

“Then that’s settled.” I said.

Silence.

“Armie, I need to go. I need to shower and try to sleep…”

“I’m not gonna sleep…after this.”

“You need to sleep. I’ll need you fresh and ready for tomorrow.”

He hums and chuckles.

“And not just me. Your students too.”

“Fuck. I can’t wait for tomorrow.”

I smile to myself, he’s smiling as well.

“Me too. I’m off. Good night Armie.”

“Night, Timmy.”

And I hung up. I took my earphones off and laid there for the next 15 minutes. The dried cum began itching me after some time. I checked my phone, it was 15 minutes pass midnight. Fuck, the thought that I still had to get up, shower, dress up, sleep, get up, eat, take a subway, do the exam…there’s so much stuff to do in such few hours. I can’t wait for the damn exam to end so that I could see Armie. My cock twitch in my hand at the thought of him.

That’s it, no more weeping around.

Because I jumped so fast and scripted myself to just do it, I had a quick shower, washed everything off of me, washed my sweaty hair, and in the next 20 minutes I was already tucked inside my warm bed.

The next morning I woke up alone, ate alone, drank coffee alone, and eventually, I left alone. As I was on my way to the subway, I called my mom talked to her for couple of minutes, just as she had her break. After that, I texted Victor, just to see how they’re doing. And finally, I texted Armie and told him that I should be done by noon, so that he could wait for me. He wrote back and said that he’ll wait for me. I had flashbacks from last night pop right in front of me as I was making my way to the subway station. God, we were so filthy, dirty, sick and twisted, and yet…I never felt better. Something that makes a person feel this good can’t be bad, can it?

Everything went well on the exam, I surprised myself how good I’ve been doing in school with all that’s been going around in my life. Guess, a new person made everything better. I separated school from personal, and managed to do both. Now, there’s only one exam left for Friday and I’ll have to study like crazy for that one tomorrow. The professor told us that he’ll email us the results for the exam we had today, and we’ll just have to wait and see how it goes on Friday.

I keep on thinking about last night, and how much I enjoyed being with him in that way. I can’t wait to be with him physically for real, even if it’s just small things, I want him, so badly. He’s about to show up any second now, I can’t wait to see him, and kiss him, and smell him, and touch him. I want it all. I want to give everything I have to him, let him take all of me, I don’t want to have anything left inside of my heart or my mind. I’ll let a complete stranger own me to the core. No questions asked.

I hear the oh so familiar honk and stare towards the direction where it came from. He parked a little far away but I couldn’t see him because he had tinted windows, it was all black. I open the back door and put my jacket and my backpack, like I always did, his dark blue jacket was already there. I step inside on the front and just as I was about to put my seat belt on, Armie grabbed my head with both his hands and kissed me, brutally, biting into my skin, inhaling my breath away, licking my teeth, lips, sucking my tongue. Armie was consumed by me and he continued to be so for a long lasting period of time. I tried kissing him gently, but it was no worth it, I’d stumble upon his tongue and teeth every single time. Eventually he stopped and smashed our foreheads together. I opened my eyes and saw that his chin was all red, mine was probably as well.

“Well, hello to you too…” I say to him. He pecks my nose.

“God, I couldn’t wait for this moment. You smell so good.” Armie breaths out.

“I bet it’s because of you.” I said. We weren’t there yet, but when we go there and have sex for real, I just know I’m gonna spend most of the time in bed smelling him, inhaling his after-sex intoxicating scent.

“I think that as well…”

I kiss his lips again and finally turn to my seat.

“Shall we?” He asks and turned his car on.

“Mhm. I was thinking…” I began. I haven’t felt this happy in a long, long time, I felt the need to return the favor.

“Shoot.”

“If you could take us somewhere where I like.”

“Of course, babe. Just tell me where.” He turned towards me and said.

“Just drive this way and I’ll tell you where to turn.”

“You got it.”

Armie took my hand in his again, and kissed it again, and kept it on his chest again.

I was still under the influence; the second I saw him, I wanted to drive off with him and give him something he’ll definitely never forget. I tell him where to turn and he goes there. I love this place, I used to spend my summer days with my friends up there, it was an open sky, no soul around us; we’d buy alcohol and go there, we’d spend hours and hours just getting drunk and smoking, like there is no tomorrow. Now, I’m inviting him to my special place and asking him to come with me.

I had a plan I’ve been creating in my head all morning, all that is left is to see if he can follow through, but we’re on a good path.

“Go left here, and it’s all straight ahead. It’s an open road. When you see the end, you’ll know we’re there.”

“You got it.”

Okay, now.

I took a look around us, there was no one there. It was like a gift from heaven, Armie drove with his left hand on a stirring wheel and the other one was just lazily sitting between us. I muttered to myself that my plan will definitely go through, and then I grabbed his crotch, with such ease and confidence.

“Tim, wha-…” He muttered and looked around as well. The point of being inside the car with tinted windows is that nobody could see us.

“Relax, and drive.” My eyes stayed on the road and I was rubbing his crotch through his jeans. Armie did like I told him, although maybe too sensitive, he drove and did his best to not lose control. Oh boy, he has no idea what’s yet to come.

Just as we were about 2 minutes away from the place, I told him to take us, I courageously undid his zipper and belt, and pushed my hand down his boxers, while still staring at the road ahead of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yes, we're getting there.😉  
> Next chapter is coming soon.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	13. The thrill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their day continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! I didn't want to wait any longer, so here's the next chapter, it's the continuation of their day and it's not stopping here. I'm not gonna say anything else, enjoy it, i hope you'll like it, and let me know what you think about it in hthe comments.

“Oh, Tim, what-what are you doing?” Armie breaths out, while I just stare right ahead, and rub his cock inside his jeans.

“Shh, just relax. And drive, eyes on the road. You’ll get us killed.”

“Fuck…” He swallows and breaths out again.

“Relax, Armie.” My hand is totally gone into his jeans, all I can feel is skin, warm skin and some hair at the base of his cock, they’re tickling me.

“Was this your plan all along?”

“Yup. Last night…you mentioned your car. And this is a perfect opportunity to pay you back for making me feel so fucking good last night.” I turn to him and smirk.

“Cunning little fucker.” He says and smiles as well.

“Just drive, we’re almost there.” I said and kept on rubbing him. He feels good, he’s warm and the skin is soft, he’s getting there, almost to the strength where I need him.

At the end of the road, there is an opening on top of the city. From this spot, the city can be seen, there are few trees there, one bench and zero cars. We’re completely alone, no one in sight, around us, next to us, behind us…it was just him and me. He turns the car off and unbuckles his belt. I do the same and with that, I make some room for me to get to him. Fortunately, we both took our jackets off.

“Do me a favor?” I said and slowed down rubbing him.

“Anything.”

“Pull back on your seat. I need space.”

Armie clicks one button underneath his seat and he goes back. Now I have room.

“There.”

“Perfect.” I mutter and take my hand out.

I fully undo his zipper and buttons and he helps me with getting his cock out by pulling his jeans down. It was getting really hot inside the car, Armie was still very much in shock and breathing rather fast. I was perfectly fine, I just couldn’t wait to see him and taste him.

Once I reached down with my hand again, there was no end to his cock. My eyes widen when I took it out and held it in my hand. He was perfect, long, throbbing pink, circumcised, veins were showing up, he felt heavenly, soft and cleaned. Let’s see what he tastes like.

“Oh good Lord! Fuck, you’re big!” I breathe out, licking my lips and bit the lower one. I keep on stroking him slowly, looking up at him, then his half hard cock in my hand, then him.

“Just like you imagined?” He smirked.

“Even bigger.”

I said, still biting my lower lip.

“Fuck, I hope my jaw recovers nicely.” I said and I dive down onto him.

“Tim, fuck…” Armie breathes out as soon as I lick the tip.

“Just relax, let me do the work here.”

His chest is moving in waves, breathing deeply and choking on air. By this, I’d say he hasn’t had a decent blow job in a long time. I lick him again and he’s almost shivering. So sensitive, not at all as he planned, but it’s going all well according to my plan. I hold his cock straight with my right hand. So much skin, so veiny, so fury at the base, and so, so, so fucking big. I meant what I said about my jaw.

Time for talking is done.

I lean in again and put the head of his cock in my mouth, I play with it with my tongue. And then I pop it out and make a noise. He’s breathing better now but he’s still very sensitive, and I take no mercy on the sensitive ones. I go for it again; lean in, lick the tip and pop it out. The next three times I do it again, and on the final one, I dive in deeper.

“Oh, Armie, you taste so good…mmm…” I gasp when I pull him out of my mouth with a pop.

“Oh, you like that babe?”

“Mhm…”

I turn to look at him with my head in his lap, hitting the stirring wheel. He’s looking down at me, his hand on my waist. I hold his cock, barely, in my head and stare at him. Our eyes are connected. I want him to see me, I want him to look at me as I devour his cock. I lick it from the base to the top and watch him change facial expressions faster than anything I’ve ever seen before. I lick him again, and again, the same way.

Armie combs my curls behind, removing my curls.

“Let me see those beautiful eyes of yours babe…” He mutters.

I smile at him when he does that, now I can see him perfectly clear.

I’ve noticed him not even looking outside to see if someone was there. Like I said, the perks of dark windows. His attention was solely focused on me. I want him to see me, I need him to see me.

My eyes are still focused on his as I lick him once again and just dive in completely, as much as I can. He does taste amazing, so good, and I’m already addictive. I wasn’t even thinking about this being just this. No. I was more addicted to satisfying the both of us, like we agreed on. Baby steps until we go for the big thing. I was so addicted to Armie at the moment that I wasn’t gonna let him go nicely. I was addicted to Armie because I loved looking at him as I was licking his cock, because I love that he wanted to join me and stare at me by removing my hair, because I wanted to thank him this way for making me feel the way I did the night before.

The entire atmosphere was such a turn on. I wasn’t even thinking about me. We were somewhere where I knew nobody could see us or find us. We were in his car, my head on his lap, I was orally satisfying him and he was enjoying the hell of it. The thrill, the adrenaline, that’s why it was so addictive.

“Tim…oh…”

Armie cupped my free hand in his and squeezed it. I closed my eyes and was going for it. I’m moving slowly, up and down, up and down, again and again, trying to swallow him as much as I could. This has been a fantasy of mine ever since we exchanged a real conversation for the first time. And now it is here, this is reality. The thought of it just made me do my best to fully satisfy him. Armie was much more important here than myself.

I’d manage to swallow him half way down, but the thrill of this cock belonging to him made me want to go deeper and deeper. And not only that; the noise…the noise this giant was making…that was the most addictive part about this entire scenario. Someone who’s had countless girlfriends was not supposed to moan like this. Maybe it was the thrill for him as well; thrill of the abandoned place, and the car, and me on his lap, or even some images from last night were flashing in front of his eyes which would count as to why was he got rock hard so fast. If not, then it’s all me. Then it’s the thrill of a, so called, kid pushing a hand down his jeans while driving on the opened road, and the sudden dirty game, dirty talk, dirty fantasy, the thrill of being with a man which was, I’d say by his past and family, very, very sick and twisted and forbidden. The thrill of breaking the rules and jumping in a car with a 19 year old boy, driving off to an unknown location where, the same 19 year old boy, was giving him a blow job. That thrill. The thrill of going against everything he’s ever believed in, against everything he’s been learned not to do, not to follow, not to consume. This was new for him and he loved it, oh I just knew that he did. I didn’t want for it to end so fast, I didn’t want him to come so fast, so I slowed down the pace and completely, fully, and utterly enjoyed sucking Armie Hammer off in his car.

This will come pretty soon, but I just knew that the second I put his cock inside my mouth, I made an imaginary note that this is where he’s gonna ejaculate. There was no other place for that, and even if there was, I wasn’t gonna let him. As much as I enjoyed going slowly and steady, I couldn’t wait to taste his hot semen between my teeth, on my lips, on my tongue, and down my throat.

I’d make a pause and just lick and pop up the head of his cock, all along staring at him. Then I’d just stroke him, gathering the skin and my saliva, coating it to lube it up a bit. He’s smiling down at me and I smile back at him. Now I need a break, I breathe in and out deeply, my jaw was starting to cramp but I was doing just fine. I was addicted to the pain I was hoping he’d let my jaw experience.

”Fuck, Tim…oh, I love your mouth. So fucking much.” He breathes out. I knew he would.

He lets go of my free hand and pulls me by my chin to come up to him so he could kiss me and taste the both of us. He kisses me with tongue and doesn’t even bother that he made a mess between us, I’m still stroking his cock. A simple messy kiss turns into a full blown make out session where we both moan as we were letting our tongues battle.

I lie back down on his lap, switch hands, and now I’m holding his cock with my left hand. Eye contact is established again. I stick my tongue out and slap my tongue with his cock.

Armie’s watching this with such worship in his eyes, this turns him so fucking much that he twitches on my tongue. The fact that I could see fire in his eyes, hear his moans, watch him almost choke to death…it makes me even hornier, if that was even possible at the moment. I didn’t dare touch myself, I was hard. Not because I’d let Armie slip away from my attention, but because I knew if I were to touch myself, I’d come right away. So I continued sucking Armie off with an ache in the lower part of my abdomen. He was worth it.

I wanted to suck the life out of Armie cock. I wanted to die choking on it. In the end, I would still agree that it was worth it. I was addicted, I was drunk and high, off of this entire scenario; the abandoned place, the car, us like this, last night and the bright future that was yet to come. It was still early in the day, I knew more was coming my way.

In the end, after we established the real connection, something that will follow us from this point on; Armie closed his eyes and leaned his head back, he was breathing deeply, choking sometimes, I could stare at his Adam’s apple move up and down all the way, his right hand was stuck inside my wavy curls. While I was lying on his lap, my right hand was holding his left one, I was twisting and turning, licking, swallowing, embracing his cock inside my mouth, my eyes were closed as well. There was not a single moment where I needed to complain about the environment we were in. Yes, there were car stuff bothering me, but I couldn’t dare complain. Not because Armie would mind, but because this was not my priority; he was. He was and his fat and long beautiful cock, with fury base, veins sticking out, perfectly cut, perfectly well taken care off.

Soon after that, I tasted salty and sticky stuff on my tongue. Armie was leaking, he was close. There was still time but he was. That made me ache even more. He tasted sweet even with salt mixed in the middle.

I took a break to breathe and swallow my saliva and inhale the snot I’ve been letting down my nostrils. I breathe out and stroke him. Armie’s lips are already dry when he opens his eyes and stare down at me. I smile with teeth at him, he shakes his head slowly and licks his lips.

I’d expect from a big guy like him, and because I formed one type of Armie inside my head, to force himself inside my mouth. I’d expected he’d pull my hair and rape my face, but nothing like that happened. Maybe because it was our first time like this, maybe because he thought that I wouldn’t like it or it would offend me, or worse, hurt me, or maybe because he wasn’t that guy. I was still very much convinced he sees me in a special way, maybe because I’m younger than him, smaller than him, more experienced with men than him. I don’t know. But I will find out soon enough.

“You taste so good Armie…”

“Tim…you’ll kill me if you stop, you’ll kill…” He couldn’t even continue.

I didn’t want us to wait any longer. I went back down to finish the business. I swallowed him again, this time very slowly, I needed to remind myself to breathe only through my nose, I relaxed my throat when I was half way there and like that, I made room for more skin and muscle inside my mouth. Armie was floating with clouds, I just know it. Having someone swallow your half, or even more than a half of your cock was…mind blowing. I should know, I’ve been there, on both ends.

As I relaxed my throat and opened my mouth even wider, I managed to swallow him almost to the base; his pubic hairs were tickling my nose which made me want to pull away immediately. Armie grunted and muttered fuck as I was doing this. Also, his eyes were solely focused on me, and mine were on him. I needed him to see me swallow him whole. I’ll do it the next time.

I take another break and inhale whatever it was leaking from my face. Okay, I need to prepare myself; breathing through my nose, wider mouth and relaxing the throat. Got it.

The next time I did it, I swallowed him whole. I almost died but I did it. I was super proud of myself. Armie lost it completely and banged at the ceiling of the car.

“Fuuuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh God!”

Again, I was super proud that I made it.

Now I’m just stroking him and, from time to time I’d stop to slap his cock against my tongue again.

“Fuck, Tim! You’re…you’re everything! You’re a wonder, my God!” Armie’s lost it, this is just him muttering the first thing that comes to his mind.

All I can do is smile.

I stroke him faster and faster, and I don’t even think twice when I switch hands and play with his testicles with my other one. They’re like two big balls, ready to explode any second now. I bend down to lick his testicles, sucking one inside my mouth, and then the other one. I’m still stroking him, he’s still tugging my curls.

“Fuck, Tim…oh…I’m gonna come babe…ah…” Now he’s back. He’s finally making some sense.

I stroke him faster and faster. Soon, his other hand joins mine and we stroke his cock together. He knows the path his cum will start shooting.

“Do it.” I moan and stick my tongue out.

Armie positioned my face so I could accept his juices.

“Come on Armie, you can do it. Come for me, Armie. Come for me…” I can’t stop moaning on and on. That’s when I feel that I was leaking myself. I was wet down there.

And he did. He was silent, hyperventilating, eyes closed, lips trembling. I tried to catch as much as I could. Man, he dumped a fucking load. Most of it ended on my tongue and my face, some ended up on my cheeks, some on his sweater. I swallowed what I could reach. He grunted and shivered at the end. He slammed his head at the seat to stabilize his breathing and come to his senses after some time.

I wait for him to look at me so he could see me swallow his cum. When he did, I wiped my face and gathered all the cum there, licked it and swallowed it, all along, staring at him. Armie’s lost yet again. I milk his cock just to get everything out. Another drop or two and he was empty. I swallow the head of his cock again and he started trembling. Oh yes, the over-sensitivity.

“Breathe Armie, breathe…” I giggle as I was getting up. My back was killing me, but Armie and his reaction were all worth it.

As I was getting up I realized how hot inside the car it actually was. I couldn’t believe it, my cheeks were boiling and there was fog on the windows. God, we made such a mess.

But before I could sit normally in my seat, Armie pulled me in for a kiss, smashing our faces, I feared one of us would break our noses. He bit and almost tore off my lips, later on I did the same for him. I licked both of his lips and teeth, bite onto them and sucked his tongue. More saliva ran down between us, I didn’t know from whose mouth, it didn’t matter what so ever. So sick and twisted.

“Thank you.” Armie breathed out after we were done.

“Thank _you_.” I said.

I went back to my seat, for real this time, as he was tucking his limp cock inside and his undershirt. I was feeling better down there but it still aches, I was hard but I could hold it, or put it off.

“You okay?” I asked him.

“We’ll talk later about this, okay?” He said and smiled.

We both smiled at each other and leaned in to kiss once again.

I buckled my seat belt and watch him do the same. He had a cum stain on his black sweater, it was visible, at least for me.

“You ruined your sweater.” I said.

It’s like he didn’t notice it. And when he did, he had a tissue near him and he wiped it off with it. It was still there, still visible.

“That’s not important.”

He said and started the car.

“What is important…is you. I need to take care of you as well…”

I felt butterflies in my stomach. Wow, I didn’t think it was possible.

“Oh, okay…” I’m playing his cool game.

He hums as well.

“You should wash the sweater right away.” I said.

“I will…”

Silence. We were off.

“I have a washing machine at my place.” I said.

“Mhm…” He smiled, he was trying not to but my attention was focused on him.

“And you do remember I am alone in the apartment?”

“Oh Tim…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day is just getting started.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	14. Wet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their day continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Here's the next chapter, a rather short one but it's just the continuation of the previous chapter, and only like 10 minutes later. Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and let me know what you think about it in the comments.

Maybe I was delusional, but I’d take a wild guess and say that Armie rushed back to my place like a crazy man, it took us less than 10 minutes by car. Luckily, his parking spot was empty. We ran inside and left everything behind. I didn’t even take my back pack with me, and our jackets were also left behind. As we were on our way upstairs, I remembered something.

“Fuck, keys!” I said and looked at him.

I turned around and rushed back to his car to get the keys. Armie opened the door from the distance. I fiddled around with the pockets of my jacket until I find them and my phone. I rush back to him, he locks them and we’re on our way upstairs. My stomach hurts. I didn’t even look around to see if someone is there to see us. And if they were, they’d see me and my massive and painful boner in my pants, and his cum covered sweater and a messy hair.

The second I locked the door behind us, Armie’s already all over me. He’s kissing me, biting my lips, then my neck, all I’m doing is giggling out loud without a care in the world. Nobody’s around, we can be as loud as possible. We part to breathe.

As soon as we moved from the door, we’re already grasping onto each other’s clothes, never breaking the lip contact. I take both of our sweaters off and his undershirt, Armie undoes his belt, my belt, and then we’re left with pants hanging down our ankles because we forgot to take our shoes off. I sit on the floor and untie them, Armie’s trying to support himself against the wall. We’re laughing and giggling the entire time. After that, I pull him towards the bathroom and close the door behind us. I walk inside the shower cabinet and pull him in with me, I let the hot spray upon us as we stood still there with our boxers on.

We’re laughing and giggling most of the time between the kisses. I take a glimpse at his body because I was in such pain and because we were wet and the hot water suited me perfectly. Arms, chest, stomach, legs, everything is long, and with muscles and with lots and lots of hair. A lean, tall, gorgeous man was now wet in front of me, kissing me, roaming his hands all over my body, from my neck, to my stomach. Everything is so fast and unplanned, I capture everything with a glimpse, there will still be time to see it all. Right now, it’s just painful, and I can’t think straight because of how hard I was. The only thing I could think of is to get off as soon as possible. It’s not helping that he’s grinding against me.

I can’t believe this is happening. Not so many days ago this was all just a fantasy, now that is real, now that the real Armie is standing with me, wet, underneath my shower, pushing our bodies together, kissing, and kissing some more…

“Oh, hello there…” Armie says as he’s eyeing my boner. It’s sticking the eyes and my stomach.

I follow his eyes down there and laugh with him.

“How long have you been holding it like this?” He chuckles.

“Too long if you ask me.” I breathe out.

“Well…I did promise to take care of you.” He said and smiled at me.

Armie pecked my lips again and continues to kiss me down as he made his way where he wanted to be; he’s kissing my neck, my chest, my tummy. He then kneeled in front of me. I’m already hyperventilating, he hasn’t done it yet, he hasn’t even touched me. Armie put his finger inside my boxers and pulls them off of me. I slam my head against the wall behind me as soon as I got out of them. I know that he’s looking at me, I know how much he wants for us to connect, like we did in the car, but my head is elsewhere, I can’t pin point anything.

“Fuck Tim…wow.” I twist my head down to see what was all the fuss about.

“What?’”

“I’m indeed a very lucky guy.” He smirks at me.

I frowned, I had no idea what he’s talking about, and I didn’t care. All I needed is for someone to help me get off. It would be a total waste of good semen if I were to do it myself after the way it got up in the car. Armie cups my cock and I choke on my breathe, I’m swallowing air as the water continued falling down on us. It was loud, it was hot, we were both so fucking wet.

“Let’s just say you should be more cocky by owning this tool here.” He said. I’m pretty sure I blushed but I wouldn’t be able to know that. He was talking about my size, I never really cared that much about it but if he’s happy with it…he’s got his work caught out for him then.

“Oh shut up.” I muttered in between breaths.

“I’m gonna make myself shut up now.”

He said and put my hard cock inside his mouth.

“Ah! Fuuuuck! God…Armie…ah, ah ah…” I’m screaming, and I’m loving it.

For someone who’s never done this, he’s amazing, he really is. Was Armie really sucking me off underneath the shower at my place, after I…what…20 minutes ago devoured him on my own in his car? It all seemed too good to be true.

Armie was hungry. He was really getting a hand of it; eyes closed, other hand on my hips, sucking the life out of me fast and then faster, then he’d slow down and go even slower which would cause some sort of seizure upon me.

“Nnngh…fuuck…” I don’t know what that sound was but Armie was extracting it away from me.

He opened his eyes to look at me; I was tired and was getting sexually satisfied, that made me feel weak, and plus, he was staring at me as my cock was disappearing deep inside his mouth.

“Fucking hell! I fucking love your mouth Armie, God!”

If his mouth could do that to me…I’m scared to think what other body parts of his were magical as well.

I lost my hands in his hair, I was tugging it and pulling his lovely wet hair. God, this feels so good! I wonder how he felt since it was his first blow job. He must’ve taken some notes from me on how to do it.

The water temperature changed, it wasn’t boiling hot anymore, but there was still some heat left in there.

The fact that I leaked in the car was sure enough that I wasn’t gonna last long. But this, this right there, this was the thrill of it again. The environment, the act, the man, this is what was turning me on so much. My stomach wasn’t aching, I was feeling a lot better now, and Armie was there to take care of it.

He was now going rather slow and steady, swallowing me by the half, making a break to stroke me and suck my testicles inside his mouth, he’d lick them, then he’d lick my cock from the base to the top. I’m a good teacher.

Soon after, Armie let go of my hips and pushed a hand down his boxers. Fuck, he was hard again. He was in his mid 20s and he was ready to go within the next 20-30 minutes. His stamina was mind blowing. He was sucking me off and stroking himself all at the same time. What a sight to behold, what a day to be alive, what a moment to realize that we had the rest of the day off, and that we were both free the next day.

The water was getting colder.

This was the time to do it. We may not jump into the bed naked now, but soon, pretty soon, this will happen for real.

Armie tried to swallow me whole, he did as much as he could but that was a trigger for me because not only 10 seconds later I felt muscles tightening in my stomach, warmth rushing over me, vibrations climbing from my toes to my crotch.

“I’m close, Armie…ah, I’m gonna come!”

Armie pulled me out of his mouth and stuck his tongue out. He stroked me faster and faster, looking me in the eyes until white semen began shooting from my cock onto his tongue and chin.

“Fuuuuck! Oh…”

I squeezed my eyes shut and completely let go of myself. Fuck, I came so hard. He learned from me to milk everything out and to put my cock back into his mouth.

“No, ah…don’t…too sensitive…” I moaned out, feeling a bit dizzy, I was wet so I couldn’t sweat.

He smirked at me and popped me out. He then lifted himself up, while still stroking his cock, and kissed me, deeply. He was eating my face, leaving nothing for me. When we parted, he made a tortured face. Oh, he was close as well. I couldn’t believe he made it twice in one hour.

I removed his hand and grabbed his cock inside my hand now. He grunted and spread both of his hands on a wall behind me, almost crushing me as I was helping him get off again. He was moaning and grunting, panting as well, as I was stroking faster and faster. There was no personal space between us, we’ve left that term behind us a long, long time ago. Armie removed his hands from the wall and embraced me towards him when he was very close. He didn’t say anything, he just changed facial expressions when he began shooting his load upwards, towards my stomach and the water. Armie bit on my shoulder when he was done and was still controlling his breathing. I was suffocating but I didn’t care. I was also running out of breath, and floating on so much respect and adoration from this man. We stood there hugging while the water ran ice cold.

I want to give him everything I have. He’s worth it all.

I grabbed the faucet and turned the water off. That’s when Armie lifted himself up from my body to look at me.

Armie kissed my forehead and then my lips, and again and again.

“I’m tired, Armie…” I mutter against his face.

“Me too…”

We smash our foreheads together. We’re still trying to breathe normally.

“Wanna sleep over?” I ask him once we got out.

“Of course, babe.”

I gave Armie a towel and I took his wet boxers and put them in the dryer, they should be done in 15 minutes. I can’t have him sleeping next to me with nothing on.

As he was getting dry, I put all of my clothes from that day and his sweater in the washing machine. We walked around with towels around our waists, waiting for his boxers to dry off. As he was making himself comfortable in the living room, lighting up a cigarette he had in his pocket, I went to my bedroom and put a new pair of boxers and my pajama on. I was still drying my hair with the towel. When I walked out, I found Armie on the couch, smoking and going through his phone. I was so damn exhausted to even rewind the film and think about everything that has happened. Leave it, it’s not worth it. Enjoy your time with this man. If I was this exhausted, I wondered how did he feel.

I went to the kitchen and asked if he wanted something to drink or eat. He said that he’s good so I just took a glass of water for myself.

I sat next to him and he embraced me with one hand and we sat there in silence, watching Armie scroll through his phone.

“Don’t fall asleep on me.” He said and I jerked my head in his arms. I fell asleep.

“I won’t, I won’t.”

“I need to dry your hair.” He said and put his fingers inside my curls.

“I’m already drying it.”

“Not with that. With a real blow dryer.”

“Will you do it?” I looked up and asked him.

“Of course.”

Just as we walked in the bathroom, the dryer was done and his boxers were ready for him to put them back on. He also put his white shirt he wore underneath that I stacked in the bathroom. We were now both dressed, our private parts covered. I also noticed how free we felt about being naked in front of each other. We still haven’t reached that stage in the relationship where we could actually be naked in front of each other, this was just a tiny frame where he whipped his cock out and he just took mine in because it was wet, and hot and foggy and barely visible. I’ll get him naked and explore his body, soon.

I gave him the blow dryer, he plugged it in and began drying my hair. We stood in front of the mirror. I was looking at him while he was looking at my hair. I’m happy, tired but very happy and satisfied. After I was done, he kissed my head and began drying his own hair while I was combing mine.

After we’ve finished in the bathroom we went to my room. I closed the blinds, turned every possible object that could have light on, every lamp, closed the doors, turned my phone off, he turned his phone off and simply crashed onto my bed. I was the one who embraced him from behind, he held my hands against his chest and before I could even say anything or think about what time or day it was, I dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like i said, it's just getting started.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	15. Domestic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys have the rest of the week off and they spend all that time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovies! Sorry for the late update, i switched positions yet again. I finished with ICU and today was my first day at a psychiatric clinic. I've been writing all weekend long, i have so many idea. But here's today's chapter, enjoy it, hope you'll like it, and let me know what you think about it in the comments.

I woke up alone.

It seemed normal for me to wake up alone but I knew something was missing. I knew someone was missing. My head was pounding, it was dark inside my room, so I wouldn’t know what time it was. I checked my phone that was next to my head. It was 18:16. I literally have zero recollection when we fell asleep, all I knew I was tired as fuck. I felt the spot next to me, it was cold. He’s not here, he’s run off somewhere. I checked my phone again to see if there were some messages when and where did he go. I turned my lamp on and god instantly blinded by the light. Every bone, every muscle hurt while I was sitting straight in my bed. I didn’t want to get up.

But then I heard some noise from the kitchen and that made me get up pretty fast.

I walk outside and was instantly greeted by Archie.

Wait.

Archie?

Where am I? I thought we were at my place. But this is my place. What the fuck? I pet the pup and walk over to the kitchen where Armie was standing in front of the stove.

“Armie?”

“Hi babe!”

He turned around and rushed towards me with a smile. He kisses me with such ease, his lips on mine, like it was meant to be like that and no other way. He’s wearing clothes I didn’t recognize, they aren’t mine.

“Sleep well?” He asks and pecks my nose.

“Mhm…”

Just as I was about to ask him about Archie and different clothes on him, he cuts me off.

“I hope you don’t mind…I woke up before you, drove off to my place and gathered some things. Oh and Archie and his bowls.” He said as he made his way back to the stove.

“You went back to your place?”

“I did. I hope you don’t mind.”

I smiled behind his back. I would never mind a guy wanting to be domestic with me.

“No, no, ah…that’s…sweet actually.”

“You’re alone and I figured, why not.” He said and smiled when he turned around, but he only did that so he could get some stuff.

I sat on the counter and watched him do his job.

“By the way…The University called, I’m free for the rest of the week, that’s certain.” He said.

“Amazing!” We have so much time together, it’s insane.

I jump off and hug him from behind. I can feel his muscles, his skin, his scent; he smells so fucking good. I come up to between his back blades, barely.

“Yup. We have 5 days to ourselves.”

“I can’t wait…” I breathe out.

“Me too…”

“What are you making?” I ask him.

“Nothing special; some eggs, bacon, cheese, stuff I found in the fridge.”

“I should call Gordon Ramsey on you.” I tease him.

“Oh, you little shit.”

He turns around to kiss me as to seal the agreement; I know what’s gonna happen in the next five days, and so does he. We kiss, he’s swallowing my lips and his body is swallowing my own, it’s crazy. We keep on like this until Archies 5th whine interrupted us.

We both stare at the pup.

“Damn. Sorry Tim, I have to take him out. You stay here, it’s cold outside. And don’t touch anything, I know you’re starving, we’ll eat when I get back.” He says and all I can do is laugh my ass off.

I watch him put the leash on his pup, put his jacket on and he winks at me when he’s gone.

I’m alone again. But it doesn’t feel like it.

I don’t know where to start, is this really happening? Did Armie just practically move in with me? He brought his pup, it’s his baby. Wow. I can’t think about this anymore, just let it flow and run with the wind.

I decided to use the time and call my mom, she should be home soon. My phone was in my room and that’s where I went to get it and called her.

“Hello?” I missed her voice.

“Hi, mom…”

“Tim! Hi! Baby, how are you?” She sounds so happy.

“I’m good, I’m very good.”

“Oh, I know that voice. What’s new baby?” Of course she knew. Can she smell him on me as well?

“No, no, no, you first.” I hated taking attention on myself.

“Okay. Same old, same old. Now talk.” She put her foot down.

I’m gonna tell her. She deserves to know. When I tell her, that’s gonna be three people in my life that know about him and about us.

“Okay, okay…I met someone.” I said.

“Really? What is their name?” I love how she didn’t ask about his or her name. She knows I don’t have a side.

“His name is Armie.”

“Armie.” She repeated it.

“Mhm…”

“And you like this…Armie?” Her voice softened. I don’t know if she still thinks I’m going through a phase, although she never said that to me ever. When I told her about Miles, she said that the gender doesn’t matter, that people should fall in love with a soul and not organs.

“Very much.”

“Baby, I’m finding out just now about this. Is it something recent?”

“Um, I don’t know. It’s been going on for about 9, 10 days.” So little.

“Oh baby, you were always too eager to share your love.”

I nod but there’s nobody to see it. I breathe out, I’m tired.

“Is he here?”

“He’s…he took his dog out.” I said.

“Wait, you’re at his place?”

“No…we’re here, at our place. We…were together the whole day and he rushed home to pick some thigs up and his dog and went back here. He’s free for the rest of the week”

She hums and smiles loudly.

“What?”

“Nothing. You sound happy, baby.”

“I am.”

“You need to relax more. This is good. Is he good to you?” That’s all a mother needs to make sure of.

“Mom, he’s…he’s perfect.”

“Well…I can’t wait to meet him then.” She said and I froze. Oh shit.

I had to remember how it went when he met Victor and Jules; I fucking bled out in the middle of the dessert. God please help me.

“When are you coming?” I ask her.

“Next week for sure.”

“I can’t wait to see you. I missed you.”

I began balling on the last word.

“Hey, hey, hey baby, we said, no tears.” Her voice is so soothing, I need her close to me.

“I know, I know. I’m not sad, it’s just…this is so overwhelming for me and so many things had happened today, good things. I just feel like I need you to hug me and that’s it.”

“Oh, baby, tell me more about him, how old is he, how does he look.” She’s trying to distract me, God bless her.

“He’s 26. He works as a philosophy professor at Colombia University, well, substitute professor, the real position is coming next semester. He’s really tall, he has blonde hair, blue eyes, he’s so smart, you wouldn’t believe it. I love talking to him, I love being with him.” I’m giggling throughout describing him. I felt like a teenage girl.

“Oh baby, I can’t wait to hear more when I come there. He sounds great, and Colombia is…wow, that’s ambitious and daring.”

“Yeah…”

Seconds later I hear noise in the hallway.

“We’re home!” Armie’s back.

He said, home.

“Hey, mom. I have to go. Armie just came back.”

“Yeah, yeah, go. We’ll talk tomorrow when you’re free, okay?”

I miss her already.

“Of course, mom. I love you. Bye.”

“Love you too so, so much. Bye.”

And I hung up.

I gathered myself, wiped my tears off, I can’t have him seeing me like this, he’s gonna think it’s because of him, and walked out of my room.

“He didn’t do anything, he’s just a little tease.” Armie said as he was taking Archie’s leash off.

“Naughty boy.” I pet Archie again.

“Who were you talking to?” He asked as we moved to the kitchen.

“My mom. She’s coming next week.”

“Great.” He smiled and poured a glass of water.

“I want you to meet her.” I flat out said it.

I’m waiting for him to finish his glass of water. When he does, he looks straight at me.

“Deal.” He said.

“Really? Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

Pause. I was still getting over my nap.

“Armie, you okay?”

“Of course. Why would you think I wasn’t?”

“No, I’m just…I know this is all new for you, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay with us, like this. I mean, you’re meeting my family, and my mom is the most important person in my life.” Suddenly, I felt nervous about talking to him about this.

“I’m ready for this. As you can see, I’m not going anywhere.”

We both chuckled. He’s right; he practically lives here now.

“Now…let’s eat.” He said and we were off.

After dinner, we moved to the bedroom. We were lying on my bed, Archie was napping between us, we were smoking, Armie was drinking some beer I found in the fridge. Armie was lying on his back and I was lying inside his embrace a bit lower, I could hear his heart beating. We talked about my mom, we talked about this week, the only topic we both avoided was what happened in the car, and then later on in the shower.

“I know we agreed to not touch those subjects, but I have to ask...” Armie began. I knew this was coming.

“About my ex?”

“Mhm…”

“Only if you tell me about yours after me.” I looked up at him and tell him this.

“Can I do that tomorrow? I still need to gather the words inside my head.”

“Sure.” I nod and smile.

He kisses my forehead and I embrace his arm towards me even more, I’m caressing his skin.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

I take a deep breath and start talking.

“His name is Miles, he’s older than me, by one year. We met at a party last year and hit it off. He was really handsome but after the disastrous ending…he’s not that handsome anymore. At least not to me. It was always a game with him. He’d disappear for three days, sometimes even for a week, he wouldn’t call or text, and then he’d show up out of the blue, acting like everything is okay. I would confront him about this and he’d always say that that’s what people who are in real relationships care about and talk about. In school, we didn’t know each other, and I thought it was good because keeping a relationship like this one private was good, but man…I hated that he would pretend I don’t exist and then the next moment, he’d be all over me in the bathroom. He’d say he doesn’t know my name, he’d throw in a few bad words, and then he’d ask me to fuck him as soon as we were alone. My mom didn’t like him and it had nothing to do with him breaking my heart and treating me like shit. She said she didn’t like him even before we were together, when I showed her some pictures, out of 20 people, she singled him out and said that he looks like a jerk. Which, in the end, she got it correctly. I don’t know how she does it but she was right. The sex was good, really, for both of our first times, it was okay. But at the end of the day, I’m still trying to convince myself that it was all about sex and not love, but I couldn’t. The more he would push me away, the more I’d fall hard for him. Something must be wrong with me. Victor never expressed any opinions, neither on him nor my sexuality. I spent most days crying and trying to escape my head but I was…I guess…in love with him. About 7 days before we broke up, we had sex for the first time, and 4 times in a row until he called me one day and told me that he thinks this is a mistake, that this was never about relationship, it was all about making out, exploring with guys and well…sex, and I guess, him toying with me. He said that he’s not gay, or bi, that we could never work out in the world like two gay men, or, one gay and one straight. He basically said it was all in my head, that that spark I felt was in my head. In the end, I don’t know if he was bored or I was just a bad laid, but we broke it off. It nearly destroyed me. Imagine having the sky blue and someone comes in and tries to convince you that it’s green, that’s how I felt and there was no way of convincing me otherwise.”

I wiped a tear when I finished. Armie kissed my forehead.

“I’m sorry it went that bad.”

He said.

“And I’m sorry I made you talk about it. Guess those wounds are still opened.” He added and embraced me closer.

“Nah, it was me. I was the stupid one to think that a guy would actually be into me.”

“Bit your tongue kid. I’m into you, I like you.” He emphasized the word “I”.

“I know.” I smiled.

“It’s crazy that he called and said all of that. He’s a sick fuck, I tell you that.”

“I’m still trying to erase that from my memory.” I’m trying to talk as little as possible.

“I know babe. It’s hard, I know. There’s always gonna be that one person that’s gonna drag us down no matter where we go or whoever we end up with. And I’ve never looked at that as something bad. Sure, it was a shitty move, but thanks to him, you’re here where you belong. With me. You had to have suffered enough to get that sunshine at the end of the tunnel. But it’s in the past. And we’re the future.”

I looked up at him.

“I like the sound of that.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded.

“Tim, you’re such a good guy, anybody would be lucky to have you. That position is, unfortunately for the world, now filled. And you’re the smartest kid I know and you didn’t deserve to be treated the way you did with that guy. I’m gonna do my best to erase those awful memories of him, I’m gonna take his place and you can’t stop me.”

I breathe out. I’m so damn exhausted, overwhelmed and happy. I want to say something but I’m afraid I’d start crying in front of him. I don’t deserve him. He chose me.

“Has he ever contacted you after that?”

“No, he graduated the next semester and that was that. I didn’t hear anything at all about him anymore.” I said.

“Did your friends know about you guys?”

“Nope, I never told them anything about being with a guy.”

“You think they’ll judge?”

Silence. Good point. I don’t know why I never told them. Probably because we decided to keep the relationship private.

“I really don’t know, I can’t tell.” I said.

“If they do, they’re not real friends.”

Another good point. My turn now, I’m tired.

“What about you?” I repositioned myself on my stomach to look at him.

“Hm?”

“That guy you smooched 600 years ago, tell me about him.” I smirked and raised my eyebrows at him.

“You little shit, go ahead, have your laugh.”

“I’m sorry, sorry. But tell me more about him.” I fell silent and waited for him to talk.

“God, I haven’t seen him in years. His name is Vincent. We were playing truth or dare at a home birthday party, and the bottle landed on him and then on me, we kissed in front of everybody as a joke. And later on, I burst into the bathroom by accident, didn’t know he was there, and we made out. After that, nothing. We said we were drunk and probably a little bit high and just left it at that.”

“How did it make you feel? While you were making out with him. Do you remember?”

“I absolutely do remember. It was like…I wasn’t drunk on alcohol anymore, but on him, even though I was pretty wasted. I remember the feeling pretty well; my knees were buckling, I was sweating, my heart was going crazy. I kept thinking, Oh my God, are we gonna bang, I don’t have a condom, luckily we’re in the bathroom, there must be some in here. I was either drunk off of him or just a simple kiss.”

I loved listening to him talk about his past, it’s like it’s not the same person that is lying now next to me. I knew his answer right away. Dare I say it out loud?

“No.” I smiled and said it softly.

“What?”

“It was him.”

“How do you know?” He frowned but was intrigued how I got that.

“It’s easy. You still remember your first kiss with a guy, but you can’t remember if you loved the girl you were dating for 7 months, and that was recently.”

His eyes wondered away and he laughed.

“Makes sense.” He said.

“I could be wrong though, but…”

“Yeah.”

Silence. He has no idea what I have in store for him, regarding, as he put it, stuff with other guys. Everything was so clear to me.

“Was Miles your first?” He asked after some time.

“Mhm. In every way.”

“And you’ll be mine. In a way.” He chuckled and bopped my nose. I took that finger in my palm and intertwined our hands.

“In a way yeah.”

“That was first for me…this morning.”

We both chuckled and I’m pretty sure I was blushing like crazy, I let my head fall down because I didn’t want him to see me.

“For me as well.” I said.

“I was drunk again, in the morning, in the car, in the shower, an hour ago, now…it’s you kid.” He spoke softly, voice stiff, he’s serious.

“It’s you Armie.”

We kiss again.

“Did you tell your mom about us?”

I nodded.

“Awesome. I can’t wait to meet her. When is she coming again?”

“Next week.” I said.

“You’ll be free then.”

“Mhm. On Friday is the final exam.”

“I’m really proud of you kid. You made it at the end.” I was really feeling the pride though.

“My first one was when you cut in front of me at the bakery.” I had to bring it up.

“So that’s the deal, huh? You survived this exam period with me by your side.”

“Exactly.”

We kissed and then I found my laptop and we played a movie. After the movie had finished, Armie took Archie out one last time. In the mean time, I was texting Victor. They’re having a blast, finally some alone time. He asked about me, and I told him that Armie’s gonna sleep over tonight.

Once he got back, we found some snacks in the kitchen and munched onto them fast, smoked couple of cigarettes and then decided to take a shower.

“Together?” I suggested.

“No offence, Tim, but I doubt I would be able to control myself if I see you naked again. And we’re both tired. You go first.”

All I did was smile at all of that and went to get that shower. He came in after I was done, 10 minutes later.

I finally understood what he meant about being drunk next to someone you like, and care about dearly. Because as soon as he lied down next to me and I had the taste of his lips and inhaled his scent, I was overdosed and I passed out immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	16. Wandering romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie have couple of days to themselves. They use them to experience something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Here's the next chapter, it's a bit long and a lot of things are happening here so bear with me on this one. I've already written the next 2 chapters and they're so freaking long, there was no place to cut them so i put everything in one chapter lol Anyway, love the responses and the support for this story, i can't thank you enough! Enjoy this one because it has some nasty things, you know exactly what kind. Hope you'll like it, and let me know what you think about it in the comments.

“…and what about this one?”

“It’s an old scar.”

“From?”

“Victor cut me with his nail.”

“His nail?”

Armie was surprised as he touched a tiny mark I had on my bare chest.

I nodded.

“It’s really old. I think I’ve had it since I was about…seven.”

“How did he do it?” He asked and touched it again, it made me squirm a bit.

“One thing about my brother; he hates cutting his nails.”

“He wants to grow them?”

“No…”

I chuckled.

“No. Mom used to chase him around the place to cut his nails when he was little. He hates the feeling, even today. I guess he’s scared or he’s just feeling…uneasy, I don’t know.”

He smiles at me. God, he’s so handsome.

“That one here was made one night after I took my shirt off because it was hot and he wanted to grab me by my necklace and slipped and cut me here. I was bleeding.” I said.

“Wow, really?”

“Mhm. The scar is what I have left of it.”

Armie moved his fingers north. I closed my eyes as he ran his fingers across my face, so gently, so slow, I was dying from the touch of his hand.

“You have so many freckles. On your nose, cheeks, even lips, they’re so freaking adorable.”

“I know a lot of people who hate their freckles, but I love mine.”

“And I love them as well.”

He said and bent down to kiss my nose.

“I wish I could kiss every one of them, all over your body.” He muttered as he was kissing my cheeks and eyes.

It was a slow and warm morning. I was lying naked on my bed, and Armie was on top of me, also naked, straddling my thighs. He agreed with my proposal to explore each other’s bodies first. We were both hard, that didn’t bother us. I was the one who submitted to his questions about my skin, old scars, moles, birthmarks…I put “Wandering romance” by Lie Ning on repeat and lowered the volume almost to the minimum. The windows were cracked opened and there was some morning light coming inside. It was snowing outside. It started somewhere in the middle of the night. I was the one who woke up to go to the bathroom and saw that, and I immediately woke Armie up to let him know. I’m not so sure he was sane enough to register what I told him but he muttered that that’s awesome, and I added how much I love snow.

We woke up at around 9 and by 10 we were naked and I was underneath him.

“Is this a chicken pock scar?” He touched my cheek and asked me.

“Mhm. I had them when I was 12.”

“I had mine when I was a baby, I don’t remember them but my mom told me that I got them from another kid at daycare. She said that kid licked me or something, and that’s how I got mine.”

“Gross!” I frowned when he told me.

“Yeah…” Armie chuckled and touched my cheek again.

“It’s good that you don’t remember. It was awful.” I said and rolled my eyes, remembering how painful it was.

Armie moves his hand south.

“Tiny nipples.” He says.

“Oh yes.”

And then he brushes them with his thumb. That makes me shiver.

“And sensitive.” He adds.

I chuckle. My hands are next to my body, touching his knees.

“Look at me.”

I did.

“Beautiful. Green eyes. Soft skin, eyebrows…perfect. Tim, you’re a wonder. You’re so beautiful.” He breathes out as if he’s struggling with these words.

“Stop…” I’m blushing, but as he was just about to move from talking crazy things about my…beauty?...my stupid cock twitched.

“Your little guy here seems to like it when I compliment your beauty.” He chuckles.

“Don’t listen to it, it doesn’t know a thing.”

“Oh, it knows a couple of things.”

Armie brushed my lips with his thumb. I’m melting. His touch made me believe my lips were bleeding.

“Soft pink lips, your jaw…does it hurt?” He remembered what I told him the previous day in the car.

“I’m fine.” I chuckle.

“Cheekbones. I bet girls envy you for them.”

“They do.” I said and smiled.

“They should.”

I breathe in, close my eyes, then open them, and lick my lips. And when I opened my eyes, Armie’s facial expressions had changed.

“So soft…”

He mutters. I smile.

“Look at that smile.”

He touches my face again. Where was I and who the fuck was I before finding someone to touch me the way that he does, and to make me feel so fucking special, the way that he does?

“So many birthmarks on your face. Your skin is so fucking flawless.”

Armie’s cock twitches, and there is no reaction from him. He cups my face with his hands and touches the skin. He’s so lost in this.

“Don’t get me started on the hair. There won’t be an end to it.”

He combs my hair once and breathes in as to make a note to himself to stop and practice self-control, because after this, he wouldn’t be able to stop. We both knew it.

“So thin, yet fit. You have muscles, and you’re tall, lean and well taken care of.” He said. This is his overall impression of my body.

“I try.”

“Hair is just…perfect. Everything on you and about you is perfect. Those curls…do you ever tie your hair?”

“Sometimes.” I said.

“Can I see it?” He’s so interested in this.

“Now?”

“Not now. But soon.”

I nod.

Armie then grabs my neck, I melt into his touch. I was pretty sure that my lips were getting puffier after he squeezed my neck. God, I love this so much. Maybe he loves it as well. I’m sure he does because it makes his cock respond in slapping against my stomach.

“The neck is…it fits perfectly in the palm of my hand. Collar bones…I hate when someone touches mine.”

“I’ve noticed.” I think about how much I would love to feel his hand around my neck.

He smiles. Armie moves down my stomach and pushes a hand down as to create pressure.

“Your tummy…does this hurt?”

I shake my head.

“Hips, bony…legs…” He said and moved to the side to hold my entire right leg in his arms. He caressed the skin, looking at it, touching the hair and eventually kissed the foot again. My cock twitched. He noticed it and it made him smile.

“Turn over on your stomach.” His voice runs through me like a knife.

I did as I was told. He stood up a bit, still kneeling as I turned around and lied back down on my pillow. I’m staring at the window and all I can hear is his deep breathing. He’s either tired or overwhelmed by all of this.

“Freckles.” I hear him say. Of course, that’s the first thing he notices.

Armie roamed his hands all over my back, touching the skin, making me shiver and tremble.

“This is the cutest little butt I’ve ever seen.” He says and I chuckle.

I turn around because I absolutely must not miss an opportunity to make fun of him for this.

“Oh and you’ve seen plenty.” I said and he smiles at me, while still touching my skin.

“I can’t say I haven’t.”

I chuckle, he follows me and soon, I’m back lying down on my stomach. Every time he touches me, I feel like I’m losing it bit by bit. Underneath his touch, I feel like my skin is burning, like there are red marks being left where his hand would make the print. Is it possible that a person, a man, can have this much of an impact on another human being? Apparently it is.

“So soft.”

I just listened to him talk about my skin and my butt, while my lower abdomen is floating in pain that has been rising more and more.

“What’s this?” He asks and I turn around immediately what he’s talking about.

“What?”

His fingers are touching a patch I had on my butt.

“Oh, freckles.” I add.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Freckles on your butt.”

Armie squeezes my butt cheeks and roams them again and again. He’s trying to control himself for sure, he wants to touch me and bury himself deep inside of me, which is exactly what I want as well. That thought makes my cock twitch, and when he closes his eyes again and breathes out, his cock does the same. It’s perfect. Just like it was meant to be.

“Your turn, kid.”

But I’m not moving. I stayed on my stomach even after he laid beside me. I felt like crying. I’m naked, and yet, I feel like I’m even more naked now that he’s gotten off of me and is finally facing me.

“Are you tired?” I ask him.

“A little. You?” He touches my cheek. I close my eyes.

“No, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed about what we’re doing.”

“How does it make you feel?”

“Hard.” I said and he chuckled with me.

“Okay, smart ass, besides the obvious?”

“Raw. Like my skin is peeling off and you can see my insides.” I flat out admitted.

“You wanna stop?”

“Fuck no.”

I straddle his stomach. His hard cock is hitting my tail bone. Pretty sure he could enter me how close and hard he actually was. I wouldn’t mind, except that we’re missing a few items but I’d rather wait and do it fully prepared than this way. This morning was specifically reserved for us getting naked and exploring each other’s bodies. Armie combs his messy hair and puts his hands on my thighs. He had this morning glow that I couldn’t wrap my finger around how is it possible that he looked so drop dead handsome at 10 in the morning. I doubt make-up could do him justice, he had a natural glow.

“Let's see…” I mutter and smile.

I had to spread my hips because of how big he actually was. Comparing it now that we’re naked, when everything was off, when there were no multiple layers of clothes covering our nudity…he’s a big guy, he’s not only tall and well fit, but he’s big in size and form. Bigger than me, tougher than me, a very big guy. Which automatically meant that his body parts were big. I knew that it meant that I had my work caught out for me.

“So many hairs.” I said as I touched his chest. He had a bushy chest, no doubt there. I like touching his body; he’s warm and calm, he’s breathing normally considering the hammer behind me that was so close to bruising my tail bone.

“Yeah…” He’s caressing my thighs in slow circulate motions.

“I like it. You’re a real man.” I said, he smiled.

I wondered if someone had said this to him ever before. How is it possible that someone who use to have this gorgeous beast in their bed didn’t spend their hours praising him, all day, every day? I absentmindedly remembered that he said something similar to me the night when we kissed for the first time. I haven’t felt him inside of me yet, and I’m so fucking addicted to him. Such a shame. If he were to find the right one, Armie and myself…we wouldn’t be doing this in the first place. We would never have met, never kissed, never bonded, never travelled to an abandoned place, I would never have given him a blow job, he would never have given me a blow job in the shower, and we would have never stripped down naked as the day we came into this world and ask deep questions about our bodies and inner feelings.

I move north and touch his left collar bone. He makes a face.

“Fuck…” He breathes out.

“Why do you hate them?”

“I don’t hate them. I hate when someone touches them. I don’t know why.”

I move my hand even further north and touch his neck. I can feel his arteries pulsing underneath my touch. My fingers touch one side, and then the other one. I wrap my hands around his neck and at the same time, he moans, and his cock twitches behind me. Oh, so he’s not so innocent after all. He likes this. I squeeze once more and the same thing happens again, only now, my cock twitches as well. Guess we’re this much sick that we both like it. Wonder if he ever got off on the idea of choking or making a few slaps on the partner. I’m gonna ask him.

Armie licks his lips and I can still see the natural glow that has gotten me weak pretty fast. His cheeks are shining, his puffy lips are so kissable, even though they’re so puffy thanks to my lips, his nose is oily but red and perfect, his eyes have an unmistakable spark that just fits perfectly with the philosophy of Armie’s natural glow in the morning. Maybe it’s because of me. Maybe I shine just as same but he’s so beautiful…beautiful. I finally understand what he meant by calling me beautiful. I could never see it by myself on myself, but on him…I want him to look like this forever.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to do this anymore, I didn’t want to ask questions, I didn’t want to explore his body anymore. I wanted to lie next to him and watch him naturally glow so early in the morning, and to smell him. He had a scent, even before sex, he had it, and I was dying next to him.

The song made another repeat.

I let go of his neck and ran my hands down his arms. Even under so much hair, I could sense how soft his skin was, the elbows were beyond interesting to me. His stomach was everything, maybe I could balance things on it while he’s asleep. Put some books on it, a cup with water. I could lose my fingers in his chest hair, but most importantly…I could see myself loving this guy. Not to fall in love, but to love, for real. This is all just physical, but as we deepened the relationship, I realized how everything was flowing so good and well, how perfect we were, how we love satisfying each other, how we love spending time together…am I in love with Armie Hammer? I should be so lucky. If he can love me back…I’m a lucky kid indeed.

I grab his wrists and with the power of his scent swaying above me, I pin his hands next to his hand and dive into his neck with my lips. My shoulders got weak as soon as I inhaled him. He had a natural smell as well. I close my eyes and inhale him again, then I start kissing his neck. It’s pulsing, it’s warm, it’s such a turn on.

“Ugh, Tim? We had a deal dude.” Armie chuckles. Yes, we had a deal not to touch each other this way, but I couldn’t resist.

“I know, but you smell so good.”

He chuckles again.

“What do you wanna do?” Armie asks.

“This.”

“Ah, this works for me.”

I start kissing him from his neck, then his jaw and his chin until I come face to face with him. By some magic, I’m still holding his wrists pinned to the mattress. He’s evaporating with this warmth that makes me so weak. Is he for real? A natural glow, a natural intoxicating scent, and now the warmth. It was like whenever I would have a fever and whoever I would sit next to, they would comment how hot I was just by being close to them. Now, this is just like that. I look into his blue eyes. The pupils are so dilated, If I didn’t know their real color, I’d say they’re black and going bigger. And dilated pupils mean only one thing…he’s looking at someone he…loves?

“Armie?” I whisper, clearly tortured by something I’m not so sure by what yet.

“Mm?”

“Can I say something?”

“Of course babe.”

“I still don’t want to…not today at least. I want us to explore more and more before going in for real.” I’m honest. I really mean it. I’d rather stare at him and smell him before doing the big thing.

“I agree, I agree. That sounds like a great idea babe.”

I reposition myself and lie on top of him. His face doesn’t change at all. I’m either weight-less on top of him or he’s holding his reaction inside.

“I’m still…getting used to this, to us, and this um, life style? Anyway, I’m happy you’re the one I’m going through this step by step. I’m still trying to figure out what I want and who I am.” He says and kisses my forehead.

“I understand that.”

Silence. We’re just staring at each other’s faces. I’m still in awe of his natural glow.

“Did you ever question yourself?” He asked me. He wants to hear it from me.

“All the time. I still do.”

“And?”

“And…I don’t know what the answers are, I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I feel great around you, regardless of what your gender is. I love spending time with you, I love being with you, so…that’s my answer, sort of.” I said and comb his hair back. It’s so soft, I do it again.

He nods, he agrees with me.

“Armie, I’m not the type to search for someone who fits me just because that was scripted for me. I defy the rules. I’m searching to fall in love with a soul, someone’s mind and sense of humor, and if they make me feel safe and secure, if they make me laugh, and they always make me smile.” I add, he smiles at that.

“That’s beautiful.”

Now he’s the one to comb my hair, and he does that again and again. I smile at that.

“Have you ever felt like that when you were with girls?” He asked me.

“I honestly can’t remember. It’s been so long, and this whole shit with Miles screwed me up completely.”

“We should listen to you then.”

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“We should focus on now and the person who makes us feel good.”

I’m silent. I think I’m in love with this guy, for real.

“For me it’s you, Tim.”

“And for me it’s you, Armie.”

We kiss again and I put my head down on his chest and listen to him breathe and heart beating. He embraces me and we stay like that for minutes and minutes to come. The fact that we were brutally hard doesn’t bother me anymore. I’d rather get my heart off rather than my cock. I’m sure he feels the same way.

It's so quiet, peaceful and warm around us. I slide down next to him, into his arm like he prepared it for me to lie there, close my eyes and enjoy the moment with his lips on my forehead, and his thigh on top of mine. He’s caressing my hair with his hand on which I’ve been lying on. It’s beyond hot between us, it was choking me and providing me with oxygen, at the same time. The song makes yet another repeat. He’s inhaling a scent on my forehead, I’m touching his chest hair with my eyes closed. It feels like falling asleep except that now my adrenaline is running wild, my heart is pounding fast and faster, and my erection actually grew stronger. His as well.

Armie kisses my forehead, actually pecking it, like he’s afraid to touch me.

I refuse to let this moment go and gently put his cock in my hand. Armie shivers almost immediately when I do it, and then I start moving it brutally slow, brushing my thumb over the hole on his erected cock.

“When was your first time?” I ask him, just to not regret it later because we had a chance to get to know each other, and I was distracted by his intoxicating morning scent.

“I was 18. Just the classics…I was with a girl for three months and then we had sex, and then we broke up.” He spoke softly, eyes still closed. I’m still touching him.

“Why?”

“Because she hooked up with another dude. She was drunk as hell, but still…not an excuse.”

“I’m sorry.” I said. That sucks.

“Nah, Tim…it’s fine, it’s been ages since that shit went down. I actually saw her recently in New York. She works at a boutique down town.” Armie pushed even closer to me.

“Well…something good came out of it.”

“You mean because she cheated and got to where she is now?”

I nod.

“Maybe. I thought about it but…it’s a really duchy move to think like that. But I did it anyway.” He said.

We laughed a bit and just continued with the silence.

“What about you?” He asked.

“Last year.”

“So you’ve had it all in one year.”

“Oh yeah. Guess which was better?” I looked at him, his eyes were closed, I wanted him to see me smile.

“With a girl?”

“Nope.”

Silence. Oh shit.

“Really?”

“Mhm…”

“I don’t get that, he treated you like shit and you’re…”

“He did. He was the worst. But just the sex…sex was good, because it was just sex, no emotions. I bet when those two worlds collide…emotions and sex…”

Silence again. I knew what I was talking about. I still stand by my opinion.

“You’re full of shit Tim. I’m gonna change your mind now, and I won’t even touch you.”

I didn’t have time to think because as soon as he was finished talking, he flipped me over on my back, put my legs around his waist and went down to face me. We were so close, I thought it was impossible. It was little to expect this from him...especially from him. He, who had zero idea about sex with guys, is now so close to entering me, I was preparing to feel him inside me any second now.

I decided to keep my mouth shut and let him do what he’s got in that beautiful head of his.

Armie then takes me by surprise and pins me down on the mattress. He’s holding my wrists with both of his hands and is smiling above me. I knew he’d like this, just like I knew he’d like choking me. Now we’re so close I was pretty sure I’d explode just from the thought how close and warm it was between us. I can feel his cock rubbing against mine, it’s so tight I might just lose it now before the very end. He’s staring at me and then he’s eating away my neck. I’m shivering and hyperventilating, until I feel him move his hips against mt crotch. I look down immediately, hitting his head with mine, and see that he’s nowhere near entering me, that he’s just moving his hips, twisting his cock against mine, pounding into nothing, as I finally caught up with the afterthought. This is just him grinding against my crotch. It’s the game of “Oh, too close, but not close enough.”

“Fuck, Armie…”

I close my eyes and slam my head back onto the mattress, he feels amazing, it’s making me open my mouth so wide and nothing is coming out. I’m pinned down against my will, I can’t move, I can’t see shit, all I’m feeling is him breathing above me and his cock rub against mine. I’m gonna explode.

This is all for what I said…lesson learned, do not provoke Armie Hammer in bed, because he will show you that he’s number one without even laying a finger on you.

I open my eyes to find him smirking down at me, he knows I like this, I don’t think he even knew until he gave it a try. It was then that I realized that he’s gonna keep doing this until we both come. He’s still very much rubbing against me until I feel him leak on my cock and stomach. That’s when he started moaning, and the time for playing games was over, this is the real deal. He’s moaning, and I’m mirroring his moves, his sounds that are escaping his mouth. He’s rubbing against me and now I’m arching my back to meet him in the middle. I feel like every part of me is sweating and sweating profoundly, there is no stopping now, we’re going all the way.

The song makes yet another repeat and I feel like I’m reaching my nirvana.

I let go completely. I slam my head back down and close my eyes, let him do all the work, I’ll just keep on arching my back and move upwards as he is rubbing against me. My hands are out of function, I’m hyperventilating, moaning, licking and biting my lips, I don’t know anymore. I feel I’m leaking myself. I repeat his name over and over again.

Armie’s grunting and panting, his hair is messy and greasy but he’s still shining. His natural glow. He bents down and kisses me, I keep him there by biting his lower lip. He’s breathing into my face, his hot breath is going in waves at me, it’s making me even hornier.

I love this. I love the atmosphere. It’s snowing outside, it’s hot inside, the air is so thick, one of my favorite sexy songs is playing in the background on repeat, Armie’s rubbing against me, I’m arching my back to meet him halfway, my legs are around his waist, we’re so close, we’re glued, my hands are pinned next to my head, eyes closed, I’m hyperventilating, I felt like I could die from all this over-sensation. This is the first time I let myself go with him. It’s what I think with every step we make together, until we sleep together for real, this is going to be the moment I was completely myself and did nothing but what my instincts led me here. There were no words spoken between us, I followed him, he followed me. I’m running out of breath because of the hotness in the air, I need to breathe, I’m choking, I’m letting go.

“Armie…Armie…Ah-Armie…” I moaning his name over and over and over again, just to get both of us off.

“I think I’m dying.” I gasp.

“You’re not dying, babe.”

“I am. I am dying.” I swallow and repeat this over and over again. I have no control of my body anymore. Some invisible force is coming to take. Every part of my body went numb. Here, take me.

“You’re such a drama queen.” He laughs out.

“Mmmm…”

“Feels good, yeah?” I hear him say.

“So fucking good.”

“Good. You should.”

Armie lets go of my hands and I’m not moving. He lies above me, crushing me with his body, he’s sucking on my neck. He takes no mercy in it. Good. I wouldn’t want him to do it either. Let him suffocate me, I don’t mind, not at all. I’d let him do this to me any time, any day. I wouldn’t let anyone to just choke me like this. Not just anybody, only Armie. I’d let him do anything he wanted with me and with my body, let him, he needs it, I need It as well. Every single thing he wants us to experience, explore, try…I’d say yes, no questions asked, he deserves to try it, he deserves to do it, he’s worth it all. I wanna give everything to him, I want him to see me in every light that he wants, I’d let him, no questions asked.

And now…we’re both leaking, he’s still on top of me, eating my neck, I’m scared he’ll leave a mark, but then again…I don’t care much about it. I moan in his ear again and again, my hands are still next to my head, I don’t have the energy to move them, fuck it. Eyes roll at the back of my head when he sped up a bit and I was left breathless.

Armie moves away from me I can breathe again, I missed the choking period. My hands are still out of function, I couldn’t dare move them. I begged for everything and anyone to leave me be, I was reaching new levels of my path to satisfaction. How the fuck did I even stay alive?

He stopped moving his hips into mine and spread my legs with his hands. I was close.

“Armie?” I called for him and he went back down to suffocate me once more. I don’t care.

“Tim…”

Eyes still closed, we’re not moving, I can’t feel my legs or my arms, he’s taken all of my energy. Good, I want him to have it. He’s supporting himself on his elbows and he’s combing my hair back. As soon as I felt his lips underneath my ear, I felt the oh so familiar wave filled with warmth coming at me, taking my body over. I reached my orgasm untouched.

“Oh, fuck yeah! Oh Tim…this is so fucking hot…” He moaned in my ear when he felt me come.

This has never happened to me before. I came untouched. The white gooey substance spread between us, sticking to both of our stomachs.

Armie moved away from me and that’s when I opened my eyes. He looked so fucking beautiful; messy hair sticking to his forehead, cheeks and nose shining in the morning light, muscles contracting, veins showing at the surface. This is the man I chose, and I chose him well. He was stroking himself with one hand and milking my cock just to get everything out with the other hand. Soon, his semen began splashing from his cock and I was bathing in it; he came all over my stomach, and now I had both of our juices on me. I love it. I love the feeling, I love the thought. Armie grunted when he came and was trembling above me. I smiled at him, barely, I was too damn tired to do anything.

He lied next to me and caressed my cheek. I nuzzled into his touch and let myself go once more. I closed my eyes for two seconds and him saying :”This is now my favorite song.”, was the last thing I remember before I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song is from WTFock when Robbe and Sander slept together for the first time. It's unbelievably sexy and beautiful.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> New chapter is coming soon.


	17. Let me make your heart talk (Armie's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're seeing the entire relationship through Armie's perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear babies!! Hope you're having a great day. Here's the next chapter, and this time, it's from Armie's point of view. I was waiting this long to do his POV because i needed for the story to unfold for a little while. Anyway, enjoy it, hope you'll like it, and as always, let me know what you think about it in the comments!

“This is now my favorite song.” I touch his warm cheek and talk.

“Mhm…” There is a smile on his face, but he’s too tired to give me the real one so I just have to settle for this one. At least he’s trying.

“Tim?”

“Mhm…” His eyes are closed.

“You wanna sleep?”

One nod, barely, and he’s off. I smile. The second he closed his eyes, he’s even more beautiful, if that was even possible. In his case, oh yeah, it was. Anything Is possible with this kid. He’s a true wonder.

“Okay. Don’t take too long. You have to study for tomorrow.” I said.

Oh damn. He has to study for real.

“And I miss you already.”

I know he can’t hear me, that’s why I love saying these things to him while he’s asleep. Also, not the first try; while he was asleep before, I told him that I miss him, that I like him, really like him, that I may be in love with him, and…the one that I have to bite my tongue every time we’re intimate, and that’s that there’s a great possibility that I love him. I can’t love him, can I? Isn’t it too soon? Is there a rule about these things? I know nothing. I’m so confused.

But he’s not. He’s carrying this for the both of us. I am grateful.

“Good night, beautiful.” As soon as I said it, I realized that we may have gone a little over board with all of this. I checked my phone, it was 10:43 am when he fell asleep, I hope he can wake up on his own and feel rested and ready to study. If he’s not up by 2 pm, I have to eat my heart out and wake him up myself.

I lie there for couple of minutes, staring at the ceiling. I need time to process what we just did. He provoked me, he got what he deserved, I don’t feel bad at all. For sure, I’m his top now, as it should be. It is my duty to get this Miles guy out of his system, any way I can try, he’s no longer welcomed here. Now, he’s drained here and satisfied, let him rest, he deserved it.

I turn to look at his face. He’s so young and flawless, I can’t believe this…boy…has slept with a man before. He’s so young, he looks so damn young. I don’t blame anyone who got close to him, hell, I was lost myself. He showed up and my God…everything I thought about being a man, or a man being with a woman…everything went down the toilette the second I laid my eyes on him. He got me all confused since day one, ever since that first meeting at the bakery, I’ve been questioning myself and my needs. The next day, I will remember that one for the rest of my life, I winked at him and he smiled, waved and ran off, everything lasted less than 5 seconds. That made me smile and laugh throughout the entire day. And night. Even if we only exchanged a look, and a wink and a smile and a wave, it was all still confusing to me. One thing though, it was not confusing for my southern glands. Just the thought of him as I was going on by my day and night, made me tingle down there, and the only way to stop it was to meet it halfway. I can’t be jerking off to a kid I saw twice in my life, can’t I? Isn’t that…sick? He looks young, he’s probably a minor. That’s sick. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I remember thinking that I was over dramatic, I was imagining stuff and situations that were bound to never happen, ever. But I went on doing it anyway. I was fast and felt both good and dirty afterwards. Taking him in the dark to an alley somewhere, God knows where, and making him get down on his knees for me…that’s what got me off the first time.

On Wednesday when we actually talked for a while, I waited for him to show up. In 7 am, he did not show up, I waited inside then 10 minutes after that, I went outside and waited in my car. And when he did finally show up, I felt my stomach fly. And when I also saw him check behind him constantly, and letting all those people in front of him…that’s when I knew I wasn’t crazy and that he felt it as well. It was a fucking sign. I went after this kid because I needed answers and when I got them, I didn’t back down, I stayed put and stayed with him. I’m following him and his path, I trust him completely. I’m not confused anymore. Guess Tim was all I needed to answer those questions I had inside me for almost a decade. Next to him, it’s like everything was so clear and I didn’t need to take time at night to sort my shit out. And to think that I had a girlfriend up until recently…that never changed the fact that I’ve always been insecure about my sexuality, and putting it off just won’t do a man any good.

The fact that he could sleep after what we just did of this proves that we’re so different when it comes to handling a massive rush of sexual energy. He can sleep, I can’t, and I also can’t lie around. I got up and looked around the room to find something to wear. I put my underwear back on, unlocked his phone and turned the song off, then I closed the windows. Let the poor boy rest, he deserved it. I should cover him up, I don’t want him to catch a cold or anything. But he’s dirty. He’s sleeping on his back, head to the side, hands next to his face; he looks like a piece of art. If I were to have him stay like this forever, have him glow in the morning like this with a sweaty and messy hair, with a calm and satisfied look on his face, with his flawless skin calling a person to touch it…I would have all of my questions answered for the rest of my life, for good. I can’t let him sleep like this. Luckily, there are wet wipes next to his head, which is good, because I keep some as well in my bedroom. When he came over and we hung out for a bit at my place, I contemplated whether or not I should give him the tour of the apartment, because then I would have to show him the bedroom and I didn’t want him to take it the wrong way. I didn’t want him to think that I’m showing him around just to end up in bed with him. I really do hope he didn’t think it like that, never was that ever my goal. I’m stupid sometimes when it comes to being with someone, especially someone new that I have never met before. I always watch out what I’m saying and how I’m saying some things, I try to come off as a better version of myself, I always check my hair and teeth, I don’t want to chase him away. But now, for the past few days, I stopped caring because he wasn’t interested in those kinds of things about me.

I took one wet wipe out, sat next to him, and started wiping the cum off of his stomach. He never made a single sound or even a move, he squirmed a bit but he continued sleeping. Damn, I really knocked him out. I covered him up, he nuzzled into the blanked. I threw the wipe in the bin which I had a lot of trouble finding. Since I sort of moved in on my own, I packed a few things in a bag and took it to his place.

This entire relationship has been all about trying and watching what he says and does. Never have I ever done something I knew he’d be okay with it. I moved in and he said he’s okay with it, I slept in his bed the night he had a nose bleed and he said he’s okay with it, I invited myself in to meet his brother, and he said he was okay with it. I don’t know if he’s really okay with it or he just can’t say no.

Or he’s like me.

He’s trying as well, and making sure if I’m okay with everything we’re doing since this is all so new to me. Which could also mean he’s okay with everything and is scared to say no or be more ecstatic about some things because of me. Maybe he’s also afraid of chasing me away, just like I am.

I need to sit down and have a talk with him soon. There’s not a doubt in my mind that he too really likes me. I’d think he’d be a big enough of a boy to stand up for himself and say this.

But then everything just went down its own flow. We talked, just to get to know each other a bit, and then we had that first breakfast, and then all those car rides, his place, my place, sleeping in his bed, sleeping with him in my arms, sleeping in his arms, the countless kisses and emotional burst outs. That small argument…he was just so good to me and was finally opening up and I was feeling guilty that I felt so good next to him and I had this…secret…that was so weird and it did not fit in our life style. I’ve been thinking about telling him that for days and when I did, I wasn’t surprised by his reaction. Not at all.

But that shit went away and it was just us again. I was back to his perfect lips and he was back inside my arms, just where he belongs.

It’s crazy. I don’t know the guy, I’ve only known him for a week or so, and suddenly, everything is so clear, I am not confused anymore, I love doing stuff I never knew I liked, I’m being domestic with a guy, I don’t remember acting this way whenever I had a girlfriend. I’m not quite sure if I’m into guys just yet but what I do know is that I’m definitely, 100% into Tim. Every baby step with him, I just went for it, I didn’t see the reason why I should hold it back. The big thing was to see if he sees me as a creeper or as a friend. But couple of times I’d catch him blushing after I would look at him, or he’d stutter or his voice would shiver, or even he’d smile at the most ridiculous things about me. I doubt friendships are made this way today. No. I know we were both walking into something bigger with clear minds and right heart. So what it was just left was to upgrade it, constantly. I just let everything go its own way, something bigger and stronger out there will stop me from doing something I could regret in the future. When it came to the first kiss, I was fishing a moment the entire day long; we were in public at first so obviously I couldn’t do it there, and when I dropped him off I saw the perfect opportunity, and then his phone rang and…like I said, something bigger will stop me from doing it right then and there. And then we went upstairs, I met his brother and his girlfriend, and all I could think was how I can’t wait to be alone with him so I could just kiss him because downstairs he didn’t flinch, and I was relieved because of that. He felt it as well. Everything else that followed that was just so natural to me, I saw no shame in being with him, I saw no shame in making time to be with him. I liked him and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

Then we had sex over the phone and it was so clear to me that we’re at least one step closer to where we’re headed. Truth be told, I was scared shitless…about sex, and about being that much intimate with him. I didn’t know what do to, I don’t know the feeling, and I wouldn’t know how to satisfy him in that way what so ever. The thought came up to me and that was that I would definitely know when the time comes. I didn’t want to base the sex life on phone sex and talking about how we’re gonna do it. And then the little fucker did that in the car and the freedom I felt later on when I did that to him in the shower, once again, everything was so clear and the fact that we’re taking baby steps I was letting go of that fear more and more. And this morning…I think I just let go of the biggest one yet, the biggest lump in my throat. In the end, I was right, I didn’t think about what we were doing and I just did it, he seemed to like it and that was more than enough for me.

Stop thinking. Time passes so fast when we’re inside our heads.

I went outside and fed Archie. Then I hopped into a quick shower and when I was done, I dressed up myself again and took Archie out for a short walk. I lit up a cigarette as he was doing his business. Didn’t leave a not to let Tim know where I was, just in case he worries. I was outside for maybe 20 minutes and just kept on walking until I made it to the bakery to buy us some breakfast. I tied Archie outside and was done within two minutes and headed back. Tim was still asleep. I ate alone and, because I didn’t know what do to anymore, I started snooping around. Everything was way too interesting for me at his place. After that I got bored and when I checked my phone it was 12:29. I know I made a note to wake him up at 2 pm but I’m bored and I hate being quiet without him.

This morning, I woke up first, went to the bathroom and when I got back, he was already awake. I was beyond happy that he’s up, I can kiss him and hug him now.

“Come here.” He whispered into his pillow and extended his arm across the bed.

I did as he asked of me and climbed back onto the bed, and nuzzled next to his face.

“I was thinking...” He began.

“Mhm…”

“Not yet, not the big thing just yet, but…I would like to get to know you and your body first before going all the way.” He said, I smiled.

He’s still warm from sleeping.

“I like the idea, kid.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Then undress me. And start with questions.” His voice shivered.

And I did, and then he undressed myself, lied down and I straddled him…and the rest is history.

I waited for another 15 minutes, then 15 more and 20 minutes more, and then I decided he’s had it enough. He needs to study. In the mean time, I was looking around the place and cleaning my phone.

I walk in the room and his position hasn’t changed. I hate myself but I need him, and he needs to study.

“Tim?”

I call him when I walked in and closed the door. It was pretty warm in the room, he was sleeping naked.

“Tim, baby, wake up…”

I whispered when I lied down next to him. Nothing. Is he dead?

“Wake up, Timmy.”

I whisper again and kiss his forehead, it’s where I can smell him the best.

And then he slowly opened his eyes, like a princess in a movie.

“Hi.” I smile at him. He’s trying to get use to the light and the reality.

“Hi…”

“I’m so sorry for waking you up, but it’s 1:30 pm, and you need to study for tomorrow.”

He stares into blank and then closes his eyes as to remember what was yet to come.

“Oh, shit…I forgot.”

“I know, I know.”

He yawns and looks around. He’s so fucking beautiful, I feel so lucky.

“Do you have a lot to cover?” I ask him, not moving my eyes away from his face, I follow every move he makes.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Silence.

“What have you been up to?” He asked me.

“Not much. I showered, I took Archie out. I went to the bakery, there’s food in the microwave. I just chilled around the apartment, snooped around a bit, nothing much.”

“Did you find anything interesting?”

“A bunch of stuff.”

He chuckles but he’s struggling, he’s still tired. School comes first, period.

“Did you sleep okay?” I ask him.

“Dude, I was knocked out, I can’t remember a single thing.”

“Have you felt it when I wiped your stomach off?”

“No? No…Fuck.” He gasped, he was shocked.

“Come outside and eat, you can shower afterwards and you can study.”

He nodded.

“I can leave if you want me to.” I added.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Then I’m staying.”

Tim nuzzles close to my neck and takes deep breath in and out. As soon as he settled like that and put his hand around my waist, I knew he was gonna lose it again.

“Tim, hey, hey…don’t fall asleep on me again.”

“I’m tired.” He muttered.

“I know you are and it’s my fault but you really should…”

“It’s not your fault. I’d rather do anything else but study.” He said.

I feel for the guy, I really do. He needs to know that I’m not going anywhere unless he wants me to. I’m gonna be right here when he finishes.

“Can we stay like this for another hour? Please.” He asked eventually. His shivering voice against my neck…why am I so weak?

I knew this question was coming. It’s always like this. Whenever I have to go back home, he’d insist on another hour. And I’m an easy target for sure, he must’ve figured that out by now. I’d do anything for him, whatever he asks me.

“One hour.” I gave up.

“One hour.”

“And then you get up.” I finally gave in. Better. Maybe that one hour would do him good to relax and rest fully.

“And then I get up and do my absolute best.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.” He smiled and I couldn’t help it but do the same. He moves away from my neck and attacks my lips. We haven’t kiss since he woke up for the second time that day. I would kiss him all day long, no questions asked, whenever he’d come close to me.

And exactly one hour later, Tim got up, showered first, then ate and then he was off to studying. I stayed out of his way for most of the day. He made a lunch break, we ordered take-out and ate everything afterwards. After that, he locked himself in his room and didn’t come out for hours. I’d check on him to make sure he hasn’t fallen asleep. It’s his final exam tomorrow morning, I know he can do it, I know he will, but still, he needs time.

He would walk out every half an hour to go to the bathroom.

“How’s it going babe?” I would ask him every time.

“Not bad.”

Or…

“I’m getting somewhere.”

Or…

“Great, I finally have some motivation and I’m almost done.

I was going out of my mind with boredom. I took Archie out more time than I could count. I brought my laptop with me and I went over some things for school. After that, I took one book from the shelf and started reading it. Just as it was starting to get good, he walked out of his room, all happy and smiling.

Somewhere around 11 pm, he went out the last time.

“Done!”

“Yeah?” I was sitting on a bar stool, going through my laptop.

“Mhm.”

“So proud of you babe.” Now that I was sitting, he’s still not a match to my height. I pull him in for a hug. I really was proud of this human being.

“Thanks.”

I kiss his forehead and smile down at him.

“I like it when you call me that.” He said, looking at the floor.

“Yeah?”

He nodded. I adore him, he can’t even look me in the eyes.

“I should be done by 9, 9: 30 in the morning. You stay here.” He said and I nodded.

I got up, turned my laptop off, and put away some dishes I had there.

“I want my prize now, Armie.” He said and spread his arms across the counter.

“What prize?”

“The one I’ve made by myself.”

“Which is…” I look curiously at him.

“Which is this…” Tim latches himself around my neck to kiss me and I pick him up in my arms. I wanted to do this since the first time I laid my eyes on him. He’s thin and tiny, and I’m everything opposite and that made us so perfect together. I kiss him back and watch out where I’m touching him down south.

“Wow! I’ve never been so high!” He jokes into my lips.

“You little shit.”

“Take me to bed…” He breathes out.

And I do just that. I sit at the edge of the bed and he’s sitting in my lap.

“You wanna…?” He asked me when we part.

I shook my head.

“Good. I don’t want to either.”

He said.

“We can still do other things.” He added.

Soon, he began taking his shirt off, and then mine, not breaking eye contact. Tim ran his hands down my chest, touching every muscle I had there, all along, keeping our eyes locked. He stood up and took his pajama bottoms off and climbed back onto the bed, I’m watching him while lying and supporting myself on my elbows.

“Pull back a bit.” I listen to him and lie all the way back on the pillows.

He takes my sweat pants off and soon, we’re both naked. It’s warm and intense, the light has dimmed down a bit and the atmosphere was just the way I like it. I pull him to me to kiss him, I have no idea what’s on his mind, but I’m dying to find out.

He switched his position and lies on his side, facing my crotch, I’m facing his and grabbed my cock in his hands. Oh, so that’s how we’re gonna do it? I didn’t think people still do this, I thought 69ing your partner was left in the ’69. But since we’re here, I don’t see why not.

“I always wanted to do this.” He said while looking at me and licking the head of my cock. I was getting harder with each passing second with his tongue near me.

“You are really something…”

Explosions on both end; inside my mouth and around my cock as we dived in at the same time.

We’re not rushing, we’re taking our time, taking him slow and nice, caressing his skin, his thighs and his butt. He tastes incredible, as always. I doubt it’s the organ itself, but it’s actually Tim I’m feeling, smelling and tasting, and that’s why there’s the incredible taste left in my mouth whenever I suck him off. I’ve only done it twice, and those are the two blow jobs I ever gave someone in my life. I must be doing something right because he seems to like it. He’s moaning now and it makes me push into his mouth even more which makes him take me deeper and that makes me moan myself and it makes me swallow him slower, which again makes him moan and…that appeared to be the divine circle we’ve got ourselves into this lovely snowy Thursday night.

It’s night and we’re having sex, sort of…like lovers do, like boyfriends do.

I’m loving every second of it, I want to please him, I want him to know just how much.

Some time had passed and we’re both extremely close; I taste his precum on my tongue and start leaking myself. Very soon after that, he informs me that he’s close and I open my mouth to welcome his semen which I later on swallow and leave nothing behind. He moans when he realized I took everything out, and that makes me come myself. He mirrors my move and wipes my cock clean with his beautiful lips.

I bite his thigh and he yelps. He’s so silent when he comes this time, usually he’s going all around the place and hyperventilating.

I absolutely fucking love how something he does, stirs and shifts the entire universe inside me, and same goes for him. Our bodies and our minds are following each other without any warnings or without any knowledge. Same goes for our hearts and our souls.

This night, we wiped each other nice, slowly and clean. We don’t leave much to imagination because he needs to get up early.

We get up after a while and head straight to the bathroom. I walk in first and set the water for us.

“I’m scared you just suck away all my knowledge, Armie. Now I feel dumb as fuck.” He said as he stood naked in front of me.

“Stop whining and bring that beautiful body here.”

He laughed and joined me afterwards.

“We’re gonna lose one layer of skin from showering so much.” He said.

“Agree…”

After the shower, we ate quickly, brushed our teeth and went to bed. Archie was whining so I took him out as Tim waited for me. I guess he didn’t want to sleep without me. Once I got back, he was going through his notes for tomorrow. Before that, he set up the alarm clock and picked out what he’ll wear for tomorrow morning.

“Do you always pick your clothes out for the next day?” I ask him as I made my place in the bed, waiting for him to join me. He was picking around in his closet what he’ll wear for his exam.

“Nope. I did though…last week when I was hoping I’d ran into you. I would pick everything new just to look good for you.”

He did? I am stunned. I couldn’t believe it.

“Really?”

He nodded and climbed next to me in the bed. I take his face in my hands and he nuzzles into him.

“If you were to wear your pajamas, I’d still fall hard for you, Tim.” I said. I’m sure my eyes were sparkling because my heart was racing out of place.

“I know…now you’re witnessing me in my environment 24/7.”

We laughed, kissed and settled into both of ours favorite sleeping position; my arms wrapped around his body and his face getting lost in my neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter named by one of my favorite songs.  
> Back in 2012, 2013, 2014 and even to this day, i was addicted to listening dubstep, techno, DJs, literally anything from Spnnin' records. And few days ago, my music player went on shuffle and all the memories kept pouring out of me. Countless hours and days i spent on listening to this with my brother and my friends, i never missed a single party that was themed with this type of music. It was crazy.   
> The song's original name is *"Body talk" (Mammoth) by Dimitri Vegas, MOGUAI, Like Mike ft Julian Perretta* but i changed it to heart and not body, because we're not there just yet.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	18. Just like lovers do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys spend another day together, and they go out separately at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babiess!! Hope you're having a great day, here's today's chapter. I don't wanna bore you with nothing more, just enjoy this chapter, be careful, don't expect too much. I really hope you'll like it and, as always, let me know what you think about it in the comments!

“See you later…” I whispered against Armie’s cheek when I kissed him goodbye.

He woke up at the same time my alarm did, but continued sleeping while I was getting ready. Armie woke up in total shock when I kissed his cheek. That’s the scariest way of waking someone up.

“No, no, no, wait, uh…” He grabbed my leg as he was getting up, he slept on his stomach.

Armie rubbed his eyes as to try and come to his senses. The entire room smelled like him, my bed smelled like him, I smelled like him. I smelled like him, it was strong and sweet, but not as strong as I knew was coming our way.

“I’ll drive you, I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.” He said and removed the covers.

“No, no need, I’m in no rush. You continue sleeping. I’ll be home in 2 hours tops.”

“Are you sure?” He falls down on the pillow and asks me this.

“Yup. I need a break from you.” I tease him and cover him again.

“Go away.”

I kneel to come face to face with him, and smile. He’s smiling as well.

“Good luck.” He whispers. God he’s so beautiful in the morning. And in the afternoon, and at evening, and at night, he’s beautiful any time of the day.

“Thank you.”

And I kiss his lips this time. I closed the doors behind me. Let the poor guy rest, he deserved it so much. He was so perfect last night.

“Bye Archie…” I wave to the pup who was already awake and sitting on the couch.

I take a subway to school and go through everything I studied since last night. The way Armie’s mouth work, I was beyond terrified he’d suck away everything I just spent hours working on. I took some time to breathe and collect my thoughts. Okay, it was Friday, the last day of exams, the last day of school, and I was free for couple of weeks after this one. Armie was home, sleeping in my bed, we’re going step by step, baby steps regarding the sex thing. We’re gonna get there pretty soon. At the same time, I was nervous and excited about it. He’s so stupid with these things, I need to take care of the essentials. I need to buy some things that were crucial, I should go to the store after school and buy them.

Stop it. Exams now, sex later. As a toast. We had Friday and the weekend free, and even after that, we had couple of days where he’s gonna be busy and I’d be free. And when his work days end, then we’re alone, no obligations, no school. I couldn’t wait.

I stuck my head back into the book and kept on reading until I was there. Because I knew Aarmie was gonna pick me up after school, I stopped at the pharmacy store and I bought a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. I have one bottle but it’s old and half used. Just the essentials we need.

I met up with a few of my friends outside of the building, and we walked our way to the classroom. I haven’t hung out with them in a long, long time. My life has been based on exams and Armie for the past two weeks. They reminded me about the party that night.

Fuck, I totally forgot about that. I told them I would think about it. I wanted to go but what am I supposed to do with Armie? Should I bring him? Should I even question that? Would he want to go?

Not now. I need to pass the exam first and then I can discuss this with Armie.

For the first time in a very long time, I was actually nervous about this exam. Maybe because it was the last one, or maybe because it was the hardest one, and I do not believe I had enough time to prepare for it. Which is my fault, I could’ve said no to Armie and then after the final one, I could let him move in, sort of. But it had to go this way. Because I can’t resist him. I don’t know how to resist him.

That shit is stronger than me.

As I was sitting there, waiting for the exam to start, I found myself contemplating whether or not this was a good idea. But, anyway, it was the last one so it’s too late. I need to find a way to balance school and Armie.

The exam started and everything I studied was simply falling out of my head. It was like, if I were to scratch my hair, puff, some knowledge went out and fell onto my paper and it was my job to write it down.

I was pretty positive when I came out. I talked to my friends, they had a hard time finishing it and were mostly confused about some questions. Not me. Who knows what this is? Why am I so suddenly so good at school and studying one day before the exam? I know the answer to it all. And it was waiting for me in his car. There is no need for honking, I spot him immediately and go that way.

Images flash right before my very eyes about us and his car, and what we did. I’m sure his mind was working as same as mine. It would be such cruelty if he would think left and I would think right. No. It has to be like this, both lefts or both rights, other way around and we wouldn’t make this relationship work.

Armie lowers the window down and I stood there latched onto it. He’s wearing his sunglasses, I need to have a word with him.

“Hey kid.” He smirked when I showed up.

“Hi grandpa.”

“Hop in.” He waves his head towards himself.

“Gladly.”

I open the back door, leave my stuff there, sit in the front and buckle myself up. Armie grabs my chin and pulls me towards him to kiss me. I’m lost. I’m trebling on the inside. What is wrong with me? It is not our first time kissing, then why am I losing my shit now?

“You wanna go for a coffee? My treat, to celebrate the end.” He asks when we part.

“Sure.”

Armie starts the car and we’re off.

“So…is this it?” He asked while driving.

“Yup. It’s over.” I nod looking at him, his eyes are on the road.

“Great. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks grandpa.”

We laugh. He doesn’t take his eyes off the road and grabs my hand to kiss it and puts it on his chest, like every single time, just where it belongs. What an amazing feeling, and what an amazing part of the day.

“What’s with the sunglasses?” I ask him.

“I have a headache. Since I got up.”

Oh no. Can I hold him? Can I call everything off and lay in bed with him, to kiss it to make it better? I don’t want him to be in pain.

“You okay?” Now I’m sad.

“Mhm, I’ll be fine, I already feel better. I can’t ride with all this whiteness around me.”

He meant the snow.

“Did you take anything for the pain?” I remove my hand from his and touch his neck and jaw with my fingers.

He nods. Good, it should kick in soon. We stop at a stop light.

“And you…stay out of my pants today, got it?” He turned to look at me and said this. I was indeed taken by a surprise, it made me smile widely.

“Was I on my way to it?”

“How the hell would I know? Last time, you just went for it.” He’s smirking his ass off but this is just way too funny for me.

“Did you hate it?” I ask him after some time.

“Shut up.”

“Did you like it?” I ask again, I’m trying to contain myself.

“Not listening.”

“It made your friend burst out of sheer white happiness.” I tease him. Oh, what a lovely moment it was.

He takes his time to fire back.

“Still not listening.”

“I don’t think you’re not listening, I think you can’t even hear me. You know, because you’re so old.”

Silence. Nailed him. I’m feeling very playful today, like a kid filled with joy. He will not admit that he lost.

“Did you say something? My ears were distracted by your beauty.”

Okay. I was taken off guard. I’m stunned.

“Aha! I knew it. This is my way of getting to you. Good to know.”

“No, I…” I can’t pull the words out of my mouth. What the fuck?

“Don’t even try it. Deal with it, kid. You’re weak. I found your weak spot. You’re no match for me.”

He’s celebrating with himself.

“So, you’re losing it when I call you beautiful. Is that it?”

I’m blushing. I can’t look at him. Why not?

“Shut up.”

“It is babe. Deal with it.”

“Shut. Up.”

“But you are beautiful. Which is the truth.” He blows me a kiss.

Silence. He’s still smiling at me, taking his eyes off of road for a split second and then staring back at me. I’m now more composed than I was.

“If you keep this up, I can’t promise you I will contain myself at the coffee shop.” I make the final blow.

Armie parked the car outside of the coffee shop.

He chuckles to my words.

“Noted. Let’s go.” He nods and we get out.

We sit inside, somewhere in the middle, the coffee shop is full. It’s Friday, anyway. Armie takes his sunglasses off and I almost come inside my pants because of his eyes suddenly and finally appearing in front of me. He’s growing a beard, it looks good on him. It’s making my chin and cheeks tickle and burn whenever we kiss, but I would like to see him with a real beard. There’s not a doubt in my mind that he would look so fucking hot. I bet he isn’t even aware of the power he has over people. He managed to capture me and Jules in one week. Jules, who’s been in a stable relationship for years now, is suddenly smitten just by the appearance of this man. And that voice…I bet he’s walking carelessly and confusing both women and men as he’s strutting threw the streets of New York.

Back off people, he’s mine.

We order the coffee and we talk and talk. I look at him and see no friend in his eyes, I see him as something more and something real. I can’t wait to be alone with him. Every game we played since this moment was no match to the emotions I can was able to build up inside me the second his eyes land on mine. The world stops and it’s just us.

Armie extends his hand across the table. I’m scared to touch him. In the past, this was something I was forbidden to do or people are gonna turn their heads and eye two guys holding their hands.

But with Armie, I got used to saying, “Fuck it” and just did it.

I give him my hand and we intertwine the fingers. I stare at our hands and then look back at him. His eyes are shining, there’s such warmth evaporating his face; the skin, his lips, the nose, his eyes…I’m absolutely certain it’s because of how we engage in our intimate moments.

He’s shining because of dick. Case closed.

God, I’m so in love with him.

Armie lets go of my hand and gets a pack of cigarettes out from his pocket. He takes one and offers me some. I take it. He lights his own and I do the same with mine.

“Hey um…there’s a party tonight. At a friend’s house.” I said it flat out and sipped my coffee.

“Cool. You wanna go?” He smiled.

“I don’t know. What about you?”

“Look Tim, the fact that we’re now together and getting serious, does not mean you shouldn’t have a social life of your own. You should go, enjoy, have fun.” He said. I know he’s right and all but…at the same time I wanna be out and drink with my friends, and lay in his arms and smell him.

“What about you?” I ask him.

“I can meet up with my own friends.”

Guess he got that covered.

“Aren’t you…mad, or…something…because I didn’t invite you with me?” This is the question I never dared to ask Miles when we were together. Whenever we would go out, we would go separately and we were only together at his place or at my place. There was nothing more to it. We’d pretend we don’t know each other in public and that was our relationship.

And now I have a chance to make everything right.

“Honestly, not at all.” He answers and inhales his cigarette.

He’s looking at me and trying to come up with the right answer.

“Look, I like you, a lot, and even more than that, we’re on a good path, but maybe, I don’t know…I don’t know how to explain it to you...”

I can’t help him with this. I inhale my smoke.

“I want the world to know about us, but at the same time, I want to keep you as my little secret, and of course, I want you to keep me as a secret. Not as little but... I guess I’m still getting used to us living in this bubble. And it’s not that I don’t want people to know about you because I’m ashamed or anything, or because you’re a guy. I just…for just a little while, I would like it to be just the two of us.”

His words are so beautiful. I understand him, I feel the same way. But I’m just too damn tired. I feel like I’ve been walking on a mine field ever since we started dating. I gave it a shot in the past and it didn’t work, I had to be careful with my words, my actions, if I’m looking at him, if I’m saying stuff to the right people. That relationship was tiring and exhausting. I am so fucking done with being nice and listening to someone else. Nobody has that right to tell me what I can or can not do. I know Armie would never call me in the middle of the night and say “Hey, I know you’re asleep but tomorrow morning, you don’t know me, okay?”, and would hung up the phone. I argued with him the next day how ashamed he was of me and of us that he didn’t sleep up until 3 or 4 in the morning because he was trying to come up with a plan on how to keep this relationship private. This was not a private relationship, it was not a relationship at all. We broke up that second, and two days later we got back together again.

I let go completely and felt no shame when I started crying in front of him.

“Tim, hey, hey. Fuck, I didn’t mean to go this far. Are you okay?” Armie extends his hands across the table and is touching my shoulders and my face. I can feel him but I can’t stop crying.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m sorry for causing a scene.” I wipe my tears with a tissue he took out for me.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry, are those tears of…”

“Joy. Armie. They’re tears of joy.” I chuckle through tears.

“Oh, phew! God, you scared me. I thought I was doing something bad, and I wouldn’t even know how to…um…handle a breakup…”

I frown at him. He makes me laugh so bad and so quickly.

“Shut up. There’s no breakup, are you insane?”

He got another tissue out and gave it to me so I could blow my nose.

“No, Armie, I’m tearing up because I’m emotional and happy, and you just…you know…”

“I know, I know. Well then, I’m happy I made you cry out of happiness.”

He’s so bad at this, I adore him.

“Just don’t ever scare me like that…” He says and sips his coffee.

He leaves me laughing so hard. I love that I found a person that can make me cry and smile at the same time within three seconds apart.

“Me too.”

“I’d kiss you if I could.” He whispered.

I blow him a kiss and we’re silent for the next two minutes or so.

“You okay?” He wants to make sure I’m fine. Of course he feels guilty that he kinda caused a scene, but the affection and the questions…like I said, I adore him. I skipped all the levels that a person is required to cross when they fall in love, and I went straight to adoration.

“Yeah…”

He smiles at me again and my heart falls out of my chest.

“I’ll give you a key then.” I said.

“Sounds good.”

We continue drinking our coffees, smoking and talking. He paid in the end, just like he said he would, and we were off. Once we sat inside the car, I pulled him by his sweater and started kissing him. Making out with him. He didn’t hesitate to kiss me back. Armie’s hands traveled from my neck down to my waist, pulling me closer and closer to him, I wish I could just climb onto his lap but I couldn’t. The car stuff was in my way, and somebody could see us. After I was satisfied with the amount of Armie I had sucked inside my mouth, we were off again, for real, this time.

His usual parking spot was taken so he parked a bit further down the block and we walked our way back to my place. It was cold, it was snowing, but I was in the warmest place on Earth. Inside of the arms of someone I was in love with. Literally. As we were walking and talking, Armie put his arm around me, on my shoulder and I put mine on his back. Now we’re walking, talking and holding each other. Just us. This is our little world.

Armie took Archie out the minute we walked in. He said that he will continue the walk to the bakery so he could get us something to eat. I undressed myself and called my mom. We talked the entire time Armie was out. She asks about Armie, of course, and I tell her the little things about him. I’m waiting for her to get here so she can have a look herself and analyze him to the core. She will not be disappointed, I am sure of that. When he got back, we ate what he got for us and then we, of course, fell asleep. It was still early in the day, it was only 2pm.

I woke up before him, lied there next to him and was on my phone for about an hour. I took pictures of him while sleeping, I even video taped him when he was snoring a bit. This is so precious, it’s going into my private collection. He looked like he was in a state of bliss, so calm and warm; Armie slept on his stomach.

After that hour had gone by, I got up and showered, wore some new clothes. I walked around the place naked and he never flinched. Then I got dressed and took Archie out because he was whining. Surprisingly, it went well, I was expecting for him to make a fuss about it, or wouldn’t want to move but yeah, we went out, I waited for him to finish his business and then we went back upstairs. We were gone for about 20 minutes.

At around 6 pm I decided he’s had it enough. I walk in the room, quietly, he’s still not moving. There’s a smile on my face but I don’t mean well. I climbed back onto the bed and nuzzle into his neck. He’s waking up slowly. I’m whispering against his neck; calling his name, telling him what I did while he was asleep, I told him I took Archie out and he smiles with his eyes still closed. Anyone would read that face as proud and happy. His two worlds are colliding and colliding well. I change the mood and start telling him how dirty my mind was at that moment. I straddle his hips, not caring that our cocks might be touching even through fours layers of clothes. I kiss his neck, kiss his chest through the shirt and pull up to kiss him as I repositioned in my original pose next to him.

The rage and fire inside me refused to keep it down any longer so I pushed my hand down his pajama bottoms and grabbed his cock.

“Fuck…cold…” He gasped, meaning my hands were cold. They were not, he was the one who was warm.

“We’re not in the car…” I whisper against his neck and continued to stroke him.

We both know that this Friday evening was not going to be the day we have sex. We’re still taking baby steps, even tiny baby steps, in our case. I’m still stroking him, faster and then I slow it down, he’s getting harder in my hand. Upstairs, Armie is kissing me in the dark, tugging my hair and eating away my jaw and neck. I stop to take my clothes off, he does the same. The fact that five minutes ago he was still asleep and now he’s getting naked for me and because of me…some lines you never cross, some you do, some you come close to, and then there are we, we destroyed those lines, they don’t exist in our book. Armie’s now left alone with his mouth empty, but I rush to fulfill his spot and straddle his chest with my face turned to his crotch. Just like the night before. As much as he can reach, Armie’s lips are already around my cock upside down. He’s kissing and caressing my butt, biting into the skin, I yelp every time because I’m sensitive down there.

I keep on waiting for his tongue to explore the local spot, but he never goes anywhere near my hole. Either he doesn’t know how to do it, and is waiting for me to do it first, or he doesn’t want to because we’re not heading there this lovely evening. I can assure myself and him, that Armie knows more about sex with guys than he gives himself the credit. After all, what he did to me in the shower, and the other day when he rubbed against me…I was afraid I was dying, that’s how good he was. And in the end, it doesn’t matter which gender you’re doing, the goal is to satisfy the partner, and he did just that. Him and his motherfucking mouth.

I swallow him and I enjoy every second of it. Just what I need at the end of the day and just what I need before he finishes me off and sends me in public with the after-sex smell. I won’t shower again, I don’t care. Armie tastes amazing, he’s delicious; sweet and warm, it makes me twitch into his mouth, for sure. Can I take him to go? I’m doing my best to swallow him whole, letting out sounds that he loves. On the other side, he’s doing the same thing. It’s slow and dirty, it’s warm and it’s making me dizzy.

Some time had passed and I’m leaking, so is he, I swallow his precum and moan when I do so. He bites my butt in response. This is perfection. In moments like these ones, I wish to cancel all my plans and stay at home and suck Armie off for the rest of the night. One problem though; it’s turning him on so much, so much that he has to come eventually, when his cum flies from his hole that’s when everything is over. I wish he were that hard to satisfy just so I can have him in my mouth for hours and hours to come.

It came at me as a shock.

“Fuck, oh, Armie…I’m gonna come…fuck…” I gasped and moaned because I was taken by a surprise. Everything was fine two seconds ago, I was doing him like always and then he must’ve done something or hit a sweet spot I never knew I had, because very soon after that, the familiar wave of warmth came at me and I was dangerously close.

“Me too Tim…fuck…”

I pop him out and stroke him until his muscles contract underneath me and I open my mouth to catch what’s coming at my face. Soon after him, I follow up on his orgasm and come myself. I turn around to watch him swallowing me and licking his lips to get everything inside his mouth. Love it. He’s fed, I’m fed. We’re done.

This time, he’s the one who repositioned himself and joined me at the end of the bed, embracing me and kissing the back of my neck.

“Thank you.” He whispered. I turned around to smile at him.

We spent the next hour or so in bed. He then got up to shower and I was getting things ready for tonight. I texted my friend and he told me he’ll pick me up from outside of the apartment at 9 pm. I didn’t want to go anymore. I wanted to stay with him here.

I put an extra key on the counter in the kitchen.

He got out with a towel around his waist. This is the reason why I wanted to stay home with him. Still, I wish to balance things on his muscles.

“You should go out, you’re young, you should have fun and get wasted and call your boyfriend and tell him how much you care about him.” He said. Oh, so this is where we are now.

“Sorry, who’s my boyfriend again?” I play along.

“Little shit…” He muttered.

I smirk at him.

“Is that what we are?” I ask.

“What?”

“What you just said.” I said.

“Tim, babe, I need to hear you say it out loud because I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Now he’s teasing me.

“Boyfriends? We’re boyfriends, right?” Spill it out boy, oh God.

“Lemme think about it, I’ll get back at you.”

He throws that between us and walks away with a smirk.

“Jerk…” I whisper, he can hear me.

I run after him, playfully punch his back and then I jump on top of him from behind. As much as I can reach. Armie giggles because he’s sensitive and turns around almost immediately with a smile. He embraces me by my waist and pins me against the door.

“Yes. We are. We are boyfriends.” He says and I could hear my heart exploding into tiny little pieces out of sheer happiness.

We kiss. Just like lovers do. Just like a couple that got the permission to kiss each other as to seal the deal on them now being a married couple. I open my eyes and Armie’s softly smiling down at me.

“Are you tired?” He asks me. His skin is still wet and warm.

“Just a little bit.”

“When are you leaving?” He asked and we part.

“Around 9.”

“I’ll call a friend and see if he’s available around the same time, so I could feed Archie and take him out.”

I told him about the key and he thanked me.

“You never did tell me about those…friends. Neither did I.” I said this, behind his back. He lights a cigarette and offers me one. I decline.

“These are just co-workers from the University. I wouldn’t call them friends-friends, maybe buddies. I don’t know. They’re okay I guess. Two of them.” He says.

Is this what happens when you get older? You don’t have friends anymore, just co-workers, and people you work with but don’t really like.

“Be good. Don’t do some nasty business.” He said and I scoff.

“Relax, Armie, it’s just a party.”

“I know. But girls and other boys…I’m jealous, sue me.”

“No need to be. I’m already taken.” I wink at him.

He playfully rolled his eyes and winked back at me. He put the cigarette in the ashtray to scratch his head.

“You should be the one to watch out. You’re still a new cake in the world filled with men, so…” I said.

“Sorry. Don’t know what you’re talking about. My boyfriend’s in the room now.”

“Oh…”

I go for the towel or to at least grab his crotch. He sees what I’m up to and grabs my hands, all along giggling.

“Go.” He wants to be serious, but he’s a lost cause next to me.

“I don’t wanna…” I whine.

“Go or I’m gonna kick you out.”

“You can’t kick me out from my own place.”

“I can. I’m bigger and stronger. Don’t test me kid.”

I indeed leave and go back to my room to get ready. As I was combing my hair, Armie walked in and threw the usual “Beautiful” comment at me. Breathe, don’t blush now.

At 9 I got a text that my friend, Dan, was downstairs. I kiss Armie goodbye and wish him to have fun tonight. And I’m off.

We go to Emma’s house, the girl who invited us to the party as to celebrate the end of exams. There’s a lot of familiar faces I never saw before, or didn’t remember. We sit around, drink and talk, there’s some weed at someone’s hands but I never managed to figure it out in whose. I’m having fun, it really has been a while. It’s good to get out of the house more. We’re listening to music, dancing, drinking, there’s even some food which is good because I was starving. Somewhere around 11:40 pm Armie texted me to see if I was having a good time. At that point I was a bit wasted but I managed to respond to him 10 minutes later until I was perfectly certain I got the words right. He went out for a beer and to watch a game in a bar. As much as I’m having fun here, I must admit I miss him just a little bit. This could actually work.

As I’m texting in a hallway, I hear movement behind me, and then I hear someone walking and stopping just so close to me that it made me feel very uncomfortable. Some personal space would’ve been nice. I can’t turn around, I’ll feel dizzy, I’m already more drunk than I had wanted to be.

“Tim?”

This voice sounds very familiar. Oh God, I hope it’s not…

I turn around and come face to face to the person that fucked me up for good. Literally.

“Miles?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeellloooo dramaaaaa
> 
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	19. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night continues. Timmy runs into somebody from his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning babies!! Yesterday was a rather shitty day at work, then i went to a party last night and had a blast. So, my mood corrected lol. I'm still not completely woken up but i couldn't wait to post this new chapter. Enjoy it, hope you'll like it, and let me know what you think about it in the comments!

“Hey…” He smiles at me. His eyes are shining.

I’m looking at him but I can’t register that it’s actually him. He’s changed, he shaved his hair off and he got out of those high school clothes.

But the sight of him doesn’t make me feel good. On the contrary, my stomach tightens, I don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol or because of the fact that I haven’t eaten in few hours. Some snacks here and there are not a full meal for a person to be satisfied. But next to the alcohol or food coma, my gut’s telling me that this isn’t gonna end well. This is the first time I saw him ever since we broke up. We had a clean break up, but I’m still so angry because I doubt he knew how I felt while he was toying around with me. He knew what he was doing, he knew it with clear head, but did he feel bad? Doubt it. He was doing everything to try and protect himself on one hand from the society, and fuck me on the other one.

“What are you doing here?” I flat out asked him. I don’t want or need to keep playing along, pretending to be happy I saw him, because I’m not. The alcohol was kicking me.

“You won’t even say hi?” He’s still smiling.

I shake my head slowly. I feel dizzy already.

“Emma’s boyfriend invited me.” He said.

We’re standing in the hallway, I’m clinging onto the bottle of beer in one hand and my phone with Armie’s text opened in the other one. I need to get out of here.

I wish I never came here.

“How have you been?” He’s continuing even though he can clearly see I’m not up for chit-chatting. Especially with him.

I frown as to ask him in return, why the fuck would I answer you that. That’s when somebody passed next to us and barely brushed against Miles and he started leaning, back and forth. He’s drunk. He’s wasted. If he tries something, I doubt I would be able to escape it. He’s bigger than me. Of course he is.

“Who’s the guy?” He asked me.

I couldn’t believe what was falling out of his mouth. Is he for real? How does he know about…the guy? And if he does, why does he care? It stunned me because it was him who asked me, him, the guy I haven’t seen or spoken to in over a year now. Now he shows up out of no where and is yet another person to know about Armie, without me letting him in. I only told the people I care about. And who the fuck invited him to the party?

“What guy?”

“I saw you two today.” He said. He’s not smiling anymore. He probably saw us as we were walking from where Armie parked to my place. And we did look like a couple, holding each other close.

“What’s it to you?”

“I’m just curious. I knew you’d move on other guys after me…”

My head is pounding, I feel like throwing up. He’s seen me with Armie. But seriously, what’s it to him, why is he curious?

I wish I never came here.

“I can’t do this right now.” I said and moved away from him. I turn around and go straight to the bathroom. My body is asking for something, I don’t know what, I’m dizzy and I need something to burst out of my chest. I need someone to take my clothes off and make me breathe. I can’t do this. When I felt like dying, which is something I’ve been practicing recently, I jugged onto the bottle and finished it off. The hardest part was swallowing it and not letting it go back. I’m looking at myself in the mirror and I see a mess. A lost boy who doesn’t know anything and is yet toying with the world.

I wish I never came here.

In a rush, I forgot to lock the door, and few seconds later, Miles walked in. Like I knew he would and still did nothing about it.

“You still haven’t forgiven me?” He asks and closes the door.

“What are you doing here? Get out.”

“I need answers, Tim.” One step closer and I’m gonna scream.

“Piss off.” I throw it at him, I don’t feel bad at all.

I wish I never came here.

“I can’t…did you forgive me?” One step closer.

“Did you deserve it?”

“Come on. It’s been a year. We should burry the hatchets.” He chuckles out.

“Seriously?” This is bullshit. My head is still very much pounding.

“Yeah.”

“No, thank you. I’m fine like this.” I said and moved to the back of the bathroom, leaned against the bath tub.

“Come on, Tim. Are you seriously gonna stay mad at me for the rest of your life? We tried and it didn’t work. End of story.”

“Exactly. End of story. Now leave me alone.” I snapped, and I didn’t care.

He sighs. We’re not moving, he’s not saying anything, I just get up and head straight for the door. He turns around and grabs me by my shoulders.

“Wait, wait, wait…okay, I’m sorry.” His voice is so strange to me.

I’m way too drunk to fight it off but by some force, I’m faster when I turned around to face him. I can’t stand still so I just move away from him and hold the door handle.

“I don’t want your apology.” I said, still trying to keep my gut down.

“Then what do you want from me?” This just seems too unreal to be true, are we really doing this right now?

This bathroom felt like an isolation room, we were isolated from the rest and suddenly, all the action that has been happening in the bathroom seemed too foreign to me. Like all the laws of the world stopped and I had no where to go. Here he is, saying all those words I’ve been dying to hear from him. One year too late. This is not who I am anymore, this is not the man I want to be with anymore, this is not the shit I signed up for.

“Nothing. I don’t need anything from you.”

I said. He shook his head in disbelief and is looking at the floor.

“And you’re the one who ran up to me and kept on asking me questions, and I asked you to leave me alone.” I added.

Silence. Why am I even in the same room as him? This was allowed last year. To sneak off to a party and make out in the bathroom.

“You never did tell me who’s the guy.” He’s insisting on this topic.

“Again, what’s it to you?”

I start turning the door handle and his hand flies on top of mine. I remove it instantly. Last year, his hand on mine…totally normal, and I indeed loved the feeling. And now…I find him utterly disgusting.

I wish I never came here.

“Move.” I say looking at his hand.

I turn my worthless body around and slam my back against the door. He spread his hands on the door around my head. He’s taller than me, but now he bent the knees so our faces would be at the same height. I hate this.

I look up and his eyes are stiff, he looks angry and it’s scaring me.

“Miles, move, I want to go.”

I say it again, now I raise my voice. Everything is spinning around me. I just want to get out of here.

“Oh, I love the way you say my name.” He moans. Utterly disgusting.

I took the final breath as I felt him push up against me. This is just so disgusting. He’s drunk and he stinks, and he’s scaring me. Now, this is turning him on? I wish I could just bang my head against the door and let blood flow just so he could see how much I need him to back the fuck off.

“Last time you were burning when we were this close. It was making you so horny, Timmy.”

Now I’m just pissed. He’s continuing with the bullshit.

“You know what else I love?” He continues.

He raised a hand and is now touching my cheek. I move away. I don’t want him touching me.

“When you would touch me so beautifully.”

He touches me again and I move once more.

“Stop…” I breathed out. Can’t he see how much I’m suffering?

“I know you want it.” He smirked.

“Oh, fuck off! I told you to leave me alone!” I snapped and screamed at his face. Maybe I have spat on him but what does it matter now anyway, I should’ve done this a long, long time ago.

I wish I never came here.

“I can’t, Tim. I saw you today with that guy, he’s probably your boyfriend. Fuck, he’s a lucky one indeed. Now he has something I lost.” I wanted to kick him in the crotch for taking Armie into his mouth the way that he did.

“I am not a thing.” I said.

“You’re not, sorry. You were special, you still are special, and I treated you like garbage.”

He breathes out so close to my face. I froze, why can’t I move? I’m drunk, he can take me any time.

“I shouldn’t have done it.” He adds.

“No.”

Silence again. He’s breathing so close to me.

“Break up with him. Be with me. I promise you, I’m a changed man. I promise to treat you better now.” I couldn’t believe these words were coming out of his mouth. This entire night was a sheer shock to me. And now this, at the end of the day he’s saying this. I don’t know whether or not I should believe him. I don’t know whether or not he’s joking or is he serious. If he is joking that means he just wants to fuck me and let me go. That’s the way he thinks he can clear his conscience.

I wish I never came here.

“Why? So you could make a fool out of me, humiliate me, ignore me, pretend I don’t exist, pretend my feelings are all inside my head. No, I’m done. I almost gave in again last year, but not anymore.” I feel my nose is running and my eyes are filling with tears. Not now. I hate being drunk and emotional. I wish I never came here.

“I know, I know. I was confused back then…”

“You seemed pretty convincing to me. You knew where to stick your dick in.” I feel proud for saying this.

He stopped. What is he gonna do now? I don’t feel bad for saying this one bit.

“I can’t stop thinking about you all day long…” He breathes out again.

“Too bad. I don’t think about you one bit.”

“Please, Tim…”

He’s now getting closer to me, I can feel his breathe on my skin. And I don’t like it. I wish I never came here.

“Just let me kiss you one last time.”

“No.” I get it out of my throat.

“Don’t cry.” He wipes my tears and I try to move my head away from him. My heart broke a little when I realized that 12 hours ago, Armie was the one wiping my tears for me when he basically flat out admitted that he’s in love with me. I’m drunk, I register things differently. He is my boyfriend and he’s in love with me. And I’m in love with him. I can’t wait for this jerk to finish his guilt trip so I can go home back to Armie.

“You’re upsetting me.” I said through shivering lips. I am crying but I don’t feel like it.

“Okay, then just let me fuck you, please. You feel so good. And you smell amazing. Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know about this. It will be quick, I’m already hard just from looking at you. Can’t you feel it…”

He grabs my hand and put it onto his crotch. He was hard, yes, but I pulled away immediately. I felt so dirty. I knew this one was coming. He couldn’t resist me on this field. He based our entire relationship on just sex. When he said I smelled amazing, I knew he was talking about the fact that not so many hours ago I engaged in an intimate and sexually fulfilled act with my boyfriend. The fact that he could point out that I even smell good at all was beyond me.

“Oh God…” I still feel dirty. I shouldn’t be doing this.

“This is what you’re doing to me. Please Tim, one last time.” He’s still breathing out next to my face.

This is my chance to escape. Make him weak and on the last shot, run away. I pretend to give into him and his cowardly begging and lean in to take his mind off of reality. I open my mouth as to catch him staring at them, he thinks we’re gonna kiss. And when he comes closer where I can actually say that we were barely an inch apart, I grab his hands and push him away. He stumbles around the back of the bathroom as I opened the door. There were people passed out drunk in the hallway. My cheeks are still wet from crying.

“Goodbye Miles.” He doesn’t believe it himself.

I walk out and turn around to give him a message. Probably not a good idea because I’m already dizzy. Everything just came up to my throat and I was ready to burst.

“The next time I see you next to me, or spying on me, or talking to me, I will do something to keep you away from me for good.” And I closed the door behind me.

He never showed up to follow me. Good. I’m relived. I wanna throw up so bad. I need to go home, I need to go home.

In the crowd I find Dan. He’s sitting with some girls and is smoking weed. There it is. Damn, I’m too late. In the back, I saw Miles stumbling around as he was trying to get through the crowd.

“I have to go. I’m not feeling well.” I said it to Dan.

“Bro, you need a lift?”

“No, no, I’ll walk, I need fresh air.” I insist, I need to be alone.

“Dude, you’re drunk, I’m gonna drive you.” He’s already getting up and excusing himself to the girls.

“Dan, please. I’m fine, my stomach hurts, I’ll call my brother and talk the entire way back. And you’re high. Not as equally as safe.” I said it, and he laughed. I was right. It made me laugh as well.

“Are you sure?” He asks one last time.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will. Hey, can you give one cigarette?”

He gave me four, and a lighter. I thanked him again. I hugged him, put my jacket on and ran out of that place. Miles was no where to be found. I hid in the dark alleyway and light up a cigarette. Breathe, breathe, breathe, don’t cry, you’re good, you’re fine. He’s gone. He’s so fucking gone.

I need to go home.

I take my phone out, it was 00:29. Armie’s probably home. I call him.

“Armie?”

“Hi babe, how’s the party?” His voice kills me instantly. He thinks I’m having a blast.

“Where are you?” I don’t answer his question.

“I’m…still at a bar. Are you okay?” He notices it immediately. I’m shaking and I can’t take it anymore. It’s cold outside, I’m drunk and emotional, I don’t want to hold it in any longer.

“No. I need you to come and pick me up.”

“Text me the address, I’m leaving in 2 minutes.”

I love him.

I start crying again when I hung up. He’s gonna come and pick me up, he’s gonna cancel all of his plans for me. He really is in love with me.

I wipe my tears and text him the address.

Almost 10 minutes later, I notice his car park in front of me. I’m already on my third cigarette. He sees me and gets out, leaving the car door opened, I rush to him, letting the cigarette fall into the snow where it got turned off the same moment. I’m stumbling against the wall.

“Tim, Tim, hey, hey, babe, breathe, breathe. Are you drunk? Did you throw up? You want me to take you to the ER?” He’s holding my entire body with his own two hands, it was like nothing to him.

“No, I’m fine. Gimme a moment.” I miss his voice, his hands, his face.

“Anything you need, love.”

“Oh, fuck…I’m gonna…”

I push him away and turn around and began bawling my guts out. Everything went into the snow. Armie was there, holding my hair away from my face and was, if I recall correctly, caressing my back, and repeating that everything will be okay. After four rounds of vomiting, I feel better. My nose was running, I was crying, I was drooling all over the place. I don’t want him to see me like this.

“Okay now?” He asks and takes out tissues out of his pocket to wipe my mouth. In the morning, he’s wiping my tears, at night, he’s wiping my saliva off.

I nod.

“I want to go home.”

I cry out. I can hear him make some noise, but he’s not letting go of me just yet. Armie’s still here, wiping my face and caressing my back.

“Let’s get you home.”

I’m exhausted in his arms, I’m gonna faint. Armie opened the back door and I immediately rushed to lie there and probably fell asleep because the next thing I remember is Armie shaking my body by my legs.

“Tim, Tim? Baby, we’re home.”

“Mhm…”

He helps me get out and helps me up the stairs. The second we walked in, he took my jacket off, my sweater off, my jeans, along with my boxers, my socks and helps me into the shower cabin. I slid down against the wall. The water is just right. I’m still dizzy. He’s talking about something but I don’t think I can hear him right.

Armie washes my hair and rubs my body with his hands. It’s quiet. It’s just us. He’s topless as well. No, wait. He’s naked as well. He wants to wash me and the only way he could come close to me is if he walked inside the cabin with me. I stare at his body as his muscles were contracting while he was washing my body. The last thing I wanted to do was do something sexual. I feel so dirty after Miles, I felt like a cheater. Now that I think about it, I could’ve said no, and run away from him quickly. But I did say no, I did push him away, I did run away as fast as I could.

He’s so sweet with me. He’s kissing my head and my cheeks, caressing my arms and my back. Wonder what will he think of me when I tell him what I did an hour ago.

“You scared me.” He said it. The water stopped and it was just us curled up on opposite sides of the wall. I brought my knees to my face. He spread his legs. It was silent until he spoke first.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper to my knees. Tears are gathering once again.

“You wanna talk about it?”

I nod. He lets go of the shower handle and he’s waiting for me to talk. The second he let go of the handle, I registered that the water was turned off and I realized that I no longer smell of Armie and our evening action. My mind is slow. I feel sad again.

I take my face out and I’m trying not to look at him.

“Okay. Everything was going alright, I was having a lot of fun. And then I ran into Miles.”

“No.” He’s shocked as well.

“Yes.”

“Did he say anything?” I can’t really tell if he’s angry or disappointed.

“Yeah.”

“What?”

“He told me he saw us, and begged me to break up with you so I could be with him. He kept shitting about being a good person and promising me he’s gonna treat me better this time...”

“Did he touch you?” Armie asked. Totally justified.

“He tried to kiss me but I pushed him away. And he…”

“What?”

“He asked me to sleep with him one last time. And then he put my hand down there but I pulled it back right away and I just left. God, I feel so dirty.”

Silence. Armie’s not saying a single word. He’s gonna leave me now.

“Nothing happened I swear. I held my guard up ever since I saw him. Nothing happened, he didn’t kiss me or anything like that. But he tried. And it made me really upset and I cried a bit and…”

I look up at him. His eyes are like daggers. He’s gonna leave me now.

“Nothing happened. You have to believe me!”

I scream at him. I’m crying. Why wouldn’t he say a single thing? Does he hate me now? Why doesn’t he believe me?

Armie crawls towards me and embraces me. It’s slippery and it was getting cold, but inside his arms, it was the warmest place in the whole world.

“Shh, shh, shh, I believe you, okay? I trust you. I know nothing happened. It’s okay.”

He hugs my body to his while we’re kneeling in the shower cabin.

“Armie I was so scared. And I kept thinking if he tries something…I’m drunk, I can’t fight him off. I’m afraid of him now…” I breathe out against his ear.

“It’s good that you managed to get out.” He takes my head in his hands and looks at me. I think this is the moment he either regrets or is pretty sure about us.

“I swear to you, nothing happened. I was pissed when he showed up. Nothing he said could get to me. All I was thinking about was how I wish I never left here, how I should’ve stayed home with you and I could’ve avoided this scenario. I’m…I’m…”

“Shh, Tim, okay, I believe you, I really do. I’m sorry. I am so sorry you went through this shit again. If I could find him and kick his ass…”

“I wanted to do the same thing but I couldn’t. I was scared of the consequences.”

Armie breathes out and smiles. He’s caressing my face now.

“See? This is why we’re perfect for each other. You think, and I don’t.” It makes me smile. I’m feeling better. The water helped.

“I’m sorry I ruined your night out, I’m…” I began.

“Shut up. You’re more important to me than some game.” My eyes are filling up with tears again.

“What about your friends?”

“They left half an hour ago. I wanted to stay until the game was over so I could go home. And then you called. It doesn’t matter. You’re safe now. I promise you.”

Armie hugs me again and I remove myself from his neck to kiss him. He doesn’t flinch, he kisses me back. In the end, he kisses my forehead.

“Let’s get you to bed.” He said and helps me get up.

“I’m exhausted.”

“I know. I’ll tuck you in, jump right in there with you and in the morning, when you sober up, you’ll feel a lot better.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He dries my body off, my hair as well, I’m still feeling a bit numb. He dresses me up and helps me go to the bed. I lied down and felt sick again.

“Armie…I’m still drunk but I’m not somewhere out there, so can I tell you in person what I was planning on telling you over the phone?”

He chuckles.

“Sure, babe.” He says and strokes my hair. I’m not looking him in the eyes.

Here it goes.

“Armie, I think I love you.”

I say it softly and cover my face up so he can’t see me blushing.

Silence. Why isn’t he saying anything? Did I even say it out loud? I’m still dizzy even while lying down.

“That “think” is gonna be gone by the morning. Because I do love you Tim.” He said.

“You do?” I uncover my face and look at him again.

“No, dumbass I just love teasing you. Now sleep, I’ll go change and I’m right behind you.”

“Okay, good night.” I closed my eyes and nuzzle into the pillow.

“Good night, babe, sleep well.” He kisses my cheek and leaves the room to go and change.

I hear him move and now it just got to me. Did we exchange the first “I love you”s? What was his answer? I don’t remember. I lift my head to make sure.

“Wait. You said you loved me too right?”

All I can hear is Armie chuckle in the bathroom across the hallway.

Guess that’s my answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was looking for the perfect name for this title, i wanted it to capture both sides of Timmy's world. I wanted for everyone to think that just by clicking on something called "Regret" after running into one of his exes, the following situation can not be good. In the end, the only thing Tim regrets is going to the party and not canceling it, he'd avoid a scenario like this one if he'd just stayed home.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	20. Self love through him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after Timmy's hectic night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dears!! I'm still at work but found time to edit this chapter and post it from my phone. As always, I'm grateful for all the love and support this fanfic has been getting lately, thank you! Hope you'll like this chapter, enjoy it and let me know what you think about it in the comments!

It was dark when I opened my eyes.

What time of day was it? Night? Early morning? Did I sleep for five minutes? Five days? A year?

I drooled all over my pillow, and I was sweating, slept on my stomach turned towards the window. I extended my arm to the other side behind me. It’s cold, he’s not here. Did he leave? Where and when did he leave to? 

Images started coming back to me; Miles, the bathroom incident, throwing up outside in front of Armie, him bathing me, me confessing what had happened, his silence…I told him I loved him. Oh shit. I told him I loved him…did he run because of that? What was his answer? 

There was a full list of things that could have chased him away, starting with the I love you part, throwing up, and of course, Miles. I don’t know why I got the feeling he doesn’t believe me that nothing had happened between Miles and I.

I should get up and look for him. My head is killing me, I need to take something for the pain. For an unknown reason, I still remember everything. It seemed impossible, but I did.

It was 3 pm. 

Oh dear Lord.

Prepare to be heart broken.

I open the door and I’m instantly blinded by the light. My entire body aches, this is the most awful hungover i ever had. Archie is coming at me and I have never been so happy seeing a dog running towards me. I pet him. This means Armie’s still here, he wouldn’t leave his dog anywhere for anything. 

He’s sitting on one of those bar stools and was typing something on his phone.

“Hey…” I say, my voice is raspy.

“Good morning.” He lifts his head to look at me. There is no reaction. 

I must’ve look like a total mess. My eyes hurt, my head is killing me, my throat is…ruined, burned with alcohol.

“Did you rest?” He asks and continues to type.

“I guess…”

“Good…”

He’s not saying anything, I don’t know what to do now. He’s obviously mad and angry with me. I don’t know if it’s because he’s jealous because of last night, or because I got wasted and was an easy target. I felt like crying. Silence between us. The fact that he’s here sooths me just a little bit but it isn’t helping if he’s not talking to me.

I was called a drama queen, I think I am, for real. When I’m upset I cry, and when I don’t have anything better to do, like now, I go back to bed and cry myself to sleep. My chest feels like it’s gonna explode from everything that has happened in the last 14 hours or so. I can’t take it, I need to vent. He's still mad, and won't talk to me, and i can't stand the silence. This is too much for me, i can't take it. The silence is killing me. 

“I’m gonna go back to bed…” I said, feeling my eyes tearing up.

“Why?”

“I want to sleep some more.” I'm trying my best not to let my voice break. 

“You just said that you’re rested.”

Why is he like this? I turn around because I’m gonna head to my bedroom and because I didn’t want him to see me crying.

“Yeah. I still want to sleep more.”

“Okay.”

He’s not coming after me. He’s not saying anything to make me feel better and to let me know that we’re good. He's not stopping me. 

The second I turned around I started whimpering. The bed is still warm, it’s waiting for me. Victor and Jules are supposed to come back on Monday evening. Armie’s gonna be gone within few hours. He probably stayed to see if I’m okay, and then he’ll leave me. It was nice while it lasted. For the fall of this relationship I’m gonna be the blame. I screwed up. Big time. I chased away, the only man I…I loved? I’m just sad we didn’t get to sex. It would’ve been nice to feel him inside of me and give him the pleasure of being with another guy. He saw what it was like being with a guy and he decided it was easier with a woman. Exactly, a woman. I’m not even a man. I’m a boy. A kid. 

My pillow is already getting wet with tears and I’m doing my best to choke the silent whimpers I’m letting out. I don’t want him to see me crying. I don’t want him to listen to me crying. If he does, then he'll know it's because of him and if he stays after this with me, it'll be out of sympathy. I don't want to force anyone being with me, no matter how good it was. 

I’m gonna miss him so much. The way that he made me laugh, the way he always rushed to kiss my forehead, the way he knew how to sexually satisfy me, even for a rookie. All those days we kept running into each other in the bakery, every car ride, every sleep over…my heart aches when I think I won’t be having that with him anymore.

I wish I never went to the stupid party.

I’m letting everything out but there’s still more inside me. I should sleep and then I’ll feel better. 

For sure.

I hear a door opening as I was falling asleep. My back is turned to it, so I can’t see him. He’s probably here to pack his things and go.

“Tim?”

I’m not responding. Let him think I’m sleeping. He should just go. I don’t need no goodbyes. I won't be able to take it. 

“Tim, I know you’re not sleeping.”

Still not responding. He knew I wasn’t sleeping by some crazy knowledge he took out on me. Hold it in dude, you can’t cry now. 

The door closed.

Good. He’s gone. I breathe out.

But I hear footsteps.

Oh God, he’s here.

The bed damps and I feel his enormous body pressed against mine. Armie puts his arm around my waist and nuzzles against the back of my head.

Sleeping or not, he stayed here, he lied behind me and was caressing my arm. Eyes stayed closed. His deep breathing told me he wasn’t asleep either. I should turn around and confess. I should tell him that it’s okay, that if he wants us to end it, I won’t stop him. There was no need for staying in a relationship where one partner needs to force the other one for something they didn’t want to do. 

He inhales my skin and breathes out. I start whimpering. I can’t control it anymore.

Armie kisses my neck and breathes into it.

“Don’t cry, baby.” His voice is so soft, it makes me whimper again because I’m gonna miss it so fucking much.

He still thinks I’m pretending to be asleep.

I should stop playing chicken and face him. After all, we’ve went too far to end it this way. I breathe out and turn my body to face him.

“There you are…” He smiles at me, softly.

“When are you leaving?” I ask him, trying to smile, trying to stay serious, trying to be sad and happy.

“Where?”

“Back to your place.”

“Monday. On Tuesday morning I have class. Well, exams actually. And then I’m free…” He says and pushes closer against me.

“I’m happy for you.” I really am.

“We’re both gonna be free after that at the same time. I was thinking we could go away for couple of days. Maybe somewhere here or if your mom would let you, we could go to Europe, or…”

Hold up. He’s making plans for us now?

“What are you talking about?” I frown and I ask him.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m asking you when are you gonna leave me and you’re talking about winter breaks and what not.”

Armie removes himself from my body but stays lying on his side, supporting his head with his hands. My eyes are watering again. I’m gonna miss him.

“Leave you?”

I nod.

“Why would I leave you?”

“Because you want to break up.” Straight up.

“What the fuck? Who told you that?” He made a face I never saw before. Maybe he’s mad, but he sounds confused, like…where is all of this coming from?

“I figured that you…” I start but I’m cut in right from the start.

“Of course you did. You love making up stories.”

I change my position and mirror his. I’m facing him. The making up stories part…I don’t know what’s made up here? I screwed up and he doesn’t want to deal with it. I understand him.

Oh…that one. 

“It’s not like that. Last night, you were…” I start and once again, get cut in. 

Armie really likes cutting in people.

“Drunk. I was driving like a maniac because you scared the shit out of me. I can barely remember what you said under the shower. I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. It's an awful thing when you’re drunk and scared.”

“Do you remember me telling you about…”

“I do remember. And I still stand by the idea of kicking his ass.”

I smile, genuinely smile. He doesn’t seem like he’s joking about that part.

“Then why are you ignoring me?” I asked him.

“I am not ignoring you. I’m giving you time to rest and sober up.”

Well…okay then…

“Well don’t do that. You look pissed.” I say and put a finger on his chest. I can touch him again. It wasn’t like I was ever restrained from that.

“I’m not, Tim.” He smiles.

Armie takes my entire hand and kisses it. I’m relived like I’ve never been in my entire life.

It’s good. We’re talking. Again, it wasn’t like we broke up for real. I just thought that that’s the way we’re headed and by breaking the fall before its time would made me feel less shitty and sad. I’ve been told before that I love making up stories, but I seriously thought this is where we’re headed.

“Do you believe me?” I ask him after some time.

“I do believe you nothing happened between the two of you. I also believe everything you said to me.”

My heart warms up a bit. Or a lot. 

“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t?” He adds. 

“No.”

I intertwine our fingers. Trust…that’s the most important thing in a relationship. We both need to know that when we go out our separate ways, with other people, we absolutely must trust that our partner will not go over the shittiest idea and screw up the entire relationship. 

“Why do you believe me?” I’m curious.

“Because I know you would never let yourself get destroyed like that again. Because I see you getting sad whenever I would ask you to talk about him. Because you’re not an idiot. Because you’re a smart kid. Because you’re taken, and because…you have a boyfriend that loves you, and you love him.”

I can feel my eyes tearing up. Yes, he’s got it all right. From the beginning to the end.

“Did I miss something?”

I shake my head slowly.

“Good. You should eat something now.” He’s already on his way getting up. I spread my body across the bed and grab his hand.

“I’m not hungry.” I whined.

He sat back down and I lied my head on his lap. Armie caressed my hair. I can finally look up at him. I must’ve looked like a mess, but he's still here, touching me.

“I hate to see you cry. Look what you’ve done to your face…” He says with an almost sad look on his face. Armie’s not letting go of my hair.

“Am I not beautiful anymore?” I tease him back.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

There he goes again with those words. He’s so confident when he says them, it’s like nothing to him.

We’re silent for some time. He’s still touching my hair and I’m enjoying it very much. I’m not usually a fan of hair touching, especially my own, but him doing it…it has a special twist to it.

“How are you?” Armie’s fingers move from my hair to my face. He’s touching my nose and lips.

“Better. Now that I know we’re not breaking up.”

Armie chuckled.

“I honestly have no idea where you got that…you did nothing wrong last night. Nothing happened, you didn’t kiss him or slept with him. You did good kid. And you’re safe now.” That’s about it. The summary.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t let myself go through that again. When I saw him…I had a very bad feeling, and I wanted to get out of there. He was drunk as well, and fear just ran through me. If he tries something, I’m done. I’m done. I wouldn’t know how to fight him off. It was awful.” Somehow, remembering this, it made me feel very uneasy.

“I believe you.”

“Why?” I need to know why. 

“Because you have the same facial expression like me when I talk about…my family.”

My heart broke. The face that he made…

“Oh, Armie…”

I moved my head from his lap and sat on it, I hugged him. His warm body pressed up against mine. He smelled so good, his skin was hot, I caressed his silky hair, I want to be closer with him. I will be. Soon. if we play our cards right.

“It’s okay.” He whispers against my neck and pulls me me harder and closer. It’s not okay. It absolutely is not okay. Miles and Armie's family were and still are the two subjects we need to take caution about how we’re taking them. I don’t want him to suffer or be sad about this. I also don’t want to force him talking about it if he’s not ready yet. Give him time. Can I hold him in my arms forever?

“Are you sure you’re okay Tim?”

I part from him and smash our foreheads.

“I am. That’s the one person I wouldn’t want to have near me. And to think that a year ago, we were good, and now he’s scaring me, and if I hadn’t gotten out of there, I would’ve been a nice target for him to use me.” I said, touching his biceps in his white shirt. That thought is scary as fuck.

Armie’s holding me by my waist as he’s desperately trying to hold my gaze. I have to give in.

“Don’t say stuff like that. You’re home now, you’re safe. You’re a smart kid, I know that even while you were the drunkest, you managed to escape the trap.” His words are so soothing. 

“Won’t happen again.” I said.

Armie sighed and caressed my cheek.

“It’s not me you need to make these promises to. You need to worry about yourself first.”

“I’ll try.”

We exchange smiles. But I’m still very much tired and my eyes are puffy. I am so glad this is behind us now.

“Now I’m hungry.” I said and was on my way to get off of him, but Armie stopped me, holding my hand.

“Hold up kid.”

I’m confused. Oh, is he asking for a kiss?

“You’ve got something to say to me?” He said.

“Um…you look good?”

We both chuckle. That's also true. What the hell now?

“Something else. Coming from here…”

He pointed at my chest. Specifically, he pointed at my heart. Oh shit.

“Oh shit, I thought you forgot.” I said and was starting to panic. I told him I loved him. I really, really, really hoped he forgot about it.

“Say it. And look me in the eyes.”

Armie’s now serious. And I don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed or silly that I’ve said it. Suddenly, I’m serious as well. I have to be if I want us to take this relationship to the next level. If we play our cards well, we fell in love first before having sex. I want to be good for him. There was no fear left inside me, now that he’s asking me to tell him what I feel. I’m not scared anymore, I feel very courageous and beyond confident.

“I love you Armie.”

“I love you too Tim.”

We smile at each other. I managed to stay calm and composed. But, there’s always gonna be this playful side of me, I’m still just a kid. I decide to play and tease a little.

“Ha, ha I fooled you!” I joked and booped his nose.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. Armie starts tickling me and I scream. Archie rushes in, I scream for him to save me but there’s no use. Armie’s finger makes me smile and laugh. Now he knows I’m ticklish. We’re gonna have a problem. He manages to get me off of him and he swats my ass when I got up.

“Go. Eat. You little piece of shit.” He said and swat my ass again. I like it.

He’s trying to stay serious and calm, but he can’t. He’s dealing with me after all. 

I stop him at the door.

“So, we’re good?” I ask him, I need to be sure.

“Have we ever been anything but?”

Guess not. He leans over and kisses me again. How could I have been so stupid? This is what we needed. This is what I want. Armie is the man I want and need. 

We went to the kitchen and we sat on bar stools. He kept me company while I ate and later on, we had coffee and smoked at the counter.

“Two days left Armie.” I said, my heart aches. He’s just moving back to his place, only 10 minutes away by car.

“Two and the half days.”

“Fine…”

Since we have two days left, I have to know, are we gonna do this while he’s here or are we gonna wait some more time. I don’t mind waiting, I want him to feel ready. A person can honestly never be ready for these things. It just happens. You can exercise pain and pressure all you want but when it happens, there is no time for thinking how to breathe or take it, you’re way too concerned with the fact that another man just breached your asshole. That’s not a good feeling, or an image to have in your head. I’ve felt like that the first time I slept with Miles. There was no guilt or shame, I wanted it, I really did, but two men…in bed…I wondered if this was even normal for my body to go through. It didn’t take me a while to answer my own doubts. And I answered them by not letting my attention go to those parts of my brain. It felt good, really good actually, and something that feels this good can’t be bad. The sex is way better than with an opposite sex partner. But it’s not just about sex. It was never about sex. The first time I slept with Miles, it was because I was curious and I wanted answers, and because I kept on having day dreams about other guys and that was so fucking confusing for me. It meant something, I was sure of it. But now, the second time around, I want to have sex with Armie because I love him. because he’s so handsome and well built, because he’s the smartest person I ever met, he adapts well, he lets me in, he likes books, movies, same music as me, he’s a smooth talker that made Jules lose her shit even before she shook the guy’s hand, because he eats like there’s no tomorrow, because he smokes and looks way too illegally hot while doing so, because he makes my knees buckle when he kisses me, because he can touch me and shake my entire core like nobody has ever done before, because his eyes are enough to make me ejaculate, and his voice included, his deep raspy morning voice as he’s muttering against the pillow, because his warm body makes me warm and steady, because he keeps me calm, collected, relaxed, not confused. Because he’s everything I was looking inside a person I could love, no matter the gender. Because through him I can love me. Because through him I can be me. Because through me I can love him, and be him and get to know him and me, the both of us.

Armie’s in my life now, not just as a place, but he’s a part of it now. What’ve done and what is yet to happen, those moments are gonna stay with me forever. For him as well. They’re carved into my heart, my soul and my being. He’s got me and I’m not going anywhere.

“Do you feel ready?” I ask him, straight up. There are no lines we can’t cross now. I can win the world with him by my side.

“I mean, if you’re still shaken up about last night…” He starts. I can see in his eyes there are still some doubts. Was it me, was it him, was it the fear?

“Funny thing is, the only thing I could think about was you. And when he was getting into my face, I was like “Get on with it man, I need to go home”, he was boring, and I could do as I wanted because he was wasted. So I lured him in and when I knew he was the weakest, I pushed him away. You should’ve seen me. A stick like me managed to push away someone of his size. Wow…”

Armie smirks.

“Good boy.” 

He whispers and lights up a cigarette.

“Do you feel ready?” It’s my turn to answer.

“I don’t know. I think I am. Will I ever be ready for real?” I breathe out.

“You wanna…give it a shot today?”

He’s so hot while smoking. I’d let him bang me over the counter this instant. 

I don’t answer yes or no.

“After we go grocery shopping.”

We laughed together. Keep on laughing, Armand, the fridge is fucking empty.

About 15 minutes later, my phone rang from my room. I can’t believe I didn’t turn it off when I got home. I went to my room to get it. There were bunch of numbers on my screen. My mind was rushing as to figure out who this is, I made my way back to the kitchen where Armie was still sitting and smoking.

“Who is it?” He asks me.

“I don’t know. It’s not a number I recognize.”

I answer it anyway.

“Hello?” I’m cautious.

“Tim?”

“Yes?”

“It’s Miles.”

My heart stopped. Pure shock ran through my body. I look over at Armie and mouthed “Miles” to him. His demeanor changed so suddenly.

“Where did you get my number from?” I asked him. I don’t know what he wants. I just want him to end the call.

“Emma gave it to me.”

I sat back onto the bar stool.

“I can imagine the excuse you told her why you needed it.” I’m mad.

“I made something up. About you taking my jacket by mistake.”

No surprise there. This shame will follow him for the rest of his life.

“Figured.”

Pause. He’s not surprised by my reaction.

I take the phone away from my ear, put it on the counter and put Miles on speakerphone. Somehow, Armie listening to him as well made me feel safe. Even though he couldn’t see Armie, I wasn’t going through this alone again.

“I just wanted to apologize, for last night. It was way out of line, it won’t happen again. I’m sorry if I scared you, it was never my intention. I take back everything I said.” 

An apology was what I’ve expected from him within 20%.

“Thank you.”

“And I’m sorry for being a jerk to you last year. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted and when I did…it was too late. You really are something special. Whoever ends up with you is a lucky person. I mean it.”

Armie and I looked at each other, the phone was between us. We smiled. This made me very happy. Nothing this jerk says will take Armie’s reaction away from me.

“Thanks. That’s sweet.”

“Anyway, I don’t want to take much time of your day, you’re probably busy with other stuff. I only called to apologize.”

“Thanks, means a lot.” I mean it.

“Yeah. So…bye.” He said.

“Bye.”

I hung up. It was like I threw up a large amount of stones from my lungs and my stomach. 

“He seems nice.” Armie comments.

“I guess.”

“He apologized.” He said and continued smoking.

“Yeah. But there was not really much to forgive. Yes, he scared me and all but I don’t feel shaken up about it anymore, to be honest.” I spoke, not looking at him.

“That’s good. There is no need for that.”

“Yeah. Maybe…maybe because we’re good now and that’s the most important thing right now.”

Armie’s silently inhaling his smoke.

“You were scared of my reaction more than him almost trying something?” He asks, he wants to sound like the person who doesn’t need saving, in this case, he doesn’t want to be, or wants to believe that he was, the person that brings fear to the table. Not the man himself, but his reactions.

“Well…yeah. I’d be ruined if I were to lose you.”

Armie sighed and grabbed my hands across the counter.

“Tim, you can’t put me on number one place, before you. Imagine if he tried something…”

“I know.” I don’t need those images inside of my head right now.

“If he tried, you’d be feeling bad and dirty and…”

I cut him off.

“I already feel dirty. Because you were waiting for me, and there I was…I got involved with someone that almost ruined me mentally.”

“I understand that, babe. But you can’t lose yourself over me. I wouldn’t be able to live with that.”

He’s right. I don’t know how to respond to that.

“But I love you. Maybe my…my self love is through you. If I love you, I see the way to myself, and now I love me too. Because I felt so strong and ready to kick his ass on my own…I knew you’d be proud of me.” I speak, and throughout my words I can sense that my face has gotten soft, and there was a smile on Armie’s face, with teeth.

“Now that’s gold.”

“I love us both, equally.” I joke.

He takes my hands to his lips and kisses them. He likes kissing the weirdest parts of my body; my feet, my hands, my forehead…

“But you love me a tinnie tiny bit more?” Now he’s the one joking.

“Okay, slow down, old man.”

“Love you too kid.”

Half an hour later we went grocery shopping. We bought a bunch of stuff; some we need, some we don’t and some we absolutely, beyond any reasonable doubt, 100% don’t need. We bought dinner, drinks, cigarettes, shampoo, which we desperately need, wet wipes, those too, vegetables, sweets, sour stuff etc.

We chilled around my place up until maybe 9 or 10 pm, cuddling on the couch, watching TV, and I was counting seconds until I will feel ready to ask him to move this to the bedroom. This will happen tonight, I know it will, I can feel it. He feels it as well, I just know it. come on universe, wake Armie up and send him to my bedroom and between my legs where he belongs.

I got up to go to the bathroom, just in case. Armie went 10 minutes before me. These were little things we kept on doing with the term “just in case”. We did them for each other but we never told that out loud. 

Once I got back, I seized my moment and sat in his lap. Armie wasn’t caught off guard or surprised why I did that. I sat on his crotch and moaned softly, looking him in the eyes. They were black now, not blue anymore. His hands are not around my waist anymore, he’s touching my butt, caressing it as much as he can cup with one hand two butt cheeks. Soon, very soon, he’s gonna touch them bare, no clothes on, no nothing. It’s gonna be all his. I can’t wait. My hands got lost in his hair and I bent down to kiss him. Out of all the kisses, this one is the most passionate one. He’s breathing me in, I’m breathing him in. We’re choking and our partner Is holding all of our oxygen. He’s warm. This was the ultimate make out session, this term finally came to life, thanks to us. Some foreplay maybe, but it’s still pretty early. I’m waiting any moment now for him to stand up with me in his arms. I’m dying to undress him and let him inside of me, I won’t hesitate, he’s gonna love it, I’ll make sure of it. I’ll make sure to be the best first time with a guy in the history. I’ll try my best to be the tightest person he’s ever shared his bed with. I want him to see the stars, I want him to feel the pressure and moan and scream my name out loud. Oh, this is gonna happen so soon.

Armie’s now kissing my neck, and maybe for the first time, I rolled my eyes at that. My lips were getting dry. I can’t take it anymore.

“Armie? Take me to bed.” I moan against his ear and press down his crotch again. 

“You sure?” He breathes into my neck.

“Absolutely.”

I take his face in my hands. He’s so heavy.

“Are you?” I ask him.

“Fuck yeah.”

Armie smiles widely and pecks my nose.

“Just, one moment babe…I’ll call you when you can come in.”

And Armie removed myself from him, ran off into my bedroom and closed the door. 

What is he up to now? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.   
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	21. He's everything I asked for in silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their night continues. Armie has a surprise for Tim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you wonderful people!! Hope you all have a great weekend ahead of you, get some rest and relax. Here's the next chapter and i should warn you to get yourselves ready because it's a loooooong one. Enjoy it, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know what you think about it in the comments!

Armie called for me to come back into my room about 5 minutes later. Now I was more excited to see what he’s been doing in there, more excited than having sex.

I walk inside and it’s dark, the light is dimmed. There was my red sweater over the lamp that was on, and that came with the nice and warm tone. The bed was made; made as in totally empty, no pillows or blankets. There was again, “Wandering romance” playing in the background on his phone; probably on repeat. And all over my desk, bookshelves, night tables by my bed, and on the floor, there were little candles lit on. He pushed the ones on the floor the farthest from the bed, good thinking. He stood next to the window. He changed his shirt and took his socks off, he also combed his hair. Okay, I get the socks part only, but why comb the hair when he’s gonna get it all soaked up anyway pretty soon. And the shirt is gonna end up on the floor anyway as well. 

It was very romantic and intense and it’s calling a guy to strip him down and have sex with him. This kind of atmosphere turned me on so much and I wanted to munch onto his lips and his body quickly, but also with a lot of love, passion and desire.

“What is all of this?” I asked him as I looked around with a smile on my face. Nobody has ever done this for me. Well, Miles would never. And other girls…shouldn’t I have been the one doing this for them? Oh shit, what if they broke up with me because of this. Because I wasn’t romantic enough? If I had only known…nah. Nothing would change, this is much, much better.

“I snooped around some more and hid the candles in your room while you were gone and…asleep.”

I laughed out loud. This man…he’s really something. I didn’t even notice there were candles missing, and where the fuck did he find them? Don't know, don't care. I don't even care if he took them from Victor's bedroom. 

“You’re an amazing bastard, you know that?” I speak, almost like whispering. 

I meet him halfway in my small room and put my hands on his biceps and I caress them with my thumbs; his are on my waist. He’s inhaling my hair and breathing back out. He smells good, but in just a few hours, he’s gonna smell even better.

“Hey, um…I don’t want to kill the mood or anything, but I really want you to know this.” 

I began and I knew this was coming, I wanted to tell him this a long time ago.

“When I slept with Miles, we didn’t use condoms. And that was a huge mistake because he’s been famous for sleeping around with so many different girls. And after we broke up, literally the very next day, I went and got myself tested. I was negative and declared as a perfectly healthy young man. Then I got myself tested 5 months later, and then after another 3. And after another 4 months. All negative, for every STD on the planet. The last time I got tested was 4 months ago. Negative.”

“Oh, baby, what’s gotten into you?” Armie gasped and removed a curl from my forehead.

“Paranoia.”

“Oh, not a good fit, babe.” He kisses my forehead gently, slowly, we had all the time in the world. I wish I've known him back them so i wouldn't be going through this alone. It was such a terrifying period, and i went through it alone. Yes i had my family with me but maybe having someone like Armie or Armie himself…I'd believe in everything he says to me. 

“I know, I know. But I won’t do it again.”

Armie’s now looking at me, adjusting my face with his finger.

“So I was thinking, today, we can use protection. And if you’re up to it, on Monday morning, we can go and do the test. Together. Just in case. And then we can stop using protection if, and when, we’re both negative.” This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, it’s the safest option, and in the end, if we play our cards right, we can have sex in the most desirable way. Bare. 

“I’d like that.” He said and smiled down at me. He looks so handsome in the dimmed red light and in the romantic atmosphere as he made for us.

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. We’re going in safe.”

“Exactly. You’re not…mad I suggested?”

Armie scoffs. 

“Of course not. I always wanted to do it myself. I’ve had unprotected sex with women before. But I guess I’m fine.”

“You can still have it and not know about it.” I bite my lips after this one.

“Really?”

I nodded.

“Okay, then. Monday morning, we get tested.” He says and smiles down at me again. He wants this because I want it too, and for his very own protection and health.

“The results are gonna be ready in 3 days. I know a lady that works in a private lab here. She knows me and why I go there at all. She’ll test us for free.”

“Good, good…”

“One more thing.” I said and left his side.

I have to watch out where I put my feet because of all the candles. As I moved beside my bed to get to my desk, I notice an entire unopened pack of cigarettes and an ashtray sitting on the night stand. That’s for later. It makes me smile. I grab my backpack, open it and look for the essentials.

My hands were shaking once I found what I was looking for; a new bottle of lube and a box of condoms. The two most important things we could ever need in the bed.

“Oh, there they are. I was wondering whether or not I should buy them, but I didn’t know which bottle I should look for and...” Armie stutters a little.

“It’s okay, I got them.”

I put the bottle on the bed. 

“I got the condoms in L. They had them in XL, but I was worried those might fall off from you.” I’m trying not to crack my ass up while I saying it. Can’t look him in the eyes properly. I was actually choosing between XL and XXL. But they didn’t have the other ones.

“What?”

“Well...the size, I got the condoms in large, they had them in extra-large, but I think these are gonna be just fine.” Armie takes them from my hand.

“Oh, Tim, no…I um…wow…” I look up at him. He’s nervous. What? I got the wrong box? He's changed his mind? This is all too much? 

“What? Talk to me.”

“I was actually hoping you would um…be the one to…first, do…me.”

Thousands of images ran through my head when he said that. He wanted me to…him? For real? Was that the reason why we’ve been putting this off for so long, until now? That made so much sense. This was an unexpected turn of events, not at all as I had hoped. I was actually thinking I would be the…receiver…

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. I’ve thought about it. A lot. And I want us to be equals. I want you to have my…virginity first and then we can do other things.”

He’s really nervous while talking about this, I can’t recognize his voice. Armie’s never asked me for anything.

Now I’m nervous. Maybe now more than him. Maybe now more than ever. It’s not a small thing. I understand that this moment was coming pretty soon, just didn’t think it would be the first one ever.

“Fuck, Armie…I…”

“Have ever…been on top?” He’s choosing his words rather carefully. I love that he's still getting to know the terms of everything. 

“Once before.” I reply. 

“I trust you now completely. I want you to take me. Take everything you need.”

This just bites my heart. I am aching. I can’t breathe.

He trusts me completely. It’s not a small thing, though.

“And dude, that L size might be too small even for you.” Armie jokes to light up a mood a bit. It helps, for a little while, and then I’m stressful all over again.

“Piss off.” I bite back and show him the middle finger.

Oh, boy, maybe this finger’s gonna end up inside of him very, very soon, if he listens to me, relaxes and breathes. That’s it. that’s all I’m gonna ask of him.

I didn’t say a single word next, I just reached to him and started kissing him. We're starting here. Suddenly, his lips are softer and taste sweeter. The whole world knows what we’re about to do and it’s letting us reveal our true selves. Armie’s arms are around my waist and mine are around his neck. I moan when I kiss him and feel his tongue, it’s making me tingle all over my body. Soon, very soon, I’m going to feel him, and be inside of him, and be the first person ever to have breached this man. I am both nervous and excited about that, I know he is too.

I move my lips down his chin, jaw and settle onto his neck. He smells so good, and his skin is shivering and responding to my lips. Armie’s hands roam my back slowly, just like it should be, we’re in no rush. I stop and part away from him. Our eyes lock and I began taking his shirt off. He makes no fuss, just stood there lazily as I removed his shirt and threw it onto the ground.

“Watch out for the candles!” Is his reaction.

It makes me smile. Sure, we can burn his shirt and we can burn the room at the same time. The shirt landed nowhere near as where he put the candles on the floor. 

He’s mirroring my move, and he took my shirt off for me, gathered it into a ball and threw it all the way to the door, hitting the door handle. I watch this scenario and when I turned back to look at him, he’s proud of his work and is smirking at me, saying “See how the job is done?”.

All I can do is smile, and he does the same. Those smiles are gone pretty fast when I attach my lips to his chest again, kissing his pectoral muscles, caressing his nipples, from which he shivers, he’s either sensitive or doesn’t like it, just like his collarbones. I look up at him, he looks like he’s already falling apart. We haven’t even started yet. I know he’s not gonna last long, that’s not the point. I don’t know if he’s expecting for us to do an all-nighter with all poses known to mankind…we can’t do that. He won’t last. The point is to open him up, and that will take most of our time, it may last for more than an hour or so. After opening up, it’s time to introduce his inner being to something so foreign. Something is coming inside of his hole for the first time in his 26 years of life, and it won’t be done in 5 minutes and he won’t last for hours and hours. Neither will I. The slower the process the longer it will take, the better the orgasm. I will do my absolute best to give him the perfect first time I never got. 

I was in such pain when I let Miles in the first time. He didn’t know what he was doing, he thought it was like entering a girl, just so easily, that the ass hole is as big as the vagina. Think again, buddy. The next day I could barely sit and he took pleasure in that. So did I. But I’d rather ache from a good laid than from a painful and unexperienced night. 

I want and need to get this started. I gently push his shoulders and he took that as a sign to lie on the bed. He does it instantly; Armie’s now supporting himself on his elbows and has moved all the way at the bed top. Good, just where I need him. His muscles burst out, it’s making me painfully hard coming face to face with the terms that he’ll be naked soon and in the morning, when he wakes up, he won’t be the same person. Something like this changes a man, in so many ways, I lost count. Just like the first time with any girl or a guy, it changes the receiver, not so much the giver. Until it goes the other way around.

My instincts are telling me not to stall. And I don’t. I jump on the bed, straddle his thighs and that’s when he lies down flat. Good. It’s like he can read my mind and does exactly what I wished him to do. He’s so good. I want him to know this. I also need him to know not to expect much from this first night. The next time we do it, and I hope I do it well, it’s gonna be much better and easier.

His body is now mine, he left it to me. And I accept that gift. I kiss his neck, both sides, I kiss his collarbones, he squirms, I don’t care, I kiss his chest again, lick his nipples, his chest hair is tickling my nose, the last thing I need is to sneeze right in the middle of this. We’d both laugh it off but it won’t change a single thing. I move down and kiss his stomach, his deep breaths are like waves underneath the skin. His skin has somehow gotten softer and more suitable for my lips. My eyes are closed as I’m covering every millimeter of his skin with my wet kisses. He’s shivering upstairs.

“Are you cold?” I mutter against his skin, eyes still closed.

“No…just…excited. The adrenaline, I guess.”

I nod. He’s right. It is the adrenaline.

My hair keeps getting in my way, but I don’t think for a second about stopping and tying it up. This is Armie’s night. Until he asks me to tie it up, I won’t move a muscle.

Now that I’m settled down his crotch and my legs are hanging from the bed, I go back and kneel so I can take his sweatpants off. I pull them down, along with his boxers and once again, I have Armie naked in my bed. There’s nothing I want more right now. He’s so well built and looks strong and manly, a true man in my bed, a real man; muscles, chest hair, strong arms, long legs, beautiful smile, blue eyes, deep manly voice that can make anyone lose their goddamn mind, and the best part is…he’s all mine. Wait in line world, I’m not done yet. I remember thinking, back then, how there was a guy that walked the Earth holding Armie’s virginity because, back then, I didn’t know that the only thing he ever did with a guy was kiss one when he was 17. I envied the bastard, not knowing what I found out next. And when I did, I was indeed shocked and beyond surprised, but I wasn’t wrong about certain things. And now that I think about it, I’m that lucky bastard. Me. Nobody else. I’m gonna have the opportunity to hold his virginity for as long as we’re both alive. 

He’s hard, half hard, he’s getting there. Once I removed everything from him, I gathered it into a ball, like he did, and threw it away against the door, like he did. After that, I do the same thing with my clothes; everything comes off and is thrown in a ball against the door. I’m just as hard as he is. I didn’t look at him but I remember hearing him smile. I was too busy adjusting his cock before I put it in my mouth.

Armie’s relaxed and moaning, caressing my hair as I go from licking and sucking his head, and going down, lower and lower. He tastes heavenly. I don’t want this to take our time. This is just to get us both a little warmed up. Again, he tastes amazing. It’s making me tingle down there, just the taste, the smell, the size, the skin…everything was so perfect to me because it was Armie. And he’s perfect himself. I take my time, not rushing, holding his fury base and moving my head in circles and twists, up and down. he’s still very much relaxed, panting a bit, gasping, calling my name over and over again.

After a while I pop him out and before I could even wipe my lips from my saliva, Armie’s gotten up and is pulling me towards him.

“Come here, babe. I want to taste you too…” Armie breathes out.

I don’t hesitate for a second and move up there and straddle his chest. I grasp at the wall in front of me as he takes me into his mouth. Now I’m relaxing myself, moaning as well, thinking how this must be the greatest feeling in the world; having your partner take your cock so deep into his own mouth to sexually satisfy you. Armie’s palms are touching my butt cheeks and thighs. I take a deep breath at the feeling of something wet and warm around my sensitive area. My lips are getting dry so I lick them just to keep them alive. I look down at him; Armie’s eyes are closed, he’s swallowing me nice and slowly, letting out moans from time to time. I push my hand behind me and cup his cock. He breathes out once he’s popped me out and goes back down again. I’m stroking him slowly, as much as I can reach from that position. 

Armie pops me out few minutes later and I hold his chin and touch his lips with my thumb, while I’m still stroking his cock behind me. He’s a mess. His hair was already messed up, eyes are dark, cheeks are red and warm, nose is shining, lips and chin are covered in his saliva. He smiles at me, with teeth, it makes me twitch in his own hand. Now that makes him smirk.

“I’m ready Tim.” He breathes out.

“You sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure…”

I can take that. Just his image like this was enough for me to submit to whatever he’s got in his beautiful big head. I bent down and kiss him. We’re mixing tastes, I can taste him and myself, and he can taste the both of us. He’s loving this. So am I.

Well…if he’s ready…I let go of his cock and reposition myself between his legs. Armie lied back down again. I’m sure he’s watching my every move as I’m opening the bottle of lube and throwing away the foil. I also opened the box of condoms and took one out. The rest I leaned over and put it on the night stand. Save that for later. 

“Legs up…” My voice breaks when I said it. This is it.

Armie chuckles and raises his legs in the air. I really hope he’s not expecting to keep them that way the entire night. I gently grab his calves and put them on my shoulders. He’s so fucking heavy, what the hell was I thinking?

“It’s okay, you can hold them here…” I say it, I don’t recognize my own voice.

Armie chuckles again.

“Okay, what’s so funny?” I’m breaking out of my element.

“Nothing, nothing…” He replies, still holding in a chuckle.

“Do you wanna top instead?” I ask him, trying to stay serious but his red face is making it so hard for me.

“No, no, no…I wasn’t laughing at you. I just thought of something funny.”

“Well knock it off.” I laugh it out. Stay serous, come on, man.

“Yes, sir.”

The second he said this I remembered my first ever fantasy involving him. I called him sir myself inside my head when he asked me to…no, no, not right now, I don’t wanna come over this.

Armie needs to know what is coming for him. I want to walk him through. I caress his feet next to my head, just to sooth the both of us down a bit.

“Here’s the deal…I’m gonna sound like a professor now but I don’t care. The goal tonight is to open you up. That may take a while but…if you listen to me and do as I say, I can promise you, it will be painless and pleasure will start kicking in soon. You just need to relax and breathe. Breathe the entire time. Don’t think about the pain, it will pass.” My cheeks are on fire, but I’m cold, I’m shivering. I don’t know if I left anything out, I’m so fucking nervous.

“Are you gonna open me up with…your fingers?” He asks. 

“I don’t have anything else here, Armie.”

“I know, I know…”

Armie replied quietly probably feeling a bit embarrassed that he sad to ask me that sort of question. It's fine. I had more ridiculous questions in my head when it was my first time. 

“Have you ever tried it?” I ask him now, caressing his calves.

“I did. I tried it, on my own, but I couldn’t…I was too scared. I never went in just…I couldn't. ”

“It’s okay. I promise you, I’ll be gentle, it will not hurt. And even if it does, it will pass.”

These are the words that were missing from my first time. I absolutely wished I had someone like myself to guide me during the entire night. But, to be fair, if it wasn’t for my shitty first time, I would never know how to help Armie and guide him through his.

“I know. I know you’d never hurt me on purpose.” He speaks finally, his words are shivering now as well.

“Never. I love you.” I said. Flat out.

“I love you too…”

We exchange smiles. This is what I needed when I was getting breached for the first time. Love. Just that. Simple as that. 

“Whenever you’re ready, just let me know.” I tell him.

Armie takes a deep breath in and then out. 

“Breathe with me, will you?” He asks me.

“Of course.”

Now we’re breathing, eyes closed. Deep breaths. He’s trying to control himself and maybe imagine in his head what is about to happen. He has no fucking idea.

“Okay.” Armie speaks after couple of minutes.

I don’t ask him if he’s sure, I know he is. This is something we’ve been waiting for, for a very long time. From this position, I can reach his hole just fine. He’s stroking himself slowly, from the base to the head, slowly and with ease. He made himself comfortable for sure, I hope he’s enjoying it. His legs are losing their weight on my shoulders as the minutes went by.

My hands are dry but palms are sweaty. How is this even possible? I reach his entrance, and brush my thumb over it. It tickles him, he gasps and giggles at the same time. I do it again. And again. And once more. Each time, it’s the same reaction. The main thing is that he’s still stroking himself, he must be turned on at all times. It will come down eventually because it's normal and he's gonna focus on pressure and pain, rather than pleasure. 

I put that same finger in my mouth to get it wet, then brush it against his hole…now he’s grunting. I’m loving this so much. Armie smashes his head back against the mattress. I do it again, and once more. He’s groaning now but he’s still very much touching himself. I smirk at that, I take my pride in all of this.

I can’t touch myself just yet. This is Armie’s special night.

He’s over-sensitive, trying to keep his orgasm at bay, but I decide with myself to not torture him anymore. I turned around to grab the bottle of lube, opened it and I smeared my index finger, my middle finger and thumb with it. It’s so oily, but it will help the both of us. 

One more thing though; Armie is beyond hot while he’s lying on an empty bed and touching himself. The sight makes me drool.

Once Armie sees me getting the fingers ready, he pushed his butt a bit more in the air just to make the room for me. I was thinking I should stop this now and turn him around on all fours. But I want to look into his eyes and follow his face when my finger enters him. I am the luckiest guy in the world, I get to breach Armie Hammer.

“Ready?” I ask him, not recognizing own my voice anymore.

“God, Tim…just...fuck…” Armie swallows and breathes out. His eyes fly open to look what was yet going to happen, still stroking himself.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

I gently press my index finger against his hole and massage it. He squirms at the first touch and then he’s relaxed a bit as I kept on massaging it with such care. I have no fucking idea what I’m doing, but I never got to experience this step by step, that’s why I promised to the both of us that I’m gonna do my best to give him the great first time I never got.

No more time. I gently push inside with the top part of my finger. He’s not relaxed enough, I can’t get through.

“Armie…relax, relax…” I repeat the words over and over again, my voice is soft and so strange even to my own ears.

“I’m trying…” He grunted out. 

I wish I could ask him if he wanted to stop but I was the one who didn’t want to stop. I want him to experience this step by step, to see what the real deal is. It was on me to open him up. He has no idea how much better he’s gonna feel if he relaxes and breathes, nothing more. He’s so tight, I feel like there is nothing I can do to open him up, it’s hot and wet, that’s good.

“Breathe, slowly, and only think about your breathing. I can’t get through, babe, you’re too stiff…” I pet him and caress his thighs. I’m looking at him and stare at his chest move, he’s a sight to behold. He really is a beautiful human being, inside and outside. That is why I want to open him up now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not next month. Now. Because I love the place where we’re at now. We love each other, very much. I want this for him. For us. It might sound silly, but I know what he needs.

I know what to do. If he doesn’t want to open up for me, then I’ll open him up myself. Armie’s eyes are still closed as I grab his cock from his hand and start stroking him in a way I know Armie loves. He’s breathing, or he’s trying to. I keep on massaging his hole and stroking his hard cock in slow rhythms, we’re in no rush. He’s still not opening up the way I need him to. So I just bent down again and swallowed him.

“Oh, Tim! Fuck! You’re gonna kill…oh! You’re gonna kill me!” He moans out and arches his back.

Yes!

Armie opened up and I managed to push a finger inside, not the whole way. The first knuckle of my index finger is finally inside Armie’s body. Now I can relax myself, he didn’t seem to notice it because he was still recovering from me putting his sensitive cock in my mouth.

“I’m in Armie!” I raise my voice out of sheer excitement once I popped him out. 

“Oh…” Armie grunts.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little bit.” He squeezes his eyes shut and takes these words out of himself by torture.

“It will pass, I promise you.”

“I believe you.”

He breaths out. I breathe with him, my finger’s still inside of him. Now, I’m stroking him.

“Tell me when you want me to go deeper.”

“Okay…gimme a minute.” He breaths out again.

“Anything.”

That minute turned into 15 minutes of constant breathing and mind game. Luckily, I had a digital watch on one of the shelves; I was tracking time of this entire scenario. My finger aches so badly but I’m not pulling out or pushing deeper until he gives me a green light.

And then it hit me.

If there’s anything, anytime I want to get out of Armie Hammer it’s when his attention is at zero. I can try this now, but let’s see if it’ll work. I’d gladly spend half a day with my finger inside of him but there are conditions our bodies can’t fulfill unless the time is moving. We need to get a move on, and fast, before my hand gets stuck like this.

Let’s see if I can make this work by distracting him.

“Can I ask you something?” He asks me first. Guess he noticed my silence and realized I was deep into my head.

“Anything.”

“Once…this passes by…” Armie opens his eyes and swallows.

Now is my chance. I listen to him and push a finger inside just a little bit, my other hand is still around his cock.

“Aha…”

“Are you gonna open me every single time?”

A little bit more.

“Not like this, no.”

“No?”

“No. This is just the first time. Your body needs to accept the fact that there’s a foreign, um…object…inside of you. Once tonight passes by, every other time we have sex, your body would recognize anything pushing in and it will adapt pretty soon.”

Another inch or so.

“Good to know.”

“Here, touch yourself. Never stop touching yourself.”

He takes his cock back from my hand. I push in just a little bit deeper. Armie makes a face. He knows what I’m doing.

“What about you?”

“What?”

“Did you take a lot of time opening up?” He breaths out.

Another knuckle inside.

“I didn’t. And my butt ached for days afterwards.”

“Really?” Pure fear spreads across his face.

“Mhm. He just stuck two fingers inside at the same time, after 5 minutes of fingering me, he entered me. I was screaming in pain, crying, kicking…I trusted him to know what he was doing, but in the end…it was done pretty quickly.”

I push inside a little bit more. The image of my first time is not something I wanted to remember while opening Armie up.

“That sucks. I wish I could erase your sex history, and be your first.” He said.

I smiled.

“I wish that too.” I said.

He smiles at me and breathes deeply.

“Hey, Armie you know what?” I smirked as I looked at my masterpiece.

“What?”

“I’m in. All the way.”

“I can feel it. You were distracting me with talking.” He smiled widely. I’m proud.

“I had to somehow.”

Now I sat there with one finger up Armie’s asshole, he’s stroking himself in a rhythm that suits him the best.

Another 10 minutes had gone by in a complete silence. The only thing that could be heard were the song and Armie’s deep breahing.

“Move.” He grunts.

“You sure?”

He nods and lifts his legs back up on my shoulders.

I pay attention to his face and only his face when I began pulling out my index finger, while kissing and caressing his calf and foot. He frowns, eyes closed, he’s not breathing, he’s not touching himself.

“Breathe Armie, and keep touching yourself.”

When he breathes out it looked like he exhaled about 70% of his body weight. His legs were so heavy now on my shoulders, it was unbelievable. I know I told him to relax but my God…my shoulders were a mess.

I managed to pull it out and was hanging by the last knuckle. Another minute had gone by and I push the finger back inside. He’s still frowning, but he’s breathing and touching himself. That’s good. He’s listening to me, I’m proud and happy. Minutes had passed and in those moments, I pulled out and pushed the finger back inside maybe 5 or 6 times, and after that, Armie’s facial expressions changed. He’s frowning, but a lot less, and he’s breathing normally, like this is nothing to him. My entire hand cramps because when I looked at the watch and realized that it had passed 58 minutes since I pushed the first knuckle inside…I was in shock, where did that time go by? But it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I’m moving one finger inside and outside of Armie’s hole, he’s touching himself, he’s breathing normally and he has finally opened his eyes to greet me with a beautiful smile. With my finger still moving in and out, I bent down and kissed him; pulled his lower lip and pecked his nose.

We’re doing it. We’re on a very good path. Soon, very soon, I will become one with Armie. Inside of Universe’s mind, two bodies will become one, there’s nothing more beautiful than that, I refuse to believe it.

“How are you feeling?” I ask him and kiss his calf.

“Good. Better.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

I smile at his response. What a twist of the night, huh? We were both preparing to be the one on the bottom, and somehow…I won. 

He’s opening up but it’s not enough. I hate to break it to him that this might not be the only digit that goes inside of his hole. 

“Armie?”

“Mhm?”

“I need to push one more finger inside. You’re opened now, but not stretched yet.”

I read fear on his face, and dread. The first one was traumatizing enough, but it’s not that bad. I had it worse. He’s getting it the best way possible; slow, steady, no rushing.

“Oh, um…okay…you know what to do.” He stutters but I also read that he wants this so badly.

Exactly, I knew it. And for the first time I felt like I was doing his job. And I loved it. Ever since we first met, I felt like the roles had split; he’s the man and I’m a…beautiful boy? Fuck it. Maybe because he’s older and had more experience, well, at least that’s what I had thought, but I was wrong apparently. It was his role in being a man, in being my protector, my savior, the only person I wanted to call after the incident from the previous night, the only person I would let inside my life this deep. And now the roles have reversed. I am taking his spot while he just lies there with his feet up in the air. 

I pulled that one finger out and he exhaled rather too gladly while putting his legs down. We smile at each other, he’s all sweaty, I am too probably. There was a part of me that kept thinking he hates me for hurting him like this and every smile made it better. I know I was being dramatic and all…I can’t wait to smell him. My hand is oily as I struggled to open the bottle of lube again and poured a large amount of it on my fingers. My hands are shaking, there’s nothing I can do about it now. There’s something coming in waves in my stomach, it’s vibrating, it’s either the nervousness or the warmth that gathered up because I still haven’t touched myself. I’m scared too. I don’t want it to end before the big finale. 

I change my position; I’m not kneeling anymore, I sat down and crossed my legs, much better.

When I reached for his legs to put them back on my shoulders, Armie moved away from me and reached for the pillow that was sitting on my chair. He took it and placed it underneath him, his lower back sat perfectly on it. I now had the full access to his hole, without carrying his heavy legs on my shoulders. It was either tiring for him as well or he didn’t want to torture me anymore. He bent his knees and nodded at me as to keep going.

Once again, I massaged his hole and pushed inside easily as I did the last time. Armie never made a single face, he remained cold and relax with his eyes closed, it was like nothing to him. I was confused as fuck, so I pushed my fingers inside of him all the way. At the end, his eyebrows twitched and he bit his lower lip. Nothing more. An hour ago he was a fucking mess; frowning, biting his lips to keep the pain to himself, flushed, head moving all over the place, he was choking and shivering. And now…nothing. I guess we got that one covered, I did tell him to only relax and breathe and the rest is up to me. I pulled them out, only half way and Armie inhaled deeply and then exhaled when the fingers were at the very beginning. I pushed them back in and now I’m greeted with an opened mouth and a moan coming out of it. 

Yes! He’s moaning! It is supposed to make you feel good, and now we’re here, finally, after an hour and 12 minutes! Armie’s moaning and opening up, I’ve breached him with two of my fingers; twisting them, round and around, feeling the warmth of his insides, and he looks happy, and he’s moaning! He’s moaning! I was beyond happy, I wanted to die happy with this image of him in my head.

“You did it Armie!”

I raised my voice out of sheer happiness, and pulled one of his legs and kissed it. I was so proud of him. Armie opened his eyes and smiled widely with teeth at me. He’s still touching himself, like I told him to. I am beyond relived we’re finally here, he’s gonna be more comfortable in the future. I want to kiss him and devour his lips just to show him how much I am proud of him for finally doing it. Armie's still touching himself and smiling at me, while I kept on moving my two fingers inside and outside of his body. He’s moaning deeply, sometimes softly, sometimes he’d grunt, but all in all, he’s not making those faces anymore, and my heart just dropped a tone.

An hour ago it was a hot wall, now, everything is gone, my path has cleared, I can move and go wherever I want to. One hand is busy, with the other one, I’m still caressing his thigh.

“You tell me when you wanna…” I say it to him.

“Mhm…just a little bit more. I love this so much.”

This comment makes me so happy. He’s living the part of sex that I never got to experience, it makes me both happy and sad. Happy because of the obvious reasons, and sad because…If I were to choose with whom I would have loved sharing my body, it would definitely be Armie. I regret ever sleeping with anyone else, and at the same time, I don’t, because it got me where I am right now. I’ve changed, my mind has changed, my body as well, and the most important thing that has changed inside me, is my heart. Screw everything and everyone! This is the life.

I can’t possibly dare and touch myself, that’s out of the question, even though it’s painful and it’s making me dizzy. We’re gonna deform the bed by never moving out of it. My knees and hand are burning. 

“Okay…” Armie breathes out, he sounds more relaxed. 

“Yeah?”

He nods.

“Okay. I’m pulling the fingers out.”

I do as I told him and the warmth leaves my hand. It feels weird. My hands were made to be involved in his body. 

“Oh, fuck…I miss them already…” He hisses at the emptiness.

Armie stopped touching himself and sat up against the wall. He pulls me towards him by my shoulders. I came face to face with him and we kiss. I move his sweaty hair and he, without me noticing, touched my cock.

“Oh! Fuck!” I breathe into his lips, I’m shivering.

“You haven’t touched yourself, babe…” He whispers and starts stroking me. It feels so good, I’m numb down there.

“You’re my priority now.” I said and kiss him again. Air flies out of my lungs. 

“I can’t let you do that. We're in this together.”

I nod at that, squeeze my eyes shut and open them to respond to his words.

“You’re right.” I reply. 

We smile at each other.

“Pick a pose, big guy.” I can't believe i said this. 

“I’m fine with this one.”

“You don’t wanna try the doggy style?” 

I ask him, knowing very well that it's the one that he'll probably be the most comfortable in, but it's okay for the first time. 

“No, not yet at least. I want to look into this beautiful face when you finally enter me.”

This exact thought popped into my head before I even began fingering him. 

“If you only knew…that your words almost brought me to orgasm just now.” 

I can't help but moan at the end. 

“Just a little warning. You’re not gonna last long, I can promise you that. So don’t expect like…three, fours positions changing, because there’s still a lot of work to be done with opening you up.” I said it. This is the reality we're facing. 

“Okay…then we’ll do it this way. If it’s okay with you.”

“Of course, anything you want.”

My gut just softened, I felt like crying. He looked at me and had a spark in his eyes, so beautiful. Armie pulled me in for yet another kiss, as he was reaching for the box of condoms that had earlier fell on the floor as I was still working him up with my fingers. I wanted to tell him that i already had one ready behind me but he seemed pretty excited about it. He opened the box, got one condom out and he successfully opened it with his fingers, he was shaking. Armie never second guessed his decision and he rolled the condom onto my cock. I tugged his hair when I felt him touching me. The condom fit nicely, maybe a bit too tight but i can't remember the last time i was this hard so it's justified. 

“Would you look at that. L is just a tiny bit smaller for you. Guess we’re in the same size box, dude.”

I don’t have the strength to bite back. It makes me laugh on the inside. 

“Lie down.”

He does, his butt lied perfectly on the pillow. Armie waited until I was ready to figure out what he’ll do with his legs. I opened the bottle again and poured some on my fingers and the rest I just poured all over my condom-wrapped cock. I gasped. God my hair was so fucking dirty, sweaty and sticking to my forehead, it was itching me. I stroke my cock to smear the lube and I’m ready. Just like he is too. The sheets are ruined, who the fuck cares.

Armie wraps my hips with his legs and I stare at him as I pushed one finger in, just to warm up a bit. His mouth is opened, and dry, he’s touching himself and is looking at me. He gasps when my finger went all the way inside, and after a minute of fingering him with one digit, I pushed the second one in. That's when he closed his eyes and moaned. His chest was moving in waves, I could see his chest hair and sweat gathering on his skin. He looked like a wonder. I finger him for some time now, never breaking eye contact, even when he’d close his eyes.

When I decide we both had it enough I reposition and kneel just so I could get a better access. His hole is somewhat red and oily from the lube, I massage it one last time, inhale, exhale and press the head of my cock against his hole. Armie’s not making any faces, this is just beyond weird.

“You feel me?”

He nods and swallows.

“Tim? Hey…can we try something else?” Armie grabs my wrists, the same one i used to guide myself into him. It comes as a shock. 

“Um…sure…what exactly?”

I hate this delay, I'm gonna explode. 

“How about you just go, straight ahead, don’t stop, and once you’re inside me, then we can play the mind game of relaxing and breathing…”

Sounds good. But not for the first timer. 

“What if you’re in pain?”

“I’ll tell you to stop.” His voice breaks. 

“Okay, okay…”

I breathe once more and I’m getting in. Armie makes a torturing face at the very beginning, I was just getting the head of my cock inside. There is a noise coming from the mixture of lube and latex. I can’t stop now, the head is inside, he’s not breathing or touching himself.

My head is spinning. 

“Breathe, Armie, breathe…and touch yourself.” I breathe out. 

He’s not doing either of those things.

I continue pushing in, bit by bit, going extremely slow. He’s so tight, I might just scream the place down. Armie's insides are warm and wet, hotness overpowers me and I take no mercy when I sped up the entering party. I can feel my entire body sweating, knees cramping, shoulders aching, hair getting dirtier and dirtier by the second. 

“Stop!” Armie cries out. His tears are sliding down his sweaty face.

He scared the shit out of me. I'm trying to balance staring at his eyes and what I'm doing, and his scream got to me hard.

“You want me to pull out?” 

“No…just…gimme a second, please…” He breaths out.

I hate that he feels the need to say please. 

I’m halfway inside of him. It's getting tighter and hotter with each passing second.

“Breathe, Armie. You might not believe it but you absolutely must breathe, here, we’ll do it together.”

I breathe with him but he's not cooperating. I don't think he can even hear me. 

“Okay?” I ask again. 

He nods.

He’s not touching himself. I do it for him; I stroke his cock and try to not lose my fucking mind while still being halfway inside of him. My eyes are watering as well.

It's getting better. My mind is all over the place, i don't even remember what i told him do to. It's so hectic, tight, warm and…wonderful. 

“Okay…” Armie gasps eventually. 

“Are you absolutely positive?”

He nods again.

“Please, just breathe and touch yourself, nothing more.”

He does those two instantly. First off, he needs to breathe so he doesn’t go stiff again and cause a spasm to glue us like this. Second, he absolutely must continue touching himself to keep the sexual hunger in the air. That’s it, that’s all he has to do. If I play my cards right, he’ll be moaning in no time. I pour more lube between us, as much as that was useless, just to keep everything set in place and ready.

He gives me a quick nod while licking his lips. This is my green light; I began pushing further, only less than a halfway to go. Come on Armie, you can do it!

And then a thought popped into my head. If he can’t, he can’t. It's no big deal. I don’t want to torture the poor guy if he can’t handle it, or because I really want to connect with him.

“Armie, do you wanna stop? We can stop this now and just do other things, like we did until now…” I hate that I suggested for us to stop but at the same time, it could be the right decision for him.

“No, ugh…we’ve done other things, I'm pass that, this is the big finale. We’re halfway through, I wanna make it to the end… ”

I don’t say a single word, just kept on pushing inside of him. Armie finally listened to me; he sped up his stroking, he’s breathing deeply, eyes still wet and still closed. I’m almost there. 

I look up at the clock. An hour and 59 minutes had passed since we began. Two hours of this, it doesn’t feel like it. 

That's the beauty of playing this mental game; it’s all inside his head, it’s all about controlling your inner thoughts and feelings. Armie was getting hard and then limp, I understood how this can be a total turn off, and at the same time, a complete turn on.

He's frowning again, biting his lips but he’s breathing normally.

I should stop and think about him and what he's going through; I went through exactly this a year ago. He needs mental and emotional support. It's not easy getting your hole filled. Especially by another man. 

I know what to do.

I bent down and kiss him, all along pushing inside of him with full length. He grunts and bites my lips, but I don’t care. I’m finally inside of him, with full size and now we’re close. We’re united, we’re one. I couldn’t believe it. He stopped touching himself. Armie grabs my face and looks into my eyes; he really did look exhausted and drawn out, I smile back at him and he does the same, it’s a smile filled with such force.

“I’m in…all the way…” I breathe out. 

“I can feel it. There's no end to you.”

He makes me laugh, he laughs as well, still trembling. 

“You feel so fucking good, you have no idea.” I moaned out. 

“Tight enough?”

He has no fucking idea.

“I’m counting stars.” I laugh again. 

I now stare into his black eyes, they're wet and beautiful, but he looks happy and pleased. Good enough for me. 

“Are you in pain?” I ask him and caress out noses together. 

“It will pass. I feel like you’re tearing me apart.”

I blush. 

“It will pass.” I soothe him. 

I want to hold him and not do this. He looks so opened and raw, vulnerable, his skin is burning up.

“You tell me when you want to move…” I think everybody would get tired of this sentence. 

“Mhm…”

He licks his lips. My goodness, he’s everything. Thank you. Thank you for making this jerk cut in front of me at the bakery. Thank you, Universe!

“You’re so beautiful…” I shivered as I told him this.

Armie squeezed his eyes shut and moved his head away from me. Is he actually blushing, for real?

“You are…”

“Shut up.” He grunts.

“You are.”

He looks at me and we exchange smiles and a deep tongue kiss.

“So…how are you feeling?”

“Like I’m burning. Better than a moment ago.” He laughs. 

What I adore about Armie is that he will never spare me the feelings. He’s gonna tell it like it is. If he’s okay, he’ll say it, if he’s in pain, he’ll say it, if I’m being to harsh on him, he’ll say it. And he won’t make a deal out of it, or have mercy on the person who’s making him feeling like this. 

“You?” Armie’s voice is now so soft after all of this. I’m so in love.

“Amazing.”

And then he stopped. He’s not breathing, his eyes are closed, he’s not touching himself. Oh, I know what this is.

“Tim…please move…I don’t know how much long I’ll last.” Yup, I knew it.

“You got it…” I wink at him and as I was on my way of changing my position, he stopped me.

“Hey, hey, hey…continue kissing me.”

And I did just that. Armie hugged my waist with his long and lean legs. I began pulling out while kissing him with tongue and teeth, sucking onto his lips and chin. There was a noise coming from Armie’s mouth; he was gasping or deep breathing, I was moaning. He was so tight, warm, wet and it almost made my eyes roll back. 

He was everything I ever asked for in silence.

He’s doing much better the second time around. But I had to agree with him, I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to last as well. Just the warm tightness around me made me shiver every time I’d pull out for a little bit, and then push back inside. Armie stopped kissing me and was still breathing so deep that there was a visible fog between us. His eyes ran straight to watch where we were connected and parting from time to time. That’s when I had full access. Armie, from that point on, never made a single face, was looking into my eyes or was kissing me, he was breathing fast because I could sense he was close and was turned on by what he saw, he was stroking himself pretty fast. I could feel sweat dripping down my arms as I was still supporting myself on them, I was for sure convinced I had bits of sweat dripping from my head falling onto his face, he was sweaty as well. We didn’t look like the two people who started this hours ago. And we weren’t for real. Armie was getting penetrated for the first time in his life, and I was the one who did the penetration with someone I truly loved. 

We lied as practically virgins and soon, we’ll wake up as complete opposites. I now have the full access and I’m pushing inside and pulling out with such ease. It’s not quite the speed I wanted nor is he there yet, but this is more than enough for the first time, for the both of us. 

Armie’s moaning, not keeping it at bay, I follow his moans, he’s so wonderful when he stares at the spot where our bodies became one, and he’s hissing, gasping, grunting and moaning at the sight of it. His entire body trembles. Armie smashed his head back and reveals his neck. This is now my que. I dig into the skin with my teeth and tongue.

“Tim! Fuuuuck!”

Yup, he’s done. I smirk to myself when I hear him repeat my name and everything else with each passing second of my teeth on his neck. I know this is his weak spot. His chest hairs are getting soaked in sweat and they are tickling me. I’m gonna have red marks in the morning but who the fuck cares. I’m fucking Aarmie Hammer and he likes it! He likes it so much, he loves the sight of it, he loves the feeling of it, he loves when I eat his neck out, when I kiss him with tongue, when I moan into his face, when I smile at him, when I finger him…he loves it all. He fucking loves it! I keep thinking how he can repay me for this magnificent feeling…I’ll let him fuck me in the morning, any way he wants, for as long as he wants. Here, take me, I’m yours, nobody else’s. 

All of these things were going through my head as I was moving inside his tight and hot insides. What an amazing feeling…being this close to someone you love, adore, worship…

“Tim…Tim…I’m close…ah…”

I now try and supports myself with one arm while I jerk his cock off with the other one. The bed is moving, it’s making a strange noise, never was I ever aware it can make this much sound, it was banging against the wall behind it. Armie's crying now and making a brave face of staring into my eyes as I was still moving inside of him with my very own rhythm and jerking his cock off. 

Armie pulled me in closer to him with his legs and held onto my shoulders with his hands. Our foreheads were sliding against one another as he was getting stiffer in my hand. He’s close. I can feel the path where his semen was going.

“Tim! I’m gonna…ahhhh!”

He never finished that sentence, only himself. 

A second later, there was white splashing from his cock that was in my hand. Armie was squirming around, throwing his head left and right, he got red in the face, veins were popping, he was grunting, moaning out loud, panting and a minute later…silence. A calm after the storm. 

I didn’t dare move until he was done. But I couldn’t control myself with him looking like that once he reached his orgasm. I make a few pushes and pull outs, while still milking his cock, he moaned and whimpered because of the over-sensation. I was trapped, the feeling was extraordinary, I rolled my eyes at the back of my head. I slam inside of him one last time, completely ignore his grunt, and I come so hard inside the condom. I was feeling dizzy and weak, but also absolutely fucking amazing! 

The first thing that ran through my mind was how I fucking wish there was nothing between us, no latex, no nothing. Soon, we’re gonna get tested, we’re gonna be negative and then we’ll have all the time in the world for coming inside of each other. He can feel some movement inside of him but it’s no where like the real stuff.

I collapsed my sweaty and exhausted body on top of his. Armie embraces me, or at least he tries, but I’m faster. I’m still inside of him when I rush to kiss his face, moving from his nose and his cheeks, eyes, chin, lips, forehead. 

“You did it, Armie!” 

I’m still kissing him and smiling widely. I pepper kiss his entire face, nose, eyes, chin, and mostly lips. Tears are running down my face because of exhausting, pride, happiness and because I just orgasmed. 

“I’m so proud of you, you did it!”

Now he embraces me and our sweaty bodies are as close as any two humans could intimately be. I’m so happy and proud for the both of us. Beyond happy and tired, I can only imagine how he must've felt.

“Fuck, Tim, I never came this hard in my life, for real…” Armie breathes out and grunts from his throat. I’ve never heard him say this. He covered his face for a second just to get back to reality. 

“I saw it…I felt it.” 

I giggle after saying this. 

My God, I’m gonna play the video of him coming again and again inside my head for the rest of my life. It was incredible.

“How was it?” I ask him.

“Fucking fantastic!”

We laugh together and kiss again. Now we’re silent. I’m still inside of him and stare at his face. 

Armie was looking up at the ceiling and smiled to himself, he must’ve remembered something I did or said. It made myself smile as well. This is the most wonderful person I have ever met, I chose him well. I chose the right person to let cut in front of me, and in my life.

“A genuine question, and then I’m pulling out.” I speak.

“Shoot. And don’t pull out yet.”

“I must. You can spasm and trap me like this.”

“Oh…what’s the question?” He didn’t know that was a possibility. We could both be in danger.

“Once I used to ask myself why didn’t I do this earlier…what about you?” I ask him.

“Yes, yes, yes! Earlier in life yes…fuck that was amazing…”

He’s still in shock and shining. My dear Armie, trust me, you haven’t been inside of me. When you do so, you’ll see what I’m talking about. Feeling the hotness and tightness of your partner, but also, being one with your partner. That’s the part that means the most to me.

“You’re so beautiful, Tim. Thank you…” Armie removes a lock from my face. 

He’s so gentle now, his skin feels softer, eyes are still black and shining, even his smile looks brighter, hair looks silkier, voice sounds even more sexy…a taste of dick changed him. 

I dive into his neck. Now this is my favorite part. Post-sex scent. Armie’s killing me, I’m suffocating. I might have gotten a bit hard inside of him, he felt it as well because he looked at me directly into my eyes and smirked. 

“You smell so good Armie, oh…I can’t help it.”

I’m suffocating in his scent. This is not normal. My entire room is bathing in his post-orgasmic intoxicating smell. I need to stop this or I’m gonna experience why it’s so amazing being a young bloated male full of cum. 

I had to do the unwanted and pull out. The spell is broken. We’re unbonded. I miss him already. I hiss once a cold air hit my cock, I miss his warmth so fucking much.

Armie gasps himself and quickly looks down to see it for himself where our bodies got separated. He slams his head back onto the mattress.

There were no words that I could express how proud and happy Armie made me this night. I wanted to shower him with kisses and praise all night long, he truly deserved it. His limp body lying underneath me gave me all the permission in the world from now on, he’s in this state because of me. Me. And nobody else.

“I’ll be back in a minute. Then we’ll shower.” I whisper against his lips and kiss him.

“Mhm…” He murmurs already losing his sense and control.

I went to the bathroom, took the condom off, it was full and heavy. Damn. I tied it up and threw it in the trash bin. My body was sweaty and exhausted but we’re gonna shower soon so it doesn’t really matter. I’d rather sleep like this, with him all over me. 

It was close to 2 am when I walked out and went back to my bedroom. That’s where I found Armie, lying all covered in sweat, come and bliss. He was asleep. What did I expect from him? I'd fall asleep myself if it wasn't for the stupid condom, and I didn't want to throw it in my own bin in the bedroom. 

I called him softly and quietly. No answers. He’s fucking exhausted. 

When something like this happens to a person, everything is justified. Armie was dead to the world, catatonic, he deserves to rest as long as he needed. All I could do is smile and join him. 

The sheets are already ruined so two sweaty bodies in it won’t do any harm until the morning comes. 

I turned the lamp off, blew out the candles, there weren't much left because this lasted for...three, four hours, and they can't last forever, I also turned the music off and turned our phones off.

I found the pillows and put them back on the bed. Armie slept on the mattress alone. He was in a state of bliss. I could actually read on his face that he just got fucked. His entire face was shining, and my room was filled with the intoxicating after-sex smell. I was drowning in it, I wish I could stake my entire life on this and die this way. 

I covered Armie with a blanked and joined him underneath it. My body craved his body, his touch, his scent, in every way possible. I nuzzled against his neck and inhaled him. Fuck that was strong. He was stronger than…yes, than him. He's not important now. He never was. Armie’s scent was warm and it tickled my nose, I wanted to lick him if that was a possibility for him to stay on my tongue forever, but I didn’t want to wake him up.

He moved for a second to embrace me towards him. And on the night when Armie Hammer got bottomed, I fell asleep to the smell of his post-sex bliss, and to the view of snow finally coming down outside my window.

Cozy, warm, beautiful, blissful…Armie and myself. 

This, him…it’s everything I asked for in silence, and got it as loud as I possible could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaay, here's the deal. I have never written a longer chapter ever, I've writen one shots of this length but not a chapter individually. I think it has around 11k words, not really sure, and other chapters have around 3k-4k words, and i think the last chapter "Taken" of "Naked as we came" has about as close as this one.  
> You must know I've been writing and editing this chapter for about two weeks, i haven't writen anything after this one. It took a really big tole on me and i was constantly working on it whenever i had a chance. I had it on my phone and at work, because there isn't much work to be done in a psychiatric clinic, I've been editing it for the past 4 days there.  
> So here's the deal, the next chapter is coming, i juts don't know when, in a few days for sure, but only because i need time to figure out what and how to write next. I'm not going anywhere, I'm just letting you guys know that there's gonna be a delay.  
> That's it, i really, really hope you liked this one because I'm pretty sure it's gonna haunt me lol  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars, and my Instagram account, which i rarely use these days, is @summer_of_1983__


	22. Sick and twisted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's morning, and the boys try something else yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gooood morning babies!! I know i said I'm gonna take a break after the previous massive chapter, but then i woke up the next day and started writing and just ignored my break. I love writing, it fulfills me and I'm always so eager to share whatever pops into my head.  
> I wrote this chapter in less than two days. I really hope you'll like it, enjoy it, and as always, let me know what you think about it in the comments! ❤️  
> P. S. I finished at the psychiatric clinic on Friday, and today I'm gonna head over to the surgical department and talk with the head nurse about when I'm gonna start there. I really missed working in the hospital, i hope it goes good for me.

I didn’t get much sleep that night. I’ve slept for maybe an hour, if I were to add it all up. I’d get up to go to the bathroom, I checked my phone, it was 3:40 am, scrolled down some apps, I went to the kitchen and drank a glass of water, ate some snacks i found on the counter, came back to bed and 5 minutes later I got up to go to the bathroom again to get that glass of water out of my system. Besides those tiny unimportant things, the other reasons why I haven’t slept were the adrenaline, excitement, current situation and the person who slept next to me, dead to the world, who never made a sound or moved an inch while I was doing the exact opposite. 

Somewhere in the middle of the night, he woke up only to spoon me from behind, and that was the last pose I remember falling asleep to before dawn knocked on my window. Armie seemed to be sleeping all the time, even when he woke up, or at least I think he did, to spoon me, he never answered any of my questions about what time it was or did he rest, or did he want to sleep some more. I guess this is just his body following his instincts; looking for a partner, looking for warmth, looking for something that can feed him. Are we really this close? Him waking up to embrace me is now something that comes naturally to him? 

After his first time, I wouldn’t be surprised if he were to sleep until late evening. His body went through something new, something, on one hand, traumatizing, and on the other hand, wonderful. Something went inside of his lower hole and it turned him on, so much that he looked like he was having a seizure with stiff face and veins on his neck, when he came. I’ll carry this image of him like that forever. Also, the sounds he was making, the looks, his smiles, kisses…everything, I am now owning it. Just like images of us in the car, in the shower, in this very bed we now slept in…

When Armie never answered me I just snuggled against my pillow and finally, fell asleep, feeling the tiredness catching up to me. It was about time. 

My back is cold, he’s not behind me anymore. I hear his footsteps, I hear Archie’s paws stumping on the wooden floor, I hear water in the bathroom, I hear him coming back to bed. I feel the bed damping, then coming back to its original form. I feel the light from the lamp blasting into my face, my red sweater was still on it. I hear footsteps and bed damping again. He’s moving, left and right, arms and legs extending, flexing, and clenching. I hear the sound of his phone being turned on. He grunts, yawns, exhales and is typing something on his phone. I move a little just to let him know I’m still here, I’m alive and I’m awake. He snorts and yawns again. He puts his phone down, or at least he tried, the phone fell down on the wooden floor and he cursed to himself “Fuck…”. The noise was very loud and he was silent as he bent down to pick it up. Armie tried not to wake me up but he had to have known I’ve been alive for a while now, I just couldn’t open my eyes. 

I hear and feel him moving on the bed. I can’t wrap my mind around on how is he lying now. 

I deeply inhale and exhale. I yawn. 

“Tim?” I would’ve never believed that a man of his enormous size was abled to produce such a soft voice.

I don’t answer him. Let him wake me up properly.

“Hey, Tim…”

Still nothing from me.

Then I feel his finger on my shoulder, it’s going south and I began shivering when he reached my elbow. I hear him smile, he knows I’m awake, and he knows that I know that he knows I’m awake. 

The next I feel is the blanket being raised in the air, a cold wind hits my back, butt and legs, and a second later, his warm, naked body is pressed against my back. I melt instantly. 

I feel his chest hair on my back, they’re tickling me, they’re covered in Armie’s semen. Long and hairy legs pressed up against mine, his crotch against my butt, his hand roaming my arm, and his lips leaving tiny pecks on my shoulder.

My eyes open immediately. He’s still kissing me and touching my arm, the warmth spreads faster than anything ever before. He presses his crotch a bit closer to my butt. It’s like he…wants to get inside me, the easy way around. 

Armie breaths out into my neck and I lose it. 

To get back at him, I push behind me with my butt to meet him halfway. He feels it and moans softly against my ear. I continue to push again and again. If this is a challenged, and it’s round number two, then I’m all in.

“God, I knew you were a tease…” He breathes out against my ear.

This is when I smirk at that and push the arm, that he’s been caressing, behind me and cup his cock. He hisses.

“Wow…good morning to me I guess…” Armie moans once I began stroking his cock up and down.

I turn my head around just to look at him. My God, he’s so beautiful. He is still shining, he’s exactly how I left him hours ago.

“Good morning…” I whisper and smile at him.

He smiles back and we kiss. He goes back to kissing my neck and I’m still stroking him. He’s hard in no time. 

It was such a wonderful scenario; it was cold outside, and we were inside, where it was warm, underneath a warm blanket, him kissing my neck and caressing my arm, and me stroking him slowly at a peak of dawn. I had no idea what time it was, but it had to be around 10 or 11 am.

Guess we’re in for round two. Only this time…we're gonna switch.

Armie got the taste of real sex last night and the fact that he woke me up by pressing his cock against my butt makes it all clear. He wants more.

I stop stroking him and remove my hand from underneath the blanket. Also, I removed the blanket, we don’t need it, I want his body out on the open. 

Armie slowly and gently turned me around on my back. He then sat up against the wall and fiddled with something on the nightstand. I couldn’t see it from my lying position, maybe it was a box of condoms or lube. So I turned around on my side and supported my head with my hand just so I could see what’s his deal. Armie opened a brand new pack of cigarettes that he had set on for the after sex action. But he fell asleep almost instantly after we were done and I didn’t want to do it alone.

I’m smiling as I watch him take one out and light it up. He looks beyond hot while smoking with his skin still shining and sweaty hair all messed up. I’m tingling downstairs just by looking at him like that.

“That’s a delayed action, you know?” I said and smiled.

He inhaled a smoke and turned to look at me.

“What is?” 

“You should smoke after sex.” I poke his thigh, I tease him some more.

“What’s wrong with smoking before sex?” He hands me the cigarette and I take an inhale from his hand.

Before sex? Well, well, well…this came pretty fast. He sounded pretty confident. What happened to the guy from hours ago? The guy who took time to say sex out loud. He was gone, I guess. I pushed him away.

“Oh, is that where we’re headed?” I tease him again

He winked at me and took another inhale.

“If you’re up for it, that is…” He adds.

“Armie, your friend here is already up so…”

He smirked and winked again.

“Want one?” He offers me a pack.

“Nah. I want this.”

He’s feeling and looking pretty confident this morning, and so do I, just by being around him. Since he lied with his legs spread and one knee was bent, it made it so much easy for me to just place myself between his long legs.

Armie nervously inhaled as I kept looking him in the eyes. I take his cock in my hand and put in my mouth. 

“Timmm…fuckkhh…mmm…” Armie inhaled all the air from this room once he felt my wet and hot mouth around him.

I absolutely take my time now. I support myself with one elbow and hold his cock with the other hand as I’m going down on him. My only intention is to warm him up for real. He’s still smoking that cigarette. He’s hard, and his cock is full of meat and skin, veins and pubic hair…I’m suffocating in my own action. My eyes are closed as I kept on swallowing him as much as I could, I didn’t want to waste time and play the mind game in swallowing his entire cock; half size is enough. He tastes even better; it’s because of me and what I put into his body for the first time in his life. That’s my title now, I’m unique. 

“Mmmm, just like that baby, oh…” Armie moans out and puts his hand on my head; he’s not tugging or pulling my curls, his hand is there as a support. He has changed, in less than…12 hours? He sounds and looks more confident than when I met him. I sense his actions had gone deeper, meaning, he’s more determined when sex comes to question. He knows what he wants, when he wants it and how he wants it. And because I’m just as twisted as he is, I’m gonna do it my best to fulfill whatever he has in that big head of his. I love him, I’m prepared to do everything. 

I can hear him still smoking and moaning from time to time. He’s so hard in my mouth and I love the feeling of taking a full hand of his skin in my mouth. We’re gonna switch this morning. I can’t wait to feel him inside of me. My cock twitches at the thought of Armie taking me in any position he desired. I went through this before, it won’t take much time just to warm me up a bit. Now, we can try multiple poses. I’m both excited and nervous.

“Tim? Look up…”

I do and I see Armie’s phone in front of me. He’s filming this. I figured he has his own private archive like me. I pop him out and give him a performance of slapping his cock on my tongue, all along, pulling a smirk on my face. He’s gonna lose his shit when he watches this when he’s alone and I’m nowhere near him.

“God, you look so beautiful while sucking my dick baby, mmm…”

I slap some more and spit on it. A large amount of saliva jumps out of my mouth and I smeared it all over his cock, all along looking at the camera. The hand in which he held the phone shakes. I’m gonna ask him to show me the video so we can jerk off to it together; he’ll have an image of me sucking his cock, and I’ll have his new and improved sexy voice, that was enough for me to come.

“Tim…what are you doing to me baby, oh…”

I keep on sucking him and looking directly at the camera. I relax my throat and open my mouth even more, as I took him all the way until the end. Once my nose got tickled by his pubic hair I knew I managed to put his whole size inside of my mouth.

I haven't even had breakfast, yet Armie's feeding me well. 

Armie pants and gasps, all along smoking and moaning, all together. I keep on staring into the camera as I perform for his little own home video. God this is so filthy, it’s amazing, I want more.

After a while, I stop sucking him off and straddle his hips. With this man, I want to push any type of boundaries I ever consumed before in my life. I don’t think twice when I grab his hard and wet cock and slide it back and forth my hole. It needs space so make it for him. It makes me moan and grunt, which I do out loud, and let my head fall behind me. Armie held me by my waist and is squirming and panting. 

“Ah! Ah! Oh…fuuuuuuuck Tim, mmm…baby, oh…you feel so good…” He breathes out, letting his head slam against the bed. 

My head is unstable, eyes roll at the back of my head, I feel so dirty and love every second of it. I lean over and grabbed one condom out of the box and a bottle of lube.

When Armie sees me gather the essentials, he puts the cigarette out and takes his phone away. It falls onto the floor yet again but he doesn’t care. It stays there. He makes himself comfortable. He takes the bottle away from me and pours it onto his fingers. He looked a bit lost for a while, he didn’t know where or how to put them now that he can’t see my hole from this position.

I bent down, smash our faces together and I whisper to his lips. There is no space, there is no air between us, we are, once again, so soon, gonna be close. My heart is gonna explode from all this warmth and hotness. 

“Armie, put your fingers inside me, now.” My voice is strange, I’m still trying to wake up and realize what we’re about to do. 

There is no time for fear, this is happening now, I want him to feel me and I want him to experience sleeping with another guy, only this time, he’ll be on top. There was always a part of me that feared of the fact how the fuck am I gonna take his enormous cock up my hole. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

He looks terrified but it’ll pass. He has no idea how I feel on the inside. Maybe that’s a good thing. I’d hate to lose a confident Armie so soon.

“It’s okay, I can take it, I promise…” I soothe him with a smile, and a whisper. 

Our eyes are fixated, I’m not letting this go unseen. Armie reaches behind my back and pushes a knuckle inside me after massaging my hole for couple of seconds. I stop reacting and his response to that is to kiss me and call me by my name. His voice is there, I can hear him but my body just went through shock and trauma, I need time to come back to life. I’m much more opened than he is but it still aches a little bit, especially because Armie has long fingers. 

“Keep going…” I grunt.

He listens to me and pushes a finger all the way inside my hole. I can feel his finger getting swallowed by my wet and tight hole. I promised him In my head that I’m gonna be the tightest he’s ever penetrated into.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop…gimme more, I want…ah…I want more…” I kept on repeating this, all along moaning and exhaling into his soft lips.

I love him for being this cautious but we won’t last if he’s scared of every step he makes.

“Armie, do it! I need you!”

Soon, the other finger is already two knuckles deep, then three and then it’s all the way inside. I cry out his name and bit down on his shoulder. Armie sounds terrified. He needs to know that he’s not hurting me, if anyone were to see what I did to him last night…well that could be considered as an illegal torture. 

“Tim, baby? You okay?” He calls for me but I’m still buried in his neck.

I’m silent. For a long time. He hears me breathing. He never bottomed before, and I did, he had me as his guide, I knew exactly when, how and what to do, that’s why last night was so successful. I never let him fall silent and choking on his breath, I reminded him to breathe and to touch himself at all times, that’s all because I went through it all couple of times before. And now…he has no idea what is happening or what is going on with my body, and why the fuck am I reacting this way. But having him caressing my back, kissing my cheeks, whispering my name is enough…he’s gonna learn through time, no doubt. Right now, this is more than enough. At least I’m not going through this alone.

“I’m fine…” I mutter and bite on his shoulder again.

“Can I move them? You’re so tight…” He asks and kisses my cheek again.

“Yeah, yeah…”

I come out and face him. My lips rush to his and that’s the only way I can soothe the pain. I haven’t had sex in over a year, is my virginity back now?

We kiss as Armie’s fingers move inside and outside of my body. Tears are sliding down my face and are making our kiss wet. After some time, I let go completely and open up, enough for Armie to push the third finger inside of me, but he decides not to instead. His fingers are so fucking long, I don’t think I need his cock inside me, they’re enough, damn Hammer. 

When he twisted the fingers, I winched in his arms.

“You wanna stop, Tim?” Armie’s voice shivered, he was indeed scared.

I come out of his neck and support myself on the palms of my hands. Now he can look at me. I’m crying and blushing, I’m flustered and already sweating. Yes, I looked awful, but it felt so good. 

“No, no, no, I’m fine…please…continue…” I breathe out.

“You look like you’re in a lot of pain. And you’re crying. I’m afraid I’m hurting you...” 

“You’re not. I’d tell you if I wanted to stop. I promised you I’d be putting myself first from now on. And this is for me, for us…I’m not in pain, I swear. It feels so fucking good, guess I just need time to adjust to your massive fingers.” I said it and kiss him.

“Okay, I love you Tim…so much…I hate seeing you like this when you’re in my arms…” Armie’s eyes are now filling with tears. I hate seeing him like this as well.

“I love you…too…” I can barely whisper it. I can barely make up a whole sentence. 

“Tell me when you want to…”

His confidence is gone. I’m gonna get it back really soon, I promise. Right now, he needs to continue this because I can’t hold it any longer. 

I give him a quick nod, close my eyes and prepare myself for what is coming. I can feel Armie’s eyes on me; he’s more focused on my face rather than getting his mind into fingering me. I can’t believe we’re actually doing this, it feels so unreal. Hours and hours ago, it was different, and now…it’s like I’ve never been through this already. Either I forgot the feeling: the pressure, the pain, or…that first guy, whose name I refuse to think about with Armie’s fingers inside me, wasn’t big enough for me to actually feel something. I smirked to myself and breathed out. 

Armie began moving his fingers and I felt a lot better. I breathed out once again, and he’s got the sign now, he’s doing something right, he’s not hurting me anymore. There is no end to his fingers…I don’t know how am I gonna take him when the real action starts.

I wish this is something we could do all day, every day, forever. Not just sex, but this type of connection and bonding, this sort of love, this sort of closeness, where I can’t see anything because my eyes are filled with tears, when I can’t breathe and I’m choking, but his hot breath is the only source of oxygen I have, where I know nothing other than his love and worship, his insides and his voice, when I don’t know another world outside of this bedroom, this bed, his body…I want that type of closeness, I want that type of love.

His fingers inside my body…just the thought of it makes me twitch on his stomach, I haven’t touched myself yet, and here I am, being an all mighty philosopher telling Armie to touch himself constantly, and I don’t even do it myself. He twists them again and now I whimper on that move. He’s so good at this, he has no idea, he’s never done this before and yet, I’m losing my shit over here. This is amazing, this is everything. And the best is yet to come.

I hate that I can’t see him connecting with me and parting through fingers, but feeling this takes me to the edge where I think about him and him alone, nobody else, nothing else. Just Armie. 

“Tim…touch yourself…” Armie breathes out into my ear.

Oh, I knew this one was coming. I must’ve bored him with saying this over and over when he was where I am now. I listen to him and start stroking myself while he’s still working me up with his fingers on the other end. I gasp when I touched myself. His face is barely an inch away from mine; all I can see is his skin, his lips, his eyes, smell his sweat, hear his soft moans because of how tight I was, and listen to him soothing me and calling my name.

“It’s okay, just a little bit longer…” He says, now he’s in charge. 

Some of his confidence returned; I’m gonna let him guide me because I’m now lost as fuck. The only knowledge I have of this morning is him, his body, his scent and his voice, nothing else. And I don’t need anything else other than him.

“Mmhm…” I moan when he stuffed them all the way back inside of me.

I rush to kiss him and bite his lips. 

My body goes weak when I reach between us and start touching him. Now, both of my hands are occupied. Armie’s body is where I lie on, my entire weight is on top of his, there is nothing left for the bed, he is my bed. 

“Fuuck, babe, mmm…” Armie moans into my neck and embraces me with his free arm. 

I can’t breathe, it’s so hot between us.

We continue like this for a while; my head is stuck in his neck, I’m lying on top of him and stroking the both of us, as much as I can reach, he has digits inside my hole and we’re both moaning and panting, kissing from time to time and really taking it seriously, like our first kiss.

My God, the amount of shit that went down this very room.

That’s when I feel Armie leak in my hand, he’s not gonna take much longer. And like our bodies were designed to respond and react at the same time, I start leaking soon after him.

I can’t take it anymore, I need him, I’m ready. I pull my face out of his neck and stare into his eyes, mine are still wet.

“Please…Armie…fuck me…please…” I moan into his face, his cock twitches in my hand. I’m loving this.

I read fear on his face. How does he not understand that the best is yet to come, and that there is absolutely nothing he needs to be afraid of.

“You want that? You ready babe?” He licks his lips and speeds up his fingers inside of me.

I wince and jump, it tickles me and makes me arch my back into his hand over and over again. God, I must’ve looked so dirty; he’s fucking me with his hand again and again, and here I was, loving every fucking second of it so much. 

“Nnnghnnn…”

Why didn’t he speed up sooner? This makes my eyes roll so quickly, I’m letting out sounds I never knew I had it in me. I continue arching my back, meeting his hand half way, he’s fucking my hole so beautifully, I want more.

“Aaarmieee…sooo go-o-o-d, mmmm….” I’m stuttering at the speed. 

I can’t see shit, my eyes are watery. This feels so fucking good.

“Babe, I think it’s time…” He chuckles and starts pulling his fingers out.

I quickly grabbed his wrist and held it there in one spot.

“No, no, no please…not yet, this feels so good, oh…” I breathe into his lips, maybe now he’ll give me what I need. 

He tried pulling his fingers out three times but I would always stick my hand there and keep them inside. The fourth time I gave up and let him pull them out.

“I will set aside a day to fuck you only with fingers, okay?” Armie directly said this to my face. I twitch in my hand. The image of Armie brining me to the edge on just his fingers…

I nodded and finally gave up. 

I’m still touching myself as I sat up on his stomach, my back is aching. I ran fingers through my hair and wiped my face off. 

Armie grabs a condom and fails to open it because his fingers are slippery. I open it for him and turn around, squatting on him to help him roll it on. His hands roam my back instantly, from my butt cheeks to my neck, I turn around to see what I’m doing and when the condom fits perfectly on his cock, I turn back around to look at him. I hand Armie the bottle of lube and he slicks himself up behind me, and now he’s ready as well. He’s right, the L size is small even for him. So it’s XL from now on. My God…

I want to let him know this but I’m sure this has crossed his mind as well, since I’m convinced our minds work and react alike. I’m mentally getting ready to feel him breach me. 

“Okay?” He asks and raised his eyebrows as a way of communicating. 

I nod. I’m ready.

I make myself comfortable on top of him, he does the same. 

Armie reaches behind me and holds my butt cheeks spread with one hand, and with the other one, he’s guiding himself inside.

I hold onto his chest hair, closed my eyes and count the milliseconds before feeling him inside.

He does it very carefully, slowly, which can be a killer, but I love him for being so cautious. 

I go stiff when I feel the head getting in. My hands grasp onto his chest hair harder when he continued just pushing inside. I’m much easier than him, it’ll take less time. Armie’s not stopping, and I don’t want him to, he keeps on pushing his cock inside of me and just for a moment I opened my eyes to see his face; he’s blushing and bits of sweat are running down his temple, lips are parted, he looks worried but still very handsome. Is he trying to control himself instead of just pushing in all the way? Probably. Soon. The next time, we’ll have no problems getting inside each other, this is just a little warm up for me, I needed to be reminded of the greatest feeling in the world. 

After maybe a minute or two of him cautiously stuffing me, he’s fully inside me. I let go of his chest hair and breathe out. Armie brough his hands to him and pulled me down to kiss him. We make out for a while just so I can get my mind off things. But I’m not in pain, yes I feel him, it feels like he’s tearing me apart and I’m bleeding, but it’ll pass, that’s just inside my head. 

Finally, it feels like a part of my life has come back to me. Until Armie got inside of me, I never knew a part of me was even missing in the first place. Why did it take a complete stranger to make me feel whole? He was a nobody, a guy a met a few weeks ago, and now that we’re here, together, reaching the highest rate of two humans getting close and reuniting their bodies…is this what was missing? Was Armie the guy that, not only could fill my body, but my heart and life as well? Him, a complete nobody to me? This is where I belong, this is where he belongs, this is meant to be, our bodies are just easily finding their ways back to their original forms. Him in me, me in him. My heart is now full, I’m afraid it’ll burst out of love, I am breathing again, I can see it clearly, my skin is peeling off and showing my insides to this stranger underneath me, my soul is now pure, my mind is working fast and I can think straight, that’s only because he’s inside of me.

This is like coming home. Where I belong.

I want to thank him for making me feel this way, I want him to know just how much I appreciate him, just how much I respect him, just how much I love him. I’m sure he knows it all, but he still needs to know, I want him to, I need him to.

I rush to kiss him once more and I start arching my back again, as a start of moving.

Armie hisses into my lips and I don’t react, he’s so big, I feel like I'm on fire, I can’t choose how to respond, I’d rather scream.

“You okay, babe?” Armie asks me through a whisper, his voice has changed.

“Yeah…yeah…” I’m not even sure about my own answer.

I just continue arching my back. The latex kills it for me, at least there is no pain, just pressure. I’d rather bounce on top of him but no…still early. 

It’s not working, it’s very uncomfortable for a first time after a year of not having sex. 

“You wanna try something else?” Armie asked me and kissed my chin.

He noticed I’ve been having troubled with this pose.

I nod, he smiles softly at me. I love when he smiles at me like this, it’s saying “Don’t worry, I got this, babe.”

Tear slides down my cheeks and Armie wipes it off. 

He’s still inside of me, only now he sits up with me still in his lap. His arms hug my tiny and restless body and he managed to move our position at the end of the bed. I was shocked when I put the pieces together and realized that this man carried me, latched onto him like a koala bear, and settled us down so my head was at the end of the bed. I giggled the entire time. He’s so strong, it was like nothing to him. Now he’s above me and he spread my legs immediately when he landed me upside down.

“Is this okay?” He sees me giggle and he does the same.

“Yeah, yeah, this is perfect…”

He kisses me and buries his face into my neck, I embrace him with both of my arms, I’m not letting go. Armie doesn’t take a second longer when he starts thrusting inside me. I moan into his ear so quickly and loudly. Yes, this is just so fucking perfect!

“Fuck, Armie!” I moan into his ear again.

He comes out of my neck, veins popping all over his blushed face. He himself takes one of my hands and puts it on my cock. I have to touch myself, got it, sir. 

Oh dear Lord. 

Sir. 

This just makes me hornier. I always wanted to know if he’s as sick as he is in my head. Armie’s thrusting over and over again, he’s not stopping, he has the full access.

“Fuuuuck, Tim…you feel…Jesus, oh my God…” He moans out every single word. 

“Good?”

“So fucking good, babe!”

Armie basically kneels as he continues to fuck me. He raised one of my legs up to his shoulder, while my other leg Is lazily lying on the bed. I’m touching myself, stroking faster and faster, I can’t stop. This feels so good. The way he’s thrusting deep inside of me almost makes me fall off the bed because of how hard he's pushing my entire body, my head is already hanging. I’m letting go. This is the life!

He himself is making noises I never heard before. Then again, we haven’t engaged into this sort of intimacy that much for me to hear and see everything that he lets out. 

His confidence is back but I want to see more.

He stops and I looked down what is going on, then he’s pounding inside me brutally fast, so fast, I cry it out and feel the warmth rushing over me. Then he’s brutally slow and I scream out his name. He’s teasing me, he’s testing himself, this is perfection.

I need to see more of him only because I feel very dirty now. I must know if he’s the same. He striked me, in the beginning, as a very dominant guy in bed. That was before I knew that all he had were girlfriends. I’ll find out later if he really is as dominant as I thought he was. And sick. 

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…” I hiss and grunt through my teeth.

He’s brutally pouding again, over and over again. The bed is moving, time stopped, I’m so horny, I’m gonna explode.

“Choke me, Armie…come on, choke me!” I scream out.

He looks like he’s been waiting for my permission to do so. A second later, without contemplating, both of his hands are around my neck. I can’t breathe but Armie has a hungry look in his eyes, he’s burning with desire. I smile with teeth as I’m being chocked and pounded so beautifully brutal and hard. And by a guy who’s never slept with another guy before.

God, I love this so much. He’s as filthy as me.

“Fuck me, fuck me, oh…yes Armie! A-a-ah-rmie…mmmm…” I continue begging for it, I want him to wreck me, ruin me, split me apart, destroy my body and my mind. 

I open my eyes to look at him, he’s still a beast, filled with desire, passion and brutal manners, I want him exactly like this.

Then Armie took a chance, and spat on me. It landed on my chest, neck, and some on my face.

My God, this is wonderful. I smiled with teeth out. This turns me on so fucking much.

“Fuck, I knew you were sick…” I breathe out through a smile.

Armie smirks and bents down, not changing his speed.

His hand is around my neck again. Keep it there, please. I wish he would leave marks on my skin, all over my body. I'd be his and his only. I'd have a mark to prove it. 

“Yeah? You like me being sick, babe? Do you?” His voice is so rough, and harsh, I can’t recognize this confident person I pulled out of him.

“Oh…yeah…”

“Turn around then.” He grunts.

He pulled out and I immediately obeyed him and lied on my stomach. Armie swat my ass, I giggled, he raised my butt in the air and pushed inside me brutally fast again. No mercy. Good, I never asked for it.

I try to raise my body on all fours, but Armie’s hand on my head slammed me back down so brutally. 

“Fuuuuuck…yeaaah, fuck me, Armie!” I mutter into the blanked that is now, just like the sheets, ruined.

Armie keeps his hand on my head as he’s speeing up even faster. I’m screaming, louder, I leave nothing to the imagination.

There’s not much I can hold on to, I pull the blanket with my teeth and dig my hands into the mattress. 

I’m close.

He’s so violet and brutal, it makes me feel hot and heavy. I can’t breathe, I can’t see what he’s doing, I’m crying his name out, screaming, grunting, chocking.

He’s no better. 

His sweaty body has been pounding against mine so fast, it’s perfect. Armie’s shivering and moaning so loudly, so deeply, it makes me twitch. He swats my ass from time to time.

I made a beast out of a man during his first intercourse with another guy. While he’s on top. I want him to always be on top.

My hole is burning.

I’m kicking my legs all over the bed. 

Armie’s tugging my hair and rearranging my head on my shoulders; this is gonna hurt pretty soon, but I couldn’t care less. He’d tug my hair and then caress it, then he’d tug it again and it’s back to slamming my head against the mattress. My God, he’s so fucking sick. I love it!

It looks like I’m asking for him to stop or I'm trying to let him know that this is too much, but it’s all the opposite; I don’t want him to stop, he’ll kill me if he stops. I want it harder and faster.

“Touch yourself, babe…” His voice is pure yet again.

I reach out and cup my cock. I’m close. So very close.

“I’m close Armie…” I turn around just a little bit to let him know.

“Fuck yeah…me too babe…”

Armie slowed down and collapsed his body on top of mine. Now I really can’t move or breathe.

The only world I know is a hot and sweaty body on top of me, his cock splitting my hole apart, the white mattress and blanket on which I’ve been holding onto for dear life. Nothing more, nothing less. 

My stomach hurts. Here we go.

“Armie…I’m gonna come…please…harder…” I breathe out with the last atom of my energy. 

He says nothing and goes even harder.

I cry out his name and seconds later, I decorate the bed with another white substance. I’m back to hyperventilating when I come. Armie’s now slowly thrusting, hands roaming my back, kisses on my shoulder blades. I collapse completely. I can’t move. My mind is in a fog.

“I’m close babe…” He grunts out, already preparing for it, breathing very fast.

I start arching my back just to make some friction and turn him on, to bring him closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Tim, I’m gonna co-oh…”

Armie holds me in one place and five seconds later, I can feel him filling up the condom. Fuck, how I wished there was nothing between us. Just him and me. Soon. Tomorrow. No, tomorrow is the test. Then Thursdays, when the results come in. Yes. I’m gonna ask him to fuck me, fill me up and leave me like that all day long. 

He pulls out and collapses next to me.

I smile at him with my eyes already closing down. His eyes are closed and I can see that he’s trying to stabilize his breathing. 

After couple of minutes of just lying like that, Armie takes my entire body in his two arms and brings it towards himself. He’s pepper kissing my sweaty and exhausted face.

“Thank you, Tim…that was…everything…thank you for giving yourself to me…”

All I can do is smile.

“I’ve never done anything like that before…” He says as he’s caressing my face, removing my curls. I still have his dried spit on my chin. Beautiful.

“Never? Chocking? Spitting? Never?” I’m indeed surprised.

“Never. I wanted to, but some thought it was sick…”

“It is sick. But you’re as sick as me and I love that.” I smirk and bite my lip.

“Really?”

“Mhm…”

I soothe him and he kisses me again.

“You should take that off.” I point out to the condom when we parted.

“Oh, shit, sorry…”

“No need to apologize. Go to the bathroom and remove it.”

Armie got up. He’s all sweaty and full of skin and hair. My man.

“You wanna shower when I get back?” He asked.

“Nah…I wanna sleep some more. We can shower after that.”

“Okay, you got it.”

He left the room.

When Armie got out of the room, I had to make the toughest decision ever and move my head a little to the right so I could see what time it was.

Holy shit. It was only 07:47 am. 

I thought it was later. Noon maybe, 1 pm…

When he came back, I couldn't really remember much. I know he asked me to lie back onto the pillow, which I did, he covered me up with another blanket that wasn’t ruined, tucked me in, kissed my cheek and caressed my hair.

He said something but i forgot what it was. 

That’s the last thing I remember before drifting off. I don’t remember him coming back to bed to join me. Guess he’s not tired. He got a good night sleep already, now it’s my turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	23. Blissful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies! Here's the next chapter, i really had a lot of fun writing this one. This is exactly how i see them, it doesn't get any more real than this. Anyway, enjoy it, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know what you think about it in the comments. ❤️

“Tim…”

It sounds like an echo.

“Tim?”

Wherever I am lying now, I feel it moving, shaking, shaking my entire being.

“Tim, baby, wake up…”

His voice finally sharpens and I can hear him clearly. It’s Armie. Of course it is, who else would be there. I open my eyes just a little to see where am I, and then I rush to squeeze them shut. I’m in my bedroom, in my bed, that things that moved was him sitting on the bed. He’s caressing my hair and face. His fingers are cold, or are my cheeks boiling? 

I opened my eyes again. Armie’s face is so close to mine. He’s not naked anymore, he has a sweater on, and looks cleaned. I miss his naked body. He looks so good. Did he shower? Without me?

I squeeze my eyes shut again and grunt.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry…” Armie’s voice is soft as he continues to caress my hair, then he moves that hand down my arm. I slept on my side, just like when he left me, I have a perfect memory of it. It was beyond hot in the room and underneath the blanket, I was naked, my skin was boiling. 

“What happened?” I ask him while yawning. I rub my eyes to see clearly. The windows were opened, not all the way, I could make that out, it wasn’t dark anymore like it was at dawn. Some light came in, made the room brighter. It feels nice. We’ve been in dark for days.

I don’t know why is he waking me up. Something must’ve happened.

“Nothing happened, but I think it’s time you wake up. It’s 2pm. You should eat, shower, get out of this room for a while…”

I breathe out. My brain is slow, I need time. I know what we did last night, and at dawn. We went from a passionate first time to a twisted fuck fest. He was choking me, spiting on me, swatting my ass, pulling my hair, brutally fucking me…oh…I need to stop. I doubt my body is ready for round number three. 

Unless…

“2 pm? I’m so tired…” I grunt and go back to muttering against the pillow. I drooled all over it. So glad Armie wasn’t there to see that. Or maybe he did. In the end, what does it matter? He saw other things come out of my body so what’s a big puddle of saliva on my pillow any worse.

“I know, that’s my fault.” He chuckled. 

“Mhm…”

Silence. I’m still moping around the pillow. I don’t want to wake up, get up, let the water touch my skin, let clothes cover my body, let food into my system…I want him. I want him to feed me, take care of me, be my cloak of protection. 

“Did you rest at least?” He asked me and leaned closer with his body crushing on top of mine.

Yes! I can feel his weight again. It feels so fucking good, just like it was meant to be.

“I think so. I need time to come to my senses…” I grunt again.

Armie jokingly mutters into the blanket that was covering my naked and dirty body.

He lifted his face from the blanket eventually and I know that as much as he wanted to join me underneath it, we both knew it was time we make a change. 

“Come on, I made you breakfast, tea, coffee, there’s croissants, bagels, doughnuts, eggs, bacon…everything you want.” Armie said and swat my thigh through the blanket. I felt him.

I looked at him, shocked. He must’ve read that face. I smiled eventually. 

“It’s my little thank you gift.” He adds.

“For what?”

Armie bent down and his face was now an inch away from mine. His eyes got their normal color back, but he was still shining. Armie was smiling and he kissed my nose. 

“For last night. And this morning.” He whispered. 

I licked my lips. This is what I get when I welcome him to the new world. I knew he’d like it, I knew he was as sick as me. 

“Are you okay with what we did? With what…I…did to you?” I ask him.

Nobody asked me this when it was my first time. I’m doing it right this time, I’m getting informed, I’m transferring knowledge to him, I want him to enjoy it completely, not just when he comes.

“I couldn’t be more on board with it.”

Armie’s hovering above me, it makes it harder for me to breathe.

“I love you. You bring out something that’s been buried inside of me for a very long time, you let me do things I never knew I would like that. You let me in. You let me explore. And I love you for that. I love the man I’m changing into. Because of you.” He said. Are those tears in his eyes?

“Armie I…”

“No need to go all dramatic like me. Just say you love me. I don’t need anything else.” He said caressing our noses together.

“Well first I have to mean it…” I giggle.

“You little shit.”

We laugh together. And kiss after that. His lips are exactly where they should be.

“I love you. So much.” I breathe out against his lips. He kisses me again, this time deeply. 

We stay like that for a while. He’s kissing my forehead, I closed my eyes and let my skin absorb every single peck. I feel butterflies in my stomach after everything we did, and here we are…it couldn’t be more perfect.

“What did you do?” I ask him. The hot air between us is getting more and more common. 

“I don’t know, bunch of stuff. I changed clothes, took Archie out, went to the store, fed the pup when I got back, made you breakfast that it’s getting cold, as we speak…” He’s been very productive. 

“Did you shower?” I need to know.

“No. I’m waiting for you.”

I sigh, relief. I don’t want him to wash two nights of what we had alone.

Armie’s walking around my place, around the city, still covered in dried cum and sweat. It makes me tingle down there. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that we had sex twice in less than…10 hours. It doesn’t feel real, so many things just cramped into one day. What did we do before that? We watched TV. Before that it was all that shit about the party and me getting wasted and…yes, him. Persona non grata. Oh wow, I finished the exams yesterday. It feels like it’s been weeks since that last one. My God, time flies with him, and it’s making me question everything I did and said. 

This is what I want. A man, a relationship where I lose track of time.

“When are we gonna go tomorrow?” He asked me. I’m confused.

“Where?” I frowned.

“To get tested.” He sounds surprised I forgot.

“Oh, right. Um…around 8 am, 8:30 am?” I suggested. 

He nods.

“Are you scared?” I ask him.

“Absolutely not. I know I’m negative.”

Good for him.

“I was scared. The first time I went. I was alone. I never told anyone, not my mom, not Victor, nobody. I couldn’t sleep for three days. All I could see is them handing me a piece of paper that said -positive-. My life would flash before my eyes. But not the current one. The future life. I just know that…if I had it…nobody would touch me or come near me. You’re marked for life. You’re the guy who slept with another guy and got infected. I’d picture always telling someone that I have it and I could vividly see them walking away from me. I know my family would stay by my side no matter what. But I couldn’t stay locked up in my room for the rest of my life just because I was scared of infecting someone, and because I’d have to get used to people running away from me. Even though there are only few ways you can get it from someone, I just know people would rush to wash their hands after touching me, or getting tested themselves if I were to maybe cough in front of them. It’s scary as fuck.” I said. My voice was shivering. I never told this to anyone. Armie is the first person in my life that knows my true fears. And he stayed here by my side.

Silence. He’s not saying anything, he’s waiting for me to finish. I felt my eyes tearing up.

“Then when I saw that I was negative, I was relieved. And every single time after that.”

He smiled.

“Now, I’m doing this because of you. Because we’re in this together and because I want us to be safe than sorry.” I wiped my eyes.

Silence. He’s just staring at me, I’m not.

“Look at me.” He whispered.

I did.

He touched my cheek and caressed it with his thumb.

“That part of your life is over. You shouldn’t have been alone, God…no…you shouldn’t have. Nobody should go through this on their own. Someone’s life can change forever. We’re both negative. I know it.” He said. I believe him.

“I know we are, I know you know it.”

We smiled at each other.

“And we should get out more. We haven’t been out in public for days…” He spoke after that, so close to me.

“We went grocery shopping last night…” I chuckled.

Armie’s eyes wondered off. He too is trying to remember everything that has happened in the last 12 hours.

“Oh right…”

I laugh at that.

“But still…” He adds.

I’m silent. Armie brought his nose against my temple. He can smell me, just like I did it to him. 

Armie almost fall underneath my spell again, meaning, I almost managed to drag him back to bed, underneath the warm blanket with me, he can press his body against mine at all times.

“You can’t do this to me, Tim. You need to get up, stand, otherwise I’m not gonna promise you you’ll be walking normally for days.” He breathed out against my skin.

“I love that. And there is not a doubt in my mind that you can rip me apart.” I said, waiting for his reaction.

He’s still pressed against my skin.

“And I’d let you.” I add.

He smirks against my skin, I can feel it.

“You little shit. Come on, get up…” He breathed out, I laugh.

He got off of the bed but I grabbed his hand and pulled him down. I don’t want him to go just yet.

“Nooo…” I whined.

“Ah…” Armie winced when he sat back down on the bed.

“You okay?” I asked him. He made a face when he sat down. He’s hurting somewhere?

“Yeah, I’m just…you know…It’s normal, right?”

He raised his eyebrows. Oh shit, I…I forgot how to react. His ass hurts. What have I done? My ass is fine, but him…

“Oh, right, yeah. It is. Wow…I can’t believe I…”

“What did you expect? I told you L was too small for you…” He smirked.

I’m blushing. 

“Shut up.”

I covered my face with the blanket but he took it off of me when he got up.

“I’m going now. I’ll be in the kitchen. Dress up, you’ll eat and then we’ll shower.” He said with his back turned towards me.

He is indeed walking differently. I’m happy, and proud.

“And then?”

He turned around.

“Whatever you want…that doesn’t involve staying inside…” He stopped and then added the last part.

“Oh, you…” I scoffed.

Armie opened the door and Archie rushed inside and sat down next to the bookshelf.

“Let’s go for a walk.” I suggested.

“Alright.” He agreed. 

“But can we first go for a walk and then shower?” I smirked and bit my lip.

He smiled softly.

“Sure.”

I moped around for the next few minutes and then got up. I found my dirty pajamas on the floor, picked them up, dusted it and put it back on. No underwear. Why bother? We’re gonna shower eventually, might as well gather all the dirt in the world before we wash it all off.

Armie was sitting on a bar stool and was drinking coffee. I sat next to him and ate a little bit of everything that was on the table. My God, I was starving, I didn’t know how much until I began stuffing my mouth with delicious food. 

He’s watching me eat and smiles whenever I’d start choking on food, or whenever something would fall out of my mouth and onto the already dirty pajamas. I was hungry for real, for food that would get into my mouth and stay there, then I’d swallow it and my stomach would thank me by responding on the inside. Apparently, feeding on Armie’s cock, precum and cum was not good enough for my body. If I could only devour him whole…

I continued eating alone while Armie ran off to snoop around some more. I asked him what is he doing and he said that he’s changing the sheets. Oh, finally…I showed him where they were and he managed to make our bed so perfect.

After that, he waited for me to put his dirty sweatpants on that were on the floor, he put his jacket on and attached a leash on Arche’s color. I’m gonna love wearing his clothes, they’re big and baggy on me, but the fact that it was his made me feel special.

“Do we look like we’ve been fucking.” I asked him as I was zipping my jacket.

“Oh yeah.” He smirked. I love this, he did too.

“People are gonna notice.”

“Let them. I want them to notice it.” He said. I believe him.

“Me too.”

We went outside; it was still snowing. Streets were so quiet. Archie was walking all over the place, and we…well…we walked side to side, holding each other. His arm was around my shoulder and mine was on his back. We were close and tight. It was cold, yet, in his arms…it was the warmest place on Earth. 

He’s talking about his first ever time when he saw and played in the snow. I listened to him with everything I had and gently pushed my head on his shoulder, eventually, he put his head on top of mine.

“I love this, Armie.” I said.

“What?”

“Everything.” I said and looked up at him.

“Us, you mean?” He looked down.

This is our relationship, in a nutshell.

“It’s not bad…not bad…”

He chuckled.

People were walking by, some were staring at us and I could read exactly what they were thinking. Some were staring and smiling at us, guess those were sort of happy for us, some weren’t even looking up at all. But Armie never let me go. He held archie in one hand, and me in the other one. I held onto him tightly whenever someone would pass us by. Maybe we walked by someone we know but they never saw us, or were across the street or even behind us. Those who were giving us the look probably smelled us and found out what we did hours prior to this walk. But I didn’t care, because he didn’t care, It was just him and me. Armie was talking non-stop, he was sliding from one subject to the other. He’d talk about meeting a famous footballer when he was on a vacation on the Cayman islands, then he said how some girl mistook him for that same guy he met years ago, he talked about how his brother Ben once babysat Archie and he ended up falling asleep and Archie made a mess out of the whole place. I was just walking next to him, holding him tightly, absorbing every single word he let out. He was smiling the entire time.

I was worried how are we gonna go outside, in the public, like this, holding each other. This was nothing new to me, but he is experiencing this for the first time in his life. He’s used to walking with a woman by his side and nobody would give them the look or throw in a word or two. Armie seemed fine, or didn’t even notice them, or he did, but ignored them, but his attention was 100% focused on me. 

“You okay?” I asked him when we got back to my place.

“About what?” He said, taking his jacket off.

“About people staring?”

“People are always gonna stare. They’re gonna stare at a beautiful girl, at a guy with one leg, at a child that is mentally struggling, at a boy eating ice cream, two people kissing, two women hugging, two guys holding hands…people stare, I stare, you stare…it’s nothing new. I don’t care about them. When we go out, it’s just you and me, nobody else.” Armie seemed like he had a prepared speech about this topic. He thought about it. He came prepared. 

I couldn’t agree more. He is so smart, I love him. I need him. I need someone like him.

We jumped into a shower almost immediately once we stripped down in the hallway. I loved the water, but I hated that he was finally leaving my body. We were making out underneath the hot spray, not touching each other, just kissing each other’s faces, necks and arms. Armie pinned me against the wall as he was rubbing my back, arms and butt from behind. Later on, I raised my body on the tips of my toes and washed his hair, he then washed mine while I was caressing and kissing his chest. When we were done, we were cleaned and ready to go. But where? Nowhere, I guess.

After we were done, he dried me off, my body and hair, and I did the same for him. Armie sat on the toilette so I could reach his hair. While I was drying it, he pulled me closer holding me by my hips and was putting kisses on my chest and stomach. I got a comb and styled his hair. He looked ridiculous and we had a nice laugh when I parted his hair. He sprinkled me with tap water all over my face. We were running around naked and wet like two kids. He’d place me in front of him, my back to his chest, in front of the mirror and it was his turn to make a ridiculous hair style for me. My curls were long and he combed them back, then on one side and then on the other one. We laughed so hard, my stomach was hurting. We then fell silent, just staring at each other in the mirror, he was standing behind me and holding me by my hips. Armie rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Ouch…” I winced when I felt his beard on my skin.

“It’s the beard, right?” He gasped and scratched his jaw. 

“Yeah…it’s poking me just now…after all this time…just now.” I chuckled.

Armie removed himself from me and went to the room. Was he mad? Did I offend him? 

Few seconds later, he came back with a bottle of foam and a razor. He handed me those.

“Do your work kid.” He said. He’s waiting.

“Oh, no…I was just kidding. You don’t need to take the beard off for me…” I extend my hands to give him the stuff back, but he’s not taking them.

“It’ll grow back. I want you to beard me down. It was bothering me too.”

“Okay…if you say so…” I’m nervous, what if I cut him? What if there’s a massive bleeding…I know how to stop it, mom taught us, but still…

I put the foam and razor on a table next to the sink, that’s where we keep all of our stuff. I reached out to get a towel for him and when I turned around, Armie grabbed me underneath the arm pits and raised me to sit on the table. My heart stopped, he is everything. Now I’m the same height as him. Armie filled the sink with water and plugged the drain. 

“I’m nervous…” I said when I wetted the razor and put some foam on my palm.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve shaved yourself before…” He chuckles. It’s like nothing to him. He’s just given me a knife and the permission to destroy his perfect skin.

“Yeah but those are just tiny, little, baby mustaches. I don’t care if I cut myself, but…”

“You’re not gonna cut me. Now hurry up babe, it’s getting cold…” He kissed my forehead and soothed me down.

I covered his face with foam, inhaled, exhaled and began shaving him.

“See…you’re doing just fine.” He said and smiled.

His hands were on my thighs. 

Eventually I relaxed completely. 

I carefully go over his cheeks, chin, underneath the nose with the blade. I never made a single cut. Armie’s eyes were on me the entire time. This is why I was nervous; his eyes were burning through my soul. That’s illegal! I covered the place with the most hair on it.

“I think I’m done.” I said after some time.

Armie washed his face, dried it with a towel I gave him and looked in the mirror. He smiled.

“So fucking good, babe. Good job.” He said and smiled at me.

“Thanks…”

Armie kissed me and put me down.

After that, he dried my hair with a blow dryer, and I did the same for him. We got dressed into new clothes and went to the living room where we chilled and watched a movie. In the middle, my mom called me and I had to take it. We talked for about 5 minutes, she’s coming on Friday evening. I can’t wait to see her. She says that she can’t wait to see me too, and to meet Armie.

Somewhere around 9 pm or so, we ordered take out, and as I was waiting for the food to arrive, Armie took Archie out for a short walk.

We ate, and watched another movie but only half way through. Armie kept on falling asleep every 10 minutes. 

It was close to midnight when I kicked his ass to bed. I told him I set up an alarm for 07:30 in the morning. He was already drifting off, maybe he forgot. 

I went back to the kitchen and the living room and cleaned up the place a little. Victor has been texting me all day, they’re coming home tomorrow evening, just when Armie’s supposed to leave. After I was done with cleaning up the place, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, and minutes later, I joined him underneath the freshly put white blanket and fell asleep next to his body smell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	24. Not alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie agreed to go and get tested and they spend their morning the only way they know how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning loves!! I'm blessing your Sunday with another chapter. I'm writing it one chapter at a time, no rush, trying to do my best to show them exactly how i see them in my imagination. Enjoy it, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know what you think about it in the comments.  
> Happy Sunday! ❤️

I can’t remember the last my alarm freaked the shit out of me as much as it did that morning. I jumped out of my skin like I was on fire and turned it off. Whatever came over me was now a distant memory. I slammed my head back onto the pillow, cursing internally. Nothing I have dreamt about was coming back to me. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter anymore, reality knocked on the door. 

Armie murmured something next to me. He too freaked out when my phone made that awful sound. He yawned and I could hear him grunting, rubbing his face. I turned around to look at him. His eyes were puffy but he still looked so good in the morning. 

He smiled at me, his face was still bloated and beautiful. I love him like this. 

“I’m so tired…” He breathed out.

“Yeah, me too…” I said and uncovered myself to get up.

But Armie had other plans. He pulled me back by my waist and I was lost in his arms. Where did he get the energy from, it was still very early in the morning? The stamina this guy has. I fell back into the warm bubble we created; he kissed my temple, my ear, my cheek, and caressed his face against mine. He’s not letting me go any time soon, but we have to go. I just want to get it over with.

“Armie we have to go…” I said as I’m trying to get out of his grip.

“Not yet.” He breathes out in my neck. It feels so good. 

“Yes, now. Come on…” I’m fiddling with his arms, but they’re just getting tighter around my waist.

“I want you now.” He moaned and bit my ear.

My stomach began dancing, I can feel him smile behind me. He pressed his body against mine from behind, harder with each passing second. I want him too, I really do, but we need to go. I’d let him have me after we finish the test. He’s insatiable, I knew he’d be hooked pretty soon.

“You can want me all day after we finish the test. Come on…” I hate it, but I managed to break out from his embrace.

“Ugh…” Armie grunts into the pillow.

“Hey, you pulled me out of bed yesterday. Now it’s my turn. Get up.” I turned around and told him.

“Teeeeeemmm…” He extended his arms across the bed to get to me.

He’s whining. I love this. I love that he wants me this much.

“Later.”

I said and was on my way to get off the bed.

“When?”

I turned around and bent down to face him. He’s so warm.

“After we come back home. I’ll be yours for as long as you want me, however you want me, in any way you want me…”

He smiled at that and jumped off the bed that very moment. Oh, so now he has the energy to get up.

Later on, he went and got himself dressed up while I stayed and made the bed. Then he went to the bathroom and I was getting dressed.

“Did you make an appointment?” He asked me while brushing his teeth, the door was opened. I couldn’t understand him.

“What?” I frowned while tying my shoes.

He turned around to spit in the sink.

“How are we gonna go there without an appointment?” He said.

“Don’t worry. They’ll let us in. They know me. It’s okay.”

He nodded and proceeded with putting his shoes on.

“How far is it?”

“Few minutes away. We can walk. It’s not that far.” I said and we were on our way out.

It’s cold outside but Armie embraces me again with his arm around my shoulder, and I held his back, just like we did the previous day. There aren’t much people as we’re walking through the streets of the big city. They’re on their way to work, but by car, who is crazy enough to walk on this cold morning to work. The laboratory is 10 minutes away from my apartment. Suddenly, I’m nervous as we’re getting closer, he seemed pretty fine. He talked most of the way there, I was silent. 

After those 10 minutes, we’ve arrived. 

“Good morning.” I said when I opened the door.

“Morning.” Armie spoke behind me.

The nurse, Rene, that has been through all of this with me, walked out of the back. She smiled when she saw me, but I knew her eyes were lost in Armie direction. I don’t blame her.

“Tim, hi! How are you?” She came out and hugged me.

“Good, good.”

I hugged her back.

“Rene, this is Armie…my…um…partner. Boyfriend.” Fuck, I’m so bad at this.

She had a smug on her face.

“Nice to meet you Armie, I’m Rene.” She extended her hand and they shook.

“Hi, Rene.” I watch him smile so lovely at her. I’m not worried one bit. We both know where he belongs now. 

“So…should I ask why you’re here, or…?” She said.

“Don’t bother.” I cut her off.

“Got it.” 

She nodded her head and told us to take our jackets off and went behind the counter to find some papers.

“Well…since this little guy is familiar with the procedure. Armie, I must give you something to fill out, okay? Just regular questions, nothing too hard.” She said.

“Yeah, sure.” 

She handed him the paper with common questions.

“You too, Tim, but you already know the drill…”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Armie stayed close to the counter as he was filling up those questions. I moved in the back and began writing when Rene appeared in front of me.

“He’s really handsome.” She said as I was writing down.

“Yeah. I got lucky.”

I looked up at him, then at her, and then my attention was on the paper again.

“Don’t fool yourself sunshine. He’s the one that’s lucky.” She said and messed up my hair a bit.

That made me smile. Guess it’s mutual.

“At least you’re not alone this time.” She said. That hit so close to home. There wasn’t a bigger sigh of relief other than when he said that he wants us to get tested, and agreed to go with me.

“Yeah…that’s something I guess.”

“How long have you two been together?" She asked while fiddling around with some papers.

“Couple of weeks.”

I said and looked up at her.

“And he never flinched when I suggested the test.” I smiled.

“That’s great.” Rene seemed pretty happy about this. She’s been by my side for over a year now, my rock, she knows better than my family what was I going through.

“We’re going in safe.” I added.

“Smart.” She said, looking pleased, like I was her kid and she was the proud mom.

I continue writing and I heard footsteps behind me. Armie put his hand on my shoulders as he handed Rene the papers.

“Here you go.” He said and smiled.

Oh boy, she’s gonna lose it again.

“Thank you.”

Rene put the papers behind the counter and went around it. Just as she turned around, I was done as well. She put them behind as well.

“Okay, who’s gonna go first?” She asked.

“I’ll do it.” I said. I just want to get it over with.

I turned around to ask Armie to come with me but I didn’t even have to bother and say a thing. He was already following us.

It was pretty quiet and empty for a Monday morning. She was the only one working on this side of the laboratory. She asked us if we ate something in case we get sick from blood and pass out, we didn’t, we hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Rene walked us to a very familiar chair, at least for me, she pulled the metal curtain and we were isolated from the rest of the place. I sat down and pulled up the sleeves of my sweater, I reveled my left arm. She sat opposite me, got the tubes ready, wrote my name on it, wrote what and why was she taking the blood for. She prepared everything, I watched her every move, Armie stood next to me, holding my shoulder. 

“You okay?” He bent down and asked me this.

I nodded. I was lying. Nervousness kicked me pretty soon, I could feel my temple sweating.

Rene put her white gloves on, put the tourniquet, told me to make a fist and made my vein pop out. My God, that vein has been poked so many times before by this same woman, in the same place, same time, same chair, same reason. She cleaned the skin with alcohol and prepared the needle with the little thingy, I had no idea what’s its name but I called it “little umbrella”, Rene loved that name so it became our internal joke. 

I moved my head to the side when I felt her feeling up the vein, and a second later, I felt the pinch. She’s so good at what she does I barely felt any type of pain, nothing more than a mosquito bite. Armie was silent and still squeezing my shoulder, this thumb was caressing my neck gently, at least he stayed here. 

I felt like crying. 

A year ago, I was going through all of this by myself, and now I couldn’t be more grateful. Last year, as I went alone and fought this on my own, I was scared that that’s gonna be the life I was gonna face if the results would show a positive sign. Alone. On my own. With nobody to look at me, nobody to touch me in a way that I want and need to be touched. I was so into this entire scenario in my head, as I was waiting for the results, that I already found what I was gonna do, where I was gonna live, what my job was gonna be, how I'm gonna make friendships and relationships. I’d have to work some light, desk job, nothing too stressful, so I’d have plenty of time to be with my dogs, yes dogs, since I wouldn’t be able to have a child of my own, or at least make one, or even adopt one, since I doubt any adoption agency would want to give a child to a person with the scariest infectious decease; I could cut myself and that child, while its immune system is still developing, could get infected in any way possible by me…I’d move to a place on a country side, away from people, I want a big back yard for my dogs to run as I sit on a porch and drink tea and read a good book; I’d take walks for hours, regretting ever letting a man in my bed, especially someone who wasn’t on a good name around the school, thinking about how my life could’ve been different if we were to just stop and use a latex protection. I'd go to meetings regarding the illness, I'll meet a friend there, he/she will be my support. As for the relationship part…I can either sleep with someone who also has it but the protection is a must, or I can sleep with someone and not tell them and still use protection. No, that's juts plain cruel and evil. I don't see why a sick person can't have a normal life with the illness. Maybe I'm fooling myself. All these things ran through my mind within the 72 hours while I was waiting for the results. I just know that if it said negative, nothing would change, nothing, I’d continue this life style, only use protection constantly, but then I’d have doubts about the false negative results. If it were to say positive, I’d wait for couple of days, tell my family, finish high school, start working online just to save up some money so I could travel and move there, find my own place, find a job, get a car, get my dogs. That was the plan.

And then it said negative. I ran out of there crying and laughing the entire way back home. I’ve done three other tests in the following months just to be sure, I knew I didn’t have it, but three pieces of paper that said negative are more better than one. 

All of these things ran through my mind while I was getting my blood drawn with Armie’s hand on my shoulder. I know I don’t have it. But what if he does. What then? How will he take it? Will he stay with me or isolate himself like I planned to do with myself a year ago? Will he regret ever sleeping with some girl that had it? Will he be afraid to touch me, kiss me, make love to me, be in the same room as me, afraid of getting me infected by any way, that is, if he’s even positive and decides to stay with me? I'd stay with him even if he has is. We'll use protection, nothing has to change. This is a dangerous thing, our lives are at stake. I’ve read people’s stories with the decease, and they’re…good. Apart from having the virus inside them and taking a handful of medications, their lives are pretty much normal, minus the relationship, sex and love part, sometimes even people with family and kids might get it after they got married or made the family life. They live a normal life, again, except for the virus and pills part. 

“Open your fist.” Rene said and I listened to her. Then she removed the tourniquet.

Soon after that I felt the wet cotton on my skin.

“You’re all done, kiddo.” She said and I heard her disposing the needle and removing her gloves.

I looked over at her, then at the cotton, it’s over. She filled two tubes with my name on it. Now it’s all in her hands, my work here is done. 

I stood up, Armie’s hand was still on me.

“Get ready, Armie.” She said but he was still not letting me go.

“You did good, kid.” He muttered against my temple and kissed it. I smiled at that.

This was all too fast for me to follow and process. 

“You know what to do…don’t…” She started, but I learned a thing or two here from this lady.

“…don’t bend the elbow, the vein might pop and I might get a big blue bruise on it. Got it.” I continued instead. 

She smiled and winked at me.

Armie let go of me, sat down, pulled up his sleeve and watched her prepare the essentials. 

Rene got ready for him like she did for me; two tubes, little umbrella with a needle in it, turnicate, gloves, cotton soaked in alcohol. Armie didn’t need to make a fist, his veins were popping with the turnicate only. I stood behind him, still holding the cotton on the spot. Everything was done within 20 seconds.

“All done, boys.”

She was 7 years older than Armie, yet we were her boys. I smiled to myself when I thought of it.

“The results are gonna be ready in three days.” She said as she was putting away the stuff she used to take our blood with. 

I asked her if she could band-aid us instead of holding it like this. Rene did just that and we rolled our sleeves down and went to put our jackets back on.

She hugged me on a way out, didn’t even need to soothe me like every other time, saying that it’s gonna be okay and that I'm negative. She and Armie shook hands again and we were off. everything was over, and over so fast. At least I wasn’t alone this time. Going alone to a place like this one can really…fuck a person up.

The first thing I did when we stepped outside, I grabbed his entire face and raised my body so I could kiss his forehead. I felt like kissing the skin of his forehead so much.

“Thank you…” I whispered against his cheek.

Armie held me by my waist and we were off. He never said anything to me thanking him, I wouldn’t want him to do it, neither did he. At that point, what could he possibly say to this? Absolutely nothing. He just held me by his side as we were headed back home. Again, Armie had other plans. Instead of making a turn and heading back to my place, we went over the cross walk, I followed him, he was up to something.

“Come on, let me buy you coffee. You look like you need to cool it down a bit.” He said. 

I love that he knows me so well. So I let him take me to Mud. It was crowded, but I waited for him as he was getting our coffees to go. After that, we went home. It took us now longer than it did to get to the lab. We drank the coffee and talked about our plans for this week. Armie and I have been inseparable for the past five days, it’s gonna be weird without him now. I was already getting used to sleeping next to him, waking up next to him, hearing his voice in the morning, feeling his lips on me as soon as I were to open my eyes. I’m gonna miss him. Chill, he's only 10 minutes away. 

Halfway there, Armie took two cigarettes out, put them both between his luscious lips and lit them. He handed me one without even asking me. I love how he knows what I need and when I need it. He deserves to be rewarded, I did promise him something half an hour ago. He’s gonna get it soon.

We walked and talked, drank our coffees and smoked cigarettes on our way back home. Once we reached the apartment, Armie took Archie out, and in the mean time, I took my jacket off, my socks off and the cotton with the band aid on it, I threw it all away. I moved Archie’s bowls in my room, filled them up with water and food and patiently waited for them to come back. I also took the essentials with me.

Armie came back after 10 minutes and just as he walked in, I took the leash from his hand, freed Archie and lured him into my bedroom. I closed the door.

Armie seemed confused but never said anything. We both knew what this meant.

I latched myself onto him, already grinding and dry humping his thigh, biting onto his jaw, while he was struggling with his jacket. Soon, it was off, so were his shoes, his sweater and his jeans, I took my shirt off and both my boxers and jeans, I was naked. When he saw me, he took his boxers as well. The thrill made us both hard so much.

Armie pulled me by my hair and crushed our lips together, I could feel his teeth pressing my lips.

“This is why you locked my dog up?” He breathed out into my lips.

“He’ll be fine.”

He laughed it out and continued kissing me. Now we’re touching skin to skin, chest to chest, he bent down so I could reach him, I hung myself around his neck, I’m never letting go. I need him and want him.

I pulled away from him and grabbed the condom and the lube. Armie pulled my hand and slammed me against the wall. Now he’s getting in my face and I start to realize I have no fucking idea who this beast is but I sure as hell want to find out.

“Turn around…” His voice sounds harsh, I want to obey him forever.

I do it immediately, unscrewing the bottle of lube while he’s tearing the package. Armie grunts when he rolls the condom on. I hand him the bottle and he poured some on his fingers and the condom. And before I knew what was happening, Armie pushed a finger inside me while pressing himself behind me.

I yelped so loud, tears began gathering in the corners of my eyes. He rotates the finger and I lose it completely. I feel his forearm in front of me, cupping my neck as he slammed his body against mine and pushed his finger so deep inside of me. Soon afterwards, another finger joins the party and I couldn’t help but bite into the skin of his arm that was holding my neck. Now he’s fucking me with just his fingers, at a speed he knows I like, while choking me, not giving me space to live, or air to inhale. Just like I love it. My legs are about to lose their function if this doesn’t escalate any time soon. We are seriously gonna fuck against the wall, aren't we? 

“Armie…I need you…now…please…feels so good mmm…” I moaned into his grip while pushing my pelvis backwards to meet him. 

“You need me? You want me to fuck you, babe, is that it?” His voice is so foreign to me, especially while he's moaning against my ear. 

“Yes, please…”

Armie smirks behind me, I can feel it. 

“You’ve been so good, here it comes…”

Fingers are out and I feel him push inside me in one long go, he’s not stopping. I’m sobbing now, losing my own sense of reality. My body has completely fallen into Armie's strong arms. He’s strong enough to catch me as I'm falling. I can’t breathe, I can’t see, all I can do is feel him stretching me, ripping me apart as he’d pounding inside of me much more faster than he did 24 hours ago. He saw how much I can take it and he’s giving it now to me. I love that he knows me so well. His arm is still around my neck but soon it releases me and now I can finally brace up against the wall. I don't have anything to hold on to. Armie’s moaning next to my ear, squeezing my hips, keeping me in one spot while he’s brutally fucking my brains out. 

“Turn around, Tim…” He breathes out and I need a second to compose myself before facing him.

I’m trying to catch my breath, still crying and sweating. I turn around to face him and Armie scoops me in his arms and carries me across the living room on the way to the couch. It's like he can't even feel my weight in his arms. My God, this is so dirty and disgusting, it’s where people sit and lie around…I love it. Do me here now, Armie! 

He attaches his lips to mine now that we’re about the same height. Armie put me gently on the couch, spreads my legs on his shoulders and enters me again. This is all coming down too quickly, too much, too early, too dirty, too perfect…I can’t choose how I feel, I’m just gonna let him destroy me and my body, then I’ll think about it. He’s so big, and fast, my hole is for sure burning up. I’m touching myself for the first time, and when I did, it sent a very strong electrical shiver all over my body that made me go numb, deaf and dumb for couple of minutes. I’m giving myself to him; arching my back and twisting my pelvis in the rhythms of him pounding so deep inside of me. This is our third time having sex and we’re already doing this. Wonder what more are we gonna discover if we head this way. 

Armie’s looking down at me, biting his lips, he’s frowning, panting, moaning loudly, his messy hair is getting into his eyes. I’m way too wiped to even think, I just follow my instincts; it feels so good so I moan and scream his name, even sob sometimes, I want more of it so I push back down on his cock, meeting him half way but that’s impossible, I want to pleasure myself, so I touch my cock, faster and faster. I can’t believe how good Armie makes me feel. He makes me so happy and satisfied. If he wants it all, he can have it, I’m here to do anything he wants of me, anything he wants with me. I will not say no, just ask a question, if I don’t answer just know that I’m already on board with it.

I began sobbing again, this time, I couldn’t control myself; I am so happy, I want this moment to last. Nothing compares to this feeling; the feeling of having sex with someone you love and who loves you. The feeling of connecting with someone on that level that you don't need words to tell what the other one is thinking about. The feeling of that certain someone knowing your sweet spots, knowing your body and skin like their own, knowing exactly what to do, when to do it and how to do it. I'm crying because i don't want this to end, i want to keep him between my legs forever. Don't leave me Armie, don't, please! 

Armie will not let me cry on my own. My eyes are closed and filled with tears, but I just know that he’s looking down at me, absorbing this mess he's made. Not even a second later, Armie's lips are already on mine; he’s kissing me gently, much slower than he’s moving inside of me. But eventually that evens out and he slows the rhythm down and is following the path of the function of his lips. I can feel him kissing my cheeks, nose, eyes, licking away my tears. He’s breathing a hot air into my mouth as I’m trying to come to my senses; this is my oxygen now. Armie’s now moving brutally slow inside of me, I didn’t even realize I stopped touching myself until his hand cupped my cock, and his other hand was holding my head.

“Don’t cry baby…I love you, love you so much, you’re so beautiful, you have no idea…” Armie's voice is so soft and quiet, it’s like he’s not the same person that is destroying me on the other end.

I’m so numb, I can’t even put a sentence together.

“Armie…I…you…” I sound like an idiot. 

“I know, I know.”

He kisses me again, with tongue. I slowed down my breathing, inhaling, exhaling only when he does.

“Am I hurting you? Do you want to stop?” He gasps into my lips.

“No! Please…harder…please Armie, I want to come…”

Not only does he listen to me and goes harder, put from that angel, he might’ve managed to brush against my prostate without even knowing it. I think it was that, because then I started trembling in one spot and arching my back uncontrollably. 

“I’m gonna…ah…” I can’t even finish my sentence. What is this place, where am I? 

He takes my cock away from me and jerks me off until I feel my own juices splatter all over my stomach and chest. I’m still a sobbing mess. I can hear him smile above me…I open my eyes. It was like a wave of wind rushed through my body. Guess whatever I had that was keeping me in that place where I was unable to speak, see, hear and breathe…it’s now gone. I’m back, I’m feeling so good again, so ready, so sick. I want to share this with him.

I want him to experience it all.

“Armie? Are you close?” 

“Yeah…” He breathes out and kissed my foot that was still lazily hanging on his shoulder.

I grabbed his face into my hands.

“Stop…stop right now. Take me to the shower, please…” I add.

He pulled out immediately. I miss him again, already. 

“You got It babe…”

Armie scooped me again like I was as light as a feather and carried me to the bathroom. Once we were there and stepped into the shower cabin, he closed the door and I let hot water fall on us.

“Face the wall and brace yourself.” Now I’m the confident one.

Armie’s facial expression changed, I could read that he was indeed surprised by my reaction and what and how I said it. He obeys me and turns to face the wall, hands spread next to his head.

“I’m gonna make you come so hard right now.” I speak and bite the skin on his shoulder.

I start kissing him between his shoulder blades and I move south more and more until I reach my destination. I kneel in front of him and stare at his butt cheeks, they’re white and full of muscles, it’s meaty and I can’t wait to start.

“Armie? You know what rimming is?” I ask him, smirking up at him.

“No, ah…no…” He breathes out.

He has no idea what he’s in for. 

I don’t wait for a second longer, i spread his butt cheeks and dived in with my tongue inside.

“Fuuuuck! Tim! Jesus…mmm…”

It’s wet and slippery, he smells like the shower gel we use. But beyond that, it’s his smell, he tastes so good. It has to be because he lost his virginity 36 hours ago, and no matter the number of showers he took, this smell is gonna stay with him.

Armie reached behind and tugged my hair. He was shivering, I wanted to go deeper, I wanted to breach him with my tongue because he tasted so good and the noise he kept making were getting me hard again. 

I’m licking his hole, the ring of It, as much as he’d let me, the rim, biting his butt cheeks from time to time, but I’m mostly focused only in the center. He tried squirming a couple of times, but I squeeze his butt cheeks and kept him there.

“Tim…so good…ah, ah…” Now he’s the one falling apart, I love it. 

I can hear him fiddle with something; he took the condom off, tied it and threw it on the floor of the shower cabin. We’ll take care of that later. Right now, he’s my priority. He’s loving this so much, I love listening to him fall apart in my mouth. Armie’s now touching himself faster, moaning even louder, and meanwhile, I’m still trying to breach him deeper. I wanted to push a finger inside but I’d rather save that for later. 

“Tim, oh my Go-od, I’m gonna come…fuuuck…”

I stood up and cupped his cock with my hand; now we’re both working him out. Our eyes are glued together and I can’t move them. Armie opened his mouth, hissed and moaned out that he’s coming. I squeeze his cock and jerk him off until he reached his orgasm. He painted the tiles inside the cabin with his semen. It was so strong, he had to move to the corner of the cabin as to not lose the function in his legs.

That’s when I realized that he still had the cotton and band aid on his arm. Weird, the water didn’t get it off. 

I rushed to kiss him, cupping his cock to milk everything out. 

“Fuck, Armie…that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, my God…” I moan into the kiss. All he did was grunt out some curse words. 

He’s done, there is no use. I’m so happy I could cry, Armie’s still getting over what just happened. It might take some time. But we’re in no rush. I turn the water off, thinking how we might need it for later, but we probably won’t. He slides down and sits on the floor of the cabin and I join the party, sitting next to him and kissing his shoulder. 

I closed my eyes and wished for this moment to last forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	25. Pouring out his soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their morning continues. They have the talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves!! Here's the next chapter, i didn't want to wait. I'm already working on the next one. Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know what you think about it in the comments! Have a great day❤️

We stayed on that bathroom floor because none of us felt like getting up any time soon. Armie was still silent, sitting next to me, this silence was a positive one, we were still getting over what just happened and what we did. He was still getting over the fact that he's been having the best sex of his life for the last couple of days. I opened my eyes and exhaled. Armie was still sitting next to me, he was staring at something in front of him, he looked like he was deep in his mind. I took his hand in mine and turned to look at him.

“Armie, you okay?” I asked him silently, trying not to sound so worried. Nothing good can come out of someone staring at something, can it?

“Yeah…just…give me a minute. Please?” He’s not looking at me. This is starting to scare me. Why is he silent? Why is he staring? Why isn’t he talking to me?

“Yeah, sure, anything.” I have my doubts, but I let him be for a while.

I turn to look in front of me, still holding his hand in mine, caressing the skin with my thumb. Not two seconds later, Armie snorts, and my eyes are back at him. Oh my God, he’s crying. Why is he crying? Did he not like it? Was I too rough? Is he in pain? Is he gonna bail now after everything? After the test, and sex and shower?

“Why are you crying?” I ask him, moving my body closer to him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and wiped his tears with the other hand. This is freaking me out? Am I the problem? Of course I am, there’s no one else.

“Did I hurt you? Was that too much, too soon…I just wante-…”

“No, you idiot. You did not hurt me. I’m just…” He chuckled through tears.

Now he’s looking down at his legs, still crying. He’s not done. I want to give him time.

“...overwhelmed I guess. I’ve never done this before. And I regret it now.” He said. 

My heart stopped. I’m gonna have a panic attack. He regrets it.

“Regret? Sleeping with me?”

He frowned and smiled. Now he has turned to look at me.

“No, you idiot, God…I regret not doing this sooner. It feels so good. I’m constantly happy, Tim, that’s not something I’m used to.”

Oh phew! This idiot almost gave me a heart attack. I breathed out of relief. 

“See…I grew up thinking that a specific kind of life is a good and a normal life. You know, go to school, finish school, get a job, meet a nice girl, marry her, have kids, watch your kids grow up and when they leave home, you’re left with a wife with whom you didn’t have a good relationship ever since the kids were born. That’s how I started. I finished a good school and I have a good job. In the meantime, there were many girls who looked like they could be the future mrs Armie Hammer but none of them came close. It’s a cowardly move, but when I see the relationship not working, I just pull back, I go cold, I stop talking, that’s how I’ve broken up two of my relationships.”

I’m listening to him. This is called a script of life. And no one is required to follow it, unless there’s someone out there pressuring you. That is why I am the way that I am.

“But then you came along. You were free and happy, beautiful and so sexy, so smart, so funny…I wanted more. And you gave me more. And I’m grateful, beyond grateful, Tim. You…made me question myself, so much, that the second I walked out of that bakery, I thought “What would my life look like if I just…let go?”, and now I let go completely. There’s nothing normal about that specific life I’ve been nurturing in my head for years. My job is not a good job, it’s an excellent one, I love it, I think I might be the only idiot that loves his job this much. I love everything about it, I love the classes, I love my students, I love to teach…and then you’re here, with me, by my side. I am so excited about us, to see where we’re headed, to see what the future holds for us.”

This new Armie needs to kill the old Armie and bury him so deep underneath the ground. We don’t need him anymore, we don’t know who this guy is. All I know is that this Armie, that is sitting next to me, holding my hand, pouring his life out, is the one that I love and would do anything for him.

“I regret not taking my head back to when I was 17 years old, when I kissed a dude. I think I might’ve been more careless if I did, instead of letting everything bubble up inside me for a decade. With you, I feel absolutely nothing; no shame, no regret, never have I thought this was all a mistake. The mistake was not exploring when I was younger. This just feels so right. I feel like I’m too late with the whole…getting to know who you really are and realizing stuff about myself.” He breathed out and i wiped his tears with my thumb. 

“It’s never too late, Armie. There are people who are older than you and still let it pile up inside them.” I wanted to give him the biggest hug ever. I feel sorry that he feels this way. There is absolutely no reason to think that he’s late to the party. I believe, Armie and I, we happened at a right time, at the right place, for the greatest of reasons. We were two lost and wondering souls that spent our whole lives looking for each other, and the fact that it happened eventually, proves that we were meant to be a very long time ago. We just needed to be at that bakery, at the same time, in the same mindset. 

“I know it’s not. But where I grew up, and where I brought girls as my partners…attitudes are gonna change now that I’m with a guy. And I love being with a guy.”

I’m shocked. Are we really talking about this now?

“I love you so much, my heart hurts, I’m so happy, I’ve never been this happy before. You make me feel so good, so wanted, so desirable, so sexy, I can’t explain…next to you, I feel like I’m worth something, I feel like I can speak up and take on the world. I feel safe with you, I feel…everything. And you being so good to me, taking your time with me, guiding me, that means the world to me. And now you’re here, sitting on the floor of the tiled bathroom where is getting colder by the minute, holding my hand, checking up on me…I’m so fucking lucky that I found you.”

I smile at him. Our eyes are locked. Tears are now streaming down my face as well.

“I regret not doing this sooner, but now that I have…I am so glad it’s with you.” He added and brought his face closer to mine. 

“I worship you Armie.” I breathe out and go in to kiss him. What i feel for him, it's more than love. 

This kiss was so different than the others. Maybe now that we’ve gotten through this, another layer of his insecurities has been peeled off, and we can function better. It felt so good, his lips were so soft and it felt like I could drown in them.

“Let’s get out. My ass is killing me.” He said after we parted.

We laughed together and I got up first. When I did, I turned around and offered him a hand. He took it. We both looked at each other at that moment and realized that no matter what, I’m gonna be there for him and always offer him a hand. No questions asked.

Armie took the condom with him and threw it in the trash bin. I took two towels and handed him one and he dried my body with it, then my hair, and then I did the same with the towel in my hands. 

Once we opened the bedroom door, we found Archie sleeping on the bed. All of this felt way too real; the baby was sleeping and the parents were having sex in the next room. 

As we were dressing up, I turned around to ask him something.

“Would you mind telling me now about your family?” I asked.

He didn't look shocked, he knew this was coming. 

“Guess it’s my turn now, huh?”

I nodded.

“Didn’t I just sum it up?”

“What?” I frowned.

“It’s easy, as you can see…my family, especially my mother, would never accept me being with a guy. Never. Her religion, church, God, I don’t know what else wouldn't let her son being a sinner and mentally ill…it’s a sin, I've heard it all before, it's annoying right now. I’ll burn in hell, those were her words.” He said. Armie looked pretty sad when he was telling me this. 

“What do you mean?” I asked him as I was putting on my boxers. 

“You are the only one that knows about my first kiss with a guy, literally nobody knew. Him, you and me, that’s it, no one else. And after it all went down, maybe 4 or 5 days later, I was still going through a process of questioning everything and even wanted to tell my mom what should I do, because I was confused as fuck. That day, when I was so close to telling her, I was at her place with my brother, and we were watching a movie, and there was a scene where…two guys kissed. She changed the channel so quickly, and she threw in a few words, calling them names, saying what she thinks and feels about them. Then she turned around to look at Ben and myself and said, and I quote “If you end up with a guy, you’re banned from this family. It’s a sin. You’ll burn in hell for all eternity. God created our bodies and God wants us to connect our bodies with opposite genders, two people with the same set of genitalia don’t work, it will never work. It’s sick, and whoever has feelings for someone of their look alike, they’re mentally deficient. They’ll rot in hell.”, end quote. Those were her words.” He tried to smile as to look like he’s screwed. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve heard it all before. Not changing my mind.

“Jesus…” I breathe out.

Armie sat on the bed and I joined him. I was petting Archie while he was still sleeping. 

“Yeah…I let it get to me back then, but as I got older, I sort of…forgot what she said, and I was focused on finding a girl. Maybe those words were hanging all over the place, without me even knowing about it. And then I saw you, and thought…”Sorry mom, guess we won’t be seeing each other when we die.”, and that was it.”

I chuckled. He did as well. He managed to turn this awful situation into something funny.

“You didn’t have to give up on your family because of me.” I said.

“Oh no, it wasn’t because of you. It was because of me. I was sick and tired of keeping these feelings at bay. They were nothing but bad news for me. So I let them out, I freed them, and here I am. Not a single regret, remorse, shame…nothing, Tim, hey, nothing. I love who I am, I love who I love. If she won’t accept it, fine, she can disown me, we don’t need to talk. But I’d rather be opened about my sexuality and let her blat all over me, rather than suffering internally how I must fulfill specific shoes she has for me. I’m done with suffering and hiding my feelings, I'm done with hiding who i really am. It’s not worth it. But this, us, this…life style…oh yeah…I’m in.”

He held my hand. I can see that he thought about all of this very clearly. 

We proceeded dressing up in silence. Nothing has to change, I just hate that he grew up with the people who’d condemn him for feeling differently. He’s brain washed. 

“How did your mom take it? When you told her you were with a guy?” He asked me, out of the blue. I think I already told him this before.

“She took it pretty well actually. Her motive in life is to just be alive, healthy and happy, no matter who we love. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there were problems, only because she didn’t like Miles as a person, even before we were together. She stood by my side when we broke up. She likes you, she can’t wait to meet you. “

I wish Armie had a mom like me. Nicole is gonna be smitten with this dude.

“Lucky you, babe. I can’t wait to meet her too.”

I got myself dressed and I went over to him and hugged him. He seemed to be confused as to why now all of a sudden, but he hugged me back. 

“I am so sorry you had to grow up in that kind of environment. With people who taught you to think like that.” I whispered against his neck.

“It’s okay…now. Now that I’m a grown up, it doesn’t really matter. I have my own life, I should create it the way I want it.”

“You’re right.”

We kissed and went back to the living room.

All of our clothes were scattered all over the place. It felt like we had sex hours ago. When I checked what time it was, it was only 11 am. Wow, I felt like it was even past noon. We cleaned up the mess and talked about breakfast. We should really eat something. 

The fridge was full so we had so many different options. 

After breakfast, I was left to clean the dishes and Armie took Archie out. When he got back I asked him how is he and if he wants to talk about it some more?

“No need. I got everything out.” He said and kissed my forehead.

Why do I feel like there’s still more to it? He’ll tell me with time.

This was also the last day Armie would be staying with me. When he leaves…it’s gonna be strange. I got used to him and to us doing everything together. He’s not bothering me, I don’t hate sharing everything with him.

Later on, I pulled out a big box with our baby pictures and we sat down and looked through every single one. He was a giggling mess whenever he’d see a picture when I was a baby. It’d warm his heart, like he said. I'm so glad he's smiling so much, after everything. 

After that, we lied around some more and continued the movie from the previous night. And then my phone rang.

It was Victor.

“Sorry…pause it.” I told Armie.

“Sure.”

“Hello?” I said.

“Hey bro, what are you doing?”

“Nothing, just…hanging out with Armie.” I looked his way, he smiled.

“Figured. Hey listen, we’re on our way back. We’re gonna be there in an hour, maybe less. Just to let you know.”

Fuck. No. 

“Oh, okay. I thought you said you’d come back tonight.” I said and felt like losing hope already.

“Yeah, I know, but Jules got a call from work that she needs to come in at 9 am instead of 3 pm.”

“That sucks.” It really did.

“It does. So, um…maybe in like 45 minutes, you should call and order a pizza for the four of us.”

“Yeah, it’s a deal. I’ll call them…” I nodded.

“Thanks bro, see you soon.”

“Later!”

And I hung up. Fuck. I hate this. This is gonna shorten our time together.

“They’re coming home in an hour.” I said, I’m pissed. Yes, I missed my brother and all, but I really had hoped we’d get more time to ourselves.

“Shit…” He muttered.

“I know. I’ll call and order something for us to eat. You don’t have to leave at all, they won’t bother us.” I told him and lied back down in his arms to watch the rest of the movie.

“I know babe, but I should really head home after we eat. I need a lot of stuff to look over before tomorrow.”

“Ah noooo…” I whined looking up at him.

“I know, I know…”

He breathed out into my hair. I hate this. But I love that he hates it as well.

“I’m glad we had the talk.” He said after some time. 

I paused the movie.

“Me too…”

We smiled at each other, shared a kiss and continued watching the movie. 

Later on, I ordered the pizza, and 25 minutes after I called, Jules and Victor walked through the door.

We all hugged and kissed. I think Jules might have shaken up a bit when Armie hugged her. I saw that she had no idea what to do with her hands and was kind of lost when they parted. Girl, same…

Pizza arrived and we all sat down and ate. These two talked about where they were and how it all went. Jules was showing a bunch of pictures. She showed them to Armie first and then to the rest of us, that is, me. I told them that Armie’s been staying here for days. Hence, the dog and doggy stuff. 

It was around 7 pm when we finally left the table. Armie pulled me into my bedroom and closed the door behind us. He pushed me onto the bed and got on top of me the same second. I was giggling the entire time but when I felt his lips on mine, and his crotch pushing between my legs, I drew silent. 

“Armie…we can’t…with them…next door…” I breathed every word out while he was sucking the skin on my neck.

“I know. We’re not. I’m just taking this on for the road.” He moaned into the wet skin.

“Oh, fuck you. Don’t say it like that.”

Victor called for me from the living room. Whatever it was, it can wait, but he kept on calling for me. We both grunted. He got up and let me walk out of the room a complete mess. I must’ve been blushing, my hair was messy and I was starting to grown hard in my pants.

“What’s up?” I was so done.

“Hey, I was wondering if you’d want for us to go in a few days to get something for mom.”

We always go out and buy her something whenever she's in town. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. When?”

“Wednesday? After my exam.” He said.

“Okay, okay.”

I went back and saw that Armie began folding his clothes and piling them.

“Nooooo…please…” I sprung across the bed. I wanted to destroy the pile of clothes and keep him here forever. 

“Listen. How about you wait for me tomorrow after work. I’ll come and pick you up, drive us back to my place. You can sleep over and go meet your brother on Wednesday afternoon. We’d have the rest of tomorrow to ourselves, the entire night and the morning on Wednesday.” He suggested.

I got up immediately. I love this.

“Aren’t you working on Wednesday?” I asked him.

“I am, but I’m going in very early, so you should still be asleep when I finish. And if I don’t, wait for me, don’t leave. I’ll fill the fridge so you wouldn’t have to worry about food. I'll show you where things are.”

I’m stunned. I can’t stop smiling. We’re just looking for a place where we can be all by ourselves.

“Okay?”

I nodded and latched onto him to kiss him. He kissed me back and continued inhaling my scent by burying his nose in my hair.

Armie left half an hour later. He packed everything and put it in his car, Archie was already settled in the back. He pushed me inside the hallway and kissed me again. It’s like when lovers are saying goodbye forever. That’s how it felt. Chill, you’ll see him in 12 hours or so.

“I’ll call you tomorrow when I finish so you can just come downstairs.” He whispered against my ear as he was pushing his crotch into mine.

“Okay, yeah.” I breathe out. He’s making a mess out of me again.

“Call you later?”

I nodded. He’s still trying to dry hump me this way.

“Armie, if you keep on going like this, I might just jump into your car and repeat…” I start and smirked at that.

“Okay, I’m gone, get off…” He pulled away from me and was on his way to his car. I laughed so loudly when he just left me there.

“Love you!” I raised my voice and smiled at him, not caring who could’ve heard me. I was waving his way.

“Love you too kid!” He winked at me and before I could sum everything up, he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	26. Opening my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy has do get used to being without Armie for couple of hours. Of course, he doesn't take that lightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves!! I made a little break of not posting for one day. I'm already working on the next chapter. I'm really excited. Here's today's chapter, enjoy it, hope you'll like it. As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments! ❤️

After Armie left, I began feeling nauseous about being alone. I’m only gonna be on my own until the next morning, I really need to chill sometimes. He is right, i love being dramatic, but this time, it's serious. 

Back upstairs, these two were unpacking, throwing their stuff into a washing machine, repeating their stories how amazing it was and how it sucks that they had to come home so early. I was already bored, walking around the place, eating more of the leftover pizza, listening to them. 

Once Victor and I were alone and Jules went to take a shower, he finally brought it up.

“So um…you two…did you…?” His voice was low and he was choosing his words carefully.

I nodded. I smiled as well.

“Nice, bro. Glad to hear that.” He had a massive grin on his face.

I smiled again.

“What’s wrong? You don’t look happy.” He asked. I looked up.

“I’m just sad that he’s gone.” I replied.

“Oh, Jesus, you’ll see him tomorrow.”

“I know, I know. I got so used having him around.”

Victor got up and started making us coffee. I needed a cigarette instead. I think I have some ever since that party when Dan gave me four and I smoked two. 

“Yeah…get used to that too bro. I still ache whenever Jules and I are apart. It’s been years but I don’t think it ever goes away. You know how people say that after 5 years of being together, the love is gone and now you’re together because you’re used to each other? I doubt that will happen to us.” 

I don’t remember ever hearing my brother being this sensitive on this topic. He’s a very closed person and you can’t really read his emotions on his face, but this, now…I couldn’t believe it.

“You two are goals.” I giggled.

“I know.”

I scoffed. He proceeded making us coffee.

“Is he good to you?” He turned around and asked me.

I’m trying to find the exact words to explain how perfect Armie is to me, and overall, but I just can’t. Saying yes is not enough, not enough, not even close to the truth. Those words are not coming out of my mouth, but instead, I felt my eyes watering up. That’s where they were coming out.

“There are no words…” I replied instead, and smiled.

Jules was still showering, her coffee was ready. Victor and I were sitting on the bar stools and were talking. Mostly him, they were still under the influence of their trip. I’m glad they had fun. 

“Hey, you know who I ran into?” He’s not gonna like this.

“Who?”

“Miles.”

Victor stopped drinking his coffee and looked at me. Oh, he seemed pissed.

“That jerk.” He hissed.

“Yeah…”

“What happened?” He crossed his arms on his chest and asked me.

“I was at a party and he was there, he started attacking me, begging me to get back together with him, he tried to kiss me and all, but I ran off just in a nick of time.”

I could see that he was relieved when I told him that nothing happened and that I escaped. 

“Were you alone?”

“Yup…but I called Armie to pick me up as soon as I ran away from him.”

He was happy that I called Armie in the end.

“You okay?” He asked eventually.

“Mhm…I was drunk and terrified. But I’m okay now.”

I don't need to relive that night. 

“Good. I never liked that jerk.” He said.

The fact that my own brother didn’t like him…made it all way too obvious for me. And now he's so good with Armie and to him. 

Jules came out eventually, saying how there isn’t more hot water left. Of course there wasn’t. 

After spending hours with them, talking and laughing, I went back to my room and saw that I had two missed calls. One from mom, the other one from Armie. It was 11:30 pm, she’s probably asleep. But I knew Aarmie wasn’t, so I called him. As I was waiting for him to answer, I heard Jules and Victor saying how they’re gonna head to bed. I wished them a good night and told them that I’m gonna be at Armie’s tomorrow and that I’m gonna sleep there. 

“Hey…” His voice appeared on the other end. It was soft.

“Sorry I couldn’t call sooner…”

“It’s okay.”

“I was with these two in the living room, didn’t hear the phone.” I said.

“I figured. So what’s up?”

“Nothing. I miss you.” Straight to the point. I hate being away from him.

He chuckled.

“Ah, I miss you too…I’ll see you in 12 hours, okay?” Armie added.

“Okay, okay. But how am I gonna sleep now without you here? I don’t have anything big and warm and hairy to snuggle up against.”

“You just described a yeti.” He chuckled. 

“I did…”

We both laughed so loudly. And even continued laughing once we thought we were done. His voice over the phone was even more sexy. 

And then it all went to silence.

“How about I give you something so you could sleep better?” He breathed out. His voice was now rough.

“Oh, and what’s that?” I bit my lip. I know exactly what he meant but I needed him to say it out loud.

“Hop in the bed.” Armie said.

“One second sir.”

I said and got my earphones. I uncovered the blanket, got fully naked and made myself comfortable in between two pillows. One of which still smelled like him. I was hard again.

“You ready?” He breathed out.

“Yes sir.” I said and grabbed my cock. Shivers ran down my spine when I felt myself. It was either because I referred to him as sir or because I touched myself.

“Oh, I like it when you call me that.” Armie moaned.

“Yeah? You wanna know what I like?” I said licking my lips and stroking faster.

“Tell me…”

“Me, walking into your office, locking the door, getting naked, sitting on your lap, obeying you in any way you need me to…sir…” Stroking faster. I’m quiet because these two were asleep three doors down. They were dead tired from their trip so I counted on their tiredness not to hear a single thing.

“Oh, yeah baby, continue…”

I continued telling him how hard I wish to ride him, while he’s still sitting in his office chair, and he’s still wearing his suit on, he’d only unzip them and pull his massive cock out. I’d sit on his lap and face him. He’d do the rest. I wanted to put a pillow between my legs and ride it but I couldn’t, not while there’s somebody else at home.

“Fuck, Tim…you’re so tight…you look so beautiful while you’re fucking yourself on my lap…” He moaned.

I love that we share this imagination. He did as well.

Then I told him how I can vividly imagine him bending me over his desk and taking me from behind. He has no mercy over me. Armie’s pulling my hair and holding the back of my neck. Once he would finish, he’d come inside me and he’d send me home like that. He'd forbid me to come.

“I’d sneak into your classroom, get under the table…wait for you…unzip your pants…and I’d give you a blow job of your life…” i breathed out, licking my lips. This i can totally picture. 

“Mmmm…while I’m teaching…” He moaned so loudly, he sees it too

“You bet…mmm…”

“Fuuuck, Teeem…oh…”

Maybe 15 minutes later I came all over myself from just that one fantasy; bouncing on his lap in his office, being taken from behind on his desk and chocking on his cock underneath the desk. It made my eyes roll at the back of my head. I’m burning up, arching my back, squeezing my toes. My entire body has been raised on only my shoulders because of how hard I came. I had to bit the pillow to silent my moans. But I’d rather scream. 

He came a minute later after me, all over himself too.

We were silent for a while.

“Thank you…” He breathed out into the phone.

“Thank  _ you _ .” I said.

“That was so hot, Tim…fuck…we’re so sick. I love it.”

He giggled. 

“Yeah…I’m gonna tell you something even more sick: I won’t shower. I’m gonna sleep like this, you’ll smell me in the morning.” I told him. 

He’s not breathing.

“Teeem, I’m gonna get hard again.” He grunted.

“Good. Save that for tomorrow.” I smirked to myself.

Armie moaned but I had to compose myself and not let it get to me.

“Okay, I’m tired now.” I said after couple of minutes.

“Okay, baby. Sleep well, talk to you tomorrow.” Armie’s voice is soft again. 

“Good night Armie.”

And we hung up.

I woke up around 09:30 am the next day, still naked, still dirty. There was something so vile about all of this and it’s been pleasing me a lot recently. When I checked my phone, I saw that there was a message from Armie.

“Be ready around 10 am.”

Fuck, he sent this at 8 am. I jumped out of the bed and dressed myself up, covered my dirty body with a simple shirt, and a sweater over it. I don’t have time for breakfast and coffee, we’ll have it together. I found a bag in my closet and began packing. I packed lightly because we’re gonna be spending all day at his place, inside, no need for anything fancy. If I were to be asked, I’d choose for us to be naked all day long. Naked, just him and I.

I went to the bathroom and packed my toothbrush, then came back to my bedroom and packed the bottle of lube and the box of condoms. There were only two left. We need more of them. Until the results come in, then we can be careless. That is, if we’re both negative.

Jules was already at work, and Victor was still asleep. It was weird waking up alone. I’d think he’s gone to the bakery or to take Archie out, but no…he was far away, and in just 20 minutes, he’s coming back to pick me up. I love how much time we’re spending together. 

While I was waiting for him, I called my mom. We talked for a while, she told me she was already asleep when I realized I had a missed call from her the previous night.

“What are you gonna do today?” She asks. If I tell her what I’m gonna do and where I’m gonna sleep…busted.

“I’m um…I’m waiting for Armie to pick me up. I’m gonna sleep over at his place.” I bit my tongue, waiting for her response. 

“Okay baby…just be safe…” She said, didn’t even hesitate for a second. 

She knows. Of course she does. She’s a mom. She knows we’re having sex, I don’t know how but she knows. I think she’d be surprised if we didn’t but she needs to take a look at Armie and realize why my pants flew off so fast.

“We are.” I said.

“Good boy…”

We continued talking and as I was listening to her talk about how she can’t wait to see us and hug us and meet my man, I began feeling the fire burning down inside me. She is an awesome mom, she’s the mom every person needs to have. It made me feel really bad that armie’s mom is the way that she is. When these two meet, I want them to have the greatest relationship ever. I wanted Armie to open up to her and treat her like his own, and I want her to welcome him and bless us. Her opinion means everything to me.

We hung up after 10 minutes.

I was all packed and ready to go when Armie texted me that he’s downstairs. I grabbed my things and flew down the stairs. He was parked on his usual spot. I can’t stop smiling. 

I open the back door, put my things in and I sat next to him in the front.

Thanks to the tinted windows, Armie was so free when he pulled me by my hair and stuck his nose into my neck. Oh yeah, he can smell me. My own cum was itching me underneath my shirt but I didn’t let it bother me too much.

“Tim…” He breathed out and later on, he crushed our lips.

I wanted to sit on his lap and grind om it so badly.

But his scent…it was so strong. Oh my God…did he…

“You didn’t shower, did you?” I asked him and buried my nose underneath his ear.

He turned to look at me. He shook his head and smirked at me. Oh this dirty bastard. If I repeat the car episode, it won’t be my fault.

He knows how much this turns me on. He’s torturing me with this, it’s not fair.

“Can we please go? I don’t know how much longer I can take.” I breathed out as I was moving away from him. I haven’t seen him in 12 hours. I haven’t been with him for more than 5 minutes and I’m already flushed and hard.

“No.” He said and started the car.

“No?”

“Na-ah. Not a chance. You said yourself it’s a turn on when I tell you to keep it down. Now, I’m taking you out. We’re gonna have breakfast, coffee, smoke and a talk. After that…who knows. And tonight, I’m taking you out to dinner.” Armie said. He had it all planned out for us. 

Compose yourself boy, you need to go out more, instead of being locked up in a sex room, surrounded by the sex fog.

“Sounds good.” I said and grinned. 

“Good.”

Armie fulfilled his promise and took me to a very fancy place to eat. I’ve passed this place millions of times in my life but never ate here because I’d think it was way too expensive for me. But not for him I guess. When we walked in, we already had a table, looks like he made a reservation. I couldn’t decide what to eat and prizes were so high for me.

“Don’t look at that. Choose anything you want, my treat.” He said as he was casually looking through the menu. 

“Armie, I can’t let you pa-…”

“Shut up and order whatever you want. Don’t worry about the prize.”

I chose one thing, and a cup of coffee, he did the same. We sat opposite each other. Being out in public with him, with him staring at me, with him spending his money on me…I don’t know what’s the name for it, but I was a little bit embarrassed. 

Armie saw that I was feeling a bit uneasy about the entire situation, which, by the way, there was no need for it, but I love the way my drama crown sits on my head. He extended his hand across the table and I took it. 

“I wanted to treat you, to make you feel special.” He said, looking at me.

“But I already feel special. All the time, with you.” This is the truth, it can’t be more real than this.

He smiled.

“I’m sure you do. This is my way of saying…thank you and I love you.”

“For what exactly?” I asked him.

“For everything.” He said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket.

“No, I know that, but why…specifically why today?”

I asked him and he was taken off guard while lighting two cigarettes again. He handed me one.

“Why? Because you listen to me and don’t run away, because you love me being all fucked up, because you love me in a way I didn’t know I needed to be loved, because you need to rise on your toes to reach my hair…”

I could sense my eyes watering up, up until the last one.

“Oh, Armie, you had me there for a moment.” I giggled so much, I had to cover up my face.

He pulled the hand towards him and kissed it. We were isolated in my head, from the rest of the place, rest of the world. It was just him and me, sharing everything.

“I set everything up. I got new sheets out, I went shopping last night and filled the fridge with food. I cleaned up a bit. Everything is set for you to come over.” He said, he looked really happy that I was gonna sleep over.

“That’s so sweet…you cleaning? I want to see that.” I teased him. 

We laughed.

But him getting everything ready is…no words.

The last time I was at his place, it didn’t end well. That’s when he told me that days prior, he had broken up with a girl. I’m hoping, second time around would be better. But I’m not worried he’s gonna throw any girl at me. He tasted the real sex and loved it, he’s not going anywhere. 

Couple of minutes later, our food arrived and so did our coffee. I had an amazing time with him. Beyond happy and eager to see what’s coming at us.

We left after an hour or so and headed back to his place. Once we arrived there, I grabbed my things and headed to the elevator with him. While we were in there, we were quiet. I felt bad because Armie’s been pouring out his soul to me for weeks now. Why can’t I do the same? Is he mad that he’s always the one sharing everything and I’m just a listener?

Once we arrived at his floor, I stopped him and I stood in front of him. My eyes were elsewhere. 

“I know I don’t say this enough, but I do it in my head, very often…God, I’m so bad at this…I love you Armie. More than I’ve ever loved anybody else ever, more than I’ll ever love in the future. I feel so…safe with you, I don’t know…you do make me feel special, all the time, you have no idea. I feel so good with you, so loved and cherished, so beautiful, so sexy, I actually believe you when you say that. It physically hurts how much I hate when we’re not together. If we didn’t do what we did last night, I doubt I’d sleep at all. My teeth hurt how badly I want you all the time. All the fucking time. And I’m not just talking about when we’re…you know…but just…sitting somewhere with you, looking at you, listening to you laugh and watch you smile…when that’s gone, I feel like I’m choking. Like a fucking addict, huh? And I’ll always listen to you, seriously, no matter what. If something bad pops up, don’t shut me down Armie, don’t pull back or go cold, talk to me. From this moment on, from when we began playing at the bakery, until infinity, I’m always gonna be by your side, if you let me.”

When I was done I looked up at him. By that point I was so emotionally exhausted, I couldn’t read his face; he was touched but serious, happy but his eyes were watery, he wanted to slap me but also wanted to have me right there on the spot. 

But instead, he just hugged me, tightly. I hugged him back, feeling confused more than relieved. A hug can’t be a bad thing. Armie pulled back after a while and was looking through his pockets for the keys. I was so exhausted and I felt like burning up, like there was a fever heading my way. Armie stayed silent after what I said. What's a right response to it anyway? He opened the door and held them opened for me when I walked in.

“Come on in. We still need to christen my bed.” He spoke softly when I was on my way in.

This made my stomach twist. In just a few minutes, we’re gonna get naked and do it in his bed. 

And that’s exactly what happened. I put my things down as soon as we walked in, and only took the essentials with me. Archie was chewing a toy on the couch. Armie took my hand in his and guided me to the bedroom, which I’ve never been in before. Butterflies were jumping all over my stomach, I was nervous, after all this time, I still managed to get nervous before we do it. As Armie was going in first I could see that he was wiping his tears. I didn’t say anything because I too was tearing up a bit. 

His bedroom was bigger than mine, had a bigger bed; of course, big guy, big bed. Sheets were indeed cleaned. He closed the windows and, because it was still early in the day, only dimmed white snow acted as our light this day.

Armie began taking my clothes off, then I took his clothes off as well. He could see that I still had dried cum on my stomach and chest, and I eyed that same exact scenario on his body. We just went to breakfast looking so vile underneath our sweaters. And the smell. He removed the covers and we lied in his big and comfy bed. He made himself comfortable between my legs when he was giving me a blow job. I was tugging and caressing his hair the entire time. Everything was way too emotional and sensitive now for me. He repeated many times that he wants to please me so much, he wants to show how me just how much he loves me. All I did was lie down and watch him do his business. He then brough my legs around his waist while pushing three of his fingers inside of me, one at a time. My body was shivering, I was moaning and arching my back into his palm. I sobbed at the end when he was done, thinking I was opened enough. He soothed me by kissing my lips and forehead. I helped Armie roll the condom on and slicked his cock. I was ready. And he saw that too. He pushed inside of me fast but gently. Maybe now that I’ve opened my heart to him, everything else in my body would be opening up with such ease as well. 

We were making love. This time, we were making love. It felt like that, it felt differently, it felt special.

His eyes were glued to mine the entire time. I couldn’t handle how good he felt. I was way too overwhelmed to keep up with everything. My body was all of a sudden way too sensitive, I was emotional, he was as well, to feel him move inside me was so good beyond my dreams. So much emotions, so much pressure. I just want to let it go.

After some time, Armie turned me around on my stomach. I lied flat down with my hips in the air. He pushed inside again and pressed his entire body on top of mine. He managed to find an angle that could reach the deepest parts of my insides that would make me cry it out. And I did, but his lips were so close to my face and he wouldn’t let me cry it out on my own. Armie never complained about me being this much emotional, to the point where my emotions were pouring down my eyes. I always wondered why do people cry during sex, and now I got my answer: they’re overwhelmed and in love. Or in pain. But I wasn’t in pain, I loved this, I loved having a part of him inside of me and feeling him move, hissing every time he’d pull out. 

Armie pulled my face to his and kissed me, with tongue, slowly and gently, while he was doing everything opposite down there. 

“Tim…I’m gonna come, shit…I’m go-…” He stopped moving and pulled out only by a half, I felt the condom filling up.

I can’t wait to ditch these things. I want to feel him for real, to feel his skin, to feel him breed me for real.

Armie then turned me on my back again, spread my legs, lied down there again and began stroking me. I was hyperventilating. I’m close. Armie’s dark eyes were staring at me and I could read just how much this man worships me, he worships everything about me; my body, my soul, my love, my beauty. I intertwined our fingers with the other hand and a minute or two later, I began ejaculating. Armie opened his mouth and tried to catch everything I’ve been shooting out. Shivers overtook me body and I raised my body on my shoulders. I couldn’t watch him swallow my cum until the end. 

When I came back and was trying to stabilize my breathing, Armie moved away from between my legs, and lied next to me. He pulled me towards him and peppered my face with kisses. I inhaled his post coital scent and felt intoxicated.

“You can sleep now, baby. For as long as you want.” He whispered against my ear.

I nodded slowly.

“Will you sleep with me?” I ask him.

“I will.” Armie spoke softly and covered us up with the blanket we, maybe half an hour earlier, removed. 

I closed my eyes and that was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	27. Dance with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy have a sleep-over at Armie's place part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning babies!! I know i haven't posted in a while but you should know that I've already written 5 chapters ahead. My motivation and inspiration are over the roof! Anyway, happy Sunday, take care and be safe, it's insane what's happening in the world! Hope you'll like this chapter, enjoy it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments! ❤️

I woke up naked, on my stomach, in a different bed, between unfamiliar sheets, and nuzzled up against the fluffiest pillows ever. He really did go over the edge and made everything special for me. But only one thing stayed constant, the sams thing that's been with me every since we first laid our eyes on each other, summing up the last few weeks: his scent. It was all around me, I was drowning in it. Everywhere I’d move my nose I’d smell him, I was walking on his pheromones, they’re choking me, suffocating me. Anytime I’d inhale I’d stuff a large amount of it down my lungs. His room was full of it, it was like a fog that could never be brushed off. It’s insane. 

It was dark in his room. My phone was in my jacket, back in his living room, so I had no idea what time it was. It could’ve been middle of the night, or afternoon, next day and morning. The blinds were closed. The dimmed light inside of his big bedroom was very comfortable for my eyes, and it screwed with me because i had no idea what time it was. And above everything, it was very warm for me to sleep naked in it. This is the room I never wanted to leave.

Armie was no where to be found, but his scent took his spot, so it was like he'd been with me all this time. Where did he run off to? I should go and look for him.

I uncovered my naked body, it wasn’t cold at all, he heated the place really good. Or, that’s all because of me and the big, warm bed. I found my boxers on the floor and put them back on, and I found his shirt crumpled up in a corner, and wore it. Wearing something on his did make me feel special, the feeling was so good and I felt safe wearing his clothes on. Like a shield, I'm wearing my protector on my back. The shirt came down almost to my knees. But I loved wearing it, I loved wearing his clothes, I loved smelling him on me, I loved me smelling like him. 

I got out and walked around a little bit, I had no idea where to look for him. Should I call for him? No, that would be stupid. Outside, the Sun was going down. Okay so it's sunset, but which day? Where are you armie? I took a turn down the hallway, around the living room, kitchen is one way and I haven’t look the other way. His apartment is huge, anyone can get lost so easily, like i just did. 

Oh, I found him.

He was in his study room. Armie was sitting at a big wooden desk, facing the door, flipping some papers, his laptop was turned on in front of him. I could see that he wasn’t wearing anything over his chest. He was bare and that’s why his pheromones were so strong this evening, that's why i was suffocating. And not because i wore his shirt, no…Armie looked so focused and concentrated on whatever he was doing. He had books and papers on his desk, an ashtray and a cigarette in it and a glass of water.

Armie didn’t even notice me standing by the door and watching him for couple of seconds. He looked very professional, so focused. I decided not to say anything and just go up to him.

I’m tiptoeing towards him, that’s when he raised his head and noticed me.

“Tim, hey…” He had a huge grin on his face. He let go of the papers immediately. 

“Hi…” I smiled back and spoke softly.

“You sleep well?”

I nodded.

“Come here.” He said and backed off with his chair for me to sit on his lap. Don't mind if i do, sir. 

Actually, I sat on his thigh, with my back turned to his bare chest. Armie embraced my waist with his arm. He pulled me back towards him so I don’t fall down. He wasn’t warm, which meant he was awake for some time now. 

Armie pushed his face against my neck and inhaled me.

“God, you smell so good…” He whispered and I could feel him tightening the embrace.

“This is your shirt.” I chuckled.

“I know, but I can tell your scent apart from mine.”

I turned around a bit and looked down at him.

“I was suffocating in your bed.” I said. We shared a smile.

He pulled me towards him again and he gently bit my arm. 

“So…what are you doing?” I asked him.

“I have this presentation for tomorrow, and I’m doomed.” He grunted and then pushed the chair towards the desk. His hands were already on the keyboard. And then he took the cigarette, inhaled a smoke and handed me the rest.

“Why?” I frowned and took a smoke. I gave it back to him and he put it off. 

“Because I need to work on it and i don't have the concentration or the will because I’d rather do absolutely anything but this…absolutely anything else.”

“Me?” I frowned.

He nodded and smirked. 

“Oh, I can leave if you want to wo-…” I began standing up but Armie pulled me back down and embraced me even tighter. I felt him underneath me. Oh… 

“Sit back down. Don’t you dare move.”

He said and continued typing something. Yes sir. 

“I’m kidding. It’s not a presentation. I have to create a new test for the exam tomorrow.” He said and looked up at me. His eyes were staring into my soul. I’m gonna fall underneath his spell again. I am that easy when he’s around me. 

He proceeded showing me on his laptop how to write questions and answers and put all the dots and lines right. He was really good at this. lucky students. 

He’d slam his blushing cheeks against my arm and I’d lose it again. I’m shivering every time his tiny hairs on his beard would touch me. Funny, he didn’t have that beard hours ago. How long was I out actually?

Fuck, I am so easy. So needy, so horny, I need him.

Yup, I am that easy. I want him again. And I want it harder this time. We shared a little fantasy and it started with us sitting just like we’re sitting right now. I want him harder. 

So I don’t waste time and just make myself comfortable on his lap. I’d sit up straight and arch my back so I’d feel him underneath me. I bit my lower lip, staring into nothing, waiting for him to react. He’s doing his best to focus on work but I’m not making it any easy for him. I don’t want it either. I want him to make our fantasy come to life. I’m already on his lap, there’s the desk where he can bend me over so easily, or…we could pretend we’re in a classroom, I’d get down on my knees and do what I told him that was my biggest turn on. 

He stopped working and breathed in. His hands were sliding down the keyboard. 

“Tim…” He breathed out. He caressed his face against my arm.

“You know what I told you over the phone…” I moaned out and pushed my pelvis into his crotch again.

“I know…a lot of things are missing…” His voice was shivering.

“But…I’m sitting in your lap, there’s the desk and I can just as easily hide underneath your desk. Isn’t that enough?” I breathed out and pushed down on his crotch again. Oh boy, he was getting harder and harder. Yes!

“More than enough, babe, mmm…”

Silence. He gave up. He can't resist me like this. I’m gonna feel him again soon. We only have one condom left and we’re gonna use it so beautifully. Armie pulled me again and held my hips as I was twisting them on his crotch, twisting, arching and pushing it down. He slammed his head on my back and was finally moaning and breathing heavily. It felt so good, i was moaning louder. 

But then he came back to reality and held my hips on one place. 

“We can’t…Tim…if we start now, we can’t continue. We have to go…” He said and removed me from him. We both stood up.

“Where?” Seriously, where?

“I made us an 8 pm reservation.”

Fuck. The dinner. Of course.

“Oh, right…and what time is it now?” I asked looking around to see a clock somewhere. 

“6 pm” He looked at his laptop and said, and walked away. At least, he tried walking away. I wanted to follow him and help him get off, but decided not to. 

He went to the bathroom to either relief himself or to just let it go down on his own. He came back couple of minutes later, still looking like a mess but the bulge in his boxers was smaller.

“Can’t we just stay here and…fuck…?” I hesitated a little but this was just how I felt. This is what I really wanted.

“Gladly, but we do need to get out more babe. Come on, we’ll eat well and there’s gonna be alcohol.”

Shall we remember what happened the last time I had alcohol? 

He seemed really happy about taking me out and dining with me. What the heck…Let’s go!

We chilled for another hour or so at his place, he took me to yet another house tour and showed me some stuff. We were in such hurry in the morning that the only rooms that I saw were a glimpse of hallway, a glimpse of the living room and the bedroom. And this could even out what i saw when i was here for the first time ever, that seemed to so months and months ago. After I woke up, I tried finding my way to him but I got completely lost. He showed me where everything was, if there’s anything I need I should just snoop around until I find it. Seems fair, he snooped around at my place, and I never knew about it. He’s making so much of an effort for one sleep-over, but then again, I was the one who cried out after he left for couple of hours. Damn. He left the previous night but I had his scent in my bed, all around me so it was like he was still with me. What am I gonna do when everything washes off and there’s nothing left? God, I hope that never happens.

Before we could even start to get ready for dinner, we put our pajamas on and took Archie out for a walk. I still had to get used to new environment. We walked and talked for couple of minutes, while Archie was doing his business all over the place.

“Where are we going?” I asked him while walking besides him.

“You’ll see…” 

He smiled looking at me. 

“When you’re staying with me, you’re getting the whole treatment. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.” He added.

“I’m guessing lunch was when we got here.” I giggled.

“Oh yeah.”

Silence.

“And a midnight snack. Soon.” He added.

I’m so excited about this.

Once we came back to his place, we started getting ready for dinner. I wore the jeans and sweater I brought. Armie wore some fancy pants and a shirt. He looked very elegant, and I looked like…totally opposite. A man and a child. Yes, that’s how it was. 

“You look adorable.” He said and pinched my cheek while I was brushing my teeth.

“You look like million bucks, dude.” I spat in the sink and looked him in the mirror.

He laughed at that. 

“Trust me. I feel like that next to you.” He added and continued to put his shoes on.

No, Armie, _I_ feel like that next to _you_.

Once we were ready we left his place. We jumped into his car and he drove us to our destination.

As I suspected, the place was extremely fancy and elegant, he’d fit perfectly in with the crowd. He told the hostess that he made a reservation for two for 8 pm, name Hammer. She escorted us to our seats. Every man was in a suit, and every woman was in a dress. I was in jeans, sweater and sneakers. Wonder if people were staring at me because I was dressed like a hobo, or because there were two guys dining together, and they didn’t look like they're just two friends? We thanked her when she gave us the menus. Armie ordered drinks for us. He knows exactly how to act around these people. He asked me what I would be having for drinks, I said I’d start with a simple soda, Armie ordered beer for himself. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked when he saw me fall silent.

“I don’t fit in here.” I breathed out. This was definitely not a place for me. 

“What are you talking about? Don’t even look at it that way.” 

“This is so fancy…and I’m…not…” I felt like shit. But I shouldn’t complain, someone should cut my tongue out. This was a wonderful gesture and I can’t believe I’m complaining. Okay, stop it. Nobody has ever taken me out to a fancy restaurant like this one. Nobody has ever gotten through the effort that Armie did to make me feel special. At least I could do is appreciate it.

“Who cares? I don’t. You look perfect. This is all for you, babe…yet another perfect date.” He said and continued looking at the menu.

He’d heard me chuckle and he’d looked at me.

“Stop, you’re making me blush.” I breathed out with a huge grin on my face, trying to cover up my cheeks.

“I love it when you do that.” He smiled.

“What? When I blush?”

He nodded with a grin on his face.

Our drinks came in a minute later, and we ordered food. After a while, we ordered a bottle of wine and finished it off so quickly. I was so drunk but I haven’t been this happy in a very long time. This is our future. Him spoiling me and me just enjoying it. I don’t have much to offer him since I’m basically still a kid. I was really stunned when nobody asked for my ID card because we were having alcohol. Either they don’t care about that policy or I did look 21, two years older than I really was. Or…Armie seduced the hostess with his eyes and voice and she gave in. Whatever it was, it did not stop us from getting pretty wasted. 

Three hours later, we finally left the restaurant. But I didn’t want to go home. It was late at night and I suddenly craved dancing with him on the streets on New York.

We ran away around the corner and stumbled on a tiny park that was empty. I took his hand in mine and began running around him, spinning around Armie, while he was too busy singing something. He was laughing, i was laughing, smile never left our faces. Armie's skin crumbled around his eyes, that's a sign of true happiness. Everything was spinning around me but I just knew that a smile never left my face, neither did Armie’s. Now we’re running in circles, never letting go of each other’s hands. Once we slowed down, Armie pulled me towards him and embraced my waist with one of his arms and intertwined our fingers with the other one. I was holding onto his shoulder. We were dancing. He was drunk, I was wasted and a giggling mess. It was quiet on the streets, no people, no noise, not a single soul, not even cars passing us by. I tried to look into his eyes but I was dizzy and I couldn’t wrap my finger around where and who to look at.

“I’m sorry I complained.” I said.

“No need to apologize. I just wanted to spoil you a bit.”

“And I’m grateful.” I smiled.

Silence. We’re dancing to nothing. I just love being in his arms with his face in my hair and mine in his neck. The safest and the warmest place in the world.

“Hey, Tim?”

I looked up at him. He chuckled when my head fell backwards. Was my head always this heavy?

“Look, it’s snowing!” I screamed out of sheer happiness.

Armie looked up as well. We let the snowflakes fall onto our warm skins.

“In couple of months, I’m gonna take you to Cayman Islands. We’re gonna spend our summer there.” He bent down and whispered his plans to my ear.

“Yeah?” I grinned at him.

“Absolutely, Tim…”

I bit my lip with a smile and began spinning him around again. Oh, shit, I felt like I was gonna throw up. We slowed down again and Armie’s had It enough when he slammed against a wall and pulled me by my jacket towards him.

“God, I’m so in love with you Tim…” Armie breathed out against my cheek.

Me too. I wish I said that out loud.

“Please…take me home…” I whined it out, grinding my body against his.

Armie pulled me even closer and kissed me. My legs lost their function and I let him take me. He was swallowing my entire face, embracing me closer and closer. Take it, everything mine is now yours, take my mind, my heart, by body, all of it...it's yours. 

“And make love to me again…” I added between the kisses.

“Like today?”

“Or you can brutally fuck me, I don’t mind, your call.” I added again in between kisses.

Armie chuckled and slammed his forehead against mine.

“Man, this alcohol is changing my mind so quickly…” I giggled but Armie was laughing his ass off.

“I know what we should do. Come on…” He said and took my hand in his.

Lead the way, sir.

I don’t think he was nearly as drunk as I thought he was. I wanted to stop him and not let him drive but he seemed fine. We walked back to his car. The streets were empty, it was cold and only few drunk people were walking around. Maybe he sobered up or wasn’t that drunk to even begin with. We made it home safely.

His idea of what he should do turned out to be the greatest idea ever. When we walked back to his place, he told me to get undressed and come to the bathroom in 5 minutes. I waited for 5 minutes, in my boxers, still giggling to myself because I was still tipsy and recalling what an amazing day it was. My time has gone by and I walked into the bathroom. Armie was undressing himself while the bath tub was filling up with water. Yes! Finally a bath tub! We both got naked down to our skins and jumped into the tub, lying on the opposite sides of the ceramic tube. The warm water helped.

“You okay?” He asked me.

I pulled my head backwards to look at him.

“Yeah…Amazing.”

Armie smiled and then bent down to take something out of the pocket from those fancy pants that he wore that night. He got the condom out. 

Oh.

Wait, why was there a condom in his pants in the first place? Did he plan on taking me somewhere else and not home? Oh my God, i wish i had known, then I'd be extra horny in the streets. 

I wanted to cry. It was like he could read my mind, even though this was not what I was thinking about at the moment. But sex in a bath tub…I’ll cross that off my list soon enough.

He opened the pack and pushed it down underneath the water and rolled it on. My God, for how long was he hard to just roll it on that easily? He must’ve nurtured some dirty thoughts when I wasn’t looking or when my head was thrown back. He did love my neck, he loved touching it, kissing it, biting on it. 

“Come here…” He breathed out. I love how he just does this, simple as that, without asking me. He knows i won't say no. 

I obeyed him and “swam” my way towards him with a smile. I straddled his lap and waited for him to enter me. The water made it better because there wasn’t any need for preparation. I was already opened. I've been opened ever since i grinded against him on his lap. 

I spread my butt cheeks and was staring at him until I felt his head entering me. I was shivering but managed to suck it up and take him. This is our fifth time having sex, there was still pressure but very little pain. I did ask him to either make love to me or fuck me brutally. Armie, somehow, managed to do two in one. 

When he was fully inside, I moaned out loud. I didn’t want to wait so I started twisting my hips while holding onto his shoulders. His hands were around my waist, controlling the rhythm. Even if I wanted to go faster, I couldn’t; the density of water was making it almost impossible for me. 

We were having sex in a bath tub. Just the thought of it made me twitch on his stomach.

“Fuck Tim…mmm…” He moaned.

Armie then let go of my hips and spread his arms on the bath tub, grasping it on its sides. He threw his head back and let me do my business. He’d let me control everything, he’d let me take whatever I needed to please myself. 

I wasn’t drunk anymore, I was high on him.

I watched him breathe with his mouth opened, grasping onto the edges of the tub. Eyes closed, only soft moans were coming out of his mouth. 

The water was getting cold, but I’ve never felt so hot. I continued riding him, like I told him many times before. I kept thinking about the entire day; him picking me up, taking me to breakfast, taking me back to his place, making love to me, me sitting on his lap while he was working, walking his pup, dressing up differently, taking me out to dinner, getting drunk, dancing on the street, coming home and now...having sex in the bath tub. I couldn’t believe this was all happening to me. Beyond happy and beyond excited. He has no fucking idea how good he feels inside of me. And he has no idea that the image of him just enjoying all of this, sitting back and letting me take from him what I need…I love to please a man, I love looking at him getting pleased. 

Armie opened his eyes and immediately wrapped his hand around my neck, squeezed it really hard and pulled me back down to him. He grunted through his teeth, and I tugged his hair and pulled it backwards, grunting as well. 

I wished to tell him something, something deep and meaningful. If I say I love him, I’d bring the vibe down because he already knows that and because it can turn into something nice and slow, and right now, i wanted him darker and harder. I wanted to tell him something darker, because that’s how I felt like. I wanted to scream at him and tell him to hurt me and leave a mark on me, somewhere visible, somewhere where I’d always know it’s from him and that I’m his. I wanted him to own me, to praise me, to be his. I wanted to tell him I’d let him kill me and I’d forgive him for it, because that’s how much I loved him. 

That’s way too dark.

Armie crushed our lips together and that was what I needed to finally start stroking myself underneath the water, as fast as I could. We both looked down and watched me jerking myself off, and it caught our eyes when tiny white lines and bubbles began shooting from my cock with such ease. It made me tremble and lose control, I was still riding off on my orgasm when I began arching my back faster and faster, fearing that I’d tare his cock off. it turned him on watching me like this because few seconds later, Armie grabbed me by the waist and pushed me down on him as harder as he could and began filling up the condom.

“Fuuuuck…” He grunted through his teeth.

Armie bit my shoulder when he was done. 

He pulled out and embraced me to him, hugging my entire body in a small bath tub. We stayed glued to each other as the water changed from boiling hot to ice cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon. ✨


	28. Fading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy have a sleep-over at Armie's place, part 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning loves!! Some news: because of the virus, my country, Serbia, has been quarantined and with that, my internship has been put on hold from now on until further notice. So i have some time off. There's still less than 60 cases here but there are 2 people in the hospital where i work, and because I'm still just an intern, it's not safe for me to go there, and now I'm on a break. My health comes first and then everything else. I hope I'll use this free time right and write as many chapters as i can in a day.  
> Please be safe, it's a nasty thing this virus, stay home and take care!  
> Anyway, here's today's chapter, hope you'll like it, enjoy it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments! ❤️

Another day in a row, I woke up alone in a big and fluffy bed.

The night before, after we finished in the bath tub, we showered, dried each other and went straight to bed. Armie had to work in the morning, he was now gone. I didn’t hear him get up, or when he was getting ready or even when he left. He did say he won’t be long, but he could never be certain about his work hours. His scent was still here so I didn’t panic that much. In a way, he was still here with me. Maybe he came back earlier but is somewhere else in the apartment. I should get up and check. If he has some plans for us, it’d be okay for me to know whether or not I should get ready for something big.

I got up, this time, I wore my pajamas and my shirt. Once I opened the door, the bright light came over me and I had to put a hand in front of my face to see clearly.

“Armie?” I call out for him, not moving, waiting for him to pop out any second now.

No answer. Guess he’s not home. But Archie is; he came running down and jumping at my feet. I kneeled down and played with him for a while. I hope Armie fed him so I don’t have to worry about that, I will take him out soon.

As I walked around, I saw that there was a key left on the counter, that’s for me if I need to get out while he’s not home. I found my jacket and pulled my phone out. Shit. Five missed calls from Victor from yesterday, and two missed from my mom. It was 11:30 am. I’ll call them later.

He must’ve left around 8 am, or even before that. I don’t remember what time it was when we finally got to bed. I know that it was around 11 pm when we walked out of the restaurant. And after that, God knows when we got home and later on, got to bed.

I had to ask myself, how many times was Armie left alone at my place while I was sleeping? Countless. I think he was curious about being alone because he could snoop around a little and learn more about me without talking to me. And I’m not sure how I feel about being alone at his place, I’d rather have him here so that we can spend our time together. I’m scared I’d break something or get lost in this huge apartment.

First thing I did, I made myself coffee, that I can do, the coffee machine was the same as ours. While I was waiting for that, I opened the fridge. Wow, he really did think of everything. The fridge was filled with all sorts of food and it made my stomach growl like cray. My eyes were travelling as I moved from one shelf to the other. I’d eat everything.

My coffee was done and I was drinking it in silence, sitting in one of his huge and comfortable chairs in the living room. I called my mom. We talked for about 20 minutes, just as I was about to finish my coffee we hung up.

Now I’m hungry. I should eat something, I should make the best of it while I’m here.

But Archie started whining.

“What’s the matter bud? You wanna go out?”

Everything else can wait. I wouldn’t know the first thing to do if a dog made a mess in a closed room.

I just put my jacket on and my sneakers. We won’t be long. There’s a small park where Armie and I took him yesterday. I called for the pup to come here so I could put the leash on, and he obeyed. He obeyed so easily, he does it just like when Armie calls for him, I really thought I was gonna struggle, and it’s not my first time walking him. Wow, I guess everyone loves obeying Armie around here, huh?

I locked the door on our way out, got into an elevator and waited until it took us down. Outside, it was still snowing, but it wasn’t cold at all. I watched him run around, rise his tiny little legs on every tree, sniffing his path, scratching behind his ear, wagging his tail whenever he’d turn around to look at me as to check and make sure if I’m still behind him. It was way too cute, it was like having a baby. I was enjoying all of this, I loved it. The pup accepted me so beautifully, that was probably one of the reasons why I stayed and wasn’t kicked out of the relationship. If Archie approves, Armie has the permission to date.

After maybe 15 minutes, we were on our way back, I wasn’t rushing, I was really having fun walking him. I enjoyed the walk, the snow, the morning, everything.

“Nice dog, kid.” I heard someone roughly commenting on this behind me.

I turned around to see who it was. It was Armie.

“Armie! Hey!” I smiled widely when I saw him. I did not expect him to show up any time soon.

“Hi, babe!” He smiled back and pulled me in and kissed my temple.

He then bent down and was petting Archie. The pup was jumping around the second he heard his voice.

“Hiya buddy, what are you doing? Were you being a good boy? Did you listen to Tim like we agreed?”

Aw, he talked to his dog about me. Jesus. We sound and act like a family.

“You’re back so early.” I said when he came back up to me. Now we’re walking back home together.

“Yeah, I knew I won’t be long. When did you wake up?”

“Around 11 or so.”

“Sleep well?” He asked, he was smiling.

“I can’t remember a single thing. You?” I chuckled.

“I’ve never struggled more in my entire life than when I had to get up this morning. You didn’t feel me leave?” He said, he still couldn’t believe it.

“No, nothing.”

“I had to break my own heart and remove you from myself. You looked so adorable.” He added and we were inside the building again.

I called the elevator.

“Did you eat anything?” He asked me while we were waiting for the elevator.

“No, nothing. Just had a cup of coffee. But I am starving.”

“Me too, we’ll prepare something to eat.” He said.

The elevator came down and we walked in.

Because I was standing opposite side of him, he extended his arm as a sign for me to give him my hand. I do it, he brought it up to his lips and kisses it, eyes closed, and he’s caressing the skin. Then he pulls me towards him with that same hand and now that I’m only an inch away from his face, he gives me a good morning kiss. He’s so gentle and slow, very soft this morning. I know what he told me last night. I know the way his words were flying out perfectly when he told me how much he’s in love with me. I know the way he formed a smile while he was watching me drink. I know the look on his face when we were doing it in a bath tub.

The elevator stopped and we parted. I wish there was no time in the world and that I could kiss him non-stop.

We got in and Armie went straight to the kitchen to prepare something for us to eat. I was taking Archie’s leash off and my jacket.

“Hey, Tim…catch.” He said.

I turned around and caught what he threw at me from his pocket. It was a new box of condoms. I must’ve turned every shade of red there was.

I told him that I’ll go and put it in his bedroom.

We ate and ate well, then I helped him clean up what was left of it and then we just chilled around his place, flipping some channels and such.

“I want you to meet my brother.” He flat out said it as we were lying on the couch; him on his side and my back was pressed against his chest.

“Ben?”

“Mhm…”

“Okay, yeah…” I smiled at that. That’s great.

“You do?”

“Absolutely. Does he know about…me…?” I asked, looking for the right words.

“He knows that there is someone else and that it’s not a woman.”

Oh, so he did tell him something, but not everything.

“How did he react?”

“Okay, I guess. Maybe he saw how happy I was for the first time in a very long time, and maybe he was glad because of that…” He said. He really did look happy.

“Could be. Now I’m nervous.”

“Why?”

“What if he doesn’t like me?” That’s the last thing I needed from his side of the family. I already crossed his mother out, I hope his brother would at least be a plus.

“Bullshit. He will.” He shook that thought away and continued caressing my hair.

“And what if he doesn’t approve?” I asked.

He looked at me and then wandered off with his thoughts.

“Your family approves, right?” He asked.

I nodded, didn’t really understand where this is all going.

“Then I’ll just have to move in with your family.” He said and smiled.

“Deal!”

I was ecstatic and he saw that.

And then my phone rang. It was Victor. Of course.

“Noooo…shit…” I whined when I saw his name on my screen.

“What?”

“Victor. He’s done with his exam.” I whined again, hesitating whether or not I should answer. The party’s over.

“So soon?” He scoffed.

“Bastard.” I muttered.

I answered anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Tim, you up?” My brother asked.

“Yeah…” I rolled my eyes on him, Armie giggled when he saw me do that.

“Good. I just finished my exam. How about we meet down town in like half an hour?”

“Half an hour, okay.” I nodded, already planning ahead how to use those thirty minutes in my head.

“See ya…”

“Later.”

I hung up and straddled Armie’s lap that same second. I pushed him down to lie on the couch and made myself comfortable. He was confused but wasn’t backing away.

“I don’t want to waste time, we’ve got half an hour to ourselves.” I said and began kissing his neck, religiously ruining his perfect skin.

Armie was already losing it, moaning softly, until he managed to get up with me in his arms.

“You got it, sunshine.” He spoke against my ear while carrying me back to his bedroom.

I was 20 minutes late for my meeting with Victor.

First, I wanted to just make out with Armie on the couch, then he took us back to the bedroom, then I thought we’d just dry hump for a while, not making it to the end, after that, I thought no dry humping, only hand stuff, but hand stuff turned into blow jobs and blow jobs turned into more steamy stuff, and all in all…we opened the new box of condoms and it was worth it. I didn’t care that I was late that much. And for our record, this must’ve been the fastest sex we’ve ever had. He took me from behind with my legs handing from the bed as he stood by the bed side. Then he lied on the bed and I was riding him. We were in a hurry so it had to be brutal. I stuffed my head in Armie’s neck as he was pounding inside of me so fast from that angle, mercilessly, I was a sobbing mess. I didn’t have the time to shower, I just wiped myself with wet wipes but Armie didn’t even do that, he just put his sweater back on. After that, I just got dressed, and Armie gave me his shirt which I wore the night before when I was sitting on his lap. He said he wanted to and that he loves when I wear his clothes. I put it on immediately. I packed my things, and there was no use in arguing with him, he insisted on driving me at least half way from where my brother and I were supposed to meet. I let him do it anyway. We made out for a while in his car, only 5 minutes away from my location, my phone has been ringing like crazy the entire time.

“I’ll call you tonight to…continue…” He whispered against my ear.

“Deal!”

I had trouble walking and sitting, it was burning, but I knew that, while I was struggling with my walking, Armie was watching me and feeling rather proud. I’d feel it too.

Somehow, I managed to walk for those 5 minutes. Victor called me again and this time I picked up.

“Where the fuck are you?” He was pissed, but I couldn’t care less. I couldn’t walk, my hips were locked, what an amazing feeling.

“I’m coming, I’m coming. I got lost a bit, and I dropped my phone, the screen got fucked up so I couldn’t unlock it when you called. I’m on my way.” I’m a great liar, this is all for a good cause.

Victor and I went shopping for mom’s present. He had no clue where to start or what to buy for her. I couldn’t care less about that either.

About half an hour into our shopping, Armie texted me.

 _“Is he mad?”_ His text said.

_“Of course he is. But I don’t care. I had fun before seeing him.”_

_“Me too. Are you okay?”_

_“Still can’t walk properly.”_ I was smirking at my phone while writing this, following Victor around and agreeing or disagreeing with whatever he’d point out to.

_“Sorry…”_

_“No need. I love it. I can still feel you in me. And smell you on me.”_

No answer for couple of minutes, so I put my phone back into my pocket. But then another text came.

_“Not now, Tim…I’m working.”_

Oh, so he’s working…good to know.

 _“Can I sit in your lap like yesterday? Maybe you’ll work harder and faster with me in your lap.”_ I continue anyway, still slowing down because I couldn’t walk.

_“Stop it, kid…”_

_“Maybe I can help you with something. Pick up something you dropped on the floor, underneath the desk…”_

_“Stop it or I’m ending the conversation.”_

_“You don’t know how to do that sir.”_

No answer.

_“Armie?”_

_“Armieee?”_

_“Aaaarrrmmmiiieeee!!!!”_

_“OMFG you were serious!!”_

_“Jesus! Then I’ll just spam you with messages…”_

_“Get ready big guy!”_

I continued just writing his name with extra letters, more and more with each text.

Five minutes later, he answered. He can’t resist me. He could’ve just easily turned his phone off but he didn’t.

_“Okaaaay! I’m here.”_

_“Good.”_

I giggled reading how little time had passed since his last text.

 _“Did you find something she’ll love?”_ He asked.

_“Still looking.”_

_“I’ll buy her flowers when she arrives. What kind does she love?”_

My heart, oh!

_“Oh, that’s so sweet, you don’t have to do that.”_

_“I would love to. Just let me know what kind. There’s still 2 days to go.”_

Victor called for me and I ran to him to see what did he find.

 _“Yupp. I have to go, this one is annoying me.”_ I rolled my eyes when I wrote this text.

_“Okay, babe, I’ll call you later.”_

_“Later.”_

And we stopped texting.

After an hour or so, we finally found a perfect preset for mom. We came back home in a subway. I forgot the feeling of riding on a subway, the last few weeks, Armie has been my driver.

When we got home, it was already time for lunch. Jules already left for work at 3 pm, so it was just my brother and me. After lunch, I lied down for a “short” nap and woke up at 7 pm. I slept for so long because there was his scent on one of my pillows and because I had his shirt on. I think everything finally caught up with me. I was beyond exhausted, I was home sick, for Armie, I was overwhelmed by what we did last evening, last night, few hours ago. Now I got it all off the way with a three hour long nap. I checked my phone and saw that Armie called me once and texted me something about a movie we recently watch, some internal information I never noticed.

I called him but he didn’t answer. He finally turned his phone off to work in silence. He’ll call me back later, when he finishes.

The smell was so strong and intoxicating, but I went and showered anyway; washed my body and my hair. Armie was missing here, there was nobody else to dry my body and blow dry my hair. I went back to my room, put some fresh clothes on and his shirt on top. I am never taking it off. Yes, it is dirty and sweaty and it needs to be washed but I couldn’t care less. A part of him was with me at all times.

I called him again, still no answer. Maybe he fell asleep. But It was only 9:30 pm.

I brushed it off and got on my laptop to check my results. As I expected, I passed, all of them. I was so happy, I texted my mom and Armie that I had passed. The only answer I got was from my mom, and she called me. We talked for maybe an hour or even more. She congratulated me. She was packing her stuff, tomorrow would be her last day before the holidays.

After we hung up, I made myself something to eat. When I got back to my room, I saw that there were still no answers from Armie. Nothing, not a phone call, not a single text. I wasn’t worried just yet, but still…

I called him again and no answer. Either he’s asleep, working or…or what? What? What could’ve happened in the last few hours that would make him…ignore me, avoid me? He’s not avoiding me, he’s probably working, or talking to someone…no, then I’d get the message that he is talking to someone. He’s not ignoring anybody. Let it go. We’ll talk in the morning.

But as another hour or so went by, I was starting to worry. Is he okay? Did something happen? Is he mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Maybe I should go to his place and see if something is wrong. I’ve watched a lot of crime scene TV shows, the hardest ones are when a family member would find a dead body of their loved ones in their apartment and the pathologist would say that it has been lying here for few days. Jesus, relax. Nothing happened. Everyone’s okay. He’s not ignoring me. We’re okay, we’re fine, we’re more than fine, we’re perfect. At least, I think we are.

It’s crazy to even worry. Yeah, so what? He didn’t answer my calls or texts, he’s probably busy, or he went out and forgot his phone. But id’ know if he went out, he tells me everything. Maybe he’s really asleep. Maybe now that I’m finally home and away from him, he can get a decent and quiet night so he can sleep better. But Armie always says how he sleeps so good next to me. Maybe he’s just working. Let it go. There’s absolutely nothing to worry about. We’re fine. He’ll answer tomorrow.

I got to bed around 2 am, in his shirt, falling asleep to his scent. It wasn’t like him not to answer me or let me know at least what he’s doing. I didn’t want to create more drama, or create drama at all so I just fall asleep thinking he too is asleep already and that I’ll wake up with a text from him and a missed phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armieee where are you boo?  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	29. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie's been off the radar for 24 hours now, Tim's had it enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning sweeties! Hope you're staying at home and doing everything to be safe, the numbers are drastically changing every 12 hours, it's insane. Anyway, here's today's chapter, get ready! Hope you'll like it and enjoy it. As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️

I had a terrible nightmare. This all must’ve affected me so much that I actually dreamt about Armie leaving me, breaking up with me, just turning his back on me in the middle of the street, walking away and I never saw him again. I refused to believe that this had some connections to the reality I was facing. Unconsciously, this is what I was afraid of. Maybe on the surface I tried to stay cool and look okay, but deep down, I felt like there was something more to it. I just couldn’t figure out what it was. And the fact that I can’t, scared the shit out of me.

The second I opened my eyes I rushed to check my phone. I haven’t even unglued my eye lids properly all the way, I just wanted to see something from him.

It was 9 am and that’s when I realized that, what I had wished right before bed, did not come to life. I was very wrong. No calls, no texts, no nothing from Armie. It was like he disappeared, like we never existed, like we were strangers again.

What the fuck is going on here? I am really worried now. He hasn’t called since 6 pm last night, that’s when I saw that he called me and few minutes later, I got a text from him about the movie. This is insane. We went from being tore inside about being apart for only a couple of hours, and now he’s not even bothering to call me or text me. Even if it’s something stupid, I’d appreciate a sign of a living human being.

I was freaking out. My palms were sweating, I could sense my heart beating faster in my chest. I have no fucking idea what is going on or what is he doing…or what I should do. Should I call him? No. He’d answer if he wanted to talk, I called him more than two times yesterday. No answer. Now what am I gonna do?

I have to rewind the film and see where did I go wrong. He was happy to let me sleep over, take me to dinner, get me drunk, dance with me, have sex with me in a bath tub. He was beyond happy when he saw me walk his dog, when I made myself comfortable at his own home, when I said I’d love to meet his brother. He was happy when we had sex, when he gave me the shirt I was wearing, when he drove me to meet my brother, when we made out in his car. He was happy when we were texting…or was he? Was I annoying him? Is this his way of getting me off his back until he finishes his work? I doubt it’s that. He can’t work all day, all night, without at least letting me know if he’s still alive.

I went beyond the fact that it’s something simple, like sleep and work. Now I’m repeating everything I said and did for the past 12 plus hours just so I could find a problem and fix it. Of course I was the problem, he was the one ignoring me, probably because of some shit I pulled off. What did I do wrong? What did I say wrong?

But then I started thinking, this is not a simple ignorance period, what if it lasts?

Jesus. He himself said that he’s a coward and that when he sees that the relation doesn’t work, his way of breaking up is ignoring the other individual, not speaking to it, cooling down, ghosting them. Is this how he’s telling me that it’s over? It can’t be! Yesterday at noon he told me he wants me to meet his brother, he talked about buying flowers for my mom, and taking me to Cayman islands and…he said he’s in love with me.

Is this his way of breaking up with me? Man, I fell in love with the manliest man of all times, but he’s a total chicken when it comes to confronting someone about how they really feel. It’s one thing saying something and staying by their side, but not saying anything and just leaving, without saying goodbye…it’s plain stupid.

I called him again, and as always, no answer.

Is he even still alive?

I was way too nervous to do anything else, I just wanted a sign from him, just so I’d know that he’s okay, that we’re fine and that nothing happened. That’s it. Am I asking for too much?

He was in class, he told me he’d be working early for the rest of the week. He’s in class now, maybe that’s the reason why he isn’t answering. But he would’ve seen countless missing calls from me, he’d call back, he would. Or was I just fooling myself around?

I got out of my room and needed a good cup of good coffee to calm myself down a bit. I’d say I was exaggerating, but I think anyone would freak out in my shoes. Right? Victor had an exam, Jules was at work, she changed shifts, and I was alone. Alone and still wearing his shirt. It didn’t feel like he was with me anymore.

If he doesn’t answer by tonight, I won’t say anything to Victor, or Jules or even my mom. There could still be hope for fixing this up. I didn’t want to disappoint them so early in a relationship, so they’d end up hating him. I don’t want them to hate him. I wanted them to love him, as much as I did...and still do. I wanted them all to meet and talk and embrace the family love Armie’s probably never gotten from his mother, but he will from Nicole and Victor, for sure.

Couple of hours had gone by and there was still nothing from him.

It’s unusual and weird for him not to call me back or at least text me, that’s the part I don’t understand. He told me he loved me, he told me he’d call me and now…nothing. I’m so confused. What did I do wrong? My head is about to explode. Millions and millions of thoughts were going through my head. I can’t continue soothing myself with “He’s working” or “He’s asleep”. Yes, he is working, but he can still call. His work has never stopped us before. And he’s not asleep, he’s in class.

Fuck it.

I got my phone out and texted him instead of calling this time.

_“Dude, I understand you’re busy and everything, but I’d appreciate a text at least, just so I don’t worry where you are and if you’re even still alive.”_

He replied back a minute later. My heart stopped when a little ding popped up on my screen and when I saw his name.

_“I’m fine. Everything is okay, don’t worry about me.”_

The text seemed very cold. And odd. I was not satisfied with it. Give me more Armie. We did so many things together, deep things, twisted things. I deserve a better answer. I texted him again.

_“Did something happen? Did I do something to upset you?”_

He replied almost immediately. He had the phone in his hands, he can see the number of times I had called him.

_“You didn’t do anything. Yes, something happened. I can’t talk about this now. Please give me time and space to think about it. Thanks.”_

Now that’s just plain…I don’t know. It bit my heart. His words actually bit through my skin and all the other organs and cut deep through my heart. But what happened? What could’ve possibly happened hours after I left? Should I text him back? To ask him what happened? But he did say that he can’t talk about it now. I need to know what happened in order to give him time and space, it could be something involving me. What if it’s his family? Maybe his brother said something to their mother and she flipped out on Armie? Jesus…that’s my fault. Please…I’m scared of a woman I never met before, and if God’s good, I’ll never meet her…ever.

I thought about going to his University, or going to his place to see where he is, and if he wants to talk about this. It confused me so much because we were so good a day ago, and now he needs time and space away from me. Why? What did I do wrong? I want to fix it, but I don’t know how…where to start? What did I do wrong?

It’s scary because this could be our last interaction, that could’ve been our last text, our last call, our last kiss…it must be me! My God, what am I gonna do now? He won’t talk to me. I should give him time and space, yes, but I need reasons and explanation.

This has been one of the worst days ever. I couldn’t wait for it to end. I was hopeful he’s gonna call soon and we’re gonna go back to where we started. But he didn’t. Not a single sign of him. I’d take long naps and cry before I’d drift off to sleep or the second I’d wake up.

The entire day went by in sleeping, crying and over-thinking.

Eventually I fell asleep at midnight, giving up completely, still hoping he’ll at least text in the morning.

Another day, and still no answers from him. I guess it’s finally over. A tear ran down my face and after that one tear, another million had followed it. I couldn’t stop crying, and I just opened my eyes. How did we get here? I was the happiest kid in the world two days ago and now I don’t know how to react or whether or not I should react at all. It’s frustrating. I was crying into his pillow. Not only did it still smell like him, now it had tears to soak up inside of it.

It was Friday. Mom is coming home. She’ll arrive around 5 pm. I can’t wait to see her. Her hug and her voice would really help at the moment.

Shit, it was Friday. I was supposed to pick up our results at the lab yesterday. I was too busy being caught up in my head that I totally forgot about those. I got up, refreshed up a bit, got dressed and went straight to the lab.

When I walked in, I saw that Rene was working on the front desk. She greeted me and I hugged her. I told her that I mixed the days and that’s why I couldn’t come sooner for the results. She said it was okay and sat behind the desk, typing something and printing out our papers.

Rene handed me the papers with a smile, I knew the news were good. Timothée Chalamet - _negative_. Armie Hammer - _negative_. A sigh of relief left my body. I thanked her and walked out of there crying. Crying because we’re both healthy and we can have raw and real sex finally. And crying because…I was sad. This was wonderful news and he’s not answering me. He wants time and space for something. I wanted to call him and tell him that we’re both negative and healthy but I couldn’t. I knew he wouldn’t pick up. That’s the sad part.

Instead of turning left to go back home, I stopped. He’s never gonna talk unless I pressure him and push him into a corner. Exactly. He’s gonna sing when I’m done with him. I should never let myself suffer for something like this. I deserve to know, I’m a part of this relationship as well. I want to know, I need to know. So I turned right and found a taxi that drove me to his University. I am done playing nice and giving time and space when I don’t know why am I even doing it. Screw it.

The taxi takes me in front of the main entrance. I told the woman on the front desk that I am here to see the professor for a project. She told me where to find him but I already knew where his office was.

I held onto those two pieces of paper, ready to give them to him, expecting a happy reaction.

I knocked on the glass door. His voice on the other side said to come in. I did.

“Hope this doesn’t make me look desperate…” I joked. This is the second time I’ve been here and used the same joke at the entrance.

He was sitting in his chair. He stopped typing when I walked in. Armie still looked good but he put me through mental hell for the last 36 hours, so I had to remind myself of that instead of jumping back into his arms again. Armie looked like he has been not sleeping; he had puffy eyes and dry skin. Was he crying? Did he give up on himself? His hair didn’t look that perfect anymore. He was growing a tiny beard. I couldn’t believe that the same person that promised to take care of me and love me is the same person that is sitting now in front of me and has been avoiding me for the past one and a half day.

“Tim…hi…” He looked beyond shocked when he saw me. He didn’t actually expect of me to show up, did he? It looks like he’s gone pale and forgot what was going on.

Silence. He’s just looking at me. I closed the door and stood there, waiting for him to say anything. But nothing came out of his mouth. Armie was still getting over the fact that I came to his work place after being ghosted for almost two days.

“You didn’t call or text. I was worried.” I began.

“Sorry about that.” His voice is shivering, eyes watering up. He really is sorry. What the hell happened? He looks sad. He looks tortured. I was as well.

I crossed my arms on my chest, I mean it seriously.

“It’s okay. I know you said I should give you time and space, but first, I need to know what happened.” I said. He’s paying attention to my words.

“I can’t talk about that here now, Tim.” He breathed out and rubbed his eyes. He was tired.

How is this the same man I shared everything with? Was it all just a game?

“Can we go somewhere else and talk?” I suggest. It’s better than talking in his office where people could come in and interrupt us. It would be better if we were to just move away from a crowd, go to either his place or mine, we can talk and sort things out. I really want to get to the bottom of it. A part of me is glad that he’s alive and that he’s got an explanation why he acted the way he did. But is it still my fault?

“I don’t think so.” He said and wet back to typing. What? Fuck off.

Silence. I’ve had it enough. I’m gonna get everything out, I don’t care if I cross the line. I don’t want to take it anymore, I didn’t deserve this, I didn’t sign up for this. Yes, I knew he was fucked up but so was I, we both still are, but I don’t understand this behavior. We always used to open up about whatever was bugging us on the inside.

“Armie? What the fuck? Two days ago, you were all over me, you fucking said you loved me so fucking much. You wanted me to meet your brother, and you talked about summer vacations. You seemed fine when I left, and when we were texting later on. I’ve never asked you for anything, I was with you when you were crying in the bathroom and when you were emotional after we slept together for the first time. I was by your side, keeping an eye on you, listening to whatever you had to say, advising you…sometimes. What happened? Was I wrong to feel special next to you? I think you a least owe me an explanation.” A tear slid down my cheek when I finished pouring my heart and soul out.

Silence. He knows I’m right, he knows he’s defeated. There is no more use running away.

“You’re right. And I’m sorry for ignoring you. Trust me, nothing has been harder for me. But it’s something I had to do.”

I’m slowly giving in as I pulled the chair out and sat opposite him.

“Tell me. Tell me and we’ll sort it out. It can’t be that bad.” I speak softly, trying not to cry. This is it. He’s gonna tell me. It can’t be that bad, seriously.

Armie made a face that almost broke my heart into pieces. Something bad happened. I can see that he’s torturing on the inside, I can see that he can’t wait to tell me but something is holding him back. I can see that I was the first person that crossed his mind when he wanted to tell me what happened. But for some reason…he couldn’t, and he didn’t.

I wanted to take his hand in mine and squeeze it, telling him that he has my full support and that I’ll be with him no matter what. That is…if it is something that can be fixed, and if he wants me in his life to help him sort things out.

What if he wants us to break up? Then what? Him ignoring me is because he wants me out of his life…please God, no! Don’t do this to me! I thought we were happy and in love…was it all a hoax? Was he just toying with me? Was he just pretending to love me and just wanted to fuck me? Jesus…no…please. I can’t be this paranoid.

“Before I tell you, just know that I don’t know where I stand right now, my mind is in every single fucking corner on this planet. I don’t know what to do, or what to think or how to sort things out.” His voice was still shivering, he was on the verge of crying. I wanted to hug him and calm him down and then I’d give him time and space to compose and talk to me.

Something did happen. Is it fixable? Does he want me out of his life? But why? I thought we were happy and in love. He sure act like he was. Or was it all an act? An act? Armie?

“Okay, I get that. First I need to know why you were behaving the way you did.” I said.

He inhaled and exhaled. And then he flat out said it.

“On Wednesday after you left, couple of hours later, Sarah called me.”

Sarah?

“She’s pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we all freak out together, remember, there is the second part and it's coming tomorrow.😘  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	30. Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy have the talk after Armie shared some news with Timmy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning loves!! Honestly, i thought i wanna get a mad reaction from yesterday's chapter, i thought some od you would give up on me and cancel me and the story. I am relieved lol. But, these chapters right here were the ones that have been playing in my head even before i decided to write the first chapter and start a fanfic, that was three months ago. I am so excited to see your reactions on the chapters to come. Have a great Friday, stay safe! Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️

My heart stopped. I’m feeling dizzy and sick. My head is falling into my lap. This can’t be fucking happening. Who the fuck is fucking with me and my fucked up life? Why can’t I catch a break?

“What?” I asked again. I don’t think I heard it right the first four times he told me.

“She…she…she is pregnant. I think.” He breathed out.

“You think?” I am confused. How can he think? How can someone think that someone is pregnant? They either aren’t pregnant or they are. What the fuck?

“Yes Tim.” His voice is now low.

Oh my God, what is going on here? I thought that he’d say it’s something we can work out.

“How can you think that…”

He stood up, he started walking back and forth.

“I don’t know, I don’t know…fuck Tim!” Armie practically screamed. It made me squirm in my spot. He’s pulling his own hair, hyperventilating.

“Why are you yelling at me for?” I asked him softly, the only way I know how.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, sorry.” I could see that the reason why his eyes were puffy it’s because he was crying. He’s crying now again.

So this is what happened. His ex girlfriend is pregnant just when his relationship with another person was blossoming, and now…he’s ignoring me because he didn’t know how to tell me otherwise.

“Let’s just…breathe for a minute. Tell me what happened. How did she tell you, how did you react?” I said, I tried staying calm because he couldn’t.

“It’s not important now.” He breathed out and wiped his tears.

“Is this why you have been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding. I was in shock. I didn’t even go to work yesterday. I couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t know what to do…”

“And instead of letting me know that you’re alive you just kept on ignored me…”

I couldn’t believe how fast we were falling apart.

“I was just…I started a new life, with you. And now there’s gonna be a child out there that I made…I can’t…I can’t just abandon it.” He said and rubbed his eyes. I could understand what he was going through but not really.

“Nobody is asking you to do that.”

He sat back down and looked at me. This is not the same man I fell in love with. This one is suffering internally. He looked awful.

“But I can still make it work. You and her.” He said, and tried smiling.

I backed away from him, frowning. This is a bigger problem than I originally thought it would be.

“Me and…who?”

“Sarah.”

I frowned again. Is he taking me for a fool. Fuck that. I stood up.

“Are you fucking serious?” I yelled at him, not caring if someone were to hear me.

“What?” He looked confused.

“You think I’m gonna let you bounce from me to her?”

“It’s not you and her…it’s you and the baby. I have to be a father to that baby.” This is ridiculous. This is how he’s trying to soothe me. Doesn’t he know that after being ignored for two days he already nailed this relationship to the ground. It is dead now.

“And I salute you. But I won’t be a part of it.” This is me being honest and protecting myself first. I will not take this. Not my idea of a good relationship.

“No…what?”

“If you want to be a dad, then…by all means, go ahead. I will not stay in your way…but I will not stay with you either.” My voice was trembling now. I am ready to burst, it’s been bubbling up inside me ever since he didn’t answer my first call two days ago.

“Why not?” Now he stood up too.

“Because I did not sign up for this Armie. You are so fucked up, dude. You don’t know what you want.”

It might hurt but I don’t care, I was hurting too.

“Yes I do. I want you.” He raised his voice and then softened it.

“And as long as your ex and the child are involved, I don’t want you.”

Silence. He wanted to try and say something couple of times but he backed off instead. But really, what can he say to that? Nothing. We are done.

I’m gonna miss him, but as long as there’s somebody else pulling him down, he will never rise with me.

I will not let him. I began nurturing sort of hate for the man I thought loved me so much.

“You do realize you just destroyed our entire relationship?” I said and wiped my tears.

“I didn’t, there’s still a chance for us.”

“There isn’t. I won’t let it.” I shook my head.

He couldn’t believe it. What did he expect from me? How did he play this scenario in his head? How long did he think he was gonna continue ignoring me? Did he really think he could ignore me for days and would just let me die of worry because he’s not answering? Did he plan on ignoring me for nine months, until that baby is born and then he’ll pop up like everything is okay? Not even nine months, maybe 18 years. If I didn’t come to him, would he ever reach out for me? If I didn’t come to him, would we ever talk again? I mean, really…how did he plan this? This is bullshit.

“I am done Armie, I am so fucking exhausted. You do realize that for two whole days I went through hell and back, waiting for you to call or text or give me a sign that we’re okay and that you’re okay. I haven’t slept in two days, I’ve been crying all day long, I haven’t eaten anything, I’ve only cried and slept for hours. And I was thinking about you and where you are, and I even had an idea to come here or to your place to see if you were even alive. I kept thinking what did I do wrong for you to ignore me like this. I rewind the film again and again, trying to find a mistake I made, if I said something I shouldn’t have. When all along…it was not me. It was you. You’re the one who can’t make up his mind.” I breathed out in the end.

He nodded. I knocked him down. There was nothing that could take him out.

“It would’ve been easier if you were just playing with me.” I added.

“I am not…”

“No, I don’t mean this. I meant the fact that you pretended to love me and just wanted to fuck me. It would’ve been easier.”

Armie shook his head fast, he resent that, he resent everything I said. Let’s try and believe him.

“Never, Tim, no…I love you, I really do. And our relationship wasn’t just about sex.” He said, getting up, coming closer to me.

I wanted to slap him and kiss him, at the same time.

“ _Wasn’t_. Good. Past tense.” I breathed out.

He breathed out as well. Armie closed his eyes and was biting his lips as to not say anything.

“I don’t want to make you choose between your child and myself. But I am stepping down. I am done. I am tired, and I want to sleep, and my mom is coming tonight…”

He interrupted me.

“Oh right, she is.” He smiled.

“Yeah. You were supposed to meet her but I’ll make something up.”

Silence. Everything is ruined. I didn’t want to fight this because he already made his decision.

“I’m sorry Tim.”

“Yeah, me too.”

I nodded, looking at the ground, watching my tears falling on the floor.

“Tell me how did you found out.” I said and looked up. Armie breathed out and sat back down on his chair.

“She um…she called me to come over to her place and pick up some of my things I left there while we were still dating. She didn’t know what to do with them, so... I went there, didn’t even plan on staying for more than 10 minutes. Before I left, I went to the bathroom and I saw the pregnancy test wrapped in a toilette paper on the ground, next to the trash bin. I opened the paper and saw that it had a plus on it.” He said.

Really? How dumb can a person be? Is he being serious?

“Did she say anything?” I already cracked the mystery. How come a man of his intelligence didn’t?

“No. I didn’t tell her that I saw the test. But she wanted me to find it and to question myself and to questions our break up.”

What the actual fuck Armie?

“Are you?” I asked, fearing the answer to that.

“It’s working.”

I inhaled and started crying. I covered my face with my hands.

“Oh, shit…this isn’t happening…” I muttered through tears. But I wanted to laugh at him first.

He stayed silent. I bet he wanted to come over and hug me. I wouldn’t let him.

“You’re gonna get back together with her, aren’t you?”

Of course he is.

“Probably. Because of the baby.” He said and rubbed his face again.

And just like that…I got cut off from his life.

“So what now?” I asked him eventually.

“I’m sorry Tim. I have to stay here and be a father to that child.”

“Do you want it?” We both knew the answer to that.

Silence. It was enough.

“I thought so.”

I looked around the place, whimpering. Get it together, I need to hold my shit together, I can’t have a break down now.

“Look, I’m gonna be completely honest with you. I want you, I really do, but I want only you, and not your child with you or your ex attached to it. No, just you. I’m sure your kid is gonna be great and all but the fact that you changed your mind so quickly, from being with a guy to being a father to a child, and plus, you ignored me because you couldn’t confront me…I know babies are everything, but right now, I can’t be your number one priority as long as there’s a child involved. And I think you already made your decision, so I don’t have a place in your life anymore.” I admitted. That’s how I felt. There’s no use fighting this.

“Tim, I get that, I really do. But I don’t see why we can’t work out in the end. I wouldn’t be mixing a baby and you. I wouldn’t.”

“It doesn’t matter. You are still a man with a child. And I don’t want that!” I yelled at him.

Armie falls silent. He knows I’m right.

“I had this delusional dream that the only child that should be in our lives, is our own. But…delusional, like I said.” I muttered.

“I had that same thought, Tim…and it’s not delusional."

We smiled at each other. I was still sobbing and his eyes were just filling up with water.

I couldn't believe this was the same man that promised me all those things, who said all those things, who made me feel like...I've never felt before. I fucking let him in, i let him destroy me and my life, i let him between my legs, i let him into my home, into my bed...and this is how he repays me? It doesn't make sense! He told me he loved me, and why isn't anyone listening? I love him, i really do, but i don't want to do this, i don't want him 50% of the time, 50% of his strength and energy, 50% of his love. I won't let it. 

I was very surprised how calm i looked and stayed when i knew that as soon as i walk out, I'm gonna crumble and destroy myself and my body with tears and sadness.

He's calm as well. He's not thinking straight. He's not thinking at all. But i know he's sad as well. 

Is this how we're saying goodbye to our relationship? So calmed and composed. It makes me think what was even there to destroy ourselves about. 

Don't fool yourself kid, there was a lot, more than you think. 

I am gonna burst, i need to be alone. I can't look at him anymore, just say what you've got and go.

I'll cry later. 

“Since, this is it…” I inhaled and talked.

“It’s not…”

“It is. And don’t interrupt me.”

He nodded and let me talk. What I’m about to say may shock him, but the fact that he didn’t figure it out sooner…that was a shock for me.

“Since this is it, I have something for you on my way out. You, Armie Hammer are literally the smartest person I have ever met. The smartest person I was lucky to have in my life, and…love…even if it was just for a while. But right now, you sound like the dumbest person ever.” I chuckled through tears.

“Excuse me?” He frowned.

“Yeah. You said you saw the pregnancy test wrapped in a piece of toilette paper on the floor? You think she put that out for you to find it accidentally, hoping you’d snoop behind her trash bin to find it, yet she never said anything about it to you, she never acted like she wanted you back or was all over you? You think she did that to win you back, yet she’s silent? Okay, here is what I think. Two things: either she really is pregnant and the baby is yours but she doesn’t want to keep it. Hence the wrapped and hidden test next to trash bin, it must’ve fallen out because If she wanted you to find it, she wouldn’t go to that extent to hide it that cleverly. Which means, she wants to terminate the pregnancy. Or, the other thing is…the baby is not yours.”

I felt very proud when I finished. His eyes moved from mine to a corner. Yup, he is thinking for the first time in two days. I know he’s probably hurting but hey, I was too, and he hurt me on purpose. Not with the “I have to be a father to a child that probably isn’t mine”, but with ignoring me for 48 hours.

“Ask her, she’ll tell you the truth.” I said and inhaled deeply, then exhaled.

Armie was silent. I know that the first thing he’s gonna do is call her, when I leave him.

“Oh, and by the way…” I wiped my eyes off again and formed a forced smile on my face as I was fiddling with something in my pocket.

His eyes are now back on me. He’s starting to panic. He knows I’m right.

“This is for you.” I got his results out and opened the paper so I could hand it to him easily.

He looked up.

“Congratulations. You’re negative.”

He read that paper and I saw that he was a little bit relieved, there was a genuine smile on his face.

“Thank God…” He whispered to his chin. He probably thought I won’t notice.

I turned around and grabbed the doorknob.

“What about you?” I heard him asking, his voice was now softening.

“Don’t you worry about me.”

I opened the door.

“Nobody ever does.”

And I closed the door and left his office. And his life. Finally.

I heard him calling for me but I didn’t want to turn around or to face him. I am done. Done.

I calmly walked out of the building, grabbed a taxi that took me back to safety, in the comfort of my own home.

I don’t have time to worry about what just happened. I need to go home and prepare everything for my mom’s arrival. There’s so much to be done. I need to clean out the guest room, to get the stuff out and make a bed, vacuum the carpet, clean the window, empty everything that it’s not needed. She’s gonna be staying with us for the next seven days, everything has to be perfect for my mom.

What am I gonna do about Armie?

Nothing.

He’s not important right now.

I composed a mental plan about dinner, since Armie was supposed to join us. I’ll tell them that Armie is coming, he’s coming for sure, he let me know that he can’t wait to meet my mom and have a dinner with us. He’s definitely coming. But then, when he doesn’t show up, I’ll make up a phone call and tell them that he couldn’t make it, that there was an emergency he had to run off to. If I say it now that he’s not coming, they’re gonna ask me why not or what happened or…are we okay. When I pump something good, it will look like we’re all fine, but in the end…Eventually, in three or four days, I’ll tell them that we broke up, and I’ll tell them the truth. This way, they’ll know not to expect too much.

It was 2 pm when I got home, Victor was already there, Jules should be home in an hour.

I went straight to the bathroom and as soon as I took a look at myself in the mirror, I felt sick. I kneeled in front of the toilette and began throwing up. I am so sick. I’m sick thinking this could be a good thing, finally…something good happening to me. It’s a joke. I was deluded. And look where I am. I am throwing up because I can’t handle the stress, the anxiety, the sadness. My God, I was so stupid thinking Armie and I could work out. Jesus. He was still a baby in this new world, he has no idea how to act, or what to say. How could I’ve been so delusional about him. He’s a stranger to me, it started like that but then we “fell in love” with each other. I am sure he cares about me but he didn’t seem very reluctant when she called him, when he found the test because, according to him, she wanted him to find it and get back together with him. I am now questioning everything he did for me, everything he said. If he wants to get back together with her so easily because of a baby, then I have to question him as a person. He doesn’t know what he wants. I get that he wants to be a father, good, I won’t stand in his way. But there are better ways of breaking up than ignoring. I don’t hate Sarah or the unborn baby, or even Armie, I hate the fact that I thought something good was finally happening to me, and then it was such a knock on the head, where the fuck are you going. I don’t hate anyone, I’m just tired of failing all the time. I know he didn’t do it on purpose, and I respect that he wants to be a dad first, but I don’t want him as a dad, I want him all alone, no strings attached. Easily. If I can’t have it here, then I’ll look somewhere else. I wish them all but luck and good health. All of this would make perfect sense if the baby was actually his. I won’t debate on that in my head anymore. Even if it isn’t…I’m still sticking to my decision.

After I felt like I was done, I washed my face and headed outside and began cleaning the room. Victor helped, a little, he fetched me the sheets and the vacuum cleaner, but I did the rest. It felt good, it took my mind of things. I’d find myself stopping and simply sobbing. Fuck, I was so happy. Am I ever gonna feel this happy ever again? Probably, but not any time soon. I passed all my exams, I was negative on the STD test, my mom was coming…this is good, this is all good, why can’t I be happy with these little things? Because for the last couple of weeks, Armie has been my world and everything I did was for him, with him and because of him. And now he’s gone. He’s just gone…

I was cleaning the guest room for almost 2 hours. When I finished and walked out, Victor told me that he and Jules were gonna drive to the airport and wait for mom to arrive.

“You wanna join us?” Jules asked.

I told them I didn’t want to because there’s a lot more to be done around the place. They left and I curled up on a chair and began crying. I miss him already, I miss him so much. When I checked my phone to see what time it was, I saw that I had a text from Armie.

_“I’m sorry. Can we talk again soon?”_

Yeah, I am sorry too. I am sorry I rushed into this so quickly. I am sorry I thought it was my time to be happy and to be in love. I was tricked, I was played, I was stupid.

 _“I don’t think so.”_ I hit back harder than him.

I brushed it off and continued cleaning my room. I threw everything in a washing machine and changed the sheets. I had to get him out of my system. It broke me to throw away everything that smelled like him. Everything except the shirt. I put it in a plastic bag and hid it in the deepest part of my closet. I emptied my bag and threw away dirty laundry and kept the bottle of lube. If I go off my mind soon, maybe I’ll use it when I go out and pick some random guy up in a gay club. My room was cleaned, the guest room was ready, the kitchen was cleaned as well, I took the food Jules made out, I set the table, got the glasses out, got the utensils out. Everything was ready. Everything was perfect. But I didn’t feel good.

An hour later, they came home.

“Timothée!” My mom raised her voice when she saw me. When she walked through the door, she rushed to hug me.

“Hi mama!” I hugged her back tightly, lifting her off the ground. She was shorter than me. That hug was what I needed.

“How are my love?” We parted and she cupped my face with her lovely hands.

“I’m good, mama.” I said and caressed her hands on my face. And kissed them afterwards.

I’m an excellent liar.

“Good.”

We gave her some space to rest and relax. We made her coffee, she drank some juice and was talking about work and San Francisco and how she couldn’t wait to come here and see us. She talked and talked and when she and I were left alone, she grabbed a chance and asked me what I dreaded the most.

“So, hun…is Armie joining us?” She asked me as I was making myself comfortable sitting next to her.

“Yup. He’s coming around 7 pm. He can’t wait to meet you.”

“Oh, the feeling is mutual.” She smiled.

I hate lying to her but it’s for everyone’s sake.

“Okay, I’m gonna go and unpack, and shower. And then we can all have dinner.”

She did just that. She showered and changed her clothes. Victor and I walked in and gave her the present we got for her, and Jules did the same. She didn’t want to shop with us because she didn’t want to mix with her sons, so she got her the perfect gift for a lady, like she said. She loved Jules, she already sees her as her daughter in law. I envied her so much.

At around 07:15 pm, when we sat down, I got asked where is Armie.

“He should be here any moment now. I talked to him an hour ago and he said he’s coming.” I lied. In 10 minutes, I’m gonna act like he called me and told me that he can’t make it.

Five minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Who could that be at this hour?

“Oh, honey, go open the door, that’s probably Armie.” My mom was really excited.

Yeah, okay, let her dream a little.

But when I went and opened the door, it indeed was Armie.

His hair was a mess, he looked sweaty, and he was holding a bouquet of white flowers in his hands.

“Armie…” I was indeed shocked. The last person I expected to see here tonight was him.

“You were right.” He said, voice shivering.

“What?” I frowned.

“It’s not mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting somewhere now huh? 😁  
> Next chapter is coming tomorrow.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	31. A favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie shows up unannounced in front of Timmy's place. What will he do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning loves!! I am so happy by your reactions on the past couple of chapter, i was scared that it'd be nagative feedback, you guys are everything, thank you! Here's today's chapter, we're finally getting somewhere. Happy Saturday, stay safe! Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments. Take care!❤️

I was still trying to come to my senses and come to the terms with the fact that Armie was here, outside my door, in my building. He did look like a mess, but the flowers…what’s all that about? Just when I thought I was done with him, he came right back to me. And this time, with an explanation. The baby is not his.

I closed the door when I stepped out into a dark hallway, but seeing him clearly was all I needed.

“The baby…it’s not mine. I um…I called her and told her about the test that I found, she…she never even wanted to leave it out for me to find it, it must’ve accidentally fallen out of the trash bin. She said that she did take the test and that it’s positive and that she’s pregnant, like I saw it and she…didn’t even…she just said it’s not mine. It’s somebody else’s, that’s when she told me that she’s been sleeping with somebody else even while we were dating. I don’t know how I missed that. She um…she actually knew that she was pregnant couple of days before we broke up and when everything is summed up with us not having sex for a month or so, it’s not mine. She wanted to make sure so she did a paternity test, she took that guy’s DNA and it matched. It’s not mine. She actually…had a fall recently and instead of going to the doctor, she did the test again to see if she’s still pregnant, it came out positive so she is. I don’t get the right to feel upset or betrayed or cheated on, because we both agreed that the relationship was dead for a very long time. I didn’t know she had somebody else on the side. I wished them all well and congratulated her on the pregnancy…” He finally breathed out. He was stuttering and mumbling. I could see that he was either very upset or very drunk. Now it all makes sense. I got him thinking. It’s good that he checked instead of eating himself out for something that isn’t even his.

“How are you?” I asked him when he finished. At the end of the day, I still care about him, I still love him. That kind of love doesn’t just go away like it was never there. The way he looked…that broke my heart, despite everything that has happened in the last two or three days.

“Relieved. Honestly, I am relieved that it’s not mine, but…I had no right to act the way I did. And I had no right to ignore you. And I really am…sorry…” He said. He was moving left and right, his sweaty face was a distraction to me. I could see that he’s not okay, but he’s trying to be a man about it.

“Armie, are you drunk? How did you get here?”

“Oh, I walked. Yeah, I um…I walked for a while, then I stopped at a bar and had a couple of…drinks. I don’t know how many. Then I stopped at a flower shop. I got your mom white calla lilies. I told the lady I don’t know what I should get, and that roses are too basic. I told her that I am getting flowers because I am meeting my…future mother in law…yeah…I think I overstepped a bit. She pointed at the calla lilies and I got them. I hope your mom likes them…” He extended his arm as to show me the flowers. Armie was so close to crying. Again, he’s trying to be a man about the entire situation.

Future mother in law. Jesus. My heart stopped when he said that. I don’t know what to say, honestly.

“Tim, I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I hate myself for saying all those things and for ghosting you out. You were right, you never asked me for anything and now I let you down. And I know you hate me and you don’t want anything to do with me, but please…please…give me a second chance.” Armie, a big man that he is, broke down in front of me. He wasn’t sobbing, he was just letting every word out exhaling. On one hand, I get that he’s relieved that the baby situation is over, but on the other hand…he’s asking for a second chance and I don’t think that’s a good idea. He hurt me. Intentionally.

“Armie I don’t know…” I crossed my arms on my chest and shook my head slowly.

“Please, this will never happen again, I swear. I got scared because I felt like someone’s been fucking with me. I’m finally being me and I was finally happy and with you, and then the past…almost took me down. it’s not fair! You can’t hate me as much as I hate myself right now…”

Yeah, I get that. I felt the same way he did. I felt like we were finally on our way to something great and then this happened. But hate…I could never hate him.

“I don’t hate you, Armie.” That’s something that can soothe him down. It’s the truth.

“But do you still want to break up?” He asked. There was some hope he was trying to find in my eyes and my posture, but no…it’s better this way.

“Yeah. I do. I think it’s the right thing, for the both of us.”

Armie closed his eyes, disappointed. Inhaled, exhaled and I could read regret on his face.

“Okay, okay…I understand that. I won’t stay in a way of your decision.” He said. I nodded.

Should I just go inside? When is he gonna leave? We broke up, there’s nothing more to it.

“Just know that I really do love you. And what we had was so fucking real and pure…” Armie said. I agreed. It was so fucking real, pure, raw, beautiful and…it was everything. Everything.

“I know. And I still do love you too…” I said. Armie smiled, it made me feel a little bit better. But I just know that once everyone goes to bed, I’m gonna soak my pillows in tears. My chest hurt, my stomach hurts, my entire being aches because he’s standing here in front of me and we’re ending this. Please, let me be wrong.

“What did you tell your family about me?” He asked once he wiped the tears.

“Nothing. I told them you were coming, and I was planning on pretending to have a phone call from you, telling me you’re suddenly not gonna make it.”

Armie smiled proudly.

“Good boy. That’s very smart.”

I smiled back but it wasn’t happiness. I wanted to cry.

“How about this? How about I do you one last favor? If you agree to it, we can part like two normal people later on.” He suggested.

“What’s that?”

“I go in, meet your mom, we pretend like we’re a happy couple in love, I won’t stay long, and then in like 3 or 4 days, you can tell her that we broke up over something I did. I don’t care, blame me. I just…don’t want to leave you hanging tonight. It’s the least I could do after the shit I put you through. It’ll be easy, celebrities do it all the time. They fake the relationship until people start believing they’re together for real and in love…but they’re actually faking it. We can do it.” He smiled afterwards.

I thought about it. I didn’t feel comfortable about lying to my mom and my brother but it’s not like I haven’t lied to them before. We’d have to pull out a great act to convince them that we’re together. It’s not a bad idea but I don’t know. Maybe we can try it. I mean…we still love each other so a part of it won’t be that hard to pull off.

“Okay, yeah. That can work.” I said, a little bit enthusiastically.

“Yeah?” Armie’s smile widened.

I nodded.

“Oh my God, thank you.” He breathed out.

“Just…fix yourself up a bit.” I giggled. Maybe a bit too soon.

“Don’t worry, I have a breath mint with me.” He searched for it in his pockets.

“And comb your hair…” Once I said it, I knew I wanted to do it for him. I knew I wanted to touch his hair and feel the silk underneath my fingers.

“Yeah, yeah…you’re right.”

Armie took a breath mint and put it in his mouth, then he ran his fingers through his hair until it looked better. He fixed his posture, tucked the shirt in his jeans.

“Okay, I’m ready.” He said and smiled.

“Wait.”

I stopped him, my hands on his chest.

”Blow.”

He did. I can’t smell alcohol. Good.

“Okay, you’re good. Let’s go.”

He walked behind me but I was smiling the entire time as well.

“Hey! Look who’s here!” I opened the door and immediately raised my voice to get the crowd in here. Fake a smile. Fake? A smile never left my face. Oh shit…

“Armie! Hi dude!” Victor smiled when he saw him and shook his hand the way guys to it.

“Hey, what’s up!”

Armie smiled at him and then moved to Jules. As always, she was clueless with herself around him. He hugged her again.

“Jules, hi…” He muttered when he hugged her.

“Oh, Armie…hi…hey…” When they parted I saw that she was blushing. Nothing new.

My mom appeared behind all of them.

“Mom…this is Armie.” I said. I was nervous about introducing them finally.

“Oh, it’s _the_ Armie. My son has told me so much about you. He never shuts up about you. I am Nicole.” They shook hands. A smile on her face was genuine, it calmed down a bit.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Nicole. These are for you…” Armie had the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen. He handed her the flowers.

“Oh…calla lilies…” She gasped and put a hand on her chest.

“I hope you’ll like them.” He added when she took the flowers from his hand.

“Oh goodness. I love them. The white ones are my favorite. Come, come…”

He followed her to the kitchen while taking his jacket off and I rushed to take it from him.

“You okay?” I whispered.

He nodded and followed my mother.

We all sat down and began eating. Mom munched on everything because she hasn’t eaten for the last couple of hours. She complemented Jules’ food and Jules was beyond happy. Armie and I sat next to each other, mom sat on the throne of the table and Jules and Victor were on the opposite side of us. I’d catch myself thinking and feeling like that incident never even occurred. We were faking it but at the same time, we weren’t. But then my mom turned to Armie and he got very nervous very fast.

“So…Armie…Timmy has told me you work as a professor at Colombia. What’s that like?” She turned her full attention to him. This is where he needs to stand out.

First he swallowed his meat before answering.

“Well…Nicole…I am still just a substitute teacher but I work like the main one. I don’t have a fixed schedule just yet, I just go whenever they call me. Either way, it’s amazing. I teach philosophy, I don’t know if Tim has told you that…”

“He did…” She nodded with a smile.

“Yeah. I’m waiting for a real position in couple of months. But my students are great, I have a small group that they made where they’d ask for extra classes to be taught only by me…”

“That’s amazing. Why philosophy, out of anything, why her?” She shook her head, mama’s impressed, stunned.

That’s when I saw that Armie’s leg began jumping in one place. I can honestly say I’ve never seen him this nervous. I put a hand on his knee to calm him down and Armie put his hand over mine. The knee slowed down and he wasn’t so nervous anymore. I watched our hands on top of each other, and I intertwined our fingers. It’s like nothing ever changed, our hands belong to one another. The touch of his skin after almost three days, his thumb caressing my palm, my tiny hands in his massive ones…it’s where right things belong.

I am not letting go of him so easily.

“I’ve loved philosophy ever since I was a kid. And before I even grew up, I realized I was a philosopher myself. I am stunned what those people did only because they were bored.” He said and smiled.

Mom was drinking her wine when he said this. And she choked a little.

“They were bored?” She laughed. Oh, he’s gonna win her over now.

“Oh, yes ma’am. Whenever you’d hear about a random philosopher, the text will literally go like this : His name, where and when was he born and what his philosophy was based on. Seriously. You can look it up. Plato believed there used to be a whole world of souls before they’d land inside each and every one of our bodies, that’s why we know what’s left and what’s right, that’s why we know how much is 2+2 even before going to school, that’s why we know that the sky is blue and not red. He said it was because our souls used to live in that world where they’d have some primal education and then they’d go inside our bodies and continue that upgrading that education. He was a bored genius and a nut job, at the same time. It wouldn’t work if he was one out of those two.” He finished and continued eating.

“Amazing. I had no idea. I will look up the others definitely.” She said and looked my way. We exchanged smiles. Mama was impressed with him.

Before dinner came to an end, Victor went outside because he had a phone call and Jules went to the bathroom. It was just us three now. I didn’t think anything would happen.

“So…you two…” Nicole started. I looked her way, eyes widened, praying for anyone who can read my mind to make her stop.

Armie took another gulp of wine and was ready to talk.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Are you happy?” She asked, sipping her wine.

“We are.” He said.

On the biggest surprise of my life, Armie took my hand in his and put them on the table. We’re holding hands in front of my mother. Her eyes fell right on our conjoined hands. So did mine. What is he doing?

“It may sound weird but…I am 26 years old and I’ve never met anyone like your little miracle over here. He puts up with me all the time, good and bad, but he’s…we’re happy. We are happy and pushing it through strong.”

She made no face, then there was a smirk, a smile and then a full teeth-on-sight grin. He’s not only wining her over, he’s doing it the same for me.

"And i don't know if this is appropriate, but to hell with everything..."

He said and turned to look at me. The place was fading away slowly and it was just him and me. Wow he's an amazing actor. 

"I love your son Nicole. Very much. It's been...a month, but I've spent every day with this little human being here. Every single day. We're inseparable. If we're not physically together, we're talking on the phone. If we're not talking, we're texting. Every single day with this little dude here...it's hard not to fall for him." He had a big and beautiful smile on his face. If he's acting, give him the Oscar now! 

Mom was silent, we both looked at her, still holding each other's hands. 

She was still grinning with teeth. 

"Timothée?" My mom asked me. 

"Hm?" 

"I don't hear you talking?" She said, Armie giggled. 

"Oh...yeah...i love Armie too. Very much." 

Armie and i smiled at each other. That was the smile that screamed - I can read your mind and i know what you're thinking about. And we're good. 

“Good. I am happy for you boys. And for your information…Timothée has never shined like tonight. And I’ve known him for 19 years. His eyes sparkle right now. I think this is a sort of conversation, you and I, Armie should be having. Without Tim in a way.” She said. I lost my smile…oh they're gonna tease me now. 

“I tried to. It’s not working. He’ll keep his place here, you simply can’t get rid of him when…” Armie leaned over to her and said this. My mother laughed.

“Okay, okay…” I was annoyed but in a good way. I love that they’re talking about me this way.

“We’re just teasing you babe.” Armie said and messed my hair a little. Are we really doing this in front of my mother?

Jules came back first, and a minute later, so did Victor.

Dinner was over and after that, it was time for dessert. Even before we got our dessert served, Armie leaned over to me and whispered.

“I should go.” His voice seemed harsh. And like a damn music to my ears.

“No. Stay. There’s ice cream.” I said, and I meant it.

“You’re not gonna get another nose bleed on me, are you?” He smirked looking at me. My eyes fell down to his lips. I wanted to kiss him, I haven’t kissed him in three days. My body was aching for him.

“I’m not gonna get…”

Victor brought out ice cream and stopped me from talking to him. We ate our ice cream and they all continued talking. I was deep inside my head. What am I doing? What are we doing? Breaking up? That’s the craziest idea ever. I wished I’d never thought of that. The situation is cleared, there’s nothing stopping us from being happy and there’s nothing in our way anymore. He wants me back, he wants me. I want him. To break up was such an impulsive decision. And so is to get back together. I’ll have to take matters into my own hands, yet again, but he has a lot more to make up for. I am grateful that he suggested the fake relationship, but I don’t want it anymore. There’s so much to talk about.

When everything was over, Armie stood up to help and clean the table. I didn’t want to wait any longer.

“Armie?” I called for him.

“Hm?”

“Come here…” I pulled him into the hallway by motioning my finger for him to follow me. The hallway was empty.

“What’s up?” He said when he showed up.

“You can spend the night here. It’s cold outside for you to walk.”

“It’s okay. I’ll call a cab.” His voice was rough. What if he doesn’t want me anymore? What if I hurt him by what I said earlier?

“No. Stay here, please?” I’m almost begging and pulling his arm to me.

He softened the muscles on his face and I’m relieved only by a little.

“Okay, I will. Just give me a pillow I can sleep on here in the living room…”

“No, you idiot. You’ll sleep in my bed. With me.” I chuckled.

Armie’s eyes widened. Yes! There’s still hope.

“Does that mean…” He came closer to me, he’s hoping as well.

“We still need to talk, but yeah…” I can’t look at him. My eyes go straight to the floor.

“Oh, Tim…thank you, thank you, thank you…” Armie took my hands in his and kissed them several times. I missed his lips anywhere on my body.

He moved his lips from my hands to my forehead. He loves kissing my forehead. His neck was just at my reach but I couldn’t dare to put my lips there. I haven’t kissed him in almost three days. It’s crazy but I missed him so much. It’s insane. I wouldn’t have survived a day without him during the break up.

“I’d kiss you if I could.” He muttered against my skin. We both knew that we wouldn’t be able to stop if we were to start making out now.

“Later.” I said. He walked away because my mother was calling for him.

“Armie?” I called for him again.

He turned around immediately.

“Yeah?”

“I’m also negative.” I said.

Armie smiled with teeth.

“I told you so.”

Yes he did.

“I promise you, we’re not done. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” He said.

“Just…be here…with me…now…we’ll talk about the future later on.”

He nodded.

He left me there in a hallway feeling raw and exposed. Nothing’s changed. We’re back together. Sort of speak. I am now on cloud 9. I’m feeling in love again. The feeling is the same as the one I nurtured when he kissed me for the first time.

Something came over me and I realized that mom is leaving in 7 days, exactly on my birthday, and Christmas would be two day prior to that, that’s in five days. We’re gonna spend all that time together. Together. Like a family.

I got back to the kitchen and watched as they all cleaned the dishes and making the table. Armie and my mom were talking, on and on about something. When they were all done, mom decided to call it a night. She kissed these two, me and Armie good night and she went to her guest room. Victor and Jules were left in the living room and Armie and I moved to my bedroom. We need to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better now?😊  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	32. Green light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim and Armie finally have the talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeyy babies! Sorry for updating late today, i wasn't feeling very well when i woke up and i continued sleeping and now i'm okay! I love, love, love all of your reactions, thoughts and opinions on the previous few chapters, they make me so happy!! Just a while ago i had some new ideas about the future chapters and i can honestly say that this story is gonna have over 50 and maybe even over 65 chapters. i can't wait to continue this story. The next chapter is coming maybe tomorrow or the day after that because i have to write some more. Anyway, hope you'll like this chapter, enjoy it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments! Stay safe and take care!❤️

Armie walked in first and stood by the window; opened it, found an ashtray and took a cigarette out for us to share it. I closed the door. It was dark until he opened the window and the street light and the snow were our only source of light. I knew this will take hours to sort out, but I wanted to do it now, tonight, and when we wake up in the morning…everything will be back to normal. I’m not that type of person that waits for days for an argument to be solved. It’s either now or never.

“So…what do you wanna talk about?” I asked him when I took a cigarette away from him. It’s exactly what I needed. This is why I can’t let him go. He knows what and when I need things.

“I…don’t know. I thought you wanted to say something.” Armie chuckled, he looked confused.

“No…not really?” I shook my head and hummed.

Guess there’s nothing to say anymore.

“How are you feeling?” I asked him after another smoke, then gave it back to him.

“Better.”

“Drunk?”

“Nope. You?” He asked me and handed me the cigarette again.

“Like nothing’s changed.”

We exchanged smiles. I love this. Like nothing ever happened. Except that it did and I was still feeling…uneasy.

“But I do want to talk. I feel like there are some things you’re either not telling me, or you don’t even consider them as a problem, but when you’re in a relationship, they can act as a distraction.” I said. Now or never.

“Yes, I agree…”

“Look Armie…I don’t even know where to begin with how scared I was when you didn’t call or reply. I thought I did something wrong, and I’ve been going through over and over and over again in my head what I did and what I said. I wasn’t scared though, when you told me she was pregnant. I was…I don’t know, I was sad that we’re done…I don’t know. I was upset until you told me the way you found out and all…” I guess there is something to talk about. This is just me getting everything off my chest.

“I know, I know. I couldn’t sleep for days. I really began thinking this is somehow getting back to me because I turned to the other side. Like someone is punishing me.”

Armie put the cigarette out, and quickly light another one. Just what I needed, he knows me so well.

“But I am glad that I was wrong and that there’s nothing connecting me with the past and to her.” He added.

“Me too…”

We smiled again.

“I was only upset because I hurt you, and not because the baby wasn’t mine.” He said. I figured that out a long time ago.

He hands me the cigarette and I inhale a long smoke.

“Here’s the thing. I am…in love with you, Tim. And it’s terrifying. Because whenever I touch you or hold you, I’m afraid I might break you, you’re so fragile in my arms, and I’m scared I’m gonna physically hurt you. You are way too precious to me. But the way I did it to you, emotionally…I hate myself. You didn’t deserve it, you don’t and I…” He breathed out, looking at the floor.

I hate that he feels that way. I cupped his face in my hands for the first time after three days.

“Don’t hate yourself, Armie. I love you. There’s no hate here. I worship you. And we’re way too attached to just…leave it all behind.” His skin is so warm. I can feel his sweaty hair underneath the palms of my hands. I want to wash it, dry his hair, comb it and stroke it all night long.

“I agree…” He snorted and took another smoke. He tapped the rest in the ashtray that was on the window. I let go of his head.

Now it’s my time to be honest, and prevent this ever happening again.

“Look…I know I should be mad and angry and furious, maybe I am, but…dude, you really thought you were gonna be that child’s dad for three days straight. How does that make you feel?” I asked him. He has every right to feel it all.

“You want me to be brutally honest?” He breathed out.

“I do.”

“I didn’t want it. I don’t want to be a father. Not yet. When I saw the test, I thought “Oh shit, she’s pregnant. My life is over.” It made perfect sense that it was mine because I thought, the idiot, that I was the only guy she’s ever been with, at least in the last year or so. Don’t get me wrong, I love babies, I hope to have a bunch one day, but a baby, right now…while I am just now figuring out who I really am and figuring out what and who I love, it’d kill me…especially a baby in a relationship where a mother and a father… don’t love each other, or even like each other, we do care for each other though, at least that’s something…if that was the case, I was prepared to go through so many hard things to give them what they needed. Maybe I’d have loved it through time, but right now…I don’t think so. I was terrified when I got home and began thinking about it. The worst part was…your name kept popping up on my screen, and I did nothing about it. I knew that after everything, I owed you a simple call and a simple explanation. If I were to do that on Wednesday night, you’d tell me same thing you did this morning. I’d call her that very second and clear everything with her. We wouldn’t be losing three days. I don’t know if you were ever in a situation where something horrible happened to you, where time stopped and no matter how many things you wanted to do at the same time that you knew were the things that were crucial in whatever horrible period you were going through…but you just couldn’t move. You were more wrapped inside your devious head…”

I interrupted him. I knew exactly how he felt.

“I was…the first time I went and got myself tested, alone. I had three days to call someone and tell them what I did only to not go through this alone, but I didn’t. Time stopped, like you said, I froze, I was asleep…”

“Exactly. I was…sad and angry these past two days and now…I feel better. A tone was lifted off my shoulder. I don’t deserve you, Tim…I don’t know why you forgave me…” His voice broke. He looked angry and beaten down.

Armie’s head fell down and his eyes were tearing up. I grabbed his head again and looked into his eyes. They were dark blue.

“You know what? This was a bad idea…I’m gonna go.” He muttered and removed my hands from his face. He put the cigarette out and walked away from the window.

Why is he like this? Can’t he see that I’m giving him the green light?

“Armie…hey…don’t go…” I said and grabbed his elbow to stop him.

“I have to. I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

“Do what anymore?” I frowned. I thought we were doing better now.

“Be with you.”

He doesn’t want to be with me. He. Doesn’t want. To be. With me. As many times I’ve repeated this sentence in my head, it doesn’t make any sense. I need answers.

“You don’t wanna be with me?” I repeated what he said.

I let go of his arm. I’m still standing by the opened window, shocked. And he leaned against the wall, looking down at the floor.

“Why? Can you at least tell me why?”

Silence. He’s not looking at me. He can’t. Coward.

“Be a man for once and tell me the fucking truth, instead of walking away every time there is a crisis!”

I scoffed through my teeth.

Silence. I am the only one who is talking.

“Because if you walk out now without any explanation…you can’t come back. I am serious.” My teeth hurt so much I let a tear fall down my cheek. I rush to wipe it.

I am exhausted. I don’t wanna fight this anymore. I am fucking exhausted.

“Tim…” He looks up and sees me crying. He wants to comfort me.

“Tell me. I am not stupid, I will try to understand.”

“Of course you’re not stupid. You’re the smartest kid I know, fuck. Of course I want to be with you, are you crazy, have you seen yourself? You’re so young and beautiful and…my life has changed in the past month or so, because of your impact…” He raised his voice, stating the not so much anymore obvious.

“Then what’s the problem?” I asked him, slowly. I was crying but I wanted to laugh instead.

“The problem is that I hurt you and hurt you badly. On purpose, because I didn’t know how to handle stress. I shut you out and I shouldn’t have done that. I destroyed this relationship…”

“You didn’t destroy it…”

“Yes I did. You said so yourself.” He said as he squats down against the wall, hands in his hair.

“Okay, yes I did. I was hurt back then, I know what I said in a heath of the moment might not matter now, but it did back then. I was hurt.” I said.

“I don’t want you to suffer next to me.” His words didn’t make sense.

“Do I look like I’m suffering? Dude, I let you in, I let you into my life, into my bed, into my heart. I let you meet my family, and eat with us, and now you have the permission to sleep in the same bed as me. Does that sound like a person who is suffering?” Why do I feel like the only one who’s mature here?

“I don’t know.” He breathed out.

“Of course you don’t, Armie.”

He looked at me, his eyes are filling up with water again.

“I’ll tell you the truth, I am not suffering. Yes, I was scared and angry when you didn’t call. I thought it was me, that I said something or did something that upset you. Maybe I’ve crossed the line but…I’m fine now. We’re fine now. It was bad yesterday, the day before, even this morning. But I’m already pass that. You still don’t wanna be with me when all I’m giving you right now are green light after green light after green light?”

Silence. None of us are talking. He’s just staring at me as I’m making my way to go and sit on the bed. I have no idea whether or not we’re breaking up or fighting as a couple. But he did say he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

I’m not even looking his way, I’m way too angry, but I’m way too exhausted to show it. He grunts and gets up. Armie sits next to me.

He doesn’t dare to touch me.

“I want you. In any way that sentence has its meaning. But if you’re not suffering now…you will in the future, and that scares the shit out of me.” He said and I turned to look at him.

“Let’s not worry about the future. It’s now what matters.” I said, softening a little. Is this why he doesn’t want to be with me? He’s scared of the future?

“I can’t promise you…”

“What? That you won’t hurt me again? Are you trying to make me break up with you now for good?” I’m mad again.

“No, I’m not, I’m try-…”

“Bullshit. Spare me whatever it is in your head.”

I turn away from him, he’s silent.

“If you want to go, go, I’m not standing in your way, am I? You know where the doors are.” I said into the air and motioned him towards the door with my hand.

I decided to turn around and continue talking. At least I can tell him the truth in his eyes.

“But know this: you broke up with me because you’re scared that you will hurt me in the future. Does that sound reasonable, rational…real? It doesn’t. And you know why? Because we have absolutely no fucking idea what the future holds for us. We might not make it to tomorrow, one of us might die in our sleep tonight. You could choke on food in the morning, I can get hit by a car. You can move because of your job. I can move for my education. These are all words of the future, could, should, would…we’re only saying them now because we have no idea what can happen tomorrow. You can’t think like that, you can’t. You stayed with me after Miles, and you forgave me…”

“You did nothing wrong worth forgiving.” Armie jumped in.

“And you did nothing wrong here. She is not pregnant with your baby. That’s the past. The only thing you did wrong was…overthink, and you made up this entire new scenario where you broke up with me in your head and ran back to her because of the baby, which, in the end, it turned out not to be yours. And you avoided me. That part is over, how do you not get it?”

He’s not looking at me, his eyes are wandering across the room.

“Armie, look at me.”

He does.

“I want to be with you, you make me feel so special, like I matter, you make me happy, you make me laugh, my mom adores you, Victor loves hanging out with you, hell Jules is smitten with you, I am just waiting for her to scream out your name while they’re having sex.” I chuckle because I couldn’t hold it in. Some humor is what we needed.

“Oh…” He giggles.

“Like you haven’t noticed it.” I smiled.

“I did. And that’s why I keep hugging her, to confuse her a little bit…”

Rude. This is why I love him so much and need him by my side. He makes me smile through the toughest times.

“Oh, you’re an evil man.” I breathed out and giggled a little.

“Maybe, but I’m having fun.”

“See? You’re having fun because you’re enjoying yourself at the moment. Not tomorrow or next week or even next year. So many things can happen, but we can’t stay here, locked up in our own heads because we’re scared of something that hasn’t even happened yet, or may not ever happen.” I said.

Armie nods, looking down at me. He knows I’m right.

“But I am serious. If you want to go, go. I will not stand in your way. I will be heart broken, so will you. I will cry and have melt downs, but if you think you’ll be happier with ending a solid relationship because of something that’s inside your head…”

I looked at my phone for a split second. It was 3 am. I knew it, it went on for hours, and we didn’t stop there.

Armie’s eyes are now fixated on mine. I am dead serious.

“I don’t want to go. I don’t want this to end. You have been the highlight of this fucking year for me. I’ve never felt so happy or alive next to you. I want you all the time, I want to sleep with you, next to you, watch you sleep, you watching me sleep. I want to try everything with you. You’re so hard in my system…I’m screwed. And you are right. You are absolutely right. I can’t be scared of…the future. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t want us to break up and I don’t want to leave. You’re an angel Tim. I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness…”

Tears slide down his cheeks. I took his head in my hands. He looks wrecked, like someone suffering from internal torture. I don’t know if he’s so stubborn or doesn’t trust me when I tell him that I forgive him and that I love him. Or he’s just playing with me.

“I forgave you because I love you, because I trust you, because I want us to work, and because I know we can. And yes, it scared me as well, but there is nothing left to worry about. It’s over, it’s not yours, you’re off the hook…” I whispered against his lips; they were warm and wet. I can’t wait to kiss them again, if he decides to stay.

“It’s over?” His eyes fell down again.

I let go of his head. I’ve had it enough.

“It’s over. But if you want to break up with me and leave me for good, then I think it’s better to do this now. But you better have a good reason for doing it…”

“No…I told you…I am just…but if _you_ want to break up, you’d have a pretty good reason to do so.”

What the fuck? It’s like dealing with a person that suffers from a memory loss.

“And what would that reason be?” I crossed my arms on my chest.

“Tim…I hurt you. I almost destroyed everything because of a big misunderstanding. I wish I had gone to her and told her what I had found out, she would calm me down back then and we wouldn’t be here in this situation right now. We would be sleeping, naked, cuddling, or we would be way too euphoric to function because we would’ve had another round of mind-blowing sex…and instead we’re here. And it’s not just that…I was avoiding you and ignoring you and waiting…my God, I hate myself now. I was waiting for you to just break up with me because I kept avoiding you. I couldn’t have looked you in the eyes and told you that my ex girlfriend is pregnant with my child…” He’s way into his head, even more than me.

“But none of those things happened. Yes, I was hurt, you came out like such a dumbass, honestly…”

“I was. I am.”

“You rushed and almost chased me away.”

He kept nodding, looking at the floor.

“There are your reasons. Now, do you want me here or not?” He looked up and asked me.

I am done.

“Okay, fuck you. Honestly, the fact that you’re still here, after everything, says a lot. And if you don’t see it…what do you want from me? Seriously? You want me to lick your feet and beg you to believe me when I say it’s okay to stay with me? You want a piece of paper with my name on it that tells you I’m fine and that I want you?”

“No…” He whispered.

“Then what? I told you, over the past couple of hours, that I love you and that I trust you and that I believe in us and that you are forgiven. Can’t we just let it go?”

Silence.

“Armie, you’re making a drama out of nothing.” I flat out said it.

“We almost broke up…”

“Yes, ALMOST! But we didn’t. And now we’re talking and sorting things out. You’re scared of the future, you’re scared that you’re gonna hurt me again. Well…if you want to play it that way…I am scared I will get sick and tired of your drama and bullshit and leave you. Does that seem fair? Does it? Because right now…you’re making me rethink my decision.”

His face stiffened, I could tell that he knows how serious I am. He’s just a big baby, making a dramatic scene out of literally nothing.

“If you want to go, go, I told you that already. But I want a good reason. And stuff like misunderstandings and future and drama and bullshit are not fucking working for me. Give me a good and solid reason why we should end this right now. Come on, the first thing that pops in your mind.”

He’s silent. He’s not even opening his mouth to find one bad thing. Because there is none.

“Nothing? I’m not surprised, because there is nothing here to stop us from being together. You’re just overexaggerating and you’re impulsive, and you don’t trust yourself that you’ll be faithful to me…”

He cuts me off.

“No! That I trust. I know I will not be unfaithful to you.”

“See? That’s the reason to break up. But not this.”

He took a long inhale and then exhaled. I can see that he’s way too tired of this as well. He is done too.

I stood up and went to stand close to the window. I come closer to him. He’s leaning on the window and I’m leaning now on him.

“Armie, I love you. You understand that? I love you. And I will not let go so easily.”

He was sweating and crying, silently, without me noticing it.

“Breathe for a moment and then get back to me. I’m going to the bathroom.”

I removed myself from him and got out. It was dark in the hallway, everyone was asleep. It was late. I went into the bathroom, did my business and then I came back.

Armie was still standing where I left him, holding his head in his hands.

“You okay?” I asked him when I closed the door.

He just nodded.

When I stood next to him, he looked up at me.

“I crossed the line, Tim. I shouldn’t have done that. I never should…make stuff up. That part is gone, that part of me is dead, I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I don’t want to live in my head when I can live here…with you. I’m sorry, I am so fucking sorry…”

“That’s better.” I breathed out.

“That part of me is gone, I swear…I am gonna do my best and try to be a better boyfriend.”

I grabbed his head in my hands again.

“It is gone. And whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me. We’ve been through far enough to just let everything fall apart because of a big misunderstanding and because you’re scared of the future. I won’t let it.”

We both chuckled.

“You are everything, Tim, I worship you. I’m lost for words. And I love you.”

Armie looked up at me and we drew silent. I felt my stomach screaming. I already held his head in my hands, his arms held my waist, pulling me closer to him. I’m scared to do anything so I just let my body go and followed my instincts. Armie himself attached his lips to mine. They were wet and hot. My lips are the place where his belong, nowhere else. Armie pulls me closer to him and we deepen the kiss; his tongue is finally dancing with mine. I hug him around his neck, Armie kept pulling me closer like he wanted me to melt into his body.

We part after a while and wipe our lips. We laugh while we do so. Armie caressed my lips with his thumb. We’re good. We continued to share little laughs and smiles, looks and short kisses that felt so damn good at that moment. But I wanted more.

I pull away from him but he keeps me in my place. He hugs me tightly.

“Thank you, Tim. For loving me. For talking sense into me. For not letting me go. And i'm truly, deeply sorry about everything.” He whispers against my neck. I shivered immediately.

“You’re welcome, Armie.

We light up yet another cigarette and smoked it in silence, looking at each other.

I am done talking. I am done with words and emotions. I want something real and physical. And hard. I want more. Everything is back to normal, it only makes sense that we continue where we stopped.

“So…Nicole?” I asked him after a while.

“Wonderful human being. I see where you got everything from.”

“I was shocked when you took my hand in front of her.” I giggled.

“Why? I would’ve done it even deeper but since it’s the first time I’m meeting your mom…”

We laughed.

“How are you, Tim?” He asked me. It made sense that he did.

“Right now. I am tired and happy. I am happy that we can talk and figure things out like two adults in a serious relationship.” I smiled at the end.

We went on and on talking about dinner and my mom. He looked better, happier, calmer. I am just glad that we’re passed that.

After so many cigarettes, Armie took his phone out to check the time.

“Shit. We should get some sleep, Tim. It’s 5 am.” He said and yawned.

“One more thing. I was thinking, now that we’re fine and everything is perfect again…maybe we should…” I said and stood in front of him, already touching his stomach underneath his sweater.

“Tim…” He breathed out against my forehead.

“Armie…”

“Don’t you think we’re rushing a bit? We’ve just got…” He wanted to talk reasonable now, but I didn’t want to listen.

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. There’s no other way I could think of for us to celebrate it.”

“I know but…I just think we’re rushing and that we need time…”

I looked him in the eyes and felt very confident.

“Okay, you can fuck me first and then we’ll get the time we need.”

“Tim…” He grabbed me by my curls and pulled me away from him.

“They say that getting-back-together-sex is the best thing.” I said and smirked at him.

“Oh, do they?” He grinned at me.

“Mhm…wanna see if they’re right?” I bit my lip.

Armie pushes me back away from him. His eyes are locked with mine. What the hell is going through his head? Maybe he can finally see how serious I want this to be and how me, taking him back, awoke something in him because right now, he sees that this is worth everything. He’s only now waking up. Better late than never.

“I trust them it’s the best, but we can do it better, kid. Tomorrow.” He smiled and pulled me towards him again.

“No. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	33. Silent morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their talk, there's only one way to celebrate it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dears! For those of you who are still working during this pandemic crisis, i hope you're safe and please take care of yourselves! And for those who are locked up in your house, like me, stay there and be safe! Hope today's chapter will bright up your Monday and i hope you'll like it. Enjoy it and let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️  
> A little heads-up : i apologize for any grammar mistakes or any mistakes at all in this chapter. You should know that when i wrote this i was on fire, the words were just pouring out onto my screen. I had to edit it at least twice but i kept going back to re-edit it and add more stuff, and, honestly, i couldn't do it the third time because...well...it turned me on, a lot... my own words, Jesus lol.

“And now that we’re fine and everything is perfect again…” I said and was done talking. I’m done talking, I want everything to go back to normal, and we need to celebrate. I know the way to do that.

I attached my lips to his neck and began touching his crotch, rubbing my hand over it to make him hard. He moaned the same second, it’s insane. His scent was still there, but having him in person in front of me meant more to me than anything.

“What, now Tim? We can’t…” He breathed out.

“Why not? When did you think we’re gonna do it?” I’m still nibbling on his skin.

“Tomorrow, when there’s nobody home. Your mom…your brother…they’re all…”

I’m rubbing him harder, it doesn’t take much for him to get a boner when he’s with me.

I pulled out of his neck and slammed my face to his; I’m just super cuddly now.

“They’re all asleep. Come on Armie, please…I need to feel you bare inside me. I haven’t been fucked in two days. I’ll be quiet, I promise, not a soul will hear me. You can always cover my mouth if I’m loud…” I whined, moaning every word out. I need him badly.

“Tim…” He breathed out.

“Come on, I know you want to. And don’t we all deserve a good fuck at the end of the day. A good fuck to celebrate what we just survived…” I breathe out and bite down on his chin and keep on rubbing his cock.

“Yeah, we do…” He breathed out again.

“Hey, you owe me big guy. Now… pants down. I need you.”

Jesus, am I that easy? Am I that easy and naïve to have him back in my bed so soon? Yes. Yes I am. He owes me.

I know he can’t resist me. I never made it easy for him to say no to me. It’s practically impossible. While we’re still young, flexible and can open wide and swallow, why not use every chance that knocks on our door. Besides, I’ve never had sex with someone while there were people in the next room. It adds a new ring of me being sick and twisted. But what’s important for me was that we’re finally gonna have sex without protection. The test is done, the test is negative, and now we can do it bare. I never stopped rubbing him, he needs to get hard.

Armie gently bit my lip and that made me grin, I knew it, he simply can’t say no to me.

“Get on your knees…” He grunted out against my lips.

“Yes sir.”

I obeyed him and kneeled in front of him. His cock was throbbing hard in front of me as I continued rubbing him. Armie put a cigarette between his lips and undid the belt and the zipper, quickly. Everything else was left on me. I looked up and saw that he put off the cigarette we just shared. The second the first glance of skin popped in front of my face I grabbed it and put it into my mouth. He’s hard, but he can go a little bit better than this. He hasn’t even taken his jeans off half to his thigh and I’m already pushing him down my throat.

“Ah! Tim!” Armie screamed out and tugged my hair.

“Quiet…” I breathed out when I popped him out and was only stroking him.

“Shit…” Now he’s whispering.

He was the first one to hesitate having sex with everyone else in the house, and now he’s making all the noise.

I love that he kept his hand on my head and was moving it in the same rhythm as I kept swallowing him. My hands were grasping onto his thighs. We were both still dressed, his cock was the only intimate organ that was out in the light. Oh shit. The window was opened, Armie was standing there and I was on my knees servicing him with my mouth, eagerly sucking him off because I wanted to, because I loved pleasuring him, and because he loved watching me do it, there’s a video of me giving him a blow job on his phone.

I can honestly say I missed him, I missed him inside of my mouth, I missed his taste, I missed the meaty organ tickling my throat, I missed the noise he’s making while I’m on my knees for him and pleasuring him. I’d be crushed if I was to spend another night without him. The last two were just…silent nights, we didn’t talk, I had no idea where he was or what’s been going on, but now that I tried breaking up with him and tried going to bed alone, knowing that everything could’ve gone the other way…I don’t even want to think about it.

Armie’s trying to moan as silently as possible, but I’m still giving it my all to show him just how much I want him. I must’ve looked vile, getting drunk on his cock, constantly pushing him inside me, choking on his full length, sucking and licking the head of his cock, it’s so sick and twisted and I love it. This is probably the real me, wanting to sexually pleasure someone this much, this hard, no boundaries. I’m so turned on by him all the time, in every way possible, I have no filter when it comes to him. Him telling me to get down on my knees just so he could get off on my mouth, I’m there, no questions asked. Because that’s what lovers do, they aim to please, they aim to satisfy their partner, they want to show them that there are no lines that they won’t cross for them. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Armie. Whenever he wants me and how ever he wants me, I am there, and so are my heart and my body.

But it’s beyond sex, it’s beyond licking, sucking and fucking. It goes to the point where I do this because I love him, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for someone I love. In this case, I worship him so there are no lines, no boundaries, no rules. Anything he wants, he’ll get, because I love him and this is my way of repaying him for loving me, and my fucked up being.

Armie’s been caressing my hair and removing the lock of my hair so that I could look up and see him. When I looked up I saw him for the first time in a while; he’s hyperventilating, hissing through his teeth, eyes squeezing shut, then opening up to down on me, he’s trying to be quiet. He is so beautiful when he’s falling apart. And I’ll take all the credit.

Armie grabbed my shoulders gently and pulled me up to stand. I made a pop when I got him out of my mouth. He crushed our lips together. Now he can taste himself from my mouth too. I continue stroking him, he’s already hard.

He took my shirt off and attached his lips to my neck.

“Ah…Armie…” I’m silent but I can’t compose myself when he’s sucking on my neck.

Armie’s still ruining my neck and at the same time, he’s undoing the zipper on my pants. He pulls them down only by a little but it’s enough for my hard cock to spring out. His hand is already around it and he’s stroking me as well.

What he did next surprised me so much. He stopped eating away my neck and took me in his arms, he carried me like a bride across the room. I giggled while he carried me to the bed and threw me on it. He didn’t put me down gently, he simply threw me on the bed. I love it. Armie turned around and closed the window, then he undressed himself; he was naked now. I was lying on my back with my jeans only half way down, staring at him, grinning at this gorgeous man. Armie smiled back at me but I could read that he had a twisted plan on his mind.

Armie turned me on my stomach and pulled off my jeans and the boxers I had on. He threw them away and raised my butt in the air, he was kneeling on the floor. I couldn’t turn around to see what is he doing, I was lying flat on my stomach, waiting for him to either finger me or just enter me. I wouldn’t want to wait either. But he was a weird one I never managed to read, and he indeed was eager to experience deeper and harder. He caressed my butt cheeks for a while, spread them and pushed his tongue in between.

“ARMIE! FUCK! OH…” Yup, I could bet my life on anything that they heard us. Hell, I’m sure everyone who was passing outside the window heard me. I couldn’t hold it in when he tickled me with his tongue. I breathed out into the dark night. It’s so fucking good. I’ve never had this done to me, ever.

Armie stopped. I turned around to look at him. there was fear written all over his face.

“Tim, Jesus…be quiet…” He was indeed scared, that’s why he stood up and went to lock up the door to my bedroom. If someone were to come in, they’d have to knock first and we’d have enough time to just put something on top and jump into the bed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, God…I didn’t…expect that…” I breathed out and I pushed my body a bit further to grab a pillow to stuff my face into.

Armie kneeled down again and continued to rim me, pushing his tongue inside, wanting to breach me deeper and I was sure I was opened up for him to just push right in, I kept arching my back into his tongue. I wanted to ride that tongue so badly. I cried out how good it felt, biting on the pillow, pushing it down my mouth just to shut my moans. I really hope nobody hears me this time, but my God…Armie’s really getting it, he can’t really convince me he’s never done this before. He’s squeezing and pulling my skin because I tried running away a few times, my legs felt like they were being poured by some hot liquid, my stomach hurt because of how hard I was and how I kept on getting harder every time he’d stuff his tongue there. He’d fuck my hole with his tongue, then he’d push a finger in there, and I’d moan on that move as well, and then he’s back at rimming me. I taught him well, he came because of it in the shower. There’s no need for lubricant, his saliva is enough.

“Armie…” I moaned into the pillow.

I felt him smirk against my wet skin.

“You like this babe?” He asked and pushed a finger inside me.

I looked behind me, separating from the pillow, eyes watery.

“I fucking love it!” I breathed out.

Armie’s looking at me as he pushed another finger inside me. He’s moving two fingers at a very slow and brutal paste.

“Ah! Let me come like this, please…” I moaned into the pillow again.

“Not a chance kid. Hold it in.”

I hate him for this. I love him for this.

“Armie…”

He pulls his tongue and his fingers out.

“Where’s the lube?” He asked, caressing my butt cheeks.

“No…just go…” I grunted, already preparing myself for the pain.

Armie hovers over me and grabs my hips with one hand and embraces my chest with the other one. He lifts me up, now I’m kneeling, my back pressed against his chest. Armie rather violently grabs my jaw and crushes our lips together. His hairy chest is tickling my back, he’s sucking in my saliva, my tears, everything I’m letting out of the holes from my face. We separate quickly and his teeth are back on my neck. I moan softly and wet my own hand, I spit on my palm and reach from behind to coat his hard cock. I cover the entire tool.

“Fuck, Tim…” Armie hisses against my skin.

When I think he’s ready I let go of his cock and went back to my original position; butt in the air, hugging a pillow.

“You ready for me babe?” He asks behind me.

“Please…” I grunt against the pillow, failing as to keep my tears at bay.

“Please what?”

“Please, Armie…fuck me…” I turn around to look at him. He needs to see me to know how serious I am.

“You want me to fuck you?”

What a fucking jerk, he’s teasing me now! Now! When I need him the most.

“Please! Fuck me…ruin me…hurt me…do anything you want with me…I’m yours.” I meant every single word I said. Do as you want with me.

I fell silent when I felt his head inside me. Hello pain and pressure. He didn’t stop there, he continued pushing all the way until he was fully inside of me. My hole is stretched to the max, there’s no more room for anything else, it feels like I’m bleeding. I did ask him to hurt me, I’d give him anything he wanted. But feeling him without a latex layer…it was heavenly. Fuck it, pain will go away. The thought of having Armie bare buried balls deep inside of me…Jesus, I’m so close. He stopped and it’s not moving.

“You okay babe?” Armie’s soothing, soft voice spoke. He’s roaming my back with his huge hands.

“Aha…” It’s good that he can’t see my face. He’d stop immediately, I’m trying to hold it in.

“You feel so fucking good.” He breathed out.

“Oh, the feeling’s mutual.”

“Let me know when you want me to mo-…”

I cut him off.

“Go…please…I’m not gonna last much longer.”

Armie says nothing and started moving. The feeling is so foreign to me, it’s lighter, it’s easier than when we used to do it with a condom, but the feeling of him destroying my hole and leaving me to bleed out…that will always stay constant. He goes out and in slowly, the first couple of times. When I let go of my pillow and lied flat down, head glued to the mattress, he finally found the angle that fitted him the most. Couple of minutes past and the pain is gone, the pressure is still there but the feeling is amazing. Even better without protection. I dig my nails into the sheets, pulling them apart, my eyes were watery the entire time, I’ve been letting out sounds the entire time he’s been speeding up. We found the rhythm and now it goes better, easier, finally we can both enjoy. He’s holding my hips and moving inside me. Armie’s letting out such beautiful sounds, but we have to be quiet. If I were to be asked, I’d spread all my limbs on the bed and hold nothing inside. There was nothing I needed more than him at that moment, at the end of the day like that one. And just when I was convinced he could read minds, he gives me something harder; Armie tugs my hair and pulls it towards him, I arch my back and I let out a whimper. I can’t see anything, my eyes are filled with tears. I’m no longer lying flat on my stomach, now I’m on all fours with Armie’s hand tightly gripping on my hair. My back is gonna ache in the morning, and my neck, and also my hips…fuck I love it, hurt me and disable me to function normally, in front of everyone, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.

Oh how it makes me feel so happy, having him behind me, destroying me on one end and holding me in one place on the front. He’s a big guy, he’s violent and brutal in bed when I need him to, he loves to pull my hair, he loves to choke me, spit on me, smack my ass, he loves to tease me and play with me, and I needed him being like that right now. He also knows how to make love, later on, he’s very emotional and loves to open up, it makes him feel raw and naked and exposed, like someone’s peeling his skin off, he feels like an electric wire, I touch him and he opens up and his emotions come up to the surface. He doesn’t know how to control when he’s making love and pouring out his heart and his soul. But when he’s fucking, like right now, I’m the one who doesn’t know how to control myself.

Armie pulled out and let go of my hair. I was confused, are we gonna change the position now? He actually pushed me even further to lie on the pillow that was there. He lifted my butt in the air and entered me again and within first five seconds the managed to brush against my prostate because of how deep he went in. I must’ve had an orgasm through the prostate because I wouldn’t be able to describe this feeling, almost like a seizure. I lost it, I lost function in my entire body when he did that, I’m pretty sure he had no idea what he did or why was my body jumping on the bed. It made me feel more turned on, more hornier…if I was slutty now and begging to be taken like my life depended on it…I was now even sluttier, wanting to be destroyed harder and darker. He was now grunting through his teeth as he was pounding with everything he had, trying and wanting to push even deeper inside of me, but I had to disappoint him and tell him that there is no place to go deeper, this is as deep as my hole can get. We were both giving it our best, trying to contain the pleasurable sounds, but in a heat of the moment we could’ve easily missed it. Even as he was still doing his best in fucking the life out of me, the bed was shaking and my body was moving further and further away from where he originally positioned me. It was like he was angry at something, angry because he couldn’t get deeper? I understood the situation we just went through and the baby talk made him angry, but my God, it did feel like he was trying to breed me and get me pregnant. You can’t say it’s impossible to Armie Hammer, he’s gonna keep on doing it until I’m blessed with a child.

He brushed against my prostate again and I just let my body fall flat onto the mattress, letting out loud moans for everyone to hear. Armie didn’t want the attention and then he collapsed on top of me and brough a hand to my face and covered my mouth with it. I did tell him that if I was being loud, this was the way to shut me up. Even his hands smelled perfect, he was choking me, I can’t breathe through my nose in a hurry. I covered his hand with mine. My hips are gonna be locked for a day or two again, I am looking forward to not walking again. After some time, he removed his hand but I kept it there and latched onto his fingers; I sucked on two of his fingers like there was no tomorrow, like they were my oxygen.

“Tim…fuck…” He whispered again my ear.

I continued to suck his fingers, without a care in the world. Even if someone were to knock on my door, I’ll tell him to just continue fucking me and ignore whoever it was on the other side.

He covered my mouth again and continued to pound so fast I was beginning to think his goal was to either get me pregnant or split me in half. Which ever works for him, I’m fine with it.

I do a little experiment, with the little bits of energy I had left in me, and I squeeze my hole around his cock, close the sphincter. Armie started shaking, let go of my mouth and pushed down on me even harder, I smirk on that. I do it again, just to see what is possible to happen.

“TIM! AH!” Armie screamed out against my ear.

Oh, shit, we’re busted. I can’t see his face, my head has been smashed against the pillow.

Suddenly, he speeds up and I began sobbing again, I’m trying to say something, anything, but I can’t, my words have been cut off, my voice is shaking, he’s really working the both of us. I squeeze around him once more and he goes even harder. I think me squeezing around him made him leak inside me. I did feel some liquid on the inside.

I squeeze again.

“Tim, I’m gonna come…Jeez…fuck…” His voice…I can’t recognize it anymore. He’s silent, but he’s moaning and whispering, and the tone has changed.

“Do it…come inside me…come inside me…” This has been my dream ever since I let him in my bed in my dreams.

He slows down and then starts filling me up. I can feel him, he let out a fucking load, damn. I can feel him for real, and when he pulls out, his semen is gonna remain inside me and not in a latex condom.

“You’re mine.” He groaned against my face. Saying this while filling me up, proclaiming me as his…

“Fuuuuuck…” I silently grunt against his face, he’s so sweaty, he smells heavenly and is letting out beautiful noises while he’s coming inside of me. Armie pushed inside harder and harder just so he could ride out his orgasm better.

After some time, Armie unglues himself from me and it feels like a cold wind just hit my back. It just goes to show that my body craves his, it makes me feel warm and cozy.

He pulls out carefully but lets out a loud groan when he does. Fuck, I wanna see it…

“Ah-ah-Armie…” I’m holding onto his name with everything I’ve got. I’m afraid to let go.

“Yeah babe?”

He moved away from me and helps me lift my butt back in the air. When he does, he spreads my butt cheeks and I can feel his finger going across my hole. He’s still hyperventilating and it makes me squirm, but Armie hold me in place.

“Jesus…gorgeous.” He mutters behind me.

I smile, I am glad, I am proud, I am happy.

Like I said, Armie’s a weird one and I could never predict his next move, just like I couldn’t predict him stuffing his tongue between my butt cheeks and sucking out his semen in his own mouth.

“ARMIE! FUCK! OH MY GOD!” I let go everything and don’t give a crap if anyone were to hear me. And neither did he.

Armie’s lying down between my legs and cleaning me out. I lift my body on my elbows, then I arch my back into his tongue, I’m so sensitive I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening to me. Was he really just sucking his own cum out of my hole? I think felching is everyone’s dream. Mine just came true. Armie sucks it in, licks his lips and continue to dive in. The over-sensation is running through my entire system. I’m sobbing and silently moaning, Armie’s tongue does magic to me, especially now that everything is over and he’s right back where we left off. I tried squirting out his semen but I guess there’s nothing left. Armie cleaned me completely.

“Fuck, Armie…a little warning next time…” I giggle when I turned around to look at him.

“It’s better like this.” He smirks and licks his lips in front of me.

I hate him for this. I love him for this. I wondered what he thought about tasting himself.

“Your turn babe…” He said.

Jesus, that’s right. My turn. I need to come. I need to come, how could I’ve ever forgotten about that?

Armie stood up, got off the bed and pulled me by my legs to the bottom. He gently flipped me on my back, then he kneeled on the floor and put my legs around his neck. Before I could even look down to see what was he doing, he began sucking my cock into his mouth.

“Oh God! Mmmm…” I moan. I am pretty sure everyone is already up because they heard us. But do I care? Absolutely fucking not.

Armie pops me out, strokes me and then goes back down. I’m tugging his hair as tightly as I can but I don’t have the energy for it. He pops me out again, looks up at me, licks my cock and continued to just bob the head. He looks heavenly while trying to get me to get off.

“Come on baby…show me what a good boy you are…” He mutters against my cock while looking up at me. My cock twitches in his hand. Oh, so now we can role play?

I hate him for this. I love him for this.

“Armie I’m…” I threw my head back and let some noise out. I am done controlling myself.

“You can do it…come on babe…”

Seconds later, when he sped up stroking my cock, I silently came. I showered myself with it, all the way up to my chest. I could hear Armie smiling as I was shooting a massive load on me. I didn’t see a thing but soon after, Armie’s lips were around my cock, trying to milk everything out, to clean me again, to have nothing left. I hiss and grunt at the same time, and in the end I sob. I’m hyperventilating, like he was only few minutes earlier. Armie pops me out and continues to kiss my tummy and my hips.

I am so tired. It was such an exhausting day with a very beautiful ending; that thought brought a smile to my face as I was watching Armie stand up, walking away and unlocking the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	34. Fresh (Armie's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their morning continues and everything is back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! I am very pleased and rather stunned by your reactions on the previous chapter, he he. Hope you're all safe and taking care during this crisis! Here...it's snowing...it's spring and it's snowing. Jeez lol.  
> Anyway, here's today's chapter, it's from Armie's point of view. Enjoy it, hope you'll like it and let me know your thoughts in the comments.  
> If i don't post tomorrow, it's because i'm still writing to collect few chapters so i can post them day by day. Stay safe, love you!

I unlocked the door and turned around to take in the space. I had to lock them because Tim was loud. This would’ve been acceptable if we were alone and not only few feet away from his mother and his brother. Jesus, I think…no, I know they heard us, how am I gonna look them in the eyes in the morning? It’s mortifying. What if they say something? Prepare your cheeks. But Tim didn’t worry, not at all, and for the first time, I trusted him and I, myself, stopped worrying. He lied exactly as I left him; his legs were hanging from the bed, limbs spread, arms above his head, decorated chest and a satisfied smile on his face. I wanted to take a picture of him just so I could have him like this with me at all times. I already had a video, I must make a new one, there were also other pictures he didn’t know about; that’s what happens when he sleeps longer than me and I have no idea what to do out of sheer boredom. So, I take pictures of him while he’s asleep.

This turn of a day wasn’t something I could’ve ever predicted, it never crossed my mind it would end this way or this well. All of this wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for Tim. He came to my office in the afternoon, he let me in despite wanting me off the doorstep, he agreed to act, but, let’s face it, none of it was acting, I didn’t act a single second, neither did he, and he was the one asking me to stay, asking me to sleep over, asking me to sleep in the same bed with him, starting this night’s plot. He forgave me so quickly, I thought my heart was gonna explode. In the past 72 hours, my body went through tremendous amount of pressure, exhaustion, fear, anxiety and stress. It almost seemed impossible for me to experience this. Everything looked so unreal. From when I walked out of her apartment, until Tim basically stopped me from making the biggest mistake in my life, I wasn’t breathing normally, sleeping, eating, thinking. I am beyond grateful to whatever sent him to my office this afternoon. He stopped me and he kicked my ass, which I deserved, and he decided for us to not look back anymore and just move on from everything. Grateful. And that’s how I felt while we were doing it. I can’t read his mind but I know what he needs, and what we just did, was exactly what his body craved from me.

Before I stripped him down naked, he gave me this look where I was completely lost as to I had no idea who am I looking at. He’s not a boy. He’s an adult. He’s a man. And he is serious. This is real, we are real, and we’re serious. This is not a game, it’s time for me to wake up. I am ready to fight everything and anything that stands in our way. Never will I ever freak out like I did with the baby. Like Tim, I will not let it. He means everything to me, he is worth it all, he’s mine. I will do whatever is in my power to keep him here, by my side, it’s time for me to wake up. I am his protector. Now it’s time for me to do my job. Period.

He smiles at me as I was walking towards him. He’s the most perfect little human being I’ve ever laid my fingers on. I’m so lucky, so grateful, so happy, I couldn’t believe he gave me a second chance. I lied down next to him, mirroring his position; spread limbs and arms above my head.

Tim looked at me and smiled with teeth. His chest was dirty, we were both sweaty and satisfied.

“You said mother in law.” He said after some time.

“What?” I frowned.

“In the flower shop, you said you were getting flowers for your future mother in law.” He smiled and bit his lip.

Oh right.

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t say for the mother of my maybe or maybe not soon to be ex boyfriend.”

He giggled.

“Oh, true.” He added.

He continued giggling, and then we had a good laugh about it.

“I need to be better. I have to keep you and all of this untouched and pure.” I said, looking down at his beautiful young body.

“There’s nothing pure about what we just did.” Tim said.

I burst into laughter. He’s got a point. Tim laughs after me and I laugh even harder because he was laughing and found me laughing to be a better joke than what he said. I laughed because it was a way for me to get all of this out. Sometimes I’d cry, sometimes I’d laugh but at the end of the day, I got everything off my chest.

After we were done, we were silent, dead silent.

“Is that part over now Armie? I need to know.” He looked me in the eyes.

“It is.”

“You promise?”

I got up, straddled his lap, lifted him off the bed and grabbed his face in my hands. He was now supporting his skinny body on his elbows.

“Look at me. You are the love of my life. My one true love, you’re not my first but you are a true one. Nothing like that will ever happen again, I promise. It was just a big misunderstanding. And I am beyond grateful that you were there to save me from making the stupidest and the biggest mistake of my life. I will not ignore you or avoid you when there’s a problem. I will make sure to keep the fucked up shit in my head and complain less. The next time I have a problem, I will talk to you, you will be the first person to know. I love you. And I know this sounds like marital vows but I don’t care. These are our relationship vows. That’s it. I’m gonna try and be a better person and a better boyfriend. I will not worry about the future, as long as I have you by my side.” I said, pouring everything out, this promise will come to life. I caress his cheeks, Tim’s eyes are fixated on me.

“You’re fine, Armie. You don’t need to change. Only one little thing : you can’t avoid people when you’re scared of talking. Avoid to talk and not the person. And if you see us not working out, talk to me, please. We can either sort it out or break up…”

I cut him off.

“No. Don’t. I don’t want to hear that word come out of your mouth anymore.”

“Ah, fine…” He scoffed and grinned.

I relax the grip and kiss him. I feel like I can live inside his lips and nowhere else. We part and I get off of him, already on my way to light up another cigarette.

Tim got up and grunted when he did. Oh boy, he’s gonna be in a lot of pain the next few days, I think it just started. I know he loves it. He loved when he couldn’t walk couple of days ago. I opened the window when I felt him hug me from behind. Tim was still warm and gentle, his skin pressed against mine, it was like it was meant to be. Older and younger, taller and shorter, two men, him and me.

“And Armie?” He whispered against my back and I turned my head to the side to look at him.

“Hm?”

“Do this to me again and I will personally kick your ass out of my life for good.”

He was dead serious. It’s totally understandable, I should’ve seen this coming.

“Don’t have to tell me twice, I’ll help you with it. I’ll stand right here next to the window and help you burn my clothes and throw it on the ground outside.” I said, he giggled, but I knew a part of him was still very serious.

“Deal.” He said and smiled.

As I was about to put a cigarette between my lips, Tim put his hand over mine.

“Hey, but I do mean it…I do love you.” His voice saying this as softly as possible.

When a love is so good and real, it doesn’t need to be said out loud. The heart is listening. The heart knows.

I said nothing and just kissed his forehead. I light up the cigarette, he took the cigarette from my hand and we stood there, naked, next to an opened window, freezing our asses off. We smoked in a hurry because we were finally cooling off. He closed the window after we were done.

“Are we gonna sleep naked?” I asked him as I began putting the pillow, that Tim has been hugging to be quiet, back. Thank God the sheets remained clean.

“I don’t know, I’m not tired.” He said.

“How come you’re not tired? You haven’t slept in days.”

“I know. But now that you’re back here, I’m gonna have a good night sleep, I know it, just…let’s hang out for a while.” Tim smiled.

“Okay, we can hang out…but…can we just lie down and…”

“Yeah, yeah…”

We undid the bed and jumped right into the hot spot. Before I could even settle in properly, Tim rushed to nuzzle into my neck. Like someone might take his spot, like he was competing with someone for his place in my neck. He’s silent, just like I need him to be. If he wasn’t tired, I was, I knew that if I were to close my eyes for more than two seconds, I’d pass out. But Tim was cheery and wanted to talk instead of sleep. He keeps nuzzling in deeper and deeper, like he’s trying to get into my body.

“If I may ask…how was it…without a condom?” Tim asked after only a second or two after settling against me.

I smiled. I can’t close my eyes. Or I can…but he needs to keep on talking to keep me awake. But I wanted to sleep and he wanted to talk…

“Fucking brutal. Maybe tonight, I felt the…connection for the first time…a sexual one.” I said a began caressing his hair, this should keep me up.

“Oh, I know what you mean.”

Silence. Maybe he’s done. I want to close my eyes but…

“And how was it when you…you know…in the end…you know…” I knew exactly what he meant. It was the first one for me but I adored the fact that he couldn’t say it out loud. If I were to guess, he was blushing.

“Why are you asking? You wanna try it too?” I ask him, knowing very well that this already crossed his mind.

“I don’t see why not. But not because of what…you know…I mean because you’ve never done it before. The overall feeling…”

Are there exact words for this? No?

“Honestly…it felt…normal, and honest…and it was beyond hot. The act itself is an act that portrays how close we really are, Tim. There are no boundaries between us so I took a shot and did it. and I liked it. I’m guessing you did too.”

He nodded. He’s silent. Finally. I’m closing my…

“One more thing…” Dear God…

“Tim…” I breathe out.

“Please?”

“Ugh, shoot…”

I heard him smile because he got the permission to speak.

“Your mom…”

I did not need this before bed.

“Will I ever meet her?” He asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Just like that?”

“Yes.”

Silence.

“Why not?”

“Tim, drop it, and go to sleep.” I am so done. I want to sleep, he needs to sleep too.

“Not even as a friend?”

“No, Tim, not even as a friend.” I breathed out.

“Why not?”

“Jesus…go to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“No. Tell me now. I want to know.”

He’s not letting it go, is he?

“If I tell you, will you go to sleep?”

He nodded quickly.

“I can’t introduce a male friend to her. Simple as that. One time I did that and when he went home, she flipped on me, she was throwing books and vases all over the house. I was 19, he was my friend from work. She took out her bible and was reading it and repeating it all day and all night after she was done throwing things. She said I was possessed, she said that she doesn’t want to see me with another male friend for the rest of my life. She would only act like this if she suspected I was anything but straight. But she had bugs in her brain, telling her I’m maybe more interested into guys than girls. I never told him this, but we stopped being friends. We were in our backyard, playing football and joking around. Nothing happened. A year later I moved out. She was the reason why I’ve distanced myself from the family. Actually, she was the one who openly disowned me. As much as I said they’re great…they’re really not.”

Another layer fell off of my heart. I felt exposed. Here I am telling him how great everything is, when one day at a time, I’m revealing that it actually isn’t.

“I don’t want to go through that again. And you’re too precious to me to lose you. Now…can we please just…sleep?” I closed my eyes and that was it. The end.

He’s silent, but I know he’s not gonna try and sleep now.

“I’m sorry.” Tim breathed out.

“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.”

“I’m sorry you have such a…different mom.”

He chose his words carefully. It made me smile, I opened my eyes and saw that his smile was gone, he was stunned.

“It’s okay, you can say that she’s terrible. I don’t disagree with you.” I said and kissed his forehead.

“I’ll tell Nicole to adopt you.” He said.

I laughed. I love him.

“But then we’ll be step-brothers.” I stated the obvious.

His eyes wandered off as he was thinking about it.

“Oh, right…then I’ll tell her to disown me so that she can adopt you. There, problem solved.” Tim said and smiled widely at me.

“You’re such a weird kid. Sleep.” He’s so weird, I adore him, I’m so lucky he’s mine.

“I’m on it. Good night Armie.”

Finally. He nuzzled closer to me, keeping me warm.

“Good night Tim.”

But I couldn’t sleep. He fell asleep pretty quickly, he began snoring or purring or something…but he was dead to the world. I’m glad he can rest, especially after what I put him through. After everything we talked about; us, him, me, my fears, my mother…no one sane would be in the position to sleep. I had all these demons from the past, bugging me now, pulling me by the sleeve and asking to be noticed. I told him already what I had, now I feel like my brain is empty. Literally everything was out and between us and sorted out. How the fuck did I get this lucky to find someone like him who would take me all damaged and ruined? Maybe because he is the same. And my God, he is worth it, he really is. I love him and trust him and he is worth everything. It must’ve been around 6 or so when we finished and went straight to bed. Now it was maybe close to 7, I don’t remember. Tim was already snoring on my chest while all I could do, to calm myself down a bit, was caress his naked back and inhale his scent through his hair. That was really intoxicating. I closed my eyes for just a moment and fell right into it.

I woke up around 08:30 am, feeling like I have slept for 5 minutes. Tim has turned around away from me in the middle of the night, now he slept on his tummy, facing me. Oh how I wanted to stay like that and look at his face, uncover him and explore his body with my eyes. This little human being is the most perfect person I’ve ever had the luck of meeting and sharing my body with, he’s so pure, like a work of art and every time I find myself next to him, I fall into this state of bliss where I don’t know the exit to, nor am I looking for one. I wasn’t sleepy or tired anymore so I decided to wake up immediately. What are the chances that there’s gonna be someone out there this early in the morning? Very slim. His mom was tired from the trip, she’s gonna sleep in, and his brother is gonna use the Saturday morning like it should be used. What did she think of me? I think I made a good first impression, I don’t know. Maybe there were couple of things that were out of hand; when I took his hand in mine and put it on the table for everyone to see, or when I messed his hair…or when her son was making noise because I had control over him, because he loves when someone is dominating over him and loves pain. Maybe they were too much but…now that they’re gone, I can’t do shit about them. Tim didn’t worry so why should I? It’s not that he didn’t worry, actually, he didn’t care. And if he didn’t care…

I got up slowly, I didn’t want to wake the poor boy up. It was an awful and unthought out move to leave him with no words for days. He’d probably thought he was making it all up, that he was being dramatic with no reasons, he didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat, all he did was think and cry. And I was doing the same thing. If I had known better, I’d call him up to do it all together. But if I had called him, everything would turn out differently. I couldn’t move out of my bed for a whole day. The only time I’d get up was to take Archie out and to go to the bathroom, other than that, nothing.

I found my jeans and in them, I found my boxers and put them on. Then I put the jeans back on and I opened his closet to look for a shirt. There were many but none were my size; he had oversized sweaters only. Where did he put the shirt I gave him? I can wear it for a while, get more scent on it. I can’t find it. Jack pot! I found an oversized high school shirt, we all have that one. He probably ordered in S and they gave him either L or XL, which was good for me. I put it on and it fits perfectly on me. I walked out of his room. It was quiet. I thought nobody was there until I saw that his mom was already up and sitting in the chair in the living room, she was scrolling down her phone.

“Good morning.” I said as soon as I walked in, she didn’t even hear me come in.

“Oh, Armie! Good morning!”

We smiled at each other. She took her glasses off and put the phone away.

“You want some coffee?” She asked me. I looked over towards the kitchen just to make sure it’s just her and me. It was.

“Sure.”

“Here…”

She was ready to get up, but I stopped her.

“No, no, no…you sit, I’ll do it.”

I went and poured myself a cup, and then I came back to sit with her.

“You’re up pretty early.” She said.

“I guess I’m rested. You are as well.” No, ma’am, I couldn’t sleep because I went to bed at 6 am. Your son has a great appetite, he just doesn’t know when to pick the time.

“Hun, I’m used to waking up even before 6 am. Plus the time zones and I’m jet lagged…”

“Oh, yeah…”

I feel rather too relaxed and comfortable while I’m talking to this woman. I should be nervous, like I was last night, but now…nothing. I don’t even feel weird looking her in the eyes after I am certain she heard us doing it only few hours ago.

“Now that I have you here…” She began.

I looked over and nervousness came over me. Shit, she’s gonna bring it up. Prepare your cheeks, Armand.

“Oh boy…”

“Relax, I don’t bite…” She said and grinned.

“I know you don’t. But still…meeting the mom…” I said and smiled. I looked nervous, I know that.

“It’s a first for him. First time he’s with someone where there’s mutual connection this high.”

“I agree.”

We both nodded, looking at each other, sipping the coffee.

“Are you gonna go and meet your mom next?” She asked.

Why is everyone from his family bugging me about my mother? Why can’t people just let it go? I can’t lie to her, especially now that Tim knows the whole truth.

“No…ah…my mom…she’s not…she doesn’t support this. It’s like this my entire life. She practically disowned me for being…this much different. I wasn’t certain about…myself 100 % until I met Tim, but she had her doubts when I was a teenager and later on.”

“Really?” Nicole’s eyes widened. I see where Tim got that facial expression from.

I nodded.

“Don’t tell me that the church and religion…” She sighed but I interrupted her.

“Yes ma’am.” I nod in defeat.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. It sounds like the love for something that hasn’t been proven to exist is taking the place for the true love for her son, who is real and who exists and she carried that son inside her for 9 months…”

Right in the heart, at 8 in the morning. I felt like someone punched my guts and I lost all the oxygen I needed. She…she said it all.

“That’s sweet Nicole. But I do agree. I’ve learned to live with it. And I’m fine now.”

“I see how you’re fine, you’re tearing up.”

Was I?

“That’s because what you said is…so brutally true. You summed up my life in one sentence and you know me for less than 12 hours.” I wiped my eyes and smiled at her.

Nicole extended her arm for me to take it, and I did. She squeezed it very hard as to show, I’m guessing, how much she loves her son and how much she’s ready to be somebody’s mom for the third time. Tim has her support, and by this, I’d say I do it as well. Since I can’t get it from my real family, I’ll just have to make up my own family.

“Okay, no more sad stories…” I said and we parted.

“Right. Tell me Armie…how did you two meet?”

Oh, I love this one.

“At a bakery. I cut him off one morning and he resented me for a while and then three days in a row we kept running into each other all over New York city. Bit by bit, we saw that this was no accident. And I approached him one day and we made a breakfast…date…and we kept on seeing each other and hanging out every single day ever since.”

“That’s very sweet…”

She smiled. I’m guessing he already told her this.

“Did he tell you about…Miles?” She was careful with her words.

“Oh, yes he did.”

I’m guessing he didn’t tell her what happened recently when Tim ran into him.

I took another long sip. I was more in the mood for a cigarette. Why did this woman read me so well?

“My baby boy really suffered after him. I wanted to kill him. Tim didn’t let me.” She said, looking at me, seriously. Maybe her eyes were saying that if I do something like that to him, she will kill me for sure.

“He told me everything.”

“I am just glad that he’s happy now. There’s nothing a mother wants more than to see her son happy. It’s been a while since I saw him shining like he did last night, next to you.” Her eyes were shining as well while she was talking about this.

This warmed my heart. I wanted to hug this woman. She already feels like…a mom.

“Whatever you’re doing, keep going. I want to see him like this every time I come here.”

I nodded. We have her blessing.

“So…Nicole…your turn.”

“Ha!” She chuckled.

“How’s work?”

“Exhausting. But there’s such gratitude and joy behind what I do.” She breathed out. She is amazing.

“Of course there is.”

“This holiday was exactly what I needed.” She said and lied back into her chair.

“I agree…”

“How about we go out for lunch…”

She began making plans for later on but we were interrupted. Tim woke up. He was wearing his boxers and my shirt. Where did he put it? I didn’t see it in the closet?

“Hey…” He was still rubbing his eyes. Hair was a mess, lips were swollen, eyes puffy, and he did walk differently. All of that…my work. His legs were like two sticks that never let their thighs to meet in the middle. His hips were locked. He loves a good sex injury. 

“Hey love!” Nicole jumped when she saw him. She was so happy. He bents down and kisses her, he makes a face when he does so. Now he’s moving towards me.

“Hi babe…” I smiled when he crushed down next to me on a couch. Tim gives me a glance that makes me think about how much I’d rather be back into his bedroom with him, doing what we did couple of hours ago.

He smells…freshly fucked. And he looks freshly fucked.

“Hi…” He breathed out and put his head on my shoulder.

“Sleep well?” Mom asks him.

“Mhm…”

He yawns for a long moment. I don’t know if she noticed her son walking and smelling differently, but I did. He squirmed couple of times on the couch next to me, every time, letting out a soft grunt.

“What were you guys talking about?” Tim asked.

“Lunch. I thought we could all go out somewhere for lunch.” She suggested.

“Yeah, sure…” Tim nodded and rubbed his eye again, another yawn.

“Sounds good. I’ll just hop at my apartment to check on my dog. I haven’t seen him since last evening.” I said. Yes, everything is perfect and we’re spending more time together, but the pup is freaking me out, all alone in that big place.

“I’ll come with you and…” Tim suggested.

“Or you can bring him here…just so you don’t have to go back and forth all the time. Bring your stuff here and your dog. There’s room for it. If you want.” Nicole offers. I could see that Tim was out of this world, but he did like her offer.

“Oh, maybe. What do you think?” I looked over at Tim and asked him.

“I don’t…I’m still…” He chuckled, yawning once again.

“Got it, you want some coffee?” She asked him.

He nodded and she went to the kitchen to make it for him.

“You okay?” I asked him.

He’s not answering me, he’s just staring. Did I break him?

“Tim?”

“Yeah?”

“Something wrong? Neck, back, hips…more locally?” I ask. Knowing very well the answer.

“Hurt, hurt, hurt burning up…”

“Jesus…” I breathed out.

“It’s okay. I like it, you know I do.”

We shared a smile and I kissed his forehead. I didn’t feel comfortable exposing ourselves or kissing in front of his mother. This was the only moment I could grasp for us, since he smelled so fucking good.

“You look sad.” I said.

“I’m not, I’m just…I couldn’t get your mom out of my head…and what she did…”

I breathed out. No, not this again. Drop it people!

“Tim no…”

“And what she said…I just…I couldn’t get it out of my head…” He breathed out.

“Tim, look…” I turned to talk to him and tell him everything, but we got interrupted.

His mom walked back and gave him the cup.

“Here you go, baby…”

“Thanks…”

After we finished our coffee, Jules woke up for work, and we all had breakfast together. There was a lot of food left from last night. Victor was still asleep, she said he is not gonna wake up any time soon. After breakfast, Tim went to the bathroom to fresh up and I was getting ready to leave.

“You wanna come with me?” I asked him when he appeared.

“Yeah…”

Tim started dressing up, I was checking my phone while I was waiting for him. I watched him strip down to his boxers, revealing his bare chest covered in his own semen. He wore some sweat pants and a sweater.

“What did you want to say to me…we got interrupted?” He said while he was putting socks on.

I am so done. I sat next to him on the bed and took his hands in mine.

“Yeah, Tim, okay…here’s the deal. We need to drop this. You see I’m fine, I’m doing great. Yes, it is sad that my own mother doesn’t support me in this way but…it’s not that I don’t care, but it doesn’t bother me either. I went through this once before, yes, it was awful and brutal but I made my peace with it. So did she. She has her life and her believes, and I have mine. I am happy now; I have my own place, I have a great job, and I’m in a stable and healthy relationship, where we love each other. I don’t want you to worry anymore. I don’t. Okay?”

He nodded. Then he smiled. I kissed his hands and got up.

I absolutely know he’s not gonna let it go so easily. I understand that it was a shock and all, but I’ll give him time.

We walked out and said a short goodbye to everyone there. We told them we’ll be back soon, I just have to pick up some things and Archie and then we’ll get back here. I practically moved in here again, but now his mom invited me. The great things about me staying there is that I had a warm invitation, since I practically invited myself the first time. And…I’m done with work and the exams. Tim’s birthday is in six days.

Since I walked to his place, we walked back as well. I suggested a cab, but Tim wanted us to walk. It was snowing, not much, but it was still white around us. There weren’t many people outside. It was Saturday morning, maybe around 10 am, not many people get out that early, especially on a Saturday morning.

I put my hand over his shoulder and he hugged my back, we walked like we always did. I tried to follow his steps, since he was already experiencing troubles walking, we were in no rush, I didn’t want him to hurt more. But he seemed to be fine with it, he seemed not bothered by it. This boy loves pain during sex.

“Look, Tim…if you ever wanna talk about those things with me, you can. I will not forbid this topic in our relationship.” I said.

“Got it.”

Once we got there, Tim waited for me to pack up some stuff and Archie’s toys, his bed and his bowls.

“You’re an evil man!” He screamed at me once I walked into the living room where he was petting Archie.

What the fuck? What did I do now? I thought we were pass that, but no one…not even me would look the other way that easily anymore.

“What, what?” He caught me off guard.

“You haven’t kissed me good morning yet, you jerk.” He grinned.

I breathed out. He’s awful, he scared me, I hate him.

“Fuck you!” I yelled back.

He laughed out loud.

“Come here…I need you…” He whined and I couldn’t resist him. Especially when he calls for me looking and smelling like that. He needs me.

I pulled him by his neck towards me and he whimpered. Oh, that’s my fault. I kissed him and kept pulling him into me, until he couldn’t control himself and started laughing.

We parted and left my place. I put Archie in the back of my car and all my stuff, we sat in the front and we were on our way back to his place, where there were people that couldn’t wait to see us and embrace us with love and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	35. Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie does everything that is in his power to make Timmy feel good and relaxed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning loves!! Here's today's chapter! i didn't post anything yesterday and instead, i wrote 3 chapters ahead. I'll try and update tomorrow because there is a lot of editing that needs to be done. Anyway, enjoy today's chapter, it's a very simple chapter, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments! Take care! ❤️

After Armie settled back into my apartment, we decided to take a shower and wash away everything, it was starting to itch. Now that there are people here and on top of that, there’s a mom in the house, we really needed to tone it down a bit. We can’t have loud sex anymore, last night was an exception, we can’t shower together, we can’t be in the bathroom together, we can’t dry each other’s hairs anymore, Armie needs to shave quickly, and I’d rather be the one to do it…maybe I should’ve gone to his place instead; we’d have full freedom and room there to do whatever we wanted and be as loud as we wanted.

He showered first and I waited patiently for him to come back to me. Fifteen minutes later, it was my turn. I finished it off quickly because I wanted to be with him. I had to dry my own hair, and so did he.

“You know what, Tim?” He said when we were back in my room. I dressed up faster than him, he still had a towel around his waist.

“What?”

“Would you guys mind if I take a short nap?” He asked and breathed out. He did look exhausted. I should’ve put two and two together.

“Of course, of course. Around 4 pm…that’s when we’re gonna go out for lunch.”

“Yeah, got it.” He nodded, still standing with a towel around his waist.

Silence. I’m all dressed up, I’m wearing a sweater and my sweat pants.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

“I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep at all last night, you slept for 4 hours, I slept for…maybe 20 minutes.” He chuckled. His eyes were sinking into his skull, he needs rest.

“Oh, is there something wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just…I guess I was a bit overwhelmed about what we talked about…”

“Do you feel better after talking about that?” I asked him, suddenly not feeling so hyped about not being with him in the same room. This was a serious question, he needs to talk about stuff and not just lock them away in his brain.

“I do, I really do…but…you know…” He sighed and looked at the floor instead.

“Yeah…well, you dress up and hop right in the bed, I will tell them not to be loud or to bother you…”

He cuts me off.

“No, Tim, you can’t do that. It’s your place, treat me as a part of the family.” Armie smiled but I can tell that he was forcing himself to do so. This guys was waiting to hit the pillow like never before.

“Hm, okay then.” I said and turned to walk out.

I opened the door.

“Hey, Tim?”

I turned around to look at him, closing the door again, slowly.

“You wanna help me get dressed?” He asked me while waving with a shirt.

I grinned. I closed the door to the end and locked them.

“Certainly.”

I walked over to him and pulled the towel right off of him, revealing his stunning body. I know he wanted to sleep and all, and I know I had to be a good person and let him rest, especially because of how many times he let me sleep while we were supposed to do something else, but him standing naked in front of, looking like that, I had to remind myself that I had him inside me only few hours ago, and that I need to back off a little and not jump right into bed with him and repeat another sexy session. I need to rest as well.

He gave me a shirt and raised his arms in the air. I raised myself on my toes to put it on him, but I stretched on a very uncomfortable angle and my neck began aching again. My hips were fine but I did walk differently.

“Ouch…” I made a torturing face when I yelped.

“Neck?”

“Mhm…”

He made a face where I could read how much he regrets putting me in such pain.

“Don’t. Armie. Don’t do that. I’m fine. I find it as such a turn on because it’s from you and because of our wild night of wild sex, don’t you agree?” I said as I continued helping him dress up. It’s not like he needed help but I loved taking off and I loved putting on clothes on his body. Okay, I loved taking it off more…

“I don’t want to take pleasure in it, but I do. Especially after how good it felt.” He said as he was tightening up his boxers and then a pair of pajama bottoms.

“Exactly. It will pass in a day or two, and then I’m gonna ask you to do the same.”

Armie chuckled and swat my ass, I giggled at that.

He’s all dressed up and ready for bed.

“One more thing.”

I said and approached him.

“I can still feel you bare inside me.” I whispered against his cheek.

Armie moaned softly. He’s gonna sleep better now, for sure.

“Go. Leave this room, kid.”

I grinned and kissed him quickly.

After I walked out smiling, I went to the kitchen where I found my mom scrolling on her phone. She said she wants to meet a friend here in New York and that she was gonna meet us there for lunch after she’s done with her friend. It was Saturday, Jules was working and Victor was at the library doing some stuff on his computer in silence.

“Are they gonna join us?” I asked her already feeling bored because she’s not gonna be here, and I’m gonna be alone.

“I don’t know. If not, it’s gonna be Armie, you and myself. I’ll just have a cup of coffee. I’m saving for lunch.” She said and began putting her jacket on.

“Okay. Bye mom, have fun.” I kissed her cheek.

“Bye my love.”

And she was out.

Since there was nothing else to be done, nothing fun and nothing and all, and we did have like 3 hours before our meeting, I went back to my bedroom. Armie was already asleep. I took my sweater off and stayed in a shirt I had underneath. My neck hurt, my back hurt, and it still pains me to sit on the toilette. He was not kidding, he really got me good. Seeing him finally asleep, looking so peaceful, I decided to join him. I set an alarm for 03:30 pm. His back was turned to me so I lied behind him and hugged him. He moved only to intertwine our fingers. I fell asleep against his massive back, he was warm and breathing deeply, it knocked me out pretty soon.

“Tim?”

It was so warm and nice, I didn’t bother opening my eyes. I knew it was him. Whatever he wanted, it could wait.

“Tim, baby, it’s 03:45, we need to go.” His fingers were removing hair I had over my face.

“My alarm didn’t go off?” In a state of shock I rushed to get up and, again, I twisted my neck and yelped.

“It did, I turned it off and took Archie out. I thought you’d wake up when I got back. You didn’t hear it?”

“No…fuck…it was a good nap. Did you rest at least?” I yawned.

“I did. But we should go. We don’t want them waiting for us.”

“Mom said it could be just the three of us.” I said, rubbing my eyes and seeing him clearly again.

“Well then get up, I don’t want her to wait!”

I love how he still wants to impress her. Last night was one thing, and I don’t know what they talked about this morning while I was still sleeping, dead to the world.

I jumped out of bed and got dressed quickly, Armie was already dressed and ready to go. He really did want to impress her. When we were on our way out, I called my mom to let her know that we’re on our way. She said she’s on her way too.

We drove to the restaurant she picked and had lunch, just the three of us. Jules and Victor said they won’t make it, they’re tired and there’s so much work to be done. So, it was just Armie, Nicole and myself. It was nice, I love watching them talk and laugh, even if most of their jokes were based on me and my shenanigans, but I didn’t care, they were laughing with each other and I was happy. Armie made her cry because of something he said and, at that moment, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. My heart was full, there’s nothing I wanted more. We had her blessing, Armie won her over. Before dessert came along, it was just him and me, mom went to take a quick call. I looked over at him and he took my hand in his, brough it up to his lips and kissed it, all along, looking at me and not giving a damn if there were other people watching.

“Tim?”

My attention was now on him.

“Can we take a walk after lunch?” He asked and smiled.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’ll drive your mom back and then we can walk.”

“Good.” I nodded. That sounded like a good plan.

We stayed in that restaurant for another 30-45 minutes and then we were off. Nicole payed for everything, Armie promised it’s his treat next time. I don’t have to tell him that, by having someone so wonderful as her son’s partner, it was already more than enough, he wouldn’t have to pay a cent as long as we’re together and as long as he’s keeping me happy and shining.

“Hey, mom…is it okay if we drop you off and um…well, we were thinking about going out…” I told her as soon as we sat in the car. Armie was driving, Nicole was next to him and I was in the back.

“Of course, by all means, you’re young and you should go out and have fun.”

She seemed pretty happy about us taking the time and enjoying it.

Couple of minutes later, we dropped her off and I moved to my seat on the front. We told her we won’t be long, it was close to 8 pm.

“Where are we going?” I asked him when he started the car. I thought we were gonna go to a café or a club or something, I wasn’t even dressed for a night out.

“My place.” He said, looking at the road.

“Why? Oh…” I gasped. Oh I see…he read my mind this morning when I said that we should’ve gone to his place where we can have loud sex.

“No…it’s not for that.” He giggled and looked over me.

We’re not? Then why?

We were there in less than 10 minutes. Armie went straight to the bathroom and I heard the water running.

“Go and undress, then come back to the bathroom.” He said.

I don’t know what his plan is if we weren’t gonna have sex. But I did as he told me, I went to his room, got naked and as soon as all of my clothes were off, I went to the bathroom.

Armie was sitting on the edge of the bath tub where only few days ago I was riding him underneath the water. He was still dressed.

“I hate seeing you in pain. I made you a bubble bath so you can relax. Hop in. The hot water helps, your muscles need to relax.”

I stood there, butt naked, listening to him saying how he took me away from home to a place where there is a tub so that he could fill it with hot water and bubbles for me to relax and sort out my pain. Am I crying? No. My eyes are just watering up..

“Armie…this is so sweet. Thank you.” I breathed out.

“You’re welcome, babe. I’ll be in the living room. Take as much time as you need.”

Armie said and was on his way out. I stopped him, tugging his shirt towards me.

“I don’t wanna bathe alone.” I said.

“No?”

I shook my head slowly.

“You want me to jump in there with you.”

I nod my head fast.

He just closed the door and began undressing, I helped. Few minutes later, we were in a bath tub. He helped me get in and get settled. First he made me sit, my back facing him, while he massaged my back and my neck. I was scared he’d break me if he pulls a wrong muscle or even a bone. There’s not a doubt in my mind ever that he was capable of breaking my body. It felt good so I let out noises that would describe how good it actually felt, I was silently moaning. His two hands could cup my entire back like it’s nothing. He stopped and then rolled a towel and gave me put it underneath my neck as we were lying opposite sides of each other, on the edges. I threw my head back and exhaled when I felt hot water swallowing my body. I needed time to adjust my position and when I did, we were both silent and enjoying the bath.

Armie brought his knees to his chest so I could extend my legs to the fullest. There was no room so I put them on his body. He took me away from home, got me here, made a bubble bath for me to relax, jumped in there with me, massaged me and now he’s letting me take every inch of the room. He loves me so much, he noticed me thinking about it. His first instinct was to grad my foot and massage it.

“Ah…” I breathed out. He hit the spot, my eyes rolled back.

“Good?”

“Mhm…so good…”

It didn’t hurt this time, he was very gentle. Massaging my feet and then moving to my calves. I let my head fall back and I was letting out soft and silent moans. It felt really good, I can’t keep that inside my throat. Then he gently pulled me by my hands and settled me to lie on him; my back pressed against his hairy chest. They were tickling me, but so was his beard while he was caressing my shoulders with it. This was heaven. We were quiet, not talking, not fighting, nothing that could disturb this beautiful peace we just created. Armie’s arms were around my waist, mine were over his. He spread his legs and that’s where I lied. He wasn’t hard, he was untouched and limp, probably because sex wasn’t on his mind now, he was thinking of my pain and making me feel better. I threw my head back and fell onto his shoulder. Armie attached his lips to my neck and I let out another soft moan.

“Feels good, right?” He whispered just below my ear.

“So fucking good…” I breathed out every word.

I didn’t want to do anything else, for the rest of the night. His hairy torso was like a pillow for my body, full of muscles and skin, and it made me feel very comfortable even underneath the hot water. My eyes were closed the entire time, his were as well. I didn’t have to look to make sure, I just knew they were closed. My pain was fading away slowly but certainly.

I kept my eyes closed and was focusing on my breathing only _._

This is heaven. Us in a hot water, not doing anything, not talking, just breathing and enjoying the moment. Heaven.

“You know…” Armie spoke first, breaking the silence. Mouthing the words on my cheek.

“Mm…”

“I don’t ever remember seeing you this relaxed.” He breathed out, caressing my skin with his nose, slowly, up and down.

“You haven’t been around long enough to see me.” I chuckle.

“That’s true.”

We both laugh but it’s short, I went back to breathing and relaxing.

“But, hey…I wanted to ask or…suggest…to go further, but seeing how relaxed you look and sound…I wouldn’t wanna do it.”

Did he really just say that? He wanted to have sex and after seeing me like this…he backed off. Well I hate to break it to him…

I turn around just a little and opened my eyes to meet his.

“Don’t be mad, but I’d say no either way. I like it like this, I wish we could stay like this for the entire night long.” I said, he smiled, it made me smile as well.

“Me too babe, but the water is getting cold…”

“You’re warm enough for me…” I breathe out and nuzzle even closer to him, making myself at home on his chest.

I can hear him smile. Armie kissed my temple and we continue lying like that as the water quickly changed from boiling hot to cold. We must’ve been in there for an hour or longer, it felt like forever.

And then my phone rang. We heard it all the way from his bedroom. The tone was so annoying, it needed to be silenced.

“Ignore it.” He said.

It was hard to do so.

“Tim…” He whimpered as I was already ungluing myself from him, trying to get up and silence the damn thing.

“I have to…I’m sorry…”

I jumped out of the water, wiped my feet, grabbed a towel and went to answer it. It rang twice before I could get to it.

It was my mom. Of course. She wanted to know where we are and when are we coming home. They ordered something for dinner, it should be there in half an hour.

“We’re in a café, but…yeah…count us in.” I said. I lied. If I’d said the truth, she’d ask why are we there, then I’d have to tell her because we were taking a bath, she’d point out that we have a shower at home, and then I’d have to tell her why and because of whom we needed to be here, and then she’d shut up.

We hung up quickly and I took my time with tying a towel around my waist. I was way too distracted by the view of the city from Armie’s big balcony windows. It was a dark Saturday night, ending of December, ending of the year. Towers, buildings, homes, apartments, stores, parks…everything was visible from the fifth floor of his apartment.

“It’s so beautiful…” I whispered against the window when I heard Armie walk behind me. He let the water out of the tub, cleaned all the mess we made with the water, he made everything look perfect again.

He didn’t hesitate one bit when he stood behind me and hugged me. He was already dried off and dressed, I was still naked.

“You know what it would be amazing?” I whispered to him, not moving my eyes from the window.

“What, Tim?” He said and kissed my temple.

“If we were to have sex against this window…” I breathed out. I know he’s gonna find it funny, but I find it rather…beautiful.

Armie laughed out loud and removed himself from me.

“Man, you’re a hungry little one. And dirty…and bold.” He said.

I smiled to myself, knowing he can’t see me.

“Come on, get dressed, we should go.” Armie said and walked off.

I dressed myself up, dried the little wet hair I had, and within 5 minutes, we were back into his car.

“How are you feeling?” He asked me as we were approaching my place.

“Better. A lot better. I needed that bath, I feel so relaxed now.” That was the truth, my neck was better, my back was fine, I just had to work on my tolerance level if I’m serious about asking him to take me like that every single time. He’s a big guy but I can take it, I know I can. I must. And yes, I was relaxed.

We drove in front of the apartment. Armie cursed because his spot was taken.

“You go upstairs and I’ll join you in a minute. I have to find another parking spot.” He said.

I agreed with him. I opened the back door and took my stuff and headed upstairs.

As soon as I walked in, Archie came rushing towards me, jumping at my knees. I picked him up. Archie was very playful in my arms; licking my face and waving his paws. I began looking him as my own baby. He loved me, I loved him.

“Finally!” Victor grunted when I walked in the kitchen with a dog.

“What?” I frowned when I heard his tone.

They were settling the table.

“You’re home. Now we can eat…”

Mom was next to him and she gently punched him to stop him from talking.

“Hun, where’s Armie?” She asked.

“He’s parking the car, he’ll be up in a minute.”

She smiled when she approached me and saw that I was carrying a puppy.

“Hey little guy!” She was over the Moon happy and giggly when she took Archie from me and into her own arms. She loves to cuddle him. Mom kissed my cheeks as to welcome me home.

Now grandma’s holding her grandchild. Cute.

“He’s so good around us.” I said with a smile.

“Come on. Pizza’s here. We can eat and have an early night.” Victor scoffed behind us as he was putting glasses around the table.

Jules was handing them to him and he set the whole table by himself. Clearly, he was the hungriest out of us all.

“Tim?” Victor called for me across the room.

“Yeah?”

“Please, tonight, just…either be quiet or don’t do it at all. Please.” He said.

I froze. I stood in one place, eyes ready to pop out of my sockets and I was trying to hide my embarrassed smile, but I couldn’t. My red cheeks were speaking for me. Jesus, I knew they heard us but…yeah, I knew they heard us, what was I expecting? I didn’t need pictures in my head of my brother putting noise and action together. I think my loud screams confirmed that I’m on the bottom, but…who even questioned that? Wonder what Armie’s gonna say when I tell him? He’s gonna be embarrassed as well.

“Sorry, won’t happen again.” I said and wished for the ground to open up so it can swallow me whole.

“You’re such a jerk…” Jules muttered to him in the back.

“What…?” He was playing all shy and mighty.

Nicole was still cuddling Archie but couldn’t stop laughing at my face. She winked at me and made a face that said “Don’t you give a fuck what he said, you had fun.”

“Ignore him.” She whispered to me and put the dog down.

That’s when I realized I was still holding onto my jacket. I had to move from this place.

Armie walked in a minute later.

I ran up to him.

“They know.” I breathed out as he was taking his shoes off. I was still mortified.

“What?”

“They heard us this morning.” I’m whispering now.

Armie chuckled. This is funny to him?

“Who told you that?” He asked me.

“Victor.”

“Seriously, Tim, what did you expect?” He giggled a little and then grinned at me.

He doesn’t care, then neither do I.

We all sat down, had dinner, drank a little. After that, they were all taking turns on the shower while Armie and myself were in my bedroom, with doors locked.

Instead of speaking normally, Armie whispered to me to take my clothes off. I did, and soon, he did the same. I was naked again. I’m always naked, always.

Armie put on some silent music, cracked the window only by a bit.

He lied me down, my stomach pressed on the bed, and he took out some massage oil, I think. He straddled my butt but didn’t dare to sit on it, he was afraid to crush me. Armie poured the oil on my body and started massaging my neck, my back, my arms, legs, everything. If I was standing up, I’d be floored the second I’d feel his fingers on my skin. He is so good at this, he knows where to touch me and which spots are the sensitive ones, he knew the way muscles were lined up and where are the nerves. He knew it all. Why am I both so impressed and not to impressed, at the same time? I knew he could do anything.

“Where did you learn to do this?” I breathed out into the mattress as he was still handling my neck.

“I’ve been told by a lot of family members I had the so-called “bio energy” in me, I can heal. My grandma used to heal us with cracking out knuckles, as you are familiar with that method, even my mom did that to us when we were kids. Nobody taught me this, I’m just following your energy and muscles, that’s all.” He said and ran a hand down my back. I was seeing stars. My eyes were rolling at the back of my head. The good thing was that I’m not ticklish, we’d have a problem then.

First the hot water and now this. Armie is really doing his best to help me get better.

This must’ve lasted an hour or so because when we were done, he cleaned me up and put me back into my pajamas and his shirt, I passed out the same second my head hit the pillow. He knows how to exhaust me in so many different ways. I didn’t even stay up long enough to settle into Armie’s arms. I heard him closing the window, turning the music off, dressing up and lying next to me, and in the mean-time I’ve never fallen asleep faster or better in my life than I did that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	36. The birthmark on your shoulder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie have some fun time in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darlings! Hope your Saturday is going alright, please stay at home, stay safe and take care! Here's today's chapter, it's a type that we all...like i think, i hope i'm not the only one lol. Anyway, enjoy it, hope you'll like it and let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Armie’s moaning woke me up.

His soft, but not so silent, moans were filling out the air in my bedroom so early in the morning. I open my eyes to see what was going on. He’s lying on his side, his back facing me. I had to know why was he moaning. I rubbed my eyes and forced myself to wake up. I sat up by a bit to look at his face from the other side. His lips are parted, hot breath is coming out and he’s still moaning softly. I uncovered him and saw that Armie’s moving his hips underneath the blanket, back and forth, very, very slowly. His legs are intertwining, and his feet, that were sticking out due to me grasping onto the entire blanket, are squeezing and relaxing, squeezing and relaxing, over and over again. He’s having a sex dream. Wonder if I’m in it.

If I am and if I’m not, it is making me horny just listening to him. I never knew I could get turned on by someone’s voice or silent moans. There must be a term for that, since there are people who get off on watching other people have sex, and even some get off by showing off their naked body parts to other people.

I turned around to check the time on my phone. It was 06:15 am. Wow, he really has a big appetite in the morning. We match perfectly in that area. It would be a total shame to waste it now that he’s starting without me. I uncovered him completely. To my surprise, he was hard; the thing was sticking out through his light gray boxers. And he is leaking. I’ve shocked myself when I opened my mouth as wide as I could. I didn’t think it was possible for me to open wide this much, I don’t even do this when I’m at the dentist. Whatever he was dreaming about, and who ever was in his dream, it made him brutally hard. I’m not letting it go to waste.

Another moan and a hip thrust, and I feel the need to touch myself. I hissed when I shoved my hand down my pajama bottoms and began touching myself. Now I’m panting silently, and moaning at the same tone as he is. Armie’s making me horny so much, I’m squirming in one spot. He’s beyond hot and his sexy morning sounds are making me lose my mind.

I took my pajama bottoms off, my shirt and my boxers. I am naked once again. There’s nothing covering us and I’m using this right now. It doesn’t matter who goes into who, I just don’t want to waste this moment on a Sunday morning.

I press my naked body against his, throwing my leg over his hip, my hard cock already knocking on his lower back. He moans again. That’s it, I have to wake him up.

“Armie…” I moan his name against his back.

He’s silent but still intertwining his legs.

“Armie…wake up…” I sing to him his name in a soft and hot morning breath.

And then he stopped.

“Armie…”

I hear him inhale, exhale, he’s rubbing his eyes. Then he turned his head to the side to look at me.

“Armie…you were having a dream…” I spoke softly against his shoulder.

“Mhm…”

“Was I in it?” I smiled.

“How did you know?”

“You’re leaking…” I eye his boner.

He follows my eyes and was in total shock when he realized I was right. He felt embarrassed because I put it together that he had a sex dream.

“Oh, shit…sor-…”

I cut him off with a shush.

Why is he apologizing? It’s a perfectly normal thing, it happens to people all the time, it happened to me. But the fact that he was leaking because he was dreaming of me…

He wanted to get up and clean himself. What a waste.

“No, don’t. Don’t move. I heard you moaning, Armie. And moving your hips. It made me horny myself…” I said and bit my lower lip. He realized what I was talking about, he didn’t even need to turn around to see my boner. He knows me so well.

“Oh…and you don’t want this to go to waste?” Armie chuckled and kept his hand on my hip, not touching me.

“Nope…”

I giggled and kissed his shoulder up and up and up, until I’m at his lips.

“Good morning.” I whisper as I began kissing him. Slowly but gently stroking myself behind his back. He looks behind his back for a moment and realizes that I’m naked the entire time. He looks up at me and kisses me back.

“Good morning.”

“What were you dreaming about?” I asked, still touching myself.

“You. Us.” His morning voice is the most perfect thing in the world.

“And what were we doing in your dream?”

“You were doing it. Me.” He turned to look at me with a smirk.

Is that so? I was doing you? You were taking it? Well, well, well…nasty dreams he’s got.

“Oh, you want me to make that dream come true?” I whisper against his ear. Already feeling myself I’m so close to leaking just from the thought of having Armie this early in the morning. It’s been weeks since I topped him, he loved it back then.

He chuckles, my words are sinking to him. I love watching him like this.

“Oh, someone’s eager this morning.”

“Have we not met before?” I breathe out and laugh with him.

Silence.

It’s a silent Sunday morning, it’s snowing outside, it was warm in the room, warm in our bed, and it’s about to get really, really hot.

“Just…be quiet this time.” He turns to look at me.

“Me? You’re the one who’s gonna take it. Now, take your clothes off.” I ordered. He doesn’t hesitate for a second.

“Yes sir.”

Hey, that’s my line!

Armie began taking his boxers covered with a large load of pre-cum off, threw them across the room, then he took his shirt off and turned on his back. His hard cock was lying flat on his stomach. I stopped touching myself and started stroking him instead. Armie put one arm behind his head and with the other one, he cups my cock and does to me what I’m doing to him. I gasp when I felt his cold hand around me. Now we’re stroking each other, so early in the morning, looking at each other, kissing from time to time.

“How do you want me?” He asked after couple of minutes.

“The same way I found you.”

“You got it.”

He smiled and turned to his side. Armie took the pillow he was lying on from underneath his head and hugged it, it was useful to cover up some of the noise he’s about to make.

“You nervous?” I asked him and kissed his shoulder.

“I haven’t even fully woken up yet, and you’re expecting me to answer that question now?” He’s being sarcastic.

“Hush, you idiot. Give me a second.”

He nodded.

I turned around and opened the drawer to take the lube out. It’s been days since we used it.

I poured a large amount on my fingers and spread the liquid on the rest of the palm. He’s gonna need some practice, it’s been a while since he was opened like he was about to be. I’ll be gentle, like the first time, he’s gonna enjoy it. Armie was good and bent his leg in a knee, he thinks I need that much space, he’s so adorable. I lick my lips and push a finger between his butt cheeks, feeling his tight hole. To my surprise, it doesn’t feel like it’s that tight on the first touch. Armie breathes out a moan into the pillow when I touched him there. he lube must’ve been cold, it’s a normal reaction. My other hand is rather dead, so I raised it over his head, if he feels the need to grab it and hold onto it. He holds it anyway, I haven’t even started.

I’m still massaging his hole and it’s tickling him more than it should. He’s not gasping anymore, he’s giggling into the pillows, trying to be silent.

“Tim…oh…” He breathes out and grabs my face from behind to kiss me.

I stop kissing him but never remove my lips from his, they’re warm, wet and delicious.

“Armie, can I fuck you?” I breathe into his lips as I start thrusting my hips into his. He’s following my rhythm.

He just nods. When he gives me green light to go, I do it. I push an entire finger inside him.

After I’ve opened him up by a bit, everything else fell right as it should. It was like this for the next 20 minutes or so while we were having morning sex.

He was more opened, only by a bit; a managed to stuff three fingers inside him as he was losing him mind and had to keep his screams as silent as possible. That pillow had a great use for us. He was more relaxed when I began moving the fingers faster rather than slow. Once he gave me a sign that he was ready, and I agreed with him, I lubed my cock and pushed right inside. Armie bit onto the pillow and squeezed my hand until I was fully inside; I gave him time to adjust but he was way pass leaking, I knew he was close and he wouldn’t last much longer. He was stroking himself and breathing better and more normal as I was moving inside him. He was tight and hot and it was making me count stars in front of me. We were more quiet this morning than the previous one. I was beyond proud of him for breathing deeply and stroking himself, and even before we began, he was turned on which made it easier for me to open him up. His boner never went down. I heard the bed moving and I too had troubles controlling my moans; it got to the point where I felt like I was gonna choke on my moans because I couldn’t let them escape my mouth. I had to stuff my face into his the back of neck just to shut up, just to not get another round of humiliating lecture in front of everyone. Armie was burning up, tightening his muscles and when that jerk thought that it was a good idea to tease me, he squeezed his hole around me and I lost my goddamn mind. I grunted, out loud against his shoulder, and slap his hand over his cock and took it into my control. Now I’m dictating when he is gonna come, what a fucking tease…lt made me speed up moving my hips and him moaning faster and louder. Thankfully the pillow was there to shut him up, not cool dude. I was chocking behind him; he was so hot and his scent was already filling up the room, I was sure I wouldn’t survive unless I’d get the permission to scream out loud. When Armie told me he was close I put a finger over the hole on his cock.

“This is what you get for teasing me like that…” I grunt against his ear and bite the skin. He yelps but it’s just over-sensation. I’m the dominant one this time, deal with it.

“Tim…please…feels so good…ah…” He moaned, all sweaty and shining. He’s so gorgeous, but he’s gonna get what he deserves.

I bit into his shoulder and removed the thumb from his cock. I began jerking him faster and harder, as much as I could reach from that position. I slowed down behind him and was just making brutally slow thrusts inside him. The pillow was covered in his saliva and sweat, I’m surprised there was no blood, or the fact that none of his teeth fell out. He was repeating how good it felt, the entire morning. Soon enough he began shooting his load, covering my hand and some landed on the sheets. I wanted to eat my lips out because it was the hottest thing I have ever seen. I smiled at that as Armie let his head fall back, crushing against my forehead. Our sweaty bodies were sliding against one another. I bit into his neck and began shooting my semen inside of him; he gave me the permission to come inside of him. I was shaking when I emptied myself, still biting onto his skin to cover up my grunts and moans. Armie’s hyperventilating, he’s a sweaty mess in front of me.

“I’m so proud of you Armie.” I breathed out against his skin and kiss his shoulder blade.

I hate it but I had to pull out, I wanted to do something else.

I’m getting back at him. As a tiny guy, I can really make a big guy turn on his stomach quickly. Armie never hesitated; he lied flat on the mattress, hyperventilating, he has no idea what’s coming. But I acted fast enough for him not to react even faster. I was still shaking when I lied between his spread legs and dived my tongue between his butt cheeks.

Armie cried out my name over and over again, sobbing at the sensation. I’ve never done this before, there’s always room for the first timers. I was sucking out my own semen between my teeth on early Sunday morning and I was loving it. God, it felt so bad and good at the same time, it was so hot, so sick and twisted, but it was me showing him how much I worship him and how much I love getting back at him for teasing me.

He tugged my hair when I was done and crushed our lips together. That’s when I realized how I used watch out whenever he’d grab my neck, I was in pain for a day or two, but now I’m feeling much better. The hot bath helped and last night massage therapy also.

“Kiss me…before it’s all gone.” He muttered and was sucking my face; my nose, my chin, my lips, teeth and tongue. He’s as sick as me.

After this he just collapsed in front of me and was slowly giving up on waking up.

“You wanna sleep some more?” I asked him, caressing his hair. He just nodded at that with a forced smile that was gone quickly, he was breathing normally again. After this, he simply let the dream overtake him.

“Sleep…you did good…you deserve the rest.” I whispered even though he was already out.

I stood up, still shaking and working on my breathing. I had to cover him up, he can’t sleep naked. I wiped my hand with a wet wipe, put the lube back into the drawer and lied down next to him. I wasn’t tired, I had to stop and review the entire situation: Armie had a vivid and real sex dream that woke me up, I took the chance and made his dream come true. Now I was thinking about getting up and dressing myself to go out and meet the others. I prayed internally that no one was awake and heard us. But first, I began composing a plan in my head what to get him for Christmas while still lying next to him. I looked over at him, he looked so peaceful. This time, he was sleeping on his stomach, facing me, lips puffy and parted, soft snores traveling between them, his hair was fluffy and messy, it fell over his sweaty forehead, Armie’s illegally long eyelashes were silky and blonde, just like his hair, and in this morning light I realized how long they actually were. I could smell him, it was intoxicating as always, this type of scent never leaves a person. Either his scent is evaporating from his body at the moment or I have that scent stuck inside my nose or something. Whatever it is, I liked it very much.

I let my eyes travel across his upper body, the lower part was covered, and I noticed something I never noticed before. He had a light birthmark on his left shoulder, almost non-visible and it goes more towards the back. How did I never not notice this? How did I miss it? He’s been in my arms naked for a month, and I managed to miss this. I touch it, watching his reaction, but there is none. I smiled because it made me love him even more; his skin is so flawless and this birthmark, this tiny birthmark on this huge guy…I couldn’t stop smiling, it was so cute and I wanted to worship it. This was given to him on birth, it stayed with him for 26 years, never changing a shape, or the color, or the place. I love it, so I bent down and kissed it. Armie didn’t move one bit. Sometimes, when he’s not responding, I wonder if he’s even alive.

I went back to my head and planning the gift; I should get him something unique, something he can use or not…it’s our first ever holiday together and I suck at buying gifts. I need to be smart now. What would he like the most?

My mind is racing. A book? Nah, he’s got plenty. A very unique and old book? Yeah, that would work but where to look? Online, at a book store? Even if they have it, it will take more than 4 days to get here, and plus…the budget, I had to limit it. Okay, next? Clothes? No, that’s stupid. Something unique? And not too expensive. Jewelry? He doesn’t wear it. A wallet? Not bad but I’d have to get him a real one, and that costs a lot. Some hygiene stuff…okay…this is ridiculous, he’s not 12, he’s 26, and it’s Christmas.

Think, think, think…

I know exactly what! I’ll go tomorrow and get it, I have some savings. I just hope he’ll like it. The chance was perfect to sneak off and do some shopping for everyone but I decided to wait until tomorrow, I’ll be sure about them working on a Monday morning rather than on Sunday. I’m more nervous about getting him the perfect gift, and not for the others.

Okay, tomorrow morning, I’m gonna either sneak off or make up an excuse to leave and go shopping. After I cleared that out, I got up, got dressed and went out. It was almost 07:30 am. The apartment is empty. Thank God! Only Archie was there waiting for me. I wanted to feed him but I would have to take him out first. That’s what I did. I put my jacket on and we went outside for a short walk. It was cold and empty, no people in sight. He was running around, sniffing and doing his business, I was looking after him like he was my own child. We came back after 20 minutes and I poured his doggy food into one of his bowls, I filled the other one with water.

Then I made myself coffee and was on my phone the entire time. Mom woke up first, then Jules and then Victor. It was close to noon and Armie still wasn’t up. I told them that he’s probably tired, not telling them what I did to him so early this morning. Victor went out and got us all breakfast; he got some for Armie too. I love this.

All four of us gathered in the living room, drinking coffee, I was drinking tea, and we talked about past Christmas stories and laughed, as quiet as possible, Armie was still asleep. Somewhere close to 1 pm the woke up, all dressed up, puffy and walking differently. I smiled when I saw him, it was so visible. As much as I felt embarrassed about them hearing us, I kind of wanted them to look at him and know what we did. It’s awful but him showing up like that made me grin and eat my own lip. He sat next to me, of course, not that easily. We were being nice for everyone’s sake and for the respect towards the rest of the group. Our intimate stuff: kisses and sex, are for us when we’re intimate. He apologized for sleeping so much, they all thought he was being ridiculous, and then he joined us for morning coffee and breakfast. He fits so perfectly with us, they’re all smitten with him. Three out of three Chalamets were smitten with him, and of course, his biggest fan ever, Jules, seemed more smitten than me. I love this so fucking much. I’m so blessed with everything and everyone in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still wonder if "Mystery of love" had the lyrics "The birthmark on your shoulder..." because of Armie's birthmark in the exact same spot.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	37. The possibile impossibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The summery of the next four days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning lovess!! I hope you're safe and staying in and are taking care of yourself and the ones around you! Here's a Monday morning chapter that i hope can brighten someone's day. Hope you'll like it, enjoy the chapter and let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️

The next four days went by pretty fast. Armie stayed with us the entire time. We spent all of our time together, I never felt happier about having someone with me every step of the way, every minute of every day. Some might get suffocated, but the only time I’d suffocate was when he was not around me. I got so used to him, I don’t even want to remember what my life was before he came in. It was boring and so basic. Now, it’s still boring, it’s still basic, but with Armie next to me.

On that Sunday noon, Armie woke up pretty late. And when he did, I noticed he was walking differently. And he had to squirm couple of times whenever he’d try to sit down. But he never showed it on his face; he was smiling all the time, even while he was changing his positions from time to time. I felt proud and I was glad we can both experience these types of sex “injuries”. It was a sight for sore eyes to watch him struggle in front of my family.

That night, we went back to his place, filled up the bathtub again and relaxed for almost two hours. We had to keep on filling the tub with hot water just so we could stay as long as possible. We lied opposite side each other, listening to some slow and silent music, smoking and not talking, not touching, no interruptions. We didn’t have sex in the tub, we did, however had sex when we got back to my place. This time, he was on the bottom again. I took Armie from behind. On my biggest surprise, he took it pretty well, I didn’t need much work to open him up and he did most of the moving this time. In the end, when he felt that he was close, he himself turned on his back and pulled me on top of him to straddle his hips. Armie grabbed both of our cocks in one hand and jerked us off together while kissing me until we both decorated his hairy chest with our semen.

The next morning, Armie was still asleep and I took my chance and went out to get everyone their gifts. It was 8 am, nobody was awake, only me. First I crossed Victor off, then mom and then Jules. I got some clothes for the ladies and a book for Victor because he was bugging me about it. I told him he can read it at the library. He said it’s not the same, he’d rather have it in his room for a lot longer than couple of days, without returning it. I understood that. I got him his precious book. After that, I went and got Armie his gift, it took a lot longer because I had to pick the model, the color and to get informed on how to use it or to just follow instructions. I was so happy they had it, I wasted all of my money on him. If he likes it, it will be worth every penny. The rest of the day flew by and so did the day after that one. On Monday we didn’t have sex at all, we weren’t tired at all, we agreed it was good to pause sometimes and just slept with our clothes on, talking and laughing. On Tuesday, we were alone in the afternoon, because everyone left to go Christmas shopping, we took the chance and some time in the bathroom. We didn’t have sex then, we were just easily and slowly jerking each other off in the shower. For the first time in a while, Armie washed my hair and I washed his. We were playing again in front of the mirror. He was combing my hair and splitting it at funny places. He took pictures of me with that silly hair style; we were fully naked, we had towels around our hips. I did the same to him, told him he looked like a dork. We dried off only by a little, but only to put our boxers on. Armie rushed to the bedroom and got back fast, he handed me the shaving foam and the razor. Once again, Armie raised me to sit on a stool there and I shaved his beard. By that point, there was much more than it was the last time I shaved him. I’ll tell him to let it grow the next time, I would love to see him with a beard, like a real man. He was looking at me the entire time. I was careful, didn’t cut him anywhere, he survived next to me.

“Your turn kid…” He said and began looking through the cabinets to find my razor. I was more busy touching my so called beard and mustache, looking in the mirror behind me, than pointing the razor to him. Once he found it, he put the foam on my face and shaved off my baby hair with four razor movements. They were barely visible but he had my permission to shave off anything from my face. Now we were both clean shaved and fresh.

After we were done, Armie left to go shopping. He came back after almost two hours.

On Wednesday, it was Christmas. We had dinner at the evening and did nothing special for the rest of the night, or the entire day at all. I was excited that we all celebrated Christmas this year together. Back in our room, at midnight, while everyone was already asleep, on the 26th of December Armie and I exchanged gifts. I was so nervous about him opening mine. It was in a box, wrapped in blue paper. When he opened it he was out of breath. Armie pulled out a blue Polaroid camera with the film.

“Tim…” He breathed out with a grin on his face.

“Do you like it?”

The camera was too small for his huge hands but it looked just right in my hands when I was picking her out.

“Are you fucking kidding me? It’s so…perfect, Tim. Perfect. Thank you so much!” He wanted to be quiet but I could see he was unable to contain his excitement. He pulled me in and kissed me deeply.

“I didn’t know I needed this, and now that I have it, I can’t wait to make pictures with you.” He grinned, checking out the camera.

“Not just with me…use it on something else.”

“Right. You and Archie. I can’t wait to use it.” He said

I giggled. He’s gonna have this little thing with him that captures pictures at the moment, and he’s gonna carry it with him the whole time.

“Use it now, test it out.” I said, still smiling.

“Good point.”

He raised a camera and pointed it at me.

“No! Not at me!” I covered my face with my hands, I don’t like having my picture taken.

“Then where? Anything else and I’d be wasting the film.” He winked at me when he lowered the camera down.

“Okay…” I gave up eventually.

“Look at the camera.” I did, I looked right at the objective; I tried not to smile too much or look too dead. He clicked it and few seconds later, a picture popped out.

“Don’t shake it.” I told him because the guy at the story told me not to shake the picture, the ink would be all smudged up and the picture would be ruined.

He took it in his hands and I sat next to him, watching as my face appeared on a white screen in his hand.

“See…perfection. I’m gonna keep this one in my wallet.” He said and kissed my cheek next to him.

I must’ve blushed. Now I think how giving him a wallet wasn’t such a bad idea. But then he wouldn’t have me in it.

“Your turn, kid.” He said and handed me a small bag.

I unwrapped it and found a little white box at the end. When I opened the box, I noticed a very beautiful bracelet. I think I’ve stopped dead in my tracks. It was so beautiful, so breath taking, because that’s exactly how I felt opening his gift. I took it out.

“Real silver. I got this a while ago, I was saving it for this special occasion.” He said.

“I…” It was so beautiful and it was mine, he got this for me and I couldn’t believe I was about to be the owner of this beautiful silver bracelet.

“Say something.”

“Something.”

“Oh, you little shit.”

We both laughed at this. I was still very much in shock.

“It’s real silver. These are the charms, you have five of them: love, health, happiness, wealth and fortune.” He pointed them out, one by one.

I let go, I didn’t want to hold it in me anymore. A silver bracelet with five charms that are all essential to a person’s life. It was so beautiful and it had such a deep meaning. I broke down crying in front of him.

“Hey, hey, hey…no tears. Come on, put it on.” He whispered against my temple.

“You put it on.”

He took the bracelet from my hand and put it around my right wrist.

“See? Perfect.” He whispered again and kissed my cheek.

“Thank you.” I whispered and kissed him on the lips.

“Oh, baby, I didn’t want to make you cry today.”

As long as I’m wearing this, I will have him with me by my side at all times.

That night we made love. Yes, we made love. I was lying on my back and Armie was on top of me the entire time; he never left my sight, his hands never left mine, his lips never left mine. He was gentle and slow. We were making love while my beautiful silver bracelet with five charms was making all the music for us.

The next morning, we all gathered around and opened our gifts. We were really amazed by the gifts Armie gave us. Mine was the most perfect. They all loved my gifts and I loved theirs, especially because they had to emphasize that they were also for my birthday, a bit early but with double meaning. I don’t think Armie believed me when I told him they actually did this, so when I opened Victor’s and Jules’ gift and heard them say that, I looked over at Armie as to tell him “I told you so”. Only mama got me one and said it herself that it’s for Christmas, the other one is coming in tomorrow. Armie was really touched that he got such beautiful gifts from my family.

On second thought, maybe I should’ve given them all ear plugs. That would be my gift to them, and their gift to us. There, problem solved.

It was 11:30 pm when they all went to bed on a Thursday night. I stayed in the kitchen to clean everything up when I felt Armie’s arms around my waist.

“Leave that…come to bed, I have to tell you something.” He whispered and left immediately, I didn’t even turn around and he was already gone into the dark hallway.

I left everything as it is, turned the lights off and followed him.

Armie was sitting on our bed when I locked the door behind me. I sat next to him. I’m nervous, what is he gonna say? Good? Bad? I have no clue.

“Look Tim…” His voice was low but he sounded determined.

I looked at him, feeling my anxiety rising.

“I know it’s your birthday tomorrow. I didn’t get you anything, I didn’t get you a real gift. I’m not gonna do what everyone does for your birthday, combining Christmas, your day and New Year, no. But…I am going to give you something you will never forget.”

I wanted to cut him off and tell him that that doesn’t matter, that the silver bracelet was more than enough, it’s the perfect gift for both Christmas and my birthday. But when he added the last part…

“I booked us a room in a very fancy hotel. Everything is already reserved and paid in advance. The room is from tomorrow evening, until Sunday night, but we can extend it to be a day or two longer. We drop your mom off at the airport tomorrow afternoon, we go back home, pack some things and leave. The hotel has a nice restaurant in it, but who says we need to get out of our room to eat. We can order room service. But the main thing is…we don’t have to leave the room for three days. Let’s use it like it counts. Anything you want, any time of the day and for as how long as you want it…I’m there.”

I was rather stunned, did not expect this, no one has ever done this for me…three days locked inside with him, There’s only one thing we’re good at when we’re locked together. There’s not a doubt in my mind that that’s what he meant. My birthday is gonna last three day, filled with constant sex, love and adoration.

“Any questions?” He added when he finished, he looked at me.

“Only one.” I said and grinned. I already can’t wait for tomorrow.

“Shoot.”

“Will I be needing a wheelchair after this?”

Armie laughed out loud and was still laughing when he was done.

“Ha! I’ll make sure I don’t go that far.”

Oh, really…how far are we gonna go, though? Quite frankly, I’m also a bit scared. I got up to open up a window for a while but Armie’s hand on mine stopped me.

“No, no, no…don’t move…” He whispered.

I stood between his opened legs and he pulled me closer to him, he raised my shirt and began kissing my tummy. His short beard was tickling me but I liked it. I was caressing his hair the entire time he was putting open and wet kisses on my skin.

“I like it when you kiss me there.” I whispered and smiled.

“Yeah?” He looked up.

“Mhm…”

He continues kissing me there.

“I’m just…picturing…a baby here…” Between every word, there is a kiss on my tummy.

Armie’s biggest dream is to get me pregnant, nothing else matters. He’s cute that he thinks that is possible. But if there’s one thing I learned about Armie and that’s that he’s very stubborn, persuasive and determined, and he will not stop until he gets what he wants. Even if he’s defying the laws of logic and science.

“Armie, we’ve been over this. No matter how hard or how much or even how often you come inside me, you’re not gonna impregnant me.” I giggled when I said this.

Armie looked up at me again.

“Have we not met before? I will seek to it until you’re blessed with a child.

“Oh, a real Christmas miracle!”

We both laughed. I like it when my cheeks hurt because of how good he makes me feel, and I like it when he’s laughing and happy.

“But seriously now…I wouldn’t want to raise a baby with anyone else but you.” He said.

“Me too…” I nodded.

That’s one of the few things we can agree on. All we need is a baby.

“It’s not so much as having a baby with you, but more like…getting you knocked up.”

Silence. He has that sort of kink. Well, I love when a man is determined to get another man pregnant. I love the determination.

“Did you ever picture, if our genes would combine, how would our baby look like?” I asked. I wanted to know if he ever dreams about it because I do. Constantly. It’s not so much about the baby, it’s more like…what kind of a father would Armie be. That thing turns me on so much. I can picture him getting up in the middle of the night, shushing the baby, feeding it, and in the morning, I’d wake up to an empty bed and I’d find him sitting on a bar stool with our baby in his arms. Armie would let the baby stuff food into his mouth and he’d have a blast. He’d be an amazing dad.

“All the time.” He said and continued kissing my tummy and transferring kissed to our non-existing child.

“I’d really like a baby girl as our first.” I said and caressed his hair back.

Armie looked up.

“Oh my…me too…”

He smiled widely at me. These are all plans for the future, a very distant future. A very distant future in the parallel universe.

“The boy would have curly blonde hair, my blue eyes and your jawline. And the girl would have curly blonde hair, my blue eyes, and your cheekbones and your smile.” Armie whispered against my wet tummy. Maybe his words can make something out of it.

He really did think a lot about this. It warmed my fucking heart.

“They would both be smart and beautiful like their daddy.” I added.

Silence. He’s not moving. Oh…did I hit a nerve? I must’ve, because then Armie looked up at me, his eyes were stiff, he had a very serious look on his face. I know what I did.

“Not now Tim…” He muttered against my skin.

“Something wrong daddy?” I soften my voice and, intentionally, push one leg between his and he locked my legs like that. I did hit a nerve. He released me and rushed to rub his cock through his sweat pants. Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun tomorrow night.

“Jesus, Tim…” He breathed out against my skin and bit it, I yelped.

“Hey, you’re the one talking about babies, we might as well jump right into it. I already started. Daddy…” I giggled.

“Tim…” He was still rubbing himself.

“Yes, daddy?” One last shot.

“That’s it!”

I laughed when he just embraced me and threw me on the bed behind him. Before I knew what was going on, he undressed me so quickly, I never saw this one coming. Oh, am I fooling? Of course I did. Armie turned me on my stomach and within the next five seconds he only undid his bust and took his cock out, coated him with his saliva and entered me. For a moment I was waiting for him to tell me that I’m bleeding. Luckily, I landed on a pillow and, yet again, it silenced my screams, not moans, screams. I sobbed the entire time as he was pushing deeper and deeper inside of me. My God it was so brutal and so fucking hot, I almost bit through the pillow case. I might get that wheelchair now. Armie was already balls deep inside me and he was pushing in to get his cock as deeper and possible. It felt like he was hitting my liver, rearranging my guts, penetrating through other organs. It was insane how deep he was. I did cry that out, I moaned that he was so fucking deep and he, like I knew he would, tried going deeper. This is what I get for teasing him. It felt so good, I loved it when he would go so brutal on me, but I also loved when we would make love, nice and slowly. He’d get up by a little and pull my hair backwards and slam my head back onto the pillow; it’s an extraordinary feeling. Even better when he squeezed my neck with his arm, so tightly to the point where I was seeing it coming: I almost passed out. Armie slammed my head against the pillow once again and collapsed on top of me as he was fucking me from a regular day to my birthday.

He fucked me so hard that night, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if I were to wake up the next day with a baby bump, already in 6th month.

I was so fucking exhausted and so satisfied after he came inside me, I couldn’t hide my smile even though I was totally clueless about where and who was I.

“Tim?” Armie’s calling for me.

I opened my eyes and saw that he was supporting his body on his elbows next to me.

“Hey, babe…it’s already the 27th. Happy birthday baby!” He smiled widely at me, there were tears in my eyes. I was finally 19.

“Thanks…” I muttered against the pillow with a smile.

He kissed me deeply, taking me from one place to the other mentally.

“You wanna come now?” He asked.

“Where?”

“No, you idiot. Do you wanna come…the other term, idiot.” He was laughing.

Oh yeah.

“Oh…fuck…yeah…” I giggled with him, waking up slowly.

“God, I love you so much…” He said as he moved lower to help me turn on my back.

“I love you too…” I muttered.

I winced when I laid on my back. It didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to. Especially because there was no foreplay, no preparation, no lube. I want to be taken like this all the times.

Armie went down between my legs and began sucking me off until I filled his hot mouth with my semen. He swallowed everything and made sure there was nothing left.

He got naked and helped me get into bed. The last thing I remember was him telling me how he can’t wait until tomorrow.

“Tomorrow is today.” I said and I was off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an Orthodox Christian, i hope i got it right about the Christmas, we celebrate Christmas on January the 7th and there are no presents here, just homemade food lol.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is going soon.


	38. Deep secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy start their weekend get-away in a very fancy hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening loves!! Sorry for a late update, but i've been working on something for days and i'm really on fire now. Keep in mind that what you're about to read is just speculation and fiction and maybe none of it it's true (oh, you're not fooling anyone, A, we've seen you're twitter liking lol). This is even a new area of writing even for me, so bear with me here. Anyway, i hope you're safe and taking care of yourselves. Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like and let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Armie’s plan did, in fact, come to life. On a Thursday night, right before my birthday ticked down at midnight, we all agreed to wake up early on a Friday morning. We all set up our alarms and parted our ways. Mom had her flight at 6 pm, she had to be there at least 2 hours earlier and we needed an hour to get to the airport. That would mean we’d have to leave around 3 pm. We all set up alarms between 9 am and 10 am, just so we could have breakfast together and coffee. And later on, help her pack and we’d go to a bistro where we all loved going, around 1 pm for a quick bite before she leaves. We agreed that, this time, Armie and I would be the ones who’d drive her to the airport, but we’d all have lunch together, the five of us.

When I opened my eyes, I saw that Armie was already awake and on his phone. It pained me to wake up because, suddenly, my bed has never felt this much comfortable, I was sleeping on my stomach, facing him. I muttered some incoherent noise against my pillow just so he could notice my existence. And he did. He looked at me and put his phone down.

“Good morning, sunshine.” He turned to his side and spoked softly. He kissed my forehead.

“Mmm…morning. What time is it?” I yawned it out.

“It’s um…09:26 am.”

I woke up four minutes before the alarm, he woke up before me. I hope we’re the only ones.

“Happy birthday again. I don’t know if you remember me saying it last night. You were pretty exhausted.” He said and chuckled. Armie had a beautiful smile in the morning.

“I remember. Thanks…” I giggle with him, but I am too tired to continue laughing.

We waited until my alarm went off. I grunted because I hated the sound and it never meant anything good.

Unwillingly, I got up, and got dressed. As I was putting my socks on, I had to be careful where and how I sit down. Armie took me pretty hard the night before, of course there were consequences, I asked for it, he didn’t hesitate one bit. I didn’t even need to look myself in the mirror, I knew I was swollen and puffy. The sleep was good and sex was amazing, those two combined…and then there’s me, looking like this.

Armie walked out first and went to the bathroom, I followed him out. To my surprise, everyone was already up and dressed. Jules rushed first to wish me a happy birthday when she saw me, then mama, then Victor. I thanked them all and Jules grabbed my hand and sat me down at the table. She made pancakes for breakfast with a candle sticking on top. I was beyond touched, it’s so sweet.

What I found weird enough is that they were just now decorating the tiny Christmas tree we had, because we didn’t have the room for the big tree. We didn’t do it last year, we only put some lights on because two years in a row we’ve been over in San Francisco with mom and she got everything decorated. She did complain about not having a tree for Christmas and they were just now decorating it when I walked out of my room. They stopped halfway as we sat down, all five of us, we had breakfast and later on, while the coffee was getting ready, I jumped and said that I was gonna go and take Archie out for a walk.

“You wanna do that?” Armie asked me, he sounded surprised.

“Yeah, why not?” We did talk about babies the previous night, this was the perfect place to start.

I moved to the hallway to put my shoes and my jacket on. Armie appeared and put the leash on the puppy.

“You okay?” He asked me.

“Of course. I just love being with him. And um…some walking might train me from last night.” I came closer and whispered it to him.

“Hey, you asked for it.” He bit right back and kissed my temple.

“I did.”

I kissed him and walked out.

It was so silent outside, it was still early and it really did snow in. Archie had a very cool sweater that said “security” on it, which was the most adorable thing ever.

When we got back, after 20 minutes or so, they were all drinking coffee and waiting for me. The tree was up, maybe a little late but Jules did say it would at least be up for New Year, if we missed Christmas. I joined them, cuddled up against Armie, he put his arm around my shoulder and brought me closer to snuggle with him.

After that, mama began packing and we were all helping her. She was constantly talking about how she hates going back there when it was my birthday. But, duty calls. She got seven days off and I hope she used them wisely. She was done quickly and we just chilled until It was ready to go to the bistro.

We all settled into Armie’s car and we were off.

At lunch, it was the five of us. They ordered the dessert and they brought out a chocolate cake with candles. I was so embarrassed but in a good way, I was touched. They sang to me and clapped, so did the other people in the bistro. I thanked everyone and blew out the candles, Armie was the first one to kiss my forehead and the others just kissed my cheeks and hugged me. Did not see it coming. Wonder whose idea was it. I have a wild guess.

After we were done, Armie drove Jules and Victor home, they said goodbye to mom and went inside. We drove for another hour or so, we talked the entire time, mostly mom and Armie, we laughed and I felt very sad that she had to leave, especially because it was my birthday, and the big question was when will I see her again, next year for sure. This time, we’ll fly to her.

An hour had passed and finally those two did as well. The more time we spent at the airport, the more I was excited and nervous for our three nights in a hotel room adventure that would begin in just a few hours. When it was time for mom to leave, she first took Armie aside and talked to him for a while, then she hugged him tightly and kissed him. I am so happy she adores him and that we have her blessing. After him, she came up to me and hugged me so tightly, I never wanted to leave that hug, she kissed my cheeks, my forehead and my hair. I had tears in my eyes. I hate when she leaves us, I hate that we don’t see each other more often.

“No, no tears baby. Next year, during spring break, you can come over and stay with us as long as you want.” She cupped my cheeks and that made me cry harder.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, baby.” She kissed my nose and let go of my face. Luckily, Armie was there to hold my shoulders. It’s like he knew that I needed a touch right at that moment.

Then she took out an envelope with my name on it.

“I didn’t get you anything for your birthday, but here…you buy yourself something nice and it will be a gift from me.” She said and kissed me again.

“Okay. Thanks mom…”

Armie carried her luggage to the gate. I walked over with her, not letting go of her hand. I’m a real mama’s boy, and I’m proud to show it.

We all hugged once again and she was off.

“Boys, take care! I’ll let you know when I land.” She said, turning around and waving at us.

“Bye Nicole!”

“Bye bye mama…” I whispered, knowing she can’t hear me, waving at her.

I calmed myself down, wiped my tears on our way out. We stopped outside and smoked a cigarette. 

“You okay, Tim?” He asked.

“Yeah, I just…I hate not seeing her more often. I know I’m a grown up, an adult and I’ve gotten used to this arrangement and her schedule.” I said and inhaled a smoke.

“You’ll see her soon. And there’s always a phone and a camera…”

“I know…I know…I always get sad when she leaves.”

“That’s understandable.”

I looked at him.

“You’re a real mama’s boy, Timmy.” He giggled. I smiled widely at him.

“Yeah I am…”

Armie put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple. It’s exactly what I needed. I know this topic isn’t really his area of expertise, considering the relationship he has with his mom.

Once we were done, we hoped in the car and we were off as well.

“What did she tell you?” I asked him halfway through our drive back.

Armie just turned to me and smiled.

“You’re not gonna tell me?” I should’ve seen this coming.

“I’m not gonna tell you.” He grinned.

“Why not?”

“It’s private.”

I scoffed.

We first stopped at his place for him to pick up some of his things for the hotel, I was waiting for him in the car, he told me to. He was done in less than 10 minutes.

Then we headed straight back to my place for me to pack. I told them where we’re going and for how long, and while I was packing, I heard Armie talking with Jules and Victor about Archie. They insisted on taking care of him while he’s not here. He told them when to feed him, when to walk him, what to do with him, and overall everything. I was ready in 15 minutes and we were off.

We drove off to this fancy hotel Armie had it planned for us to spend some alone time together. We deserved it. It was in a fancy neighborhood, I wasn’t surprised, he loved spoiling me so much.

It’s called “The Bowery Tower” hotel.

The lobby was fucking huge, and empty. People were already on their way to some exotic place to spend Christmas and New Year with their families.

We walked over to the reception. Armie seemed like he knew what to do and how to act. I, on the other hand, was more busy looking around, looking at tell ceilings and expensive stuff that filled the huge lobby.

There was a young lady working at the reception’s desk. She smiled when she saw two new customers coming in.

“Good evening.” She said, it disturbed my attention.

“Hi…” I said.

“Hello…” Armie said.

“Can I help you?” The young lady said and smiled.

“Yes, I booked a room for three days under the name Hammer.”

“One moment, please…”

She began looking through the computer.

“It’s so fancy here…” I whispered to him, looking around.

“Ah, yes…here you are. Three days. The check-out is on Sunday at 4 pm, but you can always extend the stay, just let me know a day earlier. The hotel has a restaurant through there…”

She pointed her hand towards the door that lead to the restaurant. Girl, we won’t be seeing the restaurant any time soon.

“Great, thank you.” Armie said and handed her his credit card.

“I thought you said everything was paid in advance.” I whispered next to him. What did I except?

He only winked at me.

“Thank you.”

“Two keys. Room 16, on the 5th floor. The elevator is this way.” She gave Armie the keys and pointed where the elevators are.

Is this a joke? 516, again.

“Enjoy your stay here.” She said and smiled at us.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you so much!”

And we were off to the elevators. It took us to the 5th floor, room 16.

When Armie opened the door with the key card I was stunned. A huge bedroom. A big king-sized bed on the right, the balcony was right ahead, and a big table with two chairs on the left. On the right side of the room was the bathroom, I didn’t even bother checking. I let go of my bag, took my shoes off and jumped on the big ass bed.

“You like it?” Armie asked with a huge grin on his face.

“Of course!”

“I thought this would be good for us. We have our own place, some alone time…” He said and began taking shoes off as well.

“Oh I agree…I don’t ever wanna leave this place.”

I heard him laughing, he was on his way to check out the bathroom, I was still lying on the big ass king-sized bed.

He came out after couple of seconds and I noticed he was looking nervous about something? We planned this perfect get-away ahead, why was he so nervous all of a sudden? Maybe he was just tired, or hungry or he misses his pup.

“You okay?” I asked him and sat on the bed. I took my jacket off. I had a sweater underneath it.

He was still standing and taking his jacket off, putting it on the chair next to the bed. He nodded and smiled but that smile was erased quickly. If there is a problem, or if there is something bothering him, I’d appreciate it if he would talk about it.

“Look, Tim…I want to be opened with you on a very specific topic.” Armie said and that got me feeling nervous as well.

“Oh, okay…”

“Since we’re getting really serious and I don’t see the reason for hiding these things about me…from you. I didn’t tell you everything there is. This has been a part of me for a very long time and it’s something I’ve been successful at controlling as to not freak you out, but when I’m with you and when you look at me like that sometimes, I think it’s better I let you in completely. It’s nothing scary, maybe disturbing but…”

Oh my God, what now? I thought we were done. What is there more to hide? He sat down next to me and took my hand in his.

“For the last month or so, with you I realized that…you’re into some freaky shit in bed, Tim. You like it rough and dry, you don’t mind me being violent…sometimes, you don’t mind when I choke you, or pull your hair or when we role play, or even when I spit on you. Trust me, those things are not new to me, I haven’t just discovered them with you. If you think I haven’t done that before, you’re dead wrong. Dead fucking wrong. The first time we had sex, or…the first time I was on top, and when you told me to choke you, you unleashed an animal from the cage, you need to know that.”

Oh, I might like where this is going. If it’s the sex stuff…I can handle that, but keeping something related to his past that can be crucial about our relationship…that I will not tolerate again.

“You see…I’m gonna be completely honest here and I hope you won’t run away, but seeing as you are fine with what we do…I like being a dominant lover. It’s something that I _need_ to be, something I _need_ to do, to take charge and control the situation. And you’re letting me.”

This isn’t new to me, I’ve seen him in action before as a…dominant lover.

“Every previous relationship I had before you…I tried doing that, I tried spicing up things and tried to be the dominant one but each and every girl…found it rather disgusting and sick. One relationship ended because I squeezed her neck during sex and she stopped all action and left me, saying that I’m sick and that that’s something people who are sadists love to do. Others called it freaky and twisted, saying that I don’t respect them or their bodies, that I only see them as sex objects, like a toy. Which is not true, Tim. Never have I ever looked at a woman as a sex object. I cared for them, deeply. But I had to change, or at least tone it down a bit, I had to let it die inside me for a while. Until I met you. And you’re so…beautiful and sexy and probably, at least 50 %, into the same shit that I am. You don’t find it weird or disgusting. Actually, you seemed you’re more into it than I am. When we go that far, as far as chocking and hair and neck pulling, I never, never, ever look at you as a sex object. I see and I know how much you love me. I see it as a…respect, towards me and my sexual appetite. You participate in it because I love it and because you’re curious and you want more. You want more all the time. All the fucking time, Tim.”

I see…they all ran away…I’m still here.

“I’ve never felt this alive when I’m with you. There are no boundaries between us when it comes to sex.”

Armie breathed out for a moment and then continued.

“And there’s even more to it, something I’ve tried before and didn’t last long enough to see if the other person would be into it as me. So, I’m here wondering if you’d be up for it.” He squeezed my hand and looked at me.

“What do you mean?” I asked him, he was talking this entire time.

“I’ve brought something with me, and if you’re not okay with it, we won’t use it, we won’t come anywhere near it…”

I interrupted him.

“What, like…ropes and sex toys?” I chuckled.

Silence.

“Yeah…”

“You brought them here?”

I was shocked. Where did he put them, what the fu-…oh…that’s why he told me to wait in the car while he was packing.

“Yes, and If you don’t want to come near it, I understand it…”

“The fuck Armie? I haven’t even tried it, how could I know if I’m not into it.” I chuckled and bit my lip.

I’ve always been beyond curious about that stuff. In all honesty, there wasn’t even someone I could’ve tried it with, until he came along.

“Fuck it…show me what you got.” I said. Let him know what I’m at least opened to the idea of trying.

“Really?” Now he was the one in shock.

“Yeah…I don’t see why not. I mean…it’s crucial for a relationship that we try everything and explore all the topics. Maybe I’ll like it, maybe not, but if that turns you on and not me, then we’ll keep doing it for you…”

Armie shook his head.

“No, absolutely not, out of the question. If you don’t like it, we won’t do it.” He said and held my hand tightly.

“I’ve always been curious though. And it began when I met you…oh no, wait, it’s not true. It was even before you. It was back when I was still…playing with myself at night, imagining you brutally taking me, making me submit to you, calling you names and letting you in. That kind of shit really turned me on.”

We both breathed out and laughed a little. Armie really brough his toys to play with me this weekend. Now I can’t wait to try them out.

“Let’s give it a shot. I don’t see why not. I don’t see why we don’t try it. I mean…it can’t be bad, you know me, you know how I like it. Besides, I love it when you play with me and torture me and tease me, and yes, when you’re rough and when you pull my…okay, I’m stopping, I’m gonna get hard.” I chuckled and so did he.

Armie let go of my hand and cupped my face, caressing his lips against my cheek.

“You’re a wonder. We’re in this together.” He whispered against my skin.

“I want to do this with you. Because I love you and I respect you and I’d be damned if I were to pass up an opportunity to be dominated over by someone like you.” I said.

He nodded.

“Let’s give it a shot. Show me what you got.” I parted away from him and bit my lip smiling still.

“Okay…after dinner. We’ll go downstairs and…” He said.

“No, I want to see it now.”

“Now?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Mhm…”

“You wanna start now?”

“Yup. Let’s get started big guy.” I winked at him.

He looked at me for a moment and I could see that he was going through his mind and thinking what we could do first. I was eager to see it and to live it. I appreciate him being opened and honest about this. I would never pass up an opportunity to be dominated by this guy, this guy that I…I fucking worship. It did make me sad that he had relationships where they would belittle him and leave him because of this, and because he’s into this freaky stuff. I don’t envy them at all. I win. He’s mine, they had their chance and they let him slip away. If he didn’t find it with them, he was gonna keep on looking until he finds what he wants. I’d never discourage a man for his sexual appetite. It’s something that we can do together, if that turns him on, then that turns me on as well. This can only bring us closed together, not apart. He’s showing me his true colors and I’m ready to open up to him completely, I want him to see me worshiping him at all costs. I just know that me, myself, I am not stopping at chocking and neck pulling, no sir, no, no thank you. Give it to me all. Show me what you got.

Besides, like I’ve always said, he’s as sick as me.

Armie let go of my face and stood up.

“Undress, lie on the bed. I’ll be there in a minute.”

And he disappeared into the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot more to come! Three days people, there's more coming soon!  
> P.S I had to look up TBTH to see what rooms look like, they're so pretty.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	39. Twisted games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie's and Timmy's night continues, they're trying something new together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves!! The kink continues, so happy you're all loving this stage of the story!! Here's today's chapter, i hope you'll like it, enjoy it! Please stay safe and take care of yourselves.  
> P.S. Again, what you're about to read is pure fiction and speculation (or not hehe), i hope i did them justice because i know nothing about these things but i am trying to do the research for this story.  
> As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️

I did as I was told, feeling myself nervous for the first time, for real since I’ve been with him. I figured this is the real feeling of being nervous when you’re about to sleep with someone, everything else was literally nothing. Not only was I nervous but I was scared a bit, I’ve been feeling scared ever since he told me he booked us a room for three day and that we won’t be leaving the hotel room at all. I slowly took my clothes of and gently placed them over his jacket that was already on the chair near the bed. I’m naked again. Should I stand, sit, lie down? He said to lie down, right. My mind is racing, I’m forgetting quickly. Should I start touching myself? I was hard, I’ve been feeling myself rise ever since he began talking about nasty things he likes doing in bed. If I’m scared, I doubt my mind was, other way around and I wouldn’t be having a boner. I heard Armie move and breathe in the bathroom. I heard a zipper and him fiddling with some things. I decided to lie down, my head on the pillows, one hand underneath my head and the other one already cupping my cock with my right hand where my bracelet was hanging from, stroking myself brutally slow, that should warm me up a bit. I trusted him to think about everything, if he’s serious about going this deep with me, I trust him that everything is going to be okay. I’m both scared and excited at the same time. More scared. No, more excited. I don’t know. But whatever it is, my cock seemed to like it.

Armie walked out of the bathroom couple of minutes later. He took his sweater off, he had a black shirt underneath it, he took his shoes and his socks off, he was in his jeans. He smiled at me. I smiled back, stroking slowly. He saw that and I can honestly say that he was either proud or glad that I obeyed him and that I was trying to keep my hard on from the very start without him telling me, which was logical. You need to be horny and turned on if you wanted to do go deep.

He turned the lights off. The main light and the only one left was coming from the bedside lamp, the one closer to him, the other one was already turned off. The atmosphere changed so quickly, it was calming and intense, it called for sex.

The first thing he did once he came out was set the music. I recognized the song as soon as he played it; Night Panda - Twisted Games, on repeat. He lowered the sound but it was extremely intense now having that song in the background.

He was carrying one towel and a new bottle of lube and a silky bag. He was prepared for everything. I am sure that his routine changed, going from a woman to a man. There were new things he needed to know and do his research on. I have no doubt in my mind that he did the research. But what’s inside the silky bag?

Armie climbed on the bed and closer to me, straddling my hips, sitting back on my thighs, not daring to sit all the way down, too scared to crush me. I stopped touching myself and kept that had on my tummy. Armie caressed my left cheek and ran his thumb across my lower lip. I looked up at him when he did it.

I don’t know this man. He’s a stranger to me now. I feel like every time there is something new I discover about him, he goes back to being the random jerk that cut me off in the bakery on a Monday morning. But I want to get to know him. His appearance and his attitude, his face and his eyes…everything changed from when I saw him the last time, and that was before he went to the bathroom to take his clothes off and bring out some things. But I do want to know this man, I want to know what he likes, I want to know the real him. In bed, you’re the perfect man and I’m everything you want me to be.

“What are you gonna do to me?’ I asked him with his thumb still on my lip, his lips were parted, he loves my lips, he loves touching them, kissing them and he loves having those lips around his cock.

“I’m gonna kill you…” He said and smirked.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. He removed his thumb from my lips.

“Oh, good, phew…I thought it was something bad.”

We chuckled together. I can feel that he was nervous as well, which was totally understandable. It’s a first time for the both of us. Let’s see who’s gonna be more nervous; the guy controlling the situation, having all the responsibility on his hand and actually being dominant over someone so young and fragile, or, a young guy that has never done this before but was excited, curious and scared at the same time.

“How are you feeling? And be honest.” He said and ran his hand down my chest, flicking at my nipples with his index finger, all along using only one hand.

“Honestly…I’m a little bit scared.” I bit my lips and when I did, I realized it was trembling.

 _“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_ The song was perfect for his occasion.

“You can tell me to stop at any time.” Armie said and took my right hand, that was on my tummy, into his and intertwined our fingers. He was sending me a message that we’re in this together.

It calmed me down by a little. But the thing was…I didn’t want to stop, we haven’t even started and I’d be damned if I don’t make it to the end. I need to know what he likes and I need to know if I like it as well.

“In fact…we need a safe word.” He said.

“A safe word?” I frowned.

“Yes. We pick up a random word and when you or I wish to stop something we’re doing, or we don’t like it, or is a bit too much, you or I say it out loud and we stop everything. Immediately.”

“Hm…” I began thinking deeply, looking around the room.

He was looking at me the entire time I’ve been coming up with our safe word.

“Anything...” I asked looking at him.

“Yeah…”

My eyes were wandering across the room. Think, think, think…I can’t say anything we might use during sex. It will only confuse us.

“How about…Tokyo? The capital of Japan.” I said.

Armie had a very heartwarming smile on his face. Is it stupid?

“I know…that’s a great idea. Tokyo it is then, babe.” He said and bent down to kiss me, letting go of my hand to cup my face.

I kissed him back and as I was doing so, touching his cheek with my right hand, he removed it from his skin and put it around my cock. I got the message, we’re staring, I need to touch myself, I need to get hard.

Armie’s lips moved from mine to my jaw and he dug in with his teeth in my neck. My lips trembled when he was biting the skin.

“Mark me…please…” I breathed out.

“Later.” He muttered against my wet skin.

He’s a rude man!

When he was done with my neck, digging through my veins and arteries underneath my skin, he moved lower to my nipples and then my stomach. I was still touching myself, tangling with the bracelet, watching his every move. He’s so gentle and sweet, this is the man I love.

Armie then came back up and kissed me again, he’s kissing me so deeply, the kiss is so wet and hot. He removes my right hand from my cock and wraps it around the back of his neck. I can do it better, I wrap both of my arms around his neck and both of my legs around his waist, I can feel how hard he really is. I’m just a little guy hanging from the big guy. I love it when there’s a significant size difference and we’re showing it, like right now. He’s dressed up, on the bed on his knees, and I’m naked, a nervous wreck and hanging from his body like a koala bear.

Armie giggles into the kiss when he realized that my body isn’t even touching the bed, I’m flying!

“My little koala bear!” He breathed out and we both chuckled.

He reads minds!

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

He goes backwards a bit until he was off the big bed and standing next to it with me still hanging from his body and breathing deeply into his ear. Are we gonna do it standing up?

He bents down and slowly lets me know it’s okay to let go. When I did, I realized that my legs would be hanging from the bed which is probably where and how he wants me, I raised then in knees anyway. Armie looks at me from above and touches my knees, I have both of my arms underneath my head. We’re smiling at each other. Armie took the towel he brought and put it underneath my butt, I raise my hips only by a little. We’re gonna use lube and we need to be careful as to not dirty the sheets so much. Armie looks like he knows what he’s doing, that’s why I trust him. The determination and lust were screaming from his eyes. And I know, without a doubt in my mind that Armie would never, ever hurt me on purpose, or without my permission.

Armie kneeled in front of the bed, the bed was up to his chest but he had a full display of my cock and my hole and all the permission in the world to use them.

“We’ll start at something basic…” He said as he was caressing my thighs with his hands on my sides.

And then he finally reached for the silky bag and untied it. I’m so nervous. What is it inside?

I smiled widely when Armie shook the bag and a gorgeous silver butt plug popped out. Armie put it on my stomach and I took it into my hand. I’ve seen them before, never used them, always wanted to though, and now it was my chance. It wasn’t too big or too small, I think it was just right for me. When the fuck did he get the time to go to the sex shop and buy a butt plug? Seriously. This guy never fails to amaze me. He says this is the basic, maybe basic for me as a first timer in his new world but I’m sure I can take t. I get now the towel and the new bottle of lube and why he put me down at the end of the bed and why I need to touch myself from time to time. I also knew why I was naked and he was dressed. He’s gotta put it in me and while I’m opening on my own, he’s gonna get naked as well and fuck me.

“You know what this is?” He asked me, but he already knew the answer to it since I didn’t frown or look confused.

“Yeah…it’s so pretty…” I said.

He chuckled.

“You ever used one before?” He asked, still caressing my skin.

I shook my head.

It was silver, not real, I hope, I don’t know, I can’t tell, a plastic maybe…I’m shit at these things…and it had a green shiny artificial diamond on the bottom.

“I wanted to match your eyes…” He breathed out laughing.

“Jesus Armie, really…”

We were laughing our asses off! We shouldn’t be making funny joked now, this is serious, we needed to be serious. But it’s like that with Armie, even in the hardest times and times where we needed to be the most serious, we were laughing and it was something I adored about our relationship. We knew how to make each other laugh in the oddest ways a man can think off.

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

I extended my hand and gave it to him, he took it from me and my God, it looks so tiny in his huge hands. But, props to the elegancy, it had a nice silky bag that came with it.

“So are you just gonna…put it in me…” I asked him and those words made me rush to start stroking myself again.

“Not so fast. First I have to open you up a bit…” He said and put it back into the silky bag.

“Oh, okay…just tell me what to do…” I breathed out and began mentally preparing myself for what was yet to come.

“Tim…if there are any questions…just let me know, tell me to go faster, slower, tell me to stop...anything. I want both of us to enjoy it.” He said and kissed my inner thighs, so close to where my bracelet was singing on my cock.

“Okay…I’m fine…for now…” I replied and lied back down to touch myself.

Armie sat down on the floor, put my feet on his shoulders, took no time and dived his tongue into my hole.

“Ah…oh…mmm…” I slammed my head back and enjoyed the sensation I was being given from his tongue.

In the beginning, it was just his tongue and he was gonna keep on doing this until I’m fully relaxed, I still need time. I looked down and saw that his eyes were closed and he was enjoying it as well. There was something magical he found in rimming me at this moment, I found It magical also. Just the act itself was such a turn on even without doing anything further. I can’t come now, this was not the part of his plan, I know it. I needed to be turned on enough to relax so that he can put his fingers inside me and later on the beautiful silver thingy that was still sitting inside the bag next to my body. Whatever Armie dd in bed it had to be elegant, well planned and fully under his control; hence the towel and a new bottle of lube. He thought of everything. Why would we use an old, half-filled bottle of lube for this special occasion, when we can always use a new one for new things we were about to discover. It was the first for the both of us. I have never slept with a real man before, he made sure I forget the first one, it was his plan to show me what real sex is, and it’s not the painful awkward firs time. Armie did such a fantastic time that I already began erasing my first time with a dude and somehow, my virginity got back just in time for him to take it from me all over again. And it was the first for him because with me, and I’ll make sure of that, he will go to the end because none of this I will ever consider sick, twisted, disgusting, disturbing and everything else his pasts partners had said.

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

However, what we did, what we did and how we did it, considering that we’re basically defying the logic of human race, this is sick, and twisted, and disgusting and disturbing. The more the merrier. And I didn’t care one bit. If this is sick, and he likes it, and I like it, then we’re sick, both of us, together, let us be sick then. I’ve always said he’s as sick as me. That being said, shall we never forget who suggested phone sex, who made the first move in giving the other a blow job in the car, dry humping, his first time, my first time with him, and with it came chocking, hair pulling, spitting, stuffing fingers into my mouth, rimming, teasing, screaming, the office and the chair fantasy. All of those things came from me. That is sick, and he never said a single word, he just gave me what I wanted, now it’s my turn to give him what he wants. Mutual respect in bed means everything to our relationship.

I’m now fully relaxed and he knows it. I succeeded in it very easily; I had to remind myself how much I love him and worship him, how much I despise boundaries and will do everything in my power to destroy them if they ever decide to show themselves in front of me.

I’m loving his tongue down there so much and he knows it. He hasn’t stopped for minutes; his tongue was breaching my muscles with each passing second.

And then he stopped and I felt like a part of my body has fallen off.

“Tim…” He breathed out.

I looked down. His lips were red and his eyes were tearing up. I stopped stroking myself and put both of my arms underneath my head so I could have a better look at him.

“I have to open you up. You know what to do.” He said and reached for the bottle of lube next to my head. I let my legs hang on the edge of the bed as I followed his moves with my eyes. He opened it there, put the foil away and slicked up his entire right palm.

I nodded looking at him and began touching myself again. I know what to do; breathe and keep my hard on.

“Good boy.” He breathed out.

Wonder how much his own words made him hard.

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

He kneeled again and I put my feet back on his shoulders.

Armie massaged my hole with his thumb in circles, I felt like squeezing his hand down there. And he pushed the thumb right inside, he doesn’t even give me the time to adjust.

“Ah! Fuck, oh…”

“Breathe, breathe…”

He pulls it out but pushes his index finger instead, this one is thinner than the thumb but it still ached a bit. Breathe, breathe, breathe. I can’t stop breathing or touching myself, I need to stay turned on. Stay turned on. Come on, Armie’s fingering you, you said you can get off only on his fingers, now’s your chance, just don’t take it too far. He adds the second finger and then a third one. I’m silent the entire time. I’m not breathing, I know that, I’m tightening my stomach muscles. And then he adds the fourth one and I feel like I’m gonna die. That’s when he stops and gives me the time to adjust, only then. I slowly open my eyes and wipe my tears off with my other hand. I look down to see Armie’s piercing dark blue eyes staring at me, lips parted, nothing’s coming out, he’s scares as well. Minutes past and nothing is changing.

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

I slam my head back onto the bed. I slow down the stroking and only then do I feel like I can breathe normally again. We both know it doesn’t take much to open me now, I’ve been opened plenty of times before but taking in four fingers is not a joke.

The game and the rules had changed, he doesn’t ask for my permission to move the fingers, he just does it, slowly pulling them out and slowly putting them back in, twisting them, trying to spread them inside me. I can at least comfort myself knowing that the butt plug is smaller than his four fingers combined inside me. I closed my eyes and let tears cover them. I’m breathing deeply and slowly, still stroking myself in the rhythm of his moves.

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

I can hear him exhale as well, he’s relieved. It’s not the first time he’s opening me up with so many fingers, but it is the first time he’s done it with four.

Minutes past and I feel better, I can take it now easier than I could ten minutes ago.

“Ready?” He breathed out, he was feeling overwhelmed as well. How could he not be, this was his dream, to be sexually fulfilled.

I love him and I’m gonna let him do with me whatever he wants, I trust him completely. The others never loved him enough and for who he really was to let him go all the way into his sexual fantasy.

I can only nod as I wipe my tears off. I don’t know if I’m ready but I am dying to get familiar with the feeling of having someone dominate over you in his full power.

He took it out of the silky bag again and immediately squeezed a big amount of lube on it, all over it, it was dripping on the towel between my legs. I can’t believe I’m about to have his up my ass. I’m scared now, definitely.

“Breathe, just breathe…it will only hurt a little but I promise you, you’ll feel better afterwards.” He said and kissed my foot.

I swallowed and nodded again. I took a deep breath and nodded at him to go.

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

Armie held it in one hand and pushed inside one finger just to loosen me up a bit. When he pulled the fingers outside, he immediately replaced it with the plug. I felt the plastic lubed-up thing at my entrance. It didn’t have a pointy end, I was scared that part would hurt me or sting me but he breached the first ring of muscles very easily. I looked down at what was he doing, he looked focused and concentrated and when he saw me look at him, he smiled. He kept pushing the plug inside and I was waiting for the big turn to make its appearance or sting me, but that one never came. I was breathing deeply the entire time, stroking myself slowly, looking down at him, taking it like a champ.

It felt beyond weird and strange to have a foreign object being shoved up your ass. It didn’t seem normal, and yet, who’s normal here?

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

“You okay?” He asked and kissed my calf. His voice was trembling.

“Actually…yeah…keep going…” I breathed out and smiled.

“You sure?” He raised his eyebrows.

I slammed my head back and closed my eyes. Breathing deeply, non-stop.

“Absolutely. I’m not…I don’t feel any…discomfort.”

“Oh, perfect. You’re such a good boy…” He kissed my thighs again.

Few seconds later…I felt both of his hands on my thighs. I opened my eyes. Both of his hands are free now.

“That’s it babe…” He said.

I looked down at him and let go of my cock.

“What?” I frowned, surprised there wasn’t a bigger mess.

“It’s in…” He chuckled.

“Really? That’s it? I thought it would hurt…more…”

“Nope. I lubed it up enough. And frankly, fingers did hurt more, right?” He stood up and helped me get up but I didn’t want to sit yet.

“Yeah…”

I rubbed my eyes but I wasn’t ready to sit quite yet, I was still on my elbows. Breathe normally, my erection was still stuck flat on my stomach.

I was really expecting a mess and a pain festival. Afterall, a foreign plastic object was being put inside me…I can’t be the only one who was surprised that it didn’t hurt at all. Exactly! It didn’t hurt at ll. His fingers almost tore me apart but this…it was a bit uncomfortable, I’ll admit that, and I was ready to cry and scream, but nothing. And now I have a green diamond butt plug inside me. I felt it down there, it closed my hole, like I was sitting on a metal stick or…on a cock that had 10 condoms over it. Weird comparison but yeah…I think it took him two minutes to put it in me. And now I’m stretching and stretching.

“Now…” Armie’s deep voice shook me from my head.

And when I looked up to see him, he threw my clothes at my face.

“Get up. Get dressed. We’re going to dinner.” He said.

I frowned. What?

“What? Armie?”

“You heard me. Put your clothes back on and let’s eat.” He said and began putting his shoes on. Then he moved to the bathroom and got his sweater out.

“I can’t go out like this…” I said, still not moving.

“What do you think was the purpose of putting a plug inside you if not to tease you a little.”

“You’re a cruel man, Armie Hammer!” I screamed at his face, not being able to contain my smile.

“And you like it.” He winked at me and offered me his hands.

I stood up and hissed, he saw that and smirked at me. My cock was sprung free between us. His was hardening in his jeans. My God, I had such a vile need to touch him through the jeans. I bit my lip looking at it. Armie’s index finger raised my head to look up at him. He kissed me and whispered that he’s proud of me for taking it so bravely.

“Turn around.”

I obeyed.

Armie bent down and spread my cheeks to look at it. I felt the lube sliding down my thighs. My God, what a sick and twisted man, I love him so much. I hissed when he spread my butt cheeks to look at it.

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

“Perfect.” He muttered and kissed both of my butt cheeks.

I blushed.

“How does it feel?” He asked me from behind.

“Good…weird…I don’t know…good…very good.” I stuttered.

He began collecting things we left on the bed while I still stood naked, not knowing where to start with the dressing.

“And what happens after?” I asked him.

“After what?”

“After dinner…”

He came up behind me and pressed his hard cock against my butt. I moaned when I felt him. Please, just let me touch him.

“We come back here…and I fuck you so hard until your nose starts to bleed.” He breathed out into my ear and bit it.

My nose almost began bleeding right there on the spot. Almost.

_“Do you wanna come play in my twisted games?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Armie, what are you doing to your boy?  
> Who's ever watched the TV show "Elite" knows the song at the very end of the 3rd season.😉  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	40. Your head is empty, I wanna make it full

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their night continues; Armie has some plans for his night with Tim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening babes!! We've under a lockdown since yesterday from 1 pm, and it's gonna last until 5 am tomorrow morning. The numbers are just rising and it's not good, not at all. All we can do is stay where we are and keep ourselves and our loved ones conscious and safe. Please take care!🙏  
> Anyway, to bless your Sunday, here's today's chapter. This is what you've been waiting for, i hope i did it justice. Hope you'll like, enjoy it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️  
> Again, only fiction and speculation blah-blah-blah...we've seen you guys (T and A) wearing backless bibs, harnesses, corsets and shibari ropes and liking stuff on twitter...maybe it's not so far from the fiction after all, huh😏

Thankfully, the elevator was empty ad stayed empty the entire time we went from the fifth floor to the lobby. As soon as we walked inside, I pushed him against the mirror behind him and jumped into making out with him.

“I can’t wait for you to fuck me, ah...” I moaned against his lips, rubbing against him.

Armie only gasped and kissed me back deeply, pulling my hips towards his.

“This thing…inside me…is making me do all kinds of nasty things…” I breathed out again and pushed my tongue inside his mouth, still rubbing against him.

“Save that for later…”

The fact that I had a foreign object that this man I was currently making out with stuck it inside me only made me feel more turned on. Fuck dinner! I want him right now.

Before we left the room he saw me make funny moves and I walked with my legs spread, too uncomfortable of sticking them together, afraid I’d feel the plug sting me.

“You can walk normally, it doesn’t affect you in that way...” He said and chuckled.

I did what he told me and I began walking normally. It was weird, but felt weird, I have something inside my butt.

The elevator door opened and I left first, leaving him in shock with a messy hair he just combed back in the room. We just made out for five floors. If he was trying to get his boner down, it won’t do it. I was intentionally rubbing myself against him in the elevator. But we had to at least try and hide them.

I intentionally walked in front of him. I wanted Armie to stare at me from behind, and stare at my butt and remember what he did to me and how did the green diamond shine into his face when he put it in. I’m the one teasing him, I have all every right in the world.

Once we got down to the lobby, we had to walk by the reception desk where the lady sighed us in only an hour ago. We smiled politely and she smiled back and went straight through the door where she showed us earlier where the restaurant was. It was half full, giving the fact that it was almost New Year and a lot of tourists would check in to spend their New Year in New York. I don’t know when he booked us this room but it couldn’t have been the day he told me, there would be no room left to book so close to the end of the year. It must’ve been a month earlier, three weeks top. Whenever he did it, I am glad he did it anyway, some alone time really could mean a lot to us. It was getting crowded back at my place. A hotel room sounds sexier when we’re exploring new things.

We chose one table with two seats and sat down. Of course, I was scared to sit down and he saw that. Eventually when I did, slowly, I winced and jumped a little but there was nothing there to feel, it was like the plug was invisible, yet I felt there was something inside me.

Throughout the entire dinner, I winced and squirmed a few times and Armie’s smirk never left his face whenever I did it. He was the only one in that restaurant who knew what was really going one. The others may not have even noticed me, some might think we’re just friends, and some would think that we had some brutal sex and that the huge man tore the smaller man apart. Oh I wish…

I didn’t feel like drinking alcohol because that would sort of destroy the effect, I’d rather be drunk of euphoria and lust and desire and him. He didn’t order alcohol either, just some mineral water and a soda for me.

I’d moan from time to time throughout the entire evening. Every time he’d hear me, he’d raise his eyebrows or wink at me. What a fucking tease!

“Eat lightly, you’ll see what I mean.” He said as I was looking over the menu.

And lightly I went. And so did he. We’re in this together. Just because he’s the one in charge in the room upstairs, I know he won’t forbid me to eat or drink anything I wasn’t allowed to. To eat lightly meant that I won’t go sick later on and stop whatever he had in mind and rush to throw up and ruin the whole night. It would’ve been weird if I ordered some bland food and bland drinks and he ordered something opposite, only to show who’s the boss here. No, we both agreed to do it together, eat, drink and explore together.

“How are you feeling?”

Armie asked me half way through dinner. By that point we’re been talking non-stop, not acting anything different than when I didn’t have a plastic object in my body that was put there by his hand.

“Weird.” I gasped.

“How weird?”

“Like I…I don’t know…sealed up…” When I said this Armie choked on his mineral water.

“Jesus, Tim…”

I laughed with him.

“But good…it’s giving me pleasure now…here and now…” I added with a smile.

He seemed pretty pleased with himself.

“How much longer are we gonna be here?” I asked him already hating the fact that we left and didn’t continue our session upstairs.

“Not much longer. I say we skip the dessert, what do you think?” He said and leaned over to me on his elbows.

“Oh, definitely.” I Breathed out.

“Good. If you want, you can still order some, I won’t forbid it. I’m just telling you to eat lightly and slowly so you don’t…you know…vomit later on.” He said and smiled.

“Yeah, I got that. I’m not hungry anyway. I can’t wait to go upstairs.”

“Five minutes, okay?”

I nodded quickly.

And five minutes later, Armie asked for the check and we left. The stupid elevator couldn’t have gotten down sooner. Again, I walked in front of him, and while we were waiting for the elevator, I “accidentally” rubbed myself against him, and he had to stop me in one place as he was inhaling and exhaling deeply into my hair. When the doors opened, there were two people in it. They emptied it when they got to their destination. On the third floor, another person walked in and followed us until we all got to the fifth floor.

He opened the doors to our room, turned all the lights on and I followed him. Armie set the atmosphere again as soon as we walked in. I was breathing faster, scared and nervous, excited and in a hurry. I needed to see what is he gonna do to me.

“What now?” I asked him once we were in and close to the bed.

“Someone’s eager tonight…” He muttered as he came closer to me and hugged me, pressing me to him.

“I’m just excited to see what you got.” I whispered against his neck.

“Okay…” He said and we parted.

This is it I guess…

“Take your clothes off and sit on the bed. I’ll be there in a second.” He muttered and walked into the bathroom again.

“Yes, Armie.”

I undressed, one piece at a time, folding them on the chair where they were earlier put. I sat on the bed, like he told me to, squirming again, and I could hear him fiddle with yet another zipper in the bathroom.

He walked out in a shirt, no socks, still had his jeans on. He put some things on the bed next to me but I couldn’t dare to look at them, I’d let my imagination take place when he starts to use those things on me. God, let it not hurt, please.

He put some music one. This time, he played Boom by iBenji. A sex song. I’m not gonna live to see tomorrow.

Armie stood in front of me, I looked up, he smiled at me. This is what he wants, give him what he wants, don’t chase him away.

Armie lightly pressed his lips to my forehead and took something off the bed.

In front of me, in his hands, there was a silky, two strings twisted red rope, it wasn’t long but It was pretty. What’s with me and pretty sex toys tonight?

“Give me your hands.” He said.

_Boom._

I obeyed immediately. He pushed them together and began tying my wrists, not covering the silver bracelet I was wearing. I watch him do it, it’s not the knot I would ever know how to do. It goes over and under and under and over and across and under again and over and across…I lost track of the knot that was used to tie my wrists together. He tied a bow in the end.

“Good?” He asked when he finished.

I nodded, not looking at him. I was too scared to look up. But I should’ve, he’s not my master and I’m not his submissive toy. We’re just exploring. I looked up anyway but maybe too late.

“Get on your knees.” He said, his voice was rough and determined.

I made a face when I got off the bed.

Armie’s legs were only few inches away from my face and I could see him throbbing in his jeans. I took a quick look on myself and realized that I was harder now than I was almost two hours ago when he was putting a butt plug inside me.

_Boom._

Armie bent down and got one more thing off the bed.

A blind fold.

He gently tied it around my eyes, gently, watching as to not tug my hair. Now he’s sweet but I know some hair pulling is coming our way. And just like that, I lost two of my senses within a minute apart; my touch and my sight. I can only rely on my hearing, smelling and tasting.

“Good?” He asked.

I nodded, and then answered, “Yes”. Nodding is not enough.

I love that he was checking up on me every time he’d put something in me or on me. I am so nervous, I’m trembling with my whole body.

“You have no fucking idea how beautiful you look, Tim.” He muttered, stroking my hair.

I smiled, lips still trembling. But Armie was gone. He walked pass me and then came back few seconds later. I heard a click and moved my head towards to the sound. He was taking a picture of me with the gift that I got him. I smiled again. I was tied up, blind and hard; he’s got everything on that picture.

“Beautiful…”

Armie muttered and put the camera away.

“Now…” I heard him say it above me.

He heard him taking his shirt off, I know that, I also heard when the shirt hit the floor. The sound that followed that one was the zipper and his belt. I parted my lips and licked them. Fucking finally! I’ve been waiting to suck him off ever since we got here. This is my dessert. I am so hungry. Feed me Armie!

_Boom._

“Open your mouth, babe.”

I bit my lip when he said this and opened wide, that’s the only way to take him in fully. As soon as I opened my mouth, he stuffed his cock inside it. He was hard, he didn’t need any more hardening but I just know that seeing me tight up, with a blind fold at his mercy made him want to take as much fun as he could from this.

“Oh, Tim…” He moaned my name when I continued on sucking his head off. He was caressing my hair and slowly moving his hips into my mouth. I can’t see shit but I love to imagine.

I’m diving in with my head as much as I can since I have no idea how far I’ve dived in. At one point I raised my tied-up hands to hold him in one spot but Armie slapped them.

“Hands down.” His voice was harsh, it made me twitch.

_Boom._

Fuck, this is sick and I’m loving it apparently.

I continue to suck him off with what I had. He seemed bigger now that I couldn’t see him and touch him. Just diving back and forth made me weak, and it made him weak because I knew what I was doing and I was so good at it, none of us could deny that fact. Armie loves having his big cock sucked and I love doing the sucking, and I was so good at it.

He’d moan from time to time, pushing himself down my throat, sometimes I’d think I was very close to throwing up, but he loved the sounds I was making. It made me drool and it made my eyes water and my nose. He’d hold my head in one place and slam his cock down my throat many times in a row, I arched my entre back. He’d also hold my head tightly with both of his hands and he’d push it down and wait for few seconds while I stopped breathing and thinking, and he was grunting my name out with each passing moment.

_Boom._

He’d pull out and I’d have my saliva smeared all over my lips and my chin. I looked vile, helpless.

“Stick out your tongue.” He breathed out above me.

I obeyed.

Armie slapped his cock against my tongue for couple of seconds, breathing out how good it felt and how beautiful I looked. I believed him. Then he would just let me suck him off slowly.

“Lick it.” He ordered.

And I obeyed.

_Boom._

Armie held my head in one place and guided my lips where the base of his cock was. I kissed it, from the root to the head and then I’d lick it, couple of times. He’d then tell me to stick my tongue out again, and later on he’d let me suck him off like I did in the beginning. My jaw ached and my tears were soaking up the blind fold.

“Okay, stop…stand up.” I stopped and waited a second to breathe normal again and then I stood up. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I can feel him in front of me. He was taking the rest of his jeans off, breathing heavily just few inches away from me. Now we’re both naked. I imagined he was touching himself as he was looking at me like this. But instead he kissed me, deeply, sucking everything I had in my mouth back into his. I wanted to touch him but I didn’t want him to react the way that he did earlier. I’d only touch whatever he tells me to touch.

“Now…let’s get you into bed.” He said and picked me up like a bride.

I giggled and threw my head back as he was carrying me to finally lie down.

As soon as he put me down, he turned me over on my stomach and my head lied on the big, puffy pillow. My hands were underneath me and he raised my butt in the air again. I moaned when I realized how close we are to trying something new.

_Boom._

I move my head to the side and exhale deeply. I wish I could see him and see what he’s doing. I know he’s naked, I know he’s walking around the room, and I know how hard he is, he got stone hard in my mouth.

I felt the bed damp behind me and I knew he was looking at my butt. I tried raising it more upwards for him to have a better look, but he controlled my body for me.

“Beautiful…” He breathed out and kissed both of my butt cheeks and bit one.

“Ouch! Armie!” I giggled.

“Quiet.”

I heard the bottle opening, I heard the liquid pouring and I heard his cock being smeared in the lube, it made such an erotic sound that I felt myself twitch the same moment.

_Boom._

Oh how I wish I could see him or do that for him. That sounds turns me on so fucking much, I turned my head to the other side to hear better, he was really lubing himself up pretty good. Soon, he stopped and I knew this is it. I breathed out and slammed by head back onto the pillow.

“You ready? I’m taking the plug out.” He asked, caressing my butt cheeks.

“Yes…” I gasped.

Few seconds later I felt an even more pressure when he was pulling it out. It didn’t hurt, it was uncomfortable, weird and strange, I felt like someone was taking a part of me out by force.

“Ah…” I moaned loudly and bit the pillow.

And just like that, it was out. It was bathing inside my body with my juices and fluids for two hours now. I felt a rush of wind when he took it out and gasped out loud. What made me squirm and scream of over sensation was when he blew into my now very, very wide and opened hole. Fuck, this is beyond sick, I love it. I wish I could see the look on his face when he pulled it out and when he saw how opened I was.

“Fuck Tim! Oh, babe…” I breathed and I felt one hand leave my body, and then, that sound appeared again. It made him so fucking hard he had to touch himself to express just how much.

“How does it look?” I breathed out, smiling.

“Perfect.”

I lost him for a while but found him when he stuffed his tongue into my hole once again.

“Armie!” I screamed out his name, kicking my legs on the bed, pulling the sheets with my tied-up hands, biting the pillow case.

“Ssshhh…” He whispered when he pulled his tongue out. I was sobbing his name out loud. It felt so good. The pleasure, the sensation, the exploring of the unknown.

He did it again and again, and then stopped. I heard him touch himself, I felt the need, such a strong will, to do the same but I won’t do anything until he says so.

“Ready?” I heard him mutter and smile.

“Mhm…oh…”

_Boom._

I was opened for maybe almost a minute and the next thing I felt was his huge cock penetrating me.

“Oh fuck! Armie! Fuck!” I screamed out again, feeling the pillow wetting itself from my tears.

“Fuck…feels so good!”

“Oh my God…so good!”

It didn’t feel like I was being breached, no, he went directly in me and pushed all the way inside. Now I was feeling stuffed for real. His cock was longer than the plug but the thingy really helped, we must use this all the time.

“Fuck!”

Armie didn’t take much time before he started moving immediately, and not slow, but fast instead, holding my hips on one spot as he was pounding inside me brutally fast and hard. That plug really helped us with opening me up. We should do this all the time. It felt so good, maybe even better than the old-fashioned way of opening a man up for anal sex.

_Boom._

“A-a-a-a-rmi-i-i-i-e-ah, ah, ah ah…” he was moving so fast I began stuttering his name.

I was now sprung across this beautiful big hotel room bed with Armie fucking me from behind with a blind fold on and my hands tied up. The fact that I couldn’t see him, touch him or even touch myself made it all the more difficult but I let everything go to imagination because that was the point. He kept on pushing inside me, trying to go any deeper. Oh Amie, I wish I was built deeper for you to dive in more. Eventually, my knees gave out because of the sensation and he took an amazing advantage and collapsed on top of me with his head next to my face. I can hear him on the other side so I turned my head towards where his moans and grunts were coming from. The only part of his body that was moving was the lower one and he was slamming more and more inside me.

_Boom._

I wet the blind fold, I wet the pillow with my tears and when he embraced my neck with his arm and kissed me, I wet his face as well. There were no more cute and sweet little sex kisses, no, this was a full blown make out session with tongue, teeth and a lot of saliva. When he stopped kissing me he tightened his arm around my neck and for a second I was scared I’d pass out due to lack of oxygen. He wouldn’t let me, I trust him to know when and how much to choke me so I don’t suffocate or pass out. Wouldn’t it be fun to pass out during sex? I’d like to try it. That thought made me smile.

He removed himself from me and when he did, he tugged my hair backwards to which I whimpered loudly. Armie then adjusted his hand in my hair and slammed my head back onto the pillow, I fell flat on my face, I can’t breathe, my legs are numb, I can’t see him, I can’t touch him, I can’t touch anything, except for the sheets underneath me. I have never felt more alive, loved or appreciated than In that moment. He collapsed once again and choked me again with his arm. Then he sat up and tugged my hair to the side, it made me go back to me kneeling with my butt in the air and with my hands still not working. By that point he hasn’t stopped moving inside me at all, he slowed down but he was still deep inside me and wishing to go deeper. I was so exhausted, my knees kept on giving out but Armie held my hips in one place until I felt him leak inside me, I must’ve been leaking for a few minutes by now.

“Armie!” I maoned his name into the wet pillow.

I gave myself the permission even though no one approved it and caught him when he simply stayed inside me, I squeezed my hole around him again and he collapsed on top of me. I was out of breath but smirking at myself. Did not see that one coming.

_Boom._

“Fuuuck…Tiiimmm…” He grunted against my ear.

I smirked to myself again so that he can see me. A little tease.

Armie continued moving inside me on top of my lifeless body, he grabbed my hair and turned my head to face him. I can’t see shit.

“You’re mine!” He grunted against my ear and bit it.

My mind is fading away too quickly for me to react.

“You’re mine, Tim!” He grunted through his teeth.

“I’m yours! I’m yours!” I am his.

“You’re mine! Don’t you ever forget that!”

And with that, he slammed our lips together and we were biting each other’s lips and pulling them. I tasted blood on my lips, I don’t know whose; his or mine, it did not matter. I licked it and swallowed it.

Armie took the last few deep and strong thrusts and then he pulled out.

I was left to lie there, opened and wet, hard and blind, moaning only his name, over and over again.

“Armie…Armie…Armie…Armie…” It was the only word I knew at that moment. He fucked me so hard, he wiped my mind clean. The only word I knew and the only word I had left in me. My nose didn’t bleed, but my lip, maybe…it did. But I felt brainless and brain damaged, too exhausted and overwhelmed to even form a sentence without his name. This is how he owns me.

I stopped dead in my tracks, not knowing what was gonna happen.

I felt his hands on my hips and he turned me around on my back and straddled my chest. Armie put his hand around my neck and squeezed it tightly, I moaned when he did it. Just by the way of his breathing, I knew he was about to come and was now stroking himself.

“Open your mouth babe. Stick out your tongue.” He grunted and was stuttering from pulling his cock so hard.

I did as I was told and only maybe a minute later, I felt Armie’s semen splashing all over my face. I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out as much as possible to catch everything.

I smiled widely and licked my lips taking in his cum. I’m still smiling.

I heard him hyperventilating when he was done and then he bent down to kiss me. I can still taste blood and his semen. Perfection. So sick!

Armie removed himself from me and I heard him and felt the bed damp that he moved between my legs again. Armie quickly grabbed my cock and began stroking me all along fingering my hole with the other hand.

“Fuck! Armie! Please! Fuck…so good!” I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore, just following my instincts.

_Boom._

I brought my hands, that were still tied up, to my face and bit onto the rope to not cry out how much sensitive I was and under how much influence of the adrenaline my body just went through.

“Oh…fuck…mmm…Armie…ah…” I breathed out and moaned loudly.

“Come on, babe…you can do it. Come for me. You were so good! Such a good boy!”

He kept repeating this again and again and again. I'm arching my back off the mattress, pushing my pelvis into his hand, my God it felt so fucking good, i couldn't believe all of this was happening to me, I'm so lucky! 

“You’re such a good boy, my perfect little boy! Come on, come for me, babe!”

The old Armie’s back. The beast was going back into the cage, slowly but certainly.

Maybe two or three minutes after he came, I chased after my own orgasm and came all over my stomach and my tied up hands.

Armie laughed out loud with relief and true happiness.

He took his time with untying my wrists and removing my blind fold. A rush of light floated the room and my eyes, I had to cover up my face until I get use to the light all around me.

I blinked a couple of times and rubbed my eyes. Armie was still sitting between my exhausted legs. He had a beautiful and wide smile on his sweaty face. He was red, his hair was a mess and I noticed a small red spot on his lips. I guess I was the one who cut him with my teeth. It was his blood I had in my system now.

My chin was still covered in his semen and I ran my finger through it and licked what was left, looking at him the entire time. I licked my lips also. Cleaning myself in front of him…I never felt sexier. Silence played its part among us.

Armie rushed to lie down next to me and he took me into his arms. As soon as I felt his hot body against mine and his scent so close to my nose, I felt so relived and free and happy. I was, officially, the first person In Armie’s life that made it to the end and succeeded in fulfilling his sexual desires. I hugged him back and kissed his neck couple of times.

“Thank you, Tim…you were so fucking perfect. Thank you…” Armie whispered against my temple and put his lips on my head to show just how much grateful he really was, how much he really loves me, respects me and worships me. It felt like heaven. I was inside a tight embrace of the man that opened up to me and showed me real love and real sex.

I nodded once again with a smile and passed out even before Armie removed his lips from my sweaty hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom by iBenji is a literal sex song, the lyrics are just...everything. Armie tweeted this song back in September of last year, just around the time of the Capri PR fiasco. It was so good of him to tweet a sex song all of a sudden.🔥  
> The title of the chapter is from that song.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	41. Restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim and Armie talk early in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! Loveeeed your reaction on the previous chapter, there is more to come tho. Today's a simple chapter, some talking and all that stuff. Anyway, you'll see it for yourselves. I hope you'll like it, enjoy it, and please be safe and take care! And as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️

For some reason, Armie was very restless that night. I’d think he’d be the one sleeping better after succeeding in getting what his sexual desires craved. But no. He was wide awake. Or, he couldn’t sleep because he was so overwhelmed and happy and under the influence of adrenaline of finally finding the person that gave him what no one else ever did.

He didn’t notice me being awake because I never was. My body, even though I was still sleeping on my stomach like he left me, was very heavy, even to me. My eyes were heavy, my head felt like it weights a tone and my skin was glued to the sheets, probably because I still had my cum stuck to my stomach. His semen was still around my mouth, on my chin and on my tongue, I know his taste. I didn’t find the energy to wake up and get up and let him know I’m still here and join him at whatever he was doing.

What woke me up was him. Armie was walking all over the place. I heard him turning on the lights in the bathroom and washing something for quite a long, long time. Maybe it was the butt plug, that needed to be disinfected good, I assume. Then he walked pass the bed and sat on the end of it, putting his boxers back on. It was ending of December and it was beyond hot in the room. They heat it up well, and so did we. Maybe because I was covered with one sheet and one blanket, tucked from my toes to my throat. I fell asleep naked in his arms and he took care of the rest for me; he tucked me in nicely. Then I heard him tapping something on his phone. Armie was never the type to shut his phone off, not even in the middle of the night while I’m asleep. I opened my eye to take a glimpse of him, his massive back was turned to me. My God, he’s huge. Someone needs to congratulate me on how successful I’m being in taking him inside my body. There was only one source of the light in the room and it was coming from the bathroom. It shined so brightly that I immediately noticed the birthmark on his shoulder, even while having one eye opened. After that, he opened the window, only by a bit and came back to where his clothes were and got the pack of cigarettes out. I turned my head slowly to look at him, maybe he won’t notice my head turning away, he thinks I’m still asleep. I am still asleep. My neck hurts. He looks and sounds distressed and anxious. Maybe he’s waiting to hear feedback from me or is waiting for me to wake up so that we can leave and be done with this. I hope he doesn’t think this is a bad idea because of me. I’m anticipating to find out more about his weapons in his arsenal. Maybe he’s scared I was gonna say the same thing everyone has ever said to him about what we just did. I need to wake up, he needs to see me, I want him to see me.

Instead, I moved a little in the bed, still feeling very heavy. There were gonna be consequence imprinted on my body with what we just did. And not only on my body, but in my heart and my soul and my life. My neck hurts a little, my hands have rope burns, I didn’t see them but I can bet on it and my butt aches only a little bit, I was sore and still had dried cum and lube all over me. And everything I just described, doesn’t bother me at all, I love it. I love having marks made by him. I need him to own me.

I mutter something into the pillow and Armie turned around immediately. I was blinking as much as I could, my eyes were burning up, I had trouble keeping them opened. Armie put off the cigarette in the ashtray and left the window still opened to get the smoke out.

He had a smile on when he came back to bed and joined me underneath the covers. It was so hot underneath it. Armie lied next to me and took me in his arms, I was beyond exhausted to latch onto him. His skin was cold and he smelled like cigarettes. He took my head in his hands, covering us both completely, we were bathing in the warmth inside the bed. I opened my eyes while he was caressing my hair and kissing my forehead from time to time.

Silence. Pure silence.

We just took a big step forward in this relationship. And not just here but inside Armie’s heart as well. This was our first time ever doing something like this. And after everything we’ve put our bodies through in the past couple of hours, silence was exactly what we needed and deserved. Because, what was there left to say after this?

“What time is it?” I breathed out against his chest. My mouth was dry.

“I don’t know, it doesn’t matter.” He whispered back, eyes closed.

I lifted my head to look up at him. Our eyes met and we smiled.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Like the most worshiped person in the entire Universe.”

We smiled at each other widely, I wasn’t forcing anything.

“Really?”

I nodded.

“You are more than worshiped tonight, Tim. You are everything. You mean everything to me tonight, and all the nights to come.” He breathed out and kissed my forehead again.

I opened my mouth to say something but noting came out. I don’t even know what I wanted to say.

Silence. I want to sleep more.

“How did it feel? Being taken in that way?”

“Like I wanted to do it again.” I whispered and smiled.

“Really?”

“Really.”

I made his dream come true.

“Oh, Tim…” He breathed out and kissed me on the lips. I felt the scar, it coagulated already.

“So…what are we gonna do tomorrow?” I teased him, knowing very well that he had all of this planned out ahead who knows how much time ago.

“I don’t know. We’ll see. We should get some sleep.” He said and was still caressing my hair.

“We should…” I said, already letting my heavy eyelids falling down.

“But Tim…”

He stopped me, I opened my eyes.

“How do you see me now? After this? Did your opinion of me changed that much?”

I formed a smile that only he understood and deserved.

“Like…like a person without secrets. Like the person who has nothing to hide. Like the person that I would do anything for. I see you as the person I love. And that loves me back. No matter what. My opinion did change, but only for the better.” Honest truth. Armie has no more secrets. Only one, I’ll ask him about it tomorrow: where did he learn to do this?

“Thank you, Tim. I am so lucky. And loved. Thank you.” Is he crying? Pussy. He can’t tie me up, blind fold me, take me that hard, pull my hair…and now cry.

How is this the same person?

Easy.

It’s why I love him. He’s the softest dude ever and also, the hottest one when he turns into a beast.

We kissed again, feeling the crust on his lip from earlier, and fell asleep once again, holding each other.

“Tim?” Armie’s soothing voice woke me up. He kissed my naked shoulder. I opened my eyes slowly and realized it was a new day already.

“Whaat…ah…” I muttered against the pillow.

Armie was hovering above me, kissing my shoulder, trying to wake me up.

“Babe, wake up. You need to eat something.” He breathed out against my skin.

“Ugh, fine…”

I felt him smile and he moved away from me. Unwillingly, I turned around on my back. Armie was now standing near the edge of the bed, stretching his legs, arms and head. We both needed to exercise a little after last night.

“Can you help dressing me up? I’m so tired.” I breathed out, rubbing my eyes. I was so exhausted, It even hurt to talk.

“No need. Stay naked in bed. I ordered room service.”

“You did?” I smiled widely. Of course he did.

“Anything for you.” He winked at me.

Armie was in his boxers only, like he was in the middle of the night.

“Ah, thank you. I don’t plan on dressing this weekend.” I breathed out and began stretching in bed also; arms above my head and legs as far as I could reach, it felt good. It was so big, cozy, so comfortable, I didn’t want to leave this bed ever.

“And I don’t plan on seeing you dressed this weekend as well.” He said when he finished.

We exchanged smiles and he came back to sit on the bed next to me, looking through his phone.

“Well I was dressed last night.” I reminded him.

“And I tore that off of you, didn’t I?”

“Well, actually I...”

“Shut up, kid.” He said.

I giggled and snuggled closer to him.

“What time is it?” I asked already as I was reaching for my phone.

“It’s 10 am.” He said.

I was scrolling through my phone, I had a bunch of birthday and Christmas wishes I never replied to. But only one text stood out.

“Mom texted. She landed.” I said and smiled widely.

“Awesome.”

I texted her back.

I love this atmosphere so much. Armie and me, in a beautiful hotel room, in a warm and cozy bed.

“Why are we up so early?” I asked him after I turned my phone off

“Breakfast.”

“Oh…” I want to sleep!

Fuck the food!

“Oh and by the way…I extended our stay here, until Monday evening, I called the reception. If that’s okay with you.” He said and kissed my forehead, looking down at me.

“Of course it is, yeah…” I said and smiled widely at him.

We stayed in that bed for couple of minutes, he was scrolling through his phone in front of me, like there was nothing there to hide from me. I love this.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

“Oh, that would be the food. Don’t move.” He said and got up.

“You know I’m not going anywhere.”

He put a robe on, that was already in the room before we arrived and went to open the door. I heard him talking and thanking the guy that brought us the food.

I smiled when he brought us breakfast in bed. No one has ever done this for me, ever. With him, I get to have it all; a night in a fancy hotel and breakfast in bed.

He opened the lids and reveled some pancakes and a fruit salad, also coffee. I wasn’t really hungry but decided to eat something at least. I was, however, hungry for something else.

“Dig in babe.” He said and joined me.

20 minutes later, we were done and Armie took the tray out and put it in front of the door on the outside.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked him after an hour as we were still lying in bed, cuddling, me underneath his arms.

“Yeah.”

“Where did you learn to do this? To tie those knots and…all that stuff that are gonna happen, I assume?” I really didn’t know how to phrase it but I did it anyway. I’m just curious where and who taught him because I don’t believe YouTube taught him.

“You’re gonna laugh but…okay, I’m gonna tell it anyway. Ah, couple of years ago, when I was 21, I was dating this girl who was…well not so nice now, back then I really had a thing for her in college. And while we were having sex one night and were really going at it, I strongly felt the need to choke her and when I did, or at least when I tried…I don’t know, it was like everything changed. I didn’t want to make love, I wanted to have sex, you know. She said she didn’t mind but only if it one time only. I didn’t know where it would take me so we broke up. I said it was because I had a lot to study and all.”

He was telling the story, caressing my back as I was breathing in his scent so close to his neck. I forgot how many relationships he’s had.

“And later on, after we…ended the relationship, I went online to see why was that even turning me on and all that stuff. I was reading at the wrong side of the internet where they involved psychology and psychiatry and treatments, and I was like…no…just…wanted to find out more about it.”

He stopped and laughed for a while but continued anyway.

“And when I did…oh God…I found out through this girl I met while I was still in college. She was not in my class or the University, she was older than I was back then, but we met at a party, a home party and that’s how I got into this kinky shit. Fuck, the way I say it now, sounds so ridiculous…Know this, um…she’s married now, I actually ran into her couple of months ago. She was…dating a woman, you know…she was a lesbian…when I met her, well…still is, but isn’t married to the same woman she was dating five years ago. At that party, I accidentally burst into the room where she was showing other girls, other…gay girls, you know…um…how to do the knots. I stayed there and watched her perform this…art, this mind blowing technique and the way she was working it…beautiful. Still beautiful, even to this day. After everyone left, she showed me how to do it. She said that she and her partner, back then, were in an opened relationship and that it was perfectly fine what she did, that her partner was okay with it. I think in the end, that’s what destroyed them, at least…that’s what I heard, I don’t know. I never looked at her more than a pal, a buddy, we never hung out, she showed me like four times how to do it and I was set. She didn’t remember my name but she remembered my eyes.”

Interesting…

“She did, however, bug me to go to sex parties. And after I ditched her like six times, I finally went. Boy, it was so…fucking hot, honestly. Naked bodies everywhere, girls crawling at your feet, sweaty bodies and the pheromones…but I didn’t do a single thing there. I walked in, saw couple of hot dudes and left. I never saw her again up until few months ago.”

Pussy. I was shocked.

“I did my research afterwards, watched videos and tried it on chairs and my legs…so, that’s it.” He finished and looked at me.

“Wait a fucking second!”

I removed myself from him.

“You went to a sex party and never had sex?!”

“Yup…” He chuckled, admitting defeat. This guy is…something else.

“Dude…you must’ve known you were…into guys back then…”

“I did, partly.” He chuckled.

“Well I’ve never been to a sex party.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I’m not even 21 yet, I doubt anyone would let a kid into that kind of party.” I said.

“We’re sex party virgins.” He spoke the truth.

“Oh, yeah…”

We both laughed at this. We knew absolutely nothing.

Armie explained everything, and answered all my questions without me even asking them.

So he met someone who taught him all of this, actually, only few things, he never did any of this to the end. It makes me feel…I don’t know…a young and confused Armie was looking for answers and he deepened his questions and desires and it led him up to this. Someone should write the book about this. But, honestly, I was getting hooked a little. I, myself, now would really want to know how to tie those knots and use other things on him. I think, seeing him wrapped in a red silky rope…it would be beautiful, he called it art, and I agree. But there was something deeper than just art, it was more like having someone to join you on this adventure that was filled with nothing but love, lust and mutual respect. I wanted to know more about what he’s into because I’m now really excited about seeing what else he’s got. And I knew I’d get to know him a lot better through this; while letting him fulfill his sexual desires and making every dream he’s had come true. I also couldn’t wait for him to use me like the previous night. I wanted to see more, I’m sure he can push himself further over the edge with nasty ideas.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I said.

This was the first time I got up since we came back from dinner the night before. My feet are just now touching the floor after 12 hours of being on a bed. I walked into the big bathroom I saw for the first time. It was beautiful. It had a bath tub, perfect. I closed the door and did my short business standing up and when I was done, I stood in front of the mirror to look at myself. If I were him, I’d lose my goddamn mind as well. I had rope burns around my wrists, dried cum on my chest, cheeks, chin and some in my curls, my hair was sweaty and flat where the blind fold was set, my cheeks were puffy, my lips were swollen. I felt the lube down my thighs still drying off, I was sore, my eyes felt heavy. In front of me I noticed Armie’s bag. I knew what that was, the bag was filled with his sex things on the sink. Of course I snooped around.

There were ropes in there, red, like the one we used, a blank elastic one, and one that looked pretty painful. A whip in a stick with a flat thingy on the end, this looks painful and interesting. A strap with a ball, I think I know what this is but I’ll let him tell me. Oh, finally something I know! I found a cock ring and anal beads. I saw something similar like that in “Fifty shades of Grey”. Just looking at these things I began feeling burn inside me. I was hungry again, I wanted more again.

I loved feeling so wanted and desired and cherished. I loved feeling so good and last night was mind blowing. I want to feel that again. I closed my eyes and randomly stuffed my hand in his bag and picked out few things. Then I walked out of the bathroom.

He was still lying on the bed in his boxers and was going through his phone.

“Armie?”

He turned his head around to look at me.

“Catch.”

I threw the black elastic rope at him and a strap with a ball on. It landed on his chest and he looked back at me, shocked a little. Now I’m the one who’s dictating. He’s in charge but he’s listening to me now.

I bent over the bed, naked, my ass already arching up in the air, asking for it already. He doesn’t need my words to know that I wanna do it again. Fuck, I’m so horny, I need him again, I need him to use me again like a toy.

“Use this on me. Now. I don’t think I’m quite certain what the other thing is but I don’t care, use it on me anyway. Tie me up. You can…fuck me dry, you can fuck me with your fingers, you can fuck my face, anything. Use me, Armie, please…I wanna feel good again, like last night.” I said. My own words made me hard, it pained me to keep my boner at bay.

“Tim…” He breathed out and stood up.

I stood up as well

“And this…” I pulled up the anal beads from behind my back. “This is for dinner.” I said and smirked.

I think…no…I know, Armie was overwhelmed and ecstatic and happy what I’ve just done. I was asking him to take me again and I was the one calling all the shots now. This means everything to him and the fact that I was a part of it and I wanted to participate, willingly…he was on cloud nine, I can vouch for that.

“Come here.” His dark blue eyes were like daggers and his deep and harsh voice almost made me leak.

I obeyed like the good boy that I am; I climbed back on the bed, facing him.

Let another round of twisted games begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	42. Electricity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy try something new, yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! Sorry for a late update, but here it is. I really hope you'll like this chapter. Enjoy it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments! Stay safe and take care!❤️

I sat in the middle of the bed, on my knees, facing him, looking straight at him. Will he forbid me to look at him, or will he tell me to look down? I continued to stare into his eyes until he says that I should to otherwise. He was holding the black elastic rope in his hands. Armie didn’t think much of it, he knew exactly what he was gonna do to me with it.

Armie then took both of the pillows and stacked them on top of one another.

“Lie down on the pillows, like last night.” He said. His serious voice and his serious face are back.

I obeyed him, I’m gonna do whatever he tells me to, exactly as he tells me.

He climbed on top of me, straddling my hips.

“Give me your left hand.”

I did.

He tied a knot over it, under it, across it, and then tied the end to the bed board. Luckily, there were sculptures sticking out at the frame. No wonder he picked this hotel.

“Good?” He asked when he tied my left arm to the bed post.

I nodded.

“Can you squeeze a fist?”

I squeeze my hand into a fist. He nods.

“Good boy.”

I smiled and bit my lip in front of him.

“Give me your other hand.”

I did and he repeated the entire process all over again. He asked me if it was good and if I could squeeze a fist. I was good.

Once he was done, he bent down to me and kissed me deeply, smacked my lips and bit on my tongue.

“I’m gonna have so much fun with you today.” He said and continued straddling me; roaming his hands across my chest and nipples.

I’m quiet, I am waiting for him to ask me something or tell me something to do, but what will I be able to do with both of my hands tied up again?

“Oh, I almost forgot.” He chuckled and turned around to grab something.

He pulled out the strap with a red ball on it.

“You know what this is?”

“I think so…” I squint my eyes, sort of apologizing for not knowing the name of the sex toy.

“A ball gag. You know where it goes?” He gasped and asked me.

“Here?” I pointed to my mouth.

“What a good boy you are. So smart.”

All for you. I’m the best boy out there, don’t you forget that, Armie.

“Open wide.”

I did and he put the ball on my tongue and leaned my head forward so that he could tie it around my head on the back of my neck

“Breathe through your nose.” He breathed out, Armie was already losing it.

I nodded. Remember that; breathe, breathe, breathe.

“You look so beautiful, babe.” Armie said and winked at me. I tried forming a smile but it was useless.

This time, I can’t touch him or myself, I can’t speak, I can’t lick, suck, kiss…nothing. I can only see and hear and smell. Is he randomly taking away all of my senses day by day? What’s gonna happen tomorrow? I wouldn’t be able to hear and smell? Whatever it is, I am excited to see.

Armie got off of me and was standing in the middle of the room, still in his boxers. I was tied up to a bed with a ball gag in my mouth, I was doomed to watch him do whatever he wanted.

“You’re hard, aren’t you?” His deep voice almost sent me over the edge.

I nodded quickly, looking down at my erection.

“You want me to fuck you?”

I nodded even faster, feeling tears already gathering in the corners of my eyes. The ball was stretching my mouth and the fact that my lips were dry didn’t help.

“Well…I’m not going to. Not today.”

I frowned and felt such fear and anxiety rush over me. What does he mean by that? Is he gonna leave me like this here all day long?

“I’m just gonna sit here and enjoy as you’re falling apart.”

Armie pointed at the chair in front of the bed.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I won’t be needing this.”

He said and took his boxers off. His cock was now sprung in mid air. If I had an option, I’d drool as he was walking around with his tool looking like that, calling to be taken, screaming to be touched and sucked, wanting to penetrate something, anything. Please, Armie…he’s gonna torture me, isn’t he?

“You lie there, tied up, and I’ll sit here and let you enjoy the view.”

He sat down. Armie’s long legs were finally out of use. He spread them and extended them across the bed. I did the unthinkable and extended my right foot to touch his.

“Na-ah…no touching…” He smirked and waved his index finger at me.

I whimpered. I’m so weak already. My arms were still fine but this ball was making it hard for me to express how much I wanted to touch him and be touched by him.

“If you’re good, I might just untie you and fuck you instead.” He said and smiled.

My attention is finally caught. I’m listening, Armie. It made me smile as well.

“But…we can go the other way around. You lie there, I sit here and I jerk off while you watch me.”

Oh fuck yes! I’m imagining I’m drooling. My cock twitched on my belly at the thought of him jerking himself off while I lie here, tied up, gagged, at his mercy. Yes please!

“Which one is it? One or two?”

I whimper again and kick my legs across the bed. I want to watch him jerk off and let him fuck me like this. It’s a once in a life time opportunity, I must take it. He’s gonna destroy me. I can’t wait to be destroyed by him. We both know that I know how this is absolutely not everything he’s got in his arsenal. There is so much more, bolder, darker, harder than this. This is nothing, it’s baby talk.

“If I untie you, we can’t play anymore, this would be it for today. No anal beads that you ordered for dinner. But if you decide to stay tied up there, we’ll play all throughout the entire night.”

Yes, yes, yes. I wanna be good. I wanna stay tied up and silent. I wanna be good for him. I’m his good boy, so smart, so beautiful. I took everything he gave me, and I’m ready to give more to him. There is still this overwhelming need to be good for him, I wanted him to be proud of me and be happy how I obey him momentarily, and I wanted him to drown in the praises I was ready to show him and show him just how much I want this and how much I’m ready to try anything he suggests. No limits.

“So…one or two…” He asked again, smirking. He massive cock was a fucking distraction to me.

I raised my index finger and my middle finger in the air to show him which one I chose.

“Two?”

I nodded.

“Good choice babe. If you don’t mind…I’ll just keep on sitting here. I want your eyes on me, at all times. I can’t tell you when I’ll get the urge to touch myself but…woah! Tim!” He got cut off in the middle of his sentence because my cock twitched when he mentioned touching himself. He loves this as much as I do.

I tried breathing through my nose, It was hard but I had to concentrate.

He squinted his eyes at me and smiled. Then he looked around the room for something, and when he found it, he snapped another Polaroid picture of me.

“So beautiful…”

He put the camera and the picture away on the desk that was next to him.

“One more thing tho…”

I looked at him. What now? What new rules is he gonna set up now?

“If you ever feel the need to stop this, and you can’t because…you can’t talk. Just knock three times against the bed board and we’re stopping, okay?”

I inhaled and nodded.

“Come on, knock three times…”

I did it with my left fist. He nodded and smiled.

Armie laid back and had his eyes on me the entire time. He did not move, he did not speak, he did not touch himself, he was just sitting and watching me. I did the same, well…that’s all I could do, just stare at him; I couldn’t speak or move. But I was hard and remained hard the entire time, so was he, but he kept one of his hands on the chair and other one on his thighs. It did not help because I could see his fingers, his beautiful, sexy fingers that made me scream and come at the same time. The thought of that made me twitch again and I was looking at him when his eyes rushed down to see it. He smirked. He must’ve known what was going through my mind. I did it again because I loved the way he looked at me, he smirked again.

The only sound that filled the room was my deep breathing. I was breathing through my nose and my mouth as much as I could next to the ball gag, deeply and loudly.

So, this is how we’re doing it now? We were sitting across each other and staring into each other’s eyes. It’s just like how we began; sitting across the table in the bakery, looking at each other, blue eyes and green eyes. Now it’s the same, only one step forward. Never have I ever, not even in my wildest dreams, saw this day coming, that one day with a man from the bakery would lead us to this beautiful hotel room where I was tied up and gaged and he was sitting across from me, keeping his hands at bay until he were to begin touching himself.

At one point, Armie straightened himself in the chair and combed his hair back, moving his arms and muscles, exposing his arms, neck and chest, breathing out while he’s taking the time of his life to comb his hair. He looked so fucking sexy, I twitched again. He smiled with his eyes closed, didn’t even need to look at me to guess what was going on. He is such a fucking tease! He knows exactly how to get to me. He knows what gets me weak. This is torture!

When he was done, he sat back down again, both hands now on his thighs. I could feel myself sweat next to my eyes and around my nose. I exhaled lightly through my nose. He’s just staring at me, I feel so exposed. I was flexing and extending my feet and my toes, my fingers and my hands, longing for him to just touch me. I was sure that, by this point, it would only take one or two touches anywhere on my body and I’d explode.

My eyes were on his eyes the entire time, I’d turn my head to the sides, I’d throw it back…my eyes were always on him. It had to have past maybe 15 or 20 minutes since he tied me up and gagged me at his mercy. Armie was just sitting there, looking me, the entire time; he was smiling and smirking from time to time, but mostly, he’d just have a calm look on his face. Unlike me who was falling apart. His eyes would travel south, looking at my body, like he hasn’t seen it before, touched it before, made love to it before.

Minutes past. Even more minutes. Maybe an hour. My hands are cramping, I felt like swallowing the ball. I was sweating all over my face, my eyes were wet, I was drooling onto my chest. We both remained hard for so long, I was indeed surprised. Armie was still only sitting there, staring at me, running his hand over his body from time to time. What a fucking tease!

I wanna give up.

Please, just start what you wanted to do already. I’d rather scream.

I hummed and he finally took that to his attention.

“What’s wrong babe?” He’d chuckle.

Fucking jerk.

“You’re right. This was fun, and you’ve been such a good boy. I might as well give you what I’ve promised you.”

Those were his last words before he licked his entire right palm and began touching himself.

I chocked on the air from my nose. I moaned loudly, kicking the sheets of the bed, squeezing my feet.

Armie touching himself and making that erotic sound with his hand while he did it…I should’ve been left dead on the spot. How the fuck am I not leaking from my hole now?

He looked at me and smiled as he was slowly stroking his huge cock in his hand. He’d look at me and then at what he was doing. Slowly and gently, cupping every part of his cock. He looked beyond hot while he was jerking off in front of me. It was not good for me because as soon as he started, my entire mindset changed. I tried relaxing, I really did, up until then and when he began I just lost it, I said fuck it and began falling apart from the very first start, so early on. What a pussy.

He's not stopping nor is he planning on stopping any time soon. I’m already losing it; I’m kicking my legs all over the bed.

It’s not fair! Why is he doing this to me? He knows exactly hot to hit my weak spot. He knows exactly what would make me lose my mind.

He’s taking his time in it and he is having a lot of fun. So am I, but it’s not fair. I want to touch him, anywhere near his body. I wanna touch myself, at least that. I want to touch myself looking at him touching himself. My body is starting to sweat, my entire body is already soaking wet. The rush of warmth overflows my body in a second while all I can do is watch, such cruelty! This should be illegal.

Armie looks stunningly beautiful just sitting there, jerking himself, moaning out of his breath, having the time of his life. He takes pleasure in watching me watch him, and while I’m watching him, all helpless, I’m falling apart and he’s loving it. This is brining me such pleasure, such excitement, my cock is twitching now non-stop. I wanna rip the ropes and touch him, I wanna move and be closer to him, I wanna take this shit out of my mouth and moan out loud for him to hear me. We don’t have to fuck, just let me touch myself.

But I called the shots, I asked for this and I’m not giving up. As much as it pains me, I wanna make it to the end, I wanna see what will happen when he is done or when I’m done.

The fact that he knows exactly how to torture me, in a good way, just shows what kind of a lover he really is; this is for the both of us. I will never again have this with anyone else.

If God is good, there will no one else after Armie.

The time for fun is over. He breathed out and now he’s moaning and his facial expressions had changed. He’s not smirking at me anymore, he’s not teasing me, he’s fully enjoying himself now. He’s masturbating to my naked body, all tied up and unable to move, and I adore that thought so fucking much.

“Oh…” He breathed out and threw his head back.

Fuck, I wanna touch him so badly I let tears finally soak my skin.

He takes his head back and wets his palm again and speeds up the stroking. I’m kicking the bed harder, already letting down more tears, I’m pulling the ropes, I wanna bite through the stupid ball. My cock is tightening on its own, so is my stomach. I’m hyperventilating. Out of pure pleasure, I’m clenching and releasing my hole, just like I did it to him the previous night. I do it over and over again, it makes me so fucking horny, I’m arching my back again and again and again. Can’t he see that I need to get fucked!? I bent my knees and now I’m arching my back, throwing my head back, exposing my neck. He loves my neck. I know what he needs and I keep it back for some time.

“Oh, Tim…fuuck…mmm…” He’s losing it as well. Good.

Now he’s arching his hips as well, clenching onto the chair with his other hand as he’s twisting his pelvis and speeding up while touching himself.

I look at him, I squeeze my eyes shut, let all the tears gather and fall down as I’m trying to stay calm inside my head but there is absolutely no use. I can’t move, I can’t talk, I can barely breathe, I’m close, I feel it, I’m close. If he doesn’t release me any time soon, I’m gonna come untouched again. I’ve only ever managed to do that with him. My stomach hurts, my hole hurts, for some reason, my entire body is crying and screaming for a single touch, anywhere on my body, I don’t care. I’m pulling the ropes, sobbing now loudly, he sees it and bites his lips and continues to twist his hips, speeding up his strokes. Armie’s moaning from the bottom of his throat, I’ve never heard him moan like this, it’s beautiful. He makes that sound with his wet palm over his cock again and moaned once more, and I clenched my hole again and arched my back into it.

His cock is red and swollen, he’s leaking; precum covered his entire fist. I look down at my stomach and realize that I’ve already leaked some time ago. I didn’t even feel it. That’s because I’m like an electrical wire now, one touch and I’m gonna explode. Fuck, what did I got myself into? I have never felt like this, ever. My cock is swollen as well and continues to twitch every time I look at him. Armie’s hands are clenching, muscles are exposed; arms, stomach, legs…I can see every muscle, every vein, such clear and sweaty and hairy skin. He’s making the most erotic sounds of jerking off a very wet cock. His silky and sweaty hair is sticking to his red forehead, I noticed tears on his cheeks as well when he moved his head to the side, his nose is running, he’s frowning but out of sheer pleasure, he’s gonna eat his lips away, as am I. We’re now both gonna have the matching crusts on our lips. Is this how he always looks while masturbating? If so…I got lucky because _this_ Armie Hammer is the most beautiful human being that ever walked the Earth.

I was happy that he never played any music because the sounds we’re both making are enough to turn any person on.

I feel like he’s an electrical wire as well, he’s evaporating with such energy that is already penetrating through my body without the actual physical contact. I can feel the air thickening just from the sounds that he’s making; he’s grunting and moaning, he’s jerking off with his precum already smeared all over his cock, it’s so fucking good.

“Tim…oh my God…” He threw his head back and is now constantly moaning my name, over and over again.

“Tim…Tim…ah…Tim…ah…Tim…mmm…Tim…”

I try and hum as much as possible, I’m screaming actually, as much as I can with the stupid ball inside my mouth, pressing down on my tongue.

Armie speeds up and is now trembling. I’m trembling as well, my eyes are wet, I’m sweaty, he’s shaking his entire body while moaning loudly, again and again and again, jerking his fist up and down and up and down, covering the entire hand filled with meat with his saliva and precum. I’m losing control, I’m losing my mind, my muscles are clenching and suddenly relaxing, I wanna rip the ropes and swallow the ball, the strength to do so is beyond me.

I stiff at one point, head forward, clenching all of my body muscles and then I relax completely when I began shooting my semen all over my stomach and sheets next to me. I sob at the end and slam my head back so hard that I eventually hit the bed board. I heard him chuckle and say something but I’m too dizzy and too tired to respond. I just came untouched by looking at Armie jerk off in front of me. this doesn’t happen very often, or at all.

I’ve never felt anything like this, I’ve never had to force every muscle in my body to help me ejaculate. I had nothing to stimulate me or speed the process, this happened naturally.

“Fuuuuck…Tim…ah…you look so beautiful…” He’s breathing out word by word but I’m still not sure where I am and what just happened.

I can’t move or speak, am I even alive?

I’m dizzy. And exhausted.

He threw his head back and was now only rubbing the head of his cock. He was twisting his hips in circles as I was beginning to shake. There was no way out. I was soaking wet, I had cum and saliva on my stomach, I couldn’t stop crying, I was chocking. This is torture, this is cruelty!

“Fuuuck…oh…” He grunted and jumped off the chair and onto the bed. Armie’s now so close to me, I can feel his boiling skin all over me without even touching me, I can smell him. I’m gonna die.

Armie straddled me again and untied my hands from the bed post quickly, but there were still knots around my wrists. My head was jumping from one side to the other, eyes still rolling back, breathing lightly but still deeply. I swear, I was ready to die. But I can’t, he needs to come. He took no time, pulled my thighs towards him and pushed himself inside me. And when he entered me without any preparation, I felt nothing; no pain, no pressure, I’m naturally opened for him. Actually no, I felt everything. Because then, the time had stopped, everything slowed down. I could feel him getting inside me inch by inch, having the clear image in my head. The first thing I did, now that my hands were untied, I hugged him around his neck with strings of a rope still hanging from my wrists. I hugged his entire body; my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He’s not gonna last much longer but I don’t care. My eyes were opened, head thrown back and everything around me was in slow motion. It was incredible. He’s been keeping me on edge for some time now and when I finally came, that was what almost sent him over the edge. His sweaty body rubbing against mine, his hairy chest rubbing against my bare chest, my legs are sliding down from his sweaty waist, my arms were getting soaked from his sweaty hair. I was barely touching the bed as he was thrusting inside me. It didn’t take him much long, only few thrusts but in my head, it felt a lot longer and gentler and slower. I heard him grunt and moan against my ear, I still couldn’t talk or make a sound, only humming and breathing through my nose. Suddenly, I felt everything. I felt everything on the outside and everything on the inside. I felt him thrust inside me, I felt him moving inside my body, I felt the bed moving, I could count his breaths, his grunts, his moans, I could feel his hands on my sweaty and week body, my body against his body. It was heavenly. It didn’t feel like we were on Earth, it didn’t feel like we were on the bed, it felt like we were up there, among the clouds.

I took my arms off of his neck and cupped his face. I held it still while he was still pushing inside me. Armie was hyperventilating and was sweaty, his face was red and he had veins pop on his forehead. He’s never looked so stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful. His eyes looked sad, or was that because he was extremely overwhelmed. I kept his head in one spot when I felt his body stiff above me. He is close. He parted his lips but nothing came out, he wanted to kiss me but couldn’t. I caressed his cheeks when I felt him spill his semen inside me. It felt like he was coming for couple of minutes; I felt every last bit of drop of his cum fill me up. I threw my head back because I never felt more alive and never felt this good. He continued to move inside me even after he emptied himself, just so he could get everything out, and I was there to take it.

“Tim…” Armie grunted my name and parted away from me.

He pulled out and the spell was broken. Time was back to normal, everything I felt was now gone, we were in a simple hotel room on a big and beautiful bed. We were not floating, we were not on clouds, it did not last as long as I thought it did.

He was no longer connected with me but he stayed close in case I needed him.

First thing he did, he untied my wrists, that took some time because his hands were shaking, his entire body was trembling still, and then he took the ball gag out of my mouth. I coughed loudly and violently when he did. Armie immediately jumped out of the bed and rushed into the bathroom, I heard the sink go on and he came back with a glass of water.

“Here, babe…drink…” He said and handed me the glass.

I took it and drank it very fast. He was there watching me and removing curls from my face, kissing my forehead.

“Thanks…” I whispered as loud as I could, and handed him the glass back. Armie drank the rest.

My throat was in a sort of pain but it’ll get better. I looked at my wrists, they had yet another layer of rope burns. I breathed out and rubbed my eyes as to wipe my tears off. Armie bent down to put the glass on the floor. When he came back, I rushed to his body and tackled him down. He giggled when he realized that I, so skinny and fragile and someone who just went through yet another intense session of over-sensation, managed to tackle down a big guy like him. I straddled his waist and pushed my head against his neck. Armie was silent and hugged me closer to him.

We stayed like that for quite some time.

Silence. 

He was caressing my back, up and down. I was lying exhausted on top of him, breathing in his scent, touching and plugging some of his chest hairs.

“You okay, Tim?”

I nodded on top of him.

“How’s your head?” He asked and touched the back where I hit against the bed board. I was under so much adrenaline, I didn’t feel a thing when I smashed my head back.

“It’s okay…” I replied, throat still dry and in pain.

“What’s wrong? Why are you silent? ” He asked, he sounded worry. I don’t want him to worry.

“I’m just…” I looked up. “I don’t know what I feel. I feel everything, and I feel nothing. I guess I’m just tired.”

I lied back down on him again.

He’s silent for a while until he asks again.

“Do you hate me now?”

I looked up again.

“Are you crazy? Why would I hate you?” I frown, swallowing hurts.

“Because of what I’m putting you through.”

“You didn’t force me, Armie. This is my choice. When I collect all my thoughts and feelings, I’ll let you know.” I said and smiled.

My eyes are closing on their own. Fuck, I’m always so tired after sex, I hope this is normal.

“Okay, but until you do…could you please tell me if you still love me?” He breathed out, still caressing my back.

“Yes! You jerk! Of course I still love you. This is all new to me and I’ve never…felt this way before. So good and happy, all the time. I’m tired now because you idiot wanted to torture me…” I pull one hand towards him and lightly slap his cheek. He’s an idiot.

“Hey, you chose number two.”

“I know…I loved it, I really did, never mistake my silence and exhaustion for anything other than this. And I love you.” I chuckled.

“Love you too.”

We kissed, for the first time since we began. A gentle and slow kiss, lips caressing lips.

He kissed my head again and I lied back down on his chest, listening to his heart beating through the skin underneath the palm of my hand.

We were finally back to normal.

I closed my eyes for just a few seconds and the next time I opened them, it was dark outside, it was dark in the room and Armie was shaking me to wake up so that he could go to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last year, i saw a gif of someone who was doing the same thing as Armie here, probably alone and didn't have someone tied to the bed like Timmy here, and that's where i got the idea for this chapter. My year old idea finally came to life.  
> While i was editing this chapter just a couple of minutes ago, in the end i felt very raw and uneasy, but in a good way.  
> I'll do my best and post the next chapter soon. My motivation these days is so low but i'll manage.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	43. Whatever you want me to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their day continues. They try something new once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! Sorry for the late update, i'm really shit with my motivation these days. I've already began writing the next chapter and it should be done soon. Anyway, hope you'll like this one, enjoy the chapter and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments! Take care and stay safe!❤️

It must’ve been around 6 pm when he woke me up to go to the bathroom because I remember quite well that at around 7 pm I was already on my hands and knees, choking on the pillow case as he was putting the anal beads inside me like I asked him to.

I never before felt like my head was gonna explode from all the blood pouring in my skull, or because I could feel veins on my forehead pumping violently. We were almost out of lube. I watched him cover each and every one of the beads with lube and smearing around it. What was fantastic for the both of us, especially for me, is that I didn’t need much opening. Armie pushed two fingers inside me and moved them for couple of minutes and then pushed one bead at a time. It hurt, it hurt so much as he was pushing the beads through my hole but once they all got settled down…it was like spine chilling pleasure ran through my body, my system was filled with so much adrenaline and I was constantly moaning. It was something I couldn’t stop and I doubt Armie would’ve wanted me to be silent and not enjoy this out loud.

We must’ve lied around for half an hour before I jumped on him to get it started because we were supposed to go down for dinner. I was much happier and in the mood after what we did in the morning. I feel like as the hours went by, I was more and more into the freaky shit as he is. He told me to wait for a while, because only a few hours ago I got fucked without any preparation and we all know that that one comes with consequences sometimes.

“I didn’t feel a thing, Armie.” I breathed out against his lips, already searching for the beads somewhere on the bed. When he came back from the bathroom, I attacked him again and we lied down just like we’ve been lying for hours prior.

“What do you mean?”

I sat up in his lap.

“When you fucked me earlier. I didn’t feel any pain or anything. And you saw it, you just slid right in.”

“Yeah…maybe now…you’re…”

I bent down to his lips again.

“I’m getting used to you…and you hammer.” I whispered and he bit his lip, licking his lower one where he had the crust.

This made us both laugh.

Armie swat my ass and kissed me. I kissed him back, intentionally rubbing myself on top of him by arching my back on his crotch.

“On your hands and knees.” Armie grunted against my lips, tugging my hair towards him.

I jumped like a happy child and positioned myself like he told me. I’m waiting for him. Jesus, I never saw this coming, I never saw these days of my life coming. I’m waiting for a man to put something inside me.

Armie got up and walked around the bed to grab the lube, I’m following his every move. He’s touching himself a little just to get the both of us started. He knows the best way to open me up is to turn me on, and he saw earlier the best way of turning me on.

“Hey, what time is it?” I asked him as he was standing next to my phone. He turned it on.

“It’s 7:20 pm…”

I nodded and smiled at him. He smiled back and climbed back on the bed behind me. Armie put the towel underneath me again and pushed a hand in between my shoulder blades and that’s how I ended up face flat on the pillow.

I felt the first two small ones get in, then the three middle ones and I had to grab my balls and squeeze them as to not come just yet. I’ve never felt anything like this. There were two more beads left and those two were quite big. I was shivering with each passing second. I had to breathe deeply, concentrate on my breathing. The pillow was a nice soundproof object.

“You okay, babe?” He asked, caressing my skin.

“Yeah…just…fuck…” I breathed out every word.

“Talk to me.”

“Good, so good…” I moaned out and heard him chuckle.

“Oh, one more left, babe. Come on, you can do it.” He said and bent down to kiss my butt.

I know I can, and I will. I can take anything he throws at me. Anything. No boundaries, no limits, no questions asked.

Spine chilling sensation and pleasure. Whenever I’d feel one move, I’d roll my eyes and bite my lips. How am I gonna make it through dinner like this? Damn. This is gonna be the hardest thing I’d have to do.

“Done…” Armie said and removed himself from behind me.

It was no use, I still felt something inside me. I was still breathing deeply and shortly.

“You can get off now Tim.” He chuckled when I didn’t move for a while.

“In a minute, ah…” I breathed out against the pillow.

“You okay?” He asked, taking his boxers off the floor and putting them on next to the bed.

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Any pain?”

“Are you kidding me? Fuck no! it feels so good, I’m scared to walk.” I raised my voice, giggling. And then I moaned and tightened the grip on the pillow.

“Ha, no need. It’s settled perfectly inside. Try standing up.”

I straightened my body on the bed, kneeling.

“Come on, give me your hands.” He appeared behind me, offering me his hands to turn around and grab a hold of him.

I did. I stood up in front of him. It tickled me on the inside.

“Walk a little across the room.” He said, still chuckling. He loves seeing me like this.

I made couple of steps.

“Ouch…it tickles…”

Armie was still very much giggling, he found this extremely amusing, considering that tickling sensation was the last thing I could ever feel while handling in a sex toy in my hole. Who would’ve thought I would ever be the type to say yes to this. I know what changed. I fell in love. I love this man and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. He must’ve found it amusing because I’m a beginner in this situation and he was…experienced? A little maybe. And that I was acting like a true beginner. Aren’t beginners supposed to be scared shitless, not knowing what the other person has in stored for them. Yeah, that was me, the night before, terrified. And now I’m much more relaxed, curious, excited, happy, sexually satisfied and turned on like never before. These beads were caressing my guts, tickling me, making me shiver out of sheer sensation and pleasure.

Armie handed me the same clothes from last night so I won’t bend over and moan again. And when did he not love listening to me moan? We’re so fucking dirty, I haven’t changed clothes in two days, neither did he. We didn’t shower or brush our teeth. And as he was making his way to the bathroom, I threw my underwear on the floor and simply put my jeans on and my sweater. I was careful while putting my jeans on, I tried not to accidentally pull the strings and the beads out. Once I put them on, I tried sitting down; I felt the pull-out handle and my lips shivered when I felt another round of spine chilling sensation run through my system. I realized that I might have to sit with my legs crossed, not opened, because then I’d feel the need to grind against the seat and oh…Will I manage to sit like this for an hour downstairs? I must. I was hard. Every time I’d think about what was inside me, I’d go hard all over again. Armie walked out, dressed and his hair was combed…well…he tried. His hair was a mess and was sweaty. Shit. Maybe I should do something about my hair as well. He was hard as well and I intentionally brushed his crotch when I passed him. I had enough space but I wanted to tease him. In return, Armie only swat my ass and extracted a mixed sound of me giggling and moaning. I combed my hair as well but there was no use; my entire body and face were a mess, I was still very much swollen and puffy, hair was…a disaster, I haven’t brushed my teeth ever since we went to the airport to drop mom off. Disgusting. And hot. But to think about everything we’ve done since we came here…dropping mom off felt like days, weeks ago.

I gave up on my hair and only ruffled it a bit. When I walked out, Armie took my hand in his, intertwined our fingers and we were off. I got butterflies in my stomach when he held my hand.

We were holding hands the entire time we walked to the elevator and I was the one who let go of him when I pressed the button and waited for it to get here. We were alone, there was no one in the hallway. Armie took this chance and pressed his nose behind my ear and inhaled my scent. I felt my boner rising, his as well. Not fair! The elevator had two people inside. I wish they could read our faces and know everything what we did since last night, and I wished for them to see it through our clothes and figure out what I have underneath my jeans and inside me.

We were in the restaurant for almost an hour. He saw that I couldn’t wait any longer and left his plate half filled. I sweat during meal. The food wasn’t hot, I just couldn’t wait for him to fuck me hard in any way possible, something new definitely. While I was sitting with my legs crossed I could still feel the beads touching me on the inside, I was trying to control my breathing and my mouth kept drying out, which lead to me constantly licking my lips or gulping water, which also made Armie drool over himself as he was watching me do it. It was a devilish circle we created at dinner.

The second we came back to our room and closed the door behind us, he pushed me against the wall and squeezed my neck all along looking at me. My lips were shivering, I almost bit off my lower lip from anticipation. He pushed himself against me and I yelped. I wrapped one of my legs around his waist and he choked me harder. I was the one to tug his hair and smash our lips together. By that point I gave up on waiting and wanted to be taken right there on the spot, against the wall next to the door. Armie brough my other leg around his waist and lifted me into his arms. I giggled into the kiss and continued kissing him deeper, pushing my tongue into his mouth as much as I could; my jaw ached, and I didn’t give a single fuck.

Armie carried me all the way to the bathroom and let go of me when we both stood in front of the tall wall mirror; him standing behind me. We were both dressed which was weird for me.

“You ready, babe?” He whispered against my ear from behind and bit it.

I nodded, feeling myself rising inside my jeans. He’s gonna lose it when he finds out I’m not wearing anything underneath.

From behind, he began taking my clothes off and throwing them on the floor. I watched him doing this in the mirror in front of me. His cold hands travelled from my hips up and up pulling the sweater off of me. Then he pushed his hand in front of my crotch and undid the belt and zipper and took my jeans off. I stepped out of them. My boner jumped as soon as he undressed me, I’ve been keeping it inside for far too long.

“No underwear?” His eyes widened and was very well surprised.

“Nope…”

“You little devilish boy.”

I smirked at that.

I’m naked again. I still have cum on my stomach, my chest, my face and still felt, even though it was invisible, lube down my thighs. I had his dried cum inside me, sticking to my skin, and I had seven anal beads right where they belong. I was so dirty, so filthy, I have never felt so good, so owned, so cherished. As long as I have something of him on me or inside me, I am his. This, all of this, was his property.

“What are you gonna do with me now?” I asked, looking at his eyes in the mirror.

“You’ll see…something good…”

I continued looking in front of me as he was fiddling with something in his special toy bag.

Armie pulled out another set of dark blue ropes. He untied them and left the other part on the sink. I guess he’ll either use that for later or will not use it at all. I touched it. And then I looked at my hands again. My skin will be painted with yet another layer of rope burns, again. I couldn’t wait.

“Spread your arms to the sides.”

I did just that.

Armie took one string of rope and bent it in two parts and wrapped it around my chest, just above my nipples, he connected them on my back and pulled the string through it and pulled them to the front, just underneath my chest muscles, then he did some tying on the behind and with his fingers and those two strings appeared in front of me again. He crossed them and pushed them underneath the lower layer underneath my chest, tied the knot again down there, made some spiral moves and did the same thing with the layer that was above my chest and pushed the strings again up and crossed it. The same strings came back behind me and tied some knots behind me like he did the first time. He took his time with the tying behind me, I couldn’t see it but it was tight and it looked beautiful. Armie looked beyond focused and concentrated with what he was doing, he really did learn well. Finally, it looked like something I have seen before.

“A harness…” He said and turned me around.

I pushed my head to the side to look at it. It looked complicated for me but Armie seemed to handle it pretty well. He turned me back. I touched it. I was wearing a harness he made for me, I looked really good, he seemed happy.

This made me look at this in a totally different way. Now that I could actually see him decorating my body, and doing so, he looked so into it and so focused, everything was neat and held on tightly…it made it a lot easier for me to look into his soul while we’re making love from now on. All I can see is the after game; dry mouth, sour throat, rope burns, cum stains. But now, when I actually got face to face with the entire process of it all, it painted a whole new picture of Armie and his deep unsatiated desires in my eyes.

I looked beautiful and I felt beautiful. I felt good, cherished, worshiped, sheltered, safe. And it’s all thanks to him.

“Before I tie your hands…” He said. His voice was low and soft. It was just the two of us here.

He noticed me looking myself in the mirror and admiring my beauty. Armie smiled when he realized that I do, in fact, feel beautiful and sexy when I’m with him. That was his goal all along, that’s what he’s been saying to me since the very beginning. He told me I was beautiful before our first kiss.

“Take my clothes off…” He whispered against my cheek and kissed it.

I turned around immediately and removed everything he wore that night. All of his clothes ended up on the floor next to mine. I bent down to undo his belt and zipper, to remove his jeans and his boxers. I felt the beads move inside me and I let out a soft moan, Armie smiled above me. I wanted for him to either tell me do to something while I’m kneeling or to just hold my head in one place while he starts gently fucking my mouth. Neither of those things happened and he helped me get up.

Now we’re both naked, both hard, both excited and just a little bit afraid. He was standing behind me, our skins were touching, I was looking at him in the mirror, and he was looking at me.

Armie then gently touched my shoulder and let his hands travel south until he got to my elbows and pulled them behind my back. I bent my elbows behind my back like he thought I would, my arms holding onto one another as he was fiddling with another layer of rope he earlier left on the sink. I inhaled and exhaled, waiting for him to tie me up, yet again.

Armie’s face was focused on his work again and soon enough, my arms were tied behind my back.

“Good?” He asked, looking at the mirror.

I nodded.

“One more thing.” He added and then bent down to reach something from his pocket.

He pulled out a black hair tie and showed it to me. I smiled widely. That’s right! He wanted to see me with a man bun. Now it’s his chance.

Armie has the hardest and toughest grip when we’re having sex and when he feels the need to tug my hair backwards…but he also has the softest, cloudy hands and fingers when he’s combing my dirty hair backwards and tying it into a bun. Some locks of curls were falling out but he managed to get the big part of the hair into a bun. He was so gentle, I almost did not recognize him. If he were to put a blind fold on me and tie my hair, I’d have to second guess where Armie is because he sure as hell isn’t tying my hair.

When he was done, he shook his head and looked beyond pleased, he was smiling.

“So beautiful. The most beautiful creature I ever met.” He said and meant it.

He kissed my cheek again.

“Okay…ready?” He asked and fucking blushed when he did.

We were so sweet and gentle, and now we’re about to go back to freaky weirdos and sex fog and what not.

I nodded. Why am I so silent all of a sudden?

While Armie was still very much looking and admiring our naked bodies, I had a thought. This is what he likes, and I love him, it doesn’t instantly mean that I have to like it too. But I want to like it because through all of this I am finally seeing the real Armie, I am finally getting the taste of who he really is. And maybe, through him, I can find myself and what I like. Never have I ever thought that bondage would be a turn on for me, and maybe it’s not, but the man behind the ropes…that’s what turns me on, nothing more, nothing less. So tonight, I am gonna see if this is who I really am…I am gonna give it to him like never before, I am gonna ask him to do whatever he wants with me, I am gonna be loud, I am gonna be bossy, because he likes me bossy, I am gonna scream for him to not stop and to never stop. I just hope he doesn’t gag me again. I want him to hear me.

Tonight, I am gonna be whatever he wants me to be in the bed. I am not a slut. At least not in general. Maybe I’m only a real slut when it comes to him. But Armie doesn’t see me that way either. I am only reaching out and taking what my lover has in stored for me. He’s gonna get what he wants and automatically, I am gonna get what I want as well.

Tonight, I am gonna be whatever you want me to be, Armie. No boundaries, no limits, no questions asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to watch a video and follow the instructions on how to make a shibari harness. It looks easy but it's definitely not, because, right now, at this point, i wouldn't know how to do it from my head.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	44. Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy have yet another crazy night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! I am so sorry for posting this late, i just finished writing this chapter. I made myself to write it by force and once i started i couldn't stop. My motivation has been down lately, but i will try and start the next one pretty soon. I have it all planned out in my head, but the big issue is having to get that onto the screen.  
> I hope you'll like this chapter, enjoy it, and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!  
> Please, stay safe and take care!❤️

I can never predict whatever Armie has got ready for me in his head, because as soon as he stopped admiring our bodies in the tall wall mirror, he picked me up bridal style and took me out of the bathroom. I was throwing giggles all over the place, and feeling the beads moving and touching my insides, I was also moaning. It was a short walk, yet if I were to let go completely, I would come twice by then.

He threw me on the bed so my head was almost hanging from the edge of it; my legs were on the pillows. Oh, so we’re doing something upside down then? I landed on my arms and I already felt the muscles burn. He walked around the room and picked something off the floor. A blind fold. Damn it Armie, I wanna see you.

I lied down facing the ceiling and he showed up above me and tied the blind fold behind my head. I was blind again, tied up again and ready to get it done brutally again. All I could do now is listen to his movements around the room. He was moving all over the place, mostly around my head. How long am I supposed to wait until he decides what he’s gonna do with me? Maybe he already has the plan in his head but for some reason he is waiting for the perfect moment. Is he trying to come up with the pattern of not hurting me, because just by listening to his movements and his deep and tortured breathing, I’d say he was craving to hurt me badly? How can I say it to him to just do it? How do I make him hurt me physically? I want him to hurt me, I want to have his hand prints all over my body, red marks and spots of his boiling fingers swatting against my skin, I don’t mind it at all, I am lusting over having something of his on my body permanently. I saw he had that paddle…I think…in his bag, he can use that on me any time, any day. Maybe a scar? Yes, a scar! Anywhere on my body…I want him to hurt me and leave a mark so that I’d remember whom I belong to and who owns my body, my heart and my soul. I want for the whole world to know that I’m his. I love it when we were to go out among people where they have no clue what we just did. I wouldn’t mind him hurting me at all, but that’s the last thing on his mind. I don’t mind the pain, it will pass. I want him to mark me any way possible.

My thoughts got interrupted when I finally felt warmth on my face. He’s here, my head is between his legs, I just know it.

“Open wide, and stick your tongue out.” He said.

I needed a moment to stop grinning and opened my mouth like he said. And now I’m gonna enjoy this very much.

But then I thought what my dentist always tells me “Open wide”, and I just burst out laughing right there and then, it was too funny not to. I heard him laugh above me, which made me laugh even harder.

“I feel like…I feel like I’m at the dentist!” I breathed out.

“Jesus Tim…”

I can’t believe we were laughing right now, this is ridiculous. There isn’t a proper time and place for us to keep the jokes to ourselves, my God, I love this so much. Any time, any place, no matter the circumstances, we’re always gonna find something funny to entertain us. Now, we’re laughing our asses off. The fact that I was lying down made me laugh even harder, and he was above me, I felt the bed damp, probably his hands as he was holding onto.

Two or three minutes later, we’re all out of laughter and ready to get down to the business. Our laughs faded away and I breathed in and breathed out deeply. I’m ready.

“Okay, okay, I’m serious now…” I breathed out.

We’ll laugh later about this. Now, it’s time for me to show him who I really am, and to see what really turns me on. I know exactly how to stir him up and how to extract from him whatever I want.

“Give it to me. Feed me, daddy.” I said and opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out.

Now I must really look vile and slutty, begging for his cock with my tongue sticking out. Oh, you bet! I clenched my hole experimentally and breathed out fast because the beads were tickling me on the inside. Armie was silent and almost unresponsive.

Armie touched both of my cheeks and soon, I left his tongue on mine. He kissed me deeply, upside down. It was so wonderful, so much muscle and so much saliva. I had to remind myself that neither of us had washed our teeth for…two days? Disgusting. I love it. When he parted from me, I went back to my original pose.

“Well, when you ask for it so nicely.” He breathed out, caressing one of my cheeks.

I opened wide yet again and the fact that he was stiff after I called him that…oh boy, there’s no telling what he’s gonna do to my anymore.

I felt him sliding his cock across my face, my cheeks, over my tongue, my teeth, because it tickled me and I had to smile and laugh all together. He then slapped his cock over my tongue a few times and I twitched. On that move, he moaned my name out. He did it again and again, fuck…how badly I wish I could see me do that and see his reaction to it. I love having a handful of meat over my face. Armie has never shoved his cock down my throat while I was lying upside down, and now that he did, it was a totally different experience. All I did was holding my mouth opened and let him control the movements. First, I’d just suck and pop the head of his cock, as much as I could reach from how I was lying down. He grunted when I was trying my best to grab him with my mouth as I could get of his skin. I felt myself twitching from time to time. The fact that I was now turned on so much and because this is my favorite activity while pleasing Armie, I couldn’t help but clench and stiff my hole, which made the beads move on the inside, and that resolved in me moaning with his cock in my mouth, which, in the end, made him moan as well. This went on for some time, but if this is how we began, I couldn’t wait to see what else was coming my way.

“Tim…” He breathed out and touched my cheek upside down. There was no more hair to hold onto. He had a clear vision of my face now. My dirty and unwashed face. I bet he loved watching my pretty little mouth swallow his massive junk so fucking much.

It’s way different from anything we’ve ever done before; now, I was tied up, with a blind fold on and no way of using my hands that were behind me and I was lying on top of them. Here, Armie had full control over everything, he gets to dictate what we do and for how long, and how much was I allowed to swallow and when I get to do something else. Full control and full responsibility, and it was all in his hands. And there was nobody else I’d trust with this other than him. It’s crazy. I’m his and I want him to know that in bed he owns me and my body full 100%, no more, no less.

I didn’t suck him off for much longer, at least not alone. At one point he removed his cock from my mouth and I took three big and deep breaths. I didn’t know I needed them until he made that available for me. I heard him move on top of the bed, and the next thing I felt was his hand on my hips, turning me to my side and his mouth around my cock.

“Ah! Armie…” I yelped and then silenced.

It’s been so long since he sucked my cock. It was the last thing I expected after how we began, but…mutual pleasure, that’s what we agreed on.

I moaned loudly again, totally out of time and space about where I am and what just happened. He continued to swallow me whole, or as much as he could, caressing my legs. And then I felt his other hand behind my head and he guided my mouth to suck him off on the other end. We’re 69ing again, and I love it. Lying on our sides and sucking each other’s cocks, what an amazing dream come true.

I tried moving my head as much as I could because there was no telling where is his ending, I can’t see and I didn’t have my hands available to me to at least hold it and stroke it so I could feel the length. By this point, I already knew his size just by how much my jaw would ache after it. That is literally the single most amazing feeling in the world. I just settled down to going half way as much as I could reach, up and down, having my mouth stuffed with so much meat and skin. He was on the other end and he had complete access to everything. At one point, I was afraid he’d accidentally pull the beads out, but luckily, that never happened. His hands were free, so he held me by my hips and was stroking me with his other hand that was rather lazily leaving anything on my skin. He was either lying on it or didn’t need it at all. Armie Hammer can finish a man using only one hand. Not surprised at all.

He too did his best to swallow me as much as he could. It was him who told me that I’m…what…big? I don’t know. But he wasn’t getting his lips and tongue down all the way to the base. I’d moan loudly around his cock every single time his tongue would make me want to jump. I tried not pulling it out of my mouth because then I wouldn’t have any idea where his cock was and I just had to act like a lost kid and search for it with my mouth. But luckily, the four times it did pop out, Armie’s hand was automatically there to put his cock back into my mouth, right where it belongs.

Soon after, he popped me out and I did the same. I’m breathing now, still lying upside down. I heard him walking around the place, I felt the bed damp right where my legs were.

“You think you’re ready for me babe?” He asked and bent my knees and put them on his thighs. He was kneeling on the bed. I felt his tiny thigh hair tickling me.

“Yes, please…ah…please just…give it to me…” I want him to go mad. Because this too was making me go mad, I didn’t know I had it in me. I didn’t know I loved to beg and that it turned me on so fucking much.

“Needy little one, aren’t you?” I heard him chuckle. he loves this as well, I just know it. I saw what “daddy” did to him.

“Yes. Yes, I am…I need you, please…” I breathed out again and moaned once I felt his hands slide up and down my thighs. I slammed my head back and just waited for him to do something. My arms were already cramping behind my back.

“You’re such a good little boy tonight. I’ll make sure you get everything you ask for.” Armie said and cupped my cock and began stroking it slowly, brutally slowly; from the base and twisting his fingers around the head of my cock.

“Please…please…”

I heard him hum and letting out a pleased giggle when he grabbed my thighs and gently turned me around on my stomach. I kissed the mattress as soon as I landed flat on my face again. Oh to feel the familiar warmth of my own breath against the white sheets underneath me.

Armie lifted my butt in the air and when he did, I felt that familiar, spine chilling pleasure run through my system. Fuck, he’s gonna pull them out now. How long am I gonna last after that?

“You ready Tim?” He asked while letting the tips of his fingers caress the back of my thighs and then moving them up, towards my butt and hips…that made me arch my back and basically push my hole towards him. He’s enjoying the view.

“Mhm…”

I breathed out and bit onto the sheet.

“I’m pulling them out. I’ll go slow…”

I nodded against the mattress, I hope he saw that. Just pull them out, rip them out of my body and fuck me. Fuck, I wanted to scream for him to just do it in one hand movement and push himself inside and fuck me until I go numb down there.

I felt him touching the handle and pulling one bead, the biggest one, out.

“Ah! Sh-shit…” I moaned loudly, arching my back into his touch.

On the next one, I twitched.

“Jee-esus…”

Then one after that one.

“Fuck, oh my Go-…fuck!” I bit into the sheet and pulled it towards me. I’m twisting my hips now. I can’t move, I’m losing function.

My eyes rolled at the back of my head after every single bead he pulled out of me.

He pulled the next one and those were the big ones, no more of them. All that were left were the small ones and he pulled them out all together in couple of seconds, one by one.

I was empty, my hole was opened but a part of my body was orgasming, maybe my prostate because when he pulled everything out, my legs gave out and I flopped on the bed, I gave up. I’m hyperventilating, I’m drooling, I can’t feel my legs. Armie touched my butt but I moaned out loudly, I’m way too sensitive for anyone to touch me now. I can’t stop shivering. Some incoherent noise is coming out of my mouth, some curse words, his name, anything…that was intense. The beads were keeping me on edge the entire night long and the final few pull outs brushed against my prostate again and made me lose my fucking mind. The beads were there to stimulate my prostate. I don’t know if he had planned this but this is how I got my first ever prostate orgasm come to life. I know for a fact that he’s never felt it before, I doubt he dated someone as sick as me to actually finger him and stimulate his prostate in the old fashioned way. I want him to experience this extraordinary feeling, to feel this type of pleasure capture his entire being, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. The joy of shivering and losing breath, losing my mind, losing the function in my legs, the over-sensitivity…I want to do this to him as well.

“Tim…you’re…having an orgasm…” His words were just scattered around the place.

It took me a minute or two to stop shaking and trembling before I could answer him.

“Yeah…” I breathed out and licked my lips.

“That was the sexiest thing I have ever seen, Tim…” He breathed out and bent down next to my face and kissed me on the lips. How am I ever gonna continue after this? This was everything…my God…

“Fuck…I’ve never…before…” I gasped when he moved away from me.

“I know, babe, I know.”

He kisses me again and then kisses my cheek. Armie goes back into his original pose, behind me.

“Tell me when you want to continue.” He said.

“Mhm, gimme a second.” I breathed out.

“Of course.”

My stomach was twitching. So was my cock. I was leaking, I don’t know when or how much but I felt the warm liquid between my legs.

Armie did nothing but caress my skin, running his big and strong fingers across my hips and my bones, my back and between my shoulder blades. It was really nice. But I can’t give up just yet, I have to show him the real me. He needs to know who I am and what I am into.

“Okay…I’m ready…go…” I breathed out, gathering the energy to continue.

I waited for him to help me lift my butt in the air so that he could just slide inside me, no preparation, well…not the old one. The best part about using sex toys to keep me stimulated and turned on, is the fact that there is no need for fingering before entering me.

But to my surprise, Armie turned me on my back again and pulled me towards him so that my head wasn’t hanging off the side of the bed. For some unknown reason I grinned knowing how close he was to my face. I heard him smile as well.

“I love you so much…” He whispered against my lips and pecked it. I didn’t see it coming, I was late to the party. We’re emotional and sweet at this very moment, it was insane.

“I love you too. Show me how much you love me, Armie. Fuck me now.” I meant every word of it, he’s silent.

I love when I’m bossy and when he’s serious, when he stiffens so close to my face.

Armie didn’t need to be told twice. He removed himself from me and immediately grabbed my calves and put my legs on his shoulders. I breathed out, out of sheer surprise, I laughed softly at that. Few seconds later, I heard him open the bottle of lube, squeeze some out and coated his hard cock with it. What a fucking jerk, he knows how much I love that sound and how much I love watching him touching himself. He’s the cruelest man alive!

Not a moment later, Armie entered me in one long go. Absolutely no pain, no pressure, I was already opened and ready for him. After what I’ve just experienced, this night can only go towards the best night ever.

I felt so fulfilled, in every way possible; emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually.

The fact that I couldn’t move or touch anything or see, just made it all better. Here I am, my life is in his hands, he’s handling that responsibility so well, he should be proud of himself that he found a person that trusts him this much like I do.

Armie’s holding my ankles in the air as he’s thrusting inside me with everything he’s got. I felt him swell up inside me the second the entered me. He grunted loudly when he made the first move. We continued the rhythm that was just perfect for the both of us. I am so lucky! I have everything with him by my side. Armie really knows how to please a person in every way meaning of that word. He’s incredible and I worship him so fucking much. What he’s giving to me…I wouldn’t wish for anyone else to be in my place, nor for anyone else to be in his place. Just him. Just me. He’s the ultimate perfect man and he’s all mine.

I know exactly how to repay him for this and I know exactly how to show him how much I love him for showing me all these new things, and for taking me on this adventure with him.

He’s not stopping, he’s thrusting faster and faster deep, very deep inside me, reaching the places I thought he’s already been to but not really. After my prostate orgasm, or multiple orgasms, my insides are so sensitive and still a bit under the influence of the anal beads, and now I have him inside me, I have a full person inside me. The best of both worlds, the best of everything.

“Come on Armie! Give it to me!” Now it’s my time to shine.

He’s giving it to me. Hard. I want more, I want it harder.

“Fuck me! Oh, fuck me hard…come on…fuck me!” I grunted through my teeth, feeling my cheeks boil.

Where have I pulled this one out of my head?

“Fuck me like how you know best, come on!”

I hope he goes on and fucks me angry only because of the fact that he can’t burry himself deeper inside me than he already is.

He lets go of my ankles and flops right on top of me. I’m out of breath as soon as I felt his hairy chest on my bare skin. His entire weight is crushing me, a little boy, the skinny boy. I can feel his face in front of mine, his arms around my head. He’s slamming harder and harder, I couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“Ah!” I screamed loudly, into his face.

His hips and his pelvis were the perfect weapon to kill me and destroy my insides. It’s was incredible. I felt every millimeter of him thrusting so hard and so fast inside of me. I felt my body moving off the bed with each passing second of his literally slamming and tearing my hole apart.

“Fuuuck…Armie!”

He shushes me with his tongue pushing down my throat. It caught me by surprise because I almost choked on it. Besides his saliva, I also felt the bits of sweats falling from his forehead onto my face.

Armie then removed himself from me and I can breathe again, a lot better, but I miss being chocked. He never pulls out of me, he only pulled me by my thighs towards him so as not to hit the floor. He continues fucking my tight hole, spreading my legs further apart.

“Choke me! Armie! Choke me!” I grunted through my teeth, feeling my eyes going wet.

And he does what I asked him to. Not a second later, his hand is already around my neck and squeezing my throat. And he’s not holding back. The grip around my neck is getting tighter and tighter with each passing second, and he’s not being gentle with me on the other end either.

“Tim…fuck…” He grunted in midair.

I won’t be able to walk tomorrow, for sure. I did ask if I will be needing wheelchair after we finish here. All I know is that we’re on the right path to it.

Is it sick that I wished I was bleeding, and that I wished for him to fuck my hole and unable me to sit down, walk or do the necessary things with my body?

Soon, he lets go of my neck and pulls out. I hissed and made a sobbing sound. I heard him breathe out.

“Come on…get up…” His voice was shaky when he embraced me and made me kneel on the bed, waiting for his next move. My knees were shivering still. I’m taking short and easy breaths, I tried swallowing, it hurts, good.

“I want you to ride me...” He breathed out against my sweaty temple, holding onto my hips.

Oh how crazy! I want to ride you too!

I heard and felt the mattress move, he probably lied down or sat down. His hands held onto my tied up arms and he told me to spread my knees. I did and he adjusted better so I’d sit down directly onto his crotch. And that’s exactly what happened. After that, Armie tugged onto the rope on my chest and pulled me down on top of him. Our chests were glued together yet again; his hairy, my bare and full of knots. I felt his hot breath hitting my face as he was trying to slide his cock inside me.

I grinned and bit my lip, then I licked his chin and bit it eventually.

A second later, he was inside of me again and Armie embraced me on top of him; our hands were intertwined behind on my back, we were holding onto each other on the back, while he was pushing upwards inside my hole on one end, and moaning loudly on the other end, devouring my mouth from time to time. I don’t think we’ve ever been this close.

“Oh! Oh! Fuck! Armie!” I grunted again and bit onto my lips. That’s when I realized that my bun fell apart and my hair was sprung free on my sweaty forehead. I felt his hand remove the curls from my forehead and he lifted himself up a bit to kiss my skin there.

Armie’s slowly and brutally moving inside me. I feel his muscles contract and relax underneath me. His sweaty face is so close to mine, I can smell him very well. I missed his scent. He’s gonna kill me if he goes on like this.

“Armie…I’m close…” It felt like I was walking through fire. We were both sweating and letting our hot breaths. My skin was stuck to his and as he was moving me on top of him, the friction made the ropes basically burn into both of our skins. It burned upstairs, it burned downstairs, my face was burning and it was boiling hot. 

The next thing I felt was Armie’s teeth digging into my skin and he was sucking the right side of my neck. Yes, please, leave a mark, please! Mark me, I want everyone to see whom I belong to.

“Oh, Armie…yes, just like that! Mark me!” I breathed against his forehead which was so close to my lips.

He took his time with devouring my skin, sending shivers down my spine and my legs. I loved the scenario: him fucking me on one end, and him putting his signature mark on the other side.

The biggest surprise struck as both when I gasped out loud and Armie had to remove me from himself only to find out I was ejaculating between us. What the hell? I didn’t feel it at all. I felt I was close every since my prostate orgasm but this…

My cock was just lazily lying on his stomach and yet I felt when my semen came out, sticking to both of our skins. I came untouched once again. That’s three times by now.

“Jesus fucking Christ Tim! You’re so beautiful! You’re so sexy like this! My God!” He crushed out lips together and kissed me hard, until I was well aware that our lips were bleeding once again. This time, I think it was my lip that got ripped opened.

All I could do is try and swallow what was being given to me.

For another minute or so he continued fucking me upwards, while kissing and biting onto my chin and lips. He stopped at one point because I knew he was close.

But then the picked up the pace and I swear, I thought I was bleeding of how fast he was thrusting inside me. Literally, burning the skin, burning my hole, I’m losing my mind. I finally feel exhausting overtaking my body.

I moaned his name out loud and shoved my head into his neck and let him take me.

After the fast fucking, he went back to slow and we both knew he’s gonna fill me up pretty soon.

“Tim!” He grunted against my ear when I felt him spill his semen inside of me.

“Oh…” I gasped when he was done. God, I felt so full.

He took my head from his neck and kissed me again, this time, gently and slowly. My head was way too heavy for me to hold it upwards so I just let it fall down.

Armie pulled out after some time. I had a bigger fight with myself in keeping my eyes opened and mind clear, but it was no use.

He then removed me from himself and moved away from the crime scene where I was lying almost lifeless on my back and filled with his semen.

Armie gently turned me around on my stomach and lifted my butt in the air again. He wants to see it. I think I smiled but I’m not sure, my mind is blank right now.

But I’m still not done with him, I want him to see the sickest part of me.

“Untie my arms right now!” I tried yelling at him but I did my best. My voice was broken and lost, my throat hurts, just like every other part of my body.

Armie rushed behind me again and untied the knot in five seconds. They were cramping and filled with another layer of rope burns.

I’m putting on a show just for him.

I shook my hands to get some blood flow and then did the unthinkable. None of us saw this one coming. Still, I had no idea where he was so I just moved my head to the left. He’s behind me, he’s gonna see me either way. With my left hand, I caressed my left butt cheek, up and down gently, trying to tease him until I found my hole and massaged the first ring of muscles. It made me moan and shiver. Then I pushed one finger inside my hole and moved it inside and outside, feeling the over-sensation overpower my body. I took it out after some time, after Armie had gasped couple of times, and put it in my mouth where I enjoyed myself torturing him with the image of me sucking my finger and licking his cum off my digit. I’ve never felt so fucking sick in my entire life. Never! I would only do this for him. To reach this stage of sickness…only for him.

“Fucking hell Tim!” He breathed out and before I knew what was happening, Armie pushed his cock back inside me and collapsed on top of me. Did not see that one coming one bit. I lied back down flat onto the mattress. I couldn’t believe it, the man of his size on top of me…He pushed me so hard, he’s gonna have the imprint of my rope burns left on his chest.

“Armie…God…fuck…” I sobbed when he did this, as loud as I could. I am so fucking exhausted.

“Tim…that was the most…I love you, I love you so fucking much! I can’t believe you’re doing this for me…for us. I am so fucking lucky!” I heard him smile as he was repeating this, showering me with praise, adoration and tiny pecks all over my sweaty face.

“Hm…love you too Armie. And I think I’m the one who’s lucky here.” I breathed out and reached to kiss him; he gives me what I am asking for.

“Let’s call it even then.” He said and I nodded.

We laughed a bit and few seconds later, he pulled out of me but still stayed on top of my exhausted body. I couldn’t believe we were done. In times like these ones, I wished for either the sex to last longer or the afterglow. I’m fine like this. I can live like this forever. My eyes are closing, my mind is still a bit foggy but I didn’t want to sleep. This might be the first time I am craving for this moment to last forever, it doesn’t matter how exhausted I was feeling. This is more important than sleeping. I’ll sleep when I die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the last 4000 words in just a few hours, i literally have no idea where i pulled all of these words out. Once again, i surprised myself with yet another chapter.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	45. His guardian (Armie's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie's thinking during the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! I'm in a really good mood today, it's Easter here so i've been writing this chapter the entire day and i couldn't wait to post it. The next one is coming soon. Enjoy this one, hope you'll like it and as always let me know your thoughts in the comments!  
> Stay safe and please take care!❤️

“Tim…are you awake?”

I stared out into the balcony window as I asked him, it was dark outside, possibly midnight or something close to it, only street lamps were providing me with some light inside the room. I love how I lose sense of time and place when I’m with him. Now, he’s lying underneath me, he doesn’t seem to be bothered by me almost suffocating him with my weight. He’s not answering me, maybe he’s thinking. Or maybe he’s asleep and is way too off to function. The back of his head is turned towards me, but it’s not blocking my view. I can smell him, the scent is blocking my nostrils, I had to move away from him, or I’d do more damage to his already exhausted body. I reposition myself and was lying next to him on my stomach, facing him. He was still wearing the blind fold and looked very much lost inside his own dreamland. Wonder if he’s dreaming about me. He’s still wearing the harness I made for him, and he’s still looking very beautiful as when I met him the first time.

After tonight, he will get anything he asks for. He’s already doing so much for me, more than I could ask for. He’s been revealing himself to me for the past couple of days. I am finally seeing the real Tim.

It’s quiet in the room. Zero sounds, I can hear and feel him breathe into my face next me, but other than that, nothing. When I think about the sounds and the atmosphere than were fulfilling this very room only maybe half an hour ago, it comes as a bit shocking that this is the same place, and that this is the same person that was making those delicious and erotic sounds.

Even to this day, he finds ways to shock me which throws me off my track for good. How is this the same kid I met at the bakery, how is this the same kid I used to pick up from school and take all over city, how is this the same kid that screamed at me a week ago about getting my shit together…wait, no, he’s not a kid anymore, he’s never been a kid, I just love to tease him like that. He’s a young man, a very beautiful and wise young man.

I love him so much it hurts. I want him all the time and that aches physically, and those hotspots are all over my body, inside and outside, and there is literally nothing I can do to make it stop. No matter how close we are, whether we’re connected or just lying like this, my body aches for him, I must have him close all the time. I’d look at him and there’s this instant connection I feel towards him, there’s this urge inside me that screams so loudly, it makes me go blind and deaf immediately, the urge to save him, the urge to protect him and shelter him, the urge to keep him all to myself, as close as possible. The urge to be his guardian.

He’s already deep underneath my skin and there is no cure, there is no going back. I will never be able to remove him from my life, he’s in it, deep enough and hard enough for me to lose my mind just a little bit every time I’m with him. And I’m with him all the time and still…it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. I still want more. But he’s giving me his all, he’s giving me his entire being and I’m selfish and needy, and I need him to do better.

There is nothing he won’t do for me, or say no to me on whatever I suggest. And I hate myself for it because I know how much he loves me, and I know how much he wants to please me, but…is he ruining himself in the process?

My thoughts got interrupted by him licking his lips and then relaxing them. He wants to wake up. I gently and cautiously remove the blind fold and throw it on the floor behind him. He’d be scared if he were to open up his eyes and see darkness. I love staring at his face when he’s sleeping. He looks so relaxed and satisfied. Now, I may have gone a little too far and bit his lip and let the blood flow. It has already dried off. He’s gonna carry this scar of this night for couple of days that were yet to come.

I want to see him fully waken up and alive, functioning and breathing. I lightly blow into his face, the most humane way of waking someone up. He twitches his eyes and his nose. I do it again, he’s so cute, it makes me giggle.

“Tim?” I whisper his name and make another blow.

He twitches his face some more, squeezes it and then I can see him blinking, but he’s not looking at me.

“Hm…what?” He yawned into the mattress. Is he avoiding to yawn at my face because his breath stinks? Mine stinks as well, maybe even worse.

“Oh, you fell asleep baby.” I said and removed a lock of hair from his cheek and put it behind his ear.

He’s blinking and looking down. His lips are puffy and swollen.

I love how during sex, every part of a person’s body takes something from the pleasure they experience. On Tim, it was visible like day; his lips and cheeks get puffy and swollen, and his skin starts glowing, and his smell changes, he smells freshy fucked, and not only that, he looks freshy fucked as well, every single time.

“I did? I tried not to but…”

“It’s okay. You deserve the rest.”

I come close and kiss his nose. We’re silent, he’s still not looking at me.

“How was I?” Tim looked up at me for the first time since I woke him up.

I hate when he asks this. I don’t know if he’s playing coy and teasing me, or if he’s really unaware of himself and what he does to me while we’re having sex.

“Perfect and never ask me that again, you got it?” I said and bopped his nose. He chuckled.

“I can’t be perfect all the time, Armie. There must be something missing.” He breathed out and smiled.

He’s right. And wrong.

“Actually yes, there is.” I said looking at him.

“Tell me.”

“You couldn’t see yourself and how beautiful you looked in my arms.”

He blushed. He bit his puffy lower lip.

“Noted, I won’t ask again.” He smiled and reached out and touched my lips with his index finger. This is the same finger he put inside him and moved it right in front of my very eyes. The images are just coming back to me. He then grabbed some cum and sucked it between his beautiful and luscious pink lips. I need to control myself, I can’t attack him again.

When he ran his finger couple of times, I opened my mouth and bit the finger gently, as a joke. He giggled and continued to touch my lips. Guess he’s very fond of them.

“Come on…let’s get you untied…” I said as I was getting up.

It was indeed a very weird feeling. I’ve been lying for maybe an hour now, I have no idea how long. My muscles and bones hurt, my hips hurt, my arms and legs as well. I think we both suffered tonight but in a good way. I know how much he loves sex injuries and sex pain. So do I. It brings such joy and pleasure to him that I was totally unable to run away from it. I helped him get up on his knees. He was grunting and giggling the entire time. We’re gonna go stiff soon if we keep this up.

Tim still wore the harness I made for him. It pained me to take it off of him because he looked so fucking beautiful in it. It was like this rope was made exclusively for his skin and for his body. I looked down at his arms and saw that there were rope burns. He loved it, I loved it.

I began untying him gently. I didn’t even have to tell him to spread his arms, he just did it. I loosened up the front and all that were left were knots.

“There you go…” I told him after the front was loosened.

He was following me with his eyes, I felt them that me. When I popped back up at him, he smiled. I smiled back.

“Hi…” I whispered softly.

He looked over at his right and was instantly blinded by the bathroom light that was on the entire night long, I forgot about that one, it wasn’t too bright.

“Hi…ugh…the light.” He closed his eyes and rubbed them.

“Yeah….” My fault, I put a blind fold over his eyes and left the entire room in complete darkness. The only source of light was coming from the big balcony window and bathroom light.

“I need a second.” He breathed out.

“Sure. I’ll just…untie this.”

I said and kneeled behind him and began untying the rest. Soon, he was free. His beautiful white and soft skin was covered in rope burns. Basically, he was still wearing a harness out of those burns.

“There. You’re free…”

“Do I have bruises? I’m too tired to look down.” He giggled.

“Yeah, you do.”

“A lot?”

“Um…yeah, you could say that.” I breathed out.

“Good…”

He smiled and I turned to him. But before I could even throw the rope away, his arms were already around my neck and he pressed his lips against mine. I love when he kisses me so spontaneously, and with those puffy lips. I could smell everything we did in the last two days, it was insane. Tim was salty and sweet, fresh and warm, he had a little crust on his lip, and I still carry mine with such pride.

I parted away from him and kissed his forehead; it was salty and sweaty. It’s time to rinse it all. Such a shame, if I were to be asked, I’d keep him dirty like this forever.

When I took a good look at his chest, neck and face, that’s when a big ass dark blue, purple hickey slapped my eyes. It was so big, so visible, it was on the right side of his neck. Not even a sweater over it would cover the entire bruise, only a very tight turtleneck, but I have never seen him in one of those things. I touched it. That’s my mark. He’s wearing something of mine on his skin. He’s mine. I bent down and kissed it anyway. I’m not sure he remembers when I marked him, he was pretty hyped and already reaching a different state of his mindset.

I got off the bed and began scoping him in my arms.

“Now…let’s get you into shower.” I breathed out against his hair as I was adjusting his body in my arms.

“No, no, no. Put me down. Put me down now!” He yelped and was kicking my back with his tiny fists.

What is he doing?

“Why?” I frowned.

I turned around and put him down on the bed like I found him. Tim pulls me by his hands and I kneel in front of him on the bed.

“I don’t want to shower. I don’t want us to get cleaned this weekend, okay?” He said, touching my chest.

I don’t want that either. Is he reading my mind? How does he do it?

“Um…”

“No showering, no hair wash, we won’t brush our teeth, comb our hair, use deodorant, use parfum or whatever. Nothing, you hear me? I want this to be just…us…the dirtier the better.” Word after word, he’s pointing his finger at my chest and I’m just there listening to him.

I nod. I do hear him. And I do agree with it.

“If we clean, or cover our bodies with other smells…then we’ll wash away everything we’ve done in the past two days. And I don’t want that. Since we’re digging deep and finding ourselves together…let us be like this.” He finally looks up at me and smiles.

I think he’s being cautious and is afraid I’ll reject him, but I would never do that. I’m so weak when it comes to him, I’ll say yes to everything.

“Fair enough. I’m on board.” I said and kissed his forehead again.

I feel his face relaxing, he’s relieved I said yes to this great idea.

“Good…now…I’ll just go to the bathroom and then we can sleep.” He said and was already on his way off the bed.

“You got it.”

I watch him walk into the bathroom and yet again, he grunts and covers his face with his hands. He’s adorable. He’ll need time to get use to the light.

While he’s in there, I take a chance and remove other stuff we don’t need off the bed. I fluff the pillows and open a window by just a little bit so some cold air would come in.

My phone was sitting next to his. I turned it on and realized I had a message from his brother, Victor. He sent me a picture of the two of them and Archie. They’re getting along just fine, and Archie’s a really great pup to take care of. It warms my heart. I had couple of emails from my co-workers, asking me to meet up with them and hang out and all that. I’ll reply later. Not really in the mood of setting up some meetings while I’m locked up in here with him. There were few people with late replies to my Christmas wishes. I had a missed call and a message from my brother, Ben, asking me where am I gonna go for the New Year’s Eve. I was totally thrown off by everything we’ve been doing in the past couple of days, I forgot that the New Year was just around the corner, in two, three days. We haven’t discussed where are we gonna celebrate it, but I’m hoping that means that we’re gonna be together. I don’t really care where we’ll go, just as long as it’s with him. And with him, I’d settle for a lazy evening on a couch, watching some old movies and eating snacks. That’s it, that’s all I want. If he wants it too, great. If he wasn’t something bigger and better, I’ll make sure he gets it.

It was 2 am when I was done going through the notifications.

Tim came out a minute later. He looked wrecked; pale skin, red rope burns all over his chest and his hands, a crust on his lips, a hickey on his neck, greasy hair, puffy lips, tired eyes…all in all, he looked perfect, just like I wanted him to look after we finish the hotel adventure. He turned the light off in the bathroom and jumped right into bed, I joined him after I put my phone down.

He asked what was the time, I told him. He snuggled closer to me, pushing his skinny and naked body against mine, trying to melt or morph into me. He was already half asleep when I began caressing his back underneath the blanket, and afterwards, touching his hair and kissing his forehead. He exhaled and snuggled closer to my neck. If he goes to sleep now, there is no telling when he’ll wake up. He’s the type to sleep several times a night, he just took a short nap, and now he’s going back to sleep. Guess we’ll see each other in the morning.

“Armie?” He murmured my name against my neck. I looked down at him.

“Hm?”

“Can I try it too?” He said, tapping on my chest.

I smiled, without him knowing about it.

“Try what?” I’m teasing him.

“This…what you’re doing to me…” He’s choosing his words rather carefully.

“You want to tie me up?”

“I do.”

Tim looked up at me. He knows I won’t say no to him.

“Can I?” He blinks the few times. I see him clearly with the only source of light being the street lamp shining through the balcony window.

“Of course.” I said and smiled.

“Really?”

“Of course.”

Tim had a beautiful widened smile.

“Yes! Okay…I’m logging off now. Good night.” He snuggled closer, kissed me on the lips and was already off.

“Good night.” I breathed out and kissed his forehead again.

I stayed silence for a while, staring out into the darkness, frozen for some reason.

I remember yawning deeply. Then I just cuddled next to his naked body and closed my eyes.

But I couldn’t sleep.

I tried closing my eyes and making myself dream, but I couldn’t. It must’ve been going on for half an hour, maybe longer, I could never tell when I’m drifting off to sleep. It was real torture. I felt like I was tired and couldn’t bring myself to sleep. I wanted to, I really did, it was a long day and an even longer night. Some rest wouldn’t harm me.

For some reason, I was wide awake. I wasn’t having a rush of thoughts where I couldn’t stop thinking about something, I just couldn’t seem to sleep. Tim, on the other hand, was dead to the world, catatonic. Him cuddled up inside my arms didn’t help one bit. I wanted to move and change the pose, but I was worried I’d wake him up. And after couple of minutes, I just gave it a shot and moved away from him only by a bit. He’s not responding. I moved again, still nothing. And when I pulled away from him completely, when I moved his head away from my chest and put it on the pillow next to him…still nothing. He’s dead. Good. I can get up now. I made the bed damp and accidentally dropped my phone onto the ground as I was getting up, and still, zero reactions from Tim. It was 02:48 am. Seems legit. I looked for my dirty boxers on the floor, then I remembered they were in the bathroom where he took them off of me and threw them there. I made a quick run and found them lying on the floor, close to the bath tub, the one we didn’t use at all, and probably won’t at all.

I put them on and went back into the bedroom. Tim was sleeping on his side, facing the balcony, it made me smile, and it was warming my heart very much. That’s when I found all the toys we’ve played with on the floor. I took them into the bathroom and washed them all with soap and then disinfected them all. Washed them again with soap and water and let them dry on the sink. Hygiene is at upmost importance here.

After I was done there, I went back into the bedroom. On the little night stand next to his head I found the pack of cigarettes. I took them with me and sat in the big chair in the corner of the room, just next to the balcony door, looking at him. I light one cigarette up and just continued sitting there and watching him sleep, guarding over him.

We’ve only ate three times here, it was good, I hope he’s had fun. This morning, while he was still asleep, I extended our stay here until Monday evening. We still had the entire Sunday and half a Monday to make the best use of. I also requested no disturbance while we’re here. No one of the staff would come in or clean the place, because we couldn’t know whether we’ll be asleep or not, whether we’ll be having sex or not, whether we’ll be decent or not. They followed my request, I appreciate it very much. I tend to take full control over various of situations, and I like that people respect my wishes.

I am now guarding over him. He’s breathing lightly and slowly. If there’s anyone who deserves an unconditional rest, it’s this little dude in front of me. Every time he sleeps after sex and sleeps good, I know my job is done and that he’s happy. Which is basically every time after sex. I must be doing something right.

Yesterday, it was his birthday, and my God…a lot of things went down, so much has already happened and we still had a day and a half here. It’s insane how slow the time flows when I’m with him. Other times, it just rushes next to us, we don’t even know what got to us.

He asked to try it as well. Of course I said yes, I’ve been waiting and wanting for him to ask me that. I didn’t want to attack and be the one to ask him if he’s willing to. First, I needed to make sure he’s comfortable with what I’m doing to his body, so that he could see it and do the same thing to me. He first needed to see that I’m all for caution and protection, gentleness and safety. Nothing more. If he’s okay with what I’m putting him through, then I don’t see why couldn’t he do the same for me. The entire weekend was planed ahead for him to open up. I’m not a priority here, he is. This was his birthday gift, all of this, it was for him. My main goal was to keep him safe and to satisfy him into…well, this stage right here.

I put out a cigarette and took the other one out.

When I flicked the lighter, Tim changed his pose and is now sleeping on his back. Maybe the smoke bothers him.

He soon changes the pose again, and again, until he’s back sleeping on his side just like I left him. He’s hugging my pillow. My scent there keeps him safe. He changes again, until I realized that he’s just spreading his naked body all over the place, loving the space he’s got to expand. He breathes out and grunts, he coughs a little, murmurs something, and I’m just sitting here, watching him and enjoying my smoke. Watching Tim’s skinny and bruised little body spreading inside of a big bed, brings more joy to me than anything. He is beyond perfect and I can’t believe he’s all mine. He could be anywhere else with anyone else, some younger girl, or a guy, at his or their place, but no…he chose me and this hotel room. It wasn’t like he had any choice, I’m truly the lucky one here. So fucking lucky.

When he’s done stretching, he lifts up his head and calls for me, with his back turned towards where I was sitting and smoking.

“Armie?” He breathes out. The raspy voice is like music to my ears.

“Behind you Tim.” I said and took another smoke.

He slowly turns around, still decorated and dirty. He’s perfect.

“What are you doing there?” He asks, rubbing his eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“You okay?”

I nodded.

“Come here…” He breathes out and I’m so fucking weak for this kid that I immediately stop everything and run to him.

I put the cigarette out and remove my boxers. Tim turned his back to me when I lied behind him.

“Ah…agh…” He murmurs against the pillow.

“You okay Tim?” I ask him, kinda panicking. I can’t help it.

He turns on his back again, his eyes are closed and twitching.

“Yeah…just…my tummy hurts.”

“Oh…” I wish I could take away your pain Tim, I really do.

“Your baby is kicking like crazy in there…” He breathes out and smiles.

I couldn’t help but laugh. We did talk about this. I too am surprised how he still isn’t knocked up after everything we did. But him saying that _my_ baby is kicking inside…he’s gonna kill me for sure.

“What a naughty kid we’re gonna raise, huh?” I joked.

“Wonder where he…or she…got it from.” He smirked with his eyes still closed.

“Oh…you’re the one to wonder…”

We giggle and I almost lost it when he smiled like that.

“Where does it hurt? Can I do something to make it better?” I asked him.

“Here…give me your hand.”

He placed it where he’s feeling the ache. His skin is soft and warm, and my hand is rough and cold.

“It’s probably just gas.” He said.

And when he did, he shocked himself. Because then he opened his eyes and even in the darkness, I could feel the heat evaporating from his cheeks.

“I can’t believe I said that out loud in front of you. God, you must think I’m not as sexy as I used to be.” He breathed out, already regretting what he said.

I think I fell in love with him all over again.

“Bullshit. I think you’re even sexier now that you’re so opened about it.”

I tried soothing him, rubbing his tummy, he’s still very much embarrassed by his statement.

“Anyway, it’s nothing new. It’s nothing strange. There isn’t a person out there that isn’t struggling with what you’re struggling now.” I said.

“I know but still…”

“If it’ll make you feel better, just…let it all out.” I breathed out and laughed with myself.

“I can’t do that in front of you.” He looked at me.

“Why not?”

I don’t see the problem. It’s normal. And considering what I’ve seen slide outside that very hole, and where I stuck my tongue in…it’s just air that it’s bugging him.

“Just…it’s…I don’t know…but if I feel the need, I’ll just run to the bathroom.” He said.

“Suit yourself.”

We had a nice laugh about it but soon, he turned his back to me and held my hand over his tummy where he said it hurts.

He went back to sleep maybe 15 minutes later. I kept asking him if he’s still in pain, he said it’s slowly fading away. Once I made sure he was asleep, for the third time that night, I also followed him on it.

And in the morning, after breakfast, I found myself tied up and gagged at his mercy. I was literally sobbing as he was straddling my hips and sucking me off with his back turned to me. The little cunt new exactly how to destroy me. He made sure he arched his back good while ruining me on the other end. Tears were sliding down my face how much I wanted to touch him. It was useless. Like I said, he’s deep inside my skin and I’m underneath his spell, there is no going back, only forward, and I couldn’t fucking wait to see what’s around the corner for the two of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is someone an Orthodox Christian among my readers, just wishing you all a Happy Easter!  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	46. Falling apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's now in charge.  
> Trigger warning: something close to asphyxiation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy babes!! Three days, i hope i'm doing good, because i just finished writing it and honestly, i don't even know where i dug out there thoughts and scenes in my head. You'll see what i'm talking about. I put a trigger warning just in case. It's nothing serious but i don't know if someone is gonna react badly to it. Anyway, i hope your week is going fine, stay safe and take care of yourselves! Hope you'll like it, enjoy this chapter and let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️

Breakfast came in late. Really late. It was close to 1 pm when Armie ordered room service. I was surprised they still made it even though it was done hours ago. Guess that’s what happens when you have someone like him in your life; he can ask for anything and he’ll get anything. Was it his good looks and charms, or was it because he looks very bossy and dominant to anyone? He said he ordered it early in the morning, but he waited for me to wake up so that he can call again and let them know they can make it for us. Either way, it was delicious and exactly what I needed.

After we were done, we continued our lazy weekend, this time, still not dressed and not actually lying where we should be. He was lying down facing the door, and I was on the opposite side, facing the balcony. I put my feet on his chest while he was on his phone. We were both on our phones, scrolling through apps. I had so many Christmas and birthday wishes I never replied so now was the perfect time to do it. I wasn’t bored. It felt like an amazing trip where we were away from everybody else, from the rest of the world. I love when we’re silent and we’re dealing with our own stuff separately, but in the same time, we’re together. He has nothing to hide, I have nothing to hide. That’s why he’d always tell me when he’d stumble upon something funny on his phone. He told me he wanted to meet up with his colleagues after we leave this love nest, how he was planning on going to the gym again, how he hates that the school is about to start in a few weeks. And as I recall correctly, he was the one who loved going to classes and teach. I asked him why does he hate it now.

“Because of you, you idiot.” He lifted his head a little and said this.

I lifted myself on elbows and looked at him.

“Me?”

“When the school starts, I’ll be busy again. Working in the morning, sometimes until late afternoon. And you’ll start school soon as well…”

Oh yeah. School.

“We managed before, we can manage it now.” I said and lied back down again.

“True.”

And we’re back to being silent. He’s caressing my calves, slowly, with one hand and still scrolling with the other one. It was warm inside, the snow around the hotel and on the buildings across the street was giving us very bright light inside this beautiful room that I never wanted to leave.

After I was done thanking everyone for their wishes, I checked the messages I had from my family. I saw I had one message from mom, asking me when we can talk today. Before I could even start typing her that I’ll call her when I get home, Armie interrupted me.

“Hey, Tim?”

I looked up again.

“Hm?”

“There’s an engagement party on the 13th of January. One of my colleagues is getting married. Would you like to come as my date?” He asked.

Why did he look so calm? It was like nothing to him. Armie really doesn’t care who he brings, as long as he loves that individual.

I, on the other hand, was freaking out. This is going to be the first time we’ll step outside together and into the crowd of people that he knows. We’ve already crossed out my family, he’s met them, they love him. Let’s move on.

“Wha-?” I stuttered.

“I just got the invitation. He asked me to respond to it, he said that the real one was already sent to me and it’s in the mailbox. I told him I’m not home so he sent me here.”

He bent over and showed me the message. I read it. It was a rather closed cocktail party. Plus ones included.

“So? Would you like to join me?” He asked me as I handed him his phone back.

“As your…” I smiled.

“As my partner.”

“Really?” Are my eyes shining?

“It’s just a party, nothing…”

I shook my head.

“No, I mean…I’m coming as your partner?”

“What else, you idiot?” He smiled widely and winked at me.

I threw a pillow at him and straddled him within couple of seconds. He didn’t even have the time to remove the pillow from his head before he came face to face with me.

“Is that a yes?” He asked.

I kissed him.

“Hell yeah, it’s a yes!” I raised my voice.

I kissed him again and slapped him gently on the cheek. I sat back up on his stomach.

“How’s my baby?” He asked, eying my tummy and running both of his thumbs across it, still holding his phone.

I smiled at that.

“Calm, relaxed…” I said, softly.

“Let me…come here…” He embraced my hips with his one arm and began kissing my tummy. I love when his lips find their way anywhere on my skin.

My hands are inside his hair. My fingers were caressing his sweaty hair while he’s still placing gentle and soft kisses on my skin. Giving love to our child.

I have him now, and we had a deal, now it’s my time to shine.

“Put the phone down, lie on the pillows.” I said in a changed tone, almost unrecognizable even to me, and stood up, on my way to the bathroom.

Armie looked at me.

“We talked about it last night.” I said and was already gone.

“Yes, I remember. I’m on it.”

I walked inside the bathroom. There were still ropes hanging from the bed post, I can use that, I can’t use handcuffs because it can damage the wood. I don’t wanna use the paddle unless he uses it on me first, I don’t know the force I’m allowed to use on it. No way in hell am I putting the butt plug and anal beads inside him, I wouldn’t even know how to do it, even though it’s the easiest thing in the world. The cock ring…I don’t want to torture him like that just yet. To make something on him out of ropes…I don’t have that much practice. I decided on the ropes that were already hanging in the bedroom and the ball gag he recently used on me.

He’s looking my way once I got out from the bathroom, there’s a nervous smile on his face, the same one he nurtured the night I took his virginity. We’re both nervous, there is no escaping that part. His eyes are focused on what I had in my hands. His eyebrows rise up and there’s sort of a smirk on his face. I am scared, terrified.

I climb back on the bed and straddle his hips again, his hands fly straight to my thighs. He’s getting harder and harder underneath me. All I wanna do is touch his skin, and I start it with caressing his cheeks and later on, his chest. I’m looking at him, I love looking at him. Armie’s eyes look tired and like he’s so pleased about what is yet to come. I can’t describe them, they’re eyes filled with love. I have no doubts about that anymore; he loves me. No, he more than loves me, he worships me, adores me. I thought it was too good to be true; meeting a man like him and actually believing he’d do all of these things for me. But not anymore; Armie loves me and he’ll do anything for me. His chest is so hairy that makes me even hornier. Because he’s all man, and he’s my man, and he’s so strong and tough, and soft and gentle at the same time. He’s emotional and he’s trying to keep the poker face on. He’s so beautiful, and masculine, he has the softest voice and the roughest scream. Armie’s best of both worlds. And he’s all mine.

“What do you wanna do with me?” He asks caressing my thighs, up and down.

I lick my lips and smile at that. Then I took one string of rope that were hanging from the bed post to show him.

“Give me your hand.” I said.

Either he knew I was gonna do it and he’s happy he’s right, or he’s just really excited. Armie extends his left arm towards me to wrap it with the rope. First, I had to untie it from the bed post and tie it over his wrist so that I could tie it back again on the bed. I wrap both strings around his wrist, one over and one under it, and then I just continue pushing and pulling the strings through. I see why he’s so focused and concentrated on this work. And I see why he calls it art, because it is. Touching his skin with these ropes not only looks beautiful and sounds extremely erotic, but it makes it even sexier that he’s ready to submit to me. I am tying him up. Who would’ve thought I’d get to that stage of our relationship?

But then I stumbled upon a break and I blacked out.

“You want help?” He asks, clearly realizing where I made a mistake.

“I’ll try it on my own.” I said, taking one and two and three steps back.

“Okay, I’m right here if you need me.” Armie says and rises his hand to touch my boiling cheek.

“I can see that.”

We exchange chuckles.

“Over…over, yeah…like that. Perfect.” He’s guiding me, despite me telling him I want to do it on my own. I’ll do the next one without his help, and if he starts telling me what to do, I’ll gag him sooner.

“Good?” I asked when I tied it back to the bed post.

Armie makes a fist and pulls the ropes. He’s not going anywhere.

“You bet. Now the other one. I’ll be quiet.” He smiles.

The next one I do under thirty seconds. I remember the exact steps and his words telling me to go over and over and under and across it just where I need him…it’s done. I tied it to the bed post, he can squeeze a fist and he’s not moving.

“Perfect. You’re a natural.” He says and smiles.

“I had a great teacher.”

He winked at me.

My hand travels behind me and I grab the ball gag off the bed. Once I put this on him, there’s no more talking, there’s no more touching. I want him to suffer. I want to torture him.

“Open wide.” I said.

I think Armie’s proud that I’m following his steps.

He does as he’s told and soon, he bites the ball and I climb his chest to tie it around his head.

“Good?”

He nods.

To think of ways to torture him was easy, very easy. Armie was an easy target, anything I did made him weak. Anything I said or did or took in the bed he loved and worshiped and wanted more of it. He’d lose his mind anyway, so that’s why I didn’t even want to push it the first time. The first time I have him tied up and gaged, I decided to take the small portion of what was inside my power and just run with it. I didn’t crave to fuck him, which was odd, but not odd enough. I wanted to torture him and watch him fall apart. I wanted to make him suffer until he’s sobbing and trying to bite through the ball and swallow it. I wanted to see him come untouched. But no, I didn’t want to fuck him; that would’ve been the easiest thing I could do considering what he put me through in the past couple of days. No, I wanted for him to lose his mind and I wouldn’t be able to achieve that by just fucking him. I know his weak spots, I know when and how to make him scream or in this case…to swallow those sounds and pleasure within.

Nor did I craved getting fucked by him, it was so simple. I wanted this afternoon to be all about him, I needed him to see the real me and what I craved the most was to listen to him actually fall apart.

He loves my mouth, he loves my tongue, he loves when I suck him off, and he loves to watch me do it. Then that’s what I’ll be doing.

But first I want a slow way getting there. The slower the better.

I bent down and kissed his neck, both sides, placing open and wet kisses on his skin; making love to his neck because it’s soft and pulsing, and it smells illegally good, because I love tracing his sounds underneath my lips. Then I kiss his collarbones, he hates that and watch me if I give a shit. Lower, I kiss his chest, as much as I can reach the skin because he’s so damn hairy, kissing and licking both of his nipples to which he squirms and breathes faster. He’s sensitive, his entire body is sensitive at the moment. As much as I can, I bent down and kiss the place between his chest and his stomach. I feel Armie’s eyes on me at all times. I was basically making love to his body parts, worshiping them, making him feel special, and in return, Armie’s body responded in shivers underneath my lips.

I looked up at him and smiled. If he could, he’d smile back, but he’s trying.

And then I turned around, still straddling him. Intentionally, I arched up my ass in the air so that he can see me on the downstairs and look at my hole and my rim upstairs. I moaned when I arched my back and when I did it again and again, and once more, moaning with every thrust. Armie’s already letting out glorious sounds; too soon but I’ll take it. I’m not even doing anything, I haven’t touched him, he’s going mad just from looking at me. Wait until I start touching him, I’m afraid he’s gonna rip the ropes apart and destroy the bed post. Did he leave the deposit while I was asleep or not looking?

Guess it was time to start torturing him. I bent down ever more and kissed his cock that was lying flat and hard against his abdomen. He twitched and began shaking his entire body, Armie moaned loudly as much as he could. I kissed him again and again, then I licked the entire thing. His cock was constantly swaying up and down in front of me. And I didn’t want to waste any more time so I just took him in my hand and swallowed him whole. I heard him inhaling rather sharply. I smirked to myself. I popped him out with a loud pop and licked it. I love his meat, I love so much skin, I love the veins, I loved his size, smell and taste. Let them make love, let my tongue and his cock make love, I want to see it.

It was so quiet in the room. The only sounds were coming from him, he was breathing deeply through his nose, he’d kick the bed board a few times with his knuckles, that must’ve hurt, and me, taking my time in making love to his cock, still arching up my hole closer and closer to his face. He can see it and he can see how my body is responding by having his cock in my mouth.

I’m hungry for him, I want him to feed me. I indeed took my time with his cock, maybe now more than ever before. Kissing and licking the entire meaty organ, not leaving a millimeter not covered in my saliva or my love. Jerking it up and down and then licking it, sucking it, making love to it…it made me arch my pelvis more and more and more. It’s like I want to be taken but not really. I want this to last.

My tongue loves making love to his cock. The luckiest boy in town…that’s who I was that beautiful December afternoon. No one was this lucky to have Armie tied up at their mercy and taking their time sucking him off. There were no sounds or hands to distract me. I am the dictator now. I take as much time as I need it. I say when we move forward. Right now, I am still loving a piece of his meat in my mouth. And so does he. He’s twitching non-stop, he’s gonna damage both the wood and his knuckles, it will look like he was in a bare knuckle fight with someone. I love the sounds that he’s trying to make.

Moans are escaping my mouth more frequently. Let this moment never end, let him never come, let me myself never come. I love making love to him.

But then I stopped when I felt him leak. I swallowed it and decided to stop.

I sat up on his crotch and took his wet and hard cock in my hand. As I was tugging his cock towards me, I grabbed my own cock in the other hand and began tugging them together, in sync, while arching my pelvis on his stomach. He can’t see this, he can only feel it and imagine it, which is why he was twitching so violently in my hands. Sometimes, imagination can turn a person on more than a situation from reality. That’s why I always managed to get off quicker by reading an erotic book or erotic stories online rather than watching a porn video on my laptop. Once Armie came into my life, I dismissed everything, and I didn’t even need something to help me get off, only my imagination. And Armie’s voice later on. And Armie himself in the end.

There was something so good stirring up inside me as I was doing this. It felt like it was just me, like there wasn’t a man lying tied up behind me and this entire sex session depended on me, and it was in my hands. No, just me, and a part of him, a small…no…a very huge part of him. I loved straddling his stomach, it made me spread my legs wider because he was a big guy, listening to him struggling to breathe through his nose, and hearing his digits or his fist hitting the wooden part of the bed, trying to either touch my skin or cup me inside a ball and destroy me…all of that made me such a perfect leader today. A cruel one but I couldn’t care less.

I continued the rhythm, turning around a few times just to look at his face, all along not slowing down or letting go of his cock from my hand; if anything, I only speeded up, tugging him from the base all the way to the head, and taking my own time there. He’d look at me like he was just about to cry, but I knew that was a face of total despair and a face of a tortured person. His cock was wet and inside a warm hole just seconds ago, and now it’s out in the opened, being stroked up and down, up and down, and he leaked a minute before. He couldn’t last with anything with what I lasted up until now. Me grinding against his skin made both of us so turned on. I was moving my hole back and forth against his stomach, and moaning, getting the feeling like I was doing my best to make someone hard, but he already was and I had him so fucking hard in my hand, rubbing our cocks together. Once I started that, I turned around to look at him, biting my lips, feeling the crust, and I saw that he closed his eyes and slammed his head against the bed board. He was so close to hyperventilating.

Armie can’t handle this type of torture because only about ten minutes later after rubbing our cocks together and non-stop grinding, he began leaking in my hand again, few drops only.

“Fuck…Armie…you’re so gone for this, aren’t you?” I breathed out.

There was no response from him. I won’t let him go silent on me now. Not on my watch.

I let go of everything and turned around to face him completely. I felt so violated and superior. I tugged his hair forward to face him and slapped him hard across the face. My God, I felt so good.

“Aren’t you? Answer me!” I breathed out through my stiff teeth.

All he could do is nod his head quickly, while I was still holding his hair in my fist. I looked at his face, up and down; he was red and sweating, a vein was popping out on his forehead, his eyes were dark and tearing up. I slapped him again. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, I wrapped both of my hands around his neck. Now he’s really getting red. I’m waiting for him to knock three times against the bed board to let me know he wants this to stop. But I keep on squeezing his neck, I need both hands for that. I’m stiffing my teeth, they hurt. What is this rage coming out of me? This is not me? Or is it?

Now I understand all of this, why he feels to be so dominant in bed. It’s not just to show and dictate control but it’s someone’s life in your hands. And all of this is feeling the beauty of killing someone because you love them so much. Other than killing, it’s always about leaving a mark on someone just because you worship them and you want to own them.

I unlocked my hands a little, his color is coming back, tears are streaming down his eyes.

Why did I feel the need to make him go blue? Did I want to end him to show him just how much I love him?

I let go of his neck completely, watching my hand print marking his skin, turning from white to fader shades. He took a deep breath through his nose and let the rest of the tears just stream down his cheeks.

I bent down, with tears in my eyes, feeling so exposed and raw and naked and not good at all for almost chocking him to death…oh God…no, this is just…I love him, I really do, but why did I love seeing him looking like that underneath my hands?

I breathed out and went back down doing what I do best; helping him get off.

My eyes are now on him the entire time I’m sucking his cock. Now he’s hyperventilating and kicking the wood harder and harder, I can feel it in the air, I can feel his need to touch me, it’s so intense, it’s making me go blind.

Once I popped him out of my mouth and was only jerking him off and licking the shaft, Armie squeezed his eyes shut and slammed his head against the bed board again, kicking his legs, bending them into his knees…he’s gonna come. I glued his cock on my tongue and only tickled the hole on top of the head with my tongue, all along jerking him faster and faster.

“Come on Armie…come for me…show me…show me how much you liked it…” I’m running my lips across the head of his cock.

Soon, Armie’s stomach contracts and relaxes, and he does that several times until, with a loud and incoherent noise, he finally relieves himself on my tongue. I smile, mouth wide opened as I’m trying to catch it all. My eyes are on him the entire time, but eventually Armie gives up, slamming his head down again, eyes closed.

I suck him off and clean him dry, I swallow everything he has for me. This was my work of art, I made him come this hard. He’s never looked or sounded so fucking beautiful, and I know I always think that in my head after he comes, but this time…it’s an exception.

He tasted amazing and I enjoy myself swallowing his cum, all along, touching myself. And that sets it off even for me. I took several short and deep breathes while touching myself. I’m gonna come soon. I’m already leaking.

I straddle his chest now and I reached from behind and untied the ball gag thing. I wanna come in his mouth. But even before I can relieve myself, I untie his hands. Once I set his mouth free and one of his hands, he takes my cock in his own hand and begins jerking me off, looking above me as I’m untying his other hand. I slap that hand off pretty quickly. No, he does not get to do that. Seconds later, he’s free and he’s back to caressing my thighs. I climb even higher on his body and began jerking myself faster and faster, almost to the point where I feared I’d tare my own cock off.

“Stick out your tongue.” I breathe out above him.

He does it immediately, looking at me and then looking down at my cock, waiting to be fed.

“Ugh!” I grunt loudly and throw my head back as I’m coming after my own orgasm myself.

I can’t see where I’m splashing his face but it’s on it.

Armie takes my cock from my hand from me and that makes me fall straight forward and I had to grasp onto the bed board myself for support. His eyes are on me, I can feel them, even though mine were closed. He milks me to the max and then licks the cum I had on the head of my cock.

I’m crying now. My tears are falling down his cum-covered face. There’s some on his right cheek and chin, but the largest amount went over his lips and down his throat.

Armie had a beautiful and bright smile on his face.

I’m shaking now and I can’t stop it. Why am I cold? I’m never cold after an orgasm. I can’t stop crying.

Why did I want to choke him to death?

Armie embraced my stomach and he’s kissing it again. My skin is way too over sensitive to process what is happening.

“Tim…what’s the matter?” He asks me. I can hear the fear in his voice.

“Nothing…uh…I need a moment.” Even my voice is shaking.

I jumped off the bed and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The explanation is coming in the next chapter, it's coming soon.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	47. Am I worth it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Tim talk about what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! I must say, i am beyond impressed and in love with your reactions on the previous chapter. I had a completely different plan about it, didn't mean to push it that far but it's better this way. I missed some drama and thought it was about time to bring it back. I'll admit, i was indeed scared about what your response was gonna be about the last chapter but it went on perfectly. Thank you!  
> Here's the next one, it's mostly talking and confronting each other about stuff they don't necessarily understand, but i enjoyed writing it. Enjoy it, hope you'll like this chapter, and as always let me know your thoughts in the comments! Take care and stay safe!❤️

I could still feel the skin of his neck underneath my fingers. His eyes, that were so close to popping out of their sockets, changed their colors, from light blue to dark blue, to dark, and I thought I saw some blood on the sclera. My nails were digging and digging, deeper, I wanted for them to puncture all the veins and arteries he had on the inside of his neck. My hands were getting wet pretty quickly because he was sobbing. But the way his color changed…from normal to light red by being tied up, gagged and sexually frustrated, to boiling red, it did not match the rest of his body. I like the fact that I wanted to try and break the bones around his neck, to leave him there, to listen to him inhale his last breath through his nose. I could swear he was already losing it because his head was losing its balance inside my grip.

All of that…it was all I could think about the second I locked the door of the bathroom and crumbled down on the floor crying. He saw the way I ran away, it was not good, I sensed he was worried when he asked me what’s the matter. I didn’t want him to worry, I don’t know what I wanted for him to do or to think, but right now…I needed to be on my own and calm down so I could figure out why did I like chocking him so much, chocking him so close the edge.

My chest hurt. Why can’t I take a normal breath? Is this how I’m getting repaid for what I did to him?

My entire body ached. I stuffed my head in my hands as I was trying to block the images of his red face and muffled noise he was trying to make, battling for breath.

Make this go away!

I was still shivering from having a hard and mind-blowing orgasm only minutes ago. Because my mind was filled with images of his red face and sounds that were going to haunt me forever, I totally drifted away the fact that he held me so tightly and was kissing my tummy again. And I managed to escape that grip and run into the bathroom, still shaking from everything that has just happened.

I can’t breathe, there’s too much going on right now.

What the fuck is wrong with me? What the hell am I doing? How did I got myself involve in this? This all can’t be because of love, there must be something else, something that makes sense. And what? Love doesn’t make sense?

But the time I counted on being myself, he did not.

A knock behind me shook my entire body. Should’ve left him tied up in there so I can panic and cry on my own. No, I do not need his presence. I need to be alone. That part, he simply doesn’t understand.

“Tim?”

He was whispering. He knew I’d be close.

“Timmy? Are you okay?”

No, I am not. I don’t know if I needed for him to go away or go away, back home. He rarely calls me Timmy. But his voice was rather soothing and that helped a little, almost like it didn’t.

“Yeah…” I inhaled and wiped my tears off so I could openly lie to him.

“You’re not.” He breathed out.

He knows me so well.

“Please open the door. I wanna hold you.” He knocked again. Fear and worry…his voice is filled with it. He wants to hold me after everything I’ve done to him…

“Please not…not now…please go away.” As much as I wanted for him to go away and leave me, I wanted him to just stay on the other side of the door, just a little closer, in case I need him.

“You know I won’t do that.” He said.

Yeah, I know.

“Just unlock the door, I’ll do the rest. Tim, please…”

“I’m fine, please go away.” I breathed out silently, hoping he’d hear me.

“You can’t chase me away with whatever is bothering you.”

I know, I know. But it’s not about him. This is not me trying to grab his attention by firing back. I really needed to be alone.

“Armie, please…I just want to be alone.” Another round of tears fell down my cheeks.

“Well I don’t!” He knocked the door behind my head, hard.

I jumped. He’s mad.

“Open the fucking door, Tim! I don’t wanna be alone on the other side, please…” He knocked the door again hard, I’m scared.

He’s violent now. I hit the nerve. I’m sobbing louder. It was not my intention to make him angry now, I’m already fucked up enough as it is.

“Tim…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He’s so close behind my head. He’s kneeling as well.

His voice is shivering. I can’t keep on doing this, I’ll chase him away forever. There is no point in hiding and closing in front of him, he won’t ever leave me be on my own. As much as I thought, and tried convincing myself that I needed to be alone and needed him to go away…it was all a lie. I need him. I don’t have anyone else to turn to about this.

“Please…Tim…”

I give up eventually and stand up to unlock the door. I just turn the lock and step away, putting down the lid and sitting on the toilette.

“What the fuck, Tim?” He said as soon as he walked in and closed the door behind him.

I looked up but threw my head back down.

“I’m sorry…” I breathe out, wiping my tears.

He’s still naked, we’re both naked. Armie walks over to me, touching my arms and my shoulders, he’s trying to hug me. I’m getting shivers from his skin on my own.

“Don’t touch me, please…” I gasp.

Armie removes his hands from my body.

He’s silent. He’s not doing anything or saying anything, I doubt he knows what’s wrong with me or what is the perfect things to do or say in cases like this one.

Armie kneeled in front of me. Now I can look into his face. His color is back, his eyes are still dark blue, and there are some white finger prints around his neck. I made them, those are mine. How long until they fade away for good? I don’t need a reminder of what I’ve done to him, neither does he.

“Did I do something? Did you not like…being in charge?” He asks, gently putting his thumbs on my knees.

I don’t like him touching me now. But I don’t hate it either.

How to answer this question? It was a real rollercoaster of emotions. First it was good, then it was challenging, then I was teasing him, then I almost killed him, and then it was all good until I ran off.

“Are you scared of me now?”

I looked deep into his eyes, rather offensive.

“No! I’m not scared of you Armie!”

He breathes out. Because he doesn’t know what to say. Because he doesn’t know what the problem was.

“I’m scared…” I closed my eyes.

Armie’s now touching my knees with his opened palms. I don’t hate it.

“Talk to me, please. Whatever it is, we can sort it out, I promise you. I won’t leave you until you talk to me.” He’s not hesitant anymore, he’s touching my thighs, and I’m not complaining. One wall is down.

I took a deep breath.

“I’m scared of myself.” I said and broke down again. Never would I ever guess I’d say this about myself to him.

“Why?”

I looked at him. My God, he looks so worried. And confused. I’m confused as well.

“Because I almost fucking chocked you to death!” I grunted out and began crying again. I never felt any shame in crying in front of him. We’ve both cried in front of each other before.

“Tim…” He hugs my waist from his position.

We’re silent. His head is still in my lap, against my stomach. I can feel his hot cheeks of my skin. A force stronger than me reaches out and I touch his hair. Don’t be scared to touch him. It’s Armie!

Armie looked up at me and touched my jaw.

“I’m fine, you can see that, I’m fine.”

I’m not looking at him, he’s trying to capture my eyes.

“Hey, look at me beautiful.” He speaks so softly while cupping both of his hands.

I do look at him and I start kissing his palm. He smells good, I like kissing his skin.

“I’m fine. I’m breathing normal now.” He breathes out and smiles. He smiles again.

“Yeah…”

“I liked it, Tim. I liked that you did what you did. I was proud of you for stepping up and doing that. I loved everything you did to me just now. I don’t know where that Tim came from, but I want to see him more often, honestly.” Armie’s smiling and reliving what we did a few minutes earlier. I knew he’d be proud.

“I’m sorry…” I breathe out.

“Hey, hey, hey…nothing to be sorry about. This is what I’m talking about. This is why people find me disgusting.” He rushes to remove hair from my face.

I look him directly in the eyes. He had some cum on face, in his hair and on the bridge of his nose.

“You’re not disgusting. You’re wonderful.” I said.

“As are you.”

He smiles. I smile back at him but soon, I’m back to being sad. Forcing myself to smile in front of him was the oddest thing I have ever done. I wipe the little piece of cum he had on his nose and put that finger on his lips. Of course, he licked it immediately. Wonder what I look like.

“But I almost…fuck…I can’t even…” I can’t even finish the sentence.

“You’re scared that you almost…chocked me?”

I nodded.

“Ah, Tim…you didn’t do that out of hatred, did you?” He asks, he’s serious now as well.

“Of course not! I love you!”

“Then what’s the problem? Talk to me, please…”

“It’s not that I choked you, and it’s not that you liked it, I knew you would. It’s that…it’s that I liked it! I fucking almost killed you and I liked it!”

Armie’s listening to me. I’m letting everything out. He never lets me go by without talking about my problems.

“What’s wrong with me? Why do I like chocking people?” I breathe out and try to escape his grip, but he’s not letting me go.

“You’re not chocking people, you’re chocking me. And you know I like it, I told you. I know you like it when I do it to you. I’ve seen you enjoyed it and you didn’t see me running off and locking myself away from you…”

“No…” I shook my head.

“You didn’t even go that far.”

I stop everything.

“Armie, you didn’t see yourself. You turned red.”

“So? One time you turned light blue, and then you went back to your normal color. And you had a beautiful smile on your face.”

I didn’t know that. Why didn’t I ever think of that? I was on the other side of his fist, I should’ve seen this coming.

“So…ugh…the point is…why did I like it? Why did I like leaving you lifeless there…” The question of the night.

He inhales and exhales, he’s gonna do his best to calm me down and make everything okay. I know he will. Never would Armie leave confused and sad.

“Listen Tim…it was like that with me the first time. The first time I chocked a girl in bed. She changed colors as well, but I didn’t stop there, I wanted to go further. I also felt very disgusted with myself for liking it. Why was it turning me on so much? Like a fucking psychopath.”

I’m listening to him. I had to consider that he went through this as well. He did say the first time he felt like he awoke something deep inside was when he chocked a girl.

“Why is that?” I asked him. We’re having a very emotional conversation. I needed this at the end of the day.

“It’s because…you came close to experiencing death. But you didn’t, I didn’t, I’m alive still, here, kneeling, listing to you. But it’s not the death part that got us excited, it’s the moment close to it. The adrenaline rush of pouring your love into someone’s body in that way…”

“I don’t…” It all sounds insane. Why am I, a 19 year old kid, getting off on death?

“Look, you know there are all those different sports and activities, filled with adrenaline rush, when people who peruse them are called adrenaline junkies, and they experience death all the time, all the fucking time. And they’ll tell you that the most exciting part of that is the moment before they’d think they’re gonna die. It’s the same as this. You felt driven by your love towards me that you wanted to show it off even in a very scary moment. And I took it because I liked it.”

He’s right. He could be right. If he’s not, I am so glad I let him in and he calmed me down so that we could have this conversation.

“You liked it because you felt…what…I don’t know how you felt. But I know what I always feel when I’m suffocating you.”

“What?” I frowned a little.

“Power. Dominance. It’s nasty and awful but I feel good all the time, and you like it, you ask for it. And when you ask for it, and when you smile afterwards and when you don’t knock three times, I know I did my job right.”

I hope he’s right. I can’t help but smile because he sounds very happy and rather proud talking about this.

“This is a part of sex because…face it Tim, we’re sick.” He laughs out loud.

I chuckle.

“Yeah, we are…” I chuckle again.

“And you should like chocking me because I like the power that comes out of you when you do it. And I know you could never choke me to death out of hatred. I know my own limits as well. You do it because you love me, and you do it because it gives you power over me.”

I nodded.

“So many times…fuck, every time, I was afraid you’d tell me to stop and we would have to have this conversation that we’re having now.”

I nodded again and he lets go of my face and hugs my waist again. I spread my legs and he pushed between them closer. All I could do, I hug his neck. I need to cherish that same neck I recently put through hell. My body needed this, I needed his hug, I needed his skin, he’s still warm.

“I was so scared when you turned red and I actually liked it…” I breathed out into his hair. I’m ready to cry again.

“I know you were, I know baby, I scared you there as well…maybe we should’ve talked about this before. I should’ve warned you about this. But it’s normal, it’s okay. As you can see, we’re both fine. I am breathing just fine. And you were fucking amazing…” He parts from me and looks up.

“Ah…was I?” I ask, smiling. I am so fucking glad he calmed me down and that we’re getting back to normal.

“Fuck yeah. I’ll remember this time by the way you made me fall apart instead of almost chocking me to death…”

Armie’s smile is contagious. I smile immediately.

“You okay now?” He muttered.

“Yeah…thank you, I’m better…”

I keep on nodding.

“Besides, you could never choke me even if you wanted to. You have sticks for your arms, and use both of your hands.” He stays serious but I know he’s joking.

“Fuck you.” I fire back.

He laughs and I laugh after him.

“I love you so much I wouldn’t mind it at all…” He breathes out.

“You’d be dead then.”

“At least I died in a heat of passion.” He smiles. He’s an idiot.

“Don’t say that…it’s true, but don’t say that.”

Armie smiles and exhales deeply. He cups my face and is just rubbing his forehead against mine, inhaling my scent. When he does this, I feel like the most worshiped human being in his life.

“You’re worth it all. Every scar, every mark, every bruise…all of it.” He breathes out after placing kisses on my face.

And yet I was the one who had more of those he just names.

“You are the one who’s worth it.” I said and tried smiling, without force.

“Let’s call it even then.”

“We always do.” I said.

We laugh again. I can’t help it. I am so happy he came in and calmed me down. Whenever there is a problem, there is Armie to solve it.

“How are you feeling?” I ask him now. The warmth around us excites me so much.

“Tired but…amazing…it’s been a while since I felt this good with you. And even before you…I was…lost. Guess I didn’t date the right choker.” He said.

I scoffed. It’s not funny.

“Don’t…don’t make fun of me for this.”

“Or what, you’ll choke me again?”

“Armie!” I raise my voice through a smile, and he’s still laughing.

Even after this, he finds a way to make a joke and to make me laugh.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I won’t.” He grunted as he was getting up. He was kneeling for some time.

I gave him my hands and he helps get me up. Without even hesitating, I hug him. Armie embraces me so tightly to him. I am so damn tired, his warm hug is taking everything I have left inside me. Him hugging me felt so right, it felt like coming home. How did I get so lucky to have it all with him, and even experience a near death?

“Can we just sleep for a while? I’m exhausted.” I looked up at him after we parted. My eyes were closing slowly; I was either tired or my eyes were just puffy from all that crying.

“Of course. Anything you need.”

He kisses my forehead. But I’m not moving, I keep pushing my face into him.

“Give me a second. I have to wash the…ball…”

“Leave it for later. I wanna sleep now.” I said, not letting go of his hand. I don’t ever wanna leave his hand.

“You got it, babe.” He nods and we get out of the bathroom, holding each other.

Armie removed everything that was on the bed, closed the window and the curtains and created a dark atmosphere. I undid the covers and lied down, waiting for him. Once he settled down with me, I hugged him around his chest, and not my usual way, around his neck. He noticed that.

“Don’t be afraid to touch me Tim, nothing’s gonna happen…” He breathed out against my forehead.

“I know…”

“Hug me. Around the neck. Touch it and see that it’s fine. I am fine. I am speaking now which means I’m breathing.”

I swallow and run my fingers across his neck. It feels like nothing’s changed. It feels like I didn’t almost kill him out of love and passion. It feels like we’ve never had that talk. It feels normal. And to think than minutes ago, my hands were squeezing his neck so tightly that I began enjoying the sounds he was trying to make.

Armie’s fine, and he’s fine with this. Like he said, I changed colors as well and he didn’t run off.

“How does it feel?”

“Normal.” I breathed out, telling the whole truth.

“I told you.”

Silence. I’m still touching his neck with my fingers, being rather gentle this time.

“Can I ask you something?” He broke the silence.

“Mhm…”

“Would you do it again, next time?”

“Choke you?” I looked up.

He nodded his head.

“Well…yeah…I would.” I said and was being honest.

He smiled at that.

“And why?” Armie added.

“Because…you’re fine with it, because we talked about it and…because…well…it turned me on.” This is exactly how I felt and I meant every word. Of course I would do it again and soon. Since he’s okay with it and I felt better about talking about it, yeah, why not…

“It’s that moment of knowing your hands are squeezing tightly only because you are being driven by love and control and, well, dominance.” He said, caressing my back.

“Yeah, sounds about right.”

“I wouldn’t even let you go that far. I know my own limits. The second I’d feel like you’re pushing it, I’d tell you to stop. I know the limit for which I am okay with it, but once that limit is crossed, it can be dangerous, life threatening. And we don’t want that.”

I nodded my head, listening to him.

“Let’s sleep now. We’ll go down for dinner afterwards.” He breathed out against my forehead.

“Everything we’ve done here is eat, sleep and fuck.” I chuckled.

“And talk…” He added.

“And talk.” I agreed.

“Are you glad we talked?”

“I am.”

“Anything you want to ask me…you’re free to do so, never hesitate.”

“I get that. Thanks.” I smiled, genuinely.

“Let’s sleep, I am exhausted.”

But before he closed his eyes, I grabbed his chin towards me.

“You still love me?” I asked him.

“More than anyone I ever loved before.”

After we woke up, we got dressed and headed down for dinner. For the first time, in three days that we’ve been here, I didn’t have anything sticking out my ass that was making me moan and squirm in public. And for the first time, I walked out in public with a giant hickey on the side of my neck. Let them see it, I wanted them to know who the artist behind it was. He was sitting right across me.

We ate for quite some time, even had dessert.

I slept well, he never let go of me. But when I woke up, I was still feeling a bit uneasy. I’m hoping for this to go away through time. He noticed me closing off and being quiet throughout dinner time, but he knew that all of this was still so new to me and that time would only make it better for me. He didn’t push me into talking about it, because he knew I didn’t want to, instead, he kept changing the subject and kept talking about something else.

“Armie? Is it okay if we don’t…anything tonight.” I asked him as soon as we walked back into the room.

“Of course it is.”

He gently pulled me towards him and kissed my forehead.

“If you wanna talk about it…” He said.

“No, I think I just need time. It’ll be better in the morning, I promise.” I forced a smile again, but I’m working on it.

“Don’t promise me anything. And don’t force yourself. If you’re not feeling good about it, let it last and let it take its time. It’s better than to force it and suppress it.”

“You’re right.”

I began taking my shoes off. My entire body itches, so much of that was glued to my body. As much as I loved being so dirty with him, I know and he knows that we couldn’t wait to wash everything off. We’re leaving tomorrow.

“Okay, how about I run off to the nearest supermarket, buy us some snacks, drinks and cigarettes, and we can watch a movie or something else on my phone when I come back?” He suggested.

“I’d like that.” I said and smiled, without any force.

He grabbed the door handle.

“Hey…” I called for him and rushed to hung myself off of his neck and kissed him.

He let go of the door handle and pulled me closer to him and kissed me back. My knees buckled suddenly.

“Don’t take too long.” I whispered against his lips after we parted.

He winked at me and he was out. This was a perfect time to talk to someone. I sat down on the bed and called mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The answer is yes.  
> The next chapter is coming day after tomorrow.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	48. Grateful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy talks to his mom, and later on, has a great night with Armie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovies!! I hope i'm on time with this one. My motivation is back, hope i don't jinx it, and i'll start writing the next chapter soon. Here's today's chapter, it's really emotional and filled with all that lovie-dovie stuff, idk where i pulled out that pile of romance from inside my head lol. Anyway, enjoy it, hope you'll like it, and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments! Stay safe and take care!❤️

“Timothée?”

“Hi mama…”

I exhaled when I heard her voice on the other end. It’s been three days since I’ve last seen her, we’ve only exchanged texts but nothing more. It feels so long ago. Her voice both soothes me down and makes me nervous because I miss her already and I felt like crying.

“Baby, how are you?” I can sense she’s smiling.

Should I tell her the truth? She wouldn’t understand.

“I’m good mama. How have you been?”

“I’m good now. But Tuesday is gonna be horrific.” She scoffed. She’s going back to work on Tuesday but she rarely ever complains about it.

“Why?”

“Because there are gonna be tough cases after holidays. For some reason, there are so many people getting sick around the ending of the year. That’s because Christmas is the perfect time to cook a whole ass meal and let everyone dig in. And New Year as well.”

I chuckled. I love listening to her go on and on about her job. She’s a real boss.

“That makes so much sense now.” I chuckled again.

“I’m gonna use my time wisely and rest until Tuesday.” She said and I felt her getting relaxed.

“Smart.”

She hums.

“How’s Derick?”

We never talk about her husband much because he’s usually not there, she would throw in how is he and all that. We’ve met him, he’s okay, but he’s not really out of some great importance. Mom’s happy with him, so…that’s all that matters. He’s an anesthesiologist. That’s how they’ve met.

“He’s fine. He’s at work. He’s working the night shift.” She said.

I stood up and took my socks off and was unbuttoning my jeans. They were so filthy…

“I’m sorry I didn’t call, and for not letting you where I am, I was about…” I began.

But she interrupted me.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ve been talking to Armie. He told me where you guys are. He said you’re having fun.”

I sat back down and stopped unbuttoning my jeans. Wait, what? She said she talked to…

“You talked to Armie?” I frowned, totally lost at where all this came from.

“Mhm…”

“When?”

She breathes out.

“Uh…when was it? Today, in the afternoon. We talked every day at least once ever since you guys dropped me off at the airport.”

I had no idea. I didn’t know they even had any sort of contact besides me.

“I didn’t know that, he never said anything.” I said.

“That’s because whenever he calls, you’re asleep.” She chuckles.

“That’s sweet of him.”

It is beyond sweet of him. The fact that he’s been talking to my mom for days while I was basically unconscious…

“Of course it is. He’s a nice guy. Is he there?” She hums and asks. I agree with her.

“No, he’s not. Um…”

This new information stirred up something inside me again. Suddenly, I felt very emotional and sensed that my eyes were filling up with tears again. I didn’t know I had some left after the crying session in the afternoon.

“About Armie…” I breathed out.

“What did he do?” Her tone changed.

“No, no-…” I shake my head, trying to calm her over the phone.

“Did he say something? Did he hurt you? I swear to God Timothée, tell me or I’m gonna rip his head off and…”

“Mom stop! No! It’s nothing like that. He didn’t do anything to me.”

What a drama queen. Oh…I see it now…I see it now where I got it from. It makes so much sense.

“Then why are you crying?”

I’m quiet for some time. Seriously, why am I crying? Everything is perfect. Armie is fine, he’s been talking to my mom, they adore each other…why am I like this?

“I’m just…he loves me so much…” I cry it out. My cheeks are wet. I need to stop crying so much.

“Oh, baby, is that the reason to cry about?”

“No, I’m just…overwhelmed. I don’t know how to handle so much…he’s so wonderful mama. I had no idea he’s been talking to you. And he loves me so fucking much.” I said, my voice was shaking.

I can feel her smile through phone.

“You’re happy baby…”

“I am. I really am. And I don’t know why am I crying, I just felt like it.” I blurted it out and laughed at myself.

“Did you have fun with him?”

Oh you have no idea mama. I wish I could tell her exactly what we did but I think she knows. I doubt she could ever pull out of her mind what exactly-exactly we were doing and how far we’ve gone but…yeah…it’s not something to talk about with your mom. On the other hand, I talk with her about Armie and what an amazing human being he is.

“Yeah. Three days, just him and me and no one else, and nothing else. He takes care of me, he talks to me whenever I have a problem, he calms me down, I sleep like a baby next to him…”

“That’s amazing baby. But I don’t understand the tears.”

“Maybe because I’ve never been so…happy before, alone or with anyone. And no one has ever made me feel so special in so many different ways. It’s all new to me.” I’m saying it as I’m thinking it through.

“Look baby, there isn’t much I can do when you’re happy, I can’t give you an advice that will help the situation. Except to tell you to use it and never let go of it. There’s no fear, nothing bad coming, as I got it right?” Her voice is so damn soothing.

“Yeah.”

“Then quick your whining and enjoy your man!” She yelled over the phone.

I started laughing, maybe for the first time for real since what happened hours ago. Was it her voice or her silly advice, I will never know. But my mom telling me to enjoy my man…now that’s something I never saw coming, from her especially. I love her so much.

“See…you’re already laughing.” She chuckled.

“Jesus mama…” I breathed out, still laughing, wiping my tears.

Were they happy tears or sad tears? It doesn’t matter, I was venting and it felt good. My chest no longer hurts and I can breathe again.

“Where is that gorgeous son of a bitch?” She asks and chuckles.

Nicole is smitten as well.

“He went out to buy us something to eat and drink. We’re gonna watch a movie now when he gets back.”

“Sounds like a date.”

She said, and before I could answer her, Armie walked in. He was carrying two bags filled with food and drinks, and he tossed a pack of cigarettes at me. They fell into my lap.

“Oop, here is he.” I alerted her and smiled.

“Who’s that?” Armie asked and smiled.

“Nicole.”

“Say hi to her, I have to run to the bathroom.” And he went inside. I heard him unzipping his jacket and throwing it on the ground. Then I heard him unbuckling his buttons and belt and zipper. He didn’t even close the door.

We are getting very close and I love it.

“He says hi. He ran to the bathroom.” I said to my mom.

“Give him all my love. You boys enjoy the night and we’ll talk tomorrow when you get back home, okay?”

I nodded.

“Okay mama.”

“Bye baby.” She whispered.

“Bye…”

And we hung up. I couldn’t stop smiling.

After he was done, he came out and began undressing.

“Did you hang up?” He asked.

“Yup.”

“Ah, I wanted to talk to her.”

He took his jeans off and his boxers off. I watched him getting naked in front of me. Soon, he took his sweater off as well.

“You’ll call her tomorrow.” I said and smirked.

“She told you?”

“She did.”

“We exchanged numbers days ago, I’m just keeping her posted because I knew you’d be too tired to do so yourself.” Armie explained and extended his arms for me to take them. And I did.

I stood up and he began taking my sweater off for me and the rest of my clothes without my permission. I was naked again and actually felt good.

“You thought of everything.” I chuckled.

He winked at me.

About 10 minutes later, after we chose what we’re gonna watch; Armie was the easiest film buddy ever, he wants to watch everything, he never complains about it, and after we opened something to eat and drink, we were in bed again. We found a movie to watch on his phone.

Armie was holding his phone in his hand and I was lying cuddled up against him, watching the movie. A date night indeed. He got us some yummy snacks and I rushed to open up something very fast and munch on before he even lied down.

Armie saw that I was feeling better. It was so visible on my face, on my smile, in my eyes, and even on the inside, I felt really good.

It was a good day. It may have started a bit strange for me, I am still getting used to everything we do in bed, I am still getting used to him and his needs, hell, I’m still getting used to this man I’ve become because of him. But Armie knows exactly what to do and to say to calm me down and make everything better. Wonder why is that? Was it because he knew back then how to react? Or was it because he knew nothing, he had nobody and had to figure it out on his own? That one seems right. I doubt he ever went to his family about what was going through his mind. He told me his mother’s opinion on him and boys, I doubt she would react anything better with her son being into bondage and rough sex, boys or girls. It made me a bit sad to think about him all alone all the time and with his head filled with so many questions and no one to turn to. If he had turned to some of his friends, he’d tell me. He turned to internet instead, but the internet didn’t hesitate about sending him off to a psychiatric ward. It’s all so sad. But he’s so strong and brave, he’s so calm and good with words and advices.

I payed attention to the movie for the first 15 minutes or so, then I got distracted and kept thinking about Armie and how wonderful he is. I think it was cleared to the both of us that we won’t be having sex tonight. But despite everything that has happened, I still wanted to. If not sex, I still wanted to feel him, to let him worship my body, or to make him let me repay him, because if it wasn’t for him, who knows where my mind would be now. He insisted of letting me inside, he insisted on talking, he insisted on the course this night took.

And I was grateful, and wanted to show him my gratitude.

I shoved one hand down underneath the blanked and cupped his cock. I will never get tired of him fitting so perfectly in my hand. Now that he was still limp and working on it, it didn’t take too much of an effort for me to make a whole circle around his shaft.

It was a very funny scene that came up just as I touched him and began moving my fist around his cock, slowly, with such care, treating it like the most valuable being out there. Armie stopped laughing. He was still smiling but I sensed he wasn’t watching the movie anymore.

“Tim…” He spoke through a chuckle.

“Just watch the movie…”

Twisting my fist around him, not letting any spot go untouched. Just like a caressed him with my tongue earlier, I’m doing it now with my hand. It doesn’t take much to turn him on. I thought it was just a myth that a guy can get hard so quickly, turns out, it wasn’t. It was possible. Armie wasn’t rock hard, but he was already hallway through. My hand around him and the fact that we were lying naked and our bodies were touching, and plus, we were lying inside the bed that was filled with so much memories of the past three days, and let’s not forget, the smell; his scent, my scent, before, during and after sex. All of that was imprinted in this bed and it was making both of us hard.

“I thought you said you didn’t wanna do anything tonight…” He chuckled again.

The second he said it, I remembered the moment I asked this of him and that turned me on so much, because now, I want to do it. I wanted to show him my gratitude for being so wonderful.

“I don’t.” I said, teasing him.

“Okay. Let me know when you change your mind.” He said and continued watching the movie.

“Mhm…”

Couple of minutes into just stroking him slowly, he was hard, and not only that, he was letting out moans from his throat. Those were such a turn on that I craved for him to touch me as well. He’s moaning again, silently, I doubt he’s paying attention to what he’s watching.

He moves his legs underneath the blanket; he’s done with the movie.

One of his arms was around my shoulder when we lied down, and now he moved it and pushed it underneath the blanket and cupped my cock as well.

I hissed at that because his hand was ice cold. This made me happy. He was still holding the phone and kinda watching the movie, but he was more focused on me and what we’ve been doing underneath the blanket. He moved his hand slowly, with ease and care, like it was nothing to him.

I always think about and wonder if people that look at us picture us in bed and what we’re doing when we’re naked. A weird way of thinking but it gets me off. I do that all the time. Before I had Armie naked in my bed and before I learned his entire sex history, I used to imagine him sleeping with other guys and that got me off so hard.

Armie stopped stroking me and brough that hand to his face and licked couple of fingers and then came back underneath the blanket and cupped me again. I moaned against his neck and kissed it, he twitched in my hand when I did that which made me twitch as well in his. In the meantime, I was still stroking him religiously and loving every second of it. We’re not stopping here or ending It here. We’re going all the way even tonight, even after I asked him not to do anything.

I stopped stroking him and did the same thing he did, we need to keep him wet at all times. He twitched couple of times once I got my wet hand back around him.

I can never get enough of him. But I wanted tonight to be different.

I removed my hand from him and straddled his hips instead. He turned the phone off and placed his hands on my thighs. He smiled at me, and I smiled at him. His hands were so big that he managed to cup my entire waist and caress my stomach with his thumbs on the front. Why is this still so fascinating to me? It was already known that he can swallow me whole if he wanted to.

“I changed my mind.” I spoke softly and brough one of his hands to my face and kissed his index and middle finger.

“Oh, really? I would never tell.” He chuckled, and I couldn’t help but chuckle as well.

Then I bent down to his face, lining up my chest and stomach with his, skin to skin. I kissed him slowly and watched his face react to mine.

“I want us to make love, Armie.” I whispered so close to his face.

“Okay, we’ll make love.” He nodded and will indeed make my wish come to life.

Just so we’re cleared not to use any toys. Just us, like this, nothing in between, making love the old-fashioned way.

He noticed me being very silent and emotional, and he knew the last thing I needed was another round of rough and brutal sex.

I sat up on his stomach and was touching his chest and brushing my fingers against the nipples.

Armie adjusted his position and began pulling the covers from us.

I rushed to take them away from him and leave them where they were.

“No…don’t…leave them…” I said, trying to make an innocent smile.

“Whatever you say, I’m here…” Armie smiled and put his hands back on my thighs.

I shook my head slowly, out of pure admiration and surprise and love.

“Wow, you love me so much.” I said as I was running my fingers across his lower lip.

“Was I not clear before?” He winked.

“Very clear.” I nodded my head and bent down again and kissed him.

After my lips, he went on and started kissing my neck, the place where I wore his mark, I trembled and moaned softly at that.

We were in a much better mood now than we were after the whole scenario from the afternoon. The atmosphere in the room made it all better; the window was cracked opened, the only light we had was coming from the night lamp next to the big bed we were now lying in, and it was warm.

We were about to make love and we haven’t done that in a while. I love that we can do it all: have sex, make love, fuck, fuck mercilessly…it all depends on our moods.

Luckily, the bottle of lube we almost used up, was sitting on the night stand next to the lamp. I bent over and got it. Armie extended his hand for me to pour it for him, and I did. The last couple of times I didn’t need much opening, I was naturally opened for him. He smeared the lube on his fingers and pushed his hand behind me to find my hole. When he did, I shivered. Armie first massaged my hole and then pushed a finger inside. The over-sensation made me weak and I collapsed on top of him again, lining up our bodies. I moaned against his chin when his entire finger was already inside me, and soon, there was a second one. He made it all seem so easy, but in reality, it was. I had to go back to the time where this was crucial, where this would take us some real time. Preparation is the key, and we’ve just mastered it. Weeks ago, we’d use some good time to open me up. Armie’s moving his fingers so easily, surrounding his digits with warm and wet and hot environment.

“Mmm…ah…” I moaned against his lips.

He’s just looking at me and following my reaction. I’m arching my back into his fingers underneath the blanket. We are so close, it’s making me lose my mind.

Quickly, Armie pulled the fingers out and pushed them back in.

“Ah!” I yelped with a smile. Armie smiled as well, he loves this.

I am not moving away from him just yet. We can do this the whole day but I want us to make love.

Without hesitation, Armie pulled the fingers out and rushed to open the bottle again. His fingers were slippery and I helped him with it. He poured the liquid on my palm and I sat up on him and covered his cock with lube from behind. Then I lined it up with my hole and pushed him inside. Armie was holding his breath until he was fully inside me, looking into my eyes as I was basically pushing his cock through rings of muscles. I hissed and held my breath because there was only a small amount of pain. My eyes rolled back when he was balls deep inside me and I heard Armie exhale. Then I grabbed the blanket on my back and pulled It over us as I lied down on top of him, lining our bodies again, perfectly.

We were kissing the entire time he was moving my body slowly on top of him. I needed that stability, that clarification that we’re close and we’re good and that he loves me and I love him. Armie never stopped roaming my body with his huge hands once I decided to speed up the rhythm. Now that I have him like this, bare, prepared, and underneath the blanket, it made me feel like we were the closest we ever were before. There is something when a connection like ours has no limits, no boundaries, no rules, no walls…I mean, I cry in front of him, he pees in front of me with an opened door, he pours his heart out, and I make a step into something new thanks of him. I can ask anything I want from him, I know he’s gonna give it to me.

Tonight, it felt different, but in a good way. We were making love.

Just him and I, inside the warm bubble, our bodies connected, mine moving on top of him, kissing non-stop, I can feel his heart underneath my body, he’s gonna burst. When we weren’t kissing, I stuffed my face into his neck and moaned into the warm skin. He was moaning and grunting next to my ear. But, we were moaning constantly, the entire time, even if I didn’t feel like he was hitting spots deep inside me, I moaned anyway because it turned him on, and it made him moan which turned me on as well. If he wasn’t brushing against my sweet spots on the inside with his cock, he sure as hell was touching my heart some other way. Releasing such warmth and feeling of safety inside me, that made me love him even more. Armie never let go of my body, never removed his lips from my face, he kept me in his embrace the entire time. Here I was, lying on top of him, legs spread, his cock inside me, his lips on my skin, and I’ve never felt more cherished. Everything we’ve done up to this point…it had nothing on this sexy love making session.

Armie pulled out and wrapped his arm around my waist, he was already out of breath and I was sweating already. He removed the covers and flipped us over; I was lying on my back waiting for him. Armie pulled the covers on top of us again and entered me so easily. I moaned loudly throwing my head back, but Armie was there to stimulate me and keep me sane. He wrapped my legs around his waist and rushed to glue our lips together. I hung my arms around his neck from which I no longer had any fear. We’ve never kissed so much while making love, I don’t even remember feeling his skin so close to mine, so often. He basically scooped me in his arms and made love to me like I asked him to.

Armie was moving inside me at a perfect pace, not too slow or too fast, not fast and not slow, just perfect. I love feeling him sliding inside and outside of my body so easily, so freely, this became a natural movement for us. I love him so much, I don’t know and I do not want to know, what my life would look like without him inside it. To be constantly, daily, hourly reminded how important I was to him, to have someone call me beautiful and worship my body like a piece of art. He loves me so much. This love, right there, was what was driving us as we were making love so beautifully.

I think I fell in love in a way how we make love. Not just with our bodies but with our hearts too. While his body was sliding against mine, so was his heart touching mine. I have never been so much in love with him. My lips were searching for his all the time, the moans were escaping my lips and traveling directly into his. I continued grunting and moaning loudly on purpose despite not feeling the drive of a lover finding the lover’s weak and sweet spot. I continued to encourage him anyway, and he continued to make love to me anyway.

When he was not kissing my lips, he was pepper kissing my face and showering me with silent praise, worshiping my being. He was holding my thighs, then moving his hands up and down them, up and down my stomach and chest. Looking directly into my eyes as he was moving inside me and moaning so close to my face. His face was red, light red than what it was when I chocked him this afternoon, his hair was so dirty, there were no words, I could see nothing but sparks of love in his eyes.

Is there a better feeling of having someone connected with you physically, mentally and emotionally? I say no, there isn’t. This is just pure love and I’ve felt it for the first time thanks to this guy on top of me.

I removed one hand from around his neck and cupped my cock and began stroking my cock. Once I felt that, it was like a call back to reality. This is gonna end soon and I feel like crying for even thinking of ending it so quickly, we’ve only just began making love, no!

My eyes were closed while I was stroking myself in sync with his moves inside me, and while I was grunting, tortured by the fact that I was close, and if I’m close, he’s close, and that means that the end was near.

His eyes were everywhere on me, I felt them travel all over my body, worshiping every part, being so happy for making love to me and my skin, my entire being basically.

I’m close. He doesn’t need me to tell him that, he’s seen my face and the way my body reacts when I’m close. I’m leaking all over my hand and he saw that. We looked at each other, sweaty and breathless, and Armie removed my hand and placed his and continued stroking me. His lips were soon back on mine and he sped up a little bit.

I inhaled sharply into his mouth and seconds later, I came all over his hand and my stomach, and that was a big load. Every muscle in my body was contracting to that motion, I was shiver and hyperventilating in addition to a very hard and beautiful orgasm.

Once he saw that and smiled with teeth, he began leaking inside me, but he stopped moving and leaned over and grabbed a towel that was on the floor. He spread it and put it underneath me. Good thinking, so as not to come on the mattress. He just shoved it underneath my butt, didn’t want to pull out not to break the connection so easily, he simply dragged me with him.

Not a moment later, Armie stiffed on top of me with his mouth opened and eyes squeezed shut, and that’s when I knew he was reaching his own orgasm. I felt him spill inside me and smiled widely at that.

After he was done, he collapsed on top of me all sweaty and breathing deeply.

Once he pulled out, I felt myself leaking from the hole and squeezed out some more, but Armie never moved away from me.

I was caressing his sweaty hair and kissing his temple. This made me so happy.

He was probably already asleep and I didn’t dare close my eyes just yet but it felt too good not to just give into dreams and sleep.

As I reached over to turn the lamp off, he woke up and moved away a little, not crushing my body anymore. We exchanged smiles and kissed again.

Armie fell asleep inside my embrace that night, and I followed him on it pretty soon, feeling so fulfilled and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	49. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy part ways with their amazing weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning lovies!! I'm sorry i couldn't post sooner but i got addicted to reading one book and simply couldn't put it down. And once i did, i wrote 3300+ words in less than one hour last night. Anyway, hope you're all safe and staying home, take care please! Enjoy today's chapter, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments.❤️

“Vanilla?”

“Yeah sure.” I smiled.

Ten minutes later, my vanilla ice cream came. He was the one to open the door in a bath robe and take a bowl of ice cream with one spoon in it. I felt like eating something sweet before we leave. It was already noon and we had time until 2 pm to check out.

As a real change, we were both dressed, at least we had our boxers on, nothing more. As soon as I finish up, we’ll have to part our ways with this beautiful birthday gift from him; four days inside a hotel room, going at it like rabbits and like there’s no tomorrow.

He handed me the bowl and I dug in immediately, feeling so happy like a child. Vanilla ice cream was indeed very good, so sweet and tasty. He couldn’t help but chuckle when he saw me dig in.

“You wanna bite?” I asked him with my mouth full of ice cream, already regretting for biting into it so fast, now my gums hurt.

“No, thank you. Enjoy.”

“Thanks…” I smiled back.

Armie was sitting on the bed, against the board and was scrolling through his phone. Then he suddenly got up and began looking for something in his bag.

“As soon as you finish that, we have to shower. I have to wash all the toys, get dressed, dry our hairs and leave.” He was talking while still looking for something, I just kept on eating.

“Got it.” I nodded my head, not giving too much attention to it.

“All that in less than two hours.” He added.

“Relax, we’ll make it.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. What is up with him?

“As soon as you finish, you hear me?” He turned around to tell me that.

“Alright, alright, jeez, relax…” I scoffed again. He’s being really dramatic, over nothing, we’ll make it. We’ll make it in less than one hour.

Once he found what he was looking for, he came back to bed.

“Eat up.” He said.

“Yes mami.” I made a ridiculous smile because he was annoying me.

I just kept on eating, licking the entire spoon, hoping he’d look up and see me do it and change his mind about us rushing home. But none of those things happened. I was sitting where his feet were and he was scrolling through his phone and listing his notebook. That’s what he got from his bag, a notebook. Why would he be carrying a notebook?

While I was eating, he was checking and matching his phone and a page from the notebook. He was frowning and looked either really concentrated or really confused.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

He was quiet for couple of seconds before answering me. Maybe he didn’t hear me, or he heard me but didn’t want to answer because he was…counting something, I don’t know.

“Just got an email, they sent me my schedule for the semester. Just checking the calendar.” He said after a while and looked at me.

“Are you gonna be busy?” I asked him after I swallowed another piece.

“Think so. Almost every day.”

“Shit.” I breathed out. This would mean less time with me.

“Since they sent me in advance it must mean I’m pushing it through. They’ve never done this until now. Hopefully, in the fall, I’ll get my own class.” He exhaled, clearly tired that he had to be the substitute professor and work whenever they called him, an hour in advance. But now, he’s got the schedule for the rest of the year in advance, that could only mean he’s being taken serious and will indeed soon get the real position.

“I’m sure you will.” I smiled at him and nudged his feet with my own.

Armie looked up and gave me a beautiful smile. I am proud of him. This has been his dream, and now he’s finally doing it. It must be a great feeling.

His eyes were back onto matching the dates in the calendar. He was also filling it up with important events to come.

“He’s crazy!” He raised his voice when he noticed something jumping off.

“What? Who’s crazy?” I put the bowl down on the bed and crawled towards him.

“Patrick…the guy, the guy that we’re going to his engagement party.”

Interesting. He didn’t say something like…the guy who invited _me_ and _I_ asked _you_ to come along, no, it was just about us going to his party.

“Why?” I asked him, trying to connect the dots.

“It’s on the 13th.” He looked at me.

“And?”

“That’s Monday. Who celebrates on a work day?” He chuckled.

I stopped and frowned for a second. Oh shit.

“Wait…that’s Monday?” I asked again.

“Yeah, why?”

“I think I start school then.”

“Check.” He said nodding at my phone.

I crawled back and got my phone off the nightstand and went online to see if there’s a date somewhere.

“When do you start?” I asked him while scrolling through the school site.

“On the 20th.”

“Lucky bastard. I’m checking now…”

The page hasn’t been refreshed since mid December. I refreshed it again and again, but there was nothing regarding the date of the beginning of the second school semester.

“There’s still nothing.” I breathed out, feeling rather relieved. Once the school starts, we will have to fight obligations and work to see each other. But we’ve managed before, I am sure we will be fine again. Besides, if I do start then, we still had two good weeks left, and three before his semester starts.

“Maybe they’ll update it on Wednesday, when January 1st rolls around.” Armie said. That made sense.

“Yeah, maybe…”

I put my phone down and grabbed my bowl of ice cream again. I was eating it slowly so that I could enjoy every bite. But it was melting.

“You wanna bite? It’s really good.” I asked him again.

Without hesitation or waiting for his answer, I crawled into his lap and pushed the notebook away, and the phone as well. With my spoon, I grabbed a bite and held it above him.

“No, I…” He tried fighting it off.

But then I “accidentally” turned the spoon and spilled ice cream on his stomach.

“Tim…” He breathed out, clearly annoyed but I held a much greater power over him where he simply couldn’t get mad at me.

“Oopsie…” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Why not tho, let’s add that on my skin as well.” He joked.

I bent down and licked it off his skin. It wasn’t cold anymore, but I could taste everything else on his stomach, including lube and cum; wonder whose. I licked it with a grin and went back up to kiss him. He chuckled and then relaxed when he opened his lips to meet mine. Now he’s eating the ice cream from my tongue. He moaned.

“Mmmm, that’s really good actually.” His eyes were wide opened and he was nodding his head.

“Yeah?” I grinned.

“Mhm, gimme more.”

I took another scoop inside the spoon and began flying it towards him and backing it away. The way mother plays with her child.

“Tim, come on, don’t mess around…” He breathed out through a smile.

I teased him some more with a grin and then eventually I gave up and fed him.

I made him lick the whole spoon.

“This is exquisite. Mm, so good.” He said.

I continued to feed him some more, from the spoon or from my tongue, either way, we were really enjoying this. Then I put the bowl away and pushed down onto him to kiss him some more, and to kiss him deeply. But then I moved my face across his face, and behind his ear and down his neck, near the arm pits…and I was so done.

“Okay, that’s it, I’m done.” I breathed out and sat onto his lap.

“Excuse me?” He frowned at my words.

“Armie, I love you and all but we have to shower, seriously…right now.”

I took a deep breath, still grinning.

“I was planning on at least making you finger me but I can’t. It’s time to shower. This was a good idea with a nasty ending. I’m done.” I exhaled, totally over with everything. It’s time.

“Oh, thank God. I didn’t wanna say anything because it was your idea and a very good one, but yeah it’s time.” Armie breathed out and smiled.

We couldn’t have jumped out of the bed faster. We showered together and my God, it felt so fucking fantastic. Finally feeling the water hit my skin and my hair. I don’t ever remember my hair being this dirty. When water and soap got mixed on our skins, it was like a new territory for me. With this, I was washing off three and a half days away. The night when we got here, it was my birthday, we dropped mama off at the airport, we checked in, he told me about his past, he fingered me opened and put a butt plug inside, we had dinner, he tied me up and blind folded me and we had amazing sex. After that, I scrubbing away the next morning and the torture I had to endure when he tied me up, gagged me and made me watch himself jerk off, then he fucked me so beautifully. I watched as the evening hit the drain, when he opened me up again and put anal beads inside me, dinner, the harness, the bun, the prostate orgasm, the most amazing and intense sex ever, oh my God. The next day was horrifying for me, tying him up, sucking him off, chocking him, almost killing him, me running off and him coming right after me, the talk, the nap, dinner, the phone call with mama, the movie night, the love making, and now…this ice cream scenario…everything is gone. I can’t believe that only, what, ten days ago, we were fighting and broke up because he thought he had knocked up his ex girlfriend, Christmas was only few days ago, then there were the gifts. That’s when I had to look down and see that I was still wearing his silver bracelet, along with other gifts he had given me; rope burns all over my body and the hickey the size of a fist. We didn’t talk, we just showered, handing each other shampoo to wash each other’s hair and later on, bodies. We had to scrub hard and well. Soon, we were clean again. But I still felt so dirty after what we’ve been doing for the past couple of days, and I was loving every second of it.

Eventually, we exhaled once we were done. I felt so sad for ending this, and leaving this beautiful room, and closing the doors. I really hope we can do something similar to this soon.

It is going to be hard going back to reality, this was amazing, it was perfect, but it’s time. What was my life before this? What were my routines? When would I normally wake up? It didn’t feel like we’ve been away for three, four days, it felt a lot longer.

“You dry your hair first, it’s longer than mine. I’ll handle the toys.” He said while we were brushing teeth.

I plugged the dryer and stood naked beside him while he was washing all of the toys with soap, water and was disinfecting them. I watched him do it. Armie was growing a beard. He put them all in a bag once he dried them off with a special towel he pulled out from that same bag. He then walked back into the room and untied the ropes off the bed post that had been hanging there since Friday. After that, I gave him the blow dryer and went back into the room to continue packing.

Armie walked out and I saw him collecting those two towels off the floor and from the bed and put them into a plastic bag.

“What are you doing?” I asked, watching him rater confused. Why would he be putting the hotel towels into a bag?

“There are mine.” He said.

“Really?” I didn’t know that.

He nodded.

“I didn’t feel comfortable using theirs for…you know.”

I nodded as to agree with him.

He had a point. He used towels for everything. I really hope we didn’t make a big mess out of the sheets.

Armie made sure to pack those polaroid pictures he made of me, and his camera as well, in a special part of his bag. I watched him smile while looking at those pictures.

After that, we both pulled out some fresh clothes out of our bags. We packed for days ahead, and never used anything new. Everything we wore, we wore it last week. And now that our hairs were cleaned, our bodies were fresh and out teeth no longer reeked, it was a perfect opportunity to pull out clothes we packed for the hotel but never wore them. Most of the time, we were in our birthday suits.

“You know what?” He interrupted my thoughts while he was putting on his jeans.

“Hm?”

“I’m gonna head to the gym tonight and sign in.” He said.

I looked at him confused.

“Tonight?”

“Mhm…”

He sounded pretty confident by that decision.

“If I don’t do it now, I’m, never gonna make myself do it. If I wait until January 1st, I’m gonna keep on pushing it off. It’s better to do it now. I’ll go tonight around 7 pm.” He said and put his shirt on and a sweater over it.

“I don’t even know why you need to go. You look good either way.”

He fucking blushed in front of me after hearing me say that. He’s insane. He’s so…I love him so much.

“I can look better than this. Besides, I’m gonna need all the strength if I plan on messing around with you.” He winked at me.

I got cocky because of his words.

“Oh, is that so…because of me?” I ginned at him.

“Partly, yeah. Other part…I need to not be so lazy.”

This was fired at me. The jerk.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being lazy.” I bit back and grinned even wider.

“You should join me. Put on some muscles in those sticks of yours. So you can choke me harder.” He said. Oh, here we go. it’s not-not funny anymore, the feeling was wearing off. But still…

“Hey, fuck you.” I scoffed through a smile.

I put on my clothes. I wore a sweater that was almost covering my hickey, didn’t really want for my brother to see it.

“And I’ve put on muscles, biceps and my forearm muscles. All that from handling your hammer.” I added once he showed up behind me to put his phone in his pocket. I smirked and waited for his reaction.

“Oh, you clever little shit.” He breathed out.

I laughed and turned around to face him.

“You smell good now.” I whispered against his neck.

“You too babe.” He kissed me.

Once we parted, I wanted to ask him something else.

“But um…we didn’t talk, about tomorrow night.” I said.

“What about it?”

“Are we gonna be celebrating New Year together or…?”

He looked down at me, confused, or offended.

“I didn’t make any plans, I thought it was common knowledge that we’re gonna be together.” He smiled.

“Okay, great…”

“What did you have in mind?” He asked me.

“I was thinking…we could go out.”

“Out where? Everything is already booked and reserved weeks ahead.”

He had a good point. I was still thinking where…

“A restaurant, is that…” He began.

“No…I was actually thinking…a bar.” I blurted it out.

“A bar?”

“A bar. A gay bar, club, whatever…” I blushed and looked away.

“You want us to go there?”

Was I rushing? Was this not the time? Was this inappropriate?

“Have you ever been there?” I asked him and sat on the bed to put my socks on.

“I have. Twice.” He said. Wow, twice. I was surprised and shocked.

“And you never hooked up with anybody?” I added.

“Nope.”

“Jeez, you really have no idea what you’re doing.”

We laughed at this which was true. He told me he only ever made out with one guy almost ten years ago.

“Okay, so, I’ll come over tomorrow night and pick you up so that we can go out, to a gay bar.” He said as he was putting on his shoes.

“Yay!” I grinned.

We continued packing the rest of the things we left lying around. We still had some snacks and drinks left. That was our breakfast this morning because it was late when we woke up and didn’t feel the need to order room service because we already had a lot of food here.

“You okay with that?” I asked him eventually.

“Anywhere you wanna go, I’m with you. Besides, those are our bars now.”

This made me reaaaaally happy. 

Twenty minutes later, we were already back in his car. It wasn’t even 1:30 pm when we left, saying goodbye to the people that were on our way out of the hotel.

We drove back to my place so that he could pick Archie up and the rest of his stuff. But neither Victor nor Jules wanted to give the pup up so easily. So Armie stayed for lunch. While they were all still eating, I called mom to let her know we’re home and that we had an amazing time being away from everyone else. She was glad to hear that. I put the clothes in the washing machine and got really tired while doing so. I asked Armie if he wanted to sleep and then go home and go the gym in the morning.

“I’d love to babe, but if I fall asleep next to you, there is no telling when will I wake up.” He said as he was on his way putting his jacket back on and collecting Archie’s stuff.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing, but…I already set my mind to it. I’m going tonight.” He said, he put his foot down.

I felt really bumped out. Armie saw that and lifted my chin to look him in the eyes.

“Smile for me.” He said.

I didn’t even look at him.

“Tim, look at me. And smile for me.”

This was, in a way, funny to him. But I was already starting to miss him. Going back home after those days being locked up with him…two different worlds, two different atmospheres, two different Armies and Timothées.

It was time to go back to reality.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night. In the meantime, I’ll call you after I come back home tonight and we can…whatever you planned on doing this morning. Using our imagination only.” He whispered against my cheek and kissed it, I grinned immediately, already picturing us having phone sex in just a couple of hours.

“Ah, there it is! The most beautiful smile in the world.” He himself smiled.

“Call me.” I said, pointing at his chest with my finger.

“I will. First I need to clean up my own things.”

Armie thanked Victor and Jules to heaven for taking care of Archie, saying how he’s gonna take us all out for lunch next week to show them his gratitude.

“Thank you.” I said afterwards when we came down to the main entrance of the building.

“What for?”

“For the best birthday ever.”

Armie dropped everything he was holding, and hugged me, caressing my hair and my back. He was so warm, it broke my heart that I had to say goodbye to him this way, or at all. He smelled good, so good.

This stranger walked into my life nearly two months ago and was already turning everything around in it. And I let him. Because I love him and trust him. And he feels the same. What was my life before Armie? Non-existing, boring, not this.

He left five minutes later with Archie on a leash. He kissed me goodbye and hugged me again, promised to call me when he gets back.

After he left, I fell right into bed and slept for the next four hours. When I got up, there wasn’t much talking to be done with these two about how it was being away in a hotel. I think they got the picture.

As much as I hated being home, I was happy that I was back there with my family. I felt so empty without him. This is dangerous. I am getting used to him so hard, there’s no telling how I’ll react in the next 36 hours. I wish we could’ve stayed longer. He didn’t have to teach me anything else, but just being locked up with him, away from reality was enough for me to feel that sort of closeness and love. We could've stayed and sleep through until next year came along, i wouldn't mind.

But I guess…it was time to go back to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	50. High expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's New Year's eve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! Posting already! The next chapter is also already written and the one after that is just missing few words to me complete. This chapter i had to get out of the way. I know we were all expecting for them to have a fun night out, but as we all know, things can change and plans can fall apart. It's nothing bad. Enjoy this chapter, hope you will like it, and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comment section!  
> Sta safe and take care!❤️

“So…how was the gym?”

I asked him after we had finished phone sex. I was a sweaty mess, I’ll need another shower. Once he got back, close to 9 pm he called me and he was already hard and ready to go. It didn’t seem like a good idea to ask him about the gym immediately if he was already halfway there. I dropped everything I was doing, I dropped my fork and made an excuse to leave the table and take the phone call, because I was in the middle of dinner with Jules, and Victor was out with his friend. Once I reached my room and got naked, I heard Jules saying that she’s gonna take a shower. We had about 30 minutes before she walks out and hears me. This time, the roles had changed. In his mind, he was bottoming for me, he was basically begging me to take him inside my own head. And I did it eventually, even though I felt differently but couldn’t really care nor did it matter, we were doing it over the phone. We were back at the hotel room, I blind folded him and took him while he was lying on his back first, and then he rode me, harder and faster. I was sweating a lot and awfully fast.

Somewhere in the middle I didn’t really feel up to it, didn’t think I’ll make it to the end. Maybe it was because I missed him and I’ve gotten used to having him physically and in front of me that phone sex was literally the baby stage of our relationship and how much we’ve progressed in the last four days. Or maybe it was because I didn’t feel comfortable with us switching roles. Or even because I missed him so much and I just wanted to listen to his voice and hear him talk about anything. I sucked it through and made it to the end.

We waited until we were both breathing normally to talk.

“Tough.” He breathed out.

I wanted to tell him told you so, maybe not the right time. He was doing this for the both of us.

“I needed time to get used to it all over again. It’s been…a year maybe, since the last time I’ve been there. It takes time getting used to.” He said and exhaled again.

“Yeah, no shit.” I chuckled.

“What have you been up to?”

“Sleeping. Eating. You actually interrupted my dinner when you called.”

“Oh did I? I didn’t know, sorry.” He’s teasing me, and I want to fire back.

“What did you expect? You called me and said “Are you in bed, I’m already hard.”, did you not see where that was going?” I breathed out, trying to sound annoyed but couldn’t. In the end, I laughed.

“I couldn’t take it. We talked about it and it popped in my head as soon as I walked in. Didn’t even feed the poor pup.” This was his defense.

“You’re an awful man! The dog first and then everything else.” I teased him.

“Yes, yes, yes, I’ll do that after I get up.”

“When are you gonna get up?” I asked him, already hating the fact that we’re gonna hang up soon.

“When you give me your permission.” He said.

Oh, what a surprise. Guess I’m in charge tonight again. The top and the dictator.

“Will he starve to death?” I asked him, running my fingers on my stomach, touching the cum and spreading it across the tips of my fingers.

“Nope. He’s got some treats.”

“Then don’t move.” I said and licked my own cum. It tasted different than his, and it tasted nothing like the time I’ve sucked my own cum out of him. One thing is sex, and the other thing is sex over the phone.

We continued talking for the next 15 minutes until my phone informed that the battery was running low. I told him that if I disconnect suddenly, it’s because of the battery.

“I’m going again in the morning.” He said after a while.

“Really?” I rolled my eyes. It was really unnecessary, he looks wonderful, and if I tell that to him again, he’s gonna think I’m saying just because he’s mine. It’s not true. Armie has an amazing body and if he were a total stranger to me and I’d get to see him naked in a men’s room, I’d still think he looks amazing, and hot, and then I’d stalk him until I can see him better.

“Aha. The faster I get used to it, the better.”

“Don’t pull a muscle.” I joked.

“I’ll try.”

I heard him smiled and breathe into the phone. Since we’re spending New Year together, I’m gonna make him take me back to his place and do me against the window. We still haven’t done that, and he did say he was gonna do it. It would truly be magical; us fucking against the glass door and everyone else celebrating downstairs. I shall remind him.

“And don’t forget, you still have the…”

And my phone shut off. It’s dead. The charger was far, far away from me.

I grunted once I got up and went straight to the shower. After I was done there, I looked around on my book shelf and picked one book that has been on my “to read” list since forever and began reading it while my phone was charging. Before I hit the pillow, I sent Armie a good night text and he responded immediately.

The next morning, I walked in on Jules and Victor talking about something and they shushed themselves as soon as they saw me walk in. They made it look very weird.

“Hey, Tim?” Victor called for me as I was putting on water for coffee.

“Yeah?” I turned around slowly, decided to answer carefully, wonder what he wants. He can see the hickey clearly, he doesn’t need to ask me about that. He can put two and two together. Yes, it’s a hickey, and yes, Armie put it there.

“Did you and Armie talk about where you’re going tonight?” He asked me.

“Um, out.” I said, trying not to give out more information.

“Where out?” Jules jumped in.

“A club.” I zipped my mouth shut.

They both scoffed.

“Spill it out Tim. Is it a gay club?”

“Maybe…why?” Did I blush or…

“Well, we had something reserved for tonight at 9 pm, at a restaurant, but we’re gonna go ahead and go to another party, at Jules’ friend’s house. She lives in a penthouse and just invited us.” Victor said, obviously very thrilled about their plans.

“Would you guys like the reservation?” Jules asked me with a smile.

Oh wow.

“Really?” I was surprised, indeed. I’m smiling.

“Yeah. We booked the table a month ago, and even then, there were only two tables left. It would be such a shame if it would go to waste.” Jules said and began scrolling on her phone.

“Yeah, that would be bad.” I nodded.

“I’ll send you the name of the place, if you decide to go.” Jules said as she was typing.

“If you guys want it, by all means, take it. The reservation is under the name Chalamet.”

“Okay, okay, thanks. I’ll um…I’ll talk to Armie soon and I’ll let you guys know.”

“Great.” Victor smiled and turned back to his coffee.

“Thanks.” I mentioned it once again.

Ten minutes later, I was dialing Armie’s number while holding a hot mug with my morning coffee. As soon as he picked up, I could hear loud music in the background.

“Armie?”

“Hey, good morning...” He sounded out of breath.

“Morning. Listen…where are you?”

“Gym.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes again.

“Why?” He breathed out.

“I have to ask you something, could you go anywhere private?”

“One sec, babe.”

I heard him moving, and once he did, the music in the background was barely there.

“Listen. Victor just told me they’re going to Jules’ friend’s party tonight, and they already reserved a table at a restaurant, and they don’t want to go to waste. It’s been booked for a month now. And they asked us if we would maybe want to go instead. The reservation is under my name, Chalamet.”

He was quiet, still trying to catch his breath.

“I know we talked about going out but…we can do that another time. What do you think?” I bit my lip, waiting for his answer.

“How about…uh…we go both ways?” He suggested.

“The dinner and the club?”

“Yeah, dinner and dancing.”

Hm, not bad Hammer. He’s really in the mood for some fun.

“Oh, okay, yeah…I didn’t even think of that.” I smiled, relaxed a bit.

“Besides, one thing is for sure, we have the table on at least one of those places.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” I chuckled and nodded my head.

“Okay, so…we’re good?” I could hear him smile as well.

“Mhm…”

“I’ll come by around…wait when is the reservation?” He chuckled.

“9 pm.”

“I’ll be there around 8 pm. Okay?”

“Fuck yeah.” I grinned.

“Okay, I have to go now. Talk to you later.”

And we hung up.

I went back to the kitchen and told them that we’re taking their table. I couldn’t have thanked them enough.

I started getting ready around 06:30 pm. I showered, yet again, and washed my hair really good this time. Funny how I haven’t showered or took care of my hygiene for four days, and now I’m on my third shower in two days. After that, I shaved, as much as I could see because I still had some baby hair on my upper lips. I even plugged my eyebrows, in the middle, so I don’t grow a unibrow like Victor when he was 15. Everyone made fun of him and I started the joke. Good times, I smiled to myself when I remembered it. Lesson learned. I learned not to mess with my brother and to plug my eyebrows from time to time. The mystery was that even though my entire body was sensitive to the exposure of minimal pressure, my face, however was not, at least my eyebrows. I was afraid I’d turn red from plugging them but I was fine. I cut my nails; toe nails and finger nails. It’s not like I’m gonna need them, and it’s not like he’s gonna notice it. I shaved a bit down there, just in case. I put some body lotion and a deodorant. I was fresh and cleaned.

While I was still walking around with a towel around my waist, I ironed what I wanted to wear. Jeans, a simple white shirt and a jacket from a suit over it. I wanted to look good, I really did. For him, for me…oh, this is why he goes to the gym. Fair enough, I won’t roll my eyes anymore when he mentions it. When everything was already on me, I checked myself out in the mirror. I looked good and I liked that I looked good. Armie’s gonna love it. He loves everything I do and wear and say. I managed to hide my hickey, but I loved it so much and I loved that it was so big and visible, and it’ll be fine hidden for one night. I combed my hair and twisted some curls. By looking at myself in the mirror I realized I needed to cut my hair as soon as possible, unless I wanted to grown them, then that would take most of the time styling them.

It was 08:04 pm when I was ready. Armie was nowhere to be found. Did he forget? Did he not see the time while he was getting ready? Was he on his way? I should just wait and not panic or cause a scene.

I didn’t even notice what time it was when I put my shoes on and set aside some money and my ID card. Will they let me inside the club if I’m not 21? I hope they will.

Jules and victor left around 15 minutes to 8 pm. We wished each other a happy night and said we’ll talk once the clock strikes midnight. Now I was alone. And waiting. Few seconds later, I called him. As his phone was ringing, I kept thinking that he’s coming, but he’ll be late because of the traffic, and it was a true chaos outside. He’s not answering. I texted him. No answer. I called him six times, and gave up. I put my jacket on, locked the door and headed to his place, walking.

There were people everywhere, it was insane. It’s always like this during these holidays but people were in such a rush to celebrate the welcoming of 2020 so hard. It was cold, and it was snowing. If it wasn’t for a lot of people outside, it would’ve been very quiet.

I had to pass each and every one of them, constantly excusing myself. In normal circumstances, I had about 13 minutes to his place. Now, it will take much longer. I kept calling him the entire way there, hoping he’d pick up and tell me he’s coming, he’s inside a traffic.

Or…he doesn’t want to go.

I shook my head to myself, thinking how we are not like that anymore. We do not avoid, we do not hide, we do not keep secrets. If he didn’t want to go to a gay club, he should’ve just said so. But he was really up and ready for it. No, something else is wrong. I promised him that if he ever hurts me the way that he hurt me days ago, I will kick him out of my life sooner than he’d ever seen it coming. This time, I will not regret it.

Armie’s not like that anymore. He loves me, he adores me, he showed me that himself this weekend. It was perfect. Armie would never stood me up but now…he stood me up. There is something else going on here.

I reached his place at around 08:40 pm. There were no lights on when I looked up at his window. But it was a tall building, and he was on the fifth floor. I got inside the elevator, I was by myself. Weird, I expected a lot more people inside it, but no, it was just me.

I knocked on his door. No answer. I didn’t wanna do this again, once was more than enough. This time I went over my way by coming to his door. I knocked again and still nothing. If he was really there, I’d hear some movement on the inside as he’d be walking to unlock the door. I rang the doorbell instead. Archie made a sound. He barked. That means Armie’s home, he wouldn’t go anywhere without Archie especially because they’ve been separated for four days now. I had a key to his apartment if I wanted to get in just as easily, but I didn’t want to, I wanted him to answer the door. I wasn’t mad that he practically stood me up. I was confused. Where are you Armie?

Few seconds later I rang again, and this time a lot longer. Two minutes later, I could hear him unlocking the door.

He looked like shit when he opened the door. His hair was a mess, he had under eye shadow, he looked swollen. He was wearing a gray shirt, sweatpants and he was squinting and rubbing his eyes.

“Tim? What are you doing here?” He yawned.

Oh thank God. I was partly relieved that he was here and that he’s been sleeping the entire time, and was not stooding me up for our night out. But this was now a problem. We had less than 20 minutes to reach the restaurant or we can say goodbye to the table.

“What the fuck Armie?” I shook my head once he opened the door.

He was silent for a second and then remembered.

“Oh, shit, the dinner…fuck, I’m sorry, I fell asleep. I am so, so, so sorry. Please, come in.” Instant regret shined across his face, he slammed his head against the door frame. He fucked up.

I walked inside and walked pass him. I was mad and confused and relieved, all sorts of emotions.

“It doesn’t matter, we’ll lose the reservation if we don’t show up in the next 10 minutes. Might as well give up.” I said while taking my jacket off.

“No, I’m sorry, please. Fuck…” He breathed out. He was truly sorry.

“You were asleep?” I asked him as we were walking inside his living room.

He kept turning all the lights on. Once he did, I noticed he had decorated the place with holiday and winter vibes. He had a small tree in the corner. Armie must’ve settled everything yesterday or today because he didn’t have it earlier.

“Mhm.”

“The entire time?” I added.

“Yeah, the entire time. I switched my phone off and I wanted to set the alarm but I fell asleep with my phone in my hand. Tim, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine.” I looked away, trying not to look pissed. But I was. Now I am pissed. We made a deal and he slept it through.

“We can still make it. I’ll just go wash my face, brush my teeth and we can go.” He said as he was already making his way into the bathroom.

“Get your hair ready too.” I added after him.

“Yeah, that too.”

It’s not like his teeth and the face are the biggest problems. He still had to pick out something to wear, maybe shave, shower, wash his hair, drive us there…this is not going as i expected it to go.

And he never said anything about me and how I looked. I did it all for him, i dressed up nicely so that he can see me. Maybe he’ll say something when he gets out. I am sure he will. Armie never misses an opportunity to compliment me and my looks. I am beautiful to him, and when he says it, I believe him.

He ran into the bathroom to get ready. I was slowly giving up on our dinner. We can still make it to the club. He looked weird. That was probably from sleeping, but he didn’t look, act or talk normal. He didn’t even hug me or kissed me when I walked in.

While he was getting ready, I heard him shiver out loud because of the cold water. This is not how we planned, this was not how our night was supposed to be. I feel like shit, honestly. We either didn’t plan well or we had high expectations. Maybe we jinxed it. Maybe we really jinxed it by accepting the table from these two.

We had big plans for tonight and they’re slowly falling apart. I wanted to cry. It was easy to blame him, because it was his fault, but I didn’t have the hearts to do it.

Archie climbed on the couch next to me, I pet him for a while. It felt nice.

Armie was still getting ready and in the meantime, I took a tour around his place. I went straight to the bedroom and the first thing that hit me once I opened the door, was a very thick smell of alcohol. My eyes teared up immediately. Was he drinking? Was he getting drunk before our night and got wasted and fell asleep? Would he risk it so much after getting turned on to go to the gym? Probably not. Definitely not. I walked inside and saw a bottle of alcohol, pure alcohol, 70% ethanol on the night stand, next to his bed. And next to it, I saw a thermometer.

Oh my fucking God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	51. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The New Year's eve continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! I know you were all waiting for this chapter as will answer all your questions from the latest one. So, here it is. I don't wanna say anything else, enjoy it, hope you'll like it and let me know your thoughts in the comments. Stay safe and take care!❤️

I stood there holding a digital thermometer, too scared to turn it on to see the measurements. Eventually, I put it down and grabbed the bottle of ethanol in my hands, it looked like it was just recently opened. His bed was unmade and a mess, there was also a warm air coming from it that collided with the smell of evaporating alcohol. I lifted the covers and felt the warmth and the smell almost blinded me again. I found a wash cloth that reeked of alcohol. He was trying to take it down, but it probably fell off of him while he was asleep. Funny that he chose ethanol to take the fever down, it’s what we were taught to use. Also, I kinda hoped he was doing some cleaning and…that doesn’t explain the thermometer and the cloth soaked in ethanol in his bed. I felt like crying. I felt like shit, but I wanted to cry too. He has some explaining to do.

I walked out of the bedroom and headed for the bathroom where he was getting ready, rushing, thinking I was gonna let him out if he indeed is running a fever.

Armie took his shirt off and was putting on deodorant. I could see that he was visibly shaking. I stood by the door frame. The need to hug him and protect him almost overpowered me.

“Armie?”

“I’ll be ready in a minute.” He said, looking at me in the mirror. He didn’t look good. I felt bad for him. Can’t imagine how he must’ve been feeling.

“Look at me.” I spoke softly.

He stopped what he was doing and turned around. None of us had a good look on our faces. I’ve never seen him like this, he looked so sick.

“Why is there a thermometer in your room? And why does your room reek of alcohol?” I crossed arms over my chest.

Armie breathed out.

“Shit…” He whispered and looked away from me.

“Are you running a fever?” I asked him.

He looked up.

“I was today.” He said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to ruin the night.” He breathed out rubbing his face.

He really does not look good, and I bet he feels even worse because he “ruined the night”.

“Bullshit. You’re not well. You can’t go.” I bit back.

“I still can…”

“You can’t.”

“I can.”

“No.” I put my foot down. He can’t win here.

“Tim, you can’t order me around, I know when I can do something.”

He’s trying to be serious, but also making it look like just because he’s older than me, that means he’s always right. In this case, he’s wrong.

“Fine, you go. I’m not going out with you like that.” I said. My teeth hurt so much from grinding them. The last thing I need is for him to piss me off.

“Because I don’t look good?” He chuckled.

“No. Because you’re sick. And you can get even sicker if you out into the cold night.”

“I’m not, I…”

I interrupted him.

“If you go, then you’ll be ruining the night yourself.”

Armie parted his lips to say something but nothing came out, so he closed them pretty soon.

“You’d be shivering, like you are now. And in pain, like you are now. Burning up, like you are now. And I’d be watching you suffer, and torture yourself, and puff…there goes our night.” I said.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll just take something for the pain and we can go.”

“The fuck you’re not. Lemme feel you.” I took one step closer to him.

“Tim, there’s no need…”

He silenced when I got closer to him, raised my body on the tips of my toes and put my lips against his forehead. I pushed my body against his so our chests were touching. I could’ve done it with my hand but I craved to touch his skin even in these awful times. My lips were on fire.

“You’re burning up.” I breathed out looking at him, still holding his face in my hands. Under no circumstances did I want to let go of him. I’d rather curl up and cry because he’s suffering and he’s in pain, but most of all, because he’s a stubborn idiot.

“I know. That’s why I didn’t hug you when you came here. Or you would feel how warm I am.” Armie’s refusing to look me in the eyes. I swear, if he’s crying, his tears are already evaporating because he was so warm.

“And for how long were you planning on hiding this from me?” I asked him and let go of his heavy head. It was insane how warm he was, it made me sweat too.

He’s silent, leaning against the sink.

“For as long as it took.” I finally said.

“You’re an idiot. It wouldn’t have worked.”

I felt defenseless, didn’t know what to do. Armie was not either looking good or feeling good. It tore my heart but we have bigger problems now.

“Do you know how you got sick?” I asked him. Maybe I could’ve gotten it from him while we were in the hotel. Maybe it’s something he ate. He did go out to buy us snacks while I stayed in the room and talked to mama.

“Um…maybe…”

His voice was high pitched. This can not be good.

“I may or may not have gotten out of the gym with a wet hair.”

I wanted to strangle him when he said it out loud.

“You didn’t…” I scoffed.

“I couldn’t find my car at first. I was looking for it for maybe five minutes. When I did, I drove here and…my hair was still wet once I got out.”

He said and looked away.

“But I dried it off when I got here, I promise.” He added.

“You’re an idiot, oh my God. Why didn’t you dry your hair?” I spread my hands while asking a question, raising my voice.

“They didn’t have the blow dryer there.” Was his defense.

“Then why didn’t you bring one?”

“I thought they’re gonna have it there.”

I hate this so much. I exhaled, frustrated and pissed off.

“Fuck…okay, never mind. Stop what you’re doing, you’re going back to bed.” I put my foot down.

“No, we’re going out.” He removed himself from the sink and was about to reach for his tooth brush.

“I am not going out with you looking like that.”

“I’ll be fine.” He grunted looking me in the mirror. He was shivering again.

“Bed! Now!” I didn’t even recognize my own voice, my own tune when I yelled at him to go back to bed.

Armie turned around in shock. Did he think I was kidding? Probably. But I was dead serious. This is not a joke to me.

“I don’t wanna hear it!” I yelled again and he squirmed and put the tooth brush down.

“Tim, please…” He raised his hands to calm me down.

“NOW!”

Armie’s eyes widened and suddenly, he was put in a defense mode. He was scared. I really hope I looked scary because I was furious. I was so fucking pissed at him for toying with his health, for going to the gym in December, getting sweaty, going out with his wet hair, and on top of all that, he tried to hide that from me. I could’ve just…ugh…someone needs to be the sane one here and it’s not gonna be him. Fuck dinner, fuck the club, fuck everything. He is sick and he needs to get better. Everything else can wait.

“Okay, okay, okay. No need for…”

He tried walking away from me.

“Of course there is need for this!” I grunted through my teeth.

We walked back into his bedroom, he walked in front of me, just in case he decided to escape. It almost felt like I was holding a gun to his head. Once we were in there, he turned on the lamp next to his bed and grabbed his phone.

“I’ll call you a cab.” He said and began scrolling through his phone.

“What for?”

“To go…home, to the restaurant, wherever you want to go.”

“You’re a real jerk if you think I’m going anywhere.” He’s really annoying me now.

“Just because I’m sick and can’t go, does not mean you should not still go out and have fun. You social life doesn’t have to suffer because of me.”

“I don’t want to go out and have fun if you’re sick, you hear me? I’m staying right here.” I fired back and took away the phone from his hand. He had my picture on as his wallpaper, and 12 missed calls from me, and 5 messages.

“Tim, no you’re…”

“I am. Now zip it.”

Armie realized there was no point in fighting with me so he did just that, he gave up, he stopped talking, stopped complaining. What’s done is done, there is no going back. We are not going out, I am staying here with him.

He sat on the bed, looking defeated. I opened his closet and was looking for long sleeved pajamas. He didn’t help me at all, he was silent the whole time, probably regretting it all. He should’ve known the gym was a bad idea the second I disagreed with him. He should listen to me. Everyone should listen to me.

I may be small but I know some things.

I took some pajamas out and showed it to him.

“Will these work?”

“Yeah, whatever.” He looked away.

I stood above him, between his legs and helped him put a shirt on. Pushing his head through a hole and then his arms as well. He was trying to be strong and not cry out in pain. I know what it’s like when you’re having a fever, every single bone hurts.

“You look good by the way.” He said and smiled for the first time that night.

“Thanks.” I smiled back.

“I noticed it once you walked in. Don’t think I did. You look beautiful.”

I know.

“And a beauty like that deserves to go out and have fun.” He added while I was unbuttoning his pajama shirt.

“Yeah, well…this beauty has more important things to take care of than have fun.”

His smile was long gone now. But he doesn’t need the critic show now, he needs to rest and heal.

To make him feel better, I stood closer between his legs and began caressing his hair, still holding his pajama top in my hands.

“I have to look after my idiot sick boyfriend who tried to hide from me that he’s sick.” I said and smiled, I truly meant that.

Armie pulled me closer and cupped my hips. It’s nice seeing him letting go and giving it all to me. Again, I’m in charge here.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed out into my tummy. God, he was so warm.

The air was so thick from his heat and the alcohol.

“You don’t need to apologize to me, or at all.” I said, still caressing his hair.

He was still silent. He feels terrible now, I know him.

“It doesn’t matter to me that you’re sick. I hate that you tried to hide it. What if something bad happened to you while we were out? What if you’ve gotten even more sick? Or passed out? What would I be doing then? Call 911 or take you to the ER on my back? All the lines are crowded, there’s not a single cab that is empty tonight.”

“I know, I know…ah…”

He nodded. Armie needs to know that he doesn’t have to be tough all the time around me. It doesn’t matter that he’s the older one, the taller one, or the stronger one. He’s allowed to crack and show his flaws and his weaknesses. I don’t care about that. Not one bit. I adore him despite all of his flaws and virtues.

I’ve seen him being emotional and in tears, I’ve seen him at his best, at his worst, at his finest. He’s allowed to be weak and take a break. He’s still my protector any way we turn it.

“I am staying here with you.” I said, breaking the silence.

“What if I’m contagious?”

“Then don’t kiss me.”

He looked up.

“But I really want to kiss you, you know that?” He tried forcing himself to smile.

“I do.”

“Because you look so fucking beautiful. You look so fucking ready to live, so ready to be taken, and kissed and fucked. instead you’re staying here, taking care of me…”

“If you don’t get better, I won’t be having anyone else to fuck then.”

I hope he understand that I am joking.

“Loyalty, Armie. Loyalty.”

He nodded his head. I think sex was the last thing on his mind, he was more worried about me going out.

“And I was so hoping to fuck you up against the window.” He whispered.

“I knew you’d remember that.”

We smiled at each other. I hate that he’s like this, that’s all. The night is not ruined. He could never ruin the night for me. Come to think of it, I didn’t even want to go out. The place didn’t matter, just as long as I am with him,

“You look beautiful Tim.”

“You said that already.”

“I know but…fuck I’m such a jerk…” Armie grunted and closed his eyes.

“You’re not a jerk, you’re sick.”

“And I am sick because I was a jerk.”

Well…yeah…and no.

“Imagine if I took you out like that tonight. Girls and guys would be so fucking envious of me. I wouldn’t hesitate to show them you’re mine.” He breathed out. I can see he already planned out what our night would look like, but that doesn’t matter now. He’s my number one priority.

“Hey, look at me.”

Armie looked up at me again. He was still swollen and shaking.

“You’re gonna be fine. And I will try my best to look this good all the time for you.”

“You always look good. But you look especially good tonight.”

We stopped talking and I helped him put on the pajamas. I buttoned the shirt and helped him get out of his sweatpants and put on the pajama bottoms.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed, big guy.” I said as soon as he was dressed and ready to hit the pillows.

I undid the bed and held his body as much as I could while he was lying down. I covered him and kneeled next to the bed. As soon as he lied down, he began shaking awfully a lot. He’s giving up. No more tough guy act, no matter the strength and the size.

I was staring at him, caressing his hot cheek.

“You sure you wanna stay here? Don’t you have other friends you can hang out with tonight.”

“I do. But I already told them I made plans for tonight.” I smiled.

Which was true. Couple of them invited me to their house parties and after telling two of them that I’ve already made plans, I had to tell the next three that I’ll be out and I’ll probably drop by later on. It’s better like that.

“Do they know about me?”

“No. They know nothing. I haven’t seen them since school ended.”

Which was also true. I’ve been so busy being with him every minute of every day that I let my friends fall short in my life. I shouldn’t have done that, I wouldn’t want to lose them. I’ll call them next year and try to arrange a meeting with them. I haven’t seen them since that party where…yeah, we also do not like to remind ourselves about that night.

But I would like to tell them about Armie. Maybe they’ll support it, maybe not, who cares. I’m looking after myself first.

“That’s my fault, I’m sorry.” He chuckled. Finally, something positive.

“Oh, stop apologizing. You’re starting to annoy me.” I rolled my eyes and he got the message.

Armie nodded and this was the end to it all.

“How about a cup of tea?” I suggested instead.

He nodded again.

“I’ll be back in five minutes. Don’t fall asleep on me.”

“I’ll try.” He smiled.

“You wanna eat something? It could be a good change.”

Armie shook his head and tried his best not to fall asleep.

I went to the kitchen and put on water for two cups of tea. I still needed time finding my own way around his place, especially the kitchen.

And exactly five minutes later, I came back to his room with two cups of tea. Luckily, he wasn’t asleep. I helped him sit and gave him his cup.

In the meantime, I took my shoes off, my shirt and my jeans. Feeling so free, I opened his closet and looked around for a shirt I can wear and sleep in, and, hopefully, take it home with me. Once I was dressed, I took his clothes that he wore earlier and put them in a laundry basket. Armie was following my every move.

“What time is it?” He asked, slowly sipping his hot tea.

I looked at my phone from the night stand.

“10:05 pm.” I said.

“Less than two hours to go.”

I nodded.

“I can’t believe I’m in a bed, before midnight, on New Year’s eve. Who gets sick on this night, damn?” Armie grunted.

“This doesn’t count. You’re sick, everything is justified.”

Few minutes later, I joined him underneath the covers and we drank tea together. We clunk our mugs and drank it together.

After he finished the tea, I took his temperature. It was high, he was burning up. I got out of the bed and went to the bathroom to get some towels. Luckily, I found wash cloths, it was exactly what I needed. I soaked one with water and went back to the room. Armie was still shaking, he was covered up to his chin. I helped him lift up some sleeves and exposed his chest. I walked around to his side and soak the cloth with alcohol he already used before and I rubbed it over his chest, legs and arms. He was cold and shaking, but he’ll feel better soon. The cloth that I wetted, I put it on his forehead. This should get the fever down. If it still stays the same in the next two hours, I will have to call mom and ask her what to do. This is what she taught me and how to work in situation when there’s a fever. I’ll have to wash his arms and legs with alcohol from time to time. Then I remembered what mom once did when I was sick years ago. I got up again and found a pair of socks inside his closet, soaked them up with ethanol and put them on his feet. It works like a charm. The smell blinded me so much I had to open the window only by a bit.

As soon as I covered him up, Armie fell asleep. He was still shaking and it broke my heart whenever he’d shake underneath the covers.

I didn’t really have much to do, and I wasn’t tired or sleepy. I was really looking forward to at least dance with him in a crowded room where nobody will judge us, and then this happened. It’s not the right time pointing fingers and it’s not alright pointing fingers at all. Either way, wherever I am, I am glad I’m with him; whether it was a fancy restaurant, a loud night club, or a silent night with him by my side.

I still couldn’t wrap my mind around how a man of his size managed to get sick by walking out with wet hair. I thought Armie could defeat everything, and I’m sure he still can, he just stumbled upon a minor step back, nothing too serious, it’s not so bad, he’s gonna be fine in couple of days. I love him for trying, I love him for playing the tough guy in the weakest moments of his life. He doesn’t need to act that way around me, he knows that as well, but maybe having someone as tiny as me by his side awakes the urges of being my protector and it hit him hard.

I touched his forehead again, he was still warm. I wish I could take away his pain.

I went over the books he had on the nightstand and as I was listing one, something fell out. It was my polaroid picture, the first one he ever took. I looked ridiculous but Armie was using it to remember where he stopped while reading. Wonder where are the other pictures. Hidden. As they should be.

I went to the bathroom and when I got back, Armie opened his eyes.

“Hey…” I whispered.

Armie rubbed his eyes.

“Ah, how long was I out?” He breathed out, his eyes were still closed.

“Fifteen minutes maybe.” I whispered.

“Shit. It felt longer.”

“I know.”

Oh, my poor gentle giant.

"Could you please set an alarm 5 minutes to midnight if we fall asleep? I don't wanna miss the fireworks and wishing you a happy new year." He spoke softly, already planned this out.

I nodded and did as he said. I set it for 23:55.

“Lie down with me, please?” He opened his eyes and said this.

I did as he asked me to, facing him. I was caressing his warm cheeks and touching his beard. I love that he’s growing it.

We were silent, staring at each other.

“I’m sorry I ruined New Year.” He eventually said.

“You didn’t ruin it. The entire world is celebrating it differently. This is our way. And why be like the rest, when we can stand out?” I smiled widely.

He hummed and smiled as well.

“As you can see…the world hadn’t stopped. You hear the crowd?”

He did. We both did.

“Yeah, I get that…I still feel bad tho.”

I really didn’t know how to respond to that.

“You know what? You don’t know this, but…when I was maybe 12 and still living with my mom, and as New Year was approaching, she said that I should throw a party for couple of friends, no more than five and we should all celebrate it together. I thought this was only allowed or being done in the movies. When a parent tells you to throw a party, you automatically think about disco lights, loud music, lots of people, lots of alcohol and food. Instead, I got the party I liked. I invited four of my buddies, we all shared the expenses, bought food and juices, sodas, and all that. And it was good, we all had fun. The next year, I did the same, and the next one after that, and two more after that. Every party was at my place, same people, same food, same drinks, same atmosphere. Until I turned 17 and didn’t want a party anymore. Because before anyone started inviting people, I was the first one to do it. That year, I didn’t move a muscle, I waited for them to invite me and they did. We were at one friend’s house and then the other’s and later on, we went to another party in some sort of club but they ended up not letting me in because I was under 21. So were they, we were all practically minors and yet, the guy at the door said I looked younger than 17 and kicked me out. They went ahead and partied without me while I walked back home at 4 am. Next year, the same. Same people, same route, same music, same…everything was the same. And now, this year, right now…we had big plans that didn’t follow through, they fell apart. Dinner and dancing. And this is the first time in 7 years of celebrating that I actually love where I am. I love that there’s us two, no food, no drinks, well, except for the tea, no music, no outing, no ID check up. So, yeah, this is a different type of celebration. And you didn’t ruin it. I believe everything is going according to plans. Someone’s plans in fact. And this New Year, I’ll remember for the rest of my life. Because I am celebrating it with someone I adore.” I finished my talk and saw him smile.

“That’s nice.” Armie whispered.

“I see you like it. You’re finally smiling.”

“Because I have you. And I don’t need anything else right now.” Armie breathed out and was caressing my cheek.

“Same here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These methods really do work in getting the fever down. I remember having patients where we'd literally use half of bottle of ethanol soaking gasses and putting on their bodies, legs and arms especially. The heat will dry the alcohol away. The one with the socks, we use it all the time at home, we don't use ethanol but a traditional Serbian alcohol drink called rakija. When i was younger, i was sick all the time, and we used the socks+rakija thing, also, my mom would put vinegar and corn starch in my socks to get the fever down, it turned my feet into cemented shoes but it worked. Also, mustard on feet, bathing in rakija and putting newspaper all over the body (in the morning i could read yesterday's news from my legs because the letters were imprinted on my skin), that's basically it. We use rakija for everything, especially while cleaning smudges of silver and as a disinfection. And yes, years ago, i spiked a fever one day before NY and hid it from my mom and went out anyway. It was a bad move on my part but i had fun. And i was sick for days afterwards, but i had fun lol.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	52. Love song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year's even continues once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Hope your Saturday is going great. Please stay safe and take care. This is going to be the last chapter for a while now because i haven't started writing anything just yet. Maybe i'll post tomorrow or in two days, i don't know. I'll figure it out along the way but i will try not to let you wait up to 4 days max. Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and let me know your thoughts in the comments!!❤️

The bed shaking suddenly woke me up. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw and heard Armie running off somewhere. Before I made it out of the bed, I heard the bathroom door slam shut.

I have to go after him. Archie followed me but he wasn’t my concern at the moment.

The door was closed, but it wasn’t locked. For all I know, he might be doing his business and wanted some privacy. But why jump out like that? He freaked me out.

I knocked on the door.

“Armie?” I called for him.

And then I heard an awful sound echoing from the bathroom. Poor guy, he’s throwing up. He’s done it again, and twice more before I just gave up on all rights to privacy and walked in. His hands were around the toilette, he was kneeling as he was throwing up. It must be just fluid because he hasn’t eaten anything in hours. I stood above him and held his forehead. Armie was sweating. There were no words, nothing I could say or do to make this go away. I remember when I was drunk and threw up in the street, and he was there, holding my hair back and giving me his support.

He tried pushing me away a few times but there was no use, I was stronger than Him. his body is going through real chaos right now, he was limp and tired, he can’t win here, his body is fighting against the fever, he’s weak. I don’t know whether he wanted me to leave him so that he could be alone, or he didn’t want me watching him while he was throwing up. Whatever his reasons were, I was not going anywhere.

“You shouldn’t be here…” He breathed out.

I tried shushing him.

“You shouldn’t be here, watching me vomit…” He cried out.

I let a tear down myself.

“You shouldn’t have stayed Tim…ooh fuck…”

And he jumped to it again.

In between takes, he was just spitting and breathing heavily. I took another wash cloth, wet it and began tapping it on the back of his neck, behind his ear and on his forehead.

Armie pushed me away again and turned around to catch a breath. I’ve never seen him like this.

“You shouldn’t be here! You never should’ve come, fuck…I’m such a jerk. A piece of shit, nothing more! You deserve so much better. So much better than me. You don’t deserve to look at me while I’m like this, it’s disgusting and humiliating. A young man…like you…you’d be so much better off without me. I’m on the fucking rock bottom. You deserve the world. And a man that’s not weak like me. Oh…” He turned around once again and continued throwing up. And I continued refreshing him even after his nasty words.

where is all of this coming from? This self-hatred and self-loathing…why is he even thinking like that?

He spat one last time and turned around, leaning against the toilette. I walked over and put the lid on and flushed it.

We’re quiet now. He’s not looking at me. I am. And all I can see are those words written all over his face. I hate that he had to go there. I hate that he feels the need to belittle himself just because he’s out of his element and is sick.

“Better now?” I crawled to him and brushed his face with a cold wash cloth again. Wanting him to know that I completely ignored every single word he blurted out because we both knew that he didn’t mean a single thing he said. He exhaled because the cold water felt good on his skin.

“Yeah, maybe a little.”

I rushed to the kitchen to get a glass so that I can fill it up with water.

“Here…drink it up. Slowly.” I handed it to him.

He nodded his head and took one sip.

“I need to brush my teeth.” He said afterwards. I bet the acid is awful but it’s not a smart move.

“Oh…um…I don’t think it’s a good idea to shove something inside your mouth after throwing up. And besides water, you need to avoid everything else for the next two hours.” I said.

He nodded and continued drinking it bit by bit still doing his best to catch a breath. His pajamas were soaking wet. The fever is going down.

“Where did you learn all of this?” He asked me as I was again soaking the cloth.

“What do you think?” I turned around to smirk.

“Oh, exactly. She taught you well.”

I refreshed him again and he liked it.

We stayed like that, silent, kneeling and staring at each other.

“What time is it?” He asked me again.

“I don’t know. But it’s not midnight. There would be a bigger crowd outside.”

“That’s true.” He nodded looking at me.

“You feeling better?” I asked him.

“Yeah, actually, a lot better.”

I’m sure he does.

“You wanna talk?” I suggested instead. Since it’s obvious there is so much to get out.

“About what?” He frowned, and then yawned. His organism is exhausting him.

“Since it’s the end of the year and we’re about to walk into a new one together and soon, let’s just…let everything out.”

“I think I just did.” He nodded towards the toilette behind us.

I chuckled and he followed me on it pretty soon.

“No, ha. I meant…”

“I know, I know. And I’m in.”

“I see there’s a lot to say on your part.” I pointed out to the most obvious thing at the moment.

“I’m just…I’m…this isn’t how this night was supposed to go, Tim. We had plans. Great plans and I was looking forward to them. I wanted to take you out in the city, hold your hand, dance with you and kiss you at midnight and I wanted for everyone to see what a fucking lucky guy I am. I swear, we didn’t even step into the gay club and I know already they would’ve been all over you. Have you seen yourself? You’re like an angel. And you have a beautiful soul and a kind heart, you’re so smart and funny and stubborn and you…well, you need to be disciplined sometimes. And right now…I am everything opposite. I don’t feel like you deserve me, I don’t feel like you should be here, watching me hurl. But…maybe that’s just me thinking like that now. I’ll probably be better in the morning.”

The way his words and sentences changed, from bad to good, from me to him, from happy to depressing, and he finished it off with a reality check that all of this is just his fever talking. And he can’t take that. He can’t take the fact that something inside of him is making him so weak and it’s making him feel bad about himself. Yes, he will be better in the morning. Or in couple of minutes.

I moved closer to him, searching and finding his hand, squeezing it tightly.

“It offends me as a person and as your significant other when you say stuff like that. Because I…oh my God…I fucking worship you. No matter what Armie, no matter what. How do you not get that? This, what you’re going through, is normal. I’ve been there, it’s not easy but it will pass. You just picked a good moment to self-loathe which I don’t believe in every word you said. You’re just tired and weak and this is why all of this is coming out to the surface.”

I looked away, his eyes are on me, I can feel them.

“And I don’t mind it, I don’t mind taking care of you. We did say in sickness and in health.” I said and managed to bring out a smile out of me and him.

“We did?” He squinted his eyes and looked at me as if he’s trying to remember when did we say this. We never did but it felt like we did. He smiled.

“We did.” I nodded.

“Those are marital vows.”

“Doesn’t matter. We have our own. In fact, we should make our own vows.” I suggested.

Armie nodded and yawned again. I understand, this is not the time or the place for this. His energy is too low to even hold my hand.

“Can I tell you something?” I spoke after a while.

“Anything.”

“When you didn’t pick up, or answered my texts and the door at first, my mind raced back to you avoiding me and…the worst thing that is possible in a relationship. But no, I shook it off and said that we’re not like that anymore, that we’ve both changed a lot, we do not role that way anymore. And I felt beyond relieved when you opened the door and when you were alive.” I exhaled at the end. I like being completely honest with him. It’s just layer after layer after layer peeling off every time one of us feels so openly vulnerable.

“I don’t even…I don’t even know how people can do that. Cheat. Cheat on the person they love. I mean, I did it once, as a kid, I was like…18 maybe. I only made out with a girl because I was drunk, and that was not an excuse. But back then nothing was serious, we did not love each other. I did confront her about that the next day and she said she’s not okay with that but will get over it. The next day she sent me a picture of her and some random ass guy she picked at a night club and hooked up with him. Guess she was just seeking her revenge. And I got cheated on first by a girl I lost my virginity to. But like I said, we did not love each other, we just cared for one another, nothing more. I knew there was no future there. She was older than me.” Armie rubbed his face, remembering that incident. It sucks, but like he said, they were young and nothing was yet serious. I remembered when he told me about that girl that cheated after they slept together for the first time.

He continued talking.

“I could never do it now. Not at this age, where I’m a serious man with a serious job, living on my own. And definitely not to you, and to myself, because I actually like the person that I am right now. I’d rather kill myself than do it.”

“That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” I hummed after listening to him.

“It is. But I’d be throwing away everything. One little mistake and I can kiss goodbye everything I’ve accomplished by this point. And I’d be damned for good because I’d be losing you. And I can’t let that happen.” He looked up at me and held my hand, trying to squeeze it as tightly as possible.

It made me sad that he looked the way that he did; obviously sweating, greasy hair, swollen face, puffy lips. The way I described his features in my head is the same way he looked exactly like this after sex. Only now, he was visibly sick and no one could deny that.

“Me too. I don’t…I’m trying to piece the puzzle, what was my life before you and…it just…I can’t really tell because I’m young, I’m still going to school and still evolving in a way. Maybe it’s too soon for me to talk about my life in that way…”

He interrupted me.

“You’re an adult and you’re smart. And smart people go deep, really deep, about everything. Including the talks about their lives.”

I nodded and inhaled.

“Yeah, that’s true. But I fell hard for you Armie. Really hard. And to lose that…unacceptable.”

“Unacceptable, exactly.”

We looked at each other. His eyes fell immediately to my lips, I know what he wanted to do, but I couldn’t let him. If he gets me sick, he’s gonna hate himself afterwards.

“Come on. My ass is killing me.” He grunted through a chuckle.

I followed him on a chuckle and got up first, giving him my hands to lift him up as much as I could. At this moment, I was the stronger one.

“You sure you’re done?” I asked him.

“Yeah.”

“You feel better?”

“A lot better, yeah.”

Armie rubbed his face again as I stood there in front of him, adjusting his pajama and a shirt underneath it.

“God, I wanna kiss you so badly.” He breathed out.

“It will all be worth it once you feel better for good. Trust me.”

He breathed out with a smile and leaned his forehead against mine. I could feel that he was hot. This reminded me a lot when we almost kissed in the hallway of my building, right before Victor interrupted us. This was such a crazy urge, how badly we wanted to kiss but we couldn’t. It was right there, so close, yet so far. However, if we do engage into locking our lips, there really is no say in whether I will get sick as well, not 100%. I could, I could be not, or I could and get even sicker. There is no way to find out but it’s better to prevent it than risk it afterwards.

“Lemme feel you.” I whispered raising my eyes to look at him. He should’ve known that I already knew how much he was on fire but wanted to kiss his forehead so damn much.

He nodded and moved away a bit, then I raised my body on my toes and pressed my lips against his forehead again.

“I’m burning up.” He said.

“Yeah.”

I nodded and took him by the waist, holding his arm. He hugged my shoulders.

“Come on, I’ll soak the cloths again.” I said.

He really didn’t have any take on this, this was all me, I am the one who’s in charge here, and I was starting to like it. He’s not complaining because he knows I know what’s best for him. He reeked of alcohol and was burning up next to me, it was like standing so close to the fire that I was sweating myself.

The first thing I did once we walked back was to change his shirt. Luckily, he had a full closet of them. And on another luck, the pajama top wasn’t that wet. I put it on the radiator to dry off and helped him take the sweaty shirt off. The cloth that was on his forehead was still a bit wet so I wiped the sweat off of chest and his stomach, arms and armpits with it. Armie was sitting on the bed and he would breathe out, out of sheer weakness. Whether he liked this or not, I didn’t care. He must’ve felt bad that I had to take care of him like this, that he couldn’t do the simplest things on his own like wiping the sweat or putting on a shirt. I saw nothing bad in this. One day, God forbid, I can get sick and, if he’s still around, he’d be the one rushing and taking care of me, panicking and watching after me, I just know it. I’ve seen him react to my tears, I just know that he’d blow up the entire place just to be there for me and help me get better.

Before putting him to bed I soaked the same cloths with alcohol and rubbed his arms and legs and pushed a hand inside his shirt to rub his chest since I forgot to do that before putting his shirt on and I didn’t want to torture him again by removing his clothes. Once I was done, I bent over to close the bottle, but Armie stopped me. He grabbed my hands in his and pulled me towards him. I stood between his legs and his hands were grasping my thighs and pulling them towards him. I spread my legs and kneeled on his lap, feeling so bad for crushing him.

“Armie…” I breathed out against his hair, already removing his hands from my body, grasping onto his shoulders.

“No, no, no, please…I need you.” He whispered against my tummy. I got shivers as soon as I felt his hot breath on my skin, going through the shirt.

“We can’t…”

“We’re not gonna…I just need to feel you.”

That’s when he pulled me closer to him and pushed his hands underneath the shirt I was wearing. His hands were boiling hot and I clenched my muscles when he began lifting it up and when he placed his face against my skin. Armie inhaled whatever he needed; my scent, his scent, whatever he needed.

I moaned softly, giving up as well. Let him. If he’s gonna feel better after touching my skin, let him. Can’t do no harm. I stopped fighting back and gave in completely, caressing his hair and breathing against his forehead.

“Armie…”

“I love you.” He looked up at me and spoke softly.

Then he turned his head back to my tummy and kissed it.

“I love you too, you little monster.” He exhaled and smiled as he was kissing my skin and showing his love to our child.

I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s back, sort of. But this was nice.

“We both love you.” I said eventually.

“What a dream that would be huh?” He kissed it one last time and put my shirt down.

I stood up and he lied down pretty fast. I noticed he had a small bulge underneath his pajamas, but I couldn’t really blame him. What we just did was pure hotness, it made me hard myself, but it went down fast because I had a sick Armie on my hands and sex was the last thing on my mind. He was all set and ready for bed. I joined him a minute later after I’ve gone to the bathroom.

In the next 40 minutes, Armie’s been taking short naps, the longest one lasted for almost 5 minutes. As soon as he’d close his eyes, he’d fall asleep, and every single move, every minor move would wake him up. It awoke him that I coughed, the crowd outside woke him up, an itch on his nose that needed to be scratched woke him up. I never closed my eyes for a second, I’ve been just lying there, watching him, monitoring his breathing. The strangest thing ever was the fact that when I touched his forehead, he did not wake up, he only adjusted his position and continued sleeping.

Eventually, he gave up on sleeping and we lied there awake, looking at each other.

“How much longer?” He asked.

I turned around to check my phone.

“Six minutes.” I said and as soon as I saw 54, I knew 55 was next and I rushed to turn off the alarm.

Couple of minutes later, we decided to get up and stand in front of the glass door of the balcony where we both had hoped to have a like sexy session later on, but unfortunately, that can wait. It took some time helping him get up because he’s been lying all day, and even without the fever, his skin was being a real bitch to any real touching. All of this was too much for him, but Armie insisted on watching the fireworks with me by his side.

We stood exactly where we stood days ago where he made me that promise. There were so many people outside, big crowds, loud groups of people, drunk and high people, everyone was so happy. The joy they’ve been evaporating with was indeed contagious, it made me happy to watch them all celebrating their own way. Some were already out on their balconies, underdressed and overdressed, filming the atmosphere, with drinks in their hands, and wide smiles on their faces. Never mind that it was December and that a light snow was covering the streets, but I guess they were hooked up on the adrenaline rush. So was I. I don’t know about him, I think he was still under the influence of our talk, and our little love exchange in the bedroom minutes ago. But he had a smile on as he was watching outside of the glass door.

And then the countdown started.

We counted with the rest of the New York City.

10 seconds before we enter the next year together, I had a thought in my head; here’s to much more great days, smiles, love, happiness, health, laughter, sex, love making, joy and comfort.

When we counted 1 second before midnight, I added courage and boldness to my list when I raised my body on the tips of my toes, grabbed his face in my hands and smashed our lips together. Armie was hesitant, but soon he gave in as well. First he tried pushing me off of him but luckily, the fever overtook his power which made me overtake him. His face was clenching and he didn’t want to part his lips. And when everyone made the big noise outside, he completely gave up. He opened his mouth to welcome my lips in between, relaxed his face and embraced my waist towards him.

“Happy New Year Armie.” I whispered into his lips with my eyes closed.

“Happy New Year, Timmy.” He whispered back and we exchanged smiles.

And then we went back to kissing. I haven’t felt his lips on mine since last year. Ha ha, funny. But it wasn’t something I was used to. I felt his burning skin around me everywhere, his lips were dry and so was his tongue which I felt once he slipped it in. A simple New Year’s kiss turned into a full on make out session; embracing each other closer and tugging hair.

“Mm, my mouth stinks.” He parted from me and frowned when he remembered that not so long ago, he was on his knees hugging the toilette bowl.

“It does not.” I replied and continued kissing him.

It really didn’t, I felt nothing.

I’d be toying with my health as well but I couldn’t resist the kiss, or him. If I get sick, fine, I’ll get sick, Armie will nurse me back to health and we’ll be fine. We’re gonna be fine. If I wanted to stay away from him and his illness I should’ve left when I put two and two together and found out that he was running a fever. This is nothing. My body will defeat whatever he throws at me because it grew stronger and more powerful ever since Armie walked into my life.

We parted for good and tried catching some breath. He was still holding me and kissing my forehead.

“If I get sick, you know what to do.”

“I do.” He whispered and kissed my nose.

Archie came out running towards us. I picked him up and wished him a happy New Year, and so did Armie. Then all three of us watched the atmosphere outside. The New York night sky was painted in colors; red, blue, yellow, orange. It was beautiful.

When I was on my way back to his room to get my phone so that I can start calling everyone and wishing them a happy new year, Armie stopped me.

“Hold on a second.” He said, holding my hand in his, obviously up to something.

He took the phone out of his pajama pocket because…why not? Pockets are there for that. And he began scrolling through his phone, I had no idea what was his plan.

“If I can’t give you dinner…I’ll try and give you something else.” He said and tapped on something.

Then he put the phone down on the nearest shelf.

“Wandering romance” was playing. My heart skipped a beat and my smile grew.

“Dance with me.” He offered his other hand. I took them both and he pulled me closer to him.

He spinned me around and then we danced, slowly, following the music.

I rested my head on his chest, holding one hand inside his over his other chest muscle, and his other hand was around my waist. His lips were so close to my ear, I felt the hot breath. And his heart was going at it like crazy.

“You remember the first time I played you this song?” I whispered.

“Of course. It became my favorite song since that day on.” He said and kissed my temple.

I smiled because he remembered when, and what he said once we were done.

The slow and romantic song made it possible for me to block everything from the outside, to block everything on the inside, until it was just him and me. Only his hands, his skin, his lips near my ear, his cheek against my forehead, hot breaths, slow moves, love among us.

The song was over 4 minutes later. And when we parted, we were both wiping the tears. He hugged me to shield me from the amount of emotions I’ve gotten from this song and him, all in one. This song is ours, this song screams Armie and me. This is our love song.

The next 20 minutes, I spent on the phone, texting Victor and Jules, because their party was so loud that they couldn’t hear us, or they thought we went out and that our party was the one that’s loud. I called my mom, it was still 9 pm in San Francisco. I’ll call her again at 3 am if I’m awake. I never told her about Armie and that he’s sick. As far as she knows, I was in the bathroom. Later on, I called my grandparents, they were in New York. Armie should meet them. Others will wait until tomorrow. And Armie called his parents and brother, couple of colleagues and texted Nicole, Victor and Jules. Don’t know how or when did he get their phone numbers, but apparently, they were all in contact.

After those phone calls and texts, we ended up in bed again, snuggling so close to each other. He wasn’t running a fever for a while now, and I never hesitated when he told me to spoon him from behind.

I smiled again and kissed his back. We’re finally in 2020 together, and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when the next chapter is coming, i haven't started writing anything yet.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	53. Ten days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A summary of the first ten days in the new year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! I did say i won't let you wait more than four days, so here it is! I wrote this chapter last night and kept going back so many times to edit it, to make it perfect for you! Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and let me know your thoughts in the comments. Sta safe and take care!♥️

I’ve stayed at Armie’s place for the next ten days. I haven’t left his side for those ten days at all. I didn’t go back to my place in those ten days. It became my home. I had everything I needed there.

He was sick for the first four and, we were just making up time for those six days left. Even though I never saw those days as wasted, he did, because, in his words, he didn’t remember most of them, but he does remember being a jerk to me and over-dramatic at times. In the end, I stayed because there was no other place where we could go to be alone and his apartment was absolutely perfect. Just him, me and Archie. We had everything we needed here.

I was beginning to get scared when his fever didn’t go down two days after New Year, but then suddenly, out of the blue, he woke up one morning feeling better than ever.

Armie tried sending me home many, many times in the first day but I didn’t budge. Whether I was invading his personal life or not, didn’t matter to me. He mentioned personal space and then I had to remind him that only a week earlier we were at a hotel, naked for four days, doing all sorts of things, diving even deeper than before, we’ve seen it all, there is no such thing as personal space in our relationship. However, I did in fact complain that I didn’t have anything else to wear, no underwear, no shirts, not even a tooth brush. It was silly of me to think of it, because Armie then opened his closet and showed me piles and piles of boxers, shirts, sweatpants, socks, anything that I can fit it. He said I can choose anything and wear it for as long as I wanted, since his outfit of the day were simply pajamas.

“Or, don’t wear anything. I like it when you don’t wear a single thing.” He made a comment as I was looking through his clothes.

He smirked at me and I made a face at him, I see you’re getting better already.

And he did say that he bought a new tooth brush and was happy to open it in the new year but instead, he gave it to me. We’d share anything needed in the bathroom; towels, shampoos, showers gels, lotions, anything. And we had the same phones, so we shared the charger. His clothes were big on me, starting from his boxers, and I had to look for those with elastic band around it, I rarely ever wore sweat pants, just his shirts and underwear, that was all I needed. We both liked looking at his clothes hanging from my skinny body. So, I was all set. The fact that he didn’t hesitate to show me my clothes and my hygiene supplies, showed me that he, in fact, needed me here more than he thought he would. Whether it was because I took care of him, or he just loved having me around, it was the same for me. If I were to be asked, I’d never leave his place. We were alone and had everything we needed.

The only time I’d ever leave his place was to take Archie out for a walk, and I did that up to six times a day, and to go out and buy groceries. We had a huge fight the next day after New Year when he began dressing up to go to the store with me and I didn’t let him. He screamed that he’s fine, and I screamed back telling him he’s not. Sick Armie is so hard to swallow, he acts like a baby, a stubborn toddler and a teenage girl, all at the same time. In the end, because I was faster than him, I locked him inside of his bedroom, took the key with me and went to the store on my own and got us what we needed. Once I got back, 20 minutes later, he was already sound asleep, hugging my pillow where my scent has been pouring onto for the past two days. When he woke up, he had forgotten all about it. He did say he remembered saying that he wanted to go but instead stayed inside because it was cold outside and because I wanted to go alone. Ethanol drugged him good.

Armie would spend most of the day sleeping. I’d wake him up at around 9 am every morning so that he could take something for the fever and asked him every time if he wanted to eat something, he would always say no and just drink some tea. Until one day before he got better; that’s when he woke up before me and began preparing our breakfast. When the delicious food smell awoke me, I found him in the kitchen cooking, saying how he’s starving. When he said that I wanted to cry from pure joy and happiness.

Because of the fear of his fever not going down, I called my mom to see what was I supposed to do. She told me that if it doesn’t go down by tomorrow night, that I should take him to the doctor’s the next morning. And that morning, he was already feeling better, he only spiked a low fever around noon, which was not uncommon. Mama said that fevers tend to jump at around noon all the time. But he was good the rest of the day, and he managed to take Archie out twice that day. Of course, he didn’t go alone.

I told my mom about him being sick and us staying in on New Year’s eve on an early morning on January the 1st, at 9 am. I had to get out of the room so I don’t wake him up.

“We didn’t go anywhere.” I whispered as I was closing the door behind me.

“Oh, sweetie. Why?”

“We were supposed to. We had it all planned out. I was ready and on my way to his place. And then…well, he spiked a fever yesterday. And he tried to hide it from me. But I could tell he wasn’t well.”

“Oh, baby. I didn’t know. He texted me last night, he never mentioned anything about being sick, he said you were together. Why didn’t you say anything? Where is he now?”

“Sleeping, which is good. He’s cranky when he wakes up and loves to hate on himself, but he’s good afterwards. He’s shaking constantly, he’s in pain, burning up, doesn’t want to eat, he threw up last night and drank a cup of tea. He drank the tea first, then he threw up. I know about your two-hour rule.” I smiled to myself when I said it.

“Never doubted at you, baby. Ah, that’s awful sweetie, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I know. He feels like shit because he thinks he ruined the night but…mom, this was one of, if not, the best New Year’s eves ever. I must be getting old, but I liked that it was just the two of us. You should’ve seen us, running around the place, fighting, screaming at each other, and when midnight came around, we were back to our old selves. He’s just pissed at himself for getting sick, but he’s alright I guess.”

I told her what I’ve been doing to him all night; monitoring him, taking his temperature, soaking him with alcohol and water. She said she was proud of me for doing everything like she taught me. We proceeded to talk about her night and I wished her a happy first day at work. Then I came back and lied down next to him.

We were both lucky that night because he never woke up once, Armie slept through everything, he never moved from my embrace.

When he woke up that morning, he didn’t seem surprised that I was still there, he asked me to stay and not to go back home, which was never my intention. When he spiked the fever later on, that’s when he freaked out and asked me to leave, not to watch him, not to be around him when he’s like this, but I said no. In the morning light, he looked even worse, but still very handsome. His eye bags were showing off even more and he complained because of the sore throat.

“It’s normal after throwing up.” I reassured him, offering him a glass of water I got prepared there just in case.

“The acid…” He whispered as he was getting up a bit.

“The acid, yeah.”

Armie took the water and drank it slowly, making a face after every swallow.

“It’ll get better.” I said and put the glass away.

“I’m fine like this. If I had known you’d be lying beside me all the time, I should’ve gone out with a wet hair a long time ago. I’m fine with this.”

“Jerk…” I scoffed.

That’s when I told him some great news. I don’t start school until 27th of January. And for the first time in 12 hours, I saw a real and decent smile on his face, I could read happiness. I wonder if he was feeling even more shitty because we both thought I was starting school on the 13th and we were wasting time with him being sick and not with doing something else. Now that we added two more weeks, Armie was happy because he knew he’d get better pretty soon and we’ll have all the time in the world.

The first time he took a shower, it went better than I expected. I wanted to make him a bubble bath to relax, but that was not a good idea for someone with the fever. However, we had to rinse off the horrific alcohol smell from his body. I was getting used to it but it still made my eyes water whenever he’d hug me and push my head into his chest. I helped with get naked and step inside, then I simply poured mild water onto him and scrubbed in some soap. That’s it. Nothing else. The hair can wait, truly. He didn’t complain at all, he just wanted to change clothes. I helped him dress up and then showered myself after I put him to bed.

Armie began eating lightly few days after he first got sick. And that was on his own free will. Up until then, I had to shove food down his throat so that he doesn’t starve. I know he was in pain, I know he lost his appetite but at least something…biscuits and soups, warm milk, oat meal, bits and bits of french toasts, sunny side up eggs but just the white part. Whenever he’d swallow more than five bites, I was happy. He drank teas, water, juices, vitamin bombs, and from the pharmacy, I got some vitamins and minerals for his immune system; selenium, zinc, and complex of vitamin B. Fruits came in later, but he didn’t hesitate on that. His nose wasn’t running nor was he coughing like a maniac. It was just a cold, like mama said. The fact that his fever was gone after four days in total was an unexplained relief to me.

A lot of the things happened in just those four days, it felt longer, that’s for sure. But the remaining six days, we were getting back to normal.

On the first day, I had to call back home and let them know where I am, what happened and that I was gonna stay here for a while. Didn’t realize that “while” would turn into nine more days. Jules answered and she went on and on about their amazing night, and politely remembered to ask me about ours.

“We ah…we didn’t go out.” I stuttered as I was telling her.

“What? Why not? You let the table slip away? Tim, do you have any idea how long we…” She was mad, her voice was high but I had to interrupt her.

“Armie’s sick. We couldn’t go out.”

She gasped, regretting for yelling at me through the phone.

“Oh, God…I’m sorry, I didn’t know. What’s wrong with him?” She asked.

“Fever. A cold probably, but I’m managing it.”

“Are you sure? Do you want any help, I can come out and…”

That’s sweet of her.

“No, no, thanks Jules, we’re fine. He’s asleep now, but he’ll be okay.”

“Too bad, Tim. I’m sorry he’s sick.”

“Yeah me too.” I nodded at myself.

“When are you coming home?” She asked after a while.

“No idea. Until he’s better, I think?”

“What about your clothes and all that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll come by later and gather some stuff when he wakes up. Or, he can give me some of his.”

After those four days had passed, he was feeling much, much better. I watched him transform from a bitchy little toddler, to a man I fell in love with. All of this falls into the same category, we just a little step back and I saw what he’s like when he’s sick. If I wasn’t there, with him, every minute of every day, who knows what the outcome would’ve been. Maybe he’d be lying in a hospital bed right now if I let him go out and party. Those thoughts I pushed away as soon as he was returning to his old self.

And with that, we were getting back to normal. Not just him, us as well.

He didn’t need help around the bathroom anymore, he didn’t need help standing up, sitting down, eating, drinking, sleeping. Armie was back.

And I was fine as well. We were both afraid he’d infect me but I drank all the minerals and vitamins that he did, never skipped a meal, drank my water and juices, building up my immune system, in the end, I was completely fine. We didn’t hesitate to kiss after our New Year’s eve kiss. Even with the fever on the first two days, he was still up and ready to go further, but I stopped him every single time. I kept it to myself that I’d be preventing a man’s worst nightmare, a true humiliation if his dick doesn’t rise up. I know he’d feel embarrassed if I were to lie naked underneath him and he couldn’t get it up. He’d get emotional and flown with self-loath, trying to convince me I’m not the problem. I know I’m not the problem, he is, he’s sick. Sex can wait.

But sex did come eventually, the same morning his fever didn’t come up. I was afraid to even try it, I thought he’d be in pain to keep it up, to push into something very tight, or he’d get a panic attack in the middle, or, worst case scenario, at the end. We tried it that morning and we succeeded. But to make it better for us both, I told him that if he doesn’t make it, we can switch, which would cause him even more pain and then he’d put everything he had into making it the first time. He’s still very tight for me, he’d be needing a lot of preparation, especially now after so many days, weeks, of him not bottoming for me. So, we didn't go that way, we went the other one instead, with him on top. But we made it, and it was our first sex in the new year. He wanted to be special, so I let him. I let him take both of our clothes off and get under the covers again. He was gentle and slow, I let him dictate the rhythm he felt was the most comfortable for him, it was perfect. It didn’t feel like he was recently sick and it didn’t feel like I was being a fucking dictator around the house. After that, he spiked the fever. And for the first time in days, Armie didn’t give a damn about that. He took what I gave him, he didn’t complain while I was soaking his body with water and ethanol. Armie said that it was worth it. That getting the fever after sex was the best things he’s ever done in bed, with me, allowing himself to submit to it.

He fell asleep shortly afterwards and I joined him.

After that, we were pretty much back to normal. As soon as he was capable of holding on and making it to the end, our sex life came back as if never even left in the first place. We didn’t use toys or ropes, it was just him and me, pure sex. I’ve learned to love having sex in his bed, we’ve only ever done it once before. I love the feeling when a mattress swallows me and gives me space to spread and find my own happy place. He sheets reeked of alcohol and I decided to change them as soon as we were done. That, and because it had our mixed cum on it; mine, when I was on all fours, and his, when he completely missed my mouth, even though I was holding him, while we were doing the 69. We laughed about it afterwards.

I loved every single day I’ve spent at his place, in his arms, on his bed, inside this bubble we created. A bubble that contained us and the bed. The outside world didn’t exist, and Armie tend to keep it like that for as long as possible.

The biggest shock came during my eighth day here. His brother came to visit him. His brother, Ben. He only talked to him on the phone and told him he was sick, that’s why he hasn’t been out or answering regularly, he said I was here and taking care of him. Either way, Ben showed up and caught us both off guard. We were decent, we weren’t in bed, but his visit was the last thing on my list for that day, or ever. Ben bought him some fruit and bags of rare teas. I was beyond terrified when I opened the door a saw him.

He looked nothing like Armie, expect for the height. He was handsome, had blue eyes and thin lips.

“Hi, you must be Timothée.” He said as soon as he saw me at the door and smiled.

“Um, yeah…” I was confused as to who this person was.

“I’m Ben.” He offered me his hand and I took it.

We shook hands just in time Armie was getting out of the bedroom, getting his meds for the day.

We sat around and we were getting to know each other. Ben was the younger one and he worked at a local bar while finishing up his master’s degree in law. A philosopher and a lawyer. The Hammers did well.

Ben probably saw me getting nervous around him and he’d struck up a conversation with me to ease the mood in the room. When Armie left to go to the bathroom, Ben took his shot.

“Armie’s told me about you.” He started as soon as we were left alone.

“Oh, don’t believe anything he said, it’s not true.” I joked.

He chuckled.

“Ha! I’ve never heard him talk about any of his friends like that before. You must be special.”

Friend? Really? I know Armie never said…a friend.

“Oh, yeah…he told you I was his friend?” I bit back.

He shook his head as he was sipping his juice.

“No, of course not. He said you’re much more than that. He even used the name, boy, combined with the friend.”

“Yes, a boyfriend. That’s what I am to him.” I said it directly.

“You look awfully young. How old are you again?”

“20, and?” I raised my eyebrow when I spoke the obvious life. Almost two weeks ago, I turned 19. I didn’t like his attitude.

“He’s gonna be 27 soon, you know?”

“I know.”

“Well…if he’s happy…”

I forced a very delightful smile, when in reality, I really wanted him to leave.

“He is. He’ll tell you himself.” I said and took a sip of my tea.

“I believe you. Chill.” He chuckled.

“I am.” I smiled again.

Ben left after 20 minutes and Armie noticed that I had fallen silent around the place.

“Did he say something?” He asked me while we were in the kitchen, preparing lunch.

“No, just…let it go…” I shook off my head and moved away so that I could get something from the fridge.

Armie followed me and grasped onto my shoulders, he turned me around and looked at me.

“Hey, hey, hey, Tim? Tell me what did he say.”

I exhaled.

“I don’t know if he was being serious or sarcastic. He told me you were going to be 27 soon and that I was awfully young. He said he’s never heard you talk about your friends before like you talked about me. I asked him if you said I was just your friend, he said that you told him I was something more, but he didn’t really bother to blur the word boyfriend out. I don’t know…”

His face changed. He was sorry that he left me there with him, hoping we’d get along like he and my brother are.

“I’m sorry. I talk to him about you all the time, literally every time, and he knows we’re together, I don’t know what bullshit he’s pulling out now.” He shook his head, annoyed, visibly.

“I thought he’d be happy to meet me.” I said, not looking at him.

“I’m sure he is, he just doesn’t know how to show it. He knows I’m happy, he knows I love you and that we’re serious.”

“Yeah…” I nodded.

“Fuck him, let’s move on.”

I looked up at him.

“Armie, he’s your brother.”

“I know. And I managed to put out the same attitude with my mother. And I’m fine. I didn’t expect him to understand us, but I had hoped he’d avoid making you uncomfortable.”

“I’ll be fine.” I said eventually, moving from him.

He stopped me and put his fingers around my neck, holding my head up so that I could look at him.

“Hey.”

I smiled when I felt his body pushing against mine.

“You are my world kid, and you own me you sneaky little fucker. Don’t you ever forget that.”

I giggled, and so did he. Armie kissed my nose and let go of me.

“Besides, didn’t we talk about Nicole adopting me?”

This was a joke to him. But I couldn’t understand…how?

“I don’t get how you can…look the other way when your family is not so supportive of your relationship.” I said.

He turned around.

“Tim. When the highest power in a person’s life, a mother, looks the other way… and when someone beneath her does it as well, a brother, it doesn’t have the same effect. I’ve tore myself on the inside about her view of me. But I’m a grown man now, I have a job, my own place, and I’m in a serious relationship with the person I adore. If they don’t support it, fine, I won’t stand in their way. But Ben is gonna be fine. Trust me.”

Two days later, I put on some of his clothes, my jacket, my shoes and was on my way home. He insisted on driving me but I told him I’d find a cab instead.

“Do you really have to go?” He breathed out while holding my face in his hands. Armie’s eyes were burning through my soul.

We were standing at the doorway, trying to say goodbye to each other.

“I could stay here forever, but…” I said.

“Then stay here. Please.”

And I stayed. For two more days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The vitamins and minerals i listed in this chapter are amazing for building up the immune system. Because i suffer from Hashimoto's thyroiditis, and since there is no cure at the moment, selenium is the mother out of all the minerals! It stinks but it helps. Also, since the quarantine started, i gathered all these vitamins to build up my immune system to fight off the virus, maybe it helped, maybe not, but it certainly made my eat my ass off like there is no tomorrow lol.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	54. His world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy go to Armie's friend's engagement party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Hope you're doing great today. I didn't want to stall with chapters so i'm just posting one after the other as soon as i finish writing them. It's a short chapter, i didn't want to put much detailing in it, but it's here. Enjoy it, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!  
> Stay safe and take care!❤️

I got home on Sunday evening at last. And it was a real struggle getting home. Armie didn’t want to let me go, I had to fight him just so that I could walk away from him for the tiniest thing, he begged me to stay at least one more day, he kept telling me the wrong time whenever I’d ask him just so that he’d keep me there longer than I told him I’d be staying. I reminded him that the next day we were going to the engagement party of his friend, and that I need to get ready for it at my own place.

“You don’t have to. We’ll wash the pants here, you have the jacket, I’ll give you a shirt. We can iron everything here, you can shower here, wash your hair, wear my boxers, socks, you can do anything you want here.” He said right after our afternoon sex. Armie pulled me into his arms and told me his ideas.

I appreciated the thoughtful offer but had to pass it. But I had to leave.

It killed me to leave but it was time. Besides, I promised him I’ll be back after the party, I’ll sleep at his place after the party. Then I’m all his again.

He drove me back to my place, dropped me off and left. Lie. He drove in front of my building and locked the doors on the inside, didn’t even act surprised that they were locked, like he said, accidentally. I knew what he was doing. After arguing about that he finally let me go. I even offered him to stay at my place, but his problem was the same as mine from earlier; he didn’t have enough items to get ready. I know separation is hard, but I’ll be back in his arms in less than 24 hours. What is with him?

Armie turned to me and grabbed my hand in his.

“It’s not the same, Tim. Don’t get me wrong, I love being with you, at your place, but we were completely alone at mine, no one to disturb us, no one to run into, we were doing anything we wanted. There was no breakfast time, no bed time, no shower time…We were being as loud as much as we wanted to be.”

I looked away with a compressed grin on my face.

“I like hearing you…not holding back.” He added and grinned himself.

“I get it, and I agree. It was different and very, very good. But please let me out, I need to see someone else besides you. Or I’m gonna get sick of you.” I joked.

“If you get sick, I know exactly what to do.”

We both laughed at this. He raised my hand and kissed it. I pushed closer to him and closed my eyes as soon as I felt his chopped lips on my forehead.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“Armie…”

“No, seriously, thank you. For being there with me and for me, and I’m sorry I was being so awful to you, I just…”

I looked up at him.

“Oh, shut up. Don’t remind me again, I almost punched you in the face.”

“Wait, when?” He frowned.

“Whenever you were bitching. Except in your sleep. It was the only time you were being you.”

We grinned at each other and he pulled my chin up and kissed me. I could smell me on him. We didn’t shower after sex that day.

"I'll make it up to you, i promise." He whispered. 

There's only one way i needed him to make it up to me.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow night, around 8 pm. This time for real.” He said.

“Deal.”

Then he unlocked the doors and I was out. Armie waited until I was inside the building and then he drove off.

I walked in just in time for dinner. They were talking about everything that has happened in the last two weeks when I wasn’t home. I told them I’ll take a quick shower and then we’ll talk about what I’ve been doing in those past two weeks too.

After I had gotten out of the shower, Jules, Victor and myself sat down and we all talked about Armie and how he’s been, and me taking care of the giant baby, meeting his brother and all that. None of them liked the reaction his brother was giving me, but agreed that maybe he needs time.

The next morning, I woke up early before Victor. It was 10 am when I woke up, but he’s been sleeping in lately. Jules was at work. I drank my coffee, went to the bakery and once I got back, I took the envelop with the money mom gave me for my birthday and went out. I wanted to find something good to wear for tonight. I was nervous as hell. I didn’t want to wear a regular shirt, I wanted something exclusive, something that was nice, comfortable and something that Armie himself would find interesting. And for that, I had to go to a very specific store and get it. I walked around the block so many times, walking into every possible store that had what I was looking for until I found it. I couldn’t believe it myself, that I’ve changed so much ever since I’ve met him. Never would I ever even consider walking into this street, let alone, into this store and asking for a specific wish and getting it. And as the lady was packing the shirt for me in a bag, all I could think was, “Armie’s gonna lose him goddamn mind when he sees me.”

I was merely exhausted when I got back from my shopping trip. If the engagement party wasn’t gonna be wild, I am sure that the party once we enter his room is gonna be wilder, definitely. I took a short nap and when I woke up, I called my mom, and then called Armie. About the gift, he said that the best idea was to put some money in an envelope, a card and give it to them. Armie didn’t know the future bride, and I didn’t know neither the bride or the groom. And they didn’t know about me.

After that, I showered, washed my hair, shaved again, I did everything the same, just like I did it two weeks ago. And as my hair was drying off, I decided to do something naughty. Very naughty. I put my sweatpants on and the shirt on, made sure that it suited me perfectly, and let other things attached to the shirt fall off and caress my skin. I took my phone, turned my back towards the bedroom mirror and snapped a selfie. I made sure to stand like that so that my back was visible in the mirror. I sent it to Armie. He opened it 2 minutes later and left me on seen. He did, however, took the screenshot of it, and I never heard from him again. I smirked to myself, probably guessing what he’s doing with that picture now. All of this was for him. I know how to hit a nerve and I did it on purpose. He did say I need some discipline. Guess I’m getting one tonight.

After I dried off my hair, put on body lotion, deodorant, the pants I ironed earlier for tonight, put his silver bracelet on, I realized there is no way in putting the shirt on myself, at least not completely. I wore it nicely, but I needed help with the back. Luckily, I know just the right person to help me with this.

“Jules?” I called for her from my doorway.

“Yep?”

“Can you come here for a second?”

She walked in couple of seconds later.

“What’s up?” She asked while closing the door, still not looking at me.

And when she did, her jaw dropped.

“Wow! Tim! That looks so good. Can I touch it?”

“Mhm…”

She ran her fingers across my stomach, mesmerized by the details. The beads were caressing her hand.

“Oh my God, will you give it to me to wear it sometimes?” She laughed.

“Ha, I’ll think about that, listen…I need your help.”

“Yeah?”

I turned around and exposed my back to her.

“Can you please tie me up?” I asked. Weird, I asked her to tie me up…

I heard her gasp loudly.

“Tim!”

I felt her hands grasping onto the ribbons and pulling them towards her as she started tying them.

“I didn’t know you were into…”

“Guess I am.” I giggled.

“Is Armie too?”

Of course she asks about Armie being into this stuff.

“Why do you think I bought it anyway?” I chuckled.

“I wanted to ask you if those red marks I saw on your hands weeks ago were rope burns, but now, I have my answer.”

“Yeah, we’re freaky.” I chucked once more, standing there and letting her tie up my shirt on the back.

And to think how fast those rope burns on my wrists and across my chest faded away. I began missing them, just like the massive hickey that was now getting smaller and changing color. Two weeks later, his mark was still there on my skin. But I didn’t need to hide it with clothes.

“And Armie’s into this…” She muttered to herself.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, now you’re gonna have wet dreams about it, huh…”

“Hey, fuck you. And watch out who you bring to this house from here on out.”

How dare she thinks I’m gonna bring someone else home after Armie? It’s insane. The guy set the limits high for anyone who dares to come near me. Every single person that meets him is smitten with him. Starting with Jules, ending with my mom.

“Nah, only Armie.”

“It’s like you haven’t killed me enough times.”

We laughed together.

“There, all done.” She said as she was tying the ribbons near my butt.

“Really?”

I turned around and looked at the mirror, threw my head to the side to take a quick look. It was perfect.

“Thanks.”

“Have fun, Tim.” Jules said with a smile on her face as she was reaching for the door handle.

“I will. And um…I’m staying…”

“Figured. No way he’s letting you slip out of his hands looking like that.” She winked at me and left my room.

Jules knows what Armie and I are into. I think this just upgraded her image of Armie in bed.

Half an hour later, someone rang the doorbell. It was Armie. I opened it all dressed up and ready. The shirt wasn’t visible underneath my jacket that I had zipped it all the way up. He looked extremely handsome. I love that he’s finally letting his beard grow, he looks so manly with it. And I was not surprised that he was wearing a white turtle neck. It was absolutely justified after those three love bites I left on his neck.

“Tell me it isn’t true.” He breathed out when I opened the door.

“What?” I was scared. What is he talking about?

“Are you really wearing that...what you sent me?” He bit his lower lip.

Oh, the jerk. I freaked out.

I nodded and bit my lips as well. Armie looked like he was having trouble breathing. Maybe the turtleneck was on a bit too tight.

“Tim…no, you can’t I…I have to be on my best behavior tonight.” He exhaled.

“And how is that my problem?”

Armie looked mad and tortured. Deep breaths, big guy.

“I’m gonna kill you afterwards.” He grunted silently through his teeth.

“You have my permission.”

I said goodbye to Jules and Victor and we were off.

We arrived at the party 15 minutes later.

The party was at a very small and closed café. There were no tables and chairs, only tall bar stools and bar tables all over the place. There must’ve been at least 9 or 10 of them and every table had up to three bar stools. It was very elegant, there was a small band and a buffet. We weren’t the first to arrive, there were plenty of people there. Both the future bride and the groom greeted us and Armie, without any hesitation, introduced me as his partner. Both shook my hand, smiled politely and showed us the table.

I was so nervous walking into his world, meeting his people, listening to their names I’ve never heard before. And after another three rounds of Armie introducing me, I was feeling a lot better. They didn’t seem to care that Armie was into dudes, some of them weren’t even surprised, which led me to believe that Armie wasn’t very subtle at work, and talking about other guys or even me.

The closest colleague to Armie, a guy named Jackson, flat out admitted to me that he doesn’t know how to shut about a young guy in Armie’s life named Tim.

“We share the office. I take the afternoon classes and every single time he says he can’t wait to leave and meet with you. Someone so close to him knows the feeling.” Jackson talked to me once I was left alone at our table that we shared with him and Jackson’s wife Melinda.

I love how I felt like the center of attention, even though it was someone else’s engagement party.

“I work on the third floor and I had to press him to talk to me about you Timothée. There are no secrets between us. He told me about you the very first time you went out. Please, feel comfortable here, everyone knows about you. Don’t know how many know you directly, but feel free to have fun around.” Melinda said while we were standing at the bar, ordering our drinks.

“Thank you, Melinda, that…that means…ah, fuck, I’m so nervous. Oh, sorry, sorry, I shouldn’t be swearing in front of a stranger.” I stuttered around her and blushed immediately.

“Honey, trust me, swearing is my middle name. Relax. I would like to get to know you better.”

Our drinks came and we went back to our table. Armie was on the other table, talking to his other colleagues. Armie pointed a finger at me to them and they looked at him with smiles, they waved and me and I waved back. Guess that’s another pair that knows about us.

“Tell me about yourself. How old are you, what do you do…” She said as she was taking a sip on her straw.

“There’s not much to tell honestly. I don’t know if Armie mentioned, but I’m younger than him and…”

“How much younger?” She interrupted me.

“I turned 19 about two weeks ago.”

“Ah, so young, you look younger, by the way. And don’t worry, age is nothing. I’m four years older than Jackson, and his last girlfriend, before we got married, was 20 years old.”

I had to chuckle because I was nervous and she was making me laugh a lot. I liked her presence. Next to Melinda, I managed to erase other people in the room. Though, I couldn’t really escape that, since they were all staring at me from time to time.

“How long have you guys been married for?” I asked her.

“Three years in April.”

“A little late, but congrats.” I raised my glass and smiled.

“Thank you dear.”

She was really beautiful. I could never tell she was in the thirties. She has a long, wavy brown hair, green eyes and big red lips.

“You go to school?” She asked me.

“Mhm.”

“And after that?”

I hate this question.

“I don’t know, honestly I have no idea what I’m gonna do.”

“When the right time comes, you’ll know. Right now, just enjoy your time, and well…him.” She nodded towards Armie. I didn’t even have to look.

I nodded at her and actually felt a lot better about looking into the future. This was the time when we should all be working on our ideas about college, and a total stranger just made it all better for me.

“I don’t know if I should be the one telling you this, but Armie’s previous girlfriend, um, Sarah, was it?”

“Yeah.” I nodded, looking away.

Oh boy, what now?

“We never met her. For as long as he’s been working with us, he’s been telling us that he’s in a relationship with her, but isn’t happy. Then he said they broke up, finally. And then, two months ago, he came in all smiling and happy and I asked him why the smug and he said that he’s met someone.”

“Oh…” I guess this times to us, I think.

“When I asked him what was her name, he corrected me and said your name.”

I looked away blushing, and then looked back at her.

“Armie doesn’t open up a lot, he does talk a lot though, but when it comes to you…I wish we could shut him up.”

We both laughed.

“Feeling better baby?” She asked me after I stopped grinning so much.

“Yeah, yes, a lot, thanks Melinda.”

We continued to talk about some random things. If there was a specific role this Melinda played at parties, it was the one who’s got all the gossip. She pointed out some very interesting things about the groom, because she hasn’t met the bride before, but she did meet bride’s friend months ago, and the groom and the bride’s friend seemed to be getting along maybe little too well. Then she told me the story about the sociology professor and how she loves her women, her husband doesn’t know that. The same thing happened with the psychology professor; Melinda said she’s met his wife, and met his boyfriend. She had all the dirts and I loved it, because I felt very comfortable around her.

Once Armie showed up, we stopped laughing and only grinned at each other. He was confused but not worried. I think he was glad I was having fun.

“May I steal my boy here?” Armie’s deep voice almost sent me off the curve here.

“He’s all yours. Don’t take too long, I’ll miss him.” She smiled and pinched my cheek.

Armie took me by the hand and pulled us away from the crowd.

“I’ve heard some stories about you around here.” I told him once we were away from everybody else.

“Yeah? Hope they’re good?”

“They’re fantastic.” I grinned and sipped my drink again.

Armie took out a pack of cigarettes, gave me one and light it for me.

“Are you having fun?” He asked me.

“I am. More than I thought I would.” I smiled at him, feeling a little bit tipsy from only two drinks.

“Glad to hear that.” We shared a small kiss, not wanting to let the entire attention fall onto us being intimate in public. These things are for private rooms.

Then they toned the lights down and both the groom and the bride gave a little speech, separately and thanked us all for being here. After that, the party was back on.

“They love you, you know that?” He said as he was leaning closer to me.

“Only because you don’t know how to shut up about me.”

“Damn it, that Melinda has a big mouth.” He scoffed.

“She does.”

“I can’t wait to go home.” He whispered against my ear and shove a hand underneath my jacket.

“Armie…” I softly moaned when his cold hand brushed over my hot skin.

“You are killing me kid, I hope you know that.” He spoke directly, looking me in the eyes.

The biggest problem of the night was Armie. He’d walk me around, I’d meet people and in the middle of the conversation, he’d sneak his hand behind me and undo the bow tie Jules tied up for me. I’d stop in the middle of the sentence once I’d realize what he’s doing and when no one was looking, I had to tie it myself and give Armie a look. He already did it five times, and once I realized it was close to 1:30 am, I turned to him and asked him if we can go home. He nodded immediately and we went to say goodbye to his people. Melinda hugged me tightly and told me that she’s gonna force Armie to go out on a double date with her and Jackson. Of course I agreed.

Back in the car, Armie was silent and I was doing all the talking. I told him that I love, love his friends, and that I had a great time. He was glad to hear that but he was still very silent.

“What’s wrong, Armie? Why are you quiet?”

“You’ll see, kid.” His voice was stiff.

And then he turned to look at me and I no longer recognized his blue eyes, they were black now.

“You’re gonna pay for wearing that shirt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know their outfits, and Timmy's shirt and the selfie. Enough said!😏
> 
> I'm writing a very special chapter right now, so i should post it in a day or two. Hang on!😄  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


	55. Pure and innocent (Armie's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy experience something new together after the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! I am sorry it took me so long to post, but this chapter has close to 10k words, and it's the second longest chapter i ever wrote, next to Chapter 21 - Armie's first time. I really hope you'll like it because i put everything i had in it, i had to do a sort of research to make his chapter come to life. It might get too vile at times, or too dark, but just so you know, you were warned.😉
> 
> Enjoy it, hope you'll like it and let me know your thoughts in the comments.❤️
> 
> Since Thursday, we're out of quarantine, which i don't think it was a good idea at all. They bring up results that are 7-8 days old. And now, even more than ever, there are more people out on the streets, unprotected and interacting. We'll see what it brings for us...  
> Anyway, quarantined or not, please stay safe and take care!🤗

Watching him walk around, talking, laughing, having fun with my colleagues and my friends, brought me more joy than he could’ve ever imagined. He was melting into my world and I hated it. I hate that people know. I wasn’t ashamed of him, not at all, I was proudly opening up about him and our relationship. I hate that the more people I let in on our relationship, the more he’s melting with them. This is a selfish move on my part, he should be meeting my friends, he should be having fun, but I wanted him all to myself. I wanted him never to leave my place, my bed, my arms. But I had to let him go, for no other reasons regarding me. It was for his own good.

I thought I could handle it, I thought I would be okay without him, even after spending ten days with him all the time. The more time we spent together, the more I got used to him, and it was like he was born in my place, grew up here, lived his childhood next to me, and going back to my own childhood, I can see him there, he’s playing with toys, he’s studying for a math test, he’s having his first heart break. I got so used to his voice, his smell, his presence. So when he was ready to go back home, I felt like I was suffocating, and asked him to stay, which he did, and that brough me even more joy for the next 48 hours. Funny, people always complain that they’re suffocating when people are around them, not when they’re leaving. He owns me, he’s not aware how much but I am lost and dead without him. Getting addicted to a person is far more dangerous than getting addicted to drugs.

He is my daily dosage of happiness, love and sex. 

So when he sent me the picture of his backless shirt…he called it a shirt, he’s so wrong; it was a bib, a backless bib with black silky ropes hanging from it, with his wet hair and his horny face…I lost it again. I saved the picture on my phone and had fun with it immediately, thinking about all the things I was planning on doing to him that night. He did this on purpose, he knows I’m into bondage and ropes, and he was trying to destroy me all night long. Sometimes, whenever I’d snap a chance, I’d untie one of the ropes underneath his jacket. Each time I felt like I needed to self-induce a period of pain just to stop thinking about what is happening underneath his jacket.

This was insane. I wanted him to pay for what he’s done to me, I wanted to punish him for doing that to me. The car ride back at my place was a disaster, he was talking and I was thinking what am I gonna do with this kid. He’s slowly sending me to an early death and he needs to pay for that.

He knows my limits, that’s why I know he did this on purpose, he’s trying to unleash the beast inside of me and there is no telling what I’ll do with him. I sound sick, I sound violent, I sound like a murderer. And I want to do everything to him, I want him to feel it all, and yet, I want to kiss him gently and move my hips between his legs slowly.

Once we got back, we didn’t turn on the lights, just took our shoes off at the door and headed straight to the bedroom. Whatever he wanted to do or talk about, it can wait, I can’t.

I slammed the doors behind us and pushed him against the door. He hit his back and yelped suddenly, but once I pushed my body against his, he opened his mouth and let out a silent moan. He likes this, he likes it rough. I was breathing deeply and heavily through my nose, clenching my teeth, pushing into him harder.

I grabbed his face between my thumb and my index finger, looking him in the eyes. He’s scared, I can tell.

“I should punish you for what you’ve done to me.” I breathed out through my teeth.

“And what have I done?” He whispered, acting all innocent and perfect.

“You know.”

“I know.” He nodded.

“Fuck, Tim…” I breathed out, closing my eyes in front of him. He can see that clearly. He knows what he has done.

I let go of his face and watched as my fingers were leaving white prints on his cheeks, slowly fading away on a street lamp’s light.

“You look so innocent. And I know you’re not. And that makes me weak as fuck.” My voice is shaking but I am leashing out everything.

I sat on the bed and spread my legs and bent them into knees. Keeping the boner hurts. I got used to being hard next to him that I almost completely forgot about it, or how to control it.

He stood there against the door, breathing heavily, waiting for me to tell him what to do like a good boy he is.

“Come over here.” I said, seriously.

He obeyed. Now he’s standing above me, but not by much, we’re almost there with the height. I can tell that he’s at least tipsy from all the alcohol but he’ll be fine soon.

I touched his hips and slowly turned him around.

“Turn around.” I whispered. We’ll do it together then.

I managed to reach his shoulders and took off the jacket he wore over his entire outfit. Threw it God knows where. My hands travelled from the back of thighs, up and up, touching his butt, moving my hands upwards, never breaking contact, until I reached his neck and then slid my hands down, same pattern.

I am scared to undress him. I am well aware that a certain death is waiting for me on the other side.

If I’m scared, and I still haven’t seen him, wonder how he’s feeling. My sweet boy was so good tonight, he was so good to my friends and they adore him. It’s hard not to adore a face like his. And beyond that, he was so good to me when I was at my worst. He didn’t dare move, even though I was close to kicking him out for real, breaking up with him and hoping he’s leave me until I feel better, then I’d call him and ask him to forgive me. Why did I even think that would work? It’s stupid. He’d stay either way. I didn’t want him to see me like that. I was supposed to be the older one, his protector, his other half, and I was being none. It was humiliating watching him watch over me while I was suffering like that. But Tim didn’t care, not at all. He doesn’t see us and our roles as something to separate. Equality, that was the key, that is the key to our successful relationship. He lets me control him in bed and I let him dictate over me.

The room was silent, my heart was pumping inside my ears, my stomach hurt. I wasn’t drunk, he was a little. Whatever happens, it will pass soon.

Let’s just go for it, I think to myself when I grab the jacket on his shoulders and began slowly pulling it off of him.

Underneath the jacket, one by one space of his bare back began showing up. With every millisecond of undressing him, I began breathing harder. I took it off immediately and just looked at it for a second, or two, or three thousand.

Silky black ribbons were going across his back, one after the other. They were glued to his back, probably already leaving a mark after wearing it for couple of hours now. And the bow tie I’ve been undoing all night long, looked as though it was tied up rather sloppy. That’s because he tried tying it himself. I needed to know who tied him up before the party because there was no way he could’ve done this alone.

“You like it?” He whispered, voice shivering. But he is excited, just the same amount he’s scared.

“You’re killing me…”

I heard him smirk to himself. I really hope he knows what he’s done.

The palms of my hands were already sweaty, my fingers were dancing and I had to find it deep in me to breathe and think for a moment.

I gently tug onto one end and with one pull I release the pressure. The silky ribbon makes a sound like a whip going through air and all of a sudden, the entire shirt loosens up and it’s opening right in front of my very eyes. The bow has been undone. I love the sound the silky ribbons are making as they’re gliding against his flawless skin. I use both hands to open it, spread it, and undo the rest of the shirt. The detailing of the shirt reminded me of tiny diamonds, they were colorful, and if it wasn’t for his back, I’d touch them instead. In the dark I can see marks the silk has left, even though that’s a tough thing to do, he must’ve had it tighten up really good. One by one, I remove the silk from his back and now the shirt is showing off its cause; a backless bib.

My mouth kept on drying off and I kept on licking my lips but there was no use.

I stand up and touch both the skin and the ribbons. He shivers. My hands are cold. Or sweaty. I pull it apart, all the way, and let the ribbons hang beside his body. Just like it did in the picture he sent me.

He’s silent the entire time I’ve been slowly undoing his back.

I love how we’ve come to this stage of our relationship where I don’t have to ask him to let me take him. He knows that already.

Now I make a move and stand in front of him. His eyes are looking down and he’s biting his lower lip.

“Look at me.” I breathe out. It was pure torture.

He does that. His eyes are black and shifting left and right, looking into mine. I put my index finger underneath his chin, bringing his head upwards even more. His entire jaw is shivering. He’s cold, excited, horny and scared.

Then I put my fingers on his shoulders and start pulling the shirt off of him. We’ve had enough fun with it. It fits him so perfectly, he lightly pushed the head through. I watch as the silky ribbons brush over his arms and shoulders. And very soon, it’s off.

I put it on a chair next to my bed. I can’t throw it away simply like that. It’s beyond meaningful.

Quickly, I undo his belt, the buttons and the zipper. His eyes are on me. I can already feel tears gathering in every canal I have around my eyes, but I’m not crying, not yet at least. I help him get out of the pants, pulling them down along with the boxers and his socks. I want him completely naked, in every way that word has its meaning. Releasing his boner that has been building up in his boxers for who knows how long was another great part of our relationship. We make each other hard so quickly and so beautifully. I bend over to unstuck them from his calves, he’s holding onto my shoulders for support.

I stand up again and take one final look. He’s the most beautiful human being I’ve ever met. Inside and outside. My eyes go south, I examine his chest moving slowly up and down. Or is he hyperventilating and I can’t count the number of breaths he’s taken? Just a few weeks ago, he had rope burns all over his chest and wrists and a love bite on one side of his neck.

Now everything has faded away and I feel the need to do it all over again.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispers and interrupts my thoughts.

I look back at his eyes and smile. Trust me Tim, you don’t want to know what I’m thinking about. It’s horrible and disgusting and you’ll be one foot out the door as soon as I open my mouth.

“Tell me. What’s on your mind?” He smiles with me. He has no idea what I want to do to him, and to what extent.

“Hm…all sorts of things.” All sort of things indeed. Nothing good, though.

He looks down and smiles, then he raises his eyes up at me and puts his tiny hands on my chest.

“About me?”

I nodded.

His smile is gone, his mouth is closed. Tim is silent for couple of seconds, or minutes, or a good part of an hour. He’s looking anywhere but my eyes, that scares me. What is he thinking about? Is he afraid of me? Does he trust me enough?

He inhales and exhales and the next time he looks up at me, there is such determination on his face and I can smell the confidence level boosting up inside him.

Tim gently touches my neck through clothes.

“Whatever you decide do to with me tonight, I know you would never hurt me intentionally. And whatever the outcome, I know you could never hurt me.” He smiles, he thinks that will soothe me down but he has no idea what I’ve got inside my twisted head and what has been my plan all along.

Ever since I saw him wearing that sinful shirt, nothing nice or slow has even crossed my mind for a second.

My lips are shivering and so is my voice when I speak out.

“That’s the thing Tim…I want to hurt you. I feel this…need to hurt you.” I whispered, looking away.

I didn’t dare to look him in the eyes after I openly admitted to wanting to hurt him. Who does that?

He’s either speechless in a good way or a bad way, or he’s scared. And disgusted. My eyes are burning.

“Ah, I’m disgusting.” I breathe out and lick my lips, still not looking at him.

Tim scoffs and moves his hands up and cups my face.

“Hey.” His voice is now rather reassuring.

Tim lifts his chin up to look at me. There is not a single expression on his face that I can read but with zero things showing, I can really say that he’s not going anywhere. He’s staying right here.

“You are not disgusting. You are wonderful. And if that’s what you want, then do it.”

His words are like a dream to me. Too good to be true. He can’t mean this. He doesn’t have to do this, he doesn’t have to let me hurt him.

“Tim…” I shook my head slowly.

“Seriously. Do it. Hurt me. I know you’d be doing it out of love and not hate.” He’s caressing my cheeks now.

“Yeah…” I nodded.

Tim removes his hands from my face and is looking down as he’s making his demands.

“Then do it Armie. You can…you can slap me, spank me, choke me, pull my hair, bite me, spit on me…ruin my skin, Armie, leave me with a mark. Make me bleed.”

On the last one, he looks up and pushes his lips against mine as he’s grunting his demands. His hot breath is overpowering right now. My crotch hurts, it aches because he’s so close to me, pushing his naked body against mine and he’s breathing into my face.

“Tim…”

I push him away from me. He’s offering too much. I won’t let him play with me again.

“Why would you let me do this? Why would you let me destroy your body? And don’t say it’s because you love me. I know that’s true but why would you let someone you love to violate your body like that.”

He smiles but soon returns to being serious and is still shaking.

“Well, one of the reasons is because I do love you. Other is that I adore you. And…because I’m curious. I am curious about seeing you in action Armie. You…” He grasped onto my shoulders, “show me the man you are. Show me that animal inside of you, please.” Now he’s grunting through his teeth.

He is everything. I don’t deserve him.

“Tim…” I breathe out.

He stops me.

“Just promise me one thing.”

“Anything.” I swallow.

“Try not to kill me. Literally. I’d like to live and tell about this.” He chuckles, his voice is still trembling.

“If we cross this line tonight…” I start but he interrupts me really quickly.

“ _When_ we cross this line tonight, I need you to promise me one more thing.”

“Anything you want.” I nodded, whatever he wants, he gets. Anything.

“Stay with me. Forever. Just…be by my side. I don’t know where we’re headed but by the looks of it. I’d say we have a pretty big shot heading into eternity. And I don’t want to just leave you be in my life.” He spills it out and exhales. It looks like this has been bothering him for some time and now that everything is out, he can breathe better.

I grin at myself, then at him. He’s trying to frown, but stays calm.

“If only you knew…that I’ve erased people from my past, present and even the future, you’re only one that’s left kid. There is nobody else, nor will there ever be anybody else. You got that?”

He nodded and smiled. When he moved his head to a side, I saw his eyes watering.

I put my hand on his chin and brush my thumb against his puffy lower lip. He’s been biting on it for days, and the entire night.

“If it at any moment you want to stop, just yell your safe word and we’re done. But if you can’t talk at the moment, just tap on whatever you find three times and we’re stopping. Okay?”

He nods.

“Will you listen to me tonight?” I ask him, my voice is strict now.

“Yes.”

“Will you obey me?”

“I will.”

“Will you do as I say, when I say it?”

“Yes, Armie.”

He is not scared. He is terrified. I am scared too. He has trusted me with everything he has. This is a dream come true; him agreeing to obey me and do as I say, and I’m fucking terrified now.

“Okay…get on your knees.”

He obeys in a second, getting down on one knee and then he other, just at the right level with my boner. He’s not doing anything, he’s not talking, he’s not touching me or himself. He’s being a very good boy and is waiting for me to tell him what to do.

“Touch me Tim. And yourself.”

His eyes stayed fixed on my cock when he starts to rub it with his right hand through my pants, and his left hand flies down and cups his own cock. He lets out a deep throat moan when he’s basically holding both of us in his hands. Tim’s tugging on himself, palm wrapped around the head of his cock and rubbing me with his fingers, fighting with a rock hard boner. The one that popped up when I undressed his jacket and came face to face with the silky ribbons grasping against his skin.

I moan lightly and silently with each rub. He is so good at this. This little boy knows how to please a man.

“Take my belt off, the zipper, the buttons.”

He stops what he’s doing and quickly does as I tell him. When his fingers slipped, I helped him with the speed, he’s in a rush, and so am I.

Tim pulls down my pants only by a bit and my cock pops up, almost scaring him, because he did squirm a little.

“Do as I say, okay?”

“Yes.” He was staring at my junk. It’s like a different person to him, he knows how to make love to it as well.

“Open wide and stick out your tongue.”

He does that immediately, looking at me. And as soon as I see him like that; opened mouth, tongue sticking out, his green-dark eyes piercing through me…I felt more and more confident about hurting him and more of it, I felt so sure he’d let me do it and not regret it afterwards.

I grab a hold of my cock and tap it against his tongue. He’s watching this and his smile is spreading. Tim keeps the tongue still as I rub my cock left and right on it. Some saliva makes me shiver.

”Only the head.” I breathe out.

And he’s on it. He twirls around with his perfect little pink tongue and then just bobs the head. He’s sucking the edge of my body where I am the most sensitive, he’s so perfect. He was born to suck cocks. And not just anyone’s, only mine, only mine and nobody else’s. I will not allow it. Watching him spread his cheeks and swallowing even deeper…I wanted to video tape him just so we could watch it later on. It looks like even the head is too big for his mouth. I know I am big, he already made that clear since the first time he’s seen it, but he’s never complained about it.

The fact that he loves sucking me off and loves suffocating off of it, just proves my point that little Timmy here has a choking kink and no matter how much it scares him, it turns him on so fucking much.

“Ah, fuck, just like that baby…” I encourage him and he’s still looking down.

He wanted to grab me but I didn’t want to allow it.

“Hands down, eyes at me, come on.” I said out of breath.

He looked up as soon as I told him to.

Tim put his hands off of my cock and placed them around my thighs as he was sucking religiously on the head.

“Ah, shit…mmm…Tim! I love your fucking mouth!” I threw my head back.

I dig my fingers inside his luscious and wavy curls.

“Wet it, come on.”

He’s looking at me like he’s asking me with his eyes whether or not he’s doing a good job. He doesn’t need my approval, he knows he can do no wrong in my arms, or my eyes.

Tim’s still holding onto my thigh with one hand and stops bobbing my cock, licks the other hand and starts jerking me in the rhythm I allowed him to set on his own. He’s looking up at me, biting his lower lip. He is insane if he thinks this will help him later on.

I’m still holding onto his head while he’s wetting my cock, again and again. We stare at each other. I love how most of the time the fucking happens while we’re just looking at each other. There’s more sex in our eyes than among us.

“Okay, enough.” I breathe out and blink a few times.

He stops stroking me.

“Open wide.”

He opens this mouth, but I know he can do better.

“Wider!”

I can see muscles and veins contracting on his neck, this is as wide as it can get and I am pleased. He doesn’t let me tell him what to do, he just swallows me whole. Well, as much as he can take.

“Take it, Tim! Come on!” I put both of my hands on top of his head as I’m pushing my cock inside his mouth. I’m breathing roughly through my nose. He’s coughing and soon, he’s drooling.

He must breathe.

“Breathe, breathe, breathe…” I repeat it and whisper it to him.

His nails were digging into my thighs and when I looked better at him, tears were streaming down his face. I fucking love his mouth; it’s hot and wet, it’s perfect.

“Fuck! Tim!” I grunted, squeezing my hands around his head.

I pull out and he takes a deep breath, snorting in the snot and saliva.

“Again.” I said.

We repeat it four more times until I was certain my thighs were bleeding. He never once stopped me.

Once I finally pulled out, he coughs two times but still had a bright smile on his face. I am so proud of this kid.

I grab his shoulders and help him stand up. Tim rushes to hug me and kiss me but I stop him and slap him instead.

I felt so vile and the amount of rage driven by love and passion that was seeping from my eyes and my actions, it felt amazing. He was surprised as well but smiled afterwards.

“Undress me.” I spoke every word out so carefully.

Our hard cocks are rubbing against one another.

Timmy unbuttons my jacket, takes it off and throws it away. He pulls the turtleneck off of me and I could see that his eyes rushed to look at my neck; he’s sucked the skin and the blood under the shower only two days earlier. They’re still there, they’re still visible and they changed my plan on what was I supposed to wear at the engagement party. But I am glad he’s loving it so much. We both love staring at each other’s marks, and feeling rather proud and pleased.

I tug the back of his neck and smash our lips together. I shove my tongue inside his mouth, he was taken aback by a surprise but then shoves his tongue inside mine as well.

As much as he can reach, he pulls my pants down but I do the rest.

Now we’re both naked.

“Lie on the bed. On your stomach.”

He does that instantly and arches his butt in the air, tugging the sheets in front of him. Tim looks behind himself.

“Armie…” His voice is low. His nose is running from chocking on my cock.

It makes me smile and it makes me take it down a notch.

“Yes babe?”

“Anything you want. Please. Don’t hesitate. I want to be good for you. I want you to be proud of me. You turn me on so fucking much. Oh, please…I need you…please…ah…” He moans at the end, and is still arching his butt.

I felt the adrenaline rush through my body when he basically just asked me to destroy him.

My perfect boyfriend is the perfect slut. I worship him. I am the luckiest guy in the world tonight.

I stand closer to the bed, contemplating about what should I do with him. I touch his butt, he breathes out, his skin is so soft underneath my touch. Then I take a big swing with my arm and slap his ass. His right butt cheek now has my palm print and a big red circle.

“Oh fuck!” He yelps and pulls his butt away from me.

Tim stiffens and breathes out through a laughter. I smile because I know he likes it.

“You like that?” I caress the spot I just slapped.

He nods quickly, so I just take another swing with my other hand and slap his other butt cheek even harder this time.

He stutters the scream and moans loudly.

I can’t believe I am beating him, and he’s taking it, he’s not stopping me, but…the night is still young.

“Mmm…more…again, again…”

I give him what he wants; I slap him two more times and each time he’s grunting and laughing at the same time. It’s gonna hurt in the morning when he tries to sit down.

“Again! Fuck…” He mutters against the mattress.

“Hold on.” I breathe out and step away from him.

I walk over to the cupboard in the corner of my room, still shaking, and squat to open the lower drawer. That’s the drawer with my toys. Our toys. Timmy’s following me with his eyes. He can guess what I’m looking for.

He wants me to hurt him and I have just the right toy for that. It was never my plan to tie him up, gag him, shove beads or the plug up his ass, no, we’re doing it bare tonight, naked, no props.

I take out the whip with a paddle at the top. I’ve never used one before. I was waiting for the right person. And that right person is now here, on my bed, in my life.

I stand up and look at him. I can read both fear and excitement on his face.

“Give me your hand.” I tell him, I want to show him the strength and the flexibility of the whip I’m about to use on him.

He lifts one arm off the bed and I whip it. Not too slow, not too fast, not too hard. It makes a sound as it’s cutting through air. Tim gasps as he’s watching his skin getting bruised. I bet it hurts.

“Can you take that?” I ask him and whip his hand again.

“I can.” He looks up and confirms this is nothing to him.

Timmy gets up on all fours; he’s reading my mind.

I get behind him, still standing next to the bed. I take a deep breath and exhale. I hate hurting him but I want to so badly, and he’s letting me. This has to be the greatest gift ever; being who you really are with the person you really adore.

“You know the safe word…” I speak softly as I’m running the whip against the skin on his back, all the way down to his ass. He arches into the touch.

“I do.” He mutters against the sheets, preparing for the whip to kiss his skin.

And it does pretty soon, as soon as he finished his sentence, I swing across the air and whip the skin on his butt, hard.

“A-ah!”

He yelped and moved towards the bed again.

“Fuhhhk…”

I strike again, only on the other side. In the dark I can still make out bruises from the whip. When he least expected, I swing again with my hand and slap his ass once more, again and once again. Then I simply couldn’t bring myself to stop. I bet his skin is pulsing, boiling hot, he’s making out incoherent sounds I’ve never heard him make before.

“Oh Go-ah…” He mutters, stuffing his head into the mattress.

I snap the whip again across his one butt cheek and with the hand the other one. His skin is already boiling underneath my touch. Tim’s squirming away from me and is grunting, tugging the sheets even harder.

After each slap, I touch the bruised spot, and every time he shivers and moves away from me even further.

I move upwards and whip his back, over and over again. With such power and rage, I am whipping his skin with barely two second pause. Not giving him time to adjust, just making sure I get everything out of me and onto this poor little kid. He’s almost completely out of it. I don’t recognize his voice or his skin anymore.

He’d back down every time, let out a loud scream, squirm from me, tug the sheets but I’d pull his legs towards me so as not to let him run away.

Are we really doing this? Am I really whipping him without any control or sense of pain? Yes, I am. And I love it.

He’s letting out such beautiful and incoherent sounds; he’s in pain and he loves it.

“You know the safe word!” I say it, repeat it, between every strike of the whip on his skin,

But he’s not saying it.

“Fuuuuck! Armie!” He’s biting onto the covers, I can make that out.

I climb on the bed because I can’t chase after him anymore. I push a hand between his shoulder blades, to which he grunts, and give him the permission to rest for a while and lie down.

He’s hyperventilating. I bet his mind is wiped clean.

I snap the whip across his back again and few more times, until I was sure I made a wound and it was bleeding. It wasn’t but even if it did, he asked for me to make him bleed.

I caress the bruises and he’s shaking and squirming. I slap his ass four more times and now it’s time to give up and stand up. All the blood is rushing from my brain to my cock and suddenly I can’t even think straight. I just want to take him so badly.

“Up on all fours!” I breathe out.

He’s not moving. He’s in pain and he’s dizzy.

“Ah…wai-…” He tried breathing it out, he tried taking a break, but I am not having it.

“I said…” I reached out and pulled his hair, ”Up!”

He’s back on his hands and knees. I throw the whip across the room, not really paying any attention about where it landed. I just know that the sound frightened him. He’s still out of breath when I spit in my hand, slick my hard cock with my saliva and just push inside him in one long go. My eyes rolled at the back of my head at the sudden feeling of warm tightness around me. I dig my nails into his hips when I came back to my senses. He’s not prepared, this came in as a surprise, but I just keep adding pain on top of pain.

“Ah!” He screamed.

“Tim!” I ran my hands from his ass to his neck, tugging his hair as I’m still waiting for a moment to breathe before I start moving inside of him.

He did not see it coming and once I was inside of him, with full length, he collapsed on the bed.

I stayed where I was, kneeling and began pushing inside of him at a normal speed, and later on faster and faster. I slap his ass from time to time.

My hand was trembling, vibrating, it was boiling hot. From my position, I managed to outline a lot of the bruises all over his body that are gonna sting in the morning.

Timmy’s now moaning, his nose I stuffed, I can tell by the sounds he’s making. He feels fucking amazing; so tight and wet, warm and he’s making me tingle all over my body.

He turned his head back and our eyes meet for the first time in a while. I can barely see him, but he’s there.

“Armie…fuck me! Harder! Come on!” He moans it out loudly. I managed to outline his puffy lips.

He’s been such a good boy, taking it all, and giving me what I want. I can’t wait to see him what he’ll look like in the end.

I’m gonna do something even better than that Tim.

I looked around for my pants, and luckily, they weren’t far enough, they were just right where I needed them to be so as I don’t have to pull out of him. He had this time do rest and breathe for a while, I didn’t move inside him, didn’t slap his ass, he was resting now.

I reached out and took the belt out of them.

One hand grasped onto Tim’s hip as I pulled him back onto all fours. I pushed the belt in front of him, tied it around his neck, locked the bust and grabbed a hold onto the other end and wrapped it around my fist.

I start moving again, pulling the belt towards me and absolutely making sure not to pull harder so as not to squeeze him, he could choke or break a neck. I’m being careful.

“You know the safe word, Tim!”

Tim’s back on all fours, his head is lifted and all he can do is try and make a noise, in the end, something incoherent always comes out.

Shivers ran down my spine as I’m fucking him mercilessly and tugging the belt that’s chocking him on the other end.

“Tim…fuck!” This is the greatest sex I’ve ever had.

I’d slap him with my belt too. I slowed down, relaxing the grip of the belt in my hand and holding onto his hip with my other hand.

I stop completely and Tim takes that as a sign to do as he wants. He needs this more than I do, I needed the first part of the night, now it’s his time. He knows what he needs and how he needs it and I give him everything to help him succeed in pleasuring himself. I am still kneeling and Tim starts fucking himself against my cock, back and forth, bouncing off of my cock, taking everything he needs. He’s moaning so beautifully, hitting his own sweet spots on the inside, while I just kneel behind him and watch him in awe and with such adoration. This must’ve been the hottest thing he’s ever done in bed in front of me.

“Mmmm…fuck yeah…” He moaned out.

The entire day has been such a blood rush, it started with the selfie of his back being touched by silky ribbons, went to the party and went through me beating him and leaving bruises and it ends here, when I, on the biggest surprise of the night, was close. Dangerously close.

Everything happened so fast, it couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes since I penetrated inside him. To gather everything; she shirt, the dinner, him obeying me, the blow job, the whip, my hands, his moans, his butt up in the air, the belt around his neck, him begging for more…everything exploded and I collapsed on top of him, crushing him, he grunted once I glued my hairy chest to his marked back. I let go of the belt and immediately it makes it easy for him to breathe and talk.

“I’m gonna come Tim…” I whispered against his temple that was now sweaty.

Then I slowed down completely and let the rush came over me. I burry my face into his shoulder, tugging his curls and pushing him away on the other side as I’m filling him up.

“Armieeee!” I can barely hear him because I stuffed his head into the covers.

But spilling my semen inside of him at the of the night was fucking fantastic.

“Fuuck! Tim! Jesus!”

As much as I wanted to, I didn’t dare to pull out. Not yet at least. I can’t move or think straight anymore. I need a moment.

But I’m not done yet, and neither is he. There is so much more I want to do with him. I found the strength inside of me and got up.

I pull out quickly and grab his thighs, I gently turn him over on his back, he’s making a face, he’s in pain.

I push between his legs and bent down to look at him. His eyes are closed, I can feel him blushing because heath is evaporating from his body, he’s sobbing, eyes squeezed shut. He’s falling apart and he’s never looked more beautiful.

I go for it and kiss him, just to soothe him a little. Tim hugs my neck and then removes myself from him. He’s holding my head in his hands, completely breathless. And then he slaps me across the face. I don’t even get to open my eyes again before he slaps me again.

Little fucker is smiling with his tongue out.

Oh, he’s gonna get it now…

In a short or long trip down his body, I religiously suck the skin on his neck, making sure to leave a mark, biting the nipples, digging my nails into whatever part of his skin I could reach, waiting for him to scream out of pain to make me get away from him, sucking and biting onto the skin of his stomach, truly doing my best to leave a mark.

I go down all the way to his hole, I bend down, lift his legs in the air and shove my tongue inside his pretty little hole.

“Oh! Shit, Armie…mmm!” He’s tugging my hair and keeps on squirming away from me but I hold his thighs to keep him in once place.

When I feel like I’ve sucked everything out, I kneel between his legs, bend down to his face and violently grab his chin. He doesn’t need me to say it, he opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out. I spit all over his face; my cum and my saliva, everything that was mixed is now on Timmy’s face, I didn’t even bother hitting the tongue. He closed his eyes and opened them quickly with a bright smile on his face. I slap him across the face again, and once more and then move on to chocking.

Both of my hands are around his neck and I can see that soon, he’s changing colors. I take no mercy in this. His hands are wrapped around my forearms. Mouth opened, eyes on mine, veins are popping on his forehead. I spit on him again and continue chocking him to death. There are no sounds coming from him, the fact that he’s still blinking, that’s my only sign of life from him.

We handle chocking differently; he’s scared to do it, but loves getting it done on him, and I love getting chocked and being the one to do the chocking.

I let go of his neck and slap him again. Timmy’s smile just keeps on getting wider and wider with each passing second.

He must’ve seen my weak moment because then, he sits up and flips us over. I do not fight it. He straddles my stomach and I have to admit that I love the sudden change in power and control. Let him take the lead now, I am tired. He bents down and starts licking my entire face; from my chin, cheek, eyes, forehead and the same way back. Now he’s the one slapping me, and not once, but five times in total. And of course, he spits on me as well.

I love this. God, we’re so disgusting.

He backs up a little and before I could see or catch up with what’s happening, Tim pushed my cock inside of him and he began riding me all on his own. And he’s not being very subtle of slow about it. I hold onto his thighs, keeping the eye contact.

I didn’t know I had it in me, to get hard so quickly two times in one night. Next to him, everything is possible.

“Jesus Tim…mmm…so good…” I muttered and rolled eyes at the back of my head.

Tim backs up and grasps onto my knees from behind, throws his head back and continues to give me the fuck of my life. He is such an angel to watch him fucking himself on me like that.

He grabs his own cock, struggling so hard so be focused and oriented, and starts jerking himself until my chest were decorated with his semen. Some even landed on my face and I smile widely when he was done. As soon as he came, he was weak again and collapsed on top of me. His arms gave out and I took my chance to flip him again and get him back onto all fours.

I was hard again. And close again. And shockingly, so was Tim.

I enter him again, holding onto his hips as I’m moving inside and outside of his perfectly warm insides. Timmy’s jerking himself again and very soon, he comes again. Maybe it was a delayed reaction from the first one or this hurting thing really fucking turns him on.

I collapse on top of him yet again, feeling so weak and exhausted, filling his insides for the second time that night.

“Ah!”

He yelped once more when my hairy chest met his bruised back caused by a massive force in my hands. It was unbelievable, I couldn’t stop it, and he was so perfect, taking it all, not stopping me, and plus…we both came twice.

It’s over. We’re done. We made it to the end.

I don’t remember ever in my entire life coming twice in a row within less than 10 minutes apart. Could’ve been the delayed reaction or this was the best night ever. Could be both, but it certainly is like no other time neither of us had ever had sex before.

Oh, shit, this wasn’t sex, this was…deeper, something much more darker and vile, cruel and disturbing. And we never stopped. I never even thought of stopping.

We were silent. I heard him breathing, catching his breath, composing what the fuck just happened.

As I was lying there on top of him, trying to come to my senses, I had to think about the alternative way of our night going.

I’d start beating him, he stops me, he runs away from me, I chase him, we talk and we’d have to endure the awkward ride back to his place because I doubt he’d want to spend the night in my bed, covered with the memories of what I’ve just done to him. He’d be the one avoiding me, avoiding the real talk, he’d tell me that he’s fine. Then he’d ask for some time to himself so that he can think about if he’s really gonna let me use toys and whips and rough sex on him. Or even worse, he’d be thinking if he wanted to be with me in the end. We both know that this type of sex and play time does not define me, but still…I wanted to. And then, I think we’d break up. And all the promises we kept and all the plans we made…they’d all go to hell.

This type of thinking, at the end of the night, scared me and made me feel guilty.

But luckily, it didn’t go that way. I am so happy we made it until the end and it made me really, really happy that he never wished to stop me.

My thinking process was cut when I heard him gasp.

“Shit…”

I lifted my head to look at him.

“Armie…quickly…ice…and a towel…quickly…shit…” He muttered.

I didn’t even dare to look what happened. I know what happened already.

I pulled out quickly, to which he hissed, and ran to the bathroom. There was a pile of towels on the washing machine, the ones he’d been using on me when he was nursing me back to health.

Then I went to the kitchen, opened the freezer and pulled out three ice cubes. I wrapped them in a towel and ran back to the bedroom to give it to him. My mind was blank but I was still shaking.

Tim was sitting on the bed and pressing my shirt against his nose. His head was leaned forward. He used the shirt I kept underneath the pillow, the one I was sleeping in. He used the first thing he could find to stop the blood messing everything around. I didn’t mind it one bit.

“Here…” I gave him the towel with ice in it.

He removed my shirt and placed the towel against his nose instead. There was blood coming from his nose, over his lips and some were sliding down his chin.

“Sorry…” He muttered as he was handing me the bloody shirt.

At the end of the night, he’s the one apologizing for pouring blood onto my clothes, and I felt like the biggest jerk because I should be the one apologizing to him for causing the nosebleed.

I smiled at him, joyfully as I threw the shirt on the floor.

“It’s okay. It’s just blood. I’ll soak it in cold water.”

He nodded and exhaled.

“Oh, and there’s blood…” He nodded his head over to the sheets that were covered in few drops of blood.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it one bit. I’ll wash it.” I said and removed the wavy curl from his forehead so that I could kiss it.

He was sweaty and salty.

We looked at each other while still being silent. Timmy then produced a beautiful smile on his lips. I smiled after him.

“Jesus Tim…” I chuckled.

He was giggling now.

“Hey, I asked you to make me bleed and I got it.” He said and winked at me.

“You little…” I shook my head and messed up his hair.

Tim was checking with his fingers underneath the nose if the bleeding had stopped every few seconds. On the fourth time, it stopped.

“I think that’s it.” He said as he was handing me the bloody towel.

I didn’t think twice about it and just threw it on the floor next to my shirt.

My mind was racing when I got up and searched for baby wipes I had somewhere in my room. And when I found them, I gave them to him. He thanked me and got one out and began cleaning what he thought was the hot spot for where his blood was pooling. I took another one out and cleaned his chin, his chest and even his fingers. I cleaned him while he was watching me the entire time.

“You wanna talk about it?” I asked him as I was cleaning his fingers, not looking at him.

“Talk about what?” Is he teasing me or…?

“About what we just did…”

“I don’t think there’s any need for that.” He said.

I threw the baby wipe away and looked at him.

“Tim, I just beat the shit out of you, I slapped you so many times and…spat on you…I fucked you without preparation, and…the belt thing…” I summed up the entire night, kinda feeling very disgusted with myself because I was pointing out weird shit looking at the person that I just ruined, and he didn’t have the face of a person who was into any of those things.

There was no reaction from him. He was indeed confused.

“Um, so? I was there. Did I miss something? Did you knock me out and I forgot a part or two?” He chuckled.

And then I chuckled after him. God, he’s so young and beautiful. What in the hell is he doing with me?

“How was it?” I asked him.

I watch his eyes travel further away from the scene and a smile was widening across his face.

“Fucking brutal. And fucking fantastic.” He breathed out.

He is smiling…constantly smiling.

I push closer to him and hold his face in my hands.

“How are you feeling?” I ask while caressing his cheek.

“Honestly…I feel everything. I’m sore and in a little bit of pain, I am exhausted and can barely keep my head on my shoulders so…thank you for holding my head for me. I feel taken and owned, cherished and worshiped. That’s it. I feel everything.” He breathed out and smiled again.

“You’re so pure and innocent and I just beat you with…” I whispered against his cheek.

Tim pushed me away from him.

“Armie, big guy…I might look innocent and pure but there is absolutely nothing pure and innocent about what we just did. Nor is there anything pure and innocent about how I feel right now. It was good. I’ve never ever before experienced pain during sex and this was like…pain-pain, this wasn’t just a simple spanking session…this was real, and so hot, and so good.”

I want to drown in his mind, in his words, in his eyes…

“I loved watching you being so dominant over me. Well…as much as I could.” He added and chuckled at the end.

I understood what he meant but he wasn’t done just yet. After-sex-talks are always the most vulnerable ones.

“But I’d kneel for you and let you humiliate me, and give you the permission to slap me and spank me and choke me and spit on me any time. Any time.” He spoke with such confidence.

I fucking believe him.

“How did I get so lucky to have you in my bed?” I breathed out, staring into his eyes.

“I ask myself the same question every day since we’ve been together.”

We smile and continue to just rub our faces together.

“Shower?” I asked him afterwards.

“Fuck no. I’ll just wash my face and go to the bathroom, and then we can sleep.”

He jumped off the bed and ran into the bathroom. When I got up again, I checked the time. It was 03:11 am. I picked up the towel and the shirt off the floor, eyeing the sinful shirt he wore that night to provoke me.

He’s waiting for me in the bathroom, next to the sink. I flush the ice cubes because they were already close to melting completely, and threw the bloody stuff in the sink. The cold water ran and we washed the bloody stuff; he did the towel and I did the shirt.

As I’m scrubbing it with cold water, I couldn’t help but think how I am washing away his blood. It’s blood. Blood. And I feel nothing.

“Damn, Tim, you’re a messy little dude…” I chuckled.

“I’m a dude.” He looked at me seriously.

“Do you know when did I first notice you being so messy?” I looked at him and smiled.

“No, when?”

“Our first breakfast. You poured sugar into your coffee and missed by a half and the rest landed on the table. There were crumbs all over your sweater, the table, around your lips and you did nothing about it. You kept filling up the ashtray with the napkin you’ve been chopping off. I thought to myself, damn this kid is so messy, I like it. Because I consider myself a very neat person, and you’re messy, and that’s why we go together.”

He was silent as he was scrubbing away. But in the mirror, I noticed a nostalgic smile on his face. I know what that meant, I feel the same way. How young and innocent we were back then. Our first date.

“That and the fact that we love nasty stuff in bed.” He added and punched my elbow with his.

“That too.”

I put the shirt and the towel in the washing machine after we were done. We brushed our teeth, standing naked next to each other, I walked out so that he could go to the bathroom and went back into my room to pick up the sheets. There were only few drops of blood on the covers, not the sheets, that one I can handle.

I walked in the bathroom and he was standing over the toilette bowl, doing his business, and I was putting the dirty covers in the washing machine. There were no secrets between us, nothing that could make the other one ashamed in front of the other. Well, there was still only one thing I’ve never seen him do, and neither did he ever see me, but I’m still not so sure we’re ready for that.

Under that light I could vividly examine his back. He had red and white lines going over and across his back, hips and his ass, and his butt cheeks were still red and they looked like they were boiling. Good. Because my hand was still very much hot and vibrating. And my cum was sliding down his inner thighs. This was my work of art.

And when he turned around, that’s when I noticed the real bruises. A big hickey on his now left side of the neck, few scratches on his stomach, a vivid bite marks around his nipples, a red line around his neck, white stuff on his cheeks and nose, and some blood on his neck.

He looked so wrecked and ruined. He was perfect. All of those things…he asked for them. From bruising to bleeding. And he got them. God knows how long they will last. Now we’re gonna wear matching turtlenecks in public. Even though Tim loves for his marks to be visible so that everyone can see it and match it with my teeth.

After he was done, I did the same and minutes later we were back in the bed. Tim immediately lied on his stomach and snuggled up against me. Now, I was scared to touch his back. He kissed me and exhaled one last time, and he was done for the night. We’ll talk more in the morning, let the boy rest, he, now more than ever, deserved it. And I fell asleep quickly after him because seeing his reaction to all of this, brought me nothing but joy and easy dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was worth waiting for.🤗  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	56. Lazy day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy spend a lazy Tuesday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Hope you're having a good week! Just a little heads up, don't expect too much out of this chapter, it's just as the title says : lazy. I am gonna throw in couple of weeks or even months in the future in a few chapters because i am getting ready for a big and crazy period of their relationship. Don't jump just yet, i haven't thought about it through completely.🤗  
> About this chapter, i mixed the POVs. It says whose is it, and I never wrote this type of mixed points of views. Anyway, i hope you'll like it, it's a bit boring, enjoy it and let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️  
> And for those of you who are still quarantined, and for the others who are not, like us, please stay safe and take care, health comes first!🙏

Armie’s POV.

I woke up around 7 am with a dry throat. I had to make myself get up and have a glass of water. Tim moved away from me somewhere in the middle of the night, and he was still sleeping on his stomach. Luckily, our bodies were not touching because then I would have to break my heart to wake him up so that I could go and drink some water. I watched every move I made, constantly looking behind me to see if I didn’t wake him up by accident. He didn’t move at all, he was catatonic, almost dead to the world. It was still dark outside when I looked through the window and I noticed that it was snowing again. Tim loves snow, we should play in the snow more often. Yes, a 19 year old and a 26 year old, why not?

I found my boxers on the floor, next to the chair and I put them back on, just in case I don’t feel like sleeping after I finish drinking water.

When I opened the door, and walked to the kitchen, I noticed Archie lying at his usual spot, next to the couch, he was awake. We may have woken him up when we were running all over the place hours ago. I fed him and walked him before I left for the party. Now he’s awake and not sleeping in his bed in my study room. I hope we didn’t frighten him too much after what we’ve done. A lot of whipping and screaming was coming out of my room. The pup is getting old now, he sleeps most of the time but he’s still vibrant and playful. And he adores Timmy. My own child adores him. And vice versa.

I pet him and quietly filled his bowl of food. He munched on it immediately when I walked into the kitchen. I gulped down four glasses of water and went back to the living room. I contemplated whether or not I should take him out for a walk but then I’d have to go back in the room, walk around quietly, dress up and watch my every move as to not to wake Tim up. Then again, I’d prefer for him to be up rather than for me to clean whatever the pup would leave behind. But, just in case, I went through some dirty stuff I had in my bathroom, took them out of the basket and put them on. I waited for Archie to cut off his breakfast and notice me waiting for him, and once he did, I put my jacket on, my shoes on, put his little jacket and his leash on and we went outside.

We were out for maybe 20 minutes. It was a Tuesday morning, it was snowing, it was cold and a lot of people were either walking by or driving by car, going to work, school, running errands. I left my wallet in another jacket back in the room with Tim, so I couldn’t get us breakfast. But who is there to say whether or not I’ll go back to sleep or not, or who knows for how long will Tim sleep? Maybe the breakfast would go cold. I decided to just continue walking Archie and once he was ready, we went back home.

When we got back, he continued his meal and I undressed, put everything back into the basket and walked back into the room. Tim didn’t move at all. I looked inside his jacket and got his phone out, put it on the night stand next to mine, just in case.

I lied down next to him, he was warm, I was so comfortable next to him.

I was tired again and I felt so relieved that my mind was empty. Usually, whenever we’d take a big step forward in our relationship, and he falls asleep before me, I get stuck with many unwanted thoughts. The first time we had sex, I was awake, the first time we had our big fight, I was awake, the first time I tied him up, gaged him and choked him, I was awake. And now, after taking the biggest step forward in terms of beating the shit out of him, choking him with my belt, slapping him, spitting on him, fucking him without any lubrication or preparation, which in the end caused him to pour blood from his nose…my mind was wiped clean and there was no need to go into overdrive with thinking. I believed him when he said he was fine, I believed him when he smiled widely at me towards the end of the night, I believed him he’d done this for us and that he’d do it all over again because he loves to submit to me and loves watching me being dominant. It was so clear, there was nothing he could’ve said or done differently that would cause me to have yet another sleepless night next to him.

Each time after sex, and when I’d feel the point that I may have stepped over the line, I’d be hating myself and feeling guilty for doing so. And now, nothing. If he had said or did something differently, that was still good, it wouldn’t change a single thing. We are maturing and growing, we know the line, we know the amount of pressure the other one can handle, and now, looking back at those sleepless nights, I did not ever wanted to go back to them.

There was still a small part of me that wasn’t aware of what we just did. It was almost unbelievable. It seemed to be too good to be true. I don’t think there is anything else left to ask him to give to me. Except for the part where I would really, really like to kill him and nurse him back to health. But that’s just wishful thinking.

He’s gonna be in pain in the morning, and knowing him, he’s gonna love it. It will hurt, it will sting but I just know he won’t mind it and I can already see him smiling about it. It’s gonna take few days before the bruises wear off. I wouldn’t want to rush the process, let him heal on his own. I’ll have to be careful about where I put hand and if I’m putting it on his back, I’ll have to be gentle with it.

I also remembered I made a promise to him, and his ones back home about taking all of them out to dinner as a token of my appreciation for taking care of my dog. I’ll have to check with Tim when they’re all free and reserve us a table at a restaurant. I’d rather wait two days. Two days because his hickeys will be light by then, it’ll take time until they fade away completely.

I turn my head to look at him. His curls fell over his eyes, I reach out and removed them, he’s not moving. He is in a way snoring but that was barely hearable, only if you come close enough. He’s sleeping on his stomach, one arm bent next to his head. The sheets are covering most of his body. He looks comfortable and relaxed, so peaceful and satisfied. Wonder if he’s dreaming about something, and if he is, I wonder if I’m in there.

I am so possessive, I want to be in his dreams.

There was this need to touch him and try to transfer some of his feelings on myself. I wanted to feel everything he felt. What I know for sure is that we were both now happy, satisfied and in love with each other.

I yawned one last time with a smile and closed my eyes yet again.

Timmy’s POV.

The white bright light kept bothering me and in the end, I opened my eyes. I didn’t want to move, it pained me to move, but there was no other way to hide the light from my face. Even raising my hand bothered me. So it was either to hide my face with my hand or to wake up. In the end, I did both. I moved my hand and when I did, I hit something and that made me open my eyes. I hit Armie. Armie? He’s still asleep? I’m not used to seeing him next to me in the morning. That was very rare. I could only make out his skin, his arms and his chest moving up and down. He was sleeping on his back, that’s all I could make out. My eyes hurt, I kept blinking and blinking just to make some sort of function out of them. Eventually I opened them by force and that gave me a massive headache.

The first thing I saw was that it was snowing again, I forced a smile, I was truly happy but I was still very much tired so I had to force it anyway. Then I looked next to me and saw him. Armie saw sleeping on his back, lips parted and he looked so peaceful. Now I smiled for real. One of his arms was on his stomach and the other one was above my head. So much skin. And hair; hairy chest, hairy arms, beard and his messy and sweaty hair that was now sticking to his forehead. His hair was cleaned last night, now it was dirty. Which was truly indeed justified after last night.

About last night…I was still in pain, every part of my body ached, but I fucking loved it. I’ve never felt so owned and now that it was physically visible, it just made me even happier.

I scooched closer to him and hissed when I did. I wanted to get closer to him. He moved only a bit when I crawled inside his embrace and nuzzled my face into his neck. That woke him up, and when it did, the arm that was above me, now found its way on my back.

“Ouch…” I chuckled.

He breathed out. His eyes were still closed. And his arm didn’t move from my back. Maybe this was just his instinct and he didn’t hear me when I let out a sound.

Armie smelled so good, I was so addicted to his smell. It was something I got used to pretty quickly. So quickly that it was scaring me.

“Armieee…” I whisper his name.

He’s not moving. I do it again. Nothing.

I tap on his chest with my fingers, watching his reaction the entire time.

“Armie, wake up…” I whisper once more and that’s when he finally gave some sign of life.

He inhaled and exhaled deeply. And then he began caressing my back.

“Ouch…Armie…” I chuckled again.

Armie stopped touching my back and only caressed his nose against my forehead and kissed it.

“Wake up…” I whispered again and ran my fingers through his hair.

Armie opened his eyes slowly and then quickly shut them down. He smiled when he saw me.

“Hi…” His raspy voice almost overpowered me.

“Hi you…”

He kissed my forehead again and opened his eyes finally. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.

“What time is it?” He breathes out.

“Ah, who cares?” I brushed the thought away.

“I woke up at 7 this morning, and then came back.” He said.

At 7? What? Today? Where was I?

“Really?”

“Mhm…I got up to drink some water. And then I took Archie out.”

“Fuck, I didn’t hear any of that.” I chuckled.

He looked at me, smiled and then let go of me from his arms, I lied back down on my back and yelped. Armie only smirked at that. Which is good. He’d used to apologizing for everything he’d done to me the night before. Now nothing. He should never apologize for making me feel good. It’s that simple.

Armie lifted the covers and lied between my legs with his head on my stomach.

“I was careful. I took out some old clothes from the basket and put them on. I felt sorry for the pup and took him out.”

I looked down at him and grinned. I was caressing his hair and his swollen face. He had bags underneath his eyes but I can always tell when they’re the good ones and the bad ones. When he was sick days ago, he’d have the bad ones. He looked the same as he did now lying on my stomach, but I knew how to tell which Armie apart.

Silence. It was quiet in the room. And the pain all over my back seemed to be slowly fading away. I knew I had bruises at some places, he’s the only one who knows those places and the exact way they look. I was curious to see them, but I had some bruises in the front places on my body.

When he placed his face on my skin, I felt how hot his cheek actually was and his beard was tickling me.

I was still running my fingers through his hair. I’m guessing it soothed the both of us. He’d exhale sharply and deeply from time to time. I wouldn’t mind falling asleep again. What are we even gonna do today anyway?

Armie then lifted his head to look at me and poked me with his chin.

“How are you?” He muttered.

“Good. You took me pretty hard.”

“I was just making sure, and proving a point.” He breathed out and winked at me.

“What?”

“That you’re just as sick as me.”

Armie raised his eyebrows and I grinned in return.

“Didn’t we already establish that?” I said and we both giggled looking at each other.

“You look beautiful.” He said.

“Armie…” I giggled and covered my face with my hand. What’s wrong with me? It’s not the first time he tells me this. But it is the first time that his morning voice, plus his swollen face made me feel very special. So special that I blushed.

“What? You can’t hide from me. Not after last night.”

He lifted his arm and took away my hand, kept it in his own and kissed my fingers. His lips were so puffy, luscious and full of red and hot blood.

“And I do mean you look beautiful. You’re carrying my marks.” He said, caressing my hand on his cheek.

“And your baby.” I added just a reminder.

“And my baby.” He nodded.

Then he started kissing my tummy. Leaving wet trails of his lips on my skin, kissing our wonder baby. I simply lied there, watching him worshiping my skin, my body and what we, apparently, created.

“What are we gonna do today?” He asked after a while, still lying on my stomach.

“Lie here.”

“Gladly. But we must get out more.”

I hate going out. I’d stake my entire life on these moments; morning, us in bed, in silence, worshiping each other.

Armie lifted his head and looked at me.

“What about we call and book us the restaurant for us two, Victor and Jules?” He suggested.

Oh, right. He did say that he’ll take us out to dinner soon to make up for these two when they were looking after his dog while we were in the hotel, screwing our brains out.

That sounded like the perfect idea. But I would have to wear a turtleneck. Not so much for the hickeys, more because of the belt mark around my neck. I don’t need questions about that; what is that, why do you have it, why are you into that?

I reached with my hand and found my phone on the nightstand. He must’ve put it there. When I opened it and saw the time, I almost lost it.

“Shit, Armie it’s 3 pm.” I muttered.

“Shit, really?” He was surprised as well.

But everything was justified because of last night.

“I’ll call these two and ask them if they want to go out tomorrow, then?” I asked him.

“Okay, yes.”

Armie continued lying on my stomach and I continued caressing his hair while I was talking to Victor.

“Dinner?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“I don’t know where, when he makes a reservation, I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah, great.”

“I’ll tell him.”

After I told him about the party and that I don’t know when I’ll be home, I hung up.

“They’re free tomorrow after 6 pm.” I breathed out and turned my phone off.

“Good. I’ll find us a nice place.”

Armie’s POV.

I barely remember anything else after I made a mental note to make us a reservation for tomorrow night. I fell asleep on his tummy. My head was at about the right size and he was so quiet and soft, I was out almost immediately.

I remember him moving away from me, muttering something like bathroom or water, or even air, I don’t know. But I do remember my face being tickled from his stomach growling. He was hungry, I managed to make that out. I just continued sleeping.

The next time I opened my eyes it was dark outside. And because it was dark, that means that It was night, and when there’s night, there’s sleeping, and Tim wasn’t in my bed. I jerked my body so suddenly that I got dizzy. The lamp on the night stand was on and that was the only source of light in the room. I feared that he went home. I feared that he dressed up, called a cab and went home while I was sleeping. I hate this. He should’ve woken me up. What are the chances that he’s still here?

I jumped off the bed and put on my boxers and my sweatpants. My shirt wasn’t there, Tim bled all over it the night before. His phone wasn’t next to mine. And when I checked the time, it was close to 7 pm. His clothes were in the room which was a good sign. But then again, maybe he left them there and he picked up something of mine, something much more comfortable, dressed up and went home in a cab.

My stomach was growling as soon as I walked out of the room.

And Tim was still there.

He was in the living room, in his boxers, sitting on a couch, legs sprung on the coffee table, the TV was on, he was scrolling through his phone, he was eating some snacks he found and was feeding Archie who was sitting next to him, waiting to be fed.

He never felt more homie. This is him being domestic.

“Hey!” He greeted me when he saw me, mouth filled with food.

I walked over to him. A huge weight has just been lifted off my shoulders.

“I didn’t want to wake you, but I was starving. I found something to munch on before we can prepare dinner.” He said, filling his mouth with snacks.

I was relieved he was still here. Even if he went home it wouldn’t change a single thing about us. After last night, we’re sticking together forever. I have no doubts there.

“And I took Archie out. I did the same thing you did. I wore your dirty clothes.” He said it like it was nothing, like I asked him to bring me a glass of water.

He loves this. I need to stop convincing myself and see the truth, he loves this.

I joined him on the couch, we watched some funny shows together, and Archie was clinging to Tim more and more. He had this face of showing possession, and he showed that when he was in Tim’s lap. Dogs know best. This is the best example ever.

Then I called and made us a reservation for tomorrow night at 8 pm, table for four, name Hammer. Tim told Victor about it

After that, we prepared dinner which would be our first meal of the day. I still couldn’t believe we slept through the entire fucking day. But then again, what did we have to do? Nothing. I don’t start work ay time soon, he’s free for two more weeks. But he was now too lazy to help me out. I was doing the cooking, while he was sitting on the counter, throwing in some ingredients, if he knew what they were and talking about some random topics.

I watched him as he was just sitting there, with bruises that were put there by me, and I’ve never felt so alive. There is this person, this young man, in my life and in my home, and he adores me, he adores me so much he let me beat the shit out of him. And he’s still here. There is something stronger than love, and that’s adoration, but no, this was stronger than that, it was worship, but sometimes…I think there’s more to it, what is higher than worship?

Just because I can and I couldn’t help it, I stood between his legs and pulled his hips towards me. Timmy giggled and hugged my neck, our bare skins were touching. I had to steal a five second kiss from him before our dinner would start burning up.

This is how I see us; half naked in the kitchen, talking, kissing, laughing, being us. I asked for a very small amount of the possibility for our two worlds to collide and this is what I’ve got. No sane man would ever let this go so easily. And I sure as hell wasn’t gonna be one of them.

Between dinner and shower, I took Archie out one last time. I put the dirty clothes from the basket and was out for good half an hour. We both wore these clothes today for only one purpose.

After I got back home, we were getting ready to take a shower together. And even before that, I told him to wait for me in the bathroom as I ran back and got my polaroid camera. I snapped two pictures; his back and his front.

Underneath the hot water he was still squirming and yelping. We showered together, somehow, I don’t know how, but we did it. When we finished, it was only 1 am, and we weren’t tired at all.

So we just got dressed, fell down on the couch and watched a movie on this lazy Tuesday night until Timmy fell asleep first at around 3 am and I carried him back to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	57. For him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy go out to dinner with Victor and Jules. Timmy has a little surprise for Armie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! I hope it didn't take too long to post this time. I am very excited about writing the next chapter. Hope you'll like this one, enjoy it and as always let me know your thoughts in the comments!  
> Stay safe and take care!❤️
> 
> For @Visionsofgideon1983✨

The next morning I woke up before him. Armie didn’t look like he was going to wake up any time soon, he seemed so deep into his dreams and I was happy about that. It was around 9 am when I checked my phone. The first thing that popped into my mind was the dinner; what the hell am I gonna wear?

I turned into those people. Before Armie, I never gave a damn about what was I gonna wear somewhere or how will I look and all that. Ever since he came into my life, I started looking after myself a bit better. Which is good. As a young man there are certain things I never thought I would ever do, and especially now that there is a man in my life, and giving the fact that I am sharing my body and my bed with him. I never would’ve thought I’d shower so much, so often, for so long, same goes for washing my hair. My curls are now getting longer and longer and I don’t intend to cut them because he likes them, he loves my hair, he loves to touch it, caress it and pull it, and I love feeling all those things. I’ll never give up on my curls as long as Armie is around. Same goes for every other hygienic process on my body.

The definition of looking good for someone requires to have someone to look good for. And I have. So now everything I do, I do it for both of us, mostly him, because I love torturing him with my…beauty, like he says, all the time. I love watching him lose his mind over a simple backless shirt and a man bun. Wonder if I can push it further. Of course I can, and I intend to.

I’d have to borrow something from him, I’ll need a turtleneck to hide my bruises. I do hate hiding them and not exposing them for the entire world, but because it’s my brother with whom we’re going out, I’ll have to take it down a notch.

Should I wake him up, or should I just leave him be? Or should I just lie there and look after him? I’ve been looking after him every day for the past two weeks. I loved those mornings when he was still sleeping and wasn’t moving, we would finally have some peace in the room, as long as he’s sleeping and isn’t bitching around, everyone is happy.

I decided to get up and start getting ready for the dinner 12 hours earlier.

Had to be careful not to wake him up and ruin my surprise. I didn’t want to open his closet and wake him up, I just took some of his clothes from all over the room, put them on and I walked out. The first thing I had to do and was looking forwards to doing, was to take Archie out. I put on his little silly jacket, his leash, dressed up myself for the outside and walked out. I even wore his over-fucking-sized sneakers because all I had here were my elegant boots. It wasn’t early but it wasn’t late too, there were only few people outside, it was cold and the snow was light. Archie was more interested in running around me and my feet rather than doing his business. I had to break both of our hearts and remove him from me. Once he was done, he ran back to me and I giggled and began petting him. The pup turned on his back and made me pet his belly, of course I couldn’t resist. Wow, this little guy adores me, Armie must be so relieved.

After we came back home, Armie was still asleep. I filled Archie’s bowls with food and water, and I went out again. I know this neighborhood but I still don’t know which place is good or bad, and how much. After I got us breakfast at the bakery, I went to the local drudgery and bought something I just know it will finish Armie off. I bought an eye pencil, a black eye pencil. I’ll start here, and the next time I’ll include some colors all over my face, maybe a lip gloss, an eye shadow and that brown stuff Jules puts on her cheeks to pop them out. I am doing this for him, because I want him to freak out and, for myself, because, after his words, I do feel beautiful, and this will just emphasize it. I’ll feel more confident and sexy with a little help of dark color around my eyes.

I smiled when I picked the one I liked. I will not show him or tell him about what I’ve got, I’ll wait until tonight when I start getting ready and surprise him like never before. I put it inside my inner pocket and left the store.

On my way back, I imagined how our night would go. I kinda forgot that my brother and his girlfriend are gonna be with us but that doesn’t matter. It would be like our first double date with someone, and I know Jules has been desperate to find a couple to hang out with. Who would’ve thought to look right next door, under the same roof? Some of her friends are single, others are in a relationship in which the boyfriend doesn’t like hanging out, and others just don’t seem to like Victor. In translation, they like him very much, just not with Jules.

But the dinner part was never a part of my thinking, no, I was thinking about what will happen afterwards. What will he do to me? Where will he take me? How many times will he get hard during dinner?

Ah, that thinking got me hard just as I was about to enter the building. I need a relief; awake or not, I need it and I will get it.

Luckily, Armie was awake when I showed up. He was standing in the kitchen, in his boxers, mixing sugar in his morning coffee.

“There you are… I thought you bolted.” He said once I appeared on the door.

I began taking my jacket off, revealing his baggy clothes on me.

“Good morning.” He muttered once I showed up in the kitchen. He embraced me with one hand, while still holding the mug in the other.

“Morning.” I whispered and kissed him, hugging his waist.

“I like what you’re wearing…” He whispered against my ear.

What is he doing? He’s gonna make me even harder now. My body pressed up against his half naked body, he’s whispering into my ear, he’s gonna moan soon.

“Oh really?” I chuckled.

We parted. Oh, hello there…someone’s really, really happy to see me.

“I went to get us breakfast. Oh, and I took Archie out and fed him.”

Armie looked over at the bag with food on the counter and then at his pup who was lying on the couch, fed and satisfied.

“You are fucking incredible.” He breathed out, shaking his head.

I’m about to get even more incredible.

I took one of his hands in mine and pulled him towards me. He didn’t get the message right away, but once I nodded my head towards the bedroom, it finally clicked inside his head. He immediately let go of the coffee mug and followed me to the bedroom. Once we were inside, I took my clothes off, or…his clothes off, and was naked in less than five seconds. Armie was just standing there, watching me, touching himself through his boxers.

Once I was naked, I lied flat on my stomach, butt up in the air and my back on full display for his viewing pleasure.

Armie slammed the door shut, so hard that even I shook.

We didn’t talk, we didn’t make any noise, whatever it will happen, it will happen fast because I got turned on just by thinking about what we’ll do tonight. And what better way to get off than with him.

Armie stood behind me, naked, I felt it. A second later, I felt his wet fingers sliding up and down my rim, his thumb mostly. I arched my body upwards and grabbed one pillow to hug it while he was doing this.

I moaned at the sensation of his fingers touching my rim, my hole, it made me arch my butt into the touch even more. Seconds later, he pushed one and then two fingers inside me. I yelped loudly and bit on the pillow. Soon, the third finger joined the party and I was left with anticipation whether or not will he push inside the fourth finger. Guess not. Armie then climbed on the bed, still kneeling behind me and continued to finger me with three of his digests. He was holding my hips with the other hand from time to time, but mostly, he was touching himself, and I heard that. The fact that he had the full view of my bruised back and my rim, was clearly enough for him to finish us both. I kept waiting for him to enter me but that never happened. And once I realized that he’s only gonna finger me in the morning, I began touching myself and moaning loudly into the pillow.

Armie sped up faster and faster, almost to the point when I felt I could take two more of his fingers, and even his whole fist. I am so opened for him. After weeks and weeks of him preparing me, using lube and fingers on me, I was now easily opening with just the saliva and few fingers. It must’ve been the butt plug. That little thing helped us a lot.

I grunted loudly when I just started coming. White semen came out of my cock and right onto the white sheets. A loud moan escaped my throat. Fuck, this is so good, this feel so fucking good. He just made me orgasm with his fingers and nothing more.

I heard Armie breathing heavily in a silent room, and I knew he was close. When he pulled the fingers out and grasped violently on my hips, I knew he was gonna come. One of his hands was holding me in place while he was jerking himself off with the other one. I felt stripes of sticky substance all over my bruised back and my rim.

We’ve never come this fast.

Afterwards, he collapsed on top of me, getting himself dirty as well.

“That was beautiful, Tim. Just the way I needed to wake up today.” He whispered against my temple after couple of minutes of just lying in silence.

“I’m glad you had fun.” I giggled and looked behind me.

Armie’s soft and dreamy blue eyes were staring at me and I felt like I could read every damn emotion in them. He looked so relaxed and calm, satisfied and most of all, he looked happy. Wonder if he could see that in my eyes as well? Because I am. For the first time in a really long time, I am happy and relaxed all the time and it is all thanks to him. I am sure he knows this, but I doubt he understands just how much he’s changed my life. None of my days are the same with him as they were without him. I have different goals in life. I am not so negative or grumpy all the time. I can and I need to talk about my feelings with him and I love doing that. I am happy all the time.

“Hm, let’s eat.” He said after a while as he was getting up from me.

My bruised back had his marks and now his semen on it.

“Coming…” I muttered as I was getting up myself.

We put our clothes back on, all dirty and sweaty and went out to eat.

A mental note for tonight: must change the sheets once we finish breakfast.

We started getting ready around 7pm. He showered first, washed his hair, while I was ironing our clothes after I changed the sheets. After he was done, I showered and washed my hair as well. I called Armie to help me and put some body lotion all over my back because I couldn’t reach it and because I loved it when he’d touch my bruises he put there. After that, he went back into the room and started getting ready. I brought the clothes with me to the bathroom, Armie gave me a black turtleneck and I smirked because it will match with my black surprise. Once I was dressed, I walked out and got the pencil from my pocket.

When it was time to put it on, I had no fucking clue how to do it. What a fucking idiot. I want to put it but I didn’t know how. I tried something at first but I poked my eye twice which caused my eyes to water, and then I had to take some time before I calmed down and continued putting it on. Eventually, I gave up and looked it up on YouTube. I found an easy tutorial and as it turned out, what I decided to put on, was only about 0.002% of make-up of what they actually put on their eyes and the rest of the face. I’ll have to look for more just to make my eyes pop better. For now, I just settled with a simple dark eye pencil. And when I put it underneath my eyelids, I liked it, it was visible because my eyes were green, so I put it four more times just to make my eyes pop better.

With the black turtleneck and dark curls and dark eye pencil around my green eyes, I looked good, even to myself. Let’s see what he says.

We were supposed to meet these two in 15 minutes.

I walked outside. Armie was sitting on the couch, already dressed up, scrolling through his phone. While I was getting ready, he took the pup out and fed him.

“You ready, babe?” He asked, never taking his eyes off the phone.

“I think so.”

And then he stood up and looked up, and I looked up, slowly, teasingly.

Armie’s entire facial expression changed, his face softened and I could actually make out his pupils changing, going darker and larger.

I stood there, looking at him, waiting for him to speak.

“Tim…” He breathed out, looking at my eyes.

“Can you see it?” My voice was shivering.

He took a few steps closer to me and put his hand at the back of my neck. Now he can see me even better. I love his reaction, I did it all for him.

“How could I not? Oh my God, what did you do? You look…stunning…” He grinned.

“Thank you.” I smiled.

Armie pulled me closer to him, attaching his lips to my forehead.

“Why are you doing this to me, first the shirt and now this…” He whispered.

I didn’t answer him. Quite frankly, I was a bit scared but he liked it and his entire deminer changed once he pressed up against me.

We arrived first, couple of minutes before 8 pm. They showed us the table and we sat down, waiting for my brother and Jules to come. And they did, at exactly 8pm. We saw them coming in. The restaurant wasn’t full, it was Wednesday night and other two tables had been filled. They were sitting opposite of us, like two couples.

They really outdid themselves; Jules was wearing a short dark green dress with long sleeves, and she had her hair lifted in a ponytail. Of course, I was examining her makeup, just to take few tips from just looking at her. I must use something out of it. And Victor wore a blazer and I noticed he cut his hair. I’ve been out of the house for three days and it felt like it’s been months.

We all ordered drinks, and after we made the first round of it, we ordered food, just in case, and another round of drinks. I drank cola-rum, that’s what I can take. Armie toasted to dinner, to these two who looked after the pup, to me, for taking care of him. Everyone had something to gain from tonight; they’d get a very nice meal in a very nice restaurant, Armie would get me, naked, with makeup, and I’d get both, and automatically, that meant I’d get everything.

Food came and we all munched on it. I really enjoyed being with the three of them. Of course, in a different company, everyone will show a different face. Armie did, and I know Victor did as well, they were like strangers to me now, but in a good way. Armie was talking about some famous and some not so much famous stories to all of us, Victor would have to connect to them with his own stories, Jules as well. I am sure I showed a different face to all of them as well. Especially because we were all a little bit drunk. After dinner, we ordered dessert and continued to just enjoy our time together, popping in how we should do this more often and so and so.

But we had fun, we enjoyed the drinks, the dinner, the stories, and the laughter. And I’d catch Jules eying Armie a lot…a lot. I am sure he noticed it and was flattered by it, he even reciprocated a few times but that was it. I was wondering if she would look at us, opposite her, and picture us playing with ribbons and ropes and whips. Now that she knows how freaky we are…

And before I knew it, it was midnight, and the restaurant was about to close. The last table emptied at around 11 pm. We were the only ones left.

I hope these two noticed my eyes and how puffy they were getting because I was drunk, and I can bet they noticed Armie’s decorated neck. My marks on his necks were fading away, but his on my neck were still very much fresh. We were not showing any sort of affection in public, and in front of them, he’d touch my knees and thighs from time to time, and I’d do the same, also touching his hair and his chest. But that was it.

I got up and went to the bathroom. Once I was done, I looked at myself in the mirror; my entire face looked swollen and everything was spinning around me. I was feeling dizzy and very intoxicated. I had the pencil with me and I had to shake my cheeks a bit to stabilize myself so that I can put the black eye pencil again.

Once I was done, I walked out. And as I was walking out, I noticed a piano.

I was instantly drawn by it. I haven’t played in a very long time, and I wanted to, I really did. The piano was big and elegant, and there was no one except for the four of us and the staff. Armie has never heard me play, he knows I play it, but maybe tonight…

I shook the idea off and went back to the table.

“What was that?” Victor asked me when I sat down.

“Hm?”

“What were you looking at? You looked blown away…”

“Oh, I saw a piano.” I said.

“Really? Will you play for us?” Jules jumped in. She was really drunk.

“No, I…I haven’t played in a very long time…and I don’t want to bother the…”

“Tim, we’re all wasted, whatever you play…” She added and giggled.

“Have you ever heard him play, Armie?” Victor asked him.

“No, never, but I would love to…” Armie looked over at me with a huge grin on his face. If I add a piano now…

“He’s like an angel.” Jules’ voice was so soothing, I actually believed her.

“Go.” Victor said.

In that moment, Jules got up and took me by the hand and I followed her back to the piano.

“Come on, Tim…”

I was visibly embarrassed but I saw that Armie was following us. He was drunk as well but not as much as Jules.

“Is it okay if we use the piano for a while?” Jules asked one of the employees that were at the bar, probably waiting for us to finish up and go.

“Knock yourselves out.” The guy said and smiled at her.

“Thank you!”

She sat me down and all three of them hung themselves on the piano, waiting for me to start playing something.

I haven’t touched those keys in so long, and plus, I was drunk, I could forget something. There were so many options going through my mind and I couldn’t decide on what to play. It was crazy. I raised my head for a moment and once my eyes were intertwined with Armie’s, suddenly, I felt a huge amount of inspiration coming my way.

I began tangling the keys. Yes, I made few mistakes at first, but I’d go back to the beginning every time. Luckily, those three drunk bubble heads never figured it out and I was fine afterwards.

I start with “Une barque sur l’ocean” by Andre Laplante. It sounds light and beautiful, and I can only hear them all gasp as I’m following the melody with the movements of my head, closing my eyes at times. I can hear comments all over the place, they’re breathing out, I can always tell which one is Jules because she loves that she has at least one person in her life that knows how to play the piano.

Two years ago, we were spending winter vacations in a sort of a cabin on the country side. They had a piano in the lobby and Jules would push me to play it. Either for her or just in general. She would lean against the piano and close her eyes and listen to whatever my fingers would make out of touching those keys. Now, it’s the same scenario.

After that melody, I moved on to Bach and “Capriccio on the departure of a beloved brother”, and this one just swallowed me. Forget the fact that it was closing time, forget that we’ve been here for hours, drunk as fuck, forget that I have to forget either of those things. I shed a tear in the end, nobody knows the real meaning behind this melody but it was enough that I did. But somewhere in the middle, I looked up and met Armie’s eyes. I managed to make out a long wet slide down his cheek. Was it the melody, was it me? Maybe I’ll never know, maybe I will soon enough, but this melody holds a special meaning to both the creator and to myself.

Afterwards I played something else, and then I was done. Every single person in that room clapped for me. I was blushing as I was bowing myself to the staff and to those three people that sat around the piano and were losing their minds over whatever melody my fingers created.

Armie smiled widely at me and hugged me from the side for merely two seconds. I understood why is that, we only do these things in private.

“That was…beautiful Tim…” He muttered.

“Thanks.”

He said the same thing to me this morning.

We left after 5 minutes. Of course, Armie’s treat. We were the last ones there, and I think we might’ve pissed everyone off but after what I played, I think we’re gonna be fine. They will remember this.

We parted on the way out as each couple was getting into their own cars. Victor and Jules thanked him, Armie thanked them as well again, told them to drive safe and to text me when they get home. I hugged these two and we left.

As soon as we sat inside the car, Armie grabbed my face and smashed our lips together. I felt his parfum, the alcohol he’s been drinking, the food he ate, cigarettes he smoked, and among all of those scents, I tasted his tears. I kissed him back, trying to push inside him, melt with him.

“I’ve never heard anything so beautiful…you really are an angel when you play…” He breathed out.

“I was thinking of you when I was playing it.”

“And you’ve never looked so beautiful like you do tonight. Look at those eyes…look at those lips…perfection. Perfection right in front of me. And you’re all mine.” He breathed out and touched my face, every part so gently.

“I will do this all the time if you want me to.” I said and meant it.

Armie smiled at me and let go of my face. He breathed out deeply, still having trouble believing that I am his. Apparently, he was in a rush as well. He looked fine to be driving, I trust his judgement, also, I know that a man of that size needs few more drinks to be totally wasted like I was.

And as we were driving back home, I pulled out a very famous trick from months ago.

I want him now.

When he wasn’t paying attention, I just simply put my hand between his legs. Armie squirmed a little only because he was surprised. And this was not safe while driving. I saw with my peripheral vision that he was looking at me, but all I did was continue to undo hi belt with one hand, the same belt that marked my neck, undid the zipper, the buttons came out in one slide, and I pushed my hand inside. He moaned softly and sharply. Then I dived in better until my cold hands cupped his cock that was getting harder and harder in my hand with each passing second.

On the stop sign, he should’ve turned left to head to his apartment, if he were to go straight, he’d go to my place, but he turned right and that’s when I turned to look at him, and he looked at me. He read my mind. We’re going back to our place, the place where we experienced something very intimate for the first time couple of months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both melodies i listed in the chapter are from Call me by your name. The first one was in the scene "You know what things" and the second one is very obvious, when Elio played for Oliver for the first time and kept changing the melody.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	58. Melting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy have some fun in Armie's car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes!! I was so excited today that i wrote this chapter so fast. Finally some good news to keep me going : Because of the state of our country, my city and the local hospital, they decided to end our internship, i worked 5 months out of total 6, and i'm getting the remaining signatures tomorrow and then i am fully done!😄 I was happy and sad at the same time today when i found out, maybe a little bumped out because i really liked working there, especially the surgical department where i was when quarantine started. Either way, i am done, for a while, the next step is an exam that i'll be taking in July and after that...who knows, i'll either apply for the job here or start learning German and go away.🤗  
> Okay, enough about me, here's today's chapter as my celebration gift to you all amazing people. Enjoy it, hope you'll like it and as always let me know your thoughts in the comments.❤️  
> Stay safe and please take care!🙏

The place was empty as it was few months ago. Couple of minutes before we arrived, I was looking all over the road and realized that there was no one in sight, absolutely no one, it was like a ghost town. I never let go of him until we arrived. I never moved my hand, never initiated a sort of action on his cock, I just simply held it in my hand. And by holding him, it was growing harder and harder, the closer we were getting to the abandoned place.

A snowy road and few naked trees covered in snow storm, and zero life. Expect for the two of us.

Armie turned the car off when we arrived at the exact same spot we captured months prior. He undid his seat belt, which made me take out my hand, and I undid mine. He pulled me in and kissed me, hard, and slow, with tongue, and no room to breathe. He was pulling me closer to him and I really didn’t know whether or not he was pulling me to sit on his lap or that was just in the heat of the moment.

“Ah, I need you Armie…” I moaned into his lips, already reaching down with my hand to cup him again.

“I know babe. I need you too…so badly mmm…”

I removed my hand again and undid the zipper on his jacket.

“Are you sure you wanna do it here?” He stopped me, holding my hand.

“I…I don’t know…you?” I completely blacked out, I was confused. Now that I think about it…the harmless blow job from months ago was just that, harmless. But this is sex we’re talking about.

“I’m up for anything.” He breathed out with a grin on his face.

“Then let’s do it.” I nodded and continued kissing him.

Guess we’re staying here. We’re gonna have sex in his car. Oh my God! We’re gonna have sex in his car!

“Should we go on the back seat?” He asked me as he was undoing the zipper on my jacket and helping me take it off.

“No, stay here…”

If we were to go on the back seat, we’d have to stop here, get out of the car and move behind us. Why bother with so much work when we can just do it here?

Armie took his jacket off and threw it on the back seat. I did the same. My fingers rushed to help him undo his pants just a little, to the half way on his thighs. He jumped on the seat and soon, his cock, which I have been religiously holding onto for the past 10 minutes, was finally free.

And then he rushed to do the same for me. Only this time, Armie reached out and grabbed my calves, pulled them towards him so I’d sprung my legs on his lap and began untying my shoes. I giggled and watched him as he was so eagerly hungry and rushing to get my feet naked. One shoe was off, he threw it on the back seat, the other one was off as well and joined the others on the back seat. Then he reached out for my buttons and the zipper, undid them and pulled my pants, along with my boxers, off of me. He threw them on the back seat as well. I brought my legs back to their original pose. I sat there, half naked, watching him adjusting his pose, already breathless. Armie put his right hand on the back of my head and pushed my head slowly towards his crotch. I did the rest.

I made myself comfortable on my seat as I bent down and began sucking his cock.

“Oh…” He panted the second I closed my lips around him.

He inhaled sharply and moaned as soon as my hot tongue touched the skin. Tasting his skin and eating him up was exactly what I had expected to do at the end of the night. But I couldn’t go any deeper because I was still very much drunk and I was scared to hit the gag reflex and ruin the night. I only stayed on surface, sucking and licking the head of his cock and going deeper than that. Armie was inhaling and exhaling sharply and loudly above me, holding my hair with one hand and caressing my back with the other. I was still wearing his turtleneck but he beat me to it; he raised the sweater up to my armpits and was caressing my skin and the bruises he put there. It caused me to gasp and simply hold his cock on my tongue from time to time.

Everything happened so fast. It felt like 5 minutes ago, we were at dinner, eating, laughing, I was playing the piano, and now we’re alone, out in the middle of nowhere, half naked, getting ready to have sex in the car. And to think that I changed the sheets back at his place so that we could have sex in his bed. But I love adventure, and I love discovering new sex positions, and more important, new places we can run off to and new places where we can connect. Besides our apartments and the hotel, this is the first time we’d be having sex outside of our comfort zone. And no bed.

I can hear him swallow violently above me, he’d grunt and gasp, his voice would fall silent, but I changed absolutely nothing. I continued sucking him off in his car, swallowing his meaty cock, clenching my jaw around it, already feeling the neck pain. He’s still holding my hair and running his hands up and down my back. I’d pop him out, and stroke it slowly, all wet and swollen, while looking above me, trying to keep the eye contact as long as possible. We haven’t even started yet and already, Armie’s a mess. How in the hell is he gonna get through this?

That’s when I went back down and sucked the head of his cock for few more times, slapped his meaty junk on my tongue and popped him out for good. He won’t last. We must get straight down to business.

As soon as I sat back into my original pose, Armie pulled me towards him and I sat on his lap, facing him. For a big guy, he had a big car and a lot of space inside, that’s what worried me the most, how are we even gonna fit inside, but we managed. I still had space above me so as though I was not hitting the ceiling. And Armie pushed a hand next to my right leg and suddenly, we flew backwards and he even pushed the back rest as down as it possibly could go; some sort of mixed up various of lying down and sitting. And I had enough space for my legs, so I won’t have to squat above him.

I began removing my turtleneck when his hands on my elbows stopped me.

“Don’t…you’ll freeze…” He mumbled.

“I won’t. You’ll warm me up soon.”

That’s when I noticed that all the windows were starting to get foggy and his hair was already sticking onto his forehead. We’re gonna melt.

I removed the last piece of clothing I had on me and threw it behind his head. Now I was fully nude.

“Besides…I want you to look at my body.” I added as I bent down and started kissing him.

The hot air was already all around us.

Once we parted, he took his sweater off as well and threw it on the seat next to us. Armie pulled me towards him and now I was sitting on his hard cock.

I was breathing heavily.

Armie then pushed a button on the door and cracked the window just by a bit.

“We’ll suffocate.” He said it as an explanation to why he opened the window a bit, and pulled me down and was kissing me again.

I arched my back as much as I could.

Armie moved to my neck and took some time there, while I threw my arms behind his head, and was hugging him and the car seat. I love that we had some air and some space.

When he moved back to my lips, Armie’s fingers ran down from my shoulders, across my naked back and he finished them off by putting them on my butt cheeks. He dug his fingers inside my skin and began moving my hips back and forth, just to give it a little start up. I did the rest. I was now grinding against his exposed crotch, feeling myself twitching couple of times, and Armie noticed it to because my cock would jump between his and my stomach, which in the end resulted in him grinning against my lips.

But as much as we both wanted to just head straight to fucking without a care in the world, there were some obstacles that could’ve been dangerous. And when a man is in heat, a man like Armie, there was no telling what lines was he gonna cross just to get off. Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I decided to test him.

“We should stop. We’re gonna get caught.” I muttered against his chin as I was sucking it now.

That really was a possibility.

“We won’t…” Armie breathed out.

“We will.”

“I don’t care…” He whispered and stopped my hips, pulling me even closer to him.

Test completed. I’d get it as a failed one if he were to bolt right away. But we’re both freaky and nasty, and we get off on weird stuff, and sex in the car in the middle of nowhere, with snow around us, just fits perfectly on our resume.

He stopped kissing me and I glued our chest together when I saw him wet his fingers, and before I knew what was happening, he pushed his hand behind me and inserted one finger inside. It hurt.

“Ah…ah…Armie…” I hissed and grasped onto his shoulders.

“Sorry, sorry babe…” He whispered and started kissing my neck, soothing me down.

I love how he’s apologizing for fingering me unexpectedly, but mentioned nothing for beating the shit out of me only few days ago.

I smiled at his words.

“It’s okay, it’s okay...” I whispered against his forehead.

The entire finger went inside too quickly, and then the other one joined it.

I looked down at him, squeezing his shoulders as he was moving his fingers very fast, speeding a lot.

“Oh, fu-u-u-u-ck, Armie!” I screamed into thick and hot air, “Just…hurry up…I need you Armie.” I moaned his name.

He swallowed and nodded his head, the fingers rushed out of me very soon. He wetted his fingers again and pushed them behind me once more. They made that erotic sound I loved so much. We were rushing and everything was handled without any care in the world.

Soon, I felt the head of his cock at my entrance, and I pushed my hand behind and did the rest. He was just watching as I was practically sitting down on him.

The feeling of having something massive shoved inside me as we’re cramping up inside the car, and while I was still very much drunk…that was the moment when I felt everything. Every single thing. Until he was fully inside me, I couldn’t breathe normal. I was digging my fingers into his shoulders. He was already sweaty and it made me slip. Why the fuck did it feel like he was pushing inside for minutes, when in reality, I just know it was only few seconds? Keep it together, Tim, you know his size, you’re already used to it.

Oh, God, I’m so full!

I felt him going in all the way, and once he did, he wasted no time and grasped onto my hips and began moving them back and forth. The pain was slowly fading away and pleasure stepped in. And with that, I stopped digging my fingers into his skin and began moaning. Fuck, this felt so good; a small space, the fog, the heath, him all sweaty already, me drunk and hooked and connected to him.

If we get caught, it will all be worth it.

I moved on top of him, back and forth, his cock was boiling hot inside me, and I could feel myself sweating. Armie was looking up at me, mouth slightly opened, I could read adoration on his face. Maybe it was something else, but my drunken mind read it as adoration. And why shouldn’t I? He adores me.

“Fuck…” I mumbled in the air and threw my head back when I sped up.

His hands were around my waist, guiding me and dictating the speed he thought we both needed. Armie then pulled me down towards him, hugged my body closer to his, and began slamming inside me on the other end.

“F-u-u-u-c-c-k…A-a-ah, Armie-e-e-e…” I stuttered loudly.

Fuck this feels so good I wanted to cry. My make-up is gonna smudge from all the heath inside this tiny space.

Armie pulled my hair and smashed our lips together and proceeded to slam again inside me. He knows I like it this rough. We both get off on this.

I couldn’t kiss him properly because my hole was being ripped apart from the speed and strength he was putting inside me. Armie was grinning at that. The fucker knows exactly how to destroy me.

We parted and I managed to catch some breath but it was almost impossible, it was too hot in the car. Armie was red in his face and that’s the only color I could make out in the dark. But I know he can go redder.

Without any ounce of fear or shame or even regret, I wrapped both of my hands around his neck and squeezed them tightly. Armie’s jaw dropped from the surprise but at the same time, he saw it coming in a way. I smirked at that as I speed moving on top of him. Now I am definitely in control. I was dizzy and in command. All he has to do is sit here and handle me, and have a big hard cock.

And to think that months prior on this very spot, I sucked his cock, the same big beautiful meaty junk I am now plotting to tear off of him. He doesn’t even need it. I do.

I squeezed again, tighter, and when I felt him limping inside my grip, I held my hands there, not moving what so ever. This scares me, still, but he likes it, and he knows his safe word. Just tap on something three times or yell the capital of Japan.

His face color changed quickly and I loved it. I want to be good for him, I want him to be proud of me, I want him to see that I overcame this fear of chocking him.

I let go after some time and slapped him across the face. All that stirred up something inside Armie because then I felt him swelling up down there and I slowed down gently.

“Fuck, Tim…you…ah…” He breathed out and licked his lips.

I raised my eyebrows and smirked at his reaction.

“Turn around.” His voice was stiff and direct, and quite frankly, it scared me a little.

I sat back on his lap and made a half turn with my right leg over his, then moved in a circle again, until I reached the stirring wheel. I held on to it as I was adjusting my body on top of his. He never pulled out. Now I’m in his lap, the only way I love getting off inside my head.

And now he was the one who is dictating the movements I make on top of him. He’s holding my hips and helping me move on top of him, grinding on his cock and even jumping a little.

I held the stirring wheel and leaned my head up against it as he was pushing and pulsing inside me.

I was resting on one end and getting pounded on the other end. This is the greatest feeling ever.

Armie was moaning and grunting behind me, and he did not hesitate with touching my back. He loves looking at it, after all, this is the proof that he owns me. When the bruises fade away soon, I will beg him to beat me up again so that I can always have something on my skin that represents to whom I belong.

Never have I ever imagined that I’d be the person that loves to be owned by someone. Much less likely a man. Six months ago, I’d laugh if someone were to tell me: Oh you’re gonna meet this guy in a bakery, fall in love with him, yes, you will love a man, yes you will have sex with a man, and he’s gonna love you too, more than love, he’ll worship you to death. And you will reciprocate it, you will fall into his arms, he will take you to a hotel, you will be locked with him for days, you will let him do all sorts of things to you, and before you ask, sexual things, tying up, gagging, ropes, chocking and all that, and a cherry on top of the cake will be when he beats the shit out of you and you will like it, because you asked for it, and both of you will love the bruises, he’ll love to look at that and you will love him looking at them. You will start wearing backless shirts and make up, and you will change everything for him, and for yourself, but don’t fool yourself kid, it’s more for him than you. He will meet your family, they will love him, you will meet his brother, he’s an ass but what are you gonna do, you will love his dog and so will he you, he will do anything to stop you from meeting his conservative mother just to protect you. And, he will drive you in the middle of nowhere and you will have sex with him in his car, sitting on his lap, naked and sweaty.

This is the summery of our relationship in my head. It sounds beyond crazy, but this is where we are now.

And the feeling is out of this world. We fit so perfectly together, it’s making me dizzy and I want to cry, just cry. I am so drunk and emotional. My head is still lying on the stirring wheel, rolling my eyes all over the place, letting out incoherent sounds. I am so glad he is making some noise behind me, panting and grunting. Skin slapping on skin.

I felt the same way I felt when we were in the hotel room, when he tied me up and jerked off in front of me. I felt like an electrical wire, every word, every touch, every sound will set me off over the edge soon.

And like Armie was reading my mind and being stubborn, he hugged my waist with one of his arms and pulled me down on him; my bruised back touching his hairy and sweaty chest.

I swallowed a sharp breath and closed my eyes because I didn’t expect this move at all. I didn’t want him to touch him, I didn’t want to be glued to his chest, I didn’t want to feel his breath against my neck. But he did it all, all along, moving inside me, slowly now but he never pulled out. And that is what I wanted. I wanted for us to be connected but not touch, not touch physically, I wanted for us to touch on the inside, internally, by our souls, our organs, our blood.

My body will go into overdrive if he touches me somewhere else. I got shivers and began trembling when I felt his lips on my shoulder.

And when I opened my eyes, I realized I was crying. This is too much, even for me, and I took it all. This was another level, another stage of my mindset while he’s inside me. I was exhausted, drunk, emotional, a fucking electrical wire, touch me again and I will explode.

And when he did, I sobbed. And Armie reacted.

“It’s okay baby, cry it out…” He breathed out every single word out.

I wasn’t crying because I couldn’t breathe, or because I was in pain. I was attracting everything around me, every sound, every touch, my body was floating. I held onto his arm with both of my hands, I was the one who needed to be touched and the one who needed to hold onto something real, just so I don’t fly away and get lost.

“I love you…” He whispered, “I love you so much. I am in love with you Tim, so much…”

I didn’t need confirmation, I knew that already. And so did he. That’s when Armie stiffed underneath me and we stopped. He grunted loudly against my skin and I felt him coming inside me.

We stopped and waited for him to fill me up because it would’ve been a true crime if he was to come somewhere else. His semen belongs inside me and nowhere else. He was shaking when he was done, and he exhaled into my back.

“Armie…touch me, I’m gonna…”

I didn’t even finish my sentence when his hand was already on my cock and he only stroked me three times and I began coming all over myself.

It just kept on going and going, splashing on my stomach, my chest, his hand as well, grunting out loud. My eyes were closed but I knew the amount I let out and it was a massive load, probably the biggest load ever.

When I was done, and still held my eyes closed and held onto his arm, I began shaking, I was cold. I rarely ever start shaking because of the coldness around me after an orgasm, especially because we made a fucking desert weather inside his car. But yeah, I was cold and shaking.

Now that we were both done, we stayed attached even after we went back to breathing normally. I don’t want him to pull out, he will break the bubble we created, but it was extremely dangerous. And I was thankful when he did and I almost didn’t notice it because I was still under the influence of a massive adrenaline rush.

I was still cold.

Armie kissed my shoulder and my neck and grunted when some time had passed and he was already outside me.

The next exhale he made was the one that said that he was glad that it was finally over but that he hated that it was over, all at the same time.

I swallowed and opened my eyes to take a look at the environment. All of the windows were foggy, I could make out the white surrounding around the car, and when I looked down, I noticed both of his hands on my tummy, caressing my skin with his thumbs. I touched them and turned my head to the side to look at him.

Armie’s eyes were now dark blue and half-opened. And then he smiled, he looked exhausted, probably because he was. I moved closer and attached our lips together, and, I did something I never did before, I put his right hand over my heart, and put my hand over his. Forget the fact that this is the same hand that was already covered with my cum, I wanted him to feel my heart beating fast and strong.

“Fuck, Armie…I never came this hard.” I breathed out and smiled, looking at his eyes.

“I saw that. And I agree…” He nodded his head towards my chest.

“Hey, I didn’t magically began orgasming after I met you. I had sex before you.” I brushed his chin with my index finger jokingly.

“Those do not count. Did they ever love you the way I do? Took you out in the middle of nowhere like I did? Made you come this hard…like I did?”

He knows this already. And as much as we wish we could erase our sexual history and pretend like he was my first and I was his, it was…impossible. But I was his first, and he was my first, the first person with whom I made love to with emotions.

“No, no and no. And you know that.”

“Exactly. This is why we do not count those before us.” He said.

“Got it.” I nodded with a smile.

Armie lifted his chin towards me and I met him halfway and kissed him.

“I am so tired, ugh…Can we just sleep here?” I exhaled and made myself comfortable on top of him.

“Gladly, but no.”

I pouted looking at him.

“I am so tired and…” I complained.

“I know, I know. Why don’t you head over in the back and sleep while I drive us back home, okay?” He suggested and smiled. That was actually a good idea.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

I had a big walk to make between his seat and the back. And the first time I stood up, sort of, my thighs began cramping, I grunted at that. I was feeling one layer less hot now that I was off of him. As I was walking away from him, I decided to tease him.

“Was I too heavy for you?” I turned around and asked him.

“Go.”

He rolled his eyes and smacked my ass. I yelped and laughed.

As soon as I arrived on the back seat, I lied down over the pile of our clothes. The best thing about tinted windows was that I could drive around naked and no one would notice me. Armie grabbed his sweater from the seat next to him and put it on. Then I saw him jump in his seat when he was pulling his pants back on.

I turned on my side and watched him, eying his reflection in the mirror. When he saw me watching him, he smiled and winked at me.

“We ruined the car.” I said, still looking him in the mirror.

“Don’t worry about it. I was planning on washing them anyway.”

He turned around to look at me. I was still fully nude.

“Dress up, you’ll freeze.” He said.

“I’m too tired.” I breathed out.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“I’ll ruin your sweater.” I whined. Which was the truth.

“Tim…” I know this tone, it was when someone was making me do something I didn’t want to.

“Alright, alright…Jeez…”

I grunted when I sat up and began dressing up myself, already losing the function of my eyes and arms.

I put my clothes back on and once I was dressed, I lied back down again. Armie pushed the seat back into its normal position, buckled up and started the car, and after that, I saw him taking out a rug and wiping the windows.

I put his jacket over me and closed my eyes, I fell asleep while Armie was going in reverse.

The next thing I remember was him shaking my legs, telling me that we’re home. I remember not wanting to move out of his car, but he dragged me out of it. I was sleepy the entire ride in the elevator and even when he undressed me and put me to bed. Whatever drugs his semen produced, it knocked me out good.

The last thing I remembered was him lying next to me and kissing my forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	59. Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie spend some time together early in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy babies! So, as it turns out, i rushed with good news yesterday. Today i found out that i actually need to continue my internship and i'm doing so, staring on Monday on a department for cardiology. Anyway, i was really pissed about that today but i will get it over with, especially because i will be working for free and i will be exposed to all dangers of the current situation. I will do my best to keep myself safe. We'll see...😂  
> Anyway, enough about me. Okay, this chapter is short, it has less than 3k words which is my goal every time i write a new chapter. It's a silly chapter because i am running out of ideas and i will have to cramp the next few days or weeks or even months in couple of chapters. Enjoy this chapter, i hope you'll like it and let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️  
> Please be safe and take care!🙏

I had a dream I was falling and that jerk me in my sleep. I was sleeping on my back when it happened. Now I’m awake, breathing fast and I need time to realize what happened. It was just a dream, I fall in my sleep constantly. But when it woke me up, it woke me up for good. I didn’t want to sleep anymore.

There was only his phone next to the bed and I turned it on to check the time. It was 6:29 am. And to think that 6 hours ago we were out there, in the middle of nowhere, having sex in his car.

I decided to get up. I had my boxers on and a shirt he probably put on me as he was getting me into bed hours ago.

Luckily, Armie never moved as I was getting up, I watched my every move. He’s so cute when he’s sleeping and dreaming. He looks so young, younger than 26, his skin looks so cleaned and is shining on his cheeks, is it sweat or just his natural glow…or even the after-sex glow.

I walked out of the room and closed the door. It was still dark outside, and as I was walking away from the door, Archie showed up in front of my feet, yawning. He’s also cute. The pup followed me everywhere.

I walked over and found my jacket, took my phone out and moved on to fiddling with the pockets inside his jacket that was next to mine on the chair in the living room. There were his keys, a piece of paper that had a dentist’s appointment written on it and his wallet. I opened the wallet, looking for something other than what the wallet is usually used for. When I opened it, I saw my polaroid picture inside. The one he took of me while I was eating spaghetti days ago when I was here and taking care of him. We were in bed, eating, and I was stuffing my face with one hand and scrolling through my phone with the other. I was just eating and eating, and when Armie called out my name I looked up and he snapped a picture and laughed at it. That was the first real laugh I extracted from him while he was being sick, without even trying. I can’t believe he keeps that one in his wallet. I looked ridiculous; one spaghetti was hanging from my mouth and I had sauce all over my chin and all around my lips. My forehead was frowned and my curls were tied in a half man bun, just so I don’t get my hair dirty from food.

I put the wallet back into his jacket and continued looking through his pockets, and when I found the cigarettes I’ve been looking for, I stopped.

It would be cold to open up a window, and I didn’t want to just sit down and smoke. So, I walked over to the kitchen and sat on the counter, light one up and inhaled the first smoke.

It all seemed so depressing. Waking up so early in the morning, smoking alone, wanting some time alone. And that time alone I found so…strange. Alone. When was the last time I was alone? I can’t remember, and I am not alone now. He’s sleeping in the other room. But at the moment, I was alone.

I took another inhale and tap the rest in the sink.

Someone would think that something was wrong with me, but that’s the deal. There is nothing wrong here, not with me, not with him, not with us. I found myself thinking how everything is so perfect; I’m in a serious relationship, school is going fine, my family is great…why was there a need for some time alone, smoking in the morning? Yes, it sounds depressing but it really isn’t. My mind is now empty, there is no need to wake up early and think about stuff.

I never thought I’d live to feel that way.

Armie is like me. Oh, so many times I would catch him lying awake next to me and staring at something, thinking, deep in his thoughts. He is a big thinker like me. And he thought I was asleep the entire time. And if I wasn’t looking at him being trapped inside his head, I can always tell when he’s awake behind me. I know how to tell his breathings apart. All that time, he was tortured about something and I think I have a big idea about what and why.

He’d feel guilty and ashamed. He had this side to his personality that he showed me when we walked into our room in the hotel. I understood it all too well. And once he opened up to me and we explored it together, he felt relieved, relieved because he finally found a right person with whom he could be himself, someone to show his real face to. And I took it, and I respected it. But afterwards, he’d feel guilty for…messing me up? For getting me involved into his dirty fantasy. Only because I look so sweet and pure…

My cigarette was half way burned out.

And the last few times, after sex, he would go straight to sleep and I wouldn’t hear him or catch him overthinking. Guess we’re finally getting somewhere.

I put the cigarette out.

I haven’t been home in such a long time. I’ve spent days and weeks at his place, worked myself into his life, we did everything together, waking up together, eating, showering, chilling…that’s not a bad thing. On the contrary, that is a really good thing, but why does it feel like we’re rushing? Why does it feel like the last three months were so cramped up and everything we did, we could’ve done them in a span of six months or even more, and we’d still be here where we are today.

Fuck, it’s only been three months. Three months.

We spent every single day together, well…except for those days when he was avoiding me and all that shit, and beyond that, if we weren’t seeing each other, we were always in contact. I already had this mental summery and this conversation before with myself, don’t know why am I having it again.

And quite frankly, I liked being free for even a while but I am happy that he is in the next room, so close, in case I get home sick. I liked the alone time I created as I was smoking that one cigarette. But I don’t want to be alone anymore.

Having a cigarette in the morning, on an empty stomach was not a good idea, it made me dizzy. But, what the hell, I light up another one.

And just as I inhaled a smoke and thought about how I don’t want to be alone anymore, I heard the door opening.

Armie walked out, rubbing his eyes, looking around the place for me. I’ll just wait for him to find me. When he looked left and then straight and then right, that’s when he opened his eyes even wider. All of the rooms were connected, and I could see him from where I was sitting. He yawned when he realized where I was and he headed over to me.

“Hey…” His voice was raspy, he yawned again.

“Good morning.” I whispered and took another inhale.

“What are you doing here?” Armie asked me as he was walking towards me, scratching his hair.

“Couldn’t sleep. I…dreamt I was falling.” I breathed out.

“Oh, I hate that shit.”

I smiled once he got into the kitchen, and he sat next to me on the counter.

Armie was wearing boxers and a shirt as well. We matched, our outfits matched.

Once he joined me, he placed a kiss on my shoulder. I offered him a cigarette.

“No, thanks…” He declined with a whisper.

I took another inhale.

“Where did you find them?” His voice was now direct, and I couldn’t look at him.

But I will tell him the truth, I want to tell him the truth. Only so that he knows I was looking for a pack of cigarettes and wasn’t snooping around for something I shouldn’t have found. I really hope he won’t be mad.

“Um…I was snooping around in your pockets, and I found them. A-a-and to be cleared, I was looking only for cigarettes. Nothing else.” I justified myself.

Armie chuckled silently.

“It’s okay. I don’t have anything to hide from you. Everything around here,” he said and pointed to his apartment, “Is all yours to snoop around. For as long as you want to.”

I nodded, smiled and then looked at him.

“And um…I snooped some more and…well, don’t be mad, but…I was curious whose pictures are you keeping in your wallet. And I found mine…with a messy face and all that. I forgot about that picture.” I put the cigarette off and looked at him.

“Honestly…I don’t have any other pictures of you to keep in there. Well…not any decent ones though.” He giggled and pushed my shoulder with his.

I giggled too. That’s when he jumped off and went to look for something. He took the wallet out of his jacket and then took the picture out. Armie then jumped onto the counter next to me.

Now we’re looking at it together.

“I look ridiculous.” I mumbled.

“Yeah, you do.” He chuckled with me. “And you look perfect. And comparing that one and the ones from the hotel room…two different people. But you managed to pull it out. Somehow, you’re so good at that. You’re both a messy little bratty kid who eats spaghetti with his entire face and isn’t even aware of it, and a perfect younger partner who doesn’t hesitate on letting me tie him up and put a blind fold on, and even other stuff…choking and whipping…” He breathed out.

I can’t believe how amazingly good he summed them up. Showing two different sides of one person. This is how he sees me. And the way I see him…he’s the same. He’s a protector and a dominator, in both the real life and in the bedroom. There are very few small differences, but all in all, he’s always gonna be the older one, the taller one, the stronger one, he’s always gonna be my protector.

And every protector needs a person to protect.

And I found mine.

And he found his.

“Is that how you see me?” I whispered, looking at him, feeling a slightly more in love at the moment.

“Yes, that’s how I see you, Tim.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek, gently.

I moved my lips to the side and met his lips halfway. First kiss in the morning. His puffy lips were just the type of softness I needed. After that, he kissed my forehead.

“Where are those pictures anyway?” I looked at him.

Armie inhaled deeply and looked at me under his eyelashes.

“They’re in a safe place.” He said.

Oh, they better be.

Armie jumped off of the counter again and moved between my legs. I watched his every move, he inhaled with such a dominant facial expression. But when he hugged me, I was overpowered with a heath wave once his body was pressed up against mine. Armie exhaled when our bodies got connected in this way.

“God, you smell so good…” His shivering voice made me let out a silent moan I had hoped he heard.

I closed my eyes and exhaled a deep breath I didn’t know I was even holding in. I attached my lips to his neck and his hands went underneath my shirt, and they went all the way around until he reached my back. I squeezed my eyes shut once his finger ran down one of the bruises on my waist. So glad he didn’t see my face of pain. Was it pain though? Or just over-sensation? Whatever it was, I let him touch me because he loves touching me.

“Armie?” I whispered his name.

We parted and he grabbed my face in his hands. Even his eyes were so…precious, in the morning. Why is he like this? Why is he so flawless in the morning? And why is he so perfect and mine?

“I’m tired.” I breathed out, speaking the truth. I really was tired.

“Wanna sleep some more?” He smiled and asked me.

I nodded my head.

Once Armie moved away from me, I pulled him by the shirt just to keep him where he already was.

“Take me to bed.” I protested.

“You got it, kid.”

Armie didn’t need to hold any part of my body, I latched onto him like a koala bear and all he had to do, was to walk with me hanging from him. He chuckled when I simply held onto him, so easily, so lightly, I am not heavy for him at all.

We reached the bedroom and he put me down on my back. I squirmed a bit because of my bruises. Oh, how I wished to be taken at that moment. It was the perfect setting; we were awake, we had minimal amount of clothing on our bodies, the Sun was coming up soon…but at the same time, I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to be taken. I wanted to sleep because I was tired and because I knew I was safe and sheltered, and because I knew we had all the time in the world to hump our brains out whenever we wanted to. And since last night, there was no telling which lines we were going to cross in the future just to fulfill both of us in any way possible.

“Hold up. I have to run to the bathroom.” Armie said and was already on his way out.

I heard him saying hi to Archie on his way to the bathroom.

Waiting and waiting and waiting…did he miss a room?

“I thought you drowned!” I laughed out when he showed up after some time.

He chuckled and closed the door. It was dawn already.

“Sorry, a lot of drinks last night, and plus, my young lover had this wild idea of isolating us and uh…uh it doesn’t matter.” He raised his eyebrows once he gently lied on top of me, his face was too close to my face. I could smell him. My wish about being taken has just increased.

“Young lover? Oh, do tell. What were you and this…young lover of yours doing last night, after so many drinks?” I teased him.

“Let’s just say…the car was moving while we were dancing inside.” He smirked.

My jaw dropped.

We moved the car…of course we moved the car…damn.

“Sounds like you two had a wild night.” I said and bit my lower lip.

“Oh, you bet kid. Probably the best night ever with my…young lover.”

I closed my eyes and grinned. Maybe I have blushed but what’s new in front of him.

“Lover…I like that word.” I whispered that.

“Lovers…” He corrected me and bent down to kiss me. Why are his lips so perfect this morning?

Please, let the world end this instant so that the last thing he said to me would be “Lovers”, and the last thing we did, we kissed.

“Lovers…” I breathed into the kiss.

After he got up from me, he lied down on the pillow, I straddled his stomach and we fell asleep like that. I latched onto his body like I did when he carried me from the kitchen to the bedroom. Armie covered us up and the last thing I remembered was him repeating the word we were referring to each other only minutes prior to our dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	60. Homesick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A summery of their following week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Three chapters in three days, i really am on fire and i have no idea where all of this motivation is coming from. Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️  
> Stay safe and take care!🙏

Armie started working on Monday, the 20th of January. It was the saddest day of my life. Or I was being too dramatic, maybe? On a Sunday afternoon, we had to separate for good, or…before a new beginning, so that he could go back home and start getting ready for his first day on the job in the new semester.

By that point, I stayed with him until Friday, I never went back home. I had everything I needed at his place. I had a bed I could sleep in, I had food and water to live on, I had my own tooth brush there and I wore his clothes.

When it was time to go back home on Friday, he gave me some of his clothes just so that I don’t have to go back in a pair of elegant pants and a backless bib. Yes, that was a bib, that’s what he told, and that it was a part of some sort of sex dungeon culture. We argued what it was and he won eventually, of course, and he showed me the entire web site of these things. And sure enough, the leathery backless bib was on it. He won, I lost, and that night, I was the one cooking dinner. That was the bet. Only because I called it an opened shirt with ribbons. It was my worst nightmare. I cooked up some raw eggs and burnt toast only because I couldn’t hear the timer and didn’t check the temperature. Armie was in the bedroom the entire time I was in the kitchen. And I made us breakfast for dinner.

“I have to tell you something. I can’t cook.” I eventually came cleaned.

Armie tried his best to act surprised, but I had to tell him the truth when I heard the burt toast crack between his teeth, and saw him play with the raw egg, it was so wobbly, I eventually lost my appetit.

He asked me to keep the bib and I gave in eventually. He had some valid reasons to keep it at his place; he’ll need it as a reminder of that amazing night, it’s better off at his place, and this way, I’d keep it away from Jules. And he was right. I wouldn’t want her to wear that after what we’ve done in it.

Armie dropped me off on Friday evening, and I cried into his arms when he did in the car, that was now washed and cleaned.

“I don’t want to go.” I whined, smashing my forehead against his.

“Tim, we’ll see each other tomorrow. I promise.”

I looked at him and saw that his face had softened. He wasn’t crying, he was being very brave like that.

“I know but…how am I gonna sleep tonight? Without you?” I muttered, wiping my eyes clean.

“Want me to call you tonight and we can ha-…”

“No. I want you. In person. Living and breathing next to me.” I don’t want his voice, I want him.

Armie closed his eyes, inhaled and exhaled deeply. He opened them again.

“Tim, don’t do this to me.” He breathed out.

“I’m being over dramatic, I know. But I got so used to you. Why the fuck does it hurt so bad?” I sobbed.

“Tim, don’t…” He was losing it. I didn’t recognize his voice anymore.

I grabbed his head in my hands and looked him deep into his eyes.

“Tomorrow. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

He nodded and then we kissed.

Tim, chill. It’s not like he’s going to a war.

I walked out of his car, didn’t even look back, it was too painful. Why was I so dramatic over this? What the actual fuck? I will see him tomorrow. We’re going to the movies.

It’s hard. I don’t want to go back home. Coming back to my place was like waking up from the most amazing dream ever. I spent five days with him. Five days at one place, with one person.

I was afraid how our lives would gonna turn when he starts woking and I start school.

On Saturday, he picked me up around 3 pm. We had lunch at a bistro where we went when my mom was in town. And after two hours there and two hours at café Mud, we went to the movies. The movies lasted close to 2 hours and we went back to my place. But before we went back to my place, we stopped by at his apartment so that he could check up on Archie; walk him and feed him. He brough only few things with him and drove us back to my apartment.

We had dinner there, all four of us. Jules and Victor went out at some night club around 11 pm and Armie and I were finally alone, again.

Oh, how great it felt having sex while we were alone back at my place. There is something about waiting for everyone to leave just so we could start getting naked.

Twenty minutes after they left, we were already going at it. Only because we couldn’t wait to start banging, we couldn’t have gotten them out of the apartment faster. Armie undressed me pretty fast and himself as well, he tied a shirt around my mouth because he left his ball gag back at his place, and he took me up against the wall in the living room. The wall was too rough on my back, that was still bruised up. Tears were just sliding down my cheeks, wetting she shirt in my mouth on their own and I couldn’t take that amount of pain so I pulled a fist and kicked the wall three times behind me. For the first time. And when I did, Armie stopped immediately, litterally immediately. He pulled out and let me down.

He untied she shirt from my mouth, looking at me breathless and scared.

“Fuck…” I muttered.

“Tim, what’s wrong?” Armie’s voice was shivering and he was wiping my tears away.

“The wall was…rough, ah…my, um…my back still hurts. I couldn’t take it. I’m sorry.” I breathed out.

“Oh, shit, Tim, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. How are you?” He was already all over me, hugging me and pressing his face against mine, touching my back, the bruises…

“It’s okay, just…let’s do it somewhere else.” I said just to reassure him that I really was fine.

When I looked down I realized that his cock was very close to being soft. And I needed to get him back to where he was before I stopped him up against the wall.

I walked him over to the chair and he sat down. I got down on my knees and sucked him off just to get him hard again. And soon, he was. And once he was at the hardness where I wanted him to be, I sat on his lap and rode him from that point on until I felt like I was going to pass out.

Armie regained his confidence back and I was feeling great.

But I kinda missed doing it against the wall, it was an unusual pose and we’ve never done it before.

He left on Sunday afternoon and once he was out the door, I balled up in my bed and began crying until I fell asleep.

When he was on his way back from work the next day, he called me. It was tiring, and strange and he completely got lazy over the holidays and free days. Lying around and doing nothing was something he really got used to, and going back among people and teaching and spending hours in a different buliding other than his own, it was a weird change of environment and he was exhausted at the end of the day.

He called me again after he arrived back at his place. We talked for a while and then he fell asleep while I was still talking on the other end.

It made me both happy and sad. Happy because he fell asleep while talking to me, didn’t want to hang up and just fell down exhausted, and sad because we won’t be seeing each other that often now that he’s wokring, and I start school in 7 days.

He had Wednesday off and he picked me up after he was done with work on Tuesday morning, at around 11 am. We had lunch and we came back to his place. I’ll be sleeping over that night.

We were doing nothing once we came back.

There was nothing different I did while I was alone and when I was with him. The big difference was that he was there with me and I wasn’t alone. We’d lie down in bed, scrolling through our phones, in silece. It’s the same thing I would be doing if I was back at my place. But I’ll still feel the differene. I hate being alone and silent, but I love being silent with him. I don’t mind it at all.

I’d find myself just snuggling into his neck and doing absolutely nothing. He would nuzzle against my forehead and kiss it, and just continued what he was doing before. I’d feel his warmth, his smell, his soft skin, and his sweat from sex we had that afternoon.

This was the safest place anywhere in the world. There is nothing I would do to make them last longer, I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else in bed at the moment, and I wouldn’t want to do anything else but snuggle with him as he’s catching up on what he had missed after two days of work.

“Armie?” I whispered his name with my eyes closed

“Hm?”

I opened my eyes. That’s when he turned his head towards me.

“I love you. You know that, right?” I whispered again. We were alone and I was whispring still.

“What’s with you?” He chuckled.

“Nothing.”

“There is something for sure. And you’re not telling me. Should I be worried?”

Oh, he’s being awfully careful.

“No. I’m just thinking…I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else now. And I’m thinking how…my mind is not so foggy or under the pressure, when I’m with you. And I’m thinking how…I feel so safe with you now.”

Armie’s eyes were on me the entire time, I was looking towards the window, I didn’t actually see anything but I loved looking at that one spot while pouring out my words.

“Get out of your head, kid.” He grinned.

I blinked a few times and Armie turned off his phone and he moved to his side to look at me. We were so soft together. Going from both wearing white shirts, lying underneath the fluffy covers, holding each other, while it was snowing outisde and it was hot on the inside.

“I love you too, Tim.” He said, his eyes intertwining with mine.

I slept so good that afternoon.

When I woke up hours later, Armie suggested a walk and I agreed. But he proposed something else. He wanted to play with me.

“So…a walk?” I teased him.

“Mhm…but how about we make it much more fun now?” A smile never left his face.

“Meaning…?”

“Meaning…I’d love to bring out the green diamond.”

Of course. I knew he’d suggest that.

“Let’s do it.” I said, feeling very excited.

Minutes later, he undressed me and placed me on all fours on the bed. We used up the rest of the lube we had left and in only couple of minutes, the butt plug with a green diamond that matched my eyes, was finally inside me. I thought I had come once it was inserted in my body. I missed feeling that thing inside me.

After we dressed up, In the evening, we went out for a walk with Archie. I felt the plug with every step I took and it tickled me but the feeling was awesome. And we walked for almost two hours. That’s two hours of torture, two hours of me walking funny and never stop blushing, and two hours of Armie’s smug on his face.

I hate that it ended, I hate that I knew all of this is going to end pretty soon. We’d get back home, he’ll be free tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, it will all end. He will come back to work and I’ll be alone.

“Stay here.” Armie said once I whined about hating that it will be over soon and how much I hate his work and my school.

“What?”

He were in the kitchen. Me sitting on the counter, feeling the plug deep inside, him handling the meat with a knife.

“Stay here. I won’t be long, I’ll be done by noon and then we’ll have the rest of the day to ourselves.” He looked at me once he moved to chopping off onion. I was afraid he’d cut his fingers off but he really knew his way around in the kitchen.

Eating anything prepared by him was perfection. Seriosuly. A real chef. Now I even have my own personal chef to brag about.

“Oh, okay…”

I grinned at the deal we made.

“You know what to do. Everything is off limits to you.”

He slid everything he chopped off the board into a pan.

“Besides…there’s still tomorrow to use.” He added.

He was right.

After dinner and after we were sure that everything sat back down, we went back to the bedroom and had a lot of fun for the next hour or so.

As soon as we got out of the shower, I realized I had a message, from my friend David. It’s his birthday on Friday and I was invited. That sort of message took me out of loop the same second. Who are these people? What is birthday? What is a party? And walking? And not being at Armie’s place anymore? What is all of this?

I was so sucked into this bubble Armie and I created, that not only did I let go and forgot all about my own place and my own family, but the outside world as well. Especially friends. I haven’t seen any of my friends since that party when I ran into Miles. I prayed to anyone who can read thoughts that he doesn’t show up there. Even if he does, I can defend myself.

I told Armie about the party when he showed up in the room.

“You should go.” Armie said, drying his hair with a towel.

“You think?”

“Of course. And I feel terrible enough already about keeping you away from your own social life.” He chuckled and looked guilty.

“You didn’t keep me away, it was my decision. And I don’t regret it what so ever.” I winked at him.

We spent the entire Wednesday indoors, doing everything we already did days ago and days to come.

The next day, I woke up alone, like it was expected. I did all the basic things around his place; Archie, breakfast, nothing. He came home around 1 pm. He said he wouldn’t be long and this was the longest he’s been out.

Armie drove me home that day around 5 pm.

We didn’t see each again that day. Even though I was totally broken, I took it bravely. Especially when I called him around midnight, woke him up and begged him for us to have phone sex. He protested that he’s tired and that he has to get up pretty early. I won eventually by promising him that the next day he can do whatever the fuck he wants with me. Armie gave in and I slept like a baby that night.

On Friday, I went out in the morning to buy a shirt for David as a present. I went to the party around 9 pm and it was great. Miles wasn’t there, there were only 10 of us and we had so much fun. I really did missed hanging out with them. We should do this more often.

Armie picked me up around 2 am and we went back to his place.

And the deal we made came to life. He was serious about what I said, and so was I.

Armie put a blind fold over my eyes, a ball gag in my mouth, he tied my wrists and ankles all in the same knot. I was literally tied up, blind and I couldn’t speak. But it was the most amazing feeling ever. I take back everything I said about any other time we had sex. This sex at 3 am just took the first place. In the end, my muscles ached, my wrists felt blocked, my hips were locked, my lips were cracket and I asked him not to turn on the light because the brightness bothers me.

On Saturday, I slept until 2 pm. And even then, I needed help getting up. This is what I get for keeping him up so late at night and begging him to have sex with me over the phone.

Saturday and Sunday practically melted into one another. He had to work something for his class over the weekend and I stayed where I was and felt good. Only because he was in the other room, working in silence, and I was in the living room, watching TV. The point was to be under the same roof, no matter on which end of the place we were, together or separate.

On Sunday afternoon, Armie dropped me off and stayed for lunch. After lunch, he went and met his brother, and on the way out I was being over dramatic again, but Armie calmed me down. I didn’t want to go to school. I wanted to stay home with him and do nothing.

When he hugged me in the hallway of my building, I didn’t want to let go. So he continued to hug me when after two minutes of not letting go, he finally got the message.

“Tim…I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” He whsiepred against my temple.

“I know.” I squeezed him tighter.

“Then it’s a deal.”

“Yup.” I breathed out.

“Are you going to let go now?”

“Nope.”

And neither did he. He got the message loud and clear. I could’ve fallen asleep in his arms. But eventually, I let go. When his car drove off, I let only one single tear down and that was it. I was fine. Prefectly fine.

And around 11 pm when I had just gotten out of the shower, Armie called me all turned on and requested that we have phone sex immediately.

“I just showered.” I said.

“I don’t care. We’re gonna be even.” I could hear him grinning at his brilliant plan.

“Under one condition.”

“Say it.” He breathed out.

“I do you in your bath tub the next time.”

“Deal.”

Can’t believe I was so close to saying no. So glad I didn’t because then I wouldn’t have slept so good that night. And in the morning, I woke up early before school to shower and then changed my mind. First day of the new semester and I went there smelling like pure sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	61. Warm waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie have a fun Wednesday afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! I hope the timing is right and i hope you all are having a great Saturday. Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️
> 
> I've been joking around that i still have less than 48 hours of my freedom before i start my internship on Monday, which is true, and i wanted to get this chapter out as soon as possible. I will observe the situation on Monday and see if i will be able to post regularly like i did until now. But I've been to the ER and ICU and those are the toughest places anywhere in every hospital in the world and yet i had enough time for everything, including this fic. I will do my best and start writing the next chapter later on or even tomorrow and post it as soon as i finish it. I'm thinking another 2 chapters, 3 at the most, before i start that big thing I've mentioned, and i'll need some consult about that here from you wonderful people.🤗
> 
> Anyway, enjoy your reading today, i may have rushed it but it's the kind that makes me extra weak. Hope you're safe and taking care of yourself and your loved ones!🙏

It took me some time going back to reality and getting used to school. It feels like it’s been months and months since the last time I picked up a pencil or wrote my name on top of a paper, not to mention, homework, studying, being surrounded by so many people, constantly talking and hanging out…Everyone missed everyone, they were all telling stories about what they did in the last month for how long we’ve been free. It was a big change but I had something else and someone else on my mind the entire time. Yes, I missed them all and we should hang out but, maybe soon, but not today. And I think it was about time they meet my man.

Armie met me in the middle of an exam week, he hasn’t been here long enough to balance his life with my school schedule.

In the first week, the longest I have ever stayed in school was 3 pm, that was on Wednesday. And I told him I should be done by 1 pm and that’s when he arrived after work and was waiting for me the whole time. I kept telling him 5 more minites, 5 more minutes, I hate this new professor, I hate her, she’s old and grumpy and the only thing she’s good at is teaching. Fuck my life.

I couldn’t apologize enough when I showed up in his car.

“I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry.” I spoke quickly as I was entering his car and putting my seat belt on.

“It’s okay, Tim…” He giggled.

“No. I should’ve told you to go home and…I should’ve known when she’ll be over for real, I’m sorry, she just kept going on and on and on…”

“No, it’s okay, relax. I even took a short nap while I was waiting for you.” He smiled.

“Really?” Now I smiled too.

“Mhm…”

I breathed out. I was running to his car just to not let him wait any longer, and I was finally cooling down.

Armie took my hand in his and pulled me closer to him.

He looked so handsome that day. He was wearing sunglasses and hasn’t shaved for a while and I really loved his beard, it was bushy and soft, and beside the fact that he was scratching my sensitive skin from time to time, I loved it.

“Come on, give me a kiss. To make up for letting me wait for so long.” He muttered when we were close.

Oh how I latched onto his lips. It made my knees buckle even though I was sitting down. A warm wave spread in my stomach when I felt his lips on mine. I love every single time we kiss, it all feels so new and unknown to me.

“You know what?” I spoke after we parted our lips.

“Mm?” He hummed and brushed his nose against mine.

No one in the world knew how to calm me down like him. The isolation inside his car, only him and me. I was in such a rush two minutes ago and now I can feel everything on the inside slowing down, thanks to his lips. The effect he had on me…it was dangerous.

“I’m free on Friday.” I added.

“Awesome.”

We both smiled and then Armie started the car and we were off.

A slight change of evironment, from being in a crowded place for hours, to his car where I’ve been in less than five minutes and I was already feeling better.

I nuzzled into the car seat and closed my eyes for a second, I might as well fall asleep and let him drive me home. Or, he could drive me around for half an hour while I sleep…again. He told me that after we had sex in his car and I fell asleep instantly, Armie didn’t drive us straight home, he instead drove us around for half an hour because he didn’t want to wake me up so soon. And I didn’t feel a single thing.

Now he’s driving and my mind is back at that moment again. God, we were so drunk and out of our minds turned on.

“But Tim…”

I opened my eyes when he called me.

“Um…they’re gonna know for sure tomorrow, but it’s most likely that i’m gonna start work a little later on Friday. Maybe from noon or 1 pm.” He said.

I hate this.

“Fuck…” I muttered to myself, feeling already sad, two days earlier.

“Hey, hey, hey…relax.” He said and put his hand on my knee. “You can sleep over tomorrow and we’ll have some time on Friday morning.”

Armie turned to look at me and we smiled at each other.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

I put my hand over his as we were driving off.

“Lunch or straight home?” He asked after some time.

That question can be disected quite well. There was a hidden meaning behind one of them.

“What does “straight home” mean?” I asked, looking at him. Armie moved his eyes and looked at me with his perripheral vision but his eyes were on the road the entire time afterwards.

“What do you want it to mean?” He was being very cool and calm when he asked me.

I turned my head and watched the road in front of us.

“I still didn’t get my end of the deal.” I said.

On a stop sign, I turned to look at him.

“I think it’s time, don’t you?” I added.

Now he turned to look at me, only few minutes away from his place.

“Let’s just hope there’s hot water.” He added.

My end of the deal was to do him in a bath tub. And when we met on Monday, we rushed to his place, getting really hard on our way up, undressed at the door and went straight into the bathroom. Unfortunatelly, there wasn’t any hot water because of the water pressure in the entire building and they were taking care of that situation even before we got back to his place. It was a huge dissapointment but we had counted on it to be perfect in a near future.

In the end, I didn’t want to top him because it wasn’t what I was asking for. There was no water around us and we weren’t in a tub. So we just went straigh vanilla. No toys, no ropes, nothing to help us reach our ending points. I lied on my back, that was now imporving, less painful and I began mssing the bruises, and he was on top of me. Armie fucked me so well and slowly, I began sweating like crazy somewhere in the middle of it all. I’m always so warm around him and the last few times, I am freezing cold when I orgasm, but that passes away pretty quickly.

Once we reached his place, Armie went to the bathroom to check on the water.

“We’re good!” I heard his enthusiastic voice all the way to his bedroom where I was undressing myself, leaving only a pair of boxers on, stretching out a bit because I’ve been sitting for the past 7 hours or so. Archie was on the bed, following me with his adorable eyes.

When I went inside the bathroom, Armie had his back turned to the door as he was leaning over the tub, checking the temperature. This is going to be the first time I go inisde him underneath the water. The first time I get to do something underneath the water other than to just sit around and do nothing…or bottom.

“Just a little bit longer.” He said when I walked in and closed the door behind me.

I nodded to myself and he turned around to look at me.

Why am I being so shy next to him? Why do I feel the need to act all innocent when I’m not? Not at all. I am young and I am younger than him but even above all that, I am, like Armie says, mature and sort of like an old soul trapped inside a 19 year old boy’s body. But I am not a boy. I can classify myself as a man. And look where this man is now.

Few more minutes passed and Armie turned off the faucet. The bath tub was full and ready to be used properly.

He then grabbed his phone from the sink and put on, of course, “Wandering romance” on repeat.

It was a beautiful afternoon, we were done for the day with our work and school, and now we’re gonna take a bath together, and do something else.

I put my fingers on my hips to start removing my boxers when Armie beat me to it and took them off for me, and then he undressed himself. He walked over to the tub and entered it, gasping while doing so because the water was warm and totally not what he had expected. I joined him shortly after he had settled down on the other side opposite of him.

The song is playing and I kept repeating the words in my head. We listened to it on New Year’s eve, and before that and even after that, but during that night…it had a special twist to it, no doubt.

The water was up to my chest and I was following his every move. He settled down nicely, breathing deeply and looking at me. Armie had a vicious look on his face. He looked even more intimidating now that he had a beard on. A real man. All hair and muscles. My man.

I mirrored his move when he pushed a hand between his legs and cupped his cock just to give it a little start up.

We’re staring at each other while we’re touching oursevles. Fuck, I can end it like this, him on the other side and my hand around my cock. I really do not need anything else.

We burst a small laugh while we’re just eying what we’re doing.

“I like the beard.” I said with a grin.

Armie hummed and touched the beard with his other hand.

“Now that you’ve seen it…”

“Don’t you dare.” I interrupted him.

I will not let him shave it off. He hasn’t looked more handsome in a very long time. There’s something about a thick beard and his messy hair, combined with his blue eyes and lucious lips, adding his voice and smile to a mix and...what do you get? A young to-the-bone horny boy called Timothée.

“Whatever you say.” He gave in with a smile.

I closed my eyes and laid back my head at the edge of the tub. Armie’s eyes were opened and he was lookig at me, I know that by now. I know when he’s staring at me, I can tell.

It felt heavenly; hot water, him, him touching himself, me touching myself, his eyes on me.

“This feels nice.” I breathed out.

“Yeah…” His voice was low as well.

I pulled my head back and opened my eyes.

“Wanna feel ever better?” I spoke and tried staying serious but I couldn’t.

“Come over here, kid.”

I swam towards him and when I settled between his legs, that’s when fear overpowered me. It’s been a while since I’ve been inside him and that always freaks me out, always. Not pain as much as will he be able to take it and will he be able to resist the amount of unpleasant feelings I’m about to put him through.

I was on my knees between his legs. Armie was still touching himself and with the other hand, he reached out and began touching my face. I nuzzled into his touch. Then his hand moved south, touching my chest, lower, touching my stomach, until he pulled the other hand from underneath the water and pulled me closer by grasping onto my hip.

We were really close now. His body was practically sitting on my thighs, for a better entrance.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so badly and eventually I did it. He pulled me even closer, and he pushed into my body so that his massive cock was already touching my stomach.

When he reached down between us, while still kissing me, and he pulled my cock towards him, I stopped the kiss.

“Hold up, I need to pre-…” I muttered once I looked down and realized that he was in sort of a rush.

“No need. It’s okay. Go right ahead.”

When he said this I burst out laughing. Yes, as much as I was nervous and afraid, he lightened up the mood way too fast and I couldn’t have been more grateful for him. I laughed nervously but it was funny.

“What?” He laughed out, not realizing what he said.

I was still very much grinning after I finished laughing.

“Nothing. It’s just…you said it like…like you were letting me into a fucking house, go right ahead, the host will be with you shortly.” I laughed out. Even though it wasn’t that funny or funny at all, but in the middle of start of sex, he made me laugh so much.

“Oh…” He laughed for a while and then stopped.

Armie realized what he had asked for, and it is scary, even after so many months, it is scary, for the both of us.

“Are you sure?” I looked at him and touched his cheek.

He only managed to nod.

“Okay…” I said.

What else could I’ve said and not ruin the mood?

As a big guy, Armie had enough space to lean back and push his body up against mine and that made it easier for me to just go in. I understood why he wanted to break the wall. It’s time. It’s time to stop with the long lasting and exhausting preparation and just go straight ahead. We stopped it with me, now it’s his turn. And the warm water makes it all better.

I looked down between us. Armie held one knee against his chest and was back at touching himself with the other hand. I couldn’t see much but when I reached down between his legs, I had to go in blind. First with my thumb, just to feel the area. Once I reached his hole, he let out a moan, like he’s been holding it for a while without even noticing it. When I looked up, his eyes were closed, lips parted and he was letting out short breaths. I pushed the thumb inside, straight ahead, he squirmed and bit his lip. He was still tight, which was good, but it wasn’t dangerously tight like he used to be. We should try the plug on him next time. I pulled it out and pushed inside again, the same reaction, and I do it four more times and then I pull my thumb out for good. Somwhere along the way, Armie stopped squirming but kept his eyes closed. He couldn’t have been in that much pain, he’d tell me.

I pushed a hand between us, cupped my cock and guided myself inside him, slowly. Armie swallowed heavily, kept his eyes closed and squeezed them shut, a little bit tighter than I wanted them to be.

Fuck, he was still so tight, and it felt like there was no room to move. Maybe it was because there was literally no room to move. Taking him while he was on his back made it harder for me to do anything. We must try something else.

“Armie…I don’t…I don’t have space like this. Could you…um…” I stuttered as I was pulling out of him, feeling my stomach contracting.

He exhaled deeply and put his knee down.

“Turn around?” He finished for me.

“Yeah…”

“Of course.”

I moved back a little just to give him some room to change his pose. A big wave moved me when he repositioned on his knees, grasping onto the tub.

Now his back was turned to me and it felt like he was using up most of the space, but his ass was half in the water, half on the outiside. This should be fun.

First I ran my hands up and down his back, some sort of massage, whatever it was, it made Armie relax pretty fast, I heard him exhale so many times and actually felt his muscles relax and go limp as well. Which was good. He should be relaxed. But I can’t blame him if he’s nervous.

I grabbed my cock and stroked a few times, didn’t want to wait any longer, and pushed inside. It went a lot better than it did only few minutes earlier. He stiffed once I was fully inside, and by then, he wasn’t breathing and was grasping onto the tub even tighter.

“Relax, breathe…” I muttered and romaned his back with my hands.

He’s breathing and he is relaxed.

Now that we’re connected, that our bodies had hit the conjoined point, I wait a while for the both of us to adjust to this feeling. Even though it wasn’t a new feeling or a foreign one for us, he still needed to make his peace with the terms that there’s a cock inside his hole, and I needed to adjust to the tight hotness around myself.

“You okay?” I ask him, still not moving.

“Yeah. Perfect. You can go…don’t wait for me…” He breathed out, turning his head to the side to look at me as much as he could.

I don’t wait any longer and start moving. The feeling is out of this fucking world. He’s sucking me inside of him and I feel so good. Only he knows how to make me feel this good. I’m moving slowly, just a few first times and later on, when I established the rhythm, I speed up a bit and then relax totally when I felt him relaxing as well.

Armie’s moaning loudly from his throat, shaking as he’s stroking himself. I’m sad that I can’t see his face but I can always picture him what he looks like.

I hold his hips as I’m pulling out and pushing back inside. The water is just around the same height as the spot where our bodies were connected. I close my eyes and give in completely. My knees ache, I bet his does as well, I’m moving inside him, the place where I belong, he’s loving this, I am loving this as well. Any way, any place, any pose, this is the best sex in the world. Because it’s just pure sex and what makes it even more better is the water, me on top, and our mutual love and respect.

Let me die like this, this is the happiest I’ll ever be. The happiest since I’ve met him.

Armie’s now relaxed fully and is moaning out, echoing his voice throughout the bathroom. He’s taking it so well, I am really proud of him. It didn’t even take too much to loosen him up, he’s getting better at this. Of course, he’s no where near where I was with the preparation before anal sex, but he’ll get there. We’re talking months and months of constant pre-sex routine and in the last few times, all I needed was saliva to open up completely. Armie will get there soon.

“Tim…mmm…baby, it feels so good ah…” He was whispering and his moans were low but they were still there.

The music playing again for the hundreth time hit me pretty hard. I forgot about it.

I couldn’t see his face, only his back with ripped muscles staring right at me. And this weird feeling overcame me, thinking how fucking lucky I was for having a man like him in my bed, let alone life. And the best part of it all was that he was now bottoming for me. Which only proved how much he adores me and that there are no roles between us nor there are rules in our relationship.

That thought made me smile as I was moving inside him at a normal pace. I bent down, hugging his stomach and sped up the movements and made them shorter but harder. I kissed his skin as he was taking it all in. Armie was in heaven. There’s not a better feeling in the world other than letting your lover take you the way he knows you need it the best. That’s why I always trust him whenever we’re using toys; he knows exactly when to use it and which one.

“Oh, fuck, yes! Harder Tim! Harder!” I sensed a laugh mixed with a moan as he was encouraging me to continue what I was doing, only harder.

And harder I went. I want to give him what he wants, what he thinks he needs.

Eventually, I collaps on top of him and he sunk lower. I glued my chest to his back and grasp onto the tub as well, making it almost impossible to work normally, but I was feeling close and this would be the best way to end it.

Now I’m going in harder and grunting with every thrust. Armie’s weak body was losing function as he was bringing himself close. But when he told me that he was close, I didn’t even have the time to register before he started shivering underneath me and I needed a moment to connect the dots in my head that he was coming. That sort of sight just made me burry myself deeper inside him. Didn’t even give him the time to calm on his own or to relax after ejaculating into the water. I was back on my knees again and holding onto his hips, pushing inside him, wanting and needing to be deeper inside his perfect hole.

I was panting, out of breath and couldn’t really tell whether it was water or sweat on my body.

Armie was now weaker than ever, his knees were sliding underneath the water because he was tired, and I know that there wasn’t enough water for him to drown, either way, I pulled his hips towards me just to keep him sane. The good thing about him being weak and limp was that now I could’ve just as easily lift his body in my arms. The water helped. Everyone is lighter in water than on surface.

I pulled him violently towards me and began slamming inside him with loud grunts and even felt my skin frowning on my face. I clenched my teeth and brutally pulled his skin when I was dangerously close. Armie was now on all fours; hands and knees, taking it like a champ.

“Fuck, Armie…ah!” I threw my head back and pulled out immediately.

As I was stroking myself faster and faster, Armie turned around and pulled my hips towards him. Guess he’ll say where I get to come.

He didn’t need me to say it to him, he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, waiting for me to feed him. His eyes were looking up at me and his big dark blue circles were all I started at as I was covering his face with my semen. He was still holding onto my hips and keeping me in place when I almost squirmed away from him. Armie grinned at me when white stripes of my cum covered his chin and his luscious lips.

I shivered once everything was out and fell on my butt underneath the water when I was done.

My eyes were closed and I was running out of breath when I went back into my original pose; lying with my head leaned against the edge of the tub.

“Oh!” I breathed out loudly and covered my face with my arms, being way too dramatic about it.

Some time had passed and I could sense that he was breathing normally again. I kept my eyes closed the entire time I was lying and waiting for him to react to all of this. The song made another round.

“Tim…” He called for me and I opened my eyes to look at him.

He was mirroring my movements and he had a beautiful and big smile on his cum-covered face.

I smiled with him and that set us both off to laugh.

Armie reached out with his arms and I took his hand in mine. He managed to move me from where I was sitting, to lie against his chest with my back pressed to him. My bruises activated again and I squirmed a bit when I felt his chest hair irritating my skin.

“Thank you.” He whispered against my ear and kissed my temple.

That was a state of bliss I wouldn’t want to change for anything in this world. I was so tired, I didn’t even have the energy to tell him. But beyond that, I was so happy and sexually satisfied, after this, not a single thing could come to my mind because I was feeling so brainless. Thanks to this big guy that was keeping me warm surrounded by water that was getting cold.

The song played once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a Elio/Oliver one shot on my account, with the same title name as this one.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	62. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's Friday is a real roller-coaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Here the next chapter like i promised. Since today was my first day back at the hospital, and it went great, i realized I can balance work and my every day life and i will continue writing and posting like before. Enjoy this chapter, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments.❤️  
> Stay safe and please take care!🙏

We got out of the tub when I couldn’t stop shivering against his warm body. I was also fighting with my big head not falling asleep. It was a long day. I woke up at 7 am, I was in class from 8 am until 3 pm, and after that, another hour or even more, I was having sex. And not just any sex; in a tub, with me in the lead. My knees ached when I got up, and he complained about the same thing. He had to hold my limp body as we were showering again, we had to get the sweat and cum off of us. 

After that shower, we ate a bit, although, I was really tired and didn’t feel like chewing or swallowing. After that short lunch, we took a nap, and I woke up in the evening, alone in his bed. Armie was working on his laptop in his study room. He took me home some time before 11 pm and I went straight to bed.

The next day, I finished school before his work and I called him to see whether or not I should wait for him or go home. He said that he should be done in an hour or even two, and told me to not go home and go straight to his place. I had the key and everything I needed there. And so I did. I treated his place like my own and did everything there like I would do at my place. I treated Archie as my child and as my obligation to take care of him.

Armie came home after couple of hours. He was really exhausted. He did confirm that he’ll be working the next day from 1 pm. That would give us the entire afternoon and evening free on Thursday and morning free on Friday.

Thursday went by and on Friday, we woke up around 9 am and headed to the store to get some groceries.

The store wasn’t full but either way, we took a stroll around to get whatever we needed for a survival.

I waited for him on the water section as he was getting meat, that was the first thing he said we needed. And with that, chaos began.

I wasn’t even looking around or even noticed familiar faces, I was on my phone waiting for him. Scrolling up and down, texting my mom for a few minutes, and then continued looking all over the phone. Minding my own business.

“Tim?” I know this voice. I turned around and saw David, one of my friends, standing behind me.

It was still early in the morning and I smiled as much as I could. Maybe it was because I was tired and exhausted for being up until 3 am the night before, or it had something to do with getting my mind screwed by Armie until I felt like the dumbest person in the world.

“Hey…” I smiled at him, giving it my best.

“Hey dude! What are you doing here?” David chuckled as he was greeting me with how guys usually do.

“Oh just…”

But he interrupted me. What was I even planning on saying?

“You will not believe what happened yesterday!”

He was very enthusiastic about what he saw yesterday. I just stood there, listening to him. Looking over to my right, waiting for Armie to show up. And do what? 

“I was walking home from school and I saw Lee. Remember him? He was with Natalie right after you broke up with her. And you’ll never guess what I saw.”

Of course I knew Lee. She didn’t wait 10 days after me before she hooked up with him. Why is he important?

“What?” I frowned, not having a slightest idea what he was about to say.

“I saw him…making out with a guy!” He made it seem shocking but he was laughing about that and not quiet at all.

My eyes widened. Oh, I did not see that one coming. Natalie sure has a type. Guys who like guys.

“Can you believe it?” He grabbed my shoulder, still couldn’t believe what he saw the day before. Still very much surprised but I am guessing he was way too joyful because now, he had some dirt on him.

I looked over and didn’t see Armie. Good.

“What a fucking jerk. Can’t believe he’s fucking dudes now. Those people are just so gross to me. They’re all over the place, you can’t escape them now.”

Okay. This is just inappropriate. It killed my mood in a second. The guy I consider one of my good friends, is expressing his opinion out loud about the group of people that I now fall into.

“Really?” I wasn’t laughing. It wasn’t funny.

“Yeah. He didn’t even see me, he took the guy’s hand and they were off. And it’s not just him. And Eliott as well. I saw some dick pics on his phone when he gave it to me to call my sister because my phone was dead. And Marcus as well. All gays, all over the place. I swear to God, I wanna punch the next one that appears in front of me. What’s wrong with them? Fucking pussy is the best thing ever man. I don’t get why they love it up their ass, honestly.”

I frowned because I was disgusted by his comments. I was now fully awake, and quite frankly, terrified. Here, I haven’t even spoken two sentences and he’s already spreading shit he found out about the guys he’s been hanging out with for the past four years. Wonder why they kept it a secret. Probably the same reason why I kept Armie as a secret. To prevent this scenario.

He was enjoying this so much, and he was grossed out. And that’s what grossed me out. I can’t believe he’s even thinking this way.

How to react? What to say?

“Um….” I opened my mouth in total shock just to say something shockingly, when I was stopped, dead in my tracks.

Armie appeared next to me.

“Hey.” I breathed out, already panicking, my mind is now racing.

“Hi.” Armie looked at David and smiled at him.

They were waiting for me to introduce them. But I don’t know if they waited for 5 seconds or 5 minutes because my mind was all over the place. Sheer panic overcame me. If I run away, then they’ll meet and find out about each other. If I say he’s my partner, money on the table, he’s gonna think it’s a working partner. And if I say boyfriend, David will run. But if I say something else…will Armie stay?

“Armie, this is David. David, this is…” My voice was shaking. The entire future of mine was depending on these words I’m about to say.

It didn’t feel like choosing. It didn’t feel like I’m embarrassed that I’m also into guys, but after his comments, no way in fucking hell would I let him take me down as well.

“…my cousin…Armie. He’s staying with us.” I forced a smile and I could feel Armie’s eyes on me as he was shaking David’s hand.

I looked down and felt like my chest were in tremendous pain. What have I done? And why can’t I breathe?

They said their usual, nice to meet you, you too, and so and so, and I was just mentally getting ready for the break up of the life time. And why wouldn’t he break up with me? Why would he stay with me after this? I introduced him as my cousin to one of my friends because…because of what he said about his other three friends right before he met Armie. I really hope he’ll understand and not…kick me out. Oh my God, what have I done?

“Oh, okay. So, I just wanted to tell you what I saw. See you on Monday Timmy boy.” He said with a smile as he was walking away.

“Yeah, see ya…” I forced another smile and looked up.

“Nice to meet you.” He threw it as he was walking away. At Armie.

“You too…” Armie was very sincere. And why shouldn’t he be?

Okay, here it goes. Is he gonna scream at me in public?

But he did nothing. He just walked pass by me and went to the cash registry. Luckily, there were no people around us. He was mad, I could tell. I don’t ever remember seeing him like this but his lips were squeezed shut which meant that he was grinding his teeth behind it. I can’t believe I pissed him off. He didn’t deserve it. He is wonderful. I love him, he is my everything. And I did a very bad thing.

He won’t even look at me.

“Armie?” My voice was low because I was afraid of his reaction.

“Hm?” Still not looking at me.

“Are you mad at me?” I bit my lip, preparing to cry. Fuck….

He payed the lady and we were off. I followed his every move. This was not how this day was suppose to go. We should use the morning, go to the store, buy stuff, and now the only thing he bought was some meat. And we needed a lot more than that. Oh, fuck, what have I done?

“Armie…talk to me…” I’m walking by his side, staring at him, he’s giving me nothing.

“I know you’re into some weird shit, Tim, but I didn’t know incest was…”

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t…” I was interrupted as we were heading towards his car across the street.

We got inside his car. He’s still not looking at me. I hate this.

“I’ll um…I’ll drop you off home now. I have to go to work.” He said.

Great. Now this. He doesn’t want me near him. We had it all planned out and I ruined it. Every little step is now fading away.

“It’s not even 11 am. You don’t have to be there before 1 pm.” I stated the obvious as he was staring the car.

“Yeah…I’ll go in sooner.”

“Armie, come on…” I touched his forearm but he shook me away.

“Don’t you dare.” He said, finally looking at me, but that was not a friendly look. He was mad.

I backed off.

“Will you please let me explain, It wasn’t…” I began talking but he interrupted me again.

“No. Shut up for a second.” He breathed out through his teeth.

“Armie, please.” My voice is still shaking.

“What?” He grunted.

“Listen to me. Please…”

I was so close to crying.

“I don’t want to. You made it really clear how you see me in pu-…”

Now I interrupted him.

“You don’t get it. Just listen to me for a second.”

He shook his head away. He will not listen to me.

“Armie?”

His eyes were on the road and he was no where near touching me. This is not how we ride. He always holds my knee or my hand. And to think everything we did in this car…

After 10 minutes, he stopped at my place. The car was still running, he’s not coming inside. I couldn’t believe he did this. Maybe he was overreacting or maybe he was just mad and doesn’t want me near him.

“Dude, come on. Don’t play these games, please.” I spoke in a shivering voice.

“I’ll call you.” He said.

“You’re mad at me.”

“I said I’d call. Does that sound like it’s coming from a person who is mad?”

I scoffed. Now I was mad. I wanted for him to listen to me and to hear out my explanation and he doesn’t even give me that. Yes, I don’t get the right to be mad here but I still was. Didn’t we say we will listen and not run away from our problems? What’s up with that?

“You are being childish.” I said.

“And you are taking up my time before work. Go.”

This one stung my heart. He doesn’t mean this, he’s just mad. Why would he even go there? I thought he loved having me around. I thought me taking up his time was something he would never change for anything in this world. I let one tear slide down my cheek. He’s not even looking at me. I can’t believe I hurt him this way.

Is this a break up?

“Armie…”

“Go.” He looked over at me. I saw that he was pissed off and I saw that he’s slowly starting to regret making this dramatic scene.

“Please…we said we won’t do this ever again. Please, listen to me.” I whispered, coming closer, hoping he’d touch me or kiss me and we can forget the whole thing.

“Look. I am sure you had your reasons why you did what you did, but I really am not in the mood to listen to you now, okay? I’ll call you.” He said.

I undid my belt and opened the door, rather violently. Fuck him.

“Okay, fine, play immature!” I said as I was getting out.

I turned around to look at him one last time.

“Bye!”

I slammed the door shut and he was off within the next 5 seconds. I didn’t even walk into my building and he was already on his way, disappearing from my block.

I slammed the door shut when I got inside, and then once again when I went into my room. I was so angry. And so sad. I lied down and started crying, uncontrollably. Screaming and grunting, drooling all over my pillow. It physically hurt. I can’t believe I did that. I am such a jerk. My heart aches. Yes, of course he has every right to feel betrayed and bad and like I doesn’t deserve him. But my God, everything was going so perfect since we woke up. Will that be the last time I’d wake up inside his arms? Will that be the last kiss we share? Will the previous night be the last time we would ever have sex? Just by thinking about this, I felt anxiety coming over me and I couldn’t breathe. Fuck, I need Armie!

I let everything out. I wish I had never said that. I wish that he had listened to me.

Did we break up?

Oh God, no, please…we can’t break up now or like this. We can’t! There is just way too much between us to just end in this way. We said no more avoiding, we said we’d always talk.

When I got up and took my shoes and my jacket off, I felt dizzy. Nothing from Armie. Not a single text or a missed call.

I fucked up.

I cried myself to sleep that morning. That wasn’t easy. I’d just see everything in front of me, everything we did since day one. I can vividly see Armie smiling in front of me, I can smell him, I remembered the touch of his skin underneath my fingers. How is this even possible?

Someone’s hand on my back awoke me. It was dark in the room and whoever it was, they turned the lamp on and before I could even think about being either my brother or Jules, my mind jumped straight to the only person I hurt this day. When I turned around, it wasn’t him. It was Jules.

“Hey, Tim…” She was whispering and I was grateful.

“Hm…” I hummed, rubbing my eyes.

“You okay?”

“What time is it?” I mumbled against my pillow, eyes swollen from crying and sleeping.

“Around 3.”

“Really?”

She nodded.

“What happened Tim? You told us you’re not coming home until Sunday. And you walked pass me today, slammed the door and cried until you couldn’t cry any longer. Something happened with Armie?” Bless her soul, she knows me so well.

I only nodded.

“Shit…did you…break up?” She was using her words carefully.

“I don’t know.” I said and shrugged my shoulders.

Jules lied down next to me, on top of the covers and brought my head closer to her neck. I forgot we ever did this. This is how she used to comfort me after Miles. But she hated him. And she adores Armie. Only because a not so very straight male is confusing her.

“Tell me what happened.” She said as she was caressing my hair.

“Well…okay…Armie didn’t have to go to work until noon. And we woke up early today and went to the store. I was waiting for him. And while I was waiting, David showed up. And then he began telling me about three of our friends who turned out to be…gay…and he saw them and all, and he began calling them names, saying how he wanted to punch the next one and all that, it was pretty disgusting. And when Armie showed up, I panicked and introduced him as my cousin. Now he’s mad and doesn’t want to do anything with me. He dropped me off and said he’d call but still nothing. I didn’t switch my phone off because I’ve been waiting for his call. Nothing.” I breathe out when I was done.

“Oh, Tim…he’s probably just hurt. He thinks you’re embarrassed you’re with him and in front of your friends and…”

“But I’m not. Those comments really hurt me. I didn’t want him to take me down as well. At least not in public.” I jumped to save myself.

“I understand that. I do. He just needs time to cool off. But…there is a way to make everything better.” She said.

“How?”

“Call David, meet up and confess everything. If you want him to know. If he really is a friend, he’d understand and stop with the comments. And who the hell does he think he is, spreading personal stuff about people…”

I never even thought about that.

“You think I should do that?” I looked at her.

“Yes. Go freshen up, eat something and then text him.”

And I did just that. Two hours later, I texted him:

_Can we meet up? It’s really important._

Still nothing from Armie. Not even a text. He’s probably back home now. I didn’t want to disturb him. If this is the way and the reason why we broke up…I don’t know. I wanted to make sense and say that it’s the dumbest reason ever, but…there is no escaping this. I hurt him, not on purpose. And I agree that he has the right to be mad at me but I also think that he’s gone too far. Ignoring me and openly being mad at me for what I did. Let’s just hope Jules’ advice will work.

At around 6 pm, I met with David in a near park. We’ll just do this quickly and be over with it. I don’t want to waste any more minutes dealing with him, I want Armie back.

I never thought I’d become that person who’d pick their boyfriend over their friends. I guess I’m one of them. But that’s not a bad thing. And Armie was my friend first, before he became my partner. I have everything with him.

David looked pretty relaxed for what I was about to tell him.

“So, Timmy boy. What was so important that couldn’t wait til Monday?” He giggled once we met and walked for a while and stopped.

I turned to look at him. I want him to know.

“Look, um…I’m gonna be completely honest here. I have been keeping something from you, and the other’s so…”

“What?”

“That guy you saw this morning…” I looked him in the eyes. I need this level of confidence with me at all times.

“Your cousin?” He smiled when he remembered Armie.

“Well…he’s…not actually my cousin…”

I inhaled and exhaled deeply. Here it goes.

“We’re dating. He’s my…boyfriend, my partner, whatever you wanna call it.” It’s out.

His eyes widened and his smile vanished.

“Seriously?” He asked me. He’s in total shock.

“Mhm…” I nodded.

“For how long? You were all over chicks months ago and…”

I interrupted his bullshit.

“Since November. And I wasn’t all over chicks months ago. I never was.”

He looked like he would rather be anywhere but here. Immediately, I noticed how uncomfortable he was around me. An instant change in one person’s viewing of the other, once they realize they’re not who they thought they were.

The level of confidence just kept bubbling up inside me. I wanted to bite back.

“And I had to lie and introduce him as something else after I heard…those comments about these three. Which, by the way, I knew they were into guys. I’ve seen them with other guys, and one of them even tried to hook up with me. I will not say who. It’s bad enough they don’t know that one of their best friends is talking about them in that way behind their backs.”

It was Eliott. I came by his place months and moths ago, to study, and he made a move. He looked like he had no clue what he’s doing but I gave in for a second and then moved him away from me. He apologized and we ended up talking about this. I told him about Miles, but that was it.

“And yes, I am…dating the tall guy you saw this morning. He’s older than me, he’s 26, he’s a professor at Colombia University.” I caught myself smiling when I was describing him.

He’s silent. He’s not walking away but he’s not happy being here.

“I could never tell that you…”

Bullshit.

“Oh, please. How could you not? Remember Miles?” I chuckled.

“Yeah?”

“Well…I was with him last year.”

“The fuck?” His eyes widened even more. He had no idea, no one knew.

“Yeah. He was just way too embarrassed to show it, and so it was extra private.” I looked away, feeling embarrassed myself because I kinda did this to Armie myself.

“So private, none of your friends knew about it?”

He can suck it. He has no right playing like this.

“And if I had told you, what would you have said? Would you support it? Like you support these three?”

David is silent and is looking at me. Probably asking himself who this person is.

“That’s the reason why I didn’t tell you. I don’t really care if you support it or not, just…lay off the comments, please.” I said.

He looked away and nodded, and when he looked back at me, it felt like a completely different person was standing in front of me.

“So you…fuck guys?” He blurted out. Why does he want to know these things?

This one pissed me off. I closed my eyes and squeezed my teeth, exhaling from my nose.

“I don’t…”

I don’t fuck guys…I…how to rephrase this otherwise? Eventually, I gave up.

“Yeah, I fuck guys.” Let’s go with that.

“And you…to them…do that…?”

I wanted to fulfill the gap for him; do you suck dick?

“Well, I didn’t with Miles, but I don’t count that, so... But with Armie…all the time.” I smirked at him. Oh yes. It felt good.

“All the time?” He frowned.

“All the time.” I smiled.

Silence.

“I’m gonna need time to process all of this.” He eventually spoke.

This was indeed a real shock. Another one of his friends turned out to be his worst nightmare, and I was the only one who was brave enough to go face to face with him, and shut him down, and his stupid comments.

“And, you know what? You’ll be going to college this year and I’ll probably go to a different college as well. So…there’s no need for…you know…hanging out.” He added and made it a lot easier for the both of us.

“You don’t want a gay person as your friends?” I asked him directly.

“No. I do not.” And he answered directly.

“You just lost four of your friends because you don’t support our lifestyle. And we didn’t cut you off, you cut us off.” I said.

This one hit him hard. He didn’t know how to come back from this.

“It’s okay. I don’t expect you to understand.” I added eventually, looking away.

“Understand what?”

“It’s not about sex or fucking guys or sucking dick, it’s…love. I really love him, even more than that. And he worships me. It’s incredible. He loves me so much that he can’t even admit how mad he was this morning when I introduced him as a cousin of mine. Now I need to go and straighten that up.” I smiled at the end, I don’t know why or to whom but I did.

I took one step back.

“I’ll see you around David.” I said as the wind took my hoodie off. I put it back.

He was already on his way, when I called for him again.

“Oh, and by the way. I would really appreciate it if you were to keep this to yourself. It’s not about me being embarrassed for being into guys, it’s just that…it’s none of your business to spread this.”

He just turned around and was gone.

I was proud of myself. I really don’t care if he cuts me off or if he spreads this. At the end of the day, people do not really care today who you’re screwing with. And he’s gonna be a real jerk if this goes bad for him; sharing personal and private findings.

I put my earphones on as I walked back home. He’s done, and now all I have to do is figure out what I’m going to do with Armie.

And when the night came and I was lying in bed, restless, I had a thought, or a couple…Why should I let him act this way? Why did I let him push me away? He tried pushing me away many times before and I never let him, so why now? Because I really did hurt him? Yes, but I think I made it all better after talking to David. Now all that is left is Armie. I’m gonna push inside his life worse than ever, he’s gonna have to kick me out on his own, literally.

I jumped out of the bed, put my jacket and my shoes on, in the middle of the night and went outside. I took a cab near the building and drove to his place.

I had no idea how will I do this now.

Oh my God. I’m an idiot. How do I do this? We’ve been silent and ignoring each other the entire day. He was pissed this morning and so was I, I called him immature and slammed the car door. He hasn’t called and I hadn’t called as well.

Oh just knock, it’s Armie, doubt he’ll just turn me down.

I knocked on his door and there was no answer. Knock again, nothing. Then I rang a door bell quickly. Archie’s barking on the other side of the door. I missed the pup. I’m knocking on his door, calling out for him. Oh God, what if something happened and that’s why he hadn’t called…don’t…don’t overthink it. Relax. And keep on knocking.

After some time, and after Archie’s constant barking, finally, the door opened.

“Armie!” I was out of breath and very, very happy when I saw him.

“Tim?”

His eyes weren’t fully opened, his hair was messy, he was asleep and I woke him up. This is the only way he’d talk to me.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? It’s 2 in the morning.” He’s whispering, still getting used to the idea of seeing me at his apartment.

“I know. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

He’s shaking his head, saying it’s okay, and it doesn’t matter.

“You never called.” I said after I calmed down.

“What’s this about Tim? I don’t call and you run over here?”

“Yes. Please. Hear me out. Let me in and we can talk, please.” I rushed to answer him.

He didn’t hesitate once bit, he just moved for me to go inside.

“Thank you.”

“You cold?” He asked me once i walked in.

“Yeah, I walked over here.”

A lie. It’s better like this. It was more dramatic. And poetic. And I wanted for him to feel guilty, in a way.

“You walked? Why didn’t you grab a cab or a…”

“I couldn’t. I was getting ready to sleep, and I couldn’t, and waiting for you to call and neither of those things happened. I just jumped, put my shoes and my jacket on and ran over here. See, I’m still in my pajamas.” I opened my jacket to show him.

“You’re one crazy kid.” He chuckled.

“Yeah…”

I had to agree with him.

Armie handed me the blanket he had on the couch and I shook my head no, I don’t need it. His place was warm enough.

“Listen, please, hear me out. I can explain everything.” I breathed out.

“Okay. Go ahead.” He said and sat at the edge of the couch, I was standing away from him. Didn’t feel like getting into his space in the middle of everything.

My God, he looked so good. He was still swollen from sleeping, he was wearing the white shirt I recently bled all over and grey pajama bottoms.

“Look, the reason why I introduced you as my…cousin…I-I-I fucking panicked, alright!?” I stuttered, looking away.

“You panicked…you panicked. How could you have panicked? It took a lot more time saying, my cousin, he’s staying with us, than, he’s my….whatever you think we are.” He bit back, I deserved this.

“My partner. Okay? I know, I fucked up. I fucked up good, I know that. I am sorry. I panicked.”

But before he could respond to my words, he cut me off.

“How would you feel if someone of mine were to walk by and I introduce you as my student?”

Awful. I’d be mad at him. But I’m guessing he’d say this if we were to run into his mother.

“Okay, I get your point. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. But…”

Armie just scoffed and stood up, already on his way back and away from me.

“Wait!” I yelled behind him.

Why was I being so emotional? He would walk away that easy.

Armie turned around to look at me. Now I can read his face. He’s regretting acting the way he did, I just know it.

“That’s not it. Before you showed up, he was telling me about 3 other guys that we’ve been friends with, well…I still am…and he didn’t know that those three friends were actually seeing other guys, they were all gay. I knew that, at least for one one of them. He did not. He began insulting them, one by one, saying how disgusted he was and how he would like to punch the nearest…gay guy, he didn’t actually say that but you get it, and how he doesn’t understand what’s wrong with having sex with girls, and that it is so wrong having it up your ass…all in all, it was bad and very disturbing. I didn’t even respond to him, I just continued to listen to him until you showed up.”

I took a break, I could see that Armie needed this explanation. And that we both overreacted.

“Remember when you asked me if my friends would support us? Well, not really. At least, not him. And I consider him a very good friend of mine. I panicked. I really did. I wanted to do anything just to protect you, and us.”

He remembers. That was left unsolved, until this morning.

“And…around 5 or 6 I think, I texted him and asked to meet him. And when we did I told him everything.” I breathed out, feeling rather proud that I did that and that now he knows I told someone of my…friends?

“What did you tell him?” He asked me, his facial expression already changing, softening.

“That I knew about those 3 guys. Told him about Miles. That you were not my cousin, that we’ve been dating for months. Everything.”

Armie nodded.

“And what did he say?” He asked me.

“Not much. He cringed a lot. Probably couldn’t believe that the hand he shook this morning, was the same hand that, apparently, loves touching and sucking dicks. He was disgusted, to say at least. He politely let me knew that there was no need for us to hang out anymore because we’ll be heading to different colleges soon and all that. Basically, he didn’t want friends who were gays. And I told him that he was the one who cut four of his friends off and not the other way around. He was the one who had a problem with us, not the other way around.”

Armie smiled. But it was more like a proud and satisfied smile.

“I asked him not to spread this. Not because I care, but because it’s none of his business. He just turned around and walked away. I don’t care what happens. I am just sorry I hurt you, I shouldn’t have. I panicked.”

I let everything out. Now I’m tired as well. There is nothing left to say. It’s up to him to decide if he still wants me in his life.

“Look, Tim. Uh…we’re getting really serious, you know that. I know it’s been only few months but it’s enough. I really can’t afford break ups or thinking even about losing you. We haven’t invested in anything together, other than just shared experiences. And I don’t want to lose that. I’m not rushing anywhere, even if others always think they know what’s best for me. I got a stable job, my own place, you, I’m having the best sex of my life, I’m always happy and I’m in love. That’s the definition of serious. And you’ve met a small portion of my family, and my friends and colleagues. I did as well, on your side. And one other thing you need to understand is that…it’s not gonna be easy for us. Wherever we go. Two guys together. People will stare and judge us. And this is where our rule of public interactions comes in. That doesn’t mean we need to lie to hide that.”

Okay, he’s good. I think.

“I get it, I understand you completely. And I agree. I really do.” I took a step closer, he’s not moving.

We’ve been apart from the moment I burst into his apartment in the middle of the night.

“And for what it’s worth…it felt good telling someone else other than my family. It was such an ice breaker and I loved it.” I said.

I think this is it. We’re fine.

“Okay, I’m glad we sorted this out. Partly, I don’t know. I’ll um…I’ll head out. Just wanted to let you know why I said what I said, and that I explained it to him afterwards.” I breathed out, already closing up my jacket and heading for the hallway.

“Don’t tell me you were seriously heading home now?” My back was turned to him when he asked me this, and I turned around to look at him and found him very close. He must’ve taken one step and he’s already near me.

“Yeah. Why?”

“You’re such an idiot.” He spoke silently, getting even closer.

Now he’s barely a few inches away from my body.

When he offered me his hand and I took it, a tone fell off my shoulders. Armie pulled me closer to him and he was smiling down at me. I looked away. I can breathe again. As long as he’s willing to touch me, I know we’re good.

“I thought you were mad.” I whispered as I was staring at his chest.

“I wasn’t mad, I was furious.”

I looked up and met his eyes. It felt like nothing ever happened.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered again.

“It’s okay, now.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“You’re not gonna continue ghosting me and avoiding my calls?”

We both chuckled.

“I won’t. Besides, it’s just a little fight, it’s not the end of the world. We’ve had them already and we’re gonna have plenty more.” He chuckled.

“Ugh…let’s just get it over with. I hate fighting with you.” I grunted and slammed my head against his chest.

Armie embraced me. And I hugged him back.

“Gladly.” He whispered.

“I’m sorry.” I repeated again, with my head still on his chest. He smelled delicious.

“I know you are. You can stop saying that. I forgive you.” He said and kissed my temple.

A touch, a hug and now a kiss…we’re good, definitely.

“You still love me?” I asked him.

Armie only scoffed and brought his hands and cupped my head.

“Just…so annoying. Go, undress, let’s sleep.”

I stopped him, pulling his hands towards me.

“Kiss me, please…I’ve been through hell today.” I joked and felt the sudden rush of exhaustion.

He did. He did even more than that. Armie pushed me up against the wall and kissed me so hard my kneels buckled. He unzipped my jacket and took it off, threw it somewhere behind us.

Now we were both standing in our pajamas.

I was so tired I didn’t even have the time to realize what just happened and how happy and lucky I was.

The whole thing blew over so quickly. And he was right. We will fight in the future, and every little fight does not mean we should break up. We’ve been through a lot together, and I’d be damned if I’d let a silly fight break us up like this. There is so much more between us than anyone will ever know, and we’re fighting this together.

His bed was warm when I lied down and let him embrace me from behind. And I noticed something he probably didn’t think I’ll notice; the pillow was wet. Either he was drooling in his sleep, or he was crying. Or both. His face was swollen when I came by, and now it all made sense. It broke my heart that he was crying after what happened. And wet spots looked fresh. But the thing that made me promise to never do something like this ever again, was the fact that those wet spots were on the pillow where I’d be sleeping whenever I’d be here. Never again. Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really know if i could write some insulting words about guys who were not straight. Maybe it would've been wrong, and insulting, so i took the other way around and erased any bad words and replaced them. I hope this is good and is not insulting anyone. If it is, i apologize. I grew up in a country where people use these insulting words in their everyday vocabulary and it passed the point where it's disgusting, now it's just something i'm used to and always stand up when this topic comes along and defend the community.  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	63. Pheromones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie gets called in for work on a Saturday morning, and Timmy is left alone in his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Sorry for posting this late and thank you for all your kind words and support and for not bailing on me or my fanfic! The first week back has been a pure catastrophe and this is only because the entire department for cardiology is a mess and people that work there don't like each other, everyone kept telling me to finish these last 2 weeks i have left and get the fuck out as fast as possible, one even told me : Marry well, don't work here, i'd run if i were you. They don't like this job, the people, the current situation etc They've been nothing but nice to me (well some have been unnecessary bitchy but what's new...) and i'm in this sort of semi ICU which is good, i loved the ICU.  
> Anyway...enough about this, i couldn't wait for the weekend to come so that i could rest and write this chapter. I hope it will be worth it, i've been thinking about it for weeks. Hope you'll like it, enjoy it, and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️  
> Stay safe and please take care!🙏

Somewhere in the middle of the night we changed our pose. We fell asleep with his arm wrapped around my waist and his body pushed so tightly against mine, that it wasn’t physically possible for two human beings to be any more closer. I felt every breath he took and exhaled, I felt his heart pumping very fast, until he relaxed and fell asleep, up against my back, we were so close, I could feel his blood rushing through his veins and arteries, I could feel his organs functioning on the inside, I could feel his energy as I lied there, completely covered by him. Our hips were glued together, his legs were intertwined with mine, and my hands were over his forearms, holding onto him just in case. I don’t ever remember sleeping with him this peacefully and close. We wanted to morph into one another, to melt, to become each other.

And to think what a day we left behind us, no one would even guess we were in a big fight for almost 24 hours. Maybe the lack of attention, affection and physical contact the day before, he tried to make it up to sleeping so close to me.

He was warm and calm, it never bothered me that he had an internal wish to sow me against his body. I slept so well, the fact that we fought and almost broke up, shocked me so much.

But we changed that pose, after couple of hours. Now I was the one holding onto him from behind. Breathing against his warm back and I threw my leg over his thigh.

And when his phone rang, I jumped out of my place, immediately opening my eyes and lying down on my back. Everything was vibrating around me and I was feeling dizzy. I had to remind myself that it was pretty late when I came by his place in the middle of the night, and the entire fight, plus making out took some time as well. It must’ve been early when his phone rang. And usually, whenever someone calls that early, it is not good news. But I didn’t even think about that.

I went back to sleep, turned to the side facing him, closing my eyes and stabilizing my breathing. Armie grunted next to me and I heard him fiddle around with his arms and phone, unable to get to it because he was tired as well.

The ringing stopped and he answered.

“Yeah?” He whispered.

My eyes were closed and I was still floating in between states but I could just tell the annoyance in his voice and how much he hated himself for either not turning off the ring tone the night before or for answering the phone. Whoever it is and whatever it is, he can just send them on their way and we can continue sleeping. I need his arms around me.

I didn’t feel like opening my eyes or even getting up. I was in a warm space, between his sheets that, for some reason, were intoxicated by him and I only noticed that after not being present in his bed for less than 24 hours. It was warm and comfortable.

“Armie?” A female voice. Melinda.

Either Armie put her on speaker or my morning hearing has just increased because I woke up so suddenly and everything was way too loud for me.

“Yeah…”

“Hi, sorry for waking you up.” She said and sounded sincere. I hope everything is okay.

“It’s fine.” He mumbled and I felt him adjust his pose in the bed, covering himself even more.

“Listen. They just called me. We need to come in. We’re all working on the group project today.” She said and I opened one of my eyes.

Armie was lying on his back, eyes closed, face swollen and his phone was on his chest and Melinda was on a speaker.

I watch him inhale and exhale deeply. I knew how he felt, I bet he was close to crying. Because, who would in their right mind want to leave a place like this, with a person like…me, I guess.

“Ugh. Fuck…are you fucking kidding me?” He grunted.

When he opened his eyes, I closed mine but I could still see him.

“Wish I was darling, they just woke me up as well. We need to be there in an hour.”

“Fuck. Okay, thanks for letting me know.” He said and yawned. He had to be there in an hour…that’s what got to him the most.

“Are you alone?” She asked with a whisper.

Armie turned his head towards me.

“No.” He said and smiled lightly.

“Is Tim there?”

I tried not to smile. Wonder what image got to her head when she asked this.

“Of course, who else?”

“Give him all my love.” I heard her breathe out. She hated working on a Saturday mornig as well.

“I will. He’s still asleep.” Armie whispered and raised his hand against my cheek and I nuzzled into it.

“See ya.” She said and Armie only hung up.

He continued to lie in the bed, probably cursing himself for signing up on a group project for the University. He didn’t know that work hours wouldn’t have any limits. And I felt bad for him; sleeping very little, he didn’t even have breakfast, it’s cold outside, he needs to be there in an hour. He’s stressed and tired, and I kept him up the previous night. Not just that, it was a chaotic day to begin with; a fight in the morning and reconciliation in the middle of the night…I didn’t really give him any peace or common sense. I feel like it’s my fault, partly, but I would love to make it up to him. I’m sure there is a way but I also am sure that Armie would rather brush off the entire situation.

I watch him as he’s struggling with himself and he’s been mentally preparing himself to get up for few minutes already. When he finally does that, he exits the room and goes straight to the bathroom. I can hear Archie’s paws following him.

I opened my eyes when he got back into the room. He sat on the bed to put his socks on and my back was turned to him, he had no idea I was awake the entire time. He must’ve felt me when I removed myself from him when his phone rang, and that felt like it was eons ago.

“I hate this…” I mumbled into the pillow.

He stopped dressing up and he turns around to look at me.

“Oh, you’re awake.” He breathed out.

“The phone freaked me out.” I said as I was lying on my back.

“Sorry…”

He leaned over me and connected our lips. His were way too soft to just head to work so early. They should stay here, at home, on my body, where they belong.

“No, it’s fine. I hate that you’re working today, out of all days of the week.” I said as I was adjusting my position, sitting up a bit, rubbing my eyes.

“Yeah, me too…”

He got up and put on his pants. And then the belt. I was hoping that was the same belt he used on me.

“I’m sure it won’t be long.” He added after putting on a shirt, not buttoning it.

“Doesn’t matter. They’re taking you out of bed, it’s not okay.”

“Well…what are you gonna do…I have to get up, get ready…” He was talking with his back turned to me in front of the closet. He took out a tie and began tying it around his neck. A tie before the shirt?

I interrupted him, waking up slowly but certainly.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you put on a tie before.” I said smiling his way and putting an elbow underneath my head.

Armie only smiled at me and I can see how tired he actually was, he was forcing a smile and his eye bags were so visible.

“You sleep for as long as you want.” He said, walking all over the room, gathering stuff.

He’s a mess. He didn’t button his shirt, but he did the tie and filled his bag with important stuff he needed for the project.

“Mhm…”

“And text me when you get up. In case I’m still at work, I can get us breakfast.”

“Okay…” I breathed out.

Then he disappeared somewhere. When he got back, I could clearly see how bad he was feeling about waking up so early and going to work. While he was gone, I checked the time, it was only 7:28 in the morning.

“You have some time?” I asked him once he came back, still swollen and still very handsome. Nothing can touch him, he’ll still look so good to me.

“I have to be there in…half an hour.” He said once he checked his own phone after finally buttoning the shirt.

Armie then moved to doing the sleeves on his shirt.

“Why?” He asked.

“Thought you’d want to fuck me before work.” I threw it at him just because, staying completely cool.

He was still doing the sleeves and looked at me with a smile. I wanted to make him feel at least a little bit better in the morning for going to work so early, and on a Saturday.

“To relieve all that tension…” I added.

Armie stopped and I thought this was my chance. I was mentally getting ready to get naked and feel him again. I saw his eyes travelling left and right, he was probably calculating the time; how much it would take to just do it quickly while he’d still be dressed, plus getting hard, plus the preparation, plus the sex itself, then coming to his senses, getting his breathing back to normal, refreshing up, dressing up, leaving, driving…and all that in 30 minutes. It was not impossible, we managed to do it in the past but he didn’t have anywhere else to go after we’d finish.

“No, ah…no…as tempting as that sounds…” He added and made a face. I only nodded with agreement.

I know he wants it, he’d never say no to a morning sex, but he was way too stressed about going in and he’d rather take time, some real time. I gave up on the idea in my head, although, that doesn’t mean we can’t do it once he comes back. That offer still stands.

“Besides. It’ll be better after we clear the schedule for today.” He said and put on his blazer and then his winter coat.

I nodded again. That’s true. Work in the morning, sex throughout the rest of the day.

“I’ll see you soon.” He whispered once he bent down and kissed me.

I grabbed his tie and pulled him towards me once we parted.

“Armie? Are we…okay?” I had to ask. Giving what happened the day before and how much drama I caused us both. Nothing seemed to have changed but I still needed to hear it from him.

He only smiled and kissed me again, slowly this time, gently, he didn’t hesitate to stay attached to my lips, even though he had to be somewhere else.

“We’re perfect.”

I could only smile at him and lied back down, switching the pillows in front of his eyes. If he’s not gonna be here, I might as well have something that smells like him so close to me.

I wished him good luck and he was gone.

But I couldn’t go back to sleep. I missed him. And that’s when I realized how dangerous it was me getting attached to him so easily, and suffering even more easy when he wasn’t around. I was homesick for this man who’s gonna be back in just a few hours. And having his pillow so close to me…didn’t help. The pillow where he slept, where his breath was, where he was drooling, at times, where his skin cells were, where it smelled like him, and where his pheromones were so fucking high and strong, they were making me lose my mind. I got up instead, before I start crying and being dramatic over nothing.

Archie was fed, but I took him out for a short walk, still in my pajamas. I only put my jacket on and my shoes. The walk took out 15 minutes of my time and when I checked my watch, it wasn’t even 8 am. It was 6 am where mom was and I called her anyway. She’s awake.

She answered immediately.

“Sorry for waking you up…” I said once she picked up.

“Oh, no baby, I wasn’t asleep. I was working the night shift.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I should be heading home soon, and I’m free until Tuesday.” I could hear her yawning.

“That’s amazing.” I was really happy for her, finally, few days off.

“You’re calling early. Is everything okay?” She said.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m out…with Archie.”

Silence. She’s probably waiting for me to continue.

“Armie got called in for work today. His co-worker called him and we both woke up. Now he’s away and I’m outside.” I pouted and exhaled a struggling breath.

She chuckled.

“He’s not away, Jesus, Tim. He’ll come back.”

“I know, I know.”

But it didn’t help. This type of bonding…it freaks me out. I can’t go few hours without him.

When we got back I went straight to bed. Being alone is exhausting. I took a couple of 15-20 minutes short naps and in total, I may have slept for an hour or so. It was 9:19 when I gave up on sleeping at all. With his pillow underneath my head, I simply couldn’t bring myself to sleep anymore. Why am I getting attached so easily? This is, in fact, extremely dangerous. I thought I was having a panic attack when time went on and he still hasn’t come back. I, eventually, buried my face into his pillow and felt relaxation kicking in. And not only that, but I felt something even more, even stronger. Was this my nostalgia playing with me? I miss him and now his smell is even stronger around me? Is that how it works? Whatever it was, it didn’t give me peace.

I took his pillow and put it across the bed and I lied on top of it, face down. The smell was calling for me. An idea popped into my head. Should I? In his bed? He’s not coming back any time soon. No, I can’t. I sat up instead and when I did, I saw his shirt, in which he had slept in the night before. I took it into my hands and kept it there, looking at it, I felt the warmth, I could feel his intoxicating smell burning through my palms like chemicals. I put it up against my nose and smelled it. I immediately felt the response down in my crotch.

It was like there was not any other smell in the world around me. Armie’s scent was overpowering and I couldn’t hesitate the moment of pure joy and hotness. I felt the warmth around me and removed the covers from the bed. Since I’m here, alone and have something of his, I might as well use this time wisely. The bed was empty, only two pillows and myself. I removed all my clothes, threw them all around the room, and once I was naked, I lied down and put his shirt over my face.

He smelled like pure sex and love.

I didn’t feel this need to do it because I miss him, I’m doing this because what I threw at him this morning, turned me on. Back then, it was just an offer, and now, once I could picture us for real, it was something else. I was alone at his place, in his big, warm and comfortable bed, among his scent and skin cells, his pheromones and his sweet taste. It was like he was here with me, with the absent of a lot of things, but things that keep me going, they were all here around me.

His shirt was still warm, sweaty a bit, and that’s what made me suffocate myself. I was lying naked and I felt the hot air around me, I was getting ready to die from his shirt on my face. But this was an amazing opportunity to explore this with myself in his bed. And once I finish, and once he gets back, I really hope he’d notice the difference in the air when he lies down.

I start with running my hands down my chest, across my nipples, taking my time there. I can’t breathe and his pheromones stuffed my nostrils so I was basically suffocating. I felt my face growing hotter and hotter. I ran my hands down to my stomach, open palms, spread fingers, going in circles, touching the skin with the tips of my fingers, which brought shivers up and down my spine, my legs and my neck. I moaned softly, imagining his fingers on my body, imagining his skin against my skin. I let my hands travel south until I cupped my cock. It was semi-hard but it was just the beginning. Just because I couldn’t see made it much easier for me to imagine his hand down there.

It felt like his shirt was a knife, it cut my brain from the rest of my body. The rest of my body was paralyzed; his pheromones were like toxic chemicals, separating me from the rest of the world. Only thing I could do was to imagine. Use my imagination.

The only thing I could picture was us this morning, and Armie knows exactly how much I love him in a suit, how much I love and get off on him just getting his cock out from the hole in his pants. And on the other end, I’m fully naked. Hundreds and thousands of time I had imagined getting naked and sitting on his lap while he’s working, focusing on two things at the same time. Him doing me in his office, in his chair, on his desk…while wearing his suit…

I’m stroking myself, imagining him from this morning, just that moment he took to think about my offer about fucking me before work. That made me twitch. I go from there.

Armie stops doing his sleeves and instead, he undoes them and loosens his tie a bit. The shirt stays untouched. He’s still fully dressed when he reaches out and removes the covers from me and pulls me closer to him by dragging my legs across the bed. I’m stroking faster and breathing heavily. I can’t take the shirt off my face, I’ll die. I moaned softly and arch my hips onto my own hand, which is now his hand on my cock. He takes my pajama bottoms and boxers off in one go and then he unzips his own pants and pulls out his cock from the hole and he enters me quickly. He doesn’t prepare me or even gives me time to get hard, but in my head, he’s already hard enough.

I’m stroking faster and I have no mercy on my own cock. I can feel the pressure between my hips, it all feels too real, it’s insane. I’m used to him between my legs and this just shows how good I can imagine him with me at all times, without him actually physically being there. I spread my legs across the bed, bent the knees and continue stroking myself. At one point, I took the shirt off but kept it on my chest. His pheromones were burning through my skin, capturing all my organs on the inside. My heart is racing, my lungs are vibrating, my skin is melting. Armie’s pounding inside of me, still fully dressed. Just a little quick sex before work, in his work clothes, just to relieve the tension. I love being his good boy, to make him feel better, so that he can go and work with his mind wiped clean.

Oh God, that image is fucking amazing. My eyes are closed, head thrown back, his shirt is still melting my skin like acid. I’m biting my lips, grunting as I’m imagining him between my legs in his work clothes.

Millions of other images are rushing through my head; him pounding inside me, dressed and naked, me sitting on his lap, holding onto his thighs as I’m bouncing on his big cock, his slamming inside me while I’m lying exhausted and lifeless flat on my stomach.

Oh how I wished he had taken me this morning. I would really loved to be there and help him relieve all that stress before working on a Saturday morning. I could clearly see him continuing to put the rest of his clothes back on while I’m lying on the bed, feeling as though my mind has been plugged off and I’m unable to move my limbs.

I forgot where I was and what time it was and for how long I’ve been doing this. I put his shirt up against my nose and continue stroking myself faster, feeling my legs tremble as he’s trying to go deeper inside me but the anatomy won’t let him. He’d bury his cock inside me and leave me like that if he could.

“Oh, fuck…Armie…” I moaned loudly and threw my head back while I’m back in his car and bouncing on his cock in my mind.

I open my eyes for a mere moment and inhale his scent again and that’s when I start to leak. I’m holding onto his shirt for dear life.

My body is contracting, I feel like I’m getting close.

And that’s when the smallest movement disturbed me. I opened my eyes, never breaking the contact between neither my hand and my cock, and my imagination and the false sense of reality…by the door, I saw Armie standing there, naked, touching himself.

This was not the time to question whether or not he was real. I reached out with my other arm across the bed as I’m asking him to come here and finish what I started. There was no time for feeling embarrassed that I got caught jerking off to images of him.There was no time to waste. He needs to do this now. I forgot about his shirt, the work, the fact that I’m in his bed, surrounded by his scent. Everything feels so foreign to me and unknown. What is all of this? I never crawled here in this area.

My eyes were only half opened and lips fully parted when I saw him rush over to the bed, get on top of it and kneel between my legs. He says nothing as he grabbed my cock away from my hand and I let both of my arms rest above my head. He’s jerking me and himself for a while. I’m simply enjoying this, feeling so electric and sensitive. My eyes are closed and I can’t stop grunting out his name.

Looks like I can wipe my mind clean on my own.

Armie lets go of my cock, spreads my legs as widely as possible and pushes inside me in one go, no warnings, no preparation.

“Oh God!” I grunted out and felt sweat covering my face.

“Fuck Tim!” He is real.

He pushed inside me and connected his skin to mine, his stomach on top of mine.

If there was a definition of “spread my legs as widely as possible”, this was it. I didn’t even know I could spread my legs this further apart or lift them up in the air this high. But I did. He held the back of my thighs with his hands, squeezing the skin, as he was pounding inside me brutally fast. So fast and so hard that I didn’t even feel him separate from my body; he was in there, pushing and pushing but not pulling out. And I felt like I was gonna fall off the bed any second now.

My dream came true. I have him inside me. He’s big and meaty, and so, so fucking hard. Once I opened my eyes I saw Armie looking down at where we were connected, grunting through his teeth, his face has already changed its color and he was sweating, a lot. It made me think about for how long has he been there and how long has he been watching me and only got inside to get inside me.

He has no mercy. I feel the burn, I feel it, it’s undeniable.

“Oh God! Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop! Fuck me Armie!” Incoherent noise is coming out of mouth, I recognize my voice but I am not so sure what I’m saying.

All I know is that I’m asking him to fuck me and he’s doing it.

I thought my thigh muscles are gonna rip from my skeleton from how hard he’s been pulling my legs apart. It burns so fucking much.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!” That’s all I’m grunting now.

I felt so numb.

I didn’t know what got over him or myself when I felt him stuff his shirt inside my mouth. I only opened my eyes to roll them back and arch into his cock breaching me on the inside.

Tasting his intoxicating chemical pheromones was all I needed to set me off and I came all over my stomach and chest without his hand anywhere near my cock.

“Jesus Tim! That’s so fucking sexy, fuck!” I hear him repeat this many times, but my head is still thrown back and my IQ is lowering with each passing second.

Armie slows down and is now only pulsing inside me. He removed the shirt from my mouth and I felt him vibrating deep inside me as he comes inside my burning hole.

“Oh God, I feel so full!” I screamed it out, feeling so weak and exhausted, too tired to bring my own arms to do anything on the surface.

There was not a part of me that wasn’t shivering or numb. I couldn’t tell apart those two electrical and majestic feelings inside and outside of my body.

I never felt anything like this with him.

Once he pulled out I felt his semen spill from my hole and onto the sheets.

Armie collapses besides me and we’re now just two sweating bodies, lying next to each other, trying to get back to reality. I was the one who needed to be absolutely sure this wasn’t all a part of my imagination. I really hope it’s not. I’ll know in a few minutes once I land down and stabilize my breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	64. Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy have a fun night out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! This is the fastest i could post. The second week has been true hell, i couldn't wait for it to end so i took a personal day off today and extended my weekend. I needed the well awaited rest and sleep. Anyway, i think you're gonna like today's chapter, or at least, the plot. I really enjoyed writing it. Enjoy today's chapter, hope you'll like it, and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️  
> Stay safe and take care!🙏

Once everything got back to the way it was, I was sure it wasn’t just my imagination, it was real, this really happened. He was really lying there next to me after our, well awaited, morning sex. Now that I’m breathing better and see clearly…my mind has flown somewhere else. When did he get here? How long was he watching me? What was he thinking about?

And Armie was the first one to speak.

“Wow…” He breathed out.

“Yeah…”

Wow indeed. Wonder what he thought when he peaked into his bedroom and expected to see me sleeping, he instead saw me masturbating to his shirt over my face. It all seemed too good to be true.

We were lying naked, covered in sweat, cum, saliva. Our bodies were close to one another and we were staring at the ceiling. This afterthought needed its own narrative.

I turned my head to look at him, he was still staring at nothing.

“Pinch me.” I said.

“What?” He exhaled, eyes still fixed ahead.

“Pinch me.”

Armie turned to look at me. And when he did, I almost lost it again. My God, he’s so fucking handsome. He makes me feel this way since the first time I’ve met him. I think it’s safe to say that he’s always gonna make me feel so silly whenever I look at him.

“Why?” He asked me, lips all sweaty and eyes sparkling.

“I need to make sure this really happened and I didn’t imagine it.”

He chuckled.

“You didn’t imagine it, it really happened, Tim.”

“Doesn’t matter. Pinch me.”

Armie grabbed my right arm, which was closer to him, took some skin and twisted it. It hurts like hell but I was still where I was with him, and not alone.

“Ouch!”

I gasped and rushed to rub the skin where he twisted.

“Satisfied?” He chuckled.

“Very much.”

I smiled at him, and I could feel his eyes on me. And not only that, but it felt like he wanted to either say something or ask me something.

Armie turned on his side and put his arm underneath his head as a support.

“So…who did you fantasize about?” He asked me, I could sense him smirking my way.

I only frowned when I turned to look at him.

“Come on, tell me. I won’t be mad. It was so hot watching you like this.” He breathed out, still smirking and staring at me.

“What do you mean who did I fantasize about?” Like he doesn’t know.

“You know what I mean.”

I looked away.

“I fantasized about you, you idiot.” My voice broke when I told the ultimate truth. I felt so small telling him this. I didn’t even have anyone else on my mind when it came to sex, either in real life or in my head. He owned me every step of the way. I couldn’t even begin to think about who else would I be fantasizing about.

Silence. I can’t look at him, he’ll see how much I’m blushing.

“Seriously?” He sounded indeed surprised.

“Of course. I don’t know what you were aiming at. I only fantasize about you. All the time.” I looked at him after speaking honestly.

Armie’s smile only grew wider. He reached out and was touching my neck with his fingers.

“You know how sexy that is? Even if we are dating, you still fantasize about me. You have the entire world to think about while you’re alone and you chose me. Out of everyone else.” He breathed out, sounding really surprised and proud at the same time.

“Well…yeah…you sound surprised.”

“I am.”

I only chuckled. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to even think about who I fantasize about. The answer is always gonna be about him.

“And who do you fantasize about when you’re alone?” Now it’s my turn.

“I don’t. I have you. I don’t need imaginary sex when I can have the real one.” He looked me in the eyes. I believe him.

Armie nuzzled his head against my neck, he was being very careful with it, too afraid to crush me.

See...we’ll always have each other, nobody else. We stayed silent for a while, thinking about what we said and more important, what we just did. My ass hurt and my thighs were burning. Sex gone incredibly good.

“How long was I out?” I asked him afterwards.

“I don’t know. I was out for about…maybe two hours.”

“Yeah, you came back early. Why?”

Armie got out from my neck. I missed the warmth.

“They rescheduled. Only 5 people showed up out of 13 who signed up for the project.”

“What happened to the others?”

“They switched their phones off and were asleep. No one expected to be called in on a Saturday morning.” He said.

Smart move indeed.

“When is the next meeting?” I asked him.

“Don’t know. But I am free until Tuesday. A minor apology for nothing.”

“Good.”

I smiled and he smiled back. He knows I love when he’s got days off.

“I got us breakfast.” He said, nuzzling closer to me.

“That’s nice, but I don’t think I can eat now.”

“You wanna sleep?”

“As long as you’re here, next to me.” I whispered.

“Of course. Let me just…”

He bent down and picked up the covers off the floor and covered us up. I nuzzled against him and he embraced me, I felt warm and cozy almost immediately, felt like I could breathe again. I exhaled, rubbing my nose against his neck, inhaling the post-sex pheromones. This is insane. He smelled and felt so good. His arm around my waist and his lips against my forehead…state of bliss indeed.

“You know…” His voice was so calming, I’d say yes to anything.

“Hm?”

“I was thinking…we could go out tonight. You know…where we didn’t manage to go on the New Year’s eve.”

A gay club? Really? I kinda brushed that idea out of my mind completely.

“You want to?” I looked up and asked him.

“I do. I mean…do you…we don’t have to if…” I could see that he was being very careful, didn’t want to sound like he’s pressuring me.

“No, no, no. I’d like that. We never got the chance anyway.” I smiled widely. I really did want to go.

We’d be going to the place where we can be ourselves among other people who are like us.

“So…it’s a deal? We’re going?” He asked and then yawned.

“Oh, yeah…”

I cuddled up even closer, like there was even a chance of getting this much close to a human being. But Armie is different. He’s my everything. There isn’t a safer place in the world other than his embrace.

“By the way…I texted your brother this morning. I told him you’re with me. He said he was asleep when you left last night.” Armie spoke against my forehead and I instantly opened my eyes and regretted not letting anyone else know where I was headed. Thank God he was thinking for me.

“Oh, shit…I totally forgot…” I muttered.

“It’s okay. He said that if you weren’t home he’d know where you went.”

I smiled at that and felt my eyes getting weaker and more tired.

The last image I had on my mind before I fell asleep nuzzled up against him was us dancing underneath the disco lights, together, pressed together, kissing and having fun, with other people around us, watching us and thinking how perfect we are together.

We left for the club around 11 pm. I was very excited and very nervous at the same time about it. We dressed up simple; I wore jeans, which I got from my place when we stopped earlier in the day, and his white shirt that was now falling down below my hips and my elbows. He wore black pants and a white shirt as well. I also gathered some stuff I needed for school the next week because by the looks of it, he’s not letting me go home any time soon. Very, very simple dressed for the first time. We planned on taking our jackets off in the car and just cross the road once we got into that neighborhood later on.

As we were still getting dressed and ready to enter this new world, I had a thought. And that thought simply couldn’t get out of my head. So, I confronted him.

“Armie?”

He was doing his belt and zipper on his pants.

“Mm?” He hummed once he looked up.

“I know this is all new to you, and is new to me too. And we’re going in this together and all, but, I have a little request.”

“Request?” He frowned and chuckled.

Okay, here we go. I know the outcome but still…

“Don’t make out with anyone else tonight. Or accept to…either sleep with them or…go somewhere else where that might lead you to it. I don’t know what’s happening in those places but I’ve seen and heard a lot of stuff and…well…”

His face turned from serious, bit by bit into the biggest and brightest smile I’ve ever seen. Tooth paste commercials would use him as their star. A real movie star.

“My God, I love you.” He breathed out, still smiling.

“Why?”

He tilted his head, confused, but still smiling.

“I mean…I love you too and all, but…why the smile and all that?” I added and felt myself smile because he was contagious.

“Because you’re actually worried about that. You’re the last person to worry about those kinds of things. Just to make it all easy for you now, I will not make out with anyone else, or sleep with anyone else, or accept anything from anyone else.” He said.

I nodded and went back to tying my shoes.

“Besides, I should be the one telling you that.” He added after a while.

“Me?” I frowned, looking at him.

“Fuck yeah.”

I’m still frowning and confused. Why would I need to follow the request.

“Have you seen yourself? I’m doing a very dangerous thing, taking you there, looking like that into that kind of place, among those people.” He said, sounding very confident and maybe just a little bit scared.

“I’m looking like…what? I’m wearing jeans and a shirt and…” I said as I was looking at myself.

“Not that. I don’t mean the clothes. I mean the way you look, the way you’re…you. You’re gonna be a true magnet tonight. No one, and I mean no one, will be able to resist you. They’re only gonna thank the God for either being gay, or thanking the God that finally someone like you showed up.”

Oh he’s funny. It flatters me a lot, but he knows I only have eyes for him.

And so I decided to fight back, to tease him a little.

“You’re the one to talk!? I’m bringing a daddy-dominator among them. Just you wait, you’ll be getting offers alright. Offers to top them on the spot. Trust me.” I chuckled.

“What, I don’t…”

“Yes you do. You sir, are gonna be the one they’re gonna have troubles saying no to. You’re like a Greek God sent to them.” Oh how I love teasing him, but I was actually speaking the wholesome truth. I’ve seen the way men and women look at him. They’re internally craving for him to devour them.

“You’re so full of shit.” He scoffed.

And then he continued dressing up. An idea popped in my head.

“Okay. Let’s make a bet.” I said, getting closer to him.

“What kind of a bet?”

“If you get the “daddy” compliment before I get…” I started, looking at him.

He’s thinking.

“Before someone offers to take you somewhere else…”

“Sure.” I nodded and imagined a lot of faces coming up to me and asking me to go somewhere else with them to be alone.

“Then you’ll fuck me up against the window when we get back here like you promised weeks ago.” I said. Now my level of confidence is through the roof.

Armie raised his eyebrows. I know he loves this.

“Oh…and if you make it before me?”

“You decide what you want to do with me.” I said, giving it to him whatever he wants.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

And I won even before we walked in, because the guy that was working in front of the club, who let us in, put a stamp on our hands and couldn’t keep his eyes off of Armie. His eyes were sparkling and he was looking at him like he was God. I’d say he’s a bit younger than Armie, couldn’t really tell, and he was licking the lillipop as he was stamping us. He payed zero attention to me because I knew I’d win the bet. If it wasn’t for him eating Armie with his eyes on the spot, I may not even have made it inside because I wasn’t 21 yet.

“Enjoy the club tonight, daddy…” The guy said and twisted the lollipop in his mouth.

“Thanks man.” Armie said, feeling kinda embarrassed as we were walking in.

I bit my tongue to hold the joy and excitement.

“Oh!” I was all over Armie as soon as we walked in and were headed down the hallway.

The bet was meaningless, but I was glad that I had won.

“I’ve never seen our bet succeeding this fast before.” I was jumping around him, cheery and very excited. And quite frankly, a lot turned on about having another guy call my boyfriend daddy even before we stepped into that world.

I took his hand in mine, never tasting this type of freedom before. He intertwined our fingers and we could hear the music blasting all around us.

The club wasn’t a big place, or it was but looked smaller because there were a lot of people there, a lot of chairs, tables, and a really big bar. I loved the music, it was loud, fun and joyful, something to dance to. Armie was really excited as well, he never wiped a smug off his face.

We went down by taking the few steps, I was holding his hand and guiding him in the front. It was dark, there were all sorts of lights around us, some were toned, others were fluorescent. It just gave off that kind of vibe where everything is gonna be okay and that I have all the permission in the world to enjoy this night, and that everything is justified. It’s his first time here, he’ll love it.

And the best part of the night were all the eyes pointed at us. But those weren’t the judging eyes we’re used to getting wherever we go hand in hand, no, this was way different, and much better. As we were walking by, every guy had to turn around to look at us, or me, or him, whatever, it flattered me either way. I could see lust and desire in their eyes, it was undeniable. Couldn’t even come to a conclusion what was hotter; them wanting me with themselves, them wanting Armie for themselves, them wanting to watch at us, or them wanting us both. Whatever the case, I had to admit to myself that I love this attention.

As we were walking by, tossing out smiles at everybody we had passed, the biggest surprise struck me, personally, that night. Someone jumped in front of us. I was in shock.

“Timmy, hi!” It was no other than my friend Lee.

They had a table in the corner where we had stumbled upon after the walk of lust. I had to act surprised, but he didn’t. Lee didn’t seem surprised at all that he saw me in a gay club, holding a guy’s hand.

“Hey!” My smile got wider when I saw him. I was surprised and not surprised at all that he was there. He and I hugged.

“You guys have a table!?” He asked, coming closer to me, trying to beat the loud music.

“No, we just got here!”

“Come, be with us here!” He said and nodded towards his table. He had a drink in his hands and was dressed a lot better than we were.

“You sure?” I asked him. That’s so nice. We didn’t even think about booking a table, I didn’t even think about a club having tables.

He only nodded and continued sipping his drink. Lee took us back to his table where a guy was already standing there, leaning against it.

“Timmy, this is my boyfriend Zack.” He said pointing at a guy across the table.

He was handsome. He had a buzzcut and I think brown eyes.

We all shook hands but I realized they couldn’t care less about all the usual terms of meeting a new person, they were just very excited about me introducing this hunk with me, and he could tear all three of us apart very easily.

“Now, this is my boyfriend…Armie.” I smirked and felt very special introducing Armie to one of my friends.

They all shook hands. I watched them and smiled widely at that.

“Armie…” Lee mouthed towards me. We were standing close to each other, that was the only way I managed to hear him.

I shrugged my shoulders and felt rather proud. I like this place already. They all accept us here.

“So…you wanna talk about it?” Lee raised his eyebrows at me.

“Right now? Here? I think this place and that man over there…says it all.”

We laughed at my reply.

“Point taken. But…did you know about me already?” He asked.

“No idea. I actually…wait, gimme a sec.” I couldn’t talk with the loud music blasting so close to us.

I came up at Armie to ask him something.

“We’re gonna go over there to talk, is that okay?”

“Absolutely. I’ll get us drinks. What do you want?” His hot breath against my ear and neck…too soon, Tim, to soon.

“You know what.” I said. And he only nodded with a smile.

Lee and I moved in the back where the music wasn’t as loud as it was where out table was.

“What happened?”

“I um…I ran into David, yesterday morning, in a store. And he told me that he saw you with a guy, and Marcus and Eliott, and that he was disgusted and all, and later on, I confessed being…one of those people that disgust him.” I rolled my eyes when I told him this.

Lee raised his eyebrows out of sheer shock.

“Ouch. What did he say?”

“He let me know that there was no need for us to be friends anymore because we still have only couple of months left by the end of semester.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“What a jerk.” He scoffed.

“I didn’t know about you, honestly, not a clue, but I am glad that we’re now…um…”

“Same.” He nodded his head.

“Yeah.”

I looked behind me and saw Zack and Armie talking.

“How long have you been with Zack?” I asked him with a smile.

“Oh, almost 5 months. He’s 2 years older than us. And you little boy, you and that man, wow…” He smirked and so vividly at me. I knew this was coming.

“Oh, thank you, it flatters me. Four months, and it’s getting pretty serious.”

We both smiled at each other. This felt right, having someone I knew for years who was just like me.

“Let’s go.” I said.

But Lee grabbed my elbow and stopped me.

“Tim…you may not know this, but this is the place where you can absolutely be yourself. There is no need to hide anymore like you did with Miles.”

I was surprised. I thought we were doing a good job in keeping it a secret. Apparently, not so good of a job after all. And the fact that he tells me this now and not back then, just proves to show what kind of a friend he is and that he too understands what it means keeping a relationship a secret.

“You know?” I muttered out, terrified. But why?

“I once read your texts by accident. And when I realized you weren’t paying attention, I continued to read them and got it all figured out.”

“That’s mean!” I raised my voice and punched him friendly in the shoulder.

“Well what do you know, I’m a nosy and curious guy.”

We laughed at that because it’s true.

“And don’t be surprised if you see a lot of people from school here.”

My jaw dropped and Lee tapped on it to put it back on my face. We walked out and got back to our table. Armie and Zack were talking, he seemed so relaxed, it made me really happy. Once I showed up next to him, and publicly, among other people, expressed my affection by hugging him from behind, I actually felt nothing but freedom and acceptance. I like this world, they accept me here. I stood next to him and he slid the glass with my drink.

“Thank you.” I mouthed. He only winked at me.

I drank a lot, and smoked a lot, it was Saturday night and it was a good day and we were in a happy place. I loved the attention from all over the place. I felt eyes on me, or on us, from every corner of the room. I knew what they were thinking, i knew what turned them on and it turned me on that there were so many guys and men staring at me, wanting me, lusting me, probably already removing my clothes in their heads, some might have gotten further than that. It was an exquisite feeling, knowing that I was so desirable, and at the same time, nothing turned me on like the fact that among all those men, I only wanted one person and one person only, and that person wanted me just as much.

Armie was very relaxed the entire night long, he was drinking a lot as well, talking and laughing, getting to know my friend. It was indeed a massive sigh of relief knowing that I wasn’t the only one from our classroom that was hiding something. And as the night was going by, I saw five more people in the club; out of those five, I knew two of them who were already dating. This just gets better and better.

The highlight was when we got on the dance floor. I was nervous for myself and embarrassed because he was trying to make me less nervous by spinning me around. But there was no way of escaping what was being done around us. People were grinding against each other, some even pulled me to dance with them and first I had to look over at Armie and see if he’s okay with it, he gave me a nod and continued doing his own thing, by dancing with two young, skinny and black haired dudes. Armie has a type, I am now absolutely positive. All those young guys are enjoying their time with their daddy, only for about two minutes.

Young and older, everyone wanted to take their time with me. One guy, who was 25, even got so closer and grabbed my ass and I had to put his hands away and move from him, saying that it was good to meet him and that he’s a great dancer. And I had to break a lot of hearts and leave them dancing alone because my boyfriend was waiting for me. Their responses shocked me, but in a good way.

“Ah no!”

“I really am late, aren’t I?”

“Let him wait a little while.”

“So? Call him, he can dance with us.”

Because the bet was done even before we walked in, I had to count the two offers I got, within less than five minutes. They didn’t even try to touch me anywhere where I didn’t want to be touched, or even tried to kiss me. No, this is straight up sex.

“Let’s go to the bathroom.”

And.

“I live across the street.”

Or even.

“You wanna see it?”

I felt like a piece of meat and I loved it. I was drunk and the music really had a strong beat but once I reached Armie’s arms and physically removed his dance partners away from him, I never felt safer or happier. Or more turned on. He was mine. He was taken. I was taken. Everyone needed to know this. And how easily I removed everyone away from both myself and him…oh, the wonderful, wonderful feeling.

I also had to notice what everyone was wearing because it did look like we missed a party for sure. Tank tops, elegant shirts, some even wore suits, webbed shirts, no shirts, no pants, just short shorts. And everyone looked and smelled so wonderful.

The crowd got bigger, everyone was pressing up around us and there was no room for space, and we indeed needed to get closer, to the point where my knee was between his legs and our bodies were pressed together. His huge arms embracing my back and pulling me closer to his sweaty neck. My drunken ass couldn’t handle the pressure or couldn’t handle not being in this position, I started acting like it was my first time grinding up against him, feeling him and smelling him. He looked down at me and began laughing immediately. He was drunk as well. I didn’t even have to ask for it or to look around to see if someone was watching us, Armie just kissed me, so freely, so hard, I could smell the alcohol in his mouth. However, I did hear couple of comments behind me, saying how lucky one of us was, and how they’re jealous of us. I smiled at that as we continued to make out by this point. Pressed up against each other, moving with the melody, my hands wrapped around his neck, one of his hands around my waist and the other holding my neck out front.

We parted and he pulled me by my shirt and slammed me against an empty wall behind us and started kissing and biting into my neck. My legs were shaking, I was dizzy, my lips were trembling, I felt the sweat sliding down my body, but he never stopped, he never fucking stopped.

When he was satisfied with how my left side of the neck looked, he moved to the other one. I was falling apart in a crowded space by his lips, and I didn’t care one bit, neither did the crowd. If anything, they were all envious of both of us, there was no competition, we both won, but I won first and I will get my window sex very soon.

I never felt more alive. Or hard in public. And he felt that and kept on doing it, making himself hard against my crotch. He’s an evil man.

“Armie…ah…Armie…” I moaned out loud, feeling the freedom of actually saying it, not giving a damn who hears me because there were others doing the same thing we were doing, and there were even other things people were doing in the bathroom in the back.

“I’m so hard, Armie, it hurts! Ah!” I moaned again as he was moving his lips from one side of my neck to the other, licking my jaw in the process, pressing up against me.

My neck is so bruised right now, I can feel it.

“Armie mmm…”

A tap on my shoulder and the coldness brought me back to life. It was Lee.

“We’re gonna head home, just so you know. The table is yours.” Lee said as he was putting on his jacket. Zack was already behind him.

“So soon?” I muttered, sweating like crazy.

“What are you talking about? It 3 am. They’re closing in an hour.” He laughed out.

“Oh, shit really…”

He laughed again and Armie looked way too intoxicated to figure out what was happening around him.

“I’ll see you guys. Call us so we can hang.”

“Deal.” I said.

Lee then came closer to me and pecked my lips. Then he moved to Armie, grabbed his face and sucked in his lips and he didn’t even hesitate.

We all chuckled afterwards.

“Bye!” Lee said as he was walking away and Zack waved at us and we waved back.

I took a good look at Armie. My God, I was so lucky. Look at this man, he is so good, so handsome, so intelligent, so sexy, so funny…and he chose me and chose to be here with me, and chose to have sex with a younger guy. He chose to love me.

Armie blinked a few times and looked down at me.

“I just kissed a third guy in my life!” He raised his voice.

This is what got him all excited. I love him.

“You’re an idiot!” I laughed out and pulled him down to kiss me again.

“Let’s go home.” He muttered against my lips and I nodded.

Yes, let’s go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Window sex is coming. And something else. *wink, wink*  
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	65. Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie made a promise to Timmy as soon as they get back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm still alive!! I am so sorry for posting so late, i've just finished writing this chapter and is purely, one of the sickest chapters ever. I wanted to include something else, but since i've been away for a very long time, i decided to just give you a chapter with nothing but sex. I really hope you'll like it, enjoy this chapter and as always let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️  
> Side note : i fucking finally finished my internship on Friday, this time for good. I am so happy and so proud of myself for making it to the end, especially during the pandemic. My final exam is in a month or so and then i'll be all set for work, finally.🤗  
> For those of you who are still in quarantine, please stay safe and take care! I've seen some terrible shit in the hospital regarding the virus.🙏

There was no point in arguing with him, he’s just as stubborn as me, but when our lives would’ve come in question, that’s when Armie wanted to play the most heroic. We argued just outside the club; I told him that the best thing to do was to get a cab and then he can come back for his car in the morning. I was afraid to let him drive when he was still very much drunk; we could get pulled over, or get into an accident. He kept insisting he’s fine and that he’s driven in a far much worse state. I told him that that’s not the point but he didn’t want to let go. So, we sat back in his car, and fair enough, we made it back to his place in one piece. He wasn’t driving fast or played with anything while he was drunk. I was drunk as well but I had to stay focused for the two of us.

And this rule, in my book, only seemed to apply on Armie, and not me. Whether it helped or not, I wasn’t any better, because once we got inside his car, I undid my seat-belt and pulled down his zipper and started warming him up. It was dangerous, we were toying with our lives; I toyed with his and he toyed with ours. That was the only thing I wanted to do as soon as we got out of the club. I forgot about the little argument we had once he sat next to me and I could see his face glistening from sweat, and he smelled wonderfully. It was from all the guys he had touched and have touched him; it was from pure atmosphere; it was from feeling free and finally enjoying life.

Armie did not object, just moved a little so that there was space for my head on his crotch. He’s never driven slower, and while he was still drunk, he didn’t hesitate on holding in his voices.

After seeing him in the club, and watching him dance and mingle, I had to hold in the will to not attack him in the club. I’ll wait until we get to the car, that’s what I was thinking about the whole night long. And once we did, I attacked him, and he said nothing, he just let me proceed. I unzipped his jeans, undid the belt, in that order, I was still very much wasted, and pulled out his meaty cock and stuffed my mouth with it. I kept my eyes closed the entire time I was sucking his big cock, going up and down, twisting my jaw, never feeling the ending, never feeling like we are there and that this was my time to stop. No, I never stopped. He tasted amazing, as always, and it was just what I needed to fill my mouth with, because my jaw has been almost cracked opened from all the smiling throughout the entire night. I did it because I felt like it, I did it because it turned me on watching him live his life inside a gay club, I did it for the both of us, and I did it because I’d warm him up faster In his car rather than any other place on Earth.

Anything that could’ve gone wrong, somehow, skipped my mind. Those thoughts were there for a second or two, and then they vanished. We could get caught, we could have an accident. But I believed in the good of the world, and I know nothing and nobody would prevent me from having my window sex tonight.

Luckily, the good repaid, we made it back to his place safely, and within the first five minutes of entering the door, I was already glued to the balcony window, facing the streets of New York at dawn. The lights never went on, we rushed to take off our shoes, he only took off my jeans in a fit of rage once he slammed me against the window. He held my head against the glass as he was undressing himself with one hand. I was way too tired and scared to turn around, so I just stood there and waited for him to enter me. And once he did, in one long go, no preparation, no mercy, I never, ever, felt so full. For some reason, Armie was already sweating. Had he have been sweating in the car? In the club? How did I not notice this before? I felt his sweaty chest hair against my sweaty shirt. I spread my arms across the glass window, feeling them sliding from my sweaty palms. The fog was something that was unavoidable. My entire face was slipping and sliding as he was moving inside me, filling me up, panting due to the tightness of my hole.

This night, I will also remember by the way Armie’s been very vocal and loved talking during sex. He rarely ever did it before, but this night, he was very loud in particular. Or maybe all of this was because I was still drunk and under the influence of a club and the awesome time we just had.

He pulled out for a second. I grunted when I felt the emptiness but could feel cold air rushing against my opened hole.

“Let me just…” He breathed out as he was taking off my shirt…” We don’t need it…” He’s talking now, breathing out his hot breath against the back of my neck, “Oh, there it is…the bruises are…ah…fading away…” He grunted and ran his hands down my spine.

“Maybe you should put them there again…” I moaned into the air and let my body fall backwards against his, grabbing his cock and stroking it with my right hand.

Armie grabbed my jaw and turned my head to look at him. His face was glistening from sweat, hair was sticking to his forehead, his beard looked so greasy, his eyes were dark.

My God, how is he only mine?

“Is that what you want?” His voice was rough.

“Yes, Armie…” I breathed out because I was still stunned by how beautiful he looked.

He only smirked down at me and suddenly, his body stiffened. Did I hit a nerve? Hope so. Because then he won’t hold back.

He pulled my jaw towards him and he kissed me violently, I felt his teeth and his tongue only.

Armie let go of my head and I braced myself up against the foggy and dirty glass window.

“What a good boy you are…” He whispered against my ear as I felt him slapping his cock against my butt checks and then sliding in between, teasing my hole with the head of his cock, making me giggle, until he finally pulled my hips towards him and pushed inside me again.

“Ah! Fuck!” I moaned and slammed my forehead against the window, arching my back into his crotch.

Armie was holding onto my shoulders and controlling the movements by pulling me on and off of his crotch. I had nothing to hold on to. It was just glass in front of me.

“Ah! Armie…” I grunted out, closing my eyes, touching myself from time to time but I was more focused on a big cock I had inside me on the other end, tearing me apart. Who is this man? What is this beast inside of him?

Armie’s hand came out of nowhere and he grabbed my neck and pulled me backwards again. The glass window was a beautiful display as a mirror. I could see us fucking. I could see us.

I could see Armie’s face next to mine, I was frowning and breathing heavily, he was still holding onto my neck, and we were moving, fast. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room quickly. I could see our bodies, I never loved looking at myself in the mirror at all, but now…with him inside me and standing behind me…that’s a whole another level of boosting confidence.

“I loved watching you tonight baby…mmm…everyone wanted to touch you…everyone wanted to fuck you…that turned me on so fucking much baby…” He kept on breathing against my ear, scratching my skin with his beard.

Just his words were enough to make me rush and grab myself and start stroking my cock again.

“Did you see their faces when we were dancing…ah…they were so jealous…they wanted to join us…they couldn’t decide who they wanted more…” He continued to wet my ear with his warm breath.

I moaned silently, I loved this.

“You wanted them as well, just admit it.” He said and bit my ear finally. I shivered.

Being fucked like this…heavenly…I was pretty sure I was losing the control of my legs, since my hole has already been torn apart and left to burn out.

But his words were so fucking hot. The way he said them…no doubt…he was imagining it as well. Taking me somewhere else, touching me, undressing me, filling me up...oh fuck…

“Not, ah…not everyone…just a few.” I breathed out against his ear, he turned to look at me, slowing down. “And I wanted you to be there…to participate…ah…to watch me, to tell…him…ah…tell them what to do with me…nobody knows my body like you Armie…nobody…” I fired back, making it way too difficult for him, but nothing changed, except that it felt like he grew inside me as he was moving slowly.

“Mmmm…that sounds good…” He hummed and chuckled.

I closed my eyes and continued my fantasy.

“I wanted them to…mmm…watch us…ah…have sex, Armie…” I moaned out and began stroking myself faster.

“That sounds even better...ah…” Armie breathed out.

He bit my neck. Wonder what my neck even looks like. I never checked. I’ll see it in the morning. I never managed to look at it in the glass window because he was holding my neck the entire time, and right now…that was not even important anymore.

“Like this?” He asked, still keeping his lips on my neck, once he slowed down almost to the point where I felt like I could come and decorate the window from just him being inside me. He twisted his hips, that made my eyes roll. I arched my back even further into him.

“Yes! Like this mmm…”

“What a good boy you are! My beautiful, beautiful boy…so sick, so freaky…just like me…” Armie breathed out against my neck.

Then he pulled out suddenly, and I felt that cold air again. My God, my hole was so fucking opened.

He turned me around and lifted me up in his arms. I spread my legs around his waist, everything was happening so fast, I didn’t have time to react. Armie slowly let my shoulders against the window as he was looking for my entrance once again. I finally managed to catch a breath but not for long. Soon, he pushed inside me again and continued to pound inside me; slowly at first, and then the only way he knew how.

We continued like this for a while. I tried holding onto the glass window but it was useless, so I held onto his shoulder with one hand, and stroking my cock with the other one. There was no point in holding onto anything, he was the one holding me and that was what mattered the most. Him being so drunk and overwhelmed, actually made me really impressed that he could hold me inside his arms and fuck me like that…like it was nothing.

I could watch as his muscles were contracting, face and body sweating, mouth wide opened, panting and grunting, him looking at my body, and me moaning at the end of this circle.

But we were interrupted for a split second when Archie showed up and began jumping on his calves. I giggled looking at the pup, not knowing what was happening.

Armie looked down at him.

“Move Archie! Daddy’s busy now!” He grunted out and the pup ran away back into Armie’s study room.

I moaned and laughed at the same time. But I’m about to pay for what was coming.

“That’s right daddy…” I moaned and bit my lower lip, trying to pull out my eyes from my skull.

“Say that again and I’ll ki-…”

“Fuck me daddy!” I breathed out and felt him swell up inside me, and felt my cock twitching three times in a row.

I’m gonna die tonight.

It didn’t take long before he unglued my sweaty back from the window, not pulling out, and walked us over behind the carpet.

“Hold on, babe…”

I held onto him for dear life, hugging his neck, giggling on our way. He pulled out eventually, and put me down on the floor. I knew what he was doing; he was looking for the right place where we could come that will not require a lot of cleaning, such as a wooden floor, where we could just mop the semen away and job well done.

I adjusted myself on the floor, feeling the wood already irritating my bruises, watching him adjust as well, kneeling between my legs, and once he did, he exhaled deeply and pulled my hips towards him. He spread my legs further apart like he did in the morning, I helped out by holding my feet as much as I could reach, and that’s when he pushed inside me once again. I arched my entire body due to the sensation. My body became extremely flexible since we started having sex months ago.

“My God…ah…Armie!” I’m now screaming, not holding back anymore.

Of course, he did not manage to hold himself, and I didn’t even want him to try and do that. Armie let go of my legs and wrapped both of his hands around my neck. I can’t breathe. I squeezed my eyes shut and just waited for this moment to pass. I need air, I can’t breathe. I could feel tears sliding down my face.

He let go pretty soon, maybe he was me struggle but there was no way in hell I’d ever use the safe word again.

Armie grabbed my ankles and spread my legs again and continued to fuck my hole as I was moving on the wooden floor, closer and closer to hitting the wall behind me. And scraping my bruised up back against the wooden floor…

I’m now stroking faster, feeling how close I really was, without even noticing it.

“Come on! Fuck me Armie! Come on! Make me come, Armie, make me come!” I grunted, stiffing my teeth, looking him directly in the eyes.

Then Armie pulled out the fasted fuck fest of all times. In just a few short and very, very fast thrusts, I began feeling his cock almost vibrating inside me.

“O-o-o-h s-s-s-shi-i-i-tt Armie-e-e-e!” I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. It felt like I was floating on vibrations.

There was no time for stroking, his vibrating movements made my cock slide inside and outside of my hand and I began coming all over my stomach, without even touching properly. I lifted my body onto my shoulders, head touching the wall behind me, my jaw and cheeks ached because of all the screaming.

I stiffened my body and held onto my breath in that sort of like a bridge pose, until I was sure I was empty. In the meantime, I felt Armie slow down inside me and I heard him silently chuckle. Of course, he liked watching me like this.

My God, I came so hard. And he followed after me. Once I went back to normal, still breathing heavily, I looked down and saw that Armie was now stroking himself while eying my body. When did he pull out? I didn’t feel it. What the fuck?

He only had eyes for me, I kept on looking at him, biting my lips and I did something he’s never going to forget. I bent my knees, pushed a hand down between my legs and pushed a finger inside my hole.

“Oh...” I moaned softly, biting my lips and closing my eyes as I felt his precum inside where he left it when he swelled up.

I know he’s watching me do all of this, I know what he’s thinking, but I am not looking at him, nor do I care what he’s doing. I pull that finger out, brought it up to my lips and licked his precum. My cock twitched again and I pushed that finger back again. My hole was so hot and so opened, it made me shiver.

And when I wanted to push another finger inside, wanting him to watch me finger myself, that’s when I heard him grunt out my name and he pushed his cock back inside me as soon as I removed my fingers. He’s once again, balls deep inside my warm hole and I watch him as he’s making faces while spilling his semen on the inside. He opened his eyes, then squeezed them shut, then frowned and bit his lips, and finally, after releasing a huge amount of breath, he finally exhaled once he filled me up. And he filled me up good.

I smile widely, with teeth, at him, caressing his sweaty face. Armie was still trying to catch a breath, but I was fine. I love touching his face after sex, it has a special glow afterwards. It almost made it seem like he was my mirror, I looked the same as he did, I felt the same as he did, like I was looking at myself. Armie was my mirror. And not just by physical looks. More like emotional and mental one. We shared sexual fantasies, we love each other, we definitely can guess what the other one is thinking about. It’s good. He’s my mirror. And I love him, and if he’s acting up like my mirror, then I love myself as well. And that is something Armie loves to hear.

When he finally exhaled, he kneeled back again and slowly pulled out of me. As soon as he did it, I felt hot and gooey semen slide down my hole and onto the floor. Doesn’t matter, we’ll clean it up afterwards.

Armie was the first one to stand up, not so easy, but he managed. He offered me his hands which I gladly took. He hugged my shoulders and stuffed his head into my sweaty hair. We were all so wet, my God. We were glued against each other, we were both still shaking, he more than me, especially when I put my arms around his waist.

For some reason, we began moving, slowly, almost like slow dancing. It makes senses, we’ve been dancing for hours back at the club. He caressed my back, up and down, until he cupped my face with his huge hands.

“You had fun?” He asked me, looking down at me. Now he’s back to normal. I miss the beast already, but I also needed this gentle giant now more than ever.

“Please, I always do.” I said.

I yawned and then he did as well. Yawning is fucking contagious.

“Did you?” I asked him now.

“You can count on it.” He winked at me.

We kissed. I missed his soft and puffy, post-orgasmic lips so much.

“We better clean this up before heading to bed.” I said, stating the obvious mess we made.

“I’ll get right on it. You go make the bed.” He chuckled and said this.

“Yes sir.” I said, pulling away from him, already walking towards the bedroom.

He swats my ass instead. I should’ve seen this one coming.

“Ouch!” I giggled and walked faster. That’s when I felt his cum sliding down my inner thighs.

I undid the bed and then went to the bathroom to relieve myself. I heard him fiddling with a wash cloth on the floor and he walked in the bathroom just as I was washing my hands. He washed the cloth and put it in the washing machine immediately.

I went back into the bedroom, lied down as he went to the study room to check up on the pup. As I was falling asleep on my own, I could hear him apologizing to the pup for yelling at him like that and for scaring him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	66. Upside down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy and Armie spend their usual morning together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies!! Happy Sunday! I'm posting late again, i know, i'm sorry, but i really hope you'll enjoy this chapter, it's the kind you like, again. Anyway, enjoy it, hope you'll like it and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️
> 
> On a different side-note: In my country, elections are today, and from tomorrow or even Tuesday, we're gonna slowly head back into quarantine because the number of people infected by covid-19 is rising each day, and (shocker) it's all around the elections. I'm not voting, nobody i know will vote because our president is trash. The numbers are jumping and i heard that yesterday, 40 infected people were admitted into the new covid hospital they re-opened, and we're building it for weeks...they knew that once the elections pass, the quarantine will come back. Not surprised at all, and by the looks of it all, i will be taking my exam via video call.  
> Please stay safe and please take care!🙏

In the morning, as soon as I opened my eyes, I was ready for round two.

It would be just our typical Sunday. Only problem was, Armie was asleep. And I didn’t want to wake him up so suddenly. But I needed him awake. We could just do it quickly, and then we could continue lying around and sleeping for the rest of the day. He had his Monday off.

I had no clue what time it was, but it was still pretty early. We went to bed around 4 or 5 am. I couldn’t wait for him so I just fell asleep on my own, and now that I was awake I was not surprised by the pose in which we slept in; Armie was facing me, breathing deeply into my forehead, his massive thighs were found over mine and one of his arms was enough to embrace my whole body against his. I kept my bent arms closer to his chin. I can honestly say that I’ve gotten used to him and this pose that I barely even remembered us getting here.

I unglued myself from him and once I did, and once I felt the cold rush of having one body removed from the other, he hummed and turned to sleep on his back. He wasn’t 100% sleeping, he was floating between dreams and reality, and I needed him in reality so that I could make his dreams come true.

Few hours ago, he took me pretty hard. Nothing I can’t handle, but still…my back ached a little, that will go away soon. It was the most magical night we’ve ever shared; starting from the club, and ending it up with window sex which I craved so much since even before this new year. What we did now, on a Saturday night, that was supposed to be our New Year’s Eve, but Armie got sick and stubborn, and just a little bit bitchy, and we stayed inside.

How do I do this? Just from looking at him in the morning, and feeling his hot skin against mine, just…the overall look of him with the beard and chest hair, and those freakishly long eyelashes, adding his muscles, and voice and oh…all of that made me very horny in the morning. It pains me how good he looks and I know, I just know, I feel it in my bones, he’s not gonna say no to me if I wake him up just to ask him to fuck me once again. We actually don’t need to go that far; we could just settle down for good old hand jobs and blow jobs. It’s his own damn fault he looks so perfect in the morning. It’s not my fault I can’t contain myself. I’m still young, still full of cum, of course I need to take it out somewhere. The best part was, I had just the right person to help me out with taking it out. And there is nothing he won’t do for me, and vice versa.

I uncovered his chest, and once I did, he made a face. I bit my lips once I saw his naked torso, and I didn’t stop there. I removed the covers, it was warm in the room. The safest way to wake him up was to start warming up to him by getting closer to him with my body. I can’t just jump his bones out of nowhere, I could scare the poor guy to death.

Now that I have him on his back, and uncovered, I nuzzled up to his neck, started kissing it slowly and gently. I brushed my nose across it, then kiss it again, then brush it again, then kiss it, few times more until he’s getting used to it. He’s humming again until his mouth opens and begins breathing through it. I smiled when I saw him trying to stretch his lips into a smile.

I let my hand travel lower, touching his chest, his stomach until I settled my hand just on his inner thigh closer to me.

“Armie…” I whispered his name, smiling.

He’s trying to wake up, humming out incoherent words, exhaling deeply. I move my hand just a little bit north, I don’t even look at how my crotch looks like. I can see his eyes twitching, as I’m moving my head more and more to the destination where I want my hand to be, still breathing against his neck.

Armie finally opens his eyes but closes them quickly. I continued kissing him, and touching skin around his crotch area, whispering his name around the wet neck. He opens his eyes again and moves his head to look at me. His eyes were puffy but I could see he’s smiling as well. His chin was itching me. God, I love a man with a beard. I’ll forbid him from ever shaving again, it doesn’t matter that I’m getting razor burns from him.

That’s when I move away from him and straddle his chest with my ass so close to his face and his limp cock just at my reach. I smirk to myself, biting my lips after feeling my body movements for the first time that morning. It was stiff as a board but I was also very hungry. My cock has risen a bit and is lying perfectly stiff on his chest. He has something to wake up to, and so do I.

Now that I know he’s awake I grab his limp cock in my hand. I’ll have to support myself on only one hand but I’d risk everything for this moment. I don’t ever remember having him this limp in the morning, and this close to me. But as I’m stroking him for a while, he’s letting out yet another round of incoherent noises and he’s slowly getting harder in my hand.

“Tim…what…what are you doing?” He muttered and that’s when I felt his cold hand holding onto my butt cheek.

“What does it look like I’m doing, smart-ass?” I breathed out with a smile, looking down at his cock, stroking him slowly.

“It looks like you’re trying to wake me up in a very sneaky way.”

I turned around to look at him. His eyes moved from my ass and he smiles at me, he’s still very much swollen but still very, very handsome.

“You got that one right. Now, just lie there and look pretty, I’ll do all the work.” I said and continued stroking him.

He obeys me and I felt him move behind me, adjusting his position, caressing my skin.

I open my mouth and swallow him. He moans softly, again and again. It’s like a piece of meat in my mouth, but he’s getting there. I’d swallow him as much as I could, pop him out and stroke him for a bit and repeat that many times. All he’s doing is lying down, enjoying the view, if his eyes are opened, and he’s softly moaning so early in the morning. It’s something I adore; not so many hours ago, we engaged into yet another sexual experience, and we’re ready to do it again. Well…I am. He’s getting there. The bed where we sleep, the bed that I’ve gotten used to so fucking much, never felt more like a second home, because he was the constant host. It felt like such a normal thing to do; to wake up, have sex, and go on by our day, have sex, sleep, and repeat the cycle all over again. Probably why we’re pushing it too hard with sex is because I’m the young one, still very much inexperienced, comparing to him, still very much curious, and he’s right there behind me to give me what I want. And what does he get in return? A lover, a future…something, if that’s where we’re headed, and a good old fuck.

After some time, I could really tell when he’s fully awakened after me sucking him off, and now he’s hard, stiff, he could break my teeth with his stone hard cock if he were to slap me suddenly with it. I wouldn’t mind. Armie knows that sex injuries are my favourite ones; rope burns, belt marks, teeth marks, inability to walk or sit down or even to go to the bathroom.

“Come here…” Armie mutters behind me and I’m still holding his cock in my mouth, while he grabs my hips and pulls me closer behind.

He’s caressing the skin, I don’t have much hair back there, or…not at all, while on the other side, he’s hairy everywhere. He’s a real man. My man.

Armie spreads my butt cheeks, I can feel his finger brushing against my cum-covered hole from few hours ago, and I know exactly where this is going. It makes me tickle and I arch my back into his touch. That’s why I’d chuckled to myself as I’m stroking him, up and down, totally unaware the massive junk I’m holding. Maybe it’s because I already got used to it, already got used to having him in my mouth and inside me, but my God…he’s big, comparing to the size of my small hand…he’s big. That’s because he’s a big guy.

“You have a really pretty asshole, Tim. Don’t know if I ever told you this but you do…” He said and I can’t dare myself to turn around and look at him. He’s gonna see my red face.

“Armie…” I breathed out against his wet and hard cock now.

“What? I’m not wrong. And it’s definitely something that caught my eye many times before. But now…so pretty…”

He continued to talk and to touch my hole with one of his fingers. Still, it makes me tickle and squirm. And his words are making me blush.

“And it’s even prettier after being fucked hours ago.” He added with a very strict voice. This one just made me twitch.

Eventually, I turned around to look at him. He’s biting his lower lip, while staring at my skin.

“Stop talking.” I breathed out with a smile and turn around to continue warming him up.

“If you say so…”

That was the last thing he muttered before sticking his long ass tongue in my hole.

“Ah! Armie! Ah! Mmmm…” I shuddered immediately and collapsed on his thighs.

It was totally unexpected and yet, I had it coming. The hot and wet tongue, brushing against my tight hole that already had his left-over cum inside and all around it, and down my thighs…I moaned loudly and rolled my eyes back once his tongue started tickling me. I needed time to get back to reality and compose myself because he’s been destroying me on the other end with only few tiny movements with the tip of his tongue.

But once he dived right in, really got into it, even moving forward and trying to push his entire face inside my hole…yeah, that’s when I lost it. I held onto his hairy calves, hyperventilating, arching into his mouth as he was working me and breaching me with his tongue. I was even drooling, thinking how he can finish me off just like this. He’d be eating my ass and stroking my cock with one of his hands. He’d also push a finger or two inside it just to get it opened, I loved it, his tongue was no match for his fingers, I prefer the tongue; the hot and wet muscle, opening me up, taking back into his own mouth what was rightfully his by birth, his own semen.

After some time of moaning out incoherent noise, and getting the control over my body back, I lifted up only a little bit and continued sucking him off. That made him moan inside my wet and opened hole which made me moan as well, which made him moan…it was a vicious cycle with no end.

So there we were, in the morning, inside a warm bed, naked, me sucking him off on one end, and him eating my ass like his life depends on it, on the other end.

I stopped after a while and continued stroking him instead.

“Sit on my face…” Armie breathed out against my butt cheek and bit it.

I only twitched and straightened my posture and, did as I was told, I sat on his face; trying to match my hole with his tongue, but he was the one in control.

My fucking God! I’ve never done this before; we’ve never done this before. I was sitting on a wet and warm piece of skin that was moving its tip and ruining my hole for me. His nose was also in there which made it just as equally a turn on. Armie was holding my thighs and I was holding onto his chest muscles, playing with his nipples. I threw my head backwards the second I felt this sensation and began moving back and forth on his face.

“Mmmm…Armie…fuck…” I moaned and bit my lips as I was still moving on top of his face.

It was something I have never felt before. It had a different vibe to it; him and his tongue. His tongue! And he’s moving it just like he thinks I need it. And I obviously need it because damn…it felt so fucking good. I watched him twitch in front of me but I couldn’t dare move and touch him because it wouldn’t be the same if I’m not sitting on his face.

We went on like for a while, I never wanted this to stop. I was scared to touch myself because I thought I’d come way too fast.

Eventually we did stop, I bent down and continued sucking his cock and he finally had some air to inhale. After that, I climbed off him and faced him for real for the first time this morning. Looking at his face…that’s where I was sitting for the past 10 minutes or so. He kissed me and I could feel the salt in between kisses; he kissed me with his left-over cum on his tongue from a few hours ago.

Armie pulled me towards him and I lied next to him with my back turned towards his chest. Yes! It’s exactly how we should wake up in the morning. I was already running out of breath.

I waited for him to get ready. Armie spat on his fingers and coated his cock with it. I arched my back into his crotch just a little bit and was waiting for him to penetrate me. Soon, he did, in only one movement. I was proud of the both of us how easy sex was for us, now that we’ve gone through all of it; lube, fingers, butt plug, anal beads, everything already went through my system and it made our sex life a lot easier.

I held onto a pillow and I held his hand that he pushed in front of me and we intertwined the fingers. Armie started moving inside me very smoothly, that ass eating really helped, now I know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I made it easier a bit by arching my back a little bit more and lifting a leg bent in the knee. Overall, I loved the feeling, I will never get tired of this, and neither will he. I love this feeling of having him inside me, I love this connection, I love the atmosphere we create whenever we’re having sex.

Now, we’re already sweaty and moaning, moving on the bed, holding onto each other, kissing and giggling each time his cock would pop out of me and I’d break the hand holding just to put it back where it belongs.

Armie would kiss my shoulder and bite onto it, I’d be running out of breath really quickly, feeling the exhaustion and sensation overpowering me pretty soon.

And then he popped out and pulled me back to lie on top of him; my back pressed to his chest. I’d bend my knees and make the access easier for him. We’ve never done this pose before and it felt absolutely magical. My head was right next to his, I could listen to him grunting, panting and moaning so close to my ear. I’d mirror the sounds, adding some of my own, rolling my eyes, biting the lips, licking my upper lip because it was sweaty. Armie’s arm was around my stomach, and both of my hands were holding onto it, trying to push him deeper inside me, like it was even possible. His other hand was holding onto my thigh, taking control of my legs so as not to collapse or even let him pop out.

He did, few times, which only made us giggle, but we put him back inside me again.

“Ah…Armie…so good…” I moaned against his cheek with my eyes closed.

“Yeah…you like this baby?” He breathed out, smiling, biting onto my neck.

“Mhm…very much…”

It was a normal rhythm we followed, not too slow, not to fast, moving our lower parts of the bodies at the same time.

Can I die like this, please? I’m already lying on a group I worship; on him. Is it possible to feel even better while having sex with Armie? Why yes, yes it is. And I know, I just know, this is only the beginning, we only have so much more to experience together.

“Fuck…Tim…I love you so fucking much, you know that right?” Armie breathed out, moving my head to stare him directly into his eyes.

I only managed to nod, looking at his luscious and sweaty lips.

“No, answer me.” He said and sped up a bit, hitting various spots inside me.

“I do, I do know that! I love you too…so much…so much Armie…” I moaned out, feeling very tired and so close, and on the verge of crying.

I opened my mouth wide, letting out short and hot breaths into his face.

Armie kept our eyes glued as he moved his hand between my legs and began stroking me. He knows exactly when I’m close and what my face looks like, there was no need for words. He knows me so well.

Few seconds later, after him stroking me faster and faster, I stiffened on top of him and began trembling as I was letting out thick white lines of my semen decorate my sweaty body. I held onto my screams and only kept my eyes closed for a while as I was still lying on top of him. My entire body was doing a dance mix of convulsing and stiffening. The warm wave came over me as he was milking me dry, not letting a single drop of cum inside my tube. I let my tears fall once he attached his lips on my jaw and neck.

After I was only left hyperventilating, Armie kissed me and pulled out of me. The cold air kicked in and I hissed inside the kiss.

He got out from underneath me and kneeled between my legs, jerking himself, looking down at me, like he did few hours ago. I could see his muscles contracting and relaxing, his mouth was opened and only grunting came out. Armie needed the image of me being freshly fucked to get off.

When I saw him and recognized his face of being way too close, I had to make myself get up and lie upside down, underneath his cock so that he could come on my face. We were, yet again, upside down by my command.

I lied there, smiling and sticking my tongue out. All Armie did was chuckle. I pushed a hand between his legs and continued massaging his perineum as to stimulate and increase the sensation of an orgasm. Armie doesn’t know this but I did a little research on my own. He was taken aback by this, rolling his eyes and visibly shaking. He wanted to say something, but said nothing instead.

And just as he was about to come, someone knocked on the door. And then knocked again.

“Fuck…who is that…” I muttered, massaging him faster.

“Maybe it’s some books I…fuck…I ordered a while ago…fuck Tim…” He breathed out.

Then, whoever it was, it moved to the doorbell. Archie was barking.

“Jesus. I’m coming!” Armie yelled to the wall next to us.

He looked down at me with a smile.

“Literally…” He added and that’s when he began shooting his semen all over my face; over my eyebrow, chin, and tongue.

I pulled his cock inside my mouth and wiped him clean. He was shivering and bits of sweat were falling down onto my face, alongside his cum.

Still shaking and panting, Armie bent down and kissed me, upside with tongue, deeply, taking some of his cum back to him. We laughed afterwards and the doorbell made its sound again.

Armie rolled his eyes and started running around the room, gathering his boxers and a shirt…something to put on just to open the fucking door.

“Jesus…I’m going, I’m going…” I heard him mumble as he was walking away.

I lied there, eyes closed, a big grin on my face, arms behind my head. I felt so happy, so full, so grateful, so in love, so beautiful, my skin was so fucking amazing. He’s gonna come back after he gets his books, we’re gonna talk for a bit, and then we’ll either sleep some more or get up and eat.

I could hear him open the door and that was basically it. No sound from him for a while.

“What…what are you doing here?” I could definitely tell there was a panic in his voice, even through closed doors.

“What do you mean?”

A voice of a woman. My eyes flew open. One of his exes? He didn’t sound happy to see her.

“A mother can come and visit her son every once in a while.” She said.

Oh shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello drama...
> 
> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	67. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After they had an unexpected visitor, Timmy and Armie are trying to get on with their day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies! Yes, back so soon! I actually wrote this chapter last night, in a single breath. A little heads-up; this chapter might be a bit confusing because it will miss a big part which i will include in the next chapter. Some parts are gonna be revealed here, but mostly it's just them after that morning's interruption. Explanation is coming in the next chapter. I really hope you'll like it, and not hate me hehe, enjoy it, as much as you can try, and as always, let me know your thoughts in the comments, hopefully, not hateful ones.❤️  
> Stay safe and take care!🙏

We both needed a good distraction that day, and we were both settled in to find it and use it. And what better way to ignore problems that are not fixable than forgetting about them and move on to sex. He wanted to do it, I was hesitant, but then…what else are we gonna do? How long until all of this passes? Hours, days, weeks? Are we ever gonna go back to normal? It was like there was an elephant in the room, just casually sitting in the corner, waiting for us to do something to kick it out through a small door. If it wasn’t an elephant, it was definitely something that has been sitting on both our shoulders. We were very quiet and awkward after we woke up from our nap. There was very little physical contact, on both sides, we didn’t kiss, we rarely ever looked at each other, we smiled on few occasions but that was it.

I wanted to go home. I didn’t feel comfortable with him being like this, and I was feeling the same way. Sometimes, when two people are feeling the same, it can go two different ways; we could talk about it, or we could ignore the shit out it. We decided to ignore it and continue with our day. He didn’t want to talk, I didn’t want to talk, that was it.

Somewhere before evening, I told him I wanted him to drive me home and he had tears in his eyes when he almost kneeled in front of me to beg me to stay. I stayed. And couple of minutes later, after he had kissed me for the first time since this morning, we were already naked, lying on his bed.

I was lying underneath him, he kneeled between my legs, looking totally distracted. His mind was elsewhere and I wasn’t doing better either. I wasn’t hard, he was working on his own. I’d catch myself staring into nothing as he was still stroking himself, trying to penetrate me, but it was no use, he wasn’t getting hard.

This was my worst nightmare, not as much as for me, but for him. I couldn’t care less if he couldn’t get it up, it happens, but this will destroy him. This was all coming from the guy who got a semi-boner at an engagement party only because he knew I was wearing a backless bib with silky ropes underneath a jacket. Now, I was lying naked, as open as I could be, and it was not working.

I looked towards him, he was distressed, it was undeniable. He kept on jerking his cock, and when he felt like this is the one, he tried pushing inside me, but very soon, he pulled out. It was very awkward; I have never felt like this with him. We both got burned this morning…how do we get out of this?

Armie tried it again, he almost made it, but he pulled out just as fast, there was no use; he was not hard. My heart ached for him. I don’t want this to destroy his confidence. I pushed a hand between my legs and cupped his cock. He let me. I looked down as I was stroking him, stopping for a split second just to spit on my hand and cover him up with saliva. Armie moaned. Maybe because of the feeling of saliva on him, not because it felt good. Can’t really remember if I had worked on something this hard as much as I did on helping him get it up that day. My arm started to ache pretty fast. We made no eye contact. Once I was okay with the hardness of his cock, I helped him push inside me and we made it.

Armie bent down closer to my face. He made no eye contact what so ever, he wasn’t even looking me in the face, or anywhere near, his eyes went behind my head, or even somewhere else. He was thinking, and thinking a lot. I was looking at his face, trying to silently invite him to look at me. Look at me Armie! Not there! Me!

I was holding onto his shoulders as he was getting harder inside me, and barely even moving. Did I feel anything? No…the passion and sexual atmosphere was non-existing, that’s why I felt absolutely nothing. It was so silent in the room, we weren’t out of our breaths, not sweating, he was going in slowly, there was basically no passion, no desire. I hated this. We were never like this. And I know exactly what changed, we both did, and it wasn’t something we could run away from. It’s there, it’s following us. We were both so awkward and weird with each other like we’ve never met before.

Did we just convert from lovers to strangers?

God, no, please…don’t let this go away. Don’t let this morning, as much as good it was, don’t let that be the last time we’re gonna have good sex. Don’t let us end this. I need to grab onto him, I need to grab onto whatever this is…he is mine. I am not letting this go, and I am not letting her win.

“Armie…” I whispered his name.

As soon as I said his name, he looked down at me. He was sad, there were no wrinkles around his eyes, he was not smiling, he did not look like himself. Never would I ever guess he’s having sex with that face. I’d rather have no sex than have sex with a face like that one.

“You okay?” I asked him.

Few seconds later, after leaving me silent and without an answer, he pulls out of me and moves away from my naked body. The feeling stayed the same, that’s how bad we were that day. That’s when I realized that my cock stayed limp the entire fucking time. This has never happened to us. Never. And I really, really hope this is not the last time, I don’t want this to end. Not like this. Not while his mind was elsewhere when he was inside of me.

Armie sat on the bed, his back was turned towards me and magically, he found a pack of cigarettes that he had smoked earlier in the day because he was stressful. He opened it, light one up and only pushed a hand behind his back, offering me one. What, now he can’t even turn around to look at me, or ask me a simple yes or no question?

“I’m good, thanks.” I said as I was crawling and sat right next to him.

I’ve never seen him this much destroyed. He kept his head down and eyes closed. I wished that I could turn back time and erase the moment he got up to open the door. I’d keep him in the room, I’d grab his balls and squeeze them, I’d do it again just so that he could stay in the room with me and not answer the door. All of the problems had started after he had opened the fucking door. He’s probably traumatized.

“How’s your eye?” I asked him, referring to what happened and what a nail can do to somebody’s eye.

I reach out to touch him, there is a little scrape next to his eye but it looks okay.

“Fine, don’t worry about it.” He says and blinks a few times just to get my finger off of his face.

I do it and exhaled deeply as we were sitting there in silence. Him smoking, me thinking about what to say.

“Armie…it happens. It happens to a lot of people, it’s not a big deal. It happens.” I turned to look at him and say this.

Armie breathes out a huge amount of air, doing his best not to break down in front of me. Because he had to be the older one, the stronger one, the more composed one. Well, fuck that, there are no rules or roles here.

“Not to me. Not to us.” He flat out said this and took another inhale.

He’s right, I hate to admit it but he’s right. We’ve never had this kind of a problem before. Then again, we never that problem knock at our door at 9 in the morning which led us to where we are now.

“I look like an idiot…” He breathed out, sounding defeated.

I turn my body towards him, letting my face get closer to his.

“You’re not, you’re not an idiot, you’re wonderful.” I whisper the wholesome truth.

Armie opened his eyes, turns my way and faces me.

“I can’t get it up, Tim!”

He raised his voice. I understand the frustration, I do. What can I do to make it all better? Is there a way of forgetting this?

“Armie, it happens, I don’t care about this. I don’t. You know me.” I said and held onto his hand. He’s not hesitant, he’s just smoking.

“I do care. And you’re so…so beautiful, so perfect. If I can’t get it up when you’re naked and ready, looking like this, then…” He said, pointing my naked body with his dark eyes.

I need to calm myself down before I freak out. We’re silent again. I put my chin on his shoulder and he’s still smoking, shaking a bit, that cigarette did not sit well with his empty stomach. We only ate very little the entire day long. We were both traumatized.

“I’m honestly not surprised you can’t get it up after what she said.” I said.

I can feel him nod.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked him and moved my face a little just so we could establish some sort of contact.

On my surprise, he looks me in the eyes.

“I don’t want to think about anything, that’s the thing.” He breathed out, closing his eyes.

I get that.

“Can I make a little proposition?” I ask him.

“Please.”

“How about we go back to this morning. Right before you answered the door. And we enjoy that time a little longer. Erase everything that happened afterwards, because, believe it or not Armie…there is nothing you can do right now, regarding what she said. And after we finish, we’ll talk about it.” I whispered and meant every word. My God, how I fucking wished I could just go back to that morning. Is it too much to ask?

He nodded his head.

“There is nothing to talk about Tim.”

“There is. And we are going to talk about it. We agreed Armie. No more bullshit, no more keeping it to ourselves. Am I right?” I am calm, I am composed, we are having a conversation like two adults.

“Yes, you are. You are so right.” He breathed out once more.

We’re silent once again. He’s still smoking. What the fuck? How long is this cigarette?

“Are you thinking about…us and…ending it and…” I had to ask.

“No! No! God no! I just…she didn’t have to go there. She didn’t have to insult you. She didn’t have to say all that…”

“I agree, but she did, and you have to face it. Either you’re going to ignore that and continue your life, or you’re going to embrace what she said and run away. Your choice.” I said, looking directly at him.

“My choice? What the fuck? I already made my choice, I am here, with you!” He frowned at me.

“That’s because you won’t let me leave, you’re too scared of being alone. And yet, you’re here, but it doesn’t feel like it. I can see you, I can feel your skin, I can hear your voice, but that’s…that’s just your body, not Armie.” I gave up, I let one tear slide down, didn’t even know I was ready for crying, apparently, I was.

He breathes out and his face relaxes. Armie reaches out and touches my cheek and keeps his hand there. I needed his touch more than he’s aware of it.

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m sorry…I want this to end and I want us to get back to normal.” He whispered.

“We could at least try.”

“Yeah…”

He nods his head, looks away and he’s back at me soon.

“Nothing has changed Tim. I love you. I’m just very…fucked up now.” He said. I believed him, it made me feel a lot better.

“Imagine how I feel.” I scoffed and we both chuckle but it didn’t last long.

He’s still holding onto my cheek as he turns around and put the cigarette out. Armie connects our lips and he’s pulling me with him as he’s moving backwards to lie on the pillow. I straddle his hips and move lower until I find his cock and stuff my mouth with it.

He hisses immediately and keeps his hand in my hair. This is good. We’re both improving. I twitched once he tugged onto my hair and controlled the movements of my head. This is better than the last time. Let’s just hope it continues like this.

He’s even smiling at me, I tried to keep the eye contact as long as possible, I need him like that, I don’t want to continue this awkward atmosphere that is simply just awful. We’re a couple, yet we certainly don’t act like one. We love each other, yet we don’t talk to each other or even look at each other. But now, it’s a bit better, I can work with this.

He growing inside my mouth, that makes me happy, and I am relieved. Armie’s not saying anything, he’s just watching me, smiling at me, controlling the movements. He’s not forcing me or anything, that hand on my head is there as a support. I caress his thighs as I’m working with what he’s giving me. He is now fully hard and I am ready to jump back where I belong.

This is good, we’re working it well, we can make it, we’ll make it through this. We’ll have sex and then we’ll talk. Or we won’t. Maybe we’ll go back to how it was, trying to erase what happened. But I don’t know. I’m not really comfortable about avoiding problems, I bet he is, but he can’t do this anymore. He can either have some time alone and think about stuff, or we can talk it out. There’s nothing we can’t get through. Unless…we don’t want to. If there is something burning on the inside of our hearts and we don’t talk about it only because we hate opening up…that is not good, that can only lead to more problems, and we could end up resenting each other.

I popped him out after only maybe few minutes of sucking him off. Everything was done so quickly.

I straddled his lap and I did all the work myself. Armie was lying on the pillow, looking at me, biting his lip as I slowly pushed his cock inside me.

I decided to count how long and how many thrusts before I get the old Armie back, the real Armie, not just his body, his soul and his voice as well. When I reached the number four, I moved on top of him four times and Armie suddenly stopped. He swelled up inside of me, he shut his eyes closed and I felt him spilling his semen on the inside of my body.

Oh fuck.

I only gasped because of the feeling of being full. Armie’s head was thrown back and he was tugging onto the sheets, letting out short breaths.

Which is worse? Not being able to get it up or coming after only four thrusts and a very sloppy and short blow job? Both are considered as sort of mental problems. Which is worse? His eyes are still closed, million thoughts ran through my mind until he was fully done. First he couldn’t get it on or even think about sex, now…he thought about it a lot.

Again, none of these matter to me. I don’t care if he came first or not at all. This is yet going to destroy him. I am scared of his reaction once he opens his eyes.

When he did, he slammed his head back on the pillow and I removed myself from him, spilling his semen on his crotch, my thighs and the bed sheets. We really need to change those.

He was silent and then he just jumped out of bed. Armie began dressing up, ignoring the fact that he had cum all over his legs.

“That’s it! I’m out.” He said as he was putting on his boxers, sweatpants, and a shirt he found on the floor.

What is he even talking about? I am just too tired to follow him. Why am I not even panicking?

“Where are you going?” I ask him as I was sitting on the bed.

“Out.”

“Where out?”

“Out. I need space and I need to think and I…I can’t be here right now.” He said as he was putting on the white shirt.

“Can I come with you?” I asked him, getting off the bed, naked.

“No.”

He won’t even look at me.

“Why not?”

“You just can’t, Tim.” He said.

And just as Armie was at the door of the bedroom, I decided to give myself one last chance before I completely lose it.

“Tokyo!” I raised my voice.

“What?” He turned around, frowning at me.

“Tokyo. I’m using the safe word now.”

His entire body relaxed and he let go of the door handle.

“Armie…you can’t do this. I know it sucks about what happened and what she said but you need to stop dude, for a second. And think about it. Think before you leave and regret it afterwards.”

“Tim…”

He came up closer to me, grasping onto my shoulders.

“No, no, don’t touch me.” I bit back and moved away from him.

I’ve never seen him like this. He is fucking traumatized. Who knew that a mother could do this to her own son? I get why he’s been acting the way that he did around her and whenever she would come up as a topic.

Armie moved away from the door and sat on the bed, I sat next to him.

“Listen. I need to go out and think, about a lot of stuff. But I will come back, I promise you.” He breathed out, looking at me.

“I don’t believe you.”

This one actually hurt me saying it out loud, and it hurt him as well. Because we both knew I didn’t mean it.

“Maybe you’ll come back…physically…but you’re gonna change your mind about me and about us, and I don’t want to be there when it happens. I’m going home.” My voice is now shaking, this is not what I signed up for.

“No, Tim, please…listen…” He wanted to soothe me by touching my hands.

“No! You don’t want to talk to me and I…”

“You can’t force me to talk Tim! I can’t think under pressure.” He burst out.

I looked at him, sobbing. He was on the verge of a break down. A mental break down.

“Am I pressuring you?” I asked him, softly.

“You kind of are.”

Maybe I was. Maybe.

“Listen…I’ll go out, drive off somewhere, gather my thoughts and then I’ll come back, I promise you, I swear to you. I will come back. It’s just…I’m going through a lot right now. My head is fucked up. It’ll be better for me to think everything through and then we can talk, we’ll stay up awake for as long as you need me and we’ll talk. I promise you.”

I have school in the morning, and yet, this was more important to me than anything. We made a deal, no more running away, no more hiding, no more secrets, we need to talk. But this sounds okay to me. I believe him when he says that he’s gonna come back, I was bullshitting earlier. If that’s what he needs, if he’s only going to think…I’m fine with that. I trust him completely, and after the chaos of the day, I don’t blame him for being such a hard person to break. He is traumatized.

“But I need you to also promise me something.” He added as he pulled me closer to him, touching my face and wiping the tears off my cheeks.

“What?” My voice broke.

“I need you to be there. I need you to stay here and wait for me, because…I need to know there’s at least one home I can return to. Please…”

I sobbed louder. Home…

“I will not change my mind about us, you heard me what I said to her this morning. I am not moving or changing. Will you do that Tim?”

He is right. I heard him, I smiled on the inside when he said that he’s not going anywhere, and that he’s not gonna let me go so easily. We were both suffering from this morning’s surprise. I was traumatized after that 7-minute meeting, can’t imagine how Armie must be feeling after being traumatized for 26 years.

“Okay.” I whispered and nodded my head in his hands.

“Really?” There is hope in his voice.

“If you feel like you need to be alone to think, fine. But please, please, come back.” I put my hands over his. When I looked down, I realized I was still naked.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

He kept repeating as he was kissing my wet lips. I grasped onto his lips, never wanting him to let go.

Soon, he got up and went in the hallway to put his jacket on and his shoes on. I found his other boxers…or were they mine…and put them on. There was a pack of cigarettes on the nightstand. I took five cigarettes out, grabbed his wallet and his phone and headed towards him. I turned his phone on to check the time.

He was zipping his jacket when I appeared in front of him. I gave those stuff to him and he put them in his pocket. Armie unlocked the door and was already out with one foot.

“Armie?” I called for him, hugging myself.

He looked up. He looked terrible. He needs to empty his brain and sleep.

“It’s 8 pm now. If you’re not back until midnight, I’m dressing up, going back home and I’m ending it with you. I swear, you won’t hear from me ever again.” I said.

“Fair enough.”

And then he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	68. His homecoming (The End)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armie and Timmy deal with the situation in their own separate ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babies! This is the final chapter of this fic. It will be a mix of POVs, hope you can follow it. Enjoy this last chapter, hope you'll like it and let me know your thoughts in the comments!❤️

Timmy’s POV

After Armie left, I finally let exhaustion overtake me. What kind of a person am I for letting my partner go away and think? I believed him when he said that he’s gonna come back, I trusted him that he’s gonna come back. He really has nowhere else to go. And neither do I. Well, no actually I do, but it’s not the same. I’d be losing him.

So, I just let it all out, I gave up and let my mind go blank. I will not think or do anything until he comes back. What could he even say when he comes back? He promised he will not change his mind about us, he promised he will come back home. Okay, let’s go with it.

Honestly, I can agree that it was good idea for him to go somewhere else and be alone for a while to gather his thoughts. Nothing wrong with that. But I hate how he handled the situation before he left. I will take the blame as well, I was avoiding him around the apartment, it was way too weird to initiate anything at all.

So, I made my mind easier and just erased everything. He will come back and we’ll get back to the way we were.

I got back into the bedroom and put some clothes on. For the first time that day, I managed to eat something. As I was snooping around the drawers to find the peeler, I found a lighter instead. Perfect, I have cigarettes with me and now I have something to light them up with. But even before I began making something, I took my phone out and texted him:

_I know we’re supposed to be fighting, but please, drive safe and come back to me._

Then I continued making dinner with Archie running around my feet. I did my best. It did feel nice not having him around. Maybe it’s because the entire day was way too awkward, and two negative energies inside one room can really hit a person. But I liked it like this. I tried not to think about what happened. But him feeling destroyed for not getting it up and then later on, coming too fast…my heart goes out for him, but after the day we had, it’s totally understandable that sex was the last thing on his mind. And we needed a distraction.

After I filled Archie’s bowls, my phone dinged and it was a message from him.

_I love you so much._

I didn’t reply. I’ll reply if I see him before midnight.

I ate, then I talked to my mom and as soon as she picked up, I felt the weight lift off my chest and I broke down crying. I told her everything that has happened and she had nothing but kind words for me, and for Armie. I told her he’s out, thinking. She said that this was what she used to do when she was a new mom. A young mom, in med school. She’d leave Victor with our grandmother and she’d go somewhere else to cry and clear her mind. I understand that now, but it only made me cry harder.

After dinner, I took Archie out and I realized I enjoyed this Hammer’s company more than ever. When I came back, I put his clothes back on, light up a cigarette and lied on the couch to watch some TV. The pup lied down, next to my feet and as the time went on, I felt sleepy and eventually, I did fell asleep.

But just as I was slowly fading away, my mind rushed to this living room and the scenario from this morning.

Morning, 12 hours earlier:

I got up, covered in sweat and cum. I was visibly shaking. What to do, what to do? Am I gonna meet her now? Now? After sex? And with her son’s cum on my face…oh God, no…maybe she’ll be here for a short while and maybe Armie will chase her away. Maybe Armie will keep quiet about having anyone at his place. What if she notices my jacket and my shoes in the hallway? What if she notices my stuff around his place? Fuck, fuck, fuck…

My legs were trembling and my mind was spinning as I was gathering stuff off the floor to put them on. In case, she either walks in his bedroom, or if I come out. If she walks in, no doubt, she can smell sex in the room. It was undeniable. Disgusting for a mother to find out that her son…okay, no…don’t.

I grabbed the first thing I could find and put on. I put his sweatpants that were way too big on me, and his shirt. If she knows what her son is wearing…shit. I rushed across the room and took out baby wipes and cleaned my face with one movement, trying to clean everything. Then I pushed a hand underneath the shirt and cleaned my own semen off my stomach. I combed my hair with my hands.

The whole time, I could hear them talking but my mind was racing way too fast to stop and listen to what they had to say. Did he mention me? Did she mention someone else? I am so fucking scared. Was Armie scared like I was before meeting my mom? No, he wasn’t. He couldn’t wait to meet her.

Or maybe…Armie’s scary stories about his scary mother are just now coming out to scare me.

Fuck. Everything was so perfect three minutes ago. We had this beautiful connection while having sex in the morning and now…I hate this.

We can get out of this. I want to meet her, but after what he told me…not so sure. Maybe we can lie so that I can sneak away and go back home. A little lie won’t do no damage. Then I had to remind myself what I did, and when I told my friend that Armie was my cousin. Okay, if Armie doesn’t come back soon, I’ll stay locked in until she goes away.

But then Armie walked in and I began freaking out. So, nothing on me staying locked in. He was still sweaty and was still very much panicking. Now we’re both scared.

“Hey…my mom is here…um…” He said as he was closing the door behind him.

“Yeah, I heard.”

Armie opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it.

“Listen…um…I’ll go home, I’ll wear this and just put on a jacket and my shoes.” I said. This sounds like a good plan.

“No, Tim, wha-…” He shook his head, coming closer to me.

“Introduce me as your student, it’s fine. I won’t get mad. Please, it’s fine. Tell her I just dropped by for some extra studying, I don’t know.” My voice is shaking.

Armie only pulled out a little smile and sat on the bed as he was putting on his pajama bottoms.

“No. I told her I had someone in here, and that it’s someone I’m dating.” He said and I was floored.

This stunned me. It made me proud of him very much. He really said that?

“Does she know I’m a dude?” I joked, not being able to erase a smile from my face.

“She does. I just don’t know if she believes me.” He said and got up.

I looked around the room. It seemed so unreal that this was happening. So much in one morning. And I had no idea what time it was.

“Come on…” He said.

I was hesitant, keeping my hands to myself.

“Armie, I’m scared.” I breathed out, looking down at my bare feet.

He chuckled, silently, and softly, then he came closer to me and grabbed my face with his hands.

“No, don’t be baby, everything is gonna be okay.” He said.

I trust him, I believe him, in the end…everything is going to be okay.

“Oops, you missed the spot.” He said looking at me.

Then he opened the baby wipes and took one out. He wiped my left eyebrow. Don’t even want to think what I looked like.

“Thanks.” I said once he finished and threw the wipe on the floor. My God, he is so messy, as am I.

I took a deep breath and walked out. Maybe it won’t be anything serious. I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Just relax.

Armie’s POV

Once I got inside the car, I contemplated whether or not I should just get up and get back home, or drive. But I couldn’t. My mind was full and I needed time and space to empty it. Tim is the kind of a person that likes to talk about everything and at the moment of speaking. I am not. I let everything bubble up inside and then I let it all out. Under pressure. I’ve been dealing with my mother for years and it never ends good, neither did this morning’s visit.

I shook my head and started the car. I was driving and thinking the entire time. Tim will kill me for thinking so much, but that’s exactly why we fit together so perfectly. We both love being overdramatic and overthinking. But I am coming home, I am definitely coming home.

I drove back to our special and empty place where we have already been there twice. And wow, the progress. First oral sex ever, car sex, and now I’m here alone…

He texted me. I laughed a little and pressed the phone against my chest. I love him so much, he’s so adorable when he’s angry. I texted him exactly how I felt. I may have let a tear slide.

But as soon as I started figuring out what happened, like in the movie, I had a flashback of this morning. If only we could’ve let this morning be remembered by an amazing sex we had.

Morning, 12 hours earlier.

She was the last person I expected to see on the other side of that door. I ordered fours books, three for me and one for Tim, and I was expecting them any day now. I really wish those books came instead of the woman who gave birth to me. That sounds terrible in my mind, but my mother and I do not have a typical mother-son relationship. When I opened the door and saw her standing there, I was out of breath.

I was still sweaty and out of breath because we just had sex, good sex. And she’s here now. Can she smell him on me?

“What…what are you doing here?” I breathed out, still holding the door, not letting her in.

“What do you mean?” She asked, smiling, looking at me.

I closed my mouth.

“A mother can come and visit her son every once in a while.” She said and walked pass by me.

The apartment was a mess. There were clothes and his things all over the place, the kitchen was messy, the windows were dirty and foggy. And the smell inside the room was…so intense. I know this smell. I know it too well, it’s on me.

“I was at the church just now.” She said with her cheery voice as she was taking off her scarf. Of course she was at the church. And after the house of God, she came to the nest of sins.

“Aha…” I nodded my head.

“Do you go to church?” She asked once she sat down on the couch.

I frowned at her. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been to church.

“Mom, what…no.” I said, shaking my head, keeping the distance.

“Why not?”

“Because…I don’t.”

I looked over at the bedroom door. Can he hear us? I’m scared he’s gonna come right out naked, covered in sweat and cum and stand like that in front of her. I love seeing him like that but I don’t really want to piss her off that way. She is my mother after all, although…she acts like I’m her worst enemy.

If he can hear us…is he scared?

“Your place is a mess.” She stated the obvious.

“I know.”

She smiled at me. I’m all over the place, still standing by the couch, not sitting down, nor do I intend to.

“So, what’s new Armand? How is work?”

“Good, good, actually.”

She nods her head in approval. I hate this. I want to go back to the bedroom now and be with him.

“And what about what your brother told me?”

Where the fuck did she pull this out? Ben met Tim and he told her about it? That’s the only thing I could think of.

“Told you what?” I played dumb.

“About your friend.”

Ben said I had a friend? Real clever. He doesn’t believe me either. No wonder Tim smelled bullshit when he came by. He was right.

“He said that?”

“He did. Can I meet her?”

Is she fucking kidding me? Ben told her about my “friend”, she knows there is no female friend. Unless Ben lied to her.

“Okay, what is this? We haven’t seen each other in months. Months. And now you come in and want to talk?” I burst out.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing.” She chuckled.

“You could’ve called.” I said.

“And what’s wrong with me coming to visit you in person?”

I shook my head out of frustration.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“So…your friend?” She chuckled again.

I frowned once more. This is bullshit.

“Did you come here only for that?”

“Why else?”

Of course. She is here to ruin everything. Again.

“And your brother said it’s a friend...what kind of a friend?”

I looked down at my feet, crossed my arms and looked up.

“He’s not just a friend.” I said, feeling rather proud of myself.

Her eyes widened.

“He?”

“Yes.” I nodded my head.

She chuckles, twice, before opening her mouth.

“Oh, you’re so silly Armand.” She laughs out.

“I am not silly.” I’m serious.

“This is just yet another one of your short boy crushes, this will pass, like everyone else did.” She brushed it off, still laughing.

“It’s not just a crush. We are dating. And he is not going to pass.” I said.

She stops laughing. She looks behind me.

“Is he here?”

“He is.”

“I want to meet him. And give you both a lecture.” She said.

I uncrossed my arms and stiffened my teeth on my way to the bedroom.

“You are not opening that God damn mouth of yours around him.”

“Armand! Language!”

I rolled my eyes once I entered the bedroom. Tim was there, wearing my clothes, he was sweaty and his neck was covered in my marks. No way we can cover that one. I put my pajama boxers on, and I listened but disregarded his idea of lying to her and introducing him as a student. What students comes around at 9 in the morning? To their professor’s place? Looking like that? But it’s too late, I told her about him. Did I feel good? Oh yes, and proud of myself. I wiped his face and we went out.

He was visibly shaking. I wanted to hug him and never let him go. Never let him enter the living room.

We showed in front of her, she was standing as soon as we got out. There was zero expression on her face. She only looked at him, then at me, then back at him. He was so nervous, oh…my baby.

I looked at him for a split second, he was smiling, but with such force. I hate when he’s doing that. No one should smile on force. That’s a red flag right there.

“Mother, this is him. He’s my partner. We’ve been dating for months now.” I said.

Tim was looking at me while I was talking and playing with his hands. He made one step closer to her and extended his hand to meet her.

“Hi, I’m…” He began but…

She interrupted him.

“Really don’t care. Move your hand dear.” She snapped out.

“Mom!” I yelled at her. What the fuck is going on? Tim only gasped, closed his mouth and put his arm down.

She payed no attention to me.

“How old are you sweetie?” She asked and I wanted to hit her. I can’t believe I’m thinking about hurting my own mother.

Tim looked at me and I gave him a little nod.

“I’m 20.” He said. Surprisingly, he didn’t stutter.

“Young. Very young. Do you know how old is my son?”

He looked at me, I was furiously looking at her.

“I do know.”

She hummed and smiled.

“Hm, a little advice dear: go get dressed, go home and get tested.”

That’s it.

“Mom!” I yelled again and already made a step closer to the door. I want to kick her out. I was boiling inside.

“I am leaving.” She said as she turned around to grab her things.

“I should go too.” Tim spoke softly behind me.

I turned around immediately. He’s not going anywhere.

“No! You stay. She will go.” I raised my voice at him and I could see he shivered a bit. So he moved further back, leaning against the wall, probably sobbing silently.

I walked up to her, trying to control myself.

“What the hell mom? I introduce you to a person whom I love and this is how you react?”

“Love? You know nothing about love, and he is too young. You will get tired of him because he is too young and you won’t ever match up to his expectations. You are 27 years old, you should be getting married and giving me my grandchildren. Not…passing on STDs with this boy.”

I couldn’t hold it and punched the wall next to me. I saw Tim jump with my peripheral vision. She did as well.

“Okay, you’re crossing the line there!” I yelled again. I’m angry, how can I not yell?

She turned around, putting her scarf and looked behind me.

“And you...”

She was talking to Tim who was, I’m guessing, panicking right now and trying to hold it in.

“Do what’s best for you and leave here, unless…I will take charge and my son won’t have anything to do with this family.” She said.

I heard Tim breathe out. This was she always does. My head hurts.

“Do it! I don’t care! I am not letting him go, he is not leaving me, you can scare us all you want, it won’t work. It didn’t work when I was 18 and living with you, and it won’t work when I’m 27, living on my own, when I’m working to provide for myself.” I came up closer to her, I don’t care how close, whatever I say, it will not go through her thick and useless brain.

“Armand, you are working on dangerous grounds here. You and that boy have no future.” She said it calmly.

“His name is Timothée and there is a future for us. I’m hoping you won’t be a part in it.” Now I’m the who’s calm, but barely.

Getting closer to her.

“You think this will all pass? Did you see him? He’s wearing my clothes. His neck…I marked him. We went out last night, to a club, and you know which kind. And this morning, you interrupted us while we were having…”

Her hand across my left cheek stopped me from talking.

“You are disgusting. I’d rather spit on you.” She blurted out.

I touched my cheek, feeling her nails go all the way to my eye.

“Go ahead. It’s nothing like haven’t done before.” I looked up at her.

She knew exactly what I meant.

“Your right hand is sinful you should chop her off.” She said.

I only chuckled.

“Yeah? I’m not as invested as you are, mother. And you sinned, you slapped your son, you should chop your hand off. Then again…what has changed?”

This is something I never told anyone, not even Tim, too embarrassed, I guess.

“You used to slap me and kick me and destroy the house because I liked boys. Now it’s serious. I’m not a kid mom. You can’t order me around anymore. Go home, disown me, and remember that you are the one who is at loss here. You’re losing one son. Were you blind for the past 27 years of your life? How did you not realize your son was gay? Is it because I had girlfriends? I had no emotional connection to them. If you can’t accept me…then, this is over. His mother loves me, she supports him.” My voice is surprisingly calm.

I want her out.

“What you believe in is invisible. But I at least hoped your love for your son would beat something that is invisible.” I added.

She looked defeated, frowning, stiffing her teeth. I just told her secret in front of a total stranger. Tim was a stranger to her. Not to me. I can tell him anything.

“Goodbye.” She whispered as she opened the door and left on her own.

I slammed the door behind her.

“Fuck off.” I whispered and returned to the living room.

Tim was still standing, leaned up against the wall, looking down at his feet, crying.

I went to the bathroom, closed the door and grab a hold of the sink and let go.

If I could, I’d break the sink. But I’d scare Tim. No, I don’t want that. I let everything out, I was crying, ugly crying.

Why did she have to come now and fuck everything up? Can I go back in time and not answer the door? I just hope this doesn’t make us take a huge step back.

And where is Timmy? Is he packing? Is he leaving me? Does he think she’s right? She’s not. I see my future with him and only him.

Seconds later, the door opened and he walked in.

He was red in the face, sobbing silently, wiping off his tears. I saw all of that in the mirror. I actually didn’t need to look in the mirror, I looked the same.

He hugged me from behind, pressing up his body against mine. I breathed out. What a relief! He’s not going anywhere.

I turned around and hugged him properly. We made no eye-contact. It felt like my heart was about to explode. I love him so fucking much. We need to talk, but there’s just too much going on right now.

Timmy parted away from me, lifted up my shirt and pushed his body inside it. It was big enough for the both of us. I chuckled once I felt his warm and wet face against my chest.

I hugged him once more and embrace him tightly. His head peaked through the neck hole and I caught my opportunity to kiss his forehead.

“I want to sleep Tim.” I whispered against his forehead.

“Me too.”

Timmy’s POV

I felt someone breathing deeply and closer to me. Then I felt someone touching my body. When I opened my eyes suddenly, I realized I was being carried.

Armie was carrying me. He was the one who was breathing next to me, he was the one touching my body. I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch and now he’s taking me to the bedroom. I closed my eyes again and leaned my head against his shoulder.

Wait.

Armie came back?

I never doubted at him. That silly rule about midnight…never meant anything, I knew he would never break it.

I relaxed inside his embrace as he was carrying me.

He put me on top of the dirty sheets, uncovered it and helped me get under the covers. I kept closing and opening my eyes.

Armie closed the bedroom door, took off his shoes and his jacket. He stripped down and lied next to me in his boxers.

He lied facing me and pulled me closer to him.

“What time is it?” I asked, yawning.

“It’s 9:30 pm.” He said.

My eyes flew opened. Woah. What? He was out for only an hour and a half? Good boy.

“Armie…” I whispered, but he stopped me.

“Listen…I drove back to our special place. You know the one. And all I could think about is you. Not what she said. That’s why I came back so quickly. I never told you about the beating up. That happened pretty often while I was growing up, and that’s why I really do not care what happens afterwards. I only want you. In the future, if that’s what you want with me as well. I will work on me and opening up and thinking everything through, I will. I can promise you that. I will not hide anything from you. I will not run away and be silent. I will not let go of you so easily…if that’s what you want with me as well.” He’s speaking so beautifully; I love hearing him making his own promises for the future.

“That being said…I want you to move in with me Tim. Or, you know…move your stuff in here because I already have you.”

My jaw dropped. Was this the next step? Moving in with him? Totally unexpected. And I just woke up. Is this a dream?

“One more thing…I know I’m just piling it up for you, one by one, I know you’re young, too young yes, and it’s not the time or the place to…tie the knot. But…while I was out there, all I could think about is us and our future: you finish school, you go to college, here or wherever, I go with you, I can always work as a professor anywhere. Then you find a job, and we move there, we tie the knot, and whenever we’re ready, we adopt kids, a girl and a boy, like we talked about, then we grow old together, watching our kids grow up, get out into the world and have families of their own. This is just too much, I know…but eh…I don’t see where we can go with this.”

In the middle of his speech, I started crying and I couldn’t help it.

“So…will you promise to stay with me? Forever?” He breathed out and wiped a tear in front of me.

“Armie…”

I whispered his name. Pure shock on his face.

“Armie I can’t promise you that.”

I sobbed even harder. I needed a moment.

“I can’t promise you that, without a kiss.” I breathed out a laugher and hugged his neck next to me and pushed ever closer towards his bare chest. I was smiling the entire time.

He exhaled and I felt the bed going lighter.

“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, I swear, sometimes, you want me dead before the age of 30.” He breathed out and smashed our foreheads together.

I kept on nodding my head against his as we were kissing in tears, sealing the deal. Yes, I will move in with him, yes, I want a future with him. Yes, to everything!

“Forever?” I asked him as he was caressing my cheek few minutes later.

“Forever.”

(The End)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been crazy past 3 days, and 2 years. We've all seen what happened. I am disappointed, shocked but not surprised. That's why i decided to end this Charmie fanfic here. I was planning on going to 70 chapters actually but i couldn't. I wrote this chapter with tears in my eyes. It's 3 am, i need to sleep, and i need a break from all of this.  
> I really hope you enjoyed the last chapter, it's kinda quick but i didn't want to drag it out to yet another day.
> 
> For everyone who has stayed with me from Chapter 1 and everyone who participated and loved it and had fun with it and cried over it (sorry) and to everyone who gave me non-stop support and love : THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! You will never know what all of this meant to me: every comment, every kudo, every hit, every beautiful and encouraging word. I remember planning on writing this and i was in the middle of my internship and then quarantine came in afterwards, my God, a lot of shit went down and you all stuck with me. Again, thank you! You have no idea how much i will miss this and miss everyone of you, but i have 0 energy. I love you all so fucking much, i am crying rn, damn! I'm so emotionally attracted to this fanfic and these characters!   
> Please, stay safe and take care! And if you want to talk to me, my tumblr is wehadthe-stars.❤️❤️
> 
> i will take a break from writing for a while. Hopefully, when i get back, the situation is going to be better.❤️


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